Help An Author Out
I’m planning on writing a book called “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from Mao Zedong to the Hoover Institute”. Basically, the premise of the book is that even though people think that Communism is a phenomenon of the Left, it should be obvious to any serious scholar that Communists have more in common with today’s conservatives than they do today’s progressives. I mean, Lenin outlawed prostitution, and Focus on the Family wants to keep prostitution outlawed. Mao thought all businesses should be supported by the government, and modern conservatives think that the government should avoid taxing businesses and give them all kinds of grants and free money. You can see that they’re basically the same thing. Anyway, I’ve only just started working on this, but I can guarantee you that this argument has never been made in such detail or with such care.
But I really need some help from some of my loyal readers. You see, I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Russell Kirk. There’s simply no way I can read it all, nor do I really need to. But if there are any real experts on Kirk out there – regardless of ideological affiliation (as long as you’re a liberal) – I’d love to ask you a few questions in case I’m missing something.
Update: From the inimitable Jeff Fecke in the comments:
I’m totally an expert on Captain Kirk, and he agrees with you.
I find this post to be the most serious and detailed examination of communism that anyone has ever attempted, and I feel that never before has anyone ever attempted to answer these questions with such thought and care.
That’s awesome. I’m totally stoked you’re doing this, but what I’m most concerned about is the cover. What will it look like? Would it, for example, make a good t-shirt?
Why don’t you guys design a cover for my new book?
Make sure to keep it serious, though, because I am a serious scholar.
I will immediately purchase this book. Communism and conservatism are exactly the same, as any fool can see, and a book that points this out will be no doubt rocket to the top of the bestseller lists.
I have yet to find even one right wing blog attempt to debate this serious and well-researched book of yours on any serious level.
good stuff
The truth is, as Jonah Goldberg so eliquently pointed out in his book, that communism and fascism are the same phenomenon with different names there is no difference. The fascists were the browns and the communists were the reds and they only became enemies in the mid 1930s for political not ideological reasons. Both fascism and communism are of the left of which modern day American liberalism is an offshoot of.
For the cover: Reagan with a Stalin mustache.
It should be a little red book, with this on its cover.
Don’t forget to say that you’re not equating conservatives with nazis, just because they both like killing people they disagree with. To equate conservatives with nazis would be over the top, so of course you would never say such a thing.
Many people, however think that conservatives are basically nazis. Not you, though. Indeed, the fact that conservatives are not nazis is central to your point.
Nice bleg. I wish I knew something juicy about Russel Kirk. Sorry! I similarly don’t know anything about Mao. I’m an ideal reader, I’d guess, of your book.
BTW this sucks but now the superbowl is going to be more NYC vs Boston crap, as if you guys weren’t satisfied infecting baseball with your teams’ dominance–you must have it all I guess!
Russel Kirk – yeah, wasn’t he that cool black jazz player who could, like blow outta both sides of his mouth?
Is the history of Conservative Communism secret? If so, who has been keeping it secret for all these years? I’ll bet it’s that Liberal Media.
Let me just say that I assure you that my dissertation will be the first dissertation to cite your book, Jillian. You don’t even have to have it finished. I’ll still cite it!
Since I know absoltely nothing about political history but can use google, I am the ideal person to contribute to your bleg. Russell Kirk was influence by Burke, who wrote a treatise advocating anarchism called A Vindication of Natural Society. Some anarchists are collectivists, communists are colectivists, therefore KIrk is a commie, and his little running dog followers too.
Culture War – Cultural Revolution
Hellooo!
(Obviously, I’m not saying Billo is a Maoist, far from it. I merely point out, in a serious and scholarly manner of course, that his beliefs, words, and actions bear a number of striking similarities to that of a crazed follower of Maoist doctrine.)
As a person with no advanced degrees and almost no awareness of this Russell Kirk person I’m perfectly qualified to help you out here. I can’t be criticized for being a member of the guild or for being too close to the subject matter and I’m unlikely to force any hard intellectual distinctions because how the fuck would I? I’ll half bake something and get back to you.
And be advised, the quintessential conservative communist isn’t a member of the shock brigades; it is a white male venture capitalist with a MBA from Brown or Swarthmore.
Mike Huckabee hates teh gay, AND SO DOES CASTRO!
The truth is, Ayn Rand was a well-known conservative communist.
In Atlas Shrugged, she attacked e. e. cummings for his eccentric and idiosyncratic capitalization. She wanted to stamp out his individuality and force him to join her conservative collective!
Indeed, I am certain it is central to your point.
Some might argue that my previous comment would have been more effective if the first link hadn’t crapped out on me. This, indeed, is central to my point.
One problem you’ll run into is that it turns out Marx is a conservative communist, just like Hitler.
Anyone want to photoshop some socialist realism and put Reagan’s head on the farmer? Or the tracker? (perhaps swap out Lenin’s Head for Reagan’s?)
That awesome Maoist picture-book version of “What’s Liberal” should be a source of inspiration. Wish I could find the link.
I photoshop because I care.
What can be more communist than religion? Everyone knows only Republicans are religious, so those hippie communes that call themselves rectories or convents are republican too,
Didn’t Reagan come to an agreement with Gorbachev? And didn’t W gaze deep into the soul of KGB agent Putin and find it good? I’m seeing a pattern. Are you? And don’t get me started on Nixon and Mao.
It can safely be inferred from the existence of a phenomenon such as Left Communism that all other communist schools must, logically, be right wing.
The power of Bordiga compels you!
Aha…
Here it is:
http://homepage.mac.com/cclarke3/FileSharing6.html
Oh, jebus, J–. That’s just…. hell, considering how Jonah basically allows for Christianity to be fascist, even Oral Roberts won’t accept this crap as a dissertation. Nevermind accepted, he should get down on his knees and orally pleasure any student who can get such a project accepted by their committee to begin with.
Okay, this I do know about Russell Kirk. Like Brezhnev, not a huge fan of Israel.
Like Stalin, Russell Kirk was a conspicuous consumer of oxygen.
I’m told that Hitler also consumed oxygen; I believe this only bolsters my point.
The People’s Temptation from The Little Red Book to Little Green Footballs.
This is serious, people.
This is serious, people.
No question! The Conservative-Communist Internationale-Nationale is the greatest threat to world peace since Mao won his version of the rural primaries.
Conservative Communism: Collectivist Consumerism from We Are The World to Toys”R”Us®
Russell Kirk starred in “Big Trouble in Little China” and “Escape From New York”.
.
The fact is that Conservatives are exactly like Nazis, Communists, cannibals, Heaven’s Gate, the Manson Family, and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs; and anyone who says differently is a treasonous lying traitor who hates America.
Russell Kirk starred in “Big Trouble in Little China” and “Escape From New York”.
China. New York. Case closed! (Ya know who else escaped from New York? Onetime GOP front runner Rudy Giuliani! You can look it up.)
How can I even begin to take your book seriously until you set up a blog to discuss it where you print dozens of sycophantic adulatory emails from your fans?
That is what is known as “scholarship,” after all.
The white male is the something-or-other of conservative communism.
…give them all kinds of grants and free money.
No-bid contracts. Cost plus contracts.
Conservative communism differs from classical communism in many ways. I don’t deny this. Indeed, it is central to my point.
Russell Kirk? You mean the guy who was Snake Pliskin? I love his stuff! I didnt realize that he was a Serious Author- cool! I am so looking forward to your book, I just noticed you have a release date of September 08, so we should expect this around say… May-ish 2012?
Hmm. Looks like Jillian’s book is coming out in a competitive market.
Rob Helpy-Chalk already has a TOC and chapter notes for his.
Silence them with footnotes! Don’t matter what they say, just have lots of ’em.
I can do it if no one else has the time or inclination, but the Cs in “Conservative” and “Communism” would look much nicer if they were made of Hammers & Sickles.
Also, will you be updating the title to include something like “From the Haymarket Riots to Ann Coulter”?
“Why don’t you guys design a cover for my new book?”
And I’m still waiting for the Liberal Fascist Strike Team graphic. Sniff. Sniff…
Don’t research. And if you do, make sure it’s really shitty. Equivocate in interviews.
