OMG, Please Make This Happen

robwilliamsobamaspeech.jpg

Above: Conservatives imagine a ‘new dialogue on race in America’


Confederate Yankee is deeply concerned that Barack Obama “seems content to tar all African-American churches with a wide brush in order to defend the failings of his own church, his pastor, and his own character.”

Obama implies that because Trinity United Church of Christ has continually employed a senior pastor unable to control his anger, anti-Americanism, and conspiracy-theorizing during Barack’s 20 years at that church, that other predominantly African-American churches are afflicted with the same disease.

But is it really true that other black churches have loud, black preachers? It’s impossible to tell from CY’s seat at his “deliberately diverse church with a substantial African-American congregation and an African-American senior pastor,” especially amid all the “dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting,” but he wonders nonetheless:

Is it true that other predominately African-American congregations applaud when their pastor exhorts them to sing out “God damn America,” or is it more likely that most African-American churches focus on honoring the words of Jesus Christ as written in the Bible, and leave the responsibility of damnation to God?

Clearly, a CY Investigative Report™ is needed here. Bob should travel the country, visiting black churches and asking parishioners if they belong to “congregations that are pustules of anger, ignorance and intolerance.”

He could also ask questions like:

– Do you support race hustlers like Maxine Waters?

– I feature the Confederate Battle Flag on my website. Got a problem with that?

– I see that you are conducting a food drive. Don’t you think that just encourages the black cycle of poverty?

– Are you angry that, while Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton protest the Iraq War, “Where have they been for poor blacks and other minorities that are seeing their wages undercut by illegal labor?”

– Do you subscribe to an anti-American “Black Value System”?

 

Comments: 102

 
 
 

-Y’all are good at barbeque, could you help me buy a new gas grill?

 
 

You had me at “Confederate Yankee is deeply concerned.”

Everything else was gravy.

 
 

Actually he should just introduce himself to the black folk as Confederate Yankee. No further exchanges of a non-pugilistic nature should be necessary.

 
 

He could ask them, “Do you feel like Barack Obama is applying tar…Baby?”

 
 

Shorter Confederate Yankee:

“Negroes…….hmph”

 
 

Goddamn it, I haven’t posted a comment in months, I finally thought of something pithy and there were only five comments up, and it turns out that the very first one stole my idea. Damn you, fish, get offa my lawn!

Slightly revised: “Seein’ as you colored folks are kinda shifty and all that, have you ever tried to make bogus claims for damaged barbeque equipment following a storm? Here’s whatcha do: take your grill over to the neighbor’s yard, tip it over, and take a picture. That’s it. Cha-ching, baby! Brand new Weber, courtesy of the Man!”

 
 

Say, how’s about turning a feller on to some of that there guv’mint cheese? Shore would be partial to some after all the hootin’ and hollerin’ we been up to in church and all ….

 
 

Say, that Bill Cosby feller shore does lay it on the line, don’t he jess? He’s what I call a credit to his … er, a real swell guy.

 
 

Then, if any of his nurses turn out to be African-American, he could continue his incisive blog queries from his hospital bed.

 
 

It’s becoming increasingly clear that one of the consequences, intended or otherwise, of Obama’s speech is the public exposure of the mouth-breathers, ankle-biters, and bigots who make up the winger establishment.

Obama’s speech ISN’T over the head of the average person, no matter how the shit-stains wish to convince them otherwise; it was incredibly clear and neutral in tone. It’s clear what he was saying, and it’s clear that he is correct. You litterally have to be as pig ignorant and tone deaf as Bob Owens, Michelle Malkin, and Dan Riehl to miss the point.

This speech will force the average person, who probably never has heard a politician speak so honestly about race, to ask himself whether he lines up with Bob Owens or not. If he does, he was never going to vote for Obama any way.

 
 

leave the responsibility of damnation to God

Word, Brother CY. I know when I think of wingnuts, this is exactly the sensibility that comes to mind.

 
 

agreed, Kathleen, because you know those white evangelical churches are so good about not damning anyone and stuff.

