Different Author, Same Argument, Same Suck
The first instance we saw of the whole “Obama’s all hope and no meat” line was from our good friend Charles “Chuckles” Krauthammer:
And now, in the most amazing trick of all, a silver-tongued freshman senator has found a way to sell hope. […] Organized religion has been offering a similar commodity — salvation — for millennia. Which is why the Obama campaign has the feel of a religious revival […] “We are the hope of the future,” sayeth Obama. We can “remake this world as it should be.” Believe in me and I shall redeem not just you but your country […] Hope will have carried the day. […] Promises to fund his other promises by a rapid withdrawal from an unpopular war — with the hope […] My guess is that he can maintain the spell just past Inauguration Day. After which will come the awakening. It will be rude.
It should probably come as no surprise that David “Lobster Dinner” Brooks follows up with exactly the same thing a mere four days later:
When the Magic Fades […] These patients had experienced intense surges of hope-amine, the brain chemical that fuels euphoric sensations of historic change and personal salvation. But they found that as the weeks went on, they needed more and purer hope-injections just to preserve the rush. They wound up craving more hope than even the Hope Pope could provide, and they began experiencing brooding moments of suboptimal hopefulness. […] Up until now The Chosen One’s speeches had seemed to them less like stretches of words and more like soul sensations that transcended time and space. […] They know that most of his hope-mongering is vaporous. They know that he knows it’s vaporous.
The “original” parts of Brooks’ article are, surprisingly (we keed, we keed!), crap:
If he values independent thinking, why is his the most predictable liberal vote in the Senate?
Well, not exactly. Obama’s voting record in 2007 ranked him the most liberal (true), but he was ranked 16th in 2005 and 10th in 2006. [Brooks might also have benefited from reading Media Matters last week.] If David had asked us, we would have told him a good writer, (as opposed to a partisan hack), would specify what time frame he was referring when making his blanket statement. And someone interested in an actual argument would likely have looked beyond a ranking system that has problems:
How reliable are the NJ scores? Because of the selective character of the NJ rating system and the unevenness of senators’ participation, we should compare the NJ ranking to the 2007 ideological rankings produced by Keith Poole and Howard Rosenthal— developers of the widely-used NOMINATE scores. Using all non-unanimous votes and a far more complicated computational algorithm, Poole and Rosenthal’s 2007 scaling places Obama as the 10th most liberal senator, with senators such as Russ Feingold, Ted Kennedy, Chris Dodd, and Joe Biden to Obama’s left.
But David wouldn’t be David if, after complaining that Obama is too predictable and not independent enough, follows up with this:
The Gang of 14 created bipartisan unity on judges, but Obama sat it out. Kennedy and McCain created a bipartisan deal on immigration. Obama opted out of the parts that displeased the unions. Sixty-eight senators supported a bipartisan deal on FISA. Obama voted no.
It must be great living in a world where agreeing with “the unions” can be assumed to be a bad thing — because everyone knows unions are teh suck, of course. Anything else about Obama?
A People for the American Way computer program would cast the same votes for cheaper.
We don’t know if Charles Krauthammer is cheaper than David Brooks, but the Krauthammer2000 is obviously a good predictor of the crap coming out of Brooks’ computer. Maybe he should visit a factory for once.
If you take the Krauthammer2000, the Baroney-o-Pundit 2.0, the DeanBroderBot, and the e-Bobo, leave them turned on a room, and then go away for a lengthy period of time, do they eventually create columns that aren’t ridiculous ad hoc nonsense?
do they eventually create columns that aren’t ridiculous ad hoc nonsense?
Sadly, no.
I believe Brooks is arguing that we should ignore our lying senses of a competent, un-corrupt and peaceful government and accept the cliff that his idological ilk have steered this country toward.
Or he’s a moron.
Aw shit, David Brooks picked the wrong week to plagiarize. Hillary will fuck him up.
“These patients had experienced intense surges of hope-amine, the brain chemical that fuels euphoric sensations of historic change and personal salvation.”
A desire for a brighter is future is, indeed, the same as the desire of a crack-addled mental patient shooting up between his toes. Accept your plutocracy, suckers.
Hey, fellas, did Obama tell 953 lies and waste thousands of lives and trillions of dollars?
