That’s the speech he could have given if Barack was a privileged white man living on the largese of Scafie Foundation. Otherwise not so much.
Also what is it with conservatives and Monday morning quarterbacking? I guess it’s just an outgrowth of their pathological desire to tell other people what to do.

Dear America, I apologize for and denounce all black people and their works. And none of it was Whitey’s fault. Woops, I used the word Whitey. I apologize for that too.

Signed, Barack Obama

VD is for everybody, not just those you love!

Is there a single living conservative who isn’t the world’s stupidest person?

Now that is one cracker ass cracker.

First, today’s America has evolved into a multiracial society unlike anytime in our long history. Each of America’s groups has unique grievances, based on their own past ordeals.

White people, for example, were never compensated for all of the profits that they lost when their slaves selfishly died in passage. The psychological damage of that historic injustice runs deep; indeed, every time that black people sit together in a cafeteria it pours fresh salt in old wounds.

So now more than ever in American history, there is need to establish a universal, absolute standard of public discourse in which no individual or group claims extenuating circumstances to demonize other Americans.

Which is fine in theory, though I get the feeling that VD Hanson would have excused Instapunk’s racist ramblings and chalked them up to well, he was just responding to where he thinks we’re going as a society blah blah blah…

“Is there a single living conservative who isn’t the world’s stupidest person?”

It must be some kind of weird contest.

Yep, once again the “shorter” is spot-on.

if i were VFIDH Hanson, I’d employ someone who can teach him something about suit jackets and ties. red satin and blue tweed?

btw, not that you need more wingnut material but this item in – surprise! – The National Post – is over the top

One of the most disturbing aspects of the growing concern over climate change is the giddy delight with which some members of the left await the coming global catastrophe. Of course they don’t admit to being delighted. Instead, they claim to be extremely upset about the prospect of melting ice caps, rising sea levels, drought, flooding, crop failure, species extinction and so on. But let’s be honest, listening to a global warming hysteric rhyme off the terrible and inevitable consequences of driving to work or buying a Big Mac is to hear someone in the rapture of a geo-pornographic fantasy.

Let us call these people “declinists,” and their animating philosophy “declinism.” What motivates declinism is an attitude so pessimistic that it is almost theological: not only are things worse than they used to be, but they’re getting worse with every passing year.

The fact is, you liberals can go to hell in a hand basket!

And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what white people can do for you – ask what you can do for white people.

What time will you be home?

Gary, you dolt, we’re atheists and therefore don’t believe in hand baskets.

Tis a far, far better thing I do for white people than I have ever done before….

I’m no expert on what the kids call the InterTubes, but I’m willing to bet that, somewhere on there, someone can find a quote or three from the Tree Farm Thucydides that makes this passage..
“So now more than ever in American history, there is need to establish a universal, absolute standard of public discourse in which no individual or group claims extenuating circumstances to demonize other Americans.”

…a big old pile of two-faced bullshit.

Where are we going? And—–why am I in this handbasket?

A guy in a suit knocked on my door one day, offering to spread the Good News about baskets. Intrigued, I asked for more information. He gave me a small basket, and when I looked inside my life was changed forever.

Blessed be, Lord of Straw! Blessed be!

Is there a single living conservative who isn’t the world’s stupidest person?

Its a feature, not a flaw.

“But if I ran the zoo,”
Said young Gerald McGrew,
“I’d make a few changes,
That’s just what I’d do…

The lions and tigers and that kind of stuff
They have up her now are not quite good enough.
You see things like these in just any old zoo.
They’re awfully old-fashioned. I want something new!“

Tis a far, far better thing I do for white people than I have ever done before….
John Sydney Carton McCain III?

Michelle Obama should take up knitting, just to make people nervous.

The fact is, you liberals can go to hell in a hand basket!

At least I’m enjoying the ride.

And when you are dead I will dance on your grave
Unable to dance I will crawl, crawl, crawl…

The fact is, ooooooohh yyyeaeaaaahhhh.

Oh Susan, why hast thou forsaken me?

Racism is complicated and has many causes…screw it, it’s caused by those damn kids who won’t pull up their pants!

Its a feature, not a flaw.

Exactly. If you go to the US Patent Office, you can view the schematic drawing on file.

Gary, I’m starting to think you have keyboard Tourette’s.