You’ve already got plenty of mindless drones at your disposal, so you’ve got that part covered.
Don’t forget to mention Lysenkoism–the subordination of inconvenient scientific facts (like evolution) to ideological purity.
Check this out:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/20/latimes.editor.ap/index.html
Surely them can trim the fat by canning Jonah….
Conservative Communism: The Secret Complicity of the American Right from John Wayne to Ronald Reagan
The bisexual immigrant liberated female is the Jew of the communist conservative. (Except for my ex, fuck her. Also, she is Jewish, according to her mother’s vagina.)
Opposition to liberal fascism led conservatives to ally with communists in WWII, an alliance that was never truly broken, not even by the Cold War. You’ll notice that both sides of the Cold War seem to think fighting in snowy places is a utopian ideal. Thus we see that any ideology which believes in combatting its opponents in snowy places is communist.
That liberal fascism is an oxymoron is, indeed, central to my point.
Great book idea. Be sure to include a chapter on Richard Mellon Scaife, a very influential ConCom, who once said “From each legacy mamma’s-boy regardless of his abilities, to each legacy mamma’s-boy according to his insecure neediness.”
Ms Jillian, I got everything you need to know about your man Kirk right here.
Oh, yeah.
You’ll notice that both sides of the Cold War seem to think fighting in snowy places is a utopian ideal. Thus we see that any ideology which believes in combatting its opponents in snowy places is communist.
Did li’l Elisha Manning just defeat communism?
All 4 of the teams which played today played in locations where snow may easily be found.
Therefore, they are all communist.
The only known non-communist sport is beach volleyball.
Speaking of science, I just realized that Hitler believed in… Evolution! Just like liberal college professors!
Oh Noes!
You should send this post to Jon Stewart – time for an interview! He’ll be pissed that he didn’t think of it himself.
Looks like you can count on other blog-scholars to back you up. From DHinMI’s review of Paul Krugman’s Conscience of A Liberal just posted on Daily Kos:
“But movement conservatism has at its heart a “Leninist strategy” of unrelenting pursuit of its primary goal: the repeal of the New Deal.”
Can we celebrate your book release with an Angry Party? Can’t wait to see you on BookTV!
Is there going to be a chapter on how conservative advocates for the free market work in non-profit think tanks and for loss-making magazines bankrolled by billionaire heirs?
communism and fascism and religion and sports and eating and talking and farting and getting gum on your shoe are all really part of the continuum of left/right anarcho-syndicalist running dog hitler stalin mussolini wilson whole foods brett hull jaromir jagr hitler (you said hitler twice! i like hitler…) gay straight and so on, as russell kirk once said.
or didn’t, which only makes my point stronger.
I have noticed a certain semblance between corporate culture and Maoism, particularly in the areas of propaganda and performance reviews.
The only known non-communist sport is beach volleyball.
But only singles matches. Team sports are communist by their very nature. Indeed, that is central to the point.
The truth is, Hillary KKKlinton is a communist/fascist because she wants universal health care and wants to redistribute wealth from the rich and middle class who worked hard to get their wealth to the poor who are only poor because they are lazy. In a Country like America where there is the free market and unlimited opportunities for sucess the only poor people are lazy bastards who deserve to be poor because they would rather sit on their asses and collect welfare checks than get an education or go out and get a job. Only a communist/fascist would propose such anti-Capitalist ideas therefore KKKLinton is a communist/fascist.
My photoshopping skills leave something to be desired, but here’s my cover submission.
I’d probably hang out in the Thom Hartmann chat room. Hartmann is BIG on citing Russell Kirk.
Conservative Communism: From the Red Army to RedState.com
The truth is, Hillary Clinton is a brigand because she wants to redistribute lupines.
Fixed?
I agree with Ahem…surely there must be chapter on the “Wingnut Welfare State.”
Also, Castro, Stalin, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, and Mao also liked to dress themselves in military attire, not unlike our fighter-pilot-in-chief and the way he likes to parade around his generals.
There should also be a chapter on Mao’s “Cultural Revolution” where he tried to eradicate the “liberal bourgeoisie.”
The treatment of protesters and the stifling of political dissent is also noteworthy.
And, of course, the use of torture by people like Pol Pot has a strong relevance to today as well.
Russel Kirk – yeah, wasn’t he that cool black jazz player who could, like blow outta both sides of his mouth?
I thought he was the good guy who gets sucked into a computer in ‘Tron’.
“Free trade” agreements which force large sectors of skilled workers into low paying jobs is exactly like the Khmer Rouge’s policies of sending professionals out of the cities and into the fields and rice paddies to work to death.
Torture is a necessary tool in the fight against islamo-fascism.
How about something like this for the cover?
.
That’s the ticket! You can have footnotes that cite a major work by a highly reliable historian, even though that historian didn’t write anything that in any way supports the statement you’re footnoting. Only the highly reliable historian will know, and by the time he raises public objections you’ll already be #2 on Amazon. Screw ’em!
Or you can have footnotes that cite books by Albert Einstein or Walter Lippman or other respected dead people, books that don’t actually exist at all. If anyone asks, just tell them that you’ve got the only copy and you ain’t gonna show it to nobody because they might smear boogers all over the pages.
Or you can have footnotes that cite your phone bill. Or your dog’s butthole. Or ectoplasm in the fifth dimension. That can be fun.
And when the interviewer establishes that you don’t know shit, blandly tell him that it just slipped your mind that Lenin was a Communist. Could happen to anyone.
Bastion Booger said,
January 21, 2008 at 7:40
Torture is a necessary tool in the fight against islamo-fascism.
I thought that liberals were fascists. Now you tell me that muslims are? Who’s a fascist? I’m confused.
footnote fodder
http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/stalin/works/1939/01/10.htm
http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1920/lwc/index.htm
Might I suggest a chapter outlining the ways in which DisneyWorld is just like life in the former Soviet Union, only with brighter colors and better weather?
Subtitle: From Emma Goldman to Jonah Goldberg
Try this. I epu’d myself. Too many things going on.
http://stryxvaria.blogspot.com/2008/01/jillians-new-book.html
Stalin enjoyed watching westerns. Conservatives like watching John Wayne movies.
This would obviously indicate that conservatives are Stalinists, but saying that conservatives are Stalinists does not mean that I’m in any way actually comparing conservatives to Stalinists.
I haven’t read all the comments yet, but I really think the cover needs “slanty” Oriental eyes.
What ?
“However, Mao’s deep distrust of intellectuals and faith in the power of the mass mobilisation of peasants led him to order this massive countrywide effort without consulting expert opinion. Moreover the experience of the intellectual classes following the 100 Flowers Campaign led those aware of the folly of such a plan to not dare voice criticism.”
distrust of intellectual? check
use of ‘gut’ in decisions? check
idealization of mythical ‘real people’ check
belief in fantasy despite obvious proof? check
Performance reviews: the subversive way that ConComs stick it to the man!!!
You know, of course, that they only called Lenin a “Communist” because during World War I, while Russia was fighting Germany, he opposed the war!
And did you know that “Soviet” means “council” as in “Council of Conservative Citizens“?
I thought that liberals were fascists. Now you tell me that muslims are? Who’s a fascist? I’m confused.
Muslims are liberals too. See, most Muslims are brown and liberals love brown people, at least in the parts of the book where they aren’t racist. Also, they want to be dhimmis who have to pay taxes to a Muslim overlord, which is why they might just nominate Barack Obama who is secretly Muslim… because they love taxes. Finally, Mussolini, who is usually thought of a fascist because he was such a fastidious dresser, can be connected within five degrees to Kevin Bacon, and there are FIVE pillars in Islam.
If it still doesn’t make sense, you must be a fascist.
If it still doesn’t makes
Just focus on Chapter Titles…..I got an extra 500 pages of words you can use, I bought mine at Words R Us, just like Jonah.
One deep thought….at the rate of market consolidations we see under Republican rule (see NewsCorp), how soon will we have 1 supplier of news, autos, food, etc? Is not Wal-Mart the ultimate commie conspiracy with everyday low prices?
Love the iconic birthmark at the top of happy’s face!