 
 

gbear, the white evangelical leaders don’t count because they really do talk with god and know exactly whom he condemns and damns. You can add anyone you want to the list if you send Pat Robertson $50.

As for CY and an investigative report, that would require him to, I don’t know, go do something like actually talk to people. That will clearly be too much damn work.

 
 

CY’s just pointing out that anger and resentment are reserved for white folks. Just like Trix are for kids. Silly blacks.

 
 

It’s becoming increasingly clear that one of the consequences, intended or otherwise, of Obama’s speech is the public exposure of the mouth-breathers, ankle-biters, and bigots who make up the winger establishment.

I’m seeing his entire candidacy that way.

 
 

No further exchanges of a non-pugilistic nature should be necessary.

True, but they’d be funny. Any chance we can get someone with a video camera to follow him around as he makes this grand attempt to reach out?

 
Shorter George W. Bush
 

Rocketship X-M was not a failure, but a resounding success!

 
 

Pfft. Empirical evidence is for lefties. CY’s investigation was complete after he got his gut’s opinion.

 
 

Ha. Rocketship X-M.

I hope they put President Obama on the $25 dollar bill. And the $.75 coin. God, that would be fantastic. CVN USS Barack Obama. Mmmmm… They could rename the Pentagon the Barack Obamagon. And put his face on the Statue of Liberty!

Please, god, anything. I never want this schadenfreude to end! Everyday of watching these rednecks freak out that a black man is going to be pres’dint is a glorious day of joy.

 
 

What Legalize said.

I’m Suthun-raised and come from good Appalachian hillbilly stock, so I know from ignernt backwoodsical cretins.

And when it comes to ignernt backwoodsical cretins, by their reactions to Obama’s speech shall ye know them.

 
 

Don’t worry, I’m hot on the trail of the secret signal Barry X sent to his followers through the speech to turn this nation into an Islamofascist state run by militant black Christians allied with al-Queda and the Communistic Black Panthers.

“How is this possible?” Lie-berals might ask. Barry X is just that skilled that he brings all our evil, dark-skinned bogeymen with widely different agendas together in an orgy of America-hating. The fact that he didn’t kick his evil pastor in the nuts onstage while pledging his love for the white Jesus only proves that point.

 
 

Speaking of Malkin, I await her investigative reporting on Ashley, the girl who ate mustard and relish sandwiches while her mother was unemployed due to being sick with cancer. Why didn’t Ashley’s mother take personal responsiblity for the lifestyle choices that led to her getting cancer, and, furthermore, what kind of car was Ashley’s mother driving while Ashley was eating mustard and relish sandwiches? Inquring minds want to know.

 
 

Add these to the CY Survey:

“Where do you keep the guy who does the backflip, like I saw on the Blues Brothers?”

“Can I request the song they had in The Color Purple?”

 
 

Please, god, anything. I never want this schadenfreude to end! Everyday of watching these rednecks freak out that a black man is going to be pres’dint is a glorious day of joy.

Obama. It’s the new Reagan.

I wonder if that space is still available on Mount Rushmore?

 
 

In the same way a paranoid psychotic will convince himself that your friendly nod as you passed him on the street yesterday means you’re plotting to kill him and his family, as soon as CY says “[insert name of Democrat or liberal] implies” you know he’s imagined something and hemmed and hawed himself into a stew about it. .

 
 

-“My grill got blown over. Can you give me some money?”

 
 

Then, if any of his nurses turn out to be African-American, he could continue his incisive blog queries from his hospital bed.

This is a good recipe for getting a catheter, at the largest diameter the nursing staff has in stock.

 
 

It’s impossible to tell from CY’s seat at his ‘deliberately diverse church with a substantial African-American congregation and an African-American senior pastor,’ especially amid all the ‘dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting,’

What? No church picnic with watermelon? No communion with chitlin wafers? What kind of church does this bohunk attend?

 
 

Has anyone seen this yet?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=khuu-RhOBDU

I think we might have found CY’s pastor

 
 

Also, how can a church be “deliberately diverse”? Some sort of affirmative action program?