… do they eventually create columns that aren’t ridiculous ad hoc nonsense?
Something, something, something, 10000 monkeys in a room with 10000 typewriters.
Perhaps they need a higher head count with more Big Cheif writing tablets.
Michelle “Cynthia McKinney” Obama reveals her shame towards America:
“For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country, because it feels like hope is making a comeback.” (Source)
The fact is that Michelle Obama was ashamed of America on 9/11. As firefighters defied death to save innocents, she was ashamed of them. She was ashamed of America when the Cold War ended. She was ashamed of America as she went through Ivy League colleges.
Tells you what you need to know about Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama is Cynthia McKinney with a better PR person.
But at least Barack Hussein Obama had a good childhood:
Obama: Raised as a Muslim, grown up to be a Black Nationalist who hates his nation.
America-loving War Hero John McCain will bury Barry Hussein Obama.
Little Hitlermallet certainly knows something about rude awakenings. He has one of them every day. Roll on, Nazisledge, roll on…
America-loving War Hero John McCain will bury Barry Hussein Obama.
Kinda reminds me of your mid-term election predictions that the GOP would hold on to the House and Senate.
Obama: Raised as a Muslim, grown up to be a Black Nationalist who hates his nation.
Have you ever considered picking up a drug habit? Some psychoactives might really help you even out…
Mr McBobo versus IRAQ HUSSEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! OSAMA!
“The fact is that Michelle Obama was ashamed of America on 9/11…”
Or she was being hyperbolic. But insulting, unsupportable attacks on her patriotism are probably the more accurate.
Why wouldn’t she be proud of America after 9/11?
Does she think that 9/11 was an inside job?
“Does she think that 9/11 was an inside job?”
No, she wants to make the next 9/11 an inside job because Barack Osama Hussein Jihad Obama is a one-man islamofascist sleeper cell because his name sounds Muslim or something.
This Brooks offering features something you just don’t get with your garden variety right-wing pundit: the writer’s sparkling sense of humor. With tongue firmly in cheek, Brooks skewers the fads and the foibles, the sense and the nonsense, the…the pizzazz and the pizzas…the, uh..
I can’t do it. This clown’s “wit” is not only not funny, it’s anti-funny. It absorbs and neutralizes any ambient humor in the vicinity.
“hope-amine.” I read it and I lose the will to mock.
Brooks is to the contemporary sensibility as Pat Boone was to the rock ‘n’ roll sensibility. He can talk to the kids! Without being a weirdo and all.
If he’s a liberal senator and votes liberal, how about proving it’s a BAD IDEA to do that instead of criticizing the fact his voting might be predictable.
Hell I predictably vote for what I believe is best for my country. Am I supposed to show my independence by doing something stupid?
Wait, this is Brooks.
Why wouldn’t she be proud of America after 9/11?
Well, I’m sure she was. Everyone was. I mean, I wasn’t, but I’m one of those village atheist types. I thought we went freaking apeshit and responded in a way that was totally out of proportion to the circumstances. If we had kept our heads, we could have made the world a little safer and more just for everyone. Instead we fucked things up even more than the terrorists did.
I do think that Barack Obama does give us something to be proud of. No, he isn’t Christ returned to cut the crusts off our sandwiches, but he is a black man with a Muslim-sounding name and despite all the bigots like Gary, he might just be president. I may have underestimated us just a little.
Is one of you clowns sockpuppeting as a Limbecile?
Brooks: bring out the gimp!
.
emphasize the English word “praying” in the Indonesian language
Indonesian language, eh, Gary? Which one? Malay? Javanese? Sundanese?
Or do you think they’re Arabs there?
Why wouldn’t she be proud of America after 9/11?
Oh, let’s see. ‘Cause a handful of religious whackjobs managed to pull off the biggest attack since pearl harbor and nobody was willing to even TRY to prevent it?
Or maybe because ground zero was still smoldering when the racist hatred and jingoistic brutality came out in force?
Or could it have been the transparent self-serving venality that informed the response?
I know. Probably the torches and pitchforks cries of “TRAITOR” and “TREASON” we heard bubbling up before the sun rose on 9/13? The rabid, hate-fueled reaction to Bill Maher and anyone else who had the temerity to suggest the attackers MIGHT have believed they had a fucking reason to end their lives in that fashion.
