It’s Like New Coke, But Better
I hereby dedicate this thread to coming up with honest campaign slogans that the Democratic party could actually use if they wanted to appeal to the “has actually been paying attention for the last decade” voting contingent. For example:
“Democrats: We’re marginally less likely to march the whole country down the slow road to actual fascism.”
“Vote Democratic! We’ll probably kill fewer brown people than the other guys. Maybe.”
“Democrats – for when your biggest hope for government is that they won’t use your tax dollars to violate the Nuremberg laws, the Geneva Conventions, and your own damn Constitution.”
“Isn’t it time you voted for change? Of course not! What are you, high?!? Vote Democratic this fall.”
“Democrats! Because the invertebrate community deserves representation, too.”
“If you believe democracy works, raise your hand. Now, get in the line for the exit visas to Canada. The rest of you, vote Democratic!”
Add your own in the comments.
Democratic Party: When You Like Freedom, But Aren’t All Like Like Over It.
Democrats: Like you have a choice anyway, so shut up and vote.
Vote democrat cause Canada doesn’t want us either and the dems have better Kool-aid.
Democrats: Because you want to believe there’s a difference.
Vote to block this November, just like you do every November.
Democrats: not just for Republicans anymore.
Vote Democrat 08! Like you’d want a Republican to listen up on your kids’ phone calls. Didn’t think so!
Vote Democrat: ’cause its just too damn cold in Canada.
or
Vote Democrat: we promise a tolken few of us will uphold your ideals (not enough to back a filibuster).
Americans, you may think you can defy the odds?
So did General Custer.
Seriously, the world wants to love you, Vote Democrat.
Democrats! We’re less shittier!
Less shittiest?
Uh ….
How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That’s not funny!
Wait. Isn’t that joke about … oh. Gotcha. I understand completely.
Yes. That’s not funny.
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded,
everybody rolls with their fingers crossed,
everybody knows that the war is over,
everybody knows that the good guys lost,
everybody knows that the fight was fixed,
the poor stay poor and the rich get rich,
That’s how it goes,
everybody knows . . .
If you’re ready for slightly less of the same, vote Democrat.
Democrats: Let us rearrange the deck chairs for a while
or
Democrats: We won’t fix things but we’ll give it a shiny coat of paint!
For fewer corpses, vote Democrat.
Democrats: They’ll steal less of your money than Republicans.
Vote Democrat: We both know you’re going to, anyway.
Vote Democrat 2008: Who knows when the next time we’re going to look so appealing will be?
Democratic Party: Same great taste of Republican Governing, but only half the Religion, and now just one Calorie!
Democratic 08: Because most of those guys stuck in Iraq were probably mean to you in high school, so why NOT make them stay there a few more decades?
Democrats: We’re like the TV’s Frank of the government.
Vote Democrat in 08: We swear to god, we’re not going to bring up Vietnam, this time!
Vote Democratic 08: Okay, no, seriously, give us the Presidency, and we’ll knuckle down and do what we told you we were going to two years ago. We just got sidetracked, is all. Have you SEEN the Senate Majority Bathroom? My god, it’s a like Versailles in there!
I was going around at work yesterday spouting “Obama: He Sucks Less!”
…
Vote Democratic: Afterwards, You Know Where to Find the Bourbon.
Very funny, but if I voted for Nader I am some sort of enemy of freedom and enabler of Bushco, unlike someone who voted Dem because the alternative is and…… um, what’s the difference again?
Elect Democrats in 2008: If you elect enough of us, we can’t use the excuse that there are too many Republicans.
Vote Democrat: All the Venality and Twice the Hypocrisy!
Vote Democrat. Yeah, we’ll probably keep having people tortured, but not as many as the other guys, and we’ll totally feel bad about it afterward, promise!
“The Democratic Party- Because Really, How Many of Those Constitutional Rights Do You Use in a Day?”
Vote Democrat… aw screw it! Just go to Mexico! At this point, Mexico is a better democracy and has better infrastructure than the US. Plus, it’s warm there!
Vote Demotratic: Because after 8 years of torture, lies, shredding of the constitution and illegal wars, your standards can’t be all that high can it?
-Vote Democratic! ‘Cause this time they will RESPECT our strongly worded letters.
