Come Mr. Taliban, Tally Me Banana
You can say what you want about John McCain, but we like to think of him as a maverick.
McCain flags new attack on Taliban drugs trade
Efforts to slow Taliban poppy production are not working, allowing heroin to flood the streets of Europe, Republican presidential nominee John McCain has warned.
Senator McCain signalled that he would use the first months of his presidency to overhaul NATO tactics to prevent Taliban warlords cashing in on the drugs trade.
See, that’s interesting, because actually a lot of what’s happening is…
Bucking U.S., Afghanistan won’t spray heroin
KABUL, Afghanistan – Rebuffing months of U.S. pressure, President Hamid Karzai has decided Afghanistan will not implement a Colombia-style program to spray the country’s heroin-producing poppies, bowing to pressure from top Cabinet members who feared a popular backlash, officials said Thursday.
The decision dashes U.S. hopes that herbicide sprayed by ground applicators would help combat Afghanistan’s opium trade after a record crop in 2006.
[…]
[O]pium production from poppies in Afghanistan last year rose 49 percent to 6,700 tons — enough to make about 670 tons of heroin. That’s more than 90 percent of the world’s supply and more than the world’s addicts consume in a year.
Because, there’s also the…
Karzai’s Brother Under Drug Suspicion
But Karzai’s latest troubles are closer to home in nature: They center around allegations that one of his brothers is involved in drug trafficking. His younger brother Ahmed Wali Karzai is influential among the Popalzai, a Pashtun clan, in Karzai’s home province of Kandahar and is the chairman of the provincial council. It is believed the Ahmed Wali is also the head of a group involved in opium and heroin trafficking that smuggles drugs to the West through Iran and Turkey. Sources in security circles claim that he provides protection for drug transports in southern Afghanistan.
And:
Afghan anti-corruption chief is a convicted heroin trafficker
When the deal went down in Las Vegas, the seller was introduced only as “Mr. E.” In a room at Caesars Palace hotel, Mr. E exchanged a pound-and-a-half bag of heroin for $65,000 cash — unaware that the buyer was an undercover detective. The sting landed him in Nevada state prison for nearly four years.
Twenty years later and Mr. E, whose real name is Izzatullah Wasifi, has a new job. He is the government of Afghanistan’s anti-corruption chief.
Meanwhile, year in and year out, there’s been this odd reluctance, even dare one say a connivance, against doing anything that…
U.S. Plans Assault On Afghan Heroin
[…]
“The key to success there is not turning this into a military mission for the Americans,” Douglas J. Feith, the Pentagon’s chief policy official, said in an interview. “It’s the Afghan government trying to enforce its own laws, and what we’re interested in doing is building up their capacity so they could do it.”
But McCain has a plan for these chemicals of mass destruction:
“We need to look at what’s working and at what isn’t working,” he said. “There is the issue of the poppy crops; that’s not working. And there’s corruption; that’s something we need to fix.”
See, you can have your Clintons and your Obamas, with their talk of ‘engaging our enemies’ and all that drippy, do-nothing bushwah. McCain is just the rock-ribbed type of man to launch a military invasion of a foreign country, if nothing else seems to crack the walnut. Afghanistan, your day may soon come!
Maybe he could get the British to go in with us.
…Okay, stop us if we’re getting goofy, but could it not be conceptualized as something in the nature of a war against illicit pharmaceuticals, or ‘on drugs,’ as it were? Who could be against such a thing besides the, you know, liberals and the Ron Paul brigade?
The solution is to get all of the people who are profiting from the opium trade into a room together, and tell them to knock it off.
And then bomb the room.
And then bomb Iran, just in case.
“We need to look at what’s working and at what isn’t working,”
This has been another episode of ‘Deep Thoughts’ with Maverick McCain
“Need to fix.” Yuck yuck.
When asked whether domestic demand for opiate drugs was connected in any way to poppy production in Afghanistan, Cindy McCain refused to comment.
Actually, unless I was in an opium haze, I thought we wanted the Afghans to grow poppies for the pharmaceutical industry. You know, THAT drug trade. The idea being that they can make some money legitimately doing what they know.
I’m sure I heard that not too long ago on some sound bite or other..