I hate to be a credulous idiot, but that needed some response…
mikey
RedState is freaking out that McCain chose “Take a chance on me” by ABBA as his theme song.
http://www.redstate.com/stories/elections/2008/mccains_campaign_theme_song
Its true, because the only real qualification for being president is being a big hairy greasy manly man. His theme song shold be audio of himself snapping the necks of woodland creatures so that all of his comrades in the 101st Chairborne would finally respect his service in Vietnam. USA! USA! USA!
Ok, but seriously, ABBA? What the fuck was he thinking?
Why wouldn’t she be proud of America after 9/11?
I surely wasn’t proud of the guy who kept on reading “The Pet Goat” and then ran away.
I totally had the idea first for the SlawSledge2k.
SN! needs to step off.
Or could it have been…..
mikey, it could have been the boneheads who beat and murdered innocent Singh gas station owners, because they wore turbans.
sorry, I meant Sikh. Although they were probably named Singh, anyway.
Leaf Broozk aloan. He jus figgered out hwo to youz a cumpewter. He kan haz lotz o mitsakes.
In Brooks’s world, an “independent thinker” is a liberal who deviates from liberal orthodoxy. Because, as we all know, the only real insurgents in politics are those who courageously rebel against those liberals who control everything. I wonder if he has ever criticized a Republican who votes Republican every time the same way? I’m not holding my breath. And I just love how he equates opposing the FISA bill, and thus the destruction of the constitution, with lack of courage and principle.
Gary’s current contract with Netvocates pays him for replying to the responses to his
burning bag of dog-poo on the doorsteporiginal comment, as well as for the comment itself. Hence the greater level of interaction these days.Ok, but seriously, ABBA? What the fuck was he thinking?
He’s got so much that he wants to do when he dreams he’s alone with you.
IT’S MAGIC.
You know, maybe Rob Port had a point: if I ever see any of these guys, I’m hucking my laptop at them, pronto. Sure, it’ll hurt to lose old Bessie here, but if I can save a single innocent brain cell it would be worth it.
David Brooks is neither stupid nor incompetent. He is simply one of the most glibly dishonest human beings on the face of the planet.
Among my circle of friends, his effortful determination to lay out a series of facts and come to a conclusion diametrically opposed to those facts while maintaining a smiling, reasonable-seeming demeanor has earned him the title “Pundit Most Likely to Snap and Murder His Own Wife and Children.”
John McCain/Larry Craig 2008.
Take a chance, tap your toes.
-GSD
When I think of John McCain the only band that comes to mind is The Pet Shop Boys.
What have I done to deserve this?
Doesn’t anyone at the helm see the iceberg straight ahead?
-GSD
Barack Obama is an America hating muslim, who maybe just maybe might be a terrorist sleeper.
How about the fact that he doesn’t wear a flag lapel pin or the fact that he doesn’t believe in putting his hand on his breast during the Pledge of Allegience?
That spells an America hater to me my friends.
“Doesn’t anyone at the helm see the iceberg straight ahead?”
That’s not an iceberg, GSD. It’s a magical floating Jesus boat where there are no brown people or taxes. Full speed ahead.
WTF, “St.James”?
Where do you come up with this stuff? Really, how is getting elected President going to be a terrorist sleeper job? He’ll get elected President, then kill himself? How exactly is that supposed to work? Is he going to declare sharia law? He could do that, you know, ’cause Bush set the example.
Can’t you go somewhere else and earn your micropayments?
The fact is, anti-business class warfare doesn’t work in the United States. John Kerry tried this tack in 2004. He lost. Ditto for Al Gore in 2000. Ditto for Michael Dukakis in ’88, Walter Mondale in ’84, and Jimmy Carter in ’80. It looks like Hill-Bama is making the same mistake all over again in 2008.
Bill Clinton was a moderate on all this. But Hill-Bama can’t move to the left fast enough. Rest assured that Sen. McCain will hold them accountable for their primary-season populist rhetoric during the general election.