FSM, how are things in upper peninsula Michigan? I heard they be hatin’ on youz at Michigan Tech. 😉

Exactly. If you go to the US Patent Office, you can view the schematic drawing on file.

Here it is.

FSM, I decided to find a god that was lower in carbs.

Susan, you might want to consider an all-wheat FSM – lower carbs plus FIBER.

Seriously. I really hung over and that VDH shit is making me want to puke.

Again.

I’d be on board with a Flying Udon Monster. Better acronym too.

I’m waiting to read the speech Obama could have given…in Klingon.

Well…no, I’m not.

What would its eyes be, shiitakes?

Once again:

The speech he should have given.

And when he had given thanks, he broke the noodles and said, “This is my body, which was extruded for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

In the same way he took the sauce, saying, “This marinara is the new covenant in my blood; slurp this, whenever you eat it, in remembrance of me.”

For whenever you eat this pasta and slurp this sauce, you proclaim my deliciousness until leftovers tommorrow, or maybe the next day.

http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ZjE5NDA1OTQ3MjJiZmMyZTAxN2IxNWM0YzBlZjU3Nzc=

OK, Vic. You can bite it now.

I think this whole Wright thing is actually going to work out for Obama. I saw an interesting poll where 1/3 of the respondents had heard much of hte “controversy” but had not seen or read Obama’s speech. Still, even with the “controversy” respondents had a favorable view of the man.

To me, this means that the electorate aren’t as stupid as the wingers hope, and that while the wingers continue to hang on to this controversy like grim death, rather than bothering to tout the credentials of their man, St. McCain, the public is really over the whole fucking thing.

Maybe the public *gets* where Obama is coming from and the wingers are exposing themselves further as the witless buffoons we all know them to be.

I don’t beleive in handbaskets as I am a member of the Reformed Church of the Picnic Basket. Satan takes the form of a hungry cartoon bear wearing a bowtie and hat.

That’s a face that was made to be slapped!

What would its eyes be, shiitakes?

Those swirly fish-cakes. A design triumph.

Satan takes the form of a hungry cartoon bear wearing a bowtie and hat.

Watch out for Beelzebooboo

RB-

Your god is trying to hypnotize me!

The fact is, ugh! Ugh ugghh!

Sadly for the ClownHallers, Obama has a spine. Fuck off.

we’re atheists and therefore don’t believe in hand baskets.
The domain of science and the domain of hand-baskets are separate, non-overlapping magisteria.

White people, for example, were never compensated for all of the profits that they lost when their slaves selfishly died in passage.

Sadly, yes. they were insured. No kidding. Ever hear of Lloyd’s?

Your god is trying to hypnotize me!

You can’t not worship the Flying Udon Monster.

Handbaskets don’t generally fare too well aorund here. Most newcomers arrive in motor homes. Say, what do thoes ‘W’ stickers mean anyway?

“Satan takes the form of a hungry cartoon bear wearing a bowtie and hat.

Watch out for Beelzebooboo”
____________________________________________________
I just read some of VD’s anti-Obama commenters.
Egad. I think I’ll just watch the Banana Splits now. Or put my eyes out with red hot pokers.

I wish just one of these rubes would acknowledge the full context of Wright’s comments. Thanks to someone here, I actually heard the full sermon and (*boggle*) it’s nothing like the excerpts that ended up on Faux Noise.

Aww, I’m not even fooling myself…these people are intentionally misrepresenting Wright and Obama.

What pisses me off, though, is when “mainstream” news sources like Newsweek perpetrate this shit. They have no excuse.

The Vinaya Pitaka, the S?tra Pitaka and the Abhidharma Pitaka are the Tripitaka or three handbaskets of Buddhist doctrine.

The fact is….pffffffbbbbbbbbbfffffftttt!

I hereby absolve all conservatives of racism.

-Thomas Sowell

If I were Barack Obama, I would have focused all of my speech on how millions of white women can finally masturbate to a black man who isn’t savaging them with a burning plantation in the backdrop; which come to think of it is why he makes all them crackers so nervous to begin with.

Shorter Victor Angela Marcus Garvey Davis Hanson:

Look for me in the whirlwind or the storm, look for me all around you, for, with God’s grace, I shall come and bring with me countless millions of black slaves who have died in America and the West Indies and the millions in Africa to aid you in the fight for Liberty, Freedom and Life.