-Democrats:66% less ashamed of our wide stances
or the ever popular:
Vote Democratic! 100% less likely to nominate a supreme court judge who believes torture is constitutional and that Roe v Wade should be overturned.
Not quite as catchy as the others.
While it’s fun to play this game, let’s be quite clear that there are some genuine and distinct differences here and if you have any desire to see Roe v. Wade continue to be the law of the land, there is no choice. If you believe torture should always be off the table, there is no choice.
Um, all very funny, for real, but you might want to fix something: you don’t want to say ‘the Nuremberg laws.’ Jonah’s already on the case–we’ve got to keep our fascism under wraps. Heil Che!
Claim you were confused and thought you were referencing war crimes; it’s a common enough brainfart.
I’m interrupting this thread for a moment of happiness:
Yay Donna!
It is occasionally important to recall that distinguishing between having the Democratic Party run the country and the Republicans run the country is like choosing between having to work for the craven boss you always hated and a drunken cave-dwelling serial killer.
There are those out there who refuse, on principle, to vote for the hated and craven boss, but a lot of us are getting really tired of the drunken cave-dwelling serial killers.
“Vote Republican, Again, Dumbass!”
Only because I think Democrat voters know what to do, the Republicans OTOH, well, a lot of them are still in the last throes of their war, this great economy, the massive debt, spying on ourselves, water torture, Intelligent Design, Jonah Goldberg, LGF, Pammy Of The Big Tits, three dollar gas and four dollar a gallon milk. Etc. Indeed, that is central to my point.
Democrats: LOLWUT?
Democrats! We play the Good Cop.
Democrats: Because It’s Less Work Than Floating to Cuba.
Democrats: Because The World Loved Us in 1999.
Democrats: Because We Hate Illinois Nazis Too.
Democrats: Oh, C’mon. Please?
Democrats: We Only Kill Your Hopes, Not Your Family.
Democrats: Socialized Medicine Isn’t A Suicide Pact.
Come now, Jillian, let’s be logical. It’s not that the Democrats want to keep enabling the worst Republican ideas, it’s just that they’re all being blackmailed! Every single one of them! That’s what all the commenters at the big liberal blogs keep saying, so it must be true.*
If we could just destroy the tapes of them raping barnyard animals, stealing candy from babies, and having crack-fueled orgies in Congress, then they’d be free to vote the way they really want to.
* Which makes me wonder – if they’re all so fucking filthy dirty corrupt that they’d rather be known for enabling telecom immunity, loss of habeas corpus, endless war in the Middle East, etc., than whatever it is Bush and Cheney are threatening to reveal, why would anyone believe they have any good intentions at all? Ah, well, no one ever accused conspiracy theorists of being intelligent.
Vote Democratic: The system still works, please remain calm.
Democrats: What’s good for Verizon is good for AT&T.
Democrats: Your personal phone calls are, like, the most boringest shit evar.
Off the table in 08
Vote Democratic.
Corporate politics never tasted so good.
Vote Democratic, because we play Nearer My God To Thee just a little bit slower.
Vote Democratic! Sure we’ll still screw ya, but we won’t demand that you like it.
Had enough? Alright, fine, vote Democrat if you must. Let us know when you are ready for more.
Vote Democratic.
Our candidates aren’t always rich white men.
Democrat: In any other country we would be Republicans
We do need to be asking the question: are the Dems just stupid, venal, and incompetent, or are they actually working hand-in-glove with the Republicans to dismantle the safeguards of the Constitution to bring about a more authoritarian, yet vastly more profitable, system?
Democrats: Evil, or Just Fucking Stupid?
Actually neither. About half of the Democrats in Congress are actually fucking Republicans!
You want this? Haha, can’t have it! Still want it? Haha, suckers! How about now? OMG I can’t believe you feel for that again!
Vote Democrat
Vote Democratic.
Our celebrity fans are cooler.
And we play rock music you can stand.
And we play rock music you can stand.
Yeah, but just for the nomination I hope Obama breaks out the gangsta rap. Just to finish Bill O off once and for all.
– The Democrats: Forestalling the Inevitable since 1824.
– For those who prefer a small glass of piss to a big bowl of shit…it’s the Democrats!
– OBAMA ’08: Let’s let Congress kowtow to one of their own this year!
– Vote liberal! Or, failing that, vote Democrat!