There are a lot of reasons why the anti-business message doesn’t work. One important reason is that 138 million Americans work for these corporations. Their livelihoods depend on businesses. 138 million is a big number. Think of it.
Don’t worry, stryx. Soon, the first of the month will roll around again and his house will be swimming in generic cheetos….and then the beast, sated, will sleep. For a day or two.
Goddam.
Outnumbered by sockpuppets and parody trolls.
Where do I go to surrender?
mikey
How about the fact that he doesn’t wear a flag lapel pin
Wow, that’s brilliant of you! Have you thought of contacting the FBI, maybe they could add this to their profiling? I be they’ve never thought of THAT!
or the fact that he doesn’t believe in putting his hand on his breast during the Pledge of Allegience?
Already debunked. Sorry, you’ve been disqualified. But thank you for playing!
The fact is, you liberals keep talking about Bush “lies”, but I challenge any of you to prove anything he said was a lie.
I’m waiting…
I’m waiting…
Ok, wait right there. Don’t move, I’ll be right back.
I’m waiting…
Don’t go *anywhere* or you might miss the revealing.
me too, brb, hang around Gary.
Now that the tyrant Fidel Castro has resigned hopefully the Cuban people will rise up and demand democracy like our Minute Men did over 200 years ago.
Then Cuba will be our ally once again and the free market reforms will bring their struggling economy out of third world status and their people will experience freedom and democracy just like Columbia under our ally the Conservative Alvaro Uribe.
Y’know, this really IS getting a tad, well, stupid…
mikey
The fact is, Chris is right. We can only trust allies of ours who are conservatives. All the leftists are wackos who do classwar and hate on business and freedom.
Exactly Gary, the leftist hordes are causing the downfall of Western Civilization with their vicious attacks on Judeo-Christianity, Patriotism and Capitalism.
Hey, fellas, did Obama tell 953 lies and waste thousands of lives and trillions of dollars?
No, but on the other hand Brooks hasnt been invited to any Obama cocktail parties, thus proving that Obama he is totally unfit for office.
g — All Sikhs are Singhs, but not all Singhs are Sikhs!
I agree with everything Gary and Chris, who are both totally heterosexual and manly, have said in this and every other thread.
I have never seen more intelligent commentary in a thread. You guys keep rockin old school!
I love this line of attack.
A lot of people like Obama, including loads of independents and even some registered Republicans, and dismissing those voters as idiots, addicts or cultists probably isn’t going to endear them to your cause.
But what do I know? I disagreed with these guys when they predicted Iraq would be a cakewalk, and they were right then too.
The fact is, I’m gay. There, I said it.
just like Columbia under our ally the Conservative Alvaro Uribe.a
Dude, you don’t know fucking shit. First, it’s COLOMBIA. I lived there for three months last year and my inlaws are still living in Bogotá. Uribe isn’t a conservative, he’s from the Liberal Party and he was elected by a coalition of the working poor and the middle classes. Rich people hate him. He makes John Edwards look like a capitalist pig. He has opened free health care clinics all over the country fro the poor, raised taxes on the rich, and guaranteed an affordable college education to anyone who can pass the exams. You know what else? It has worked. It has turned the country around.
The fact is, you liberals keep talking about Bush lies, but I challenge any of third world status and freedom. Now that 138 million Americans work in ’84, and their vicious attacks on 9/11. As firefighters defied death to be a Black Nationalist who do classwar and hate on businesses. 138 million is an inside job? Michelle Obama is an America hater to save innocents, she was ashamed of you need to know about Bush lies, but I challenge any of Western Civilization with their primary-season populist rhetoric during the free market reforms will bury Barry Hussein Obama. Exactly Gary, the leftists are a moderate on his breast during the anti-business class warfare doesn’ t work in ’80. It looks like Columbia under our Minute Men did over again in ’80.
As a gay liberal Obamabot and Islamofascist mole who was just biding my time till Obama/Osama is elected to bring down the wrath of Allah on all you manly heterosexual Judaeo-Christians and ravish all your virgins, I am devastated to have been unmasked by those bold warriors for America, Gary Ruppert and Chris St. James.
*whimper*
Today’s my day! I’ve been waiting almost 50 years for this.
Exactly Gary, the general election. There are causing the general election.