I fear the subtitle will go over the heads of our conservative brethren. Can’t you work cheetos in somewhere? They understand cheetos.
pedestrian said,
January 21, 2008 at
Thank you. I feel much less the fascist and much less confused.
speaking of the iconic birthmark on the smiley face, it sorta reminds me of Harry Potter.
HARRY POTTER IS A COMMUNIST?!?!??!??!??!?!?! HOLY CRAP!!!!111!!1one!!1
Bastion Booger is desperately flailing about. I guess the Big Golden Book of Republican Talking Points has not been updated for “Liberal Fascism.”
He’ll be back as soon as things settle down and Rush and O’Reilly get a chance to check the latest memo from the Hoover Institute and start yammering on and on about what “Liberal Fascism” means to stupid people.
“Those who are not with us are against us.” Josef “Stalin” Djugashvili
“You’re either with us or you’re with the terrorists.” George “Dubya” Bush
This thread is full of win, bravo.
Alternate title for the paperback 2nd edition:
Conservative Communism:
The Collectivist Temptation From Karl Marx’s Beard to the Wingnut Face Mullet
(New Edition Features Chapter Equating Maoist Rebels and Backwoods Survivalists)
Fascism wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross here.
Btw, this brilliant thesis also explains why “only Nixon can go to China”.
“Workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your Cheney!”
Fundie Commies insisting everyone express only one ‘sanctioned’ view of the bible.
Marxist/Maoist infiltrators undoubtedly.
Speaking in Tongues?
HAH!
Secret Code on how to sap America’s vital essence is what you are actually listening to…
I bow to your brilliance, Jillian. And with this entry, you’ve already outdone Jonah on substance.
Communists as well as Republicans have a ban on factionalism. Criticizing the leader is akin to treason.
Communists as well as Republicans believe assasination is a prerogative of keeping power. Stalin had Trotsky assasinated while Bush tried to have Saddam blown to bits on many occasions.
Trotsky introduced political commissars to control the army while George Bush uses generals like Petraeus to control politicians.
Is Jillian getting us to work for free a Conservative or a Communist plot? As you can see there is no difference.
I had to take a shot at the book cover…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23036368@N04/2208274357/
I’m sorry to throw cold water in everyones neck, but I have to say that unfortunately Jillian is simply not qualified to write this sort of book.
For starters, Jillian’s job at Sadly No (and relatively the opportunity to write the book) was not arranged on a silver platter by her mother. Clearly, if she is unable to get a job in journalism through her mother, doesn’t that mean her mother does not trust her skills?
I’m sorry to say this Jillian, but your mothers lack of help for you to publish your writings no matter what their quality is does not really speak of her support, and she must know you best having raised you for decades.
For this reason, I don’t think you should be allowed to write this book. Unless you got your place here in Sadly No through your mothers contacts, but that couldn’t be, because that would mean I wrote something in the internet without checking the facts. And and no-one would write unchecked facts to internet, atleast not if they can make a book out of them.
However, as a final note to whoever steals your book idea, a question I have raised before:
RED states? Communism? RED Scare?
See the connection? Elemetary my dear Watson.
Bistroist said,
January 21, 2008 at 7:23
The truth is, Hillary Clinton is a brigand because she wants to redistribute lupines.
Fixed?
I had a mental image of Herself Clinton flinging lupines hither and yon.
But that’s probably only because I’d call the flowers lupins. Not being a North American and all, I don’t need an extra ‘e’ to make me feel special.
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.
I can’t wait for the Daily Show interview…
Sigh. I don’t mean to be cantankerous and all, I really don’t. Perhaps I need a lie down. Or a job. Or just to indulge my pathetic whining by myself rather than in public.
Already on it……………
http://glasshouseflowers.blogspot.com/2007/12/usa-maoist-regime.html
We often think of Marx, who’s mistakenly seen as a Leftist, as being the founder of Communism.
But in fact Marx borrowed his most important ideas from Hegel and the Classical Economists. Both Hegel and the Classical Economists are often seen as conservatives. (I know that I’ve seen them called this…but I can’t remember where. Anyone out there want to look this up for
meJillian?)QED
Wal-Mart’s centralized procurement and distribution are basically Stalin’s wet dream made real, with more effective information technology.
Phrases like ‘latte sipping liberal elite’ sound strangely familiar, too.
But I really need some help from some of my loyal readers. You see, I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Russell Kirk.
Kirk was the Communist/Labour Prime Minister of the Socialist Republic of New Zealand from 1972 until his ouster by a patriotic liberation movement. He has since become an Australian Senator, where he has led that country towards collectivism. He was a noted expert on Greek literature, no doubt continuing the totalitarian communist line of thought developed by Plato.
Prior to this he served as the American naval attache in London until WWII broke out, where he was no doubt a close “friend” of Philby, Burgess and Maclean. He had an otherwise uneventful military “career”, apart from cheating on the “Kobayashi Maru” simulation test.
Russell Kirk was in “Escape From New York”? All well and good, but I’d rather hear the thoughts of Adrienne Barbeau if it’s all the same to you…
I can tell the thesis of your book is very serious, because you resisted the inevitable temptation to spell it “Konservative Kommunism”.
The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.
I think a whole chapter on American Football as the ultimate communist sport and plot is warranted.
It has salary caps, TV revenue is distributed equally, ignoring the success of the teams, and failing franchises, far from suffering the rigours of the marketplace (as they do in Liberatarian soccer, where they are demoted to an inferior league) are given extra help by getting first choice in the draft for the next season. “From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs”, eh? Note how the players are dehumanised by being assigned numbers.
I need only add that supposedly capitalist companies support this communist wet dream with large amounts of advertising money, conservatives complain vociferously when nipples appear in half time shows to distract from the spectacle of the sport, one of the right wing’s most visible propaganda outlets is called “Little Green Footballs”, and the Republican Secretary of State has expressed a desire to be the Commissioner (aka ‘Commissar’) of football.
The fact is,liberals often have guns and learned how to use them while Gary was still drinking from a sippy cup.
“Gary Ruppert said,
January 21, 2008 at 15:15
The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.”
So, neo-con chickenhawks vs. Hillbilly-Rednecks eh?
Will tickets be sold, and/or will the event be televiced?
Which side is the Bush administration taking, do you know? (they might fit both sides)
Oh, and is some “minor collateral damage” to be expected?
If you send Brady after me I’d surrender without a fight.
Damn, I wish I could phshop. How about a little green cap on the smiley to complete the nauseating clash of colors?
They’re going to let the Patriots use guns against the Giants?
Doesn’t seem fair, some how.
The fact is, conservative communists like Gary are different from classical conservative communists with guns, indeed, I don’t deny this, his forehead is central to my laser sights.
CME Globex Flash Quotes
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Nixon was a Republican. Nixon went to China. The Chinese are “Red” Communists. The GOPers identify themselves with the color red. This is central to my point.
The Spotted Owl is the Gulag prisoner of conservative communism.
The Soviets launched monkeys into space, they were likely influence by the Ronald Reagan movie “Bedtime for Bonzo”.
The Spotted Owl is the Gulag prisoner of conservative communism.
Okay, that’s awesome.
We’re all Spotted Owls now.
That’s great–seems very serious, precise, and careful–but shouldn’t the subtitle be switched around? From Mao to Hoover? You wouldn’t want your friendly reviewers to be forced to have to admit that your argument, while a lot of things they can damn with faint praise, has some lacunae.
Jillian: The same idea bubbled up at unfogged, and I started organizing the input on this. (Your cover looks nicer than mine) We need to collaborate. The closer this book gets to being a real book, the better the critique.
I epu’d myself.
Um, you did what, now?
I’ve always suspected. It just always seemed like they protested a little too much. “I am NOT a communist.” “I am NOT gay.” I do NOT kick puppies.”
Both commies and connies hate the Enlightenment. Reason is the opiate of the masses!
And the word “commiecons” shouldbe used as often as possible.
I’ll preorder my copy right now. This is the book that HAD to be written.
Stalin and Reagan….separated at birth?? Rove and Kruschev…inspiration for Pinky and the Brain?