– Every few years, millions of people swallow all their objections to their party’s candidate and line up behind him, giving the party a decisive victory despite their own ideological issues with the winner. Find out how it feels to be a Republican: vote Democrat!
– Unhappy with the status quo? Tough shit. Suck it up and vote Democrat.
– The Democrats: we’re compromiseriffic!
Democrats: The Party which didn’t bring you elderly corpses rotting in the streets of New Orleans.
Vote Democratic.
Our sex scandals are less pathetic.
Even if it’s just Ice Cube and “It Was a Good Day” would make him bust a vessel.
Put a friendly face on GOP policies, vote Democrat.
Support Harry Reid, Vote Democrat.
The Democratic Party: the illusion of difference.
Democrats: the finest in capitulation.
Spines are for porcupines, vote Democrat.
Democrats: asses.
We won’t stop the pain, but let us help with the suffering.
We won’t cure, but together maybe we can heal.
We won’t change the circumstances, but with your help maybe we can improve how we feel about them.
Vote Democratic.
Because your perceptions are precious.
Hey, where are all the trolls? They should be all over this shit.
Democrats: They suck, but they don’t smile about it.
Democrats: They won’t twist the knife.
Hold your nose and Vote Democrat! Because the last time you thought it wouldn’t matter if you stuck by your principles and held out for a really progressive candidate, you got – well, my God, look what happened!
“Democrats: we didn’t just ass-rape your Mom!”
or maybe
“Oh, right. Like your vote is gonna count anyway.”
Democrats: We won’t over-reach in our imperialism.
Democrats: We bring you hope and change. You can hope we change.
Democrats: Ignore the man behind the curtain.
Democrats: Feel good about war again.
I have to cry “foul” on this one. HRC’s campaign song was a fucking CELINE DION song. This, by definition, makes ANYTHING the Republicans do better on the music front.
We aren’t nearly as big a bunch of dicks.
Vote Democratic in 2008.
-GSD
I thought crack was the new coke. Or is that ecstasy?
Democrats: Because neither Hillary nor Obama could find the time to go vote on telecom immunity.
Democrats: Because nothing says “change” like 2 dimes and a quarter.
Democrats: We promise not to come in your mouth.
Democrats: Mashed potatoes will also be served.
Vote Democratic.
Admit it.
If you had to, you’d fuck us before the other guys.
Democrats: Because neither Hillary nor Obama could find the time to go vote on telecom immunity.
Actually, I thought Obama voted against it?
Anyways, here are a couple of mine:
Vote Democrat: Because we’ll only cave on our own principles this time, and not to the Republicans!
Vote Democrat: We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing…which is still better than the other guy, right?
How many Democratic congressmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A bipartisan concensus has revealed that the lightbulb doesn’t need to be changed, so we won’t even bother flipping the light switch to check. (Yeah, this one sounded funnier in my head).
Patkin has my two faves:
Democrats: Because The World Loved Us in 1999.
Democrats: We Only Kill Your Hopes, Not Your Family.
Democrats: You’re Supposed to Notice The Difference. No, Really.
Democrats: This Time, We WILL Stop Hitting Ourselves!
Democrats: From the Leadership Who Brought You The Folksy Allure of Mondale, The Beetlebrows of Dukakis, The Surrender of Gore, and The Electability of Kerry!
Vote Democratic: It’ll make Bill 0’Reilly mad.
Vote Democratic: Because presidents shouldn’t have to veto things
Vote Democrat: We’ll we take seriously our oath to defend the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights — as long as it remains politically expedient for us to do so.
Too wordy?
Vote Democrat! At least they’re not secretly cheering on Fred Phelps!
Democrat ’08: Most Likely to Bring on Another Malkin Cheerleading Video!
Democrats: Making Wingnuts Say the Darndest Things On the Internet Since Al Gore Invented It (SEE?!?!)!
Democrats ’08: At Least This Year’s Candidate Won’t Look Like They’re Melting!
Democrat: Least and Most Likely to Legislate Getting Us Liberals Stoned!
Democrats: They care enough to pick up the corpses.
Democrats; We’re not competent either, but at least we might sell you out to someone who is!
Democrats, because there really is a difference, and only a complete moron fails to see it — or did you vote for Nader?
MrSparkle, my understanding is that Obama voted for the amendment to strip telecom immunity (while Clinton didn’t … point to the Man from Illinois). The amendment failed … due to the machinations of Harry Reid and the Senate leadership. Neither of them voted on final passage of the bill.