 
 

Obama effectively, and in pretty good faith, extened a nod to the barking wingnut-o-world as if saying, “ok I get your concerns. Now, here are the concerns of many many black folks. Let’s address them and move on with things.” Some wingers, like even the NRO and Bill O’Reilly had the sense to say, “well, I’m not totally placated, but we’ll see how things go.” Nope, not Malkin, CY, and Riehl.

Really, undecided guy, are those the retards you wanna associate with?

 
 

Also, how can a church be “deliberately diverse”?

You should have seen the tension on that first day of busing.

 
Principal Blackman
 

Speaking of Malkin, I await her investigative reporting on Ashley, the girl who ate mustard and relish sandwiches while her mother was unemployed due to being sick with cancer. Why didn’t Ashley’s mother take personal responsiblity for the lifestyle choices that led to her getting cancer, and, furthermore, what kind of car was Ashley’s mother driving while Ashley was eating mustard and relish sandwiches? Inquring minds want to know.

Damn, you beat me to it. As soon as a name is mentioned, Stalkin’ Malkin will likely be all over it–this time on some “Ah-ha, you dirty lying liberal–it was ketchup and relish sandwiches! And I see her mom had $25 to put a couple gallons of gas in the car! How irresponsible!”

 
 

• When I lived in upstate New York, people made fun of me because my side lost the Civil War. Do you get that too?

 
 

gbear said,
I wonder if that space is still available on Mount Rushmore?

I am loving this so much.

 
 

A great percentage of my relatives (natural and in-law) are like Mr. Wankee here…black people this, black people that, always acting like they’re asking the BIG questions of “black America” or what have you. It’s always struck me as a sad obsession, this inability to tie one’s shoes without blasting black people for some sort of social ill. It’s never KKK-level hatred, just this pathetic belief that you’re some brilliant philosopher on race relations while the rest of us are all like dude, can we PLEASE talk about something else over dinner?

And none of them- not a friggin one- has ever actually asked a real live black person any of these questions. I’m sure this is somehow central to their point.

 
 

Sometimes, here in Idaho, I see someone with a Confederate flag.

While it’s possible they don’t know Idaho wasn’t involved in the Civil War, it’s much more likely that they just hate niggers.

 
 

I choose to believe that regardless of race, all Christian congregations focus primarily on the Word of God and helping their communities, not blaming others for their misfortunes, real or imagined.

Yep. Christian communities never blame others for their misfortunes.

And given what Jesus and the Prophets say about various subjects (has CY ever really considered what the Sermon on the Mount is really about?), it seems to me focusing on the Word of God would involve a lot of damning, wouldn’t it?

In a rare moment of actual wit as opposed to Wit(TM), NPR today nailed it: those who find Jeremiah Wright a little strident would do well to read about the life and teaching of the Prophet after whom Jeremiah Wright is ultimately named.

 
 

I propose we offer to buy CY a new grill if he goes out and does the proposed survey of black churches. Heck, I’ll pay for the grill myself.

On a side note, now that the “Obama is a scary black Christian” meme is out, does that mean winguttia will finally shut up about the “secret muslim” crap?

If so, at least we’re seeing some progress.

 
 

You know, I really don’t get what the big deal is over this preacher’s speech. If you know your Bible, you know that what he said is probably the most scripturally reliable thing any preacher’s ever said. God did a lot of damning, back in the day. I’m pretty sure he’d damn America, you know, if he existed and all.

Hell, I read this yesterday, and I damned America my own self.

 
 

See, I disagree. There’s no need to add his face to Rushmore.

We need to demolish Rushmore. And replace it with a full body, tasteful, “reclining nude” of Massah Obama, as we whities will be forced to call him.

I’m already shopping around for space on The Mall to put his monument. It will the grandest of them all. And you bet your Allah that it’s going to eclipse that silly, white Christian rule about not being taller then the capital building. You know that statue of Thomas Jefferson, when he’s standing all regal? It’ll be that, except with a Obama’s smilin’ head. 300 yards tall. On a rotating platform, so that He may forever watch over us all.