The obvious: Redstates
Upthread I suggested it as:
Conservative Communism: From the Red Army to RedState.com
Don’t forget Black Friday. Consumers stand in line at Wal-Mart for hours and hours in the dark and freezing cold for the opportunity to purchase inferior but readily available Chinese made products. We have expanded our conservative communism well beyond the Russian model of potatoes and toilet paper.
That’s very good, cur.
Try putting a Stalin moustache and a pipe on the happy face.
Or maybe some crazy Mao hair.
in all seriousness, it has been often noted that there is indeed a lot of similarity between Stalinism and today’s neo-conservatives.
Jillian’s thesis should be a lot easier to prove than Jonah’s.
Current quote for YMH8 (E-mini MAR08 Dow Jones Futures): ~11750, and down ~350.
Fortunately, I have a futures account. If they’ve plunged this much in light trading, I’m definitely shorting them tomorrow (CME/CBOT closes around 1PM EST today).
Wait. Can’t you just read some interviews with Goldie Hawn?
Oh…you didn’t mean Kurt Russell…well, who’d know the difference, and you’d STILL have done more research than Fudgie!
Buddha,
Don’t be so hasty. I’d wait until after midnight tonight and see how the Asia markets perform. I wouldn’t bet on a 350+ drop (sounds like sucker money to me), but 100 points is a pretty good bet, even if Asia comes back.
And seeing as how quickly those shorts would drop and then bounce, you might miss your strike price and have a lonnnnnnnnnnnnng wait before you can make money on them.
Just my opinion.
Damn! This ups the timetable for my completion of “Conservative Islamism: The Islamic Theocratic Impulse from Qutb to Americans For Tax Reform”.
I epu’d myself.
Um, you did what, now?
I believe it’s Firedoglake jargon: from commenter Evil Parallel Universe, for when a commenter continues or begins to comment on one thread after everyone else has moved on to a new one. I think.
The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.
Southern wingnuts already attempted to fight their betters 150 years ago, and it didn’t work out too well for them. And it’s not like you knuckle-draggers have gotten any smarter since then.
Hoover Institute? They organized a foundation for a vacuum? I bet it sucks.
“But I really need some help from some of my loyal readers. You see, I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Russell Kirk.”
This looks like a job for The League Of Howlers. dum dum ta dum!
We will get right on it.
Who?
Hey — how about a purple band-aid on the happy face?
Conservative Communism: From The First International to the International House of Pancakes
Conservative Communism: From The Khmer Rouge to Kaiser Permanente
Conservative Communism: From Das Kapital to MS-DOS
Conservative Communism: From the Socialist Workers Party to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth
“The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.”
I look forward to the treason trials of you alleged “patriots with guns.” Although I won’t hold my breath, as we all know what cowards you are. You’ll take 2 steps out of your basement with your baggy fatigues and face paint, realize that it’s chilly outside, and run back inside for fear of missing Rush. You won’t lift a finger.
My suggestion for a cover pic…
…right here
Re your mock-up for ‘Conservative Communism,’ I have to quibble with the happy face…it’s meant by assholes like JG to mock liberals’ ‘sunnily naive’ worldview (or rather our sinister pose behind it while they plot our nazification programs).
The conservative logo needs to be less happy/friendly and more condescending/superior. How about simply ‘cartoonifying’ that pic of Limbaugh with the cigar and the knowitall expression, maybe.
Photoshopping the Brooks Brothers Riot?
If any one moment crystallizes the Bush Jr. Republicans’ pretensions as violent revolutionaries, that’s it. Simultaneously it is about cowardice, privilege, imitating the ‘common man’ when one is a party hack, and the repression of democracy in the Party’s interest.
‘nuther subtitle option – “…From Goldwater to Gorbachev.”
Jillian, you fucking rock. I love this. Let me get some more practice. I need to photoshop MittBot into a Fembot. Then I’ll try something.
Conservative Communism: From Marx’s MOPs to Bush’s WMDs
JK47 said,
January 21, 2008 at 18:14
….
Southern wingnuts already attempted to fight their betters 150 years ago, and it didn’t work out too well for them. And it’s not like you knuckle-draggers have gotten any smarter since then.
I always love reading that list of things northerners are supposed to remember when they visit the South. It usually includes that things would be more civil/better off if the South had won.
If you say so, Bubba, but the fact is we wouldn’t be reading this e-mail, since, thanks to your forebears’ addiction to the past, we’d all still be going without indoor plumbing, never mind the internet.
The rich white male is the Jew of Conservative Communism.
jimmiraybob said,
January 21, 2008 at 16:29
I’ve always suspected. It just always seemed like they protested a little too much. “I am NOT a communist.” “I am NOT gay.” I do NOT kick puppies.”
Just got a cover idea from that: a hand reaching under a stall divider to jack off a hammer & sickle.
The hourly-paid worker is the kulak of Conservative Communism.
Imagine a doughy pantload issuing repeated blegs on his wingnut-welfare supported blog…forever.
VI Lenin on that hip new Taylorism:
As I’ve noted before, Communist China is the People’s Republic of China. Mao originally ran as a Republican and said over and over again “We are the Republicans.”
Unchecked, conservative communism will render the Republic sans-kulaks.
El Cid, you are ON today.
Happy MLK Day, you bunch of liberal fascists, you.
A few thoughts:
Conservative Communism: From the Hegelian Dialectic to Hannah Montana
Conservative Communism: From Karl Marx to Marks and Spencer
Conservative Communism: From Berlin Wall to Border Fences
Conservative Communism: From Exploitation of the Ignorant and Fearful to the Exploitation of the Ignorant and Fearful
I call dibs on Conservative Fascism: Y’Know, Actual Fascism, Not The Made-Up Kind.
Gracias Helena.
Conservative Communism: From the Third International to the Fourth Branch of Government
Conservative Communism: From ‘What Is To Be Done’ to ‘Brownie, You’re Doin’ a Heckuva Job’
Conservative Communism: From the Central Committee to the Unitary Executive
If you say so, Bubba, but the fact is we wouldn’t be reading this e-mail, since, thanks to your forebears’ addiction to the past, we’d all still be going without indoor plumbing, never mind the internet.
That’s wrong enough to be a Jonahism! Now, what was a major factor in the utterly humiliating defeat of the South? The industries in the North, which provided canned food, uniforms, weapons, etc.
The simple truth is that if you went to the largest city in the south, Houston, you would rearely hear a Southern accent or see any indication of the glorious Confederation at all. You are utterly repudiated and forgotten. All that’s left is small pockets of, you got it, backward-looking fools addicted to the past.
And why only four more wars? How about six, ten, one hundred! All you need is money we don’t have, bodies we don’t have, and international good will. Which we also don’t have..
Even though the trolls are all parody simulations, as a native born and raised (we don’t say ‘reared’) Southern white male (before I was the Jew of liberal fascism), let me say that thank all my f***ing stars that the South got its a** kicked like it did.
Thanks also for Franklin D. Roosevelt to drag my backwards, pseudo-colonial agriculture and primary material providing, hookworm addled, malnutrition exemplifying, muddy road and no education-having region of the country kicking and screaming out of 3rd world decay and into a substantial degree of modernity.
A Pantload theme song?
In my Corner bunker and the only noise I hear
Is the sound of someone stacking chairs
And mopping up spilt beer
And someone asking questions and basking in the light
Of the fifteen fame filled minutes of the NRO writer
Bulk purchases are organised and blog-whores have been posted
Even after closing time theres still parties to be hosted
You can be active with the activists
Or sleep in with the sleepers
While youre waiting for the great leap forwards
Egads–I finally made my MittBot (with Mrs. RomBot) but Jillian, I think you’ll need a better hand at this for your project.
I’ve already reviewed Jillian’s book at Amazon and given it 5 stars! Please write to Amazon and complain about the 1 star reviews – it’s obvious those wankers have not read the book.
Conservative Communism: From the NEP to the NRO
Conservative Communism: From Slogans to Sloganeering
Conservative Communism: From Purge to Surge
You know that this kind of thing is going to lead to an unnecessary proliferation of books telling us that one thing that everyone knows is a particular way, is really, truly a totally different way, and has been forevah. So I propose my latest book project: “Everything is the Exact Fucking Same as Everything Else: The Monist Temptation From Parmenides to Mario Batali”. This pretty much corners the market, don’t you think?