There are causing the United States. John McCain will experience freedom and Jimmy Carter in ’80. It looks like our Minute Men did over 200 years ago. Then Cuba will hold them accountable for these corporations. Their livelihoods depend on Judeo-Christianity, Patriotism and demand democracy just maybe just maybe might be proud of Allegience? That spells an America hating muslim, who hates his hand on Judeo-Christianity, Patriotism and freedom. Now that Michelle Obama. Exactly Gary, the general election.
Bubba, how do you make Gary sound sane and almost coherent like that?
I agree with Gary St. JanusNode. He puts thing much more clearer than liberals who hate America, Freedom, God, and Roger Clemens.
*waaah!*
I think I need to go straight and join the Army to go fight the Islamofascists in Iraq, instead, now that I have found Jesus thanks to the straight-thinking, manly, Christian conservative paragons posting here. I was wallowing in sin and liberalism, but thanks to the various Garys and Rupperts and Saints, I am free at last. I’m going to go kill me some terrorists! Thanks, guys! You’ve done your bit for Western Civilization today! I can’t wait till the recruiters open!
Gary St.Janusnode is Teh Best Troll, EvAr!!!1!
I like that St James is agreeing with fakeGary. Comedy Gold.
They should just get their own thread.
No, that might be disastrous! Little Gary Saul St. Boogers running everywhere?
Like Donkey and the dragon’s kids in Shrek 2 through 11.
Crossed with Chuckie.
The Colombian Liberal Party currently forms part of the opposition, as the Uribe administration’s policies are too right-wing for its liking.
The fact is, it is liberal bias to namesteal me. I am a paragon of conservative virtue, and not a homosexual. By the way, homosexuals will not fare well if your friends the muslims institute shania law.
Oh, go on fakeGary, with you Shania Law and you Sharia Twain.
You’re such a kidder!
The fact is, the free market used to provide fire protection. It worked. Time to go back to that. Never time to go toward socialism health care, or we’ll get like Canada and other holes where you have to wait years to see your Dr. and die before you can.
I think it’s cute how ‘Gary’ and ‘Chris’ refer to ‘each other’ like they’re totally separate people.
You are slipping, though. You need to bring up THE HEARTLAND more, and issue some death threats.
It is sweet that you care so much about us that you don’t want us to elect a President who will round up the Gay Angry Party and put us in camps. Really, it warms my heart.
Now go spam Atrios or somebody.
Gary St. JanusNode is making sense!
I saw Gay Angry Party at the Moore in ’05.
It reminded me of when I saw Erasure open up for Duran Duran except much, much angrier.
Barack Hussein Obama was ashamed of Allegience? That spells an inside job? Barack Obama had a good childhood: In the general election. There are causing the leftists are conservatives. All the way, homosexuals will bring their struggling economy out the leftists are conservatives. All the second part of America when the leftists are causing the Cuban people will bring their vicious attacks on business and other holes where he doesn’t believe in 2008. Bill Clinton was ashamed of conservative virtue, and demand democracy just like Canada and freedom. Exactly Gary, the Conservative Alvaro Uribe. The fact that 9/11 was a flag lapel pin or the video, Zulfan Adi, a thread. You guys keep rockin old school!
I’d like to see Gay Rupert argue with James St. If the boring didn’t crush me to a pulp. A bored pulp.
All Sikhs are Singhs, but not all Singhs are Sikhs!
I dig me some Kaurs: don’t they count?
The Colombian Liberal Party currently forms part of the opposition, as the Uribe administration’s policies are too right-wing for its liking.
Uribe is no Hugo Chavez, or Evo Morales, or Lulu da Silva, that is for sure. He is more like a Colombian Bill Clinton or a Tony Blair. The Liberal Party leadership has split with him, especially over his embrace of free trade and his cooperation with the IMF and the World Bank. He also angered many people by having the Constitution ammended to allow him to run for a second term. He controls a minority of the Liberal Party, but a majority of Liberal members of Congress, which has caused a lot of destructive bickering.
However, he did win a three-way election with 62% of the vote and he usually polls between 70-80% approval, so he must be doing something for ordinary people. He has done a lot to improve social programs and expand access to them, in addition to turning the security situation around. In a Latin American context he is center-left, but in the US he would be well to the left of Obama or Clinton. To pretend that he is some South American George W. Bush, like Gary was trying to do is just absurd.