I’m still trying to figure out that whole “hell in a hand basket” thing. Is it “hand bag”? I’ve heard both. Secondly, is that just a product of alliteration? As a metaphor, the symbology is suspect, unless you have one mighty big hand basket there. “Hell in a 1976 Chevy Caprice” might be more realistic, although it lacks something in literary flair.

I’d tackle the entimology of “hell in a hand-basket”, but I’m still trying to understand “Cheeseburger in Paradise”…

Hell *is* a 1976 Chevy Caprice.

With no air conditioning, windows that can’t roll down, and Daffyd ab Fat sitting behind you eating chili dogs.

Let’s just say it and end all of this racial nonsense.

zeppo, that oughta be “Hell is a 1976 Chevy Caprice.” (Or, as we used to call it, a Chevy Carapace.)

OneMan: What pisses me off, though, is when “mainstream” news sources like Newsweek perpetrate this shit. They have no excuse.

Well, of course they have an excuse. The full context is (a) long and (b) complex, meaning it would require more than the 30 seconds/two sentences that seems to be the limit of the average American’s attention span. You start filling up the pages with all those words, or the screens with all that video, you start losing valuable eyeball-on-ad time.

“and, if Obama had given this speech, myself and the rest of the right wing would have known we have yet another wimpy Democrat that we can attack with bullshit until the election and make him apologize for everything he does and does not say. It’s worked so well! After all, we stick by all the crooks, perverts, racists, and sleazebags on our side through thick and thin.”

As a proud Stanford alum, I just have to point out one small thing: This turd’s signature line states that he belongs to the “Hoover Institution, Stanford University.”

The Hoover Institution is physically located on Stanford’s campus but otherwise has NOTHING TO DO with the university. It makes me bananas when people don’t grasp that point (or deliberately obscure it, as this fool probably did).

I’d tackle the entimology of “hell in a hand-basket”, but I’m still trying to understand “Cheeseburger in Paradise”…

According to my Grand Pop a hand basket was a small railed mining car that could be pushed by hand (rather than pulled by a pony)–and the phrase originally had something to do with falling uncontrolled to the bottom of a mine shaft. Of course, my Grand Pop drank…..a lot…..

That’s very good, Rishy. If not true, then at least plausible. Thanks. Man, to think I actually learned something new today. Not anything that will particularly ever help me in the future, but it still is nice to never stop learning.

First let me say this is One Great Blog. I want to thank ‘pedestrian’ for some really funny stuff (not that he is alone).

But, as a not-so-proud Stanford alum, ’67, I have to say Bitter Scribe is wrong about the Hoover, where VD Hanson hangs out. From the current Stanford Magazine, page 54: “… Hoover *is* part of Stanford; its director reports to President Hennessy. Like other University units, it can make visiting nonteaching appointments independently.”

And just for added flavor, I’ll point out that Condoleeza Rice is a tenured professor at Stanford, on leave for public service, and unless the tenure committee acts, she’ll be back in 2009.

Hail, Stanford, hail.

* at least we had the sense not to give actual frickin degrees to Rice, Rumsfeld, and the other Distinguished Unindicted War Criminals that the Hoover has honored. Yale and Harvard have some ‘splainin’ to do about the degrees they gave the Shrub.

Until that black waitress apologizes for not bringing me my motherfucking ice tea, we are all victims of racism.

Of course they don’t admit to being delighted. Instead, they claim to be extremely upset about the prospect of melting ice caps, rising sea levels, drought, flooding, crop failure, species extinction and so on. But let’s be honest, listening to a global warming hysteric… is to hear someone in the rapture of a geo-pornographic fantasy.

That is like arguing that when Mark Steyn sounds the alarum about how the white European races are falling behind in the race to outbreed the rest of the world, he is secretly fantasising about a future world populated only by fecund and well-endowed dark-skinned people… And when Horowitz bangs on about the threat posed by the Isalmofascists to civilisation as we know it, he is really in the throes of a geo-pornographic fantasy where the gleaming scimitars of Allah have over-thrown our liberal flaccidity and replaced our decadence with a code of inflexible morality…

Hmm. Let me think about those two examples. I’ll check with the World Association of Psychobabbling Pop Analysts and get back to you.