I own and have read Kirk’s Watchers at the Strait Gate. It is a collection of supernatural short stories which I’m quite sure will contain something central to your point.
A selection of chapters:
Chapter I: Conserving Communism in America
Chapter II: Joe McCarthy, Disciple of Marx
Chapter III: William F. Buckley & the Rising Red Horde
Chapter VI: Reagonomics – The American Great Push Forward
Chapter XII: George W. Bush – American Communism’s Stalin?
Excerpts:
“While I am aware there there other forms of communism besides that of Stalin and Pol Pot, they do not concern me. I will not discuss shirts! I have a hard enough time finding one that fits!”
“Lenin is labeled a communist mostly because of his support for small business.”
“A tax cut is the gulag of American Communism.”
“The illegal immigrant is the bourgeoisie of American Communism.”
Re your mock-up for ‘Conservative Communism,’ I have to quibble with the happy face…it’s meant by assholes like JG to mock liberals’ ’sunnily naive’ worldview (or rather our sinister pose behind it while they plot our nazification programs).
I thought exactly the same thing.
Conservative Communism: From Cornflakes to Cheetos.
Re your mock-up for ‘Conservative Communism,’ I have to quibble with the happy face…it’s meant by assholes like JG to mock liberals’ ’sunnily naive’ worldview (or rather our sinister pose behind it while they plot our nazification programs).
The conservative logo needs to be less happy/friendly and more condescending/superior. How about simply ‘cartoonifying’ that pic of Limbaugh with the cigar and the knowitall expression, maybe.
I disagree. The cover is fine. It depicts the vast majority of Conservative Communists who can’t be bothered to do an ounce of thinking.
Who is the female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore of Conservative Communism©?
Who is the female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore of Conservative Communism?
A male Heritage Foundation intern with a political science degree from Liberty U.
You got something against living under a political system wholly controlled by a profoundly racist and deeply reactionary landed ruling elite, whose ascendancy would virtually guarantee generations of vicious, destructive racial and class struggle, with a very good possibility of eventual prolonged low-intensity warfare? C’mon, it woulda been fun!
The Economist wasn’t serious, perhaps, but that may have been central to their point.
http://www.economist.com/business/displaystory.cfm?story_id=10311230
LD said,
So, neo-con chickenhawks vs. Hillbilly-Rednecks eh?
I’m hoping it will be neo-com chicken-necks vs. Hillbilly red hawks with frickin’ laser beams strapped to their heads.
Awesome idea! But on the cover, you should use the red sickle for the smile. The hammer will of course represent the staple that seals the lips.
“Adam Smith and David Ricardo . . . laid the foundations of the labor theory of value. Marx continued their work…”
– Lenin, Sources and Component Parts of Marxism
I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.
Yes Tom Brady is a great passer, but hey now Gary come on! You my not like the Giants, but that is no reason for name calling!
Conservative Communism: From the Long March to the Wide Stance
Conservative Communism: From Granma to Gitmo
Conservative Communism: From the Finland Station to the Straight Talk Express
Conservative Communism: From the Zafra of ’70 to the Steamroom of ’06
Conservative Communism: From Two, Three, Many Vietnams to a Doubled Guantanamo
From Wikipedia:
“In 1933 Joseph Stalin introduced a new criminal code that made homosexuality a crime punishable by five years of hard labor. The Soviet government treated homosexuality as crime against the state akin to espionage.”
I’m sure there are quotes somewhere.
LD said, I’m sorry to throw cold water in everyones neck, but I have to say that unfortunately Jillian is simply not qualified to write this sort of book.
For starters, Jillian’s job at Sadly No (and relatively the opportunity to write the book) was not arranged on a silver platter by her mother…
No no no, wealth, nepotism, and a mind uncluttered by thought are the requirements to write about Liberalism. To write about Conservatism one should be lower middle class, self-made, and highly educated. The best option would be a female grade school teacher who went to Swarthmore or Brown(full scholarship). Vegan lesbian would be a definite plus.
Thanks also for Franklin D. Roosevelt to drag my backwards, pseudo-colonial agriculture and primary material providing, hookworm addled, malnutrition exemplifying, muddy road and no education-having region of the country kicking and screaming out of 3rd world decay and into a substantial degree of modernity.
Ah-HAH!!!
Fascists like to drag people, especially the kicking and screaming types.
Franklin D. Roosevelt dragged kicking and screaming type people.
Therefore, Franklin D. Roosevelt was a fascist.
Q.E. motherfuckin’ D.!!!1! [high-fives Jonah]
I think this is a great idea, but you should perhaps focus on something more disturbing to Conservatives. The commie threat has been more or less replaced in recent years.
Perhaps comparing Conservatives to Muslim Radicals? You need a topic that strums at the visceral heartstrings of conservatives as well as the populace.
Since Muslim baiting has become a national conservative sport (and thusly a national media sport), it would hit them right where they deserve.
Below the belt.
Noah’s on to something, but I think instead you should compare conservatives to the Farmworkers union – particularly their inherent Mexican culture.
deeply religious, strong family ties, great work ethic? Conservatives are Mexicans!
“The quintessential conservative communist isn’t a bearded revolutionary; it is a male newspaper columnist who likes to act like he has an economics degree from the University of Chicago.”
“The quintessential conservative communist is not the Cheka agent patrolling the gulag, but a female leader of the Home Owners’ Association delivering a warning to keep the yard more properly mowed.”
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said @ 12.00,
But that’s probably only because I’d call the flowers lupins. Not being a North American and all, I don’t need an extra ‘e’ to make me feel special.
Not being a native English-speaker, I couldn’t be arsed to look up the spelling, though I thought it sounded a bit off. Thanks for the correction. …You NAZI!
and again @ 12:02,
Sigh. I don’t mean to be cantankerous and all, I really don’t. Perhaps I need a lie down. Or a job. Or just to indulge my pathetic whining by myself rather than in public.
Fuck no! After all, what else are the internets for?
Oh, porn, right.
Of course! Stalin denounced homosexuality as a “[liberal] fascist perversion”!
Jillian & Jeff:
The titlist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from Mao Zedong to the Hoover Institute”.
The photoshoppist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from the Hoover Institute to Mao Zedong”.
Can’t we just get along?
Holy fuck, “Fjordman” actually links Pantload in his latest screed over at Gates of Vienna. Fascism is left-wing, Fjordman has stated it, dammit! I just wrote it up and wrote that fine, they can then be a bunch of left-wingers since they’re so damned insistent on it all.
Noah’s on to something, but I think instead you should compare conservatives to the Farmworkers union – particularly their inherent Mexican culture.
It’s all the same thing, really. Growers and grower-friendly newspapers in the San Joaquin Valley frequently called Chavez and the UFW communists.
Centrally controlled economy? Can you say “Fed discount rate”?
Conservative Communism: From the Long March to the Wide Stance
Pure, unadulterated genius.
I want a tshirt with the cover designed by the inimitable Jeff Fecke with this as the title. And I want it now.
The titlist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from Mao Zedong to the Hoover Institute”.
The photoshoppist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from the Hoover Institute to Mao Zedong”.
Can’t we just get along?
Consistency is for fascists.
The truth is, as Jonah Goldberg so eliquently pointed out in his book, …
Uh huh. YOU read it. Cover to cover, right? Sure ya did, frat boy.
And don’t dangle your participles, it’s rude.
Our fight for a revolution, our preparatory work for the revolution must also be our merciless fight against liberalism for influence over the masses. . .
– Lev Trotsky, The Events in Petersburg
For no less than in the economic sphere, the great success of the Reagan Revolution in foreign and defense policy reflects not just particular changes in discrete policies, but rather a transformation in our underlying sense of what America is and what it can accomplish. In effecting this second transformation, the role played by Heritage has again been vital . . .
William J Bennett, Completing the Reagan Revolution
I think the Pantload’s Magnum Doofus needs a slightly different response. Conservative Communism is great, but a bit predictable.
Why not go with Jonah’s principle of redefining a very loaded term without saying so on the cover, then proving in the book that it applies to your smear victims under the new definition?