More mavericking from McCain. On our staying in Afghanistan:
An on Iran:
Maverick’s ain’t got nothing on the big, wild wave we’ll be riding if this guy is elected.
America’s last eradication program in Afghanistan cost so much that it actually would have been cheaper to buy all the fields.
Maybe we can get a good price in this market.
Caveat: that idea was mooted around mostly the lefty blogosphere a few years back when people started realizing that opium was one of the few cash crops in Afghanistan. Unfortunately and predictably, the Bush administration was having none of it: the pharmaceutical companies were happy with their current suppliers, and we promptly put a bunch of veterans of our Columbia engagement in charge of “poppy eradication” in Afghanistan. Because, presumably, they did such a bang-up job stopping coca production in Columbia.
I’d laugh, but I’m too busy screaming.
I say we requisition one of Saddam’s Anthrax UAV’s fly into to orbit and nuke ’em with leftover Paraquat from the Hippie wars last century.
http://bp1.blogger.com/_QPUSVZNU_NU/R99AkecvwzI/AAAAAAAAAd8/GE-hgoCyTu4/s1600-h/34294.jpg
poppies?
I think they call him “Maverick” because he loses planes.
What Afghanistan needs is some sort of rigid, encompassing, moral-absolute government, with the authority and stomach to really crack down hard on illegal and unethical behavior….
…oh fuck.
Cowalker, the people at your link could use some spell check and proof readers. Also, I’m willing to spot him #4, since that wasn’t really his fault.
But it does raise a point that’s been sitting in my mind for a few weeks. John McCain was a prisoner. John McCain was tortured. Now, John McCain supports harsh interrogation techniques, as he says they are effective in gathering information from prisoners.
How many Americans were killed because of what John McCain told the North Vietnamese?
Oh holy fricaseed farkwart. The US could buy the entire crop from the farmers for less than the annual advertising budget for Viagra.
(sigh) When the only tool in your toolbox is a
hammerBush . . .Efforts to slow Taliban poppy production are not working, allowing heroin to flood the streets of Europe, Republican presidential nominee John McCain has warned.
And what efforts would those be? Significantly reducing US forces in Afghanistan, brushing off finding bin Laden, and invading Iraq. Herculean to be sure.
The British may not go with you; but the Aussies would send a division to Mars if America said they were invading.
I’d say it’s the beer, but I’m a Canuck so that excuse is out…
Clearly the man to beat McCain is the guy whose pastor says that Israel executed 9/11
And then there was Afghanistan. The only thing missing there is
fierce local resistance hardened by earlier war against previous foreign occupyiersoopscharismatic resistance leader with wispy beardoopspro-US leader whose power barely extends beyond suburbs of capitaloopsenemy safe havens just across border in neighboring countryoopsannual spring offensivesoopsdrugsoopsa decade of U.S. govt lies and rosy projections that bear no relation to realityao-dai’s. That’s it! The lovely long slit skirts traditionally worn by women in southeast Asia. By god, we haven’t seen any of THOSE in Kabul.So there. Afghanistan is NOT another Vietnam.
So there. Afghanistan is NOT another Vietnam.
Yeah! Bush was just waxing on about how cool Afghanistan is and how much he wants to get into the fray. We know in Vietnam he got as far away from it as possible.
Of course, if the US were to buy the entire fucking crop, it would piss off the manufacturers of (patent-protected) synthetic opioids. And make Cindy McCain think it was Christmas, Thanksgiving, her birthday and the fourth of July rolled into one warm, heavy celebration.
BTW, it’s Colombia, not Columbia, when you refer to the South American country. Just one of my pet peeves.
So, when did Gary learn about sarcasm? I actually laughed, but that could be the booze.
ERADICATING DRUGS:
YR DOIN IT WRONG!
omg! corruption is bad! he really is a maverick!
btw i don’t know if you guys take suggestions, but the freepers are at each others’ throats about the debunked (OR WUZ IT??) newsmax article/kristol editorial re: obama attending racist sermons, and it’s hilarious:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1986607/posts?q=1&;page=351
I’m sure I heard that not too long ago on some sound bite or other.
Chris ‘Im mental, me’ Hitch has been banging on about it on and off too.
would overhaul NATO tactics to prevent Taliban warlords cashing in on the drugs trade.