Vote Democratic: Not afraid to admit that Iran would whip our punk asses if we tangled with them.
Democrats: At Least We Use Lube.
Four More Years Of Things Not Getting Worse
Democrats: Keep Steroids On The Table
If you are tired of Republican talking points, vote Democrat Party.
We’re the Democrats, and the Republicans approved this message.
Vote Democrat, we sort of stand for something.
9/11, 9/11, 9/11 Change! Hope! Change! Hope!
That was supposed to be a strikethrough on the 9/11s. Also, this contest would be more fun if the first entry wasn’t the obvious winner.
Vote Democratic.
When shit becomes “necessary triangulation”, it’s nobody’s fault.
MrSparkle, my understanding is that Obama voted for the amendment to strip telecom immunity (while Clinton didn’t … point to the Man from Illinois). The amendment failed … due to the machinations of Harry Reid and the Senate leadership. Neither of them voted on final passage of the bill.
Right on all but the last count. Obama was one of only 29 to vote nay.
One of these days the real thing will come along and we will be so busy assuming that they are all the same that we won’t even notice. Not saying that it’s Obama, just sayin’.
Vote Democrat:
We might be really lame
and pretend to feel your pain
but at least were not batshit insane
You know what? Im sorry, you were absolutely right. Kos lied to me. When I clicked through it was only the ammendment – and when I navigated around to find the final tally, Obama was absent. Suxxors.
Vote Democratic in ’08. If you can’t hold your own nose, we’ll give you a clothespin.
Vote Democratic in ‘08. If you can’t hold your own nose, we’ll
give you a clothespin.garnish the cost of a clothespin from your wages.Vote Democratic: When pretending to change is enough
Vote Spineless: Vote Democratic
Selling out the common man becasue we care so much – Vote Democratic
Vote Democratic: we’ll cuddle for a few minutes after we screw you. I can take that 20 on the nightstand for carfare, though, right?
The Democrats: convincingly contrite when caught.
Democrats ’08
Reach-arounds, a pony, and cake
Vote Democratic: We give you change back from your taxes!
Obviously:
IF YOU DO NOT VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS, YOU WILL GET THE GREATER.
Now bend over.
Haha, funny, funny stuff.
How bout this one:
Become a democratic voter, you get to participate in really fun circular firing squads!
Or, maybe, Become a Democratic Politician, so that you can know for certain that no matter what you do, the Republican voters won’t support you, and neither will the Democratic voters, so you might as well just do whatever makes you more money?
Yah, I know, they don’t scan well, wouldn’t make good bumber stickers, but it’s the best I can do…
-me
Democrats: Only marginally less deep in industry’s pockets
Democrats: Yes, John Kerry really was the best we could come up with in 2004
Democrat: At Least We Offer Candidates Who Aren’t All White Guys
Democrats: We Actually Acknowledge Climate Change
Ooops, I forgot my usual M.O.: Vote Democrat: Because Skink Tyree Really is Just a Fictional Character
Actually, there’s a rather humorous and very Wingy motto contest being chronicled that is going on at Little Green Footballs. LGFWatch has some of the entries up. I almost wanted to say Democrat: At Least You’ll Be With People Not Writing Stuff Like This!
(I was going to leave the link, but Charles Johnson keeps changing the one at LGFWatch, as usual, to an IDF site. And LGF is being so slow that I had to just find the link in my email. Hope this works:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=28865_The_Six-Word_Motto_Contest#comments
Democrats in 2008 – because Shit is better than Radioactive Waste!
Democrats: we won’t use signing statements, because they’re effective.
OK, that link has been changed. Again. By Charles Johnson, technical genius, continually thwarting efforts by those aiming to mock his site. Either that or he is really that embarrassed about his readers’ entries. At least some of them were posted at LGFWatch first.
Sorry for all the OT, it was supposed to be quick and painless. Dumbass Chuckles.
Democrats: Please Stand As We Recite the E Plebnista.
IF YOU DO NOT VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS, YOU WILL GET THE GREATER.
Now bend over.
Except that the lesser evil will, in turn, bend over for the greater while useful idiots make feeble excuses for them, so, you know, it still comes back to the need for someone who will actually oppose the greater evil, even when they know it’s hopeless. Just to keep in practice, at least. Maybe just to inspire by example. As it is, why should the lesser evil bother to aspire to more? They know morons like you will vote for them no matter what. You keep flat-out telling them that.