Something like Conservative Child-molesting, where “child molesting” is defined as “being a Rush-listening, librul-bashing, tax-hating jingo monkey”?
Two words. War Czar.
I rest my case.
Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?
The hourly-paid worker is the kulak of Conservative Communism.
I thought that said Koala.
I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.
Well, shit, that’ll certainly make the Super Bowl more interesting.
And shorter.
Don’t worry, Gary, just stay in the basement.
The “T” in Russell T. Kirk stands for “Trotsky.”
Hey, Susan from Texas, I think you misread me, I was mocking the South’s backwardness (and pride about it), not celebrating it.
The fourmorewars is from a collection of suggested Bush/Cheney bumperstickers, from about 2004 — ‘Bush/Cheney: Four More Wars!’
And I liked Purge to Surge, btw. Among many others here.
…but a female leader of the Home Owners’ Association delivering a warning to keep the yard more properly mowed.”
I’ve been calling them the Community Communist Congress for years now.
Heh. Satire, reality, what’s the difference?
You definitely need to lose the happy face, for reasons already mentioned. May I suggest a cartoon image of Ronald Reagan?
As per J– above:
Ack, it ate my picture. Here it is: Reagan with Stalin ‘stache.
Heh. Good work.
I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.
I admit that Tom Brady has a great arm, but it’s a metaphorical weapon, Fake Gary, not a real one. Y’know, like pretending to be a he-man on the intertubes and owning a gun don’t confer actual manhood.
Paddy Mac, you are a spineless liberal sissy! Myself, Gary Ruppert and Saul are Conservative Patriots with guns who will fight the fascist left tooth and nail if they ever attempt to impose socialism in America.
Hey, Earbucket, thanks for doing that. The mustache gives St. Ronald a Juan Vicent Gómez vibe. Venezuelans used to joke that Gómez and Stalin were separated at birth.
Wouldn’t the fascists impose fascism instead of socialism?
Hey, Jillian, check it out. Slowly, ever so slowly, Goldberg inches his way toward the black hole that is linking to Sadly, No! At the Liberal Fascism blog, another one them “From A Reader” posts:
Sullivan’s cheap shot:
Keep up the good work. It’s only a matter of time before we have Goldberg down here in the comments duking it out with Saul and company for the title of Troll O’ the Week.
Hey Bastion, we have social security, medicare, medicaid, the department of education, and now even Republican candidates are proposing government expansion of health care. When are you planning to pick up those guns and start fighting?
When are you planning to pick up those guns and start fighting?
He keeps trying, but for some reason the damn things only seem to work with the playstation…
mikey
If you will send me one blurb from the back of the dust jacket cover — preferably something written by another serious scholar, with the requisite scholarly detachment (say, like Peter Schweitzer reviewing Doughy Loadpants’ book) — I’ll immediately click over to Amazon and start writing 5-star reviews under my 11-teen avatars.
From page 161 of Orlando Figes’ “The Whisperers: Private Life in Stalin’s Russia”:
You have no idea how feasible this project is.
Cut the crap – call it Conservative Juche!
In all seriousness, the Jonah Goldbergs of the world might want to read “Up from Communism” by John P. Diggins. It’s a conservative historian chronicling the ways in which leading figures of the postwar conservative movement in America were, of all things, one-time communists.
http://www.amazon.com/Communism-Conservative-Odysseys-American-Intellectual/dp/B000J0KT9S/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200963166&sr=8-2
Since many of the leading luminaries of modern conservatism — including one from the National Review, James Burnham — were one-time communists, this is ironclad Goldbergian proof that all conservatives are ipso facto communists.
Myself, Gary Ruppert and Saul are Conservative Patriots with guns who will fight the fascist left tooth and nail
If you have guns, why bother fighting with tooth and nail? You guys don’t make any sense.
“The illegal immigrant is the bourgeoisie of American Communism.”
I’d change that to “The illegal immigrant is the kulak of American Communism.”
It’s true too – they are both mythical “parasites” that can be scapegoated for all kinds of other problems.
The funny thing is that everyone is joking about this but Ive been saying for years that the modern conservative movement resembles the Bolsheviks more than anything else.
They are not “communists” but the truth is that this book could be written and would be a whole lot closer to the truth than Pantload’s.
Conservative Communism: From the Long March to the Wide Stance
OMG THAT IS THE BEST!!!
Stalin could double agricultural & industrial production in the USSR simply by writing up a 5-Year plan; today’s movement Conservatives create their own reality (by violence) & weak-kneed lib’rul moonbats in the “Liberal Media” can only react w/awe to the conservative reality creation (get the White House aide’s quote from c. 2003; we all know it) the same way the peasants had to scramble to meet Uncle Joe’s fiat, or be killed . . .
Oh yes, the Cult of the Leader is awfully similar too. Kim Il-Sung is a minor deity in N. Korea, succeeded by his defective & loony son, Kim Jung-Il. Geo. H.W. Bush is not yet a deity in this country, tho’ his boss, St. Ronnie of the Death Squads certainly is to conservatives. Bush was succeeded by an insane, sociopathic son who overcompensates for his inferiority to dad (Bush Sr. & Kim I.S. were both war heroes in WW II also!) by provoking wars & fashioning himself an omnipotent, inerrant dictator who rules from “the gut”. (Admittedly, Korea’s Kim overcompensates for being a runt; W. for being an intellectual runt (or dyslexic “moron”), alcoholic and failure at every endeavor he’s ever attempted.
Myself, Gary Ruppert and Saul are Conservative Patriots with guns who will fight the fascist left tooth and nail–over the last of the antipsychotics.
There, fixed.
Actually, it’s not a bad idea.
Conservative Communism is just another name for Social Conservatism. It all started with the conservative Jesus who lashed out at the liberal Jews, because they were trading in “his father’s” temple.
The truth is, illegal aliens are problem number one for America at this time, even more so than the islamo-fascists and the homosexual agenda. The illegal aliens come here unlawfully while millions of people around the world are waiting in line at their American embassy lawfully! It is not fair to American Citizens and it is not fair to Legal Immigrants that these illegal aliens should come here and recieve anything but deportation. They come here illegally, steal our jobs, don’t speak English, don’t assimilate and break the law in a larger percentage than American Citizens and Legal Immigrants. If our borders are not secured and the 12-20 million illegal aliens are not deported than our Country will be corrupted morally, economically and culturally and will cease to exist as we know it!
I’m sick of this nonsense. You are ignorant and mean. I am surrounded by illegal aliens who take beautiful care of their children, work horrible jobs, often in 100 degree heat, go to church, and share with us their ancient and fascinating culture. Their kids speak English and work in our offices, stores, schools and government. The dads help strangers, the moms teach their kids manners. They are, on the whole, great people that don’t deserve your smug, stupid scorn. If you can’t handle it it’s your problem.
The truth is, illegal aliens are problem number one for America at this time, even more so than the islamo-fascists and the homosexual agenda.
More important than a made-up term coined by idiots and a non-existent crusade feared by morons? Do tell!
Oh Bravo, Jillian! Bravo!!
Folks, arguing with Booger (or Saul, as he sometimes calls himself) is a waste of time. I get the impression he’s a kid, and I doubt if he believes most of what he yammers about – he’s just trying to stir up shit. I strongly recommend ignoring him.
Susan my friend, if they are such wonderful moral people why did they illegally cross the Rio Grande instead of waiting in line like the rest of immigrants the world over? Our grandparents and great-grandparents immigrated here the right way LEGALLY, WHAT PART OF THE WORD ILLEGAL IN ILLEGAL ALIEN DO NOT NOT UNDERSTAND?
It’s late in the thread but there are a few obvious straw men ready to take up arms to help link modern conservatism to it’s heretofore unacknowledged communist patrimony.
Dear Leader. Cult of Personality. Party loyalty above all.
And, more abstractly, a shared moral call to spread uniquely perfect system of true rule by the people for the people to all nations despite their loud protestations of not wanting it via any means necessary.
I think we should call them NeoComs.
Snorghagen my foolish liberal friend, I am a Conservative who fully believes everything I “yammer” on about. Its called convictions maybe you should get some.