I’m thinking there’s a whole crap load of wastes space between the Washington memorial and the Capital. I’ll get some estimates.

 
 

Do we need to buy CY a George Foreman grille for rainy days?

btw, Hillary could still screw this up. That would suck.

 
Stephen Hermann
 

As my brilliant wife said to one of her white students who asked, “why do Blacks get their own cable channel (BET)?”
“Because white people already have their own — Fox News!”
It’s always a zero-sum game when your little pertater punch ain’t gettin’ watered.

 
 

Whoa! Hold on, can we back up for a minute. Consider this:

“an African-American senior pastor that spends a considerable portion of her time in the pulpit”

CY’s spiritual leader is a…black woman. I think I might have to reconsider my take on CY. I had no idea. What does this mean? Is CY a practicing multicultural feminist?

Also, note that he’s down with the whole shakin’ and bakin’ and singin’ thing. CY singing and dancing in church? Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

I think we’ve got to reconsider CY in the light of this.

 
 

You know that statue of Thomas Jefferson, when he’s standing all regal? It’ll be that, except with a Obama’s smilin’ head. 300 yards tall. On a rotating platform, so that He may forever watch over us all.

I like that and I hope the designer of the monument will use a little artistic license and give him an afro with one of these sticking out of it at a jaunty angle. And can it be more like 3000 yards tall? No wingnut would ever come near D.C. again.

 
 

I went over there and made a comment that if I were a black member of CY’s congregation I would ask all the white congregants to denounce him for running a site called “Confederate Yankee” and for having the Confederate flag incorporated into his logo. And that I would then ask all my white brethren and sisteren to denounce and renounce any white friends they have who have ever made racist remarks or told racist jokes. I left family out of the equation because I figure we all need to maintain some relationships but CY didn’t like my commented and deleted it. I would ask why but I doubt I’m allowed to comment there anymore.

You’re a coward, CY. Do your diversified brothers and sisters in Christ know about your blog?

 
Principal Blackman
 

On a side note, now that the “Obama is a scary black Christian” meme is out, does that mean winguttia will finally shut up about the “secret muslim” crap?

Oh no, not at all. My guess is that they will reconcile the two something like this: “Obama is a secret Muslim, and that is proven by his connection with a non-Christian ‘Christian’ church that’s all about racism and destroying America!”

 
 

at what point will the wingers begin to recede? I thought once Bush’s popularity tanked they’d be hanging their heads and crawling back under their rocks. but no, they seem to be getting louder and more obnoxious with every passing day.

maybe it’s just the intertubes. you can fire a tucker carlson but you can’t send a confederate yankee packing when he’s typing for free.

 
 

My favorite reaction to the speech, courtesy of a letter to the Philadelphia Inquirer:

“People like us are just so tired of angry black people. We just don’t have the time and interest in this perpetual complaining.”

 
 

You’re forgetting, Nylund, that in greater wingnuttia, calling Obama a scary black Christian while simultaneously calling him a scary black Muslim atheist homosexual communist, there lies no intellectual inconsistency. In fact, if you ask a winger this question, I believe the answer is something about Bill KKKlinton killing Vince Foster for having a lesbian love affair with Hitlery. Or something.

 
 

(has CY ever really considered what the Sermon on the Mount is really about?),

Hey, that’s not fair. CY is a huge fan of Semen on the Mount: he’s watched it so many times, he practically has it memorized!

Hmm? Sermon?

Never heard of it.

 
 

Tontocal, what a story!

David Ripley, executive director of Idaho Chooses Life, says he knows and respects Pro-Life but fears some voters may think Pro-Life is a position rather than a candidate

Actually, ‘widestance’ is a position, legally changing your last name to Pro-Life is a joke. Any children that he has from now on will have to be put on suicide watch because of that last name.

 
 

My favorite reaction to the speech, courtesy of a letter to the Philadelphia Inquirer:

“People like us are just so tired of angry black people. We just don’t have the time and interest in this perpetual complaining.”