The actual key phrase there is about overhauling NATO not anything to do with heroin whatsoever. There’s some pretty scary position papers that have been linked about what our fearless lunatic leaders want to do w/r/t NATO.
Speaking to the heroin though, what’s missing in this article and all related ones is just how in the hell there ARE Taliban warlords still around to profit from heroin or anything else. Who is asking THAT question?
And I’m mighty “curious” exactly which little fake statelet with a “capital” of Pristina is moving all that heroin from the dusty steppes of Afghanistan to the streets of Europe.
Dear Pappy Bush – your whole New World Order sucks for us regular people!
From what i saw in a depressing documentary recently about British troops in Helmand Province, NATO forces were turning a blind eye to the large scale poppy plantations there. The reason behind this was that it was the only product bringing cash into the region’s economy and it needs some kind of economy if it is to progress. Clever plans about providing farmers with alternative crops don’t really work when the mortars and machine-guns are a more pressing problem.
Karzai controls what, a fourth of the country? Give me a break. He could not order a new highway let alone a complete change of the culture.
I’ve looked into Karzai’s eyes and let me tell you, kar-kar is good folks. I trust him. He’s my friend.
Let’s see,
Gold at $1008.
Oil at $107
U.S. Dollar: 0.63 to the Euro
No, I don’t think I’m dreaming this.
If you don’t do anything else, use this tool to evaluate your bank/other financial institution’s viability:
http://www.thestreet.com/screener/index.html?src=ratingsindex&tab=4
There are stories about possible bank runs in the U.S. in the mainstream media NOW (I’m too drunk to google, but have at it. I think there was one on CNN).
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/wall-street-fears-for-next-great-depression-796428.html
http://www.321gold.com/editorials/harris/harris031408.html
http://cryptogon.com/?p=2219
Do you really need more to understand that something is “going on?” If it has hit the mainstream, folks, then it IS happening. If nothing else, S/N denizens should understand the Hannity/Coulter axis’ skill at diverting the sheeple from what’s REALLY going on.
Jim Kunstler is always good (i.e. bad) for the NEWS:
http://jameshowardkunstler.typepad.com/clusterfuck_nation/2008/03/a-real-freak-ou.html
The Idleworm Irishman can keep you up to date on the impending COLLAPSE:
http://www.idleworm.com/
This guy’s book (Reinventing Collapse) is coming out in June, but I wonder if by then it will be TOO LATE:
http://cluborlov.blogspot.com/
By the way, just google “Dmitri Orlov” and “collapse” if you want to see American prospects vs. the old Soviet Union.
Don’t know if this guy/gal is a nut, but this seems like good general advice:
http://www.survivalblog.com/2008/03/letter_re_with_bank_runs_loomi.html
And, lastly, this guy is an a**hole, but his writing gives a pretty good indicator of how much compassion we Americans can expect in the not-too-distant-future (“way down in Deep 13”).
Like I said, “Happy Landings.”
And good luck, all.
Joe (Moxie is my cat, and a handsome fellow he is, too!)
So, when did Gary learn about sarcasm? I actually laughed, but that could be the booze.
Gotta be a fake Gary.
the Maverick said:
And there’s corruption; that’s something we need to fix.
Brilliant! It’s so simple nobody would ever expect it. I also hear he wants to fix the stock market by making it go up instead of down.
Er, the last link should be:
http://www.exile.ru/blog/detail.php?BLOG_ID=17818&AUTHOR_ID=
That’s “Vlad’s Daily Gloat.” And gloat they will, when the American shithouse collapses.
Don’t have anything to add, except maybe stock up on ammunition and Spam.
Rotsa Ruck,
Joe
One more thing to add, actually. Use the Firefox browser to access the banking link:
http://www.thestreet.com/screener/index.html?src=ratingsindex&tab=4
The other browsers don’t seem to work (at least on my machine).
Name the author! Winner gets to bask in McCain’s maverickness.
Chris Matthews? He’s the most fatuous of the media hero-worshippers–this sounds just like something he’d say.
If only it were more mealy-mouthed, I’d pick David “Wanker of the Day” Broder.
Excellent! Ao-zai’s and opium in the same thread, now that takes me back.