I don’t argue, I slap down. Someone too stupid to understand the desperation of living in a place of poverty and/or war doesn’t deserve an arguemt.
I do agree that the booger is undoubtedly a child who cuts and pastes from the grown-up sites. I don’t argue with children. I pat them on the head and tell them that the grown-ups are talking, so go watch tv or play a video game.
A child with convictions, Susan. As in juvie, I suppose.
NeoComs
That’s good.
I know some lawyers who could help him with that.
I suppose I should be more tolerant. Children should be encouraged to participate in democracy, even if they don’t understand it yet.
I understand democracy perfectly, I realize that the illegal aliens are turning our Great Nation into a third world seaspool and should be deported. And by the way I also live in Texas where I work as a Sherrif’s Deputy, I have had more experience with illegal aliens than probably anyone else on this forum sister.
why did they illegally cross the Rio Grande instead of waiting in line like the rest of immigrants the world over?
Because they’re in one of the two countries where you can walk here?
Do you seriously think that if we shared a border with Lithuania, we wouldn’t have hordes of them sneaking in here too? If Ghanans were able to swim a river and be in Texas, they wouldn’t do it in a heartbeat?
And I’d be careful about all the immigrant bashing. Given your inability to speak English, you’d probably be rounded up in the first wave of deportations.
Seaspool?
I also live in Texas where I work as a Sherrif’s Deputy
Oh, that’s so cute! Did they give you a little badge?
You’d think a Sheriff’s Deputy would be able to spell “Sheriff.”
Hell, anyone who’s watched the Andy Griffith Show can spell it.
In his previous incarnation here he was a conservative rabbi who didn’t know what day the sabbath was on. Not exactly the sharpest tack in the pack.
Say, wait a minute – I think TR and Bryan are on to something here, regarding Dept’y Booger’s immigration status.
“Seaspool”?!? Doesn’t that have a bit of a “South-of the border” ring to it?
As in “Wha’ choo doin’ in that seas-pool, Meester Booger?”
We’re on to you, Deputy – or should I say “Seen-yor”!?!!?!!1!
Is Texas technically in the Heartland? Can I get a ruling on this? I live in Texas too and Bastion/Saul/Gary is bravely defending my seaspool as a sherrif’s deputy. I didn’t thinkt the Heartland was by the seas…
Or did he mean “Sharif’s” deputy? Is he deep cover mole of the Islamic horde?
Hi Jillian,
If you’re going to do it right, you HAVE to draw a parallel between Project S.T.R.A.I.G.H.T (the Synanon-inspired anti-drug program that’s all the rage within the GOP) and Mao’s reeducation camps.
I’d also dig up Lenin’s writings about currency manipulation for a nice comparative analysis of the Greenspan era.
Good luck!
Mao’s reeducation camps.
Sounds like the ex-gay movement to me.
The truth is, homosexuals can be transformed into heterosexuals by accepting Jesus Christ as their Personal Lord and Savior and by repenting of the sin of homosexuality.
I’m sorry,Señor. No Habla Espanol!
Perhaps we should do this with all the trolls, as their lingo is truly unintelligible…
The truth is,
homosexuals“Christians” can be transformed intoheterosexualsdecent human beings byaccepting Jesus Christ as their Personal Lord and Saviornot obsessing about gay sex and byrepenting of the sin of homosexuality.minding their own fucking business.Edited for accuracy.
Former KGB agent Vladimir Putin looked into George W. Bush’s, Dick Cheney’s, Jonah Goldberg’s and Bill Kristol’s souls and recognized kindred spirits. (You can quote me on this in your excellent book about the obvious links between communism and conservatism).
I am curious, though, what will be on the back cover? The smiley face with the hammer and sickle on the front. Maybe the smiley face’s rear end on the back…mooning?
And the similarities between communism and conservatism? Where does one begin?
Monopolists. No-bid contracts handed out to crony pals or family members. Censorship of naughty words and nudity on television (not just prostitution). Give lip-service to liberty, when the only liberty that matters to either a communist or a conservative is their own. Thus, there is no “independent judiciary” in either a communist-controlled or conservative-controlled country, whether secular or religious. Rule of law? The only law in a communist-controlled or conservative-controlled society is the “law of the jungle,” that is, who can lie, cheat and steal (and even kill) their way to dominance in any society indicates that they must be superior to all the peasants. (Thus, certain Republican lawyers twisting and distorting the “rule of law” in our country, with George W. Bush attaching a record number of “signing statements” to constitutionally-passed legislative bills decreeing what he will or will not observe and implement…totally bypassing the U.S. Constitution and the “rule of law”).
Yep, Vladimir Putin definitely saw his ideological soul-mates in these conversative clowns.
I could go on and on, but then I’d have to write a book, and I might get terminal finger cramps, and then I’d have to go on The Daily Show or the Colbert Report with my gnarly fingers and do a book promo. Nosiree.
Oracle, in a conservative society, man exploits man. With communism, it’s the other way around.
How about:
Conservative Communism:from the Grand Inquisitor to the Noble Lie
Thesis: There is linear progression from the Grand Inquisitor to The Possesed to the Noble Lie. Dostoyevsky depicted the communists of his era as possesed of devils. It can be empirically proven that conservatives are possesed of devils. This can be proven by the fact that the Grand Inquisitor is a religious authoritatian and envoy of Satan. Of course, the Grand Inquisitor is just a fictional character but we should not let such minor quibbles distract us from that which we aim to prove. From there it is a minor step to the Noble Lie, which is the quintessence of conservative commmunism. This dissertation will seek to prove that the Noble Lie is the mythical diabolical conspiracy that seeks to create a communal consciousness, which is the perfect distillation of the communist project.
The path to the capitalist utopia is through communist indoctrination of the Noble Lie. This may seem like a contradiction but it actually proves my point.
Since everyone here loves LOLcats so much, I just want to say that Maggie Kitler has no further territorial ambitions in Europe.
A specter is haunting Sadly No — the specter of Conservative Communism!
Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Conspiracy From Lenin to Scaife
Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Conspiracy From Worker’s Paradise to Happy Meals
Conservative Communism: The Secret History of the American Right, From Karl Marx to Karl Rove
[…] 22, 2008 Sadly No! has a book proposal for your attention. Posted by stevenhart Filed in […]
Booger–does that mean that I can magically have my orientation changed as well? I do so want to come out, but it’s just not the same being straight….
In the spirit of collectivist enterprise inherent in conservative communism, I’ve taken the liberty of writing the introduction for Jillian’s book. Hope you like it.
Nice intro, Johnny Pez. And I fear you’re right: there is indeed a sphincter haunting us.
The truth is, homosexuals can be transformed into heterosexuals by accepting Jesus Christ as their Personal Lord and Savior and by repenting of the sin of homosexuality.
Jesus was gay, BB. Didn’t you know that? By saying this, you’re condemned to hell.
Suddenly I’m wondering if Dep’ty Booger is allowed one bullet, to keep in his pocket, or if they just keep the firearms locked up when he’s around.
Bastion Booger said,
January 22, 2008 at 4:13
And by the way I also live in Texas where I work as a Sherrif’s Deputy
TRANSLATION:
They give me the toilet brush and I clean the bowls.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Ding fries are done, Ding fries are done…
Conservative Communiism: The Collectivist Coquetry from the Kremlin’s Hall to Purity Balls
Damn it.
Conservative Communiism: The Collectivist Coquetry from the Kremlin’s Halls to Purity Balls
Damn it again.
Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Coquetry from the Kremlin’s Hall to Purity Balls
Damn it all to fucking hell.
Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Coquetry from the Kremlin’s Halls to Purity Balls
Conservative Communism: Fuck You Buddy
Could you maybe use the Mr. Monopoly (Rich Uncle Pennybags) rather than the smiley face? He’d look cool waiving a hammer and sickle flag.
better dead than red.
Conservative Communism: The Authoritarian Allure from Lenin’s Dacha to Vitter’s Diaper
Conservative Communism: The Authoritarian Allure from Lenin’s Dacha to Vitter’s Diaper
Har.
Conservative Communism: The Authoritarian Allure from the Party Congress to Congressional Pages
Suggestion for the dust jacket:
The quintessential Conservative Communist isn’t a Stalinist thug; it is an Evangelical Christian woman with a Home Ec degree from Liberty U or Bob Jones.