Man, who the hell asked Victor David Charlie Linus Hanson anyway? That’s one thing that’s stood out to me this week, the arrogance of racist doodyheads. I’ve said it elsewhere, but VDH comes off as “Woof! Wham! A White Man Has Spoken! So Spake Honkus, So Mote It Be!” and Black America is supposed to just shrug their collective shoulders and say “Well, he is White and they do know best.”

Why, it’s almost like they’ve never ever had any relationship with a black person or persons that went beyond the barest superficialities. Maybe I’m just cynical.

Hey, do you suppose Obama will hire Hanson as a speechwriter now?

The fact is, you liberals can go to hell in a big hand-basket of dicks!

* at least we had the sense not to give actual frickin degrees to Rice, Rumsfeld, and the other Distinguished Unindicted War Criminals that the Hoover has honored. Yale and Harvard have some ’splainin’ to do about the degrees they gave the Shrub.

Don’t blame me, I wasn’t consulted.

As for poor Harvard, they sux.

#

Hoosier X said,

March 27, 2008 at 21:15

Is there a single living conservative who isn’t the world’s stupidest person?

Now, they can’t all be the stupidest at once. They have to take turns.

Currently, it’s George’s turn.

In other news, is it not becoming obvious from the elite’s pile on of Obama that they feel very threatened by him?

They don’t feel threatened by Hillary or McCain.

The work-to-rule will continue until our oppressed brethren hamsters hamstren of Sadly,No! receive longer breaks and a better grade of methamphetamine.

Well, he is articulate you know. It scares ’em.

This calls for another scene from “Finians Rainbow”:

——————————————————————————–
Buzz Collins: Well, you’ll like working here, Boy. I’ve hired all the senator’s butlers for the past ten years. Hundreds of them. He’s a little intolerant at times, but that’s just his blood pressure. Now, let’s see you serve that julep.
[Howard serves it]
Buzz Collins: Oh, no. Rawkins won’t like that, that’s no way to serve a julep. It’s too fast. Get some shuffle into it. You’ve seen some of the new movies like ‘Birth of a Nation’ and ‘Gone With the Wind,’ haven’t you? Here, like this, George.
Howard: Howard.
Buzz Collins: Yeah, okay, Jackson.
[He does a splay-legged shuffle and imitates Rochester]
Buzz Collins: Yo’ julep suh, Massa Rawkins, suh, all frossy an’ minty, yawk! Yawk! Yawk! You see, George?
Howard: Uh… why do I have to shuffle?
Buzz Collins: Oh, I don’t have to explain that to you. It makes for kindly feelings between employer and employee. Now try it again, only not so fast this time.
Howard: Uh… how did you do that again?
Buzz Collins: I don’t understand you Jackson. I mean, you don’t walk like your supposed to, you don’t talk like you’re supposed to, you don’t even know how to serve a julep like you’re supposed to! Are you educated or something?
Howard: Well, I’m working on my Masters.
Buzz Collins: Working on your master’s what?
Howard: It’s a college degree!
Buzz Collins: Oh! Don’t mention the word ‘college’ around the Senator! It upsets him. But that’s beside the point, George. Do you want a job here or don’t you?
Howard: Well, yes sir I do, I… Ah needs da money.
Buzz Collins: [cheerful] Oh! Well, that’s all the more reason for you to make good here. Then when you get your… college degree, you’ve got a job here for life!

Seriously. I really hung over and that VDH shit is making me want to puke.

Everyone has a calling, and Victor Davis Hanson’s calling is to make his fellow citizens want to puke.

Vic knows that all this guff about history & stuff is old news.

The real question is, how many schools have been painted since the invasion?

THAT’s the universal, absolute standard of public discourse in America.

Funny that it doesn’t come up more…

VD Hanson puts the “m” in emesis.

baba durag…POTD!!!

Man. It’s like VDH just gave in and let the tumor start doing all the talking for him.

VDH is part of malevolent brain trust that is sinking the United States as fast as it can. This piece is par for the course. Obama can impress me by flattering all my conservative opinions, blah blah blah. What horseshit.

I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again –
as an observer of and commenter on contemporary
political and social issues. VD Hanson is a
first rate classical scholar.

That said – what a maroon. He hasn’t an idea in his
head that his grandmother would have had to apologize
for (hat tip to GB Shaw).

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