Between African-Americans and people who spend 20 hours out of the day whining about black-people-all-do-this and black-people-all-do-that, I’m pretty sure the latter option is the one worth describing as “perpetual” complainers.

Seriously. I can’t visit my mother-in-law for more than 30 minutes before hearing about how awful it is that blacks ride the bus, how awful black people are in stores, how awful black lottery players are, how awful black drivers are, how awful black people talk on the phone, and on and on and on.

 
 

Oh, and I forgot to add: Upon leaving the in-laws’ place with leftovers a year or so ago, my mother-in-law told my wife not to take the thigh and leg chicken portions, as “only black people like those.”

Seriously. Millions and millions of Americans define themselves with this crap. And I’m willing to throw money down that Confederate Wankee is exactly like this in real life.

 
 

Tontocal, that’s priceless.

We had similar weirdness out here in Illinois. A state senator claimed to be a certified public accountant during his re-election campaign. His opponent checked and found out he wasn’t. This guy then went to court to have CPA legally added to his last name.

The judge said no, but this guy won re-election to the state Senate anyway. Interesting side note: This was the stiff beaten in the Republican primary by the stiff who went on to lose the election to replace Dennis Hastert in Congress.

 
 

at what point will the wingers begin to recede? I thought once Bush’s popularity tanked they’d be hanging their heads and crawling back under their rocks. but no, they seem to be getting louder and more obnoxious with every passing day.

Oh, Leslie, please. If being wrong embarrassed the wingers, they’d have died of shame decades ago.

I mean, think about it—when have they ever been right about anything? Starting with the American Revolution, when they were called “Tories”?

 
 

I too left some joyful snark with CY – won’t even bother to see if he nukes it.
Just knowing he’ll have to read it is reward enough.

Boy, these clowns are clutching at straws.
One of CY’s fanbots actually called the speech a “disaster” … & another claims without a hint of irony that John “Shia, Sunni, What’s The Diff?” McCain is the best qualified of the 3 candidates … clearly a cry for Thorazine … must be tough to hold on to their nutbar Weltanschauung when big bad Reality keeps peeing on their parade.

Schadenfreude Ahoy!

 
 

Oh my!! Latest St. McCain news:

Photo-Op Frenzy!

The frenzy was set off when many photographers complained that they were unable to get the photo that the photo-op was designed for: a shot of Mr. McCain placing a note into a crack in the wall. The women photographers, who had to stand in separate area, shouted that Mr. Lieberman was blocking their shots.

 
 

Yesterday my neighbor’s bulldog took it upon himself to hump little jimmy’s leg when jimmy delivered the morning newspaper.

I suppose now I’ll have to denounce this egregious behavior by my neighbor’s dog, and reject him entirely, even while trying to remind people that in spite of their unfortunate propensity for leg-humping, dogs actually do have many redeeming qualities and we should not hate all dogs simple because some dogs are leg – humpers…

mikey

 
 

LOL to all, g and scribe!

 
 

The saddest thing about that photo-op thingy g is that Monsieur O’Reilly wasn’t there to scream at the good senator fat-ass.

 
 

Some Guy said,

March 19, 2008 at 19:21

You know that statue of Thomas Jefferson, when he’s standing all regal? It’ll be that, except with a Obama’s smilin’ head. 300 yards tall. On a rotating platform, so that He may forever watch over us all.

You better make it 300 meters tall, because Obama is going to force everyone to use the Comyuniss metric system that’s plaguing the rest of the world.

 
 

a shot of Mr. McCain placing a note into a crack in the wall.

He might as well shove it up his arse.

 
 

the fact is, it would only be 274.32 meters tall.

 
 

“Justice Thomas…..your reaction to Obama’s speech yesterday?

(blank stare)

“Justice Thomas?…..”

(clears throat)

“I’m with the crazy-assed wop”

 
 

I belong to a deliberately diverse church with a substantial African-American congregation and an African-American senior pastor that spends a considerable portion of her time in the pulpit. We are without a doubt a church with a lot of “dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear,” and we even occasionally have folks overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit fall out in the pews…

Why am I reminded of http://blackpeopleloveus.com/ ?