Useful idiots keep telling me that if I just keep wishing…and hoping…and thinking…and praying…and planning…and dreaming…we’ll get genuine progressives in power somehow. (That part is always vague; I think it involves a miracle or something.)
Fuck you and all the apologists like you. I’m writing in a vote for Eugene Debs/Emma Goldman while sending letters to every congressional chickenshit and presidential candidate explaining in detail why I’m never voting for another fucking Democrat. Going on strike, if you will. Maybe they’ll understand that.
Vote Democratic: Hell Ain’t Half Full
Vote Democratic to Cancel Out Somebody Who Didn’t
Vote
TweedledumTweedledeeDemocraticVote Democratic, ‘cuz it’s 1932 All Over Again
Vote Democratic and Win $100
Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK, and We’ll Vote Democratic For You!
“Fighting for democracy over there so we don’t have to have it over here.”
“Welcome to the USSR.”
Vote Democratic: Now with 3% less Republicansishness.
Vote Democratic: Even the Republicans don’t want a Republican Nominee.
Vote Democratic: I’m Serious. Like you got a better idea.
Vote Democratic: The Audacity to Use the Vocabulary of a Grown Up.
Vote Democratic: Craven Politics, but Under the Rule of Law.
Some Guy’s submissions are still the best.
Democrats: Unlike the Republicans, we’ll fuck you over gently AND use a condom. Now bend over…
Vote Democratic: Liberal Fascism is in vogue!
Vote Democratic in ’08: We’d have regained the White House in ’04 if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
Vote Democrat: We Put Out
Vote Democrat: Douchebags Welcome
Vote Democrat: Our Corporate Overlords are Slightly Less Evil
Vote Democrat: More Bongs, Less Bombs
Vote Democrat: Like Republicans, but Less Sodomy
Vote Democrat: We’re Too Ineffectual To Screw Things Up Too Bad
Vote Democrat: We’ve got Pantsuits!
Vote Democrat: Say No to Big Oatmeal
Vote Democrat: Don’t Worry, We’ll Figure Out Some Way to Screw This One Up So You Can Spend the Next 4 Years Sanctimoniously Telling People, “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted Democrat”
Vote Democratic: It’s the difference between hitting yourself with a ball peen and a sledge.
Vote Demoncratic: Maybe one of them will remember Wellstone.
Vote Democratic: Less Halliburton, more Walmart.
“If you think a sloppy Oval Office blowjob is not quite as bad as 4000 lives wasted in a futile, unwinnable civil war, vote Democratic.”
Democrats: Wouldn’t you rather have some sex scandals for a change?
Vote Democratic: D comes before R
Democrats: Because every criminal mastermind needs a good patsy.
Vote Democrat: Yeah, we’ll stab you in the back, but at least we’ll feel bad about it later.
Probably.
Democrats: Zero carbs!
Vote Democrat: At least they’ll use AstroGlide
Vote Democrat, because the lesser of two evils is less evil.
“Vote Democrat! We’ll probably take the country in a wrong direction, but at least it won’t be off a cliff.”
Actual bumper sticker I had, which I loved and displayed with pride while Bush had 80% approval:
“Which is worse – screwing an intern or screwing the country?”
The Democrats…
Four more years!
Four more years!
Four more years!
Vote Democrats for change! We’ll at least give you some of the spare change.
Not a Choice, but an Echo!
I was gonna chip into this thread, but on the morning after Donna Edwards got Al Wynn fired from his job, I’m going to maintain my mellow a little while. Not that I don’t understand.
THE DEMOCRATS: Punchline to the Dirtiest Joke in Democracy.
Want less shit in your shit sandwich? Vote Democratic!
1. Collect Democratic votes.
2. ?
3. Profit! Uh… wait. I mean, “better government.”
Vote Democratic: Because a coward is still better than a psychopath.
Democrats ’08: Now with 23% less waffling! (Well, maybe 14%…)
Vote Democratic: We promise we’ll actually do something this time.
A monkey could lead the country better than a Republican.
Both our candidates are smarter than monkeys.
Vote Democratic.
And, of course, the essential slogan:
Democrats ’08: At this point, we can’t possibly do any worse.