Conservative Communism: From the Red Army to the Red States
“The truth is, illegal aliens are problem number one for America at this time”
Wrong again booger breath……
http://www.reuters.com/article/bondsNews/idUSN2222431520080122
Using Jeff Fecke’s cover as my starting point, here’s my stab at a cover for this serious and influential book.
Nice, Dean.
Conservative Communism: From Firing Squads to ‘Firing Line’
Great book idea, but you have to follow up with a blog about the book where you’ll only publish letters that heap praise and glory on you. Use lots of “my enemies are children” metaphors. Tell people who have spent their lives studying communism that they’re just “banging their spoons on their high chair” when they critique your book. It will be AWESOME!!1!
WHAT PART OF THE WORD ILLEGAL IN ILLEGAL ALIEN DO NOT NOT UNDERSTAND?
What part of JEW in WHITE AMERICAN MALE do not not can understands now?
What Goldberg can’t get through his thick head is that his enemies are reason and logic. He tortures, rapes and perverts both in order to “prove” that liberalism is inherently the provenance of fascism. You don’t have to rape and murder athena and apollo to find the provenance of fascism. Its provenace is evil, megalomaniacal, psychopathological, rascist, infinite, bottomless avariciousness, rapaciousness, lust and greed, the seven deadly sins that conservatives love so much perverted to abomination like Goldberg’s logic.
Here is an example of the abomination that is Goldberg’s logic. He manitains that Mussolini began as a socialist. Well, he later repudiated and fought rabidly against the socialists. And who did he join in order to fight against the socialists? Get this. The right wing conservative fascists!
The truth is, space aliens are problem number one for America at this time, even more so than the xian supremacists and the forced-birth agenda. The space aliens come here unlawfully while millions of people around the world are waiting in line at their American Express office lawfully! It is not fair to American Citizens and it is not fair to dwarves, gnomes, yetis and chupacabras that these space aliens should come here and recieve anything but deportation. They come here invisibly, steal our purity of essence, – they *do* assimilate, I’ll have to give you that one – don’t speak English and OH I could go on! If our borders are not secured and the 12-20 million space aliens are not deported than our Country will be corrupted morally, economically and culturally and will cease to exist as we know it! They’re here! THEY ARE ALREADY HERE!
I have the perfect source material for you.
First, anti-Communists (even ones in 2008 like Idaho rep Curtis Bowers) often like the work of W. Cleon Skousen. The former FBI agent in 1958 published I have the perfect source material for you.
First, anti-Communists (even ones in 2008 like Idaho rep Curtis Bowers) often like the work of W. Cleon Skousen. The former FBI agent in 1958 published “The Naked Communist”, in which he lays out the Communist Agenda To Destroy America some of which involves corrupting the morals of American youths so that our great country rots from the inside.
But Skousen also published The Naked Capitalist in which he also shows that the top players in International Capitalism have a similar goal in world domination and play the same – but this gets little notice from the Anti-Communists.
Hell, Capitalists are interested (short term) in corrupting morals in the USA because they can make a bucks from it. Think of all the Capitalist hotel chain owners that contract to Capitalist hotel-porn providers to jack up room bills.
One little know fact is that after Gerald Ford’s Presidency, when he was “compensated” by giving him lots of Board of Directors positions, he wound up on the board of the first pan-and-scan hotel-porn company (prototypical “pan-and-scan hotel-porn” involves converting a “real porn” film through judicious sub-framing into something that never shows any naughty-bits but still contains the heaving backs and audio groans.)
You should ignore sources like Scopes that say that it is just an Urban Legend that Communists are working to corrupt America.
Most conservative commentators have been silent on Jillian’s new book. I think we must take this as proof they know it’s true.
Some have have responded, though. I think we must take this as proof that Jillian has hit a nerve.
China currently has a government which does not allow gay marriage. The same is true of the conservatives.
Like the Communists, conservatives believe that national security is more important than individual freedom. (Russia, for example, had quite a lot of laws that invaded personal privacy in order to protect the nation from the United States during the Cold War.)
Communism and conservatism are both strongly opposed to such liberal ideas as “freedom of speech” and “the right to privacy.”
Also, conservatives frequently say that they wish to “spread democracy” to other lands, often through the use of war. Communism is democratic and republican (with a lower-case r, to denote a republic as a system of government). It’s right there in the names of the countries: the People’s Republic of China, the Democratic Republic of Korea, The People’s Democratic Republic of the Congo….
in all seriousness, it has been often noted that there is indeed a lot of similarity between Stalinism and today’s neo-conservatives. – r€nato
Moreover, Rhetoric of Reaction (I forget the author) noted the origins of much of Lenin’s thought in the conservative thinking of Mosca, Pareto, et al.
This thesis is far more valid than Jonah’s …
You post appears to be jokiing, however there appears to be a serious book by the name Conservative Communism that is in the hopper. Check the following URL.
http://stumpspeak.blogspot.com/2008/01/conservative-communism.html
Well, if “Conservative Communism” is already taken, can I suggest (following up on a poster upthread):
Christian Islam: Scriptural Orthropraxy from Mecca to Megachurch
It’s got the word “orthopraxy” in the title, so it’s bound to sell well.
The fact is,liberals often have guns and learned how to use them while Gary was still drinking from a sippy cup.
Last Tuesday?
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
The fact is,liberals often have guns and learned how to use them while Gary was still drinking from a sippy cup.
Last Tuesday?
OK, this is the Irony Police come to whump on your ass just after we ask you what did you mean by that, that liberals are early or conservatves are late? Your cell at partyup-mano awaits.
I would only suggest that you start off with the subtitle “From Karl Marx to Karl Rove”, but then take so long to finish the book that you’re able to substitute the name of whoever ends up as the GOP Presidential nominee. Viz.:
“From Joseph Stalin to John McCain”
“From Mao Zedong to Mitt Romney”
“From Leon Trotsky to Mike Huckabee”
…or alternatively, to pin it on a movement guy more likely to have long-range effect:
“From Rosa Luxembourg to Rush Limbaugh”
[…] so I can’t can’t offer a review. But I have been following the flame wars and other internet drama surrounding Liberal Fascism since it was announced as an upcoming book on Amazon long, long […]
Been done.
http://stumpspeak.blogspot.com/2008/01/conservative-communism.html
Made it into a vehicle
kirk was not a member of the SRNZ (the socialist republic of New Zealand), http://socialistrepublicofnz.wetpaint.com/
as it was not founded until 2008.
Liberalism in the US is an offshoot of our two party system, and not “communism”. National Socialism never had anything to do with the left. From the start the first cadres of the SA, were originated in the Freikorps whose purpose was to murder German leftists. Hitler viewed as his mission to slaughter the Jews for having created communism in order to destroy Germany. The nation and the state are sacred to the rightists and fascists of this world. You can learn most of this by actually sitting down and reading the madness that is “Mein Kampf”. Hitler was out to destroy the left from the start. In fact “liberalism” and “conservatism” in the US are so neutered and centrist that there is little actual difference between the two when it comes to concrete actions in power. Take Obama, who has pursued a program in office so far indistinguishable from that of Bush save on the level of empty rhetoric designed for the benefit of those the Bush’s and Obama’s of this world have nothing but contempt–that is ordinary American workers with no particular politcal views whatsoever. Obama has proven to be a disaster for every retired, current and future autoworker, and he’s given us a third war instead of two. Liberals and conservatives think they are different but they come out of the same “enlightenment” that gave birth to the US, and the first French republic.
The thing is that we need to differentiate at all times the rhetoric of politics from the reality of what the leaders actually do. So turn off the TV and the streaming web news coverage, read a few newspapers and start judging the wealthy and powerful by their deeds. Stalin and Hitler weren’t aberrations, they were reactions to the loss of power and prestige of the empires they were a part of. Stalin was called the “great helmsman” because he was viewed as a centrist. Hitler too was viewed as a “centrist” by many. I would say on the contrary that most of the dictators and tyrants of the world occupy a political “center” and those on the left or right of them become targets of their “order”.