 
 

Also, how can a church be “deliberately diverse”? Some sort of affirmative action program?

Maybe they have a set number of not-white people they let in every Sunday, turning the rest away. “Sorry, Mr. Wu, but we let all those *whisper*black people*whisper*, so you’re family will have to wait until next week.”

I, too, would like to see CY on Sunday if he indeed “gets happy” when the spirit strikes him. That shit’s funny as hell to see, quite frankly.

And another question for CY to ask all those black people:
“So, do you know Denzel Washington?”

 
 

I hope they put President Obama on the $25 dollar bill
It would be mean-spirited to suggest that after a few months of hyper-inflation, the $25 note will be your smallest denomination.

 
 

The women photographers, who had to stand in separate area, shouted that Mr. Lieberman was blocking their shots.

Probably the first and last time that particular short white guy will block any kind of shot. Heck, I’m short and white, and could probably push past him for a lay-up.

 
 

I’d love to watch the Wankee catch the spirit too.

Another question for black folks: Don’t you believe that “White Men Can’t Jump” is a vile, racist movie?

 
 

The women photographers, who had to stand in separate area,
Are you telling me that McCain and Lieberman were pandering to some bizarre Middle-East religion with an institutionalised belief about female inferiority? Inconceivable.

 
 

Mountain tops? Statues?

pfft!

I can conceive of no grander reason for the United States of America to return to the Moon and maintain a permanent presence than the construction of a monument to the first “Black” president!

Imagine it! Barack Obama’s 2000 mile wide face smiling benevolently down on all of Humanity!

Statues and Mountain tops?
snicker

 
 

O/T Alert

You have to look at this picture.

I really am having trouble wrapping my mind around it.

Thank you, Great Gazoogle. Iraq+Party, indeed.

 
 

“Senator McCain?…..any comments on the ongoing policy dispute over Senator Lieberman’s fat ass?……..Senator?

 
 

Is that another one of Karl Rove’s star turns on stage?

 
 

btw, Hillary could still screw this up. That would suck.

It won’t need to be Hillary–or even Nader. I’m having a Spidey sense that McCain is going to take this one. If I weren’t an atheist pinko mexislamofascist hippie, I’d pray that I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am.

 
 

I can conceive of no grander reason for the United States of America to return to the Moon and maintain a permanent presence than the construction of a monument to the first “Black” president!

It could probably be done by one guy with a bobcat pushing dirt around. I think that companies have already developed the technology to project logos onto the moon, but haven’t quite been able to sell the idea yet. They’ve got about 10 months to get that one thruough, but only if Clear Channel gets the contract.

 
 

thruought.

the new hybrid of short cut spelling AND correct spelling , in one stupid package.

 
 

It depresses me that some people are working so hard to find some kind of evil sentiment in Obama’s speech.

Leaving aside everything else, Obama’s speech suggests that you shouldn’t just immediately vaporise somebody just because they say something that might be construed as racist.

Now, if I were going around calling myself “Confederate Yankee” this is exactly the kind of message I’d embrace.

That people are going out of their way to condemn a message that is openly aimed at treating them fairly is very frightening to me.

 
 

oh hush you’re spoiling it…

 
 

Scratch that second t and I’m going to quit while I’m way behind…

 
 

Besides it wouldn’t be carved into the Moon but suspended about 10 feet above it.

See it would also double a giant solar collector to power the Moonbases.

That would also mean that during the holidays we could make Barack’s eyes twinkle.

 
 

“Senator McCain, there’s a bit of debate going on, questioning your foreign policy experience, especially as it pertains to the Middle East visa vis your comments yesterday where you seemed not to be able to distinguish between Sunni Arabs and Shia Arabs…any comments?”

“Uhh……can I take back what I said about the homos?”

 
Rugged in Montana
 

That people are going out of their way to condemn a message that is openly aimed at treating them fairly is very frightening to me.