Vote Democrat: Surrender With Pride!
About half of the Democrats in Congress are actually fucking Republicans!
Well, tell ’em to stop! Sheesh! No wonder they never get anything done.
Vote Democrat: But only the ones Nancy Pelosi, Rham Emanual and Harry Reid endorse!
Vote Democrat: Because Ken Starr Wants To Make a Come-Back!
Vote Democratic – We include black people that don’t say “I want some Mother Fi’n Ice Tea”
Vote Democrat – Because we can take the ultimate fall for the last 8 years of failure.
Vote Democrat – We need to try our hand at corruption.
Vote Democrat – Isn’t America ready for another Presidential punching bag?
Vote Democrat – We don’t communicate in jibberish
Vote Democrat – Our biggest accomplishment in the White House won’t be catching a fish on our ranch
Show your support for a Democrat President because Congress sure won’t.
Vote Democratic: Even the Republicans don’t want a Republican Nominee.
Mako–I LOVE it!! LMAO!
Democrats: The Other White Elite!
“Vote Democratic. I mean, are you retarded or what?”
Democrats: At least you’re getting one more choice than the Communists ever got (so shut up and be happy).
Democrats in ’08: Now Only Half-White!
Vote Third Party! Because Your “Voting Your Oh-So-Progressive Conscience” Is More Important Than Anything Else!
Democrat Party? Democrat President? Somewhere Frank Luntz is smiling.
Democrats: Trying hard to prove Ralph Nader right since 2000
[…] funny. Sadly, No! running something of a contest for new slogans to vote Democratic: Democrats: We’re marginally less likely to march the whole […]
Vote Democrat! Because being maimed is better than being raped and killed.
Vote Democrat! So we can Enable the republican’s ALL the time!
Vote Democratic: Because You Appreciate the Difference Between Coke And Pepsi!
Vote Democratic: You Can Support the Corporate Duopoly And Sanctimoniously Hector Those That Don’t! (kisses, happenstance!)
Democrats: At Least We Feel A Little Remorse When We Screw You!
Vote Democratic:
– we may be rich, arogant, bastards, but we’re your kind of rich, arogant bastards.
– There is less mold on our money.
– all our sex scandals involve women.
Democrats: When A Dime’s Worth of Difference Is All You Get…Enjoy Your Ten Cents!
Vote Democratic: Pissing Up A Rope Never Felt This Good!
Vote Democratic! What Did Having A Conscience Ever Do For You?
(kisses again, Happenstance)
Dems 08: With us in power, conservatives will be outraged by domestic spying again!
I was writing a post like this myself, but this is funnier.
I really hope this happens, that once the Dems take the Whitehouse, the Republicans will suddenly find that old, shit-stained copy of the Constitution, wipe the nasty bits off it and actually read it. And if the Republicans want to limit executive power, you know they’ll make it happen even in the face of a Democratic Congress and President.
But what really scares me is what if they don’t?
It’s not like they were too embarrassed to use the filibuster after having gone on record as saying it was anti-democratic. There is always some bullshit way to differentiate what they do from what Democrats do. The real danger is how much the Supreme Court has changed or will continue to change what the Constitution limits.
Vote Democratic: We don’t think your stupid…we know it!
(You’d better) Vote Democrat. Sen. Rockefeller knows what you did last summer.
Vote Democrat: Duh
Vote Democratic, if it’s possible in your state..
Live free or Die bold.
-when you’re too dehydrated to weep any more, vote Democratic!
-only half your half your children will die, instead of most!
(With eternal apologies to Mr Show)
Vote Democratic: sure, we’ll fuck you over, but at least we won’t also fuck your dog. First.
I sincerely apologise for that one. I’m so ashamed (but at least I got the name of the party right, and I’m not even a Murrkin).
Democrats: running scared . . . for America!
Bush fucked up the country for 8 years. Now it’s our turn!
Vote Democratic: When we use words with more than 3 syllables, we’ll pronounce them correctly.
Vote Democratic: Because moving to France is out now that Sarkozy won!
Vote Democratic: Because WE deserve some no-bid contracts, dammit!
The Democratic Party: We got your “change” right here.
These are all great. Not only did I link to this post, I added it to my sidebar, under “please don’t ask me who I’m voting for”. Thanks!
Democrats: Because doing nothing is better than what those other guys are doing.