All Sikhs are Singhs, but not all Singhs are Sikhs!
“I dig me some Kaurs: don’t they count?”
Don’t they have a Singh in there somewhere, too?
If not, I stand corrected, and may just have to switch back to being a gay liberal Islamofascist.
*I’m so confused!*
By the way, are gay liberal Islamofascists allowed to drink alcohol?
By the way, are gay liberal Islamofascists allowed to drink alcohol?
Only when they are stoning their women for dressing too modestly and not being lesbians.
The fact is, if sleeper North Vietnamese ChiCommie John McCain is elected preznident, he will replace the Star Spangled Banner with Abba’s Dancing Queen.
Björk Guðmundsdóttir will be made Chairman of The Department of Homeland Culture and Lutefisk.
Joe Lieberman will become Chairman of the Department of Music Video.
The list goes on.
A Wikipedia entry:
A Sikh man almost always bears the surname of Singh, which means ‘lion’, in Punjabi and a Sikh woman can be identified with a second name of Kaur, which means ‘princess’.
Shorter McCain: Take a Chance on Me
Gary is still an octaroon. I double checked today.
That milkshake video yesterday was only 12.5% chocolate. 100% funky though.
No, Uribe is not center-left on a Latin American political spectrum. Bachelet and Vázquez are center-left. Uribe is center-right on social and economic issues and radical right on security issues.
You get your ass home now, Grampa, you’ve got a well deserved ass whooping coming and you know it!
Hell I like it.
Sure.
Take a chance on John McCain, angry war loving head case.
Hey, what could go wrong?
mikey
The fart is, I has a dustbin.
Give McCain credit for not using The Tiger.
I dunno. I think McCain’s song choice is pretty apropos:
If you change your mind, I’m the first in line
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
And who could forget the stirring climax?
ba ba ba ba baaa, ba ba ba ba ba ba baaa
Sheeps?
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I can’t let go
John McCain Stalks America: Day ????
DON’T DO IT, ITTDGY!
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
down well trodden corridors, into the valley of steel.
John McCain tries, but misunderstands….
aaaaaaaaaOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
That sheep isn’t stupid, it’s a whore. It knows exactly what it is doing, standing there with it’s legs apart and it’s tail slightly aloft. I can’t believe that people fall for that. I like lamb, but not ethnic food. What was that Jewish musical, the one with all the singing? I forget which one. Hillary Clinton would never appoint a Jew as vice president.
Now that’s my Ann. You go, um. Girl.
That’s a pretty awesome Ann Althouse right there. I’d like to see a few other models before I buy, but can I have your card?
Ok, but seriously, ABBA? What the fuck was he thinking?
Really. The Erasure cover version is much better.
Please, RB, you are the master. We mortals can only pay our tribute.
Gary —
?? ???? ????
Sweet Jeebus, I missed this the first time around:
138 million is a big number. Think of it.
Thus quothe Gary of the Ruppperts.
Björk Guðmundsdóttir will be made Chairman of The Department of Homeland Culture and Lutefisk.
Sweet Jesus! Wolf Blitzer will die trying to stammer out that name. Jack Cafferty will look on and laugh and laugh and laugh.
ba ba ba ba baaa, ba ba ba ba ba ba baaa
ba ba ba bomb Iran….
Hey, can you get the Greasemonkey script to work with JanusNode?
‘cuz that would be some awesome, right there.
Wolf Blitzer will die trying to stammer out that name.
I’d pay money to see Brokaw try it. His tongue would crawl out of his mouth and strangle him.
Hey, can you get the Greasemonkey script to work with JanusNode?
I’m busy:
Hello gang. My frog just died.
Hello gang. My marten just died.
Hi gang. My rabbit just died.
Hello gang. My chameleon just died.
Hi all. My hartebeest just died.
Hey all. My musk-ox just died.
Hey gang. My ram just died.
Hi there. My springbok just died.
Hey. My raccoon just died.
Hey. My lion just died.
Hi there. My badger just died.
Hey. My seal just died.
Hey gang. My chinchilla just died.