Well, I can’t believe you’re even considering voting for someone with a name like Osama! He isn’t even a white person!!

 
 

I love the graphic. Looks like Bernie Mac’s had enough!

 
 

I’d rather have a president who has a crazy preacher than a president who IS a crazy preacher.

And, apparently, so do the Republicans.

 
 

calling Obama a scary black Christian while simultaneously calling him a scary black Muslim atheist homosexual communist, there lies no intellectual inconsistency. In fact, if you ask a winger this question, I believe the answer is something about Bill KKKlinton killing Vince Foster for having a lesbian love affair with Hitlery. Or something.

Oh, it’s even simpler than that: he’s a liberal fascist. Obviously.

 
 

I really shouldn’t have said that about the Rev. Wright.

I agree with many of his statements.

I just would have, uh, phrased it a little differently. Something a little more helpful.

 
 

Yeah! “Negros with Guns” is back at the Sadly, No!

 
 

I, too, would like to see CY on Sunday if he indeed “gets happy” when the spirit strikes him. That shit’s funny as hell to see, quite frankly.

If his church’s choir has half the horsepower that this one has…

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rKcA2A3N5Wg

getting happy would be inevitable. I’d pay to see that.

 
 

Honestly, is there anything Obama could have said that would have satisfied these guys? I mean, short of “Not only do I denounce Rev Wright, as soon as this speech is over I will exhume Ronald Reagan’s corpse, have him cloned, and then fellate him (and his clone) daily.”

 
 

“Not only do I denounce Rev Wright, as soon as this speech is over I will exhume Ronald Reagan’s corpse, have him cloned, and then fellate him (and his clone) daily.”

If Obama said THAT, the conservatards would just have accused him of stealing it from Fred Thompson, Sam Brownback, Alan Keyes, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani and John McCain. And every other Republican seeking the presidency since Asshole Reagan died.

Add, come to think of it, every Republican who WASN’T running for the nomination.

 
 

Honestly, is there anything Obama could have said that would have satisfied these guys?

If he’d pulled out a gun and blew his own brains out, the blood artfully spattering the words ‘Bush Was Right’ on the wall behind him.

 
 

Of course, if he’d done that, a few hard cases would have quibbled with Obama’s use of ‘faggy cursive’ … but all and all it would have been roundly applauded in the wingnutosphere.

 
Roggered in Montana
 

I’m thinking there’s a whole crap load of wastes space between the Washington memorial and the Capital. I’ll get some estimates.

I think the Washington memorial could easily be incorporated into a naked-reclining-Obama motif… if you get my drift.

 
 

Proper black pastors strut around Fort Lauderdale in military fatigues to show their support for Jim Naugle.

 
 

EnfantTerrible,
Hell yeah. That choir director looked like he got struck with the spirit. Wonder he does that every week. That’d be pretty cool, though it’d have to be weird if he just sorta stood there one week.

 
 

David Ripley, executive director of Idaho Chooses Life, says he knows and respects Pro-Life but fears some voters may think Pro-Life is a position rather than a candidate and mistakenly mark their ballots both for him and for another anti-abortion candidate for the Senate, thus nullifying their choices

I’m going to legally change my name to, “If you believe in Jesus, throw your ballot in the trash”. Then I will run for president.

 
 

Hoosier X said,
March 19, 2008 at 22:24

I’d rather have a president who has a crazy preacher than a president who IS a crazy preacher.

And, apparently, so do the Republicans.

As D.L. Hughley said when asked to comment on Hillary shedding a few tears before the New Hampshire primary:

“Listen…I’d rather have a President who cried than a President who made me cry!!”

 
 

Principal Blackman said,
March 19, 2008 at 19:08

Speaking of Malkin….

Yes, now that you mention it……speaking of Miss MaltedMilk™, this my favorite clip of her…evah!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y9vadcdgzjI&feature=related

(everytime I watch it, I can just see the O’Reilly producers groaning and smacking their heads against the closed circuit monitor…..she makes O’Reilly look positively ‘Murrow-esque’)

 
 

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