Good times man, good times.
Shorter John McCain: Nice little failing, war-torn economy ya got there, Hamid. Shame if anything happened to it…
McCain wants to relive the glory days of Vietnam and begin napalming large numbers of native brown folks. Just like old times.
-GSD
Try taking that cash crop away from Afghanistan’s farmers and watch them join up with the Taliban.
I’d say Peggy “La Loon” Noonan, but it’s not fey and disingenuous enough.
Hinderaker.
Actually you’re first hunch was right, HerrWunderbar. I also suspected a Noonan but was thinking Mark until teh google proved me wrong.
Thats thats what the people say
Flyboy is smarter than
“The Man”
In every way
Thats Right !
Flyboy is smarter
It ain’t me, it’s the people that say
The librouls are leading the righteous astray
But I say, it’s the flyboys today
Are smarter than “The Man” in every way
That’s right, the flyboys are smarter
That’s right, the flyboys are smarter
That’s right, the flyboys are smarter
Smarter than “The Man” in every way
That’s right, the flyboys are smarter
That’s right, the flyboys are smarter
That’s right, the flyboys are smarter
Smarter than “The Man” in every way
http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/the_scandal_of_olivia_newton/2
in firefox, use the find feature for ‘Gavin’
Busted!!
Still love the preview pane, its so cutting edge that its getting boring how no one else seems to notice ;-(
Harry Blafonte works for the Taliban?
Oh how the mighty have fallen…
“Robert M. said,
March 18, 2008 at 15:29
Shorter John McCain: Nice little failing, war-torn economy ya got there, Hamid. Shame if anything happened to it…”
Are you SURE it would be McCain saying it to Karzai? Because, I could imagine it being said the otherway around too.
Robert Palmers take on the who is leading the pepple astray
There were liberties taken
Mistakes were appearin’
ready (redy) made
and we blundered on
when the dern fool
I’m sayin’
But the big fool said to push on
t4toby said,
Harry Belafonte works for the Taliban?
Um, duh. He criticized Bush that time. Clearly a terrorist.
It’s a crying shame that the poor farmers in Afghanistan are pretty much forced to grow opium poppies to make a living.
Hashish isn’t addictive and won’t kill you, and I have no doubt that the Eastern seaboard of the US could consume the entirety of their yearly output. If it weren’t for the War on Drugs, Afghanistan might be a happenin’ place.
I know! I know! Let’s produce a movie called “Afghanistani Gangster” about the Superfly of the Khyber Pass, and fund the drug war with that! Dibs on the Russell Crowe role.
If only Senator McCain would take a few moments to run this situation by the President, he would explain to the Senator that those poor Afghan farmers are simply growing the poppies so they could put food on their families!!
Fair enough, but McCain’s not just going to fix corruption, burn all the opium fields in Afghanistan and sit people down and bang some heads together to fix the problems, he’s also concerned about Iran’s influence in Iraq and the Middle East.
He’s a major player down at the cracker factory.
“Cracker” McCain.
I like it.
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch!
Doctor Memory,
I’d read that from the summer of 2000 when the taliban consolidated control of Afghanistan to the summer of 2001 the Afghan poppie crop HAD been largely eradicated. The yeld was about 470 tons down from about 4500 tons the year before (the Taliban is a bunch of religious whackjobs remember). Anyway, that fall 9-11 happened and by the end of the year America was making it’s presence felt in Afghanistan. Now six years later they’re producing more than ever. Sounds like the DEA is doing the same bang-up job in Afghanistan that you mentioned about Columbia.
The New Yorker had a good article on the problem of eradicating opium poppies in Afghanistan. Basically, the farmers keep shooting the “private military contractors” whom we hire to destroy the fields.
Meanwhile, there’s a worldwide shortage of morphine. Too bad there’s no solution to that problem, but hopefully we can get back to poisoning all these flowers!
I honestly never thought Sadly No would ever write something that echoes my own sentiments, but it’s a funny world.
The Maverick
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2008
http://www.drblt.net/music/MaverickDemo2.mp3
Around the last sixth of this piece it sounds like you’re cleaning some cellophane.
I was probably blowing my nose. I had a bad cold the day I recorded this.