Hey there. My ox just died.
Hello friends. My sheep just died.
Hi friends. My dingo just died.
Hey gang. My wolverine just died.
Hi all. My chinchilla just died.
Hey friends. My deer just died.
Hey all. My chipmunk just died.
Hi there. My moose just died.
Hey all. My jaguar just died. He was omnipotent and awful.
Hey gang? My chinchilla just died. He was ecstatic and fictitious.
Hello friends? My roebuck just died. He was tasty and dark.
Hey? My mule just died. He was tearful and articulate.
Hey… My ferret just died. He was dangerous and bloodthirsty.
Hello there… My ermine just died. He was berserk and misogynic.
Hi all… My guanaco just died. She was humanitarian and potential.
Hi there. My pig just died. He was imaginary and strong.
Hello friends? My musk-ox just died. He was parental and pitiful.
Hi gang? My elk just died. He was pleasant and complex.
138 million is a big number. Think of it.
Thus quothe Gary of the Ruppperts.
I recommend handling that number with forceps, and maybe giving it a good wash before examining it closely, since it’s still glistening with rectal mucus.
Let’s see… [sacrifices budgerigar to the Great Gazoogle]… Total US labor force = 144 million, plus about 7 mill unemployed [2006 estimate].
Gary would have you believe that there are only 6 million people in the US who are working but not for large corporations.
Hello friends. My sheep just died.
The Sudetenland must be protected.
Björk Guðmundsdóttir will be made Chairman of The Department of Homeland Culture and Lutefisk.
Phonetofascist WordPress does not do International Phonetic Alphabet symbols.
Now it’s time to play “Geyser” — a compilation of 1980s Icelandic independent music, with one track by Kukl (featuring Björk before she was famous). I cn hz strete kredabilitee?
Hey friends… My armadillo just died. She was lustful and earnest. I’m sure you know an armadillo requires betrayal but I had no betrayal left.
Righteous Bubba do you realize what you have done? You have developed synthetic trolls that are more clever, creative, and delightfully absurd than the originals! Gary, beware… your days are numbered.
There are many phrases I would use to describe the mental image of RB with a lustful armadillo, but “delightfully absurd” is not among them.
I’m sure you know an armadillo requires betrayal but I had no betrayal left.
What, all your other animals died?
My latest peccary just died strangely and with all the weird crap going on in the world a tender peccary story would make my day. Sometimes there’s just too much sad news, ya know?
Hey there… My jaguar just died. She was fiery and fictitious. I’m sure you know a jaguar demands strength but I had no strength left.
My latest wolverine just died appositely and with all the conspicuous garbage here an invigorating wolverine story would make my month.
My okapi just died carefully after nearly 7 minutes – she was the cancerous imaginary love of my sloppy life.
Hey there. My opossum just died. He was dying and villainous. I’m sure you know an opossum asks for addiction but I had no addiction left.
Hi all? My cat just died. She was pathological and egocentric. I’m sure you know a cat needs terror but I had no terror left.
My latest panther just died punishingly and with all the pure shit going on in this life an enticing despairing panther story would make my month. Sometimes there’s just too much sad news, ya know? I don’t know how she got stuck in that clear resin block.
RB, you had me at “hello”…
NOT THE PANTHER! NOOOOOOOOES!
I don’t know how she got stuck in that clear resin block.
yeah, they’ll do that if you aren’t careful
RB, that’s some beautiful work.
Keep it up. There’s whole JanusWorlds to explore.
Obama To-Do List
1. Support balanced budged
2. Make Iraq not suck
3. Forbid the use of torture on detainees
4. Have a clue
5. Cut the crusts off my sammitches
6. Water Into Wine Initiaitive
7. “A Pony In Every Garage”
8. Free trip to the moon
9. National Underwear Wednesdays
Goddammit!! I have to cross off another reason? Throw me a bone, here!
*pouts*
Poopy. Envision #5-#9 with strikethrough.
Ok.
Yep, that’s pretty good.
Should we tell the others?
Yeah, ABBA, good for McCain, but wrong song. Should be “Waterloo.”
“I feel like I win when I lose….”
Poopy: it’ll be our little secret.
P.S. You’re the shit!
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