Shorter Bryan Fischer
Posted on January 20th, 2008 by Gavin M.
Separation of Church and State: Straight from the Mind of Hitler
- If that Jonas Goldblatt guy on TV can get away with this crap, then by Jingo, I want a piece of the action.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
I’m just going to slip this in here. Not saying anything, just click the link. Weiner poopie.
There’s an add before the real fun starts, sorry. And get your SUV’s from Fox Kia!
*ad, even. Damn coffee.
The objective of the Nazi regime was virtually identical to the agenda of today’s ACLU:
As a dues paying member of the ACLU, I eagerly anticipate our imminent invasion of Poland.
“As a dues paying member of the ACLU, I eagerly anticipate our imminent invasion of Poland.”
Oh great, even more fund-raising letters a-comin’…
Ok, these people have officially lost contact with reality.
I’m pretty sure they’re my employers.
Let me quote the brilliant HTML Mencken here.
Blaaarrggghhhh….
mikey
Hitler and America’s founding fathers: partners in tyranny.
And I thought, something like that is gonna be safe in your yard! It wasn’t…..It wasn’t.
“Johnson, incensed at some non-profit organizations for opposing his most recent run for office, suspended the sword of the IRS over the necks of any religious leader who would dare to stand for justice and truth in the nation’s political life.”
Which explains why Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King remained an obscure agitator in the South, and never got a national holiday in his memory.
On the MLK Holiday weekend, too! Do these people take classes on obtuseness and irony, or does it come naturally?
Wow, this guy bangs out the stupid like Lucianne’s little boy:
“While churches may still today distribute non-partisan voter guides, and pastors are free to speak to the moral issues of the day, watchdogs from the ACLU and other leftist groups are lurking around every corner, looking to pounce on any religious leader who would dare use his influence to help shape the direction of America’s public policy.”
Because distributing voter guides and making sermons on ‘the moral issues of the day’ cannot possibly, never ever ever, have any influence on the congregations’ political views. Never.
Great find, guys. It’s why we read S,N!
The shorter’s longer than the title, which serves well as a funny shorter in itself.
“Just this week, an IRS investigation has been requested by Americans United into a pastor who endorsed Barack Obama from his pulpit last Sunday. In a free country, he should be free to do so without fear that his voice will be strangled by the federal government.”
A tax-exempt status is like oxygen: losing it means painful death. And we all know that without tax-free status, a pastor cannot speak on street corners, call into talk radio, write letters to newspapers, or use any other means of expression.
These slogans, mind you, do not come from the United States Constitution or from Thomas Jefferson or from the mind of the Founding Fathers. These slogans come straight from the mind of Adolph Hitler, and bear a sobering similarity to the mantras of the ACLU, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State and the Freedom from Religion Foundation.
Here they are, straight from the mind of Adolph Hitler:
“Politics do not belong in the Church.”
“The Church must be separate from the State.”
Because “… Americans have erected a wall of separation between church and state,” (Jefferson) in no way implies “the Church must be separate from the State.” We all know that the best way to commingle two entities is to build a wall between them.
So is the parallel between Jefferson and Hilter true or false, pastor? Maybe we’d better call Lucianne’s boy, and ask him which would be better evidence of Liberal Fascism. (I suspect he’d answer, “both!”)
This machine kills fascists from 1943. I wonder when he first came up with it?
Forgive me if G.G. Allin isn’t as legendary as I think, but I saw this and thought of y’all punk lovin freaks.
I’d have liked GG if his songs were any good. Also, he never delivered the promised massacre. And now there’s Metalocalypse.
“There were footprints in front of it, and behind it”
OK, that’s just FREAKY !!!!
“While churches may still today distribute non-partisan voter guides, and pastors are free to speak to the moral issues of the day, watchdogs from the ACLU and other leftist groups are lurking around every corner, looking to pounce on any religious leader who would dare use his influence to help shape the direction of America’s public policy.”
I so enjoy watching these folks bleat and whine about this, because of course there is nothing preventing any church from being as political as they want to be; they just have to give up their tax exemption if they want to be overtly political. That’s all, that’s the whole complaint, the whole issue.
As tax exempt – therefore effectively government subsidized – entities, churches (and synagogues, mosques, pagodas, what-have-you) are ostensibly required to stay out of the political process. Despite the fact that this ostensible rule is as full of holes as a Jonah Goldberg thought – as evidenced by the Christian Right as it exists today – any church that is willing to give up its tax status can be as political as they want.
So the issue, as it has always been, is not a matter of religious freedom or expression, but a question of maintaining ones organizational tax status and government subsidies. Render unto Caesar indeed…
The objective of the Nazi regime was virtually identical to the agenda of today’s ACLU
Hey, this guy forgot to put in the usual Goldberg disclaimer about how he isn’t really accusing actual liberals today of being actual fascists.
Now who would have ever have predicted that?
Another question: if by chance you should google “Nazi priests” you get some real interesting photos:
http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&q=Nazi+priests&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2
“And I thought, something like that is gonna be safe in your yard! It wasn’t…..It wasn’t.”
The horror. The horror…
On the other hand–Poopy!
any church that is willing to give up its tax status can be as political as they want.
There’s no need for them to give up their tax status. It’s not as if congregations are limited to what’s said in the pulpit on Sunday, or anything else that happens within the church walls for that matter.
The Christian Right could follow the tax rules to the letter and still be pretty fucking organized.
McCain’s acceptance speech just now was funny because there was some non-descript “metal band” music playing as he was tying to get it started and I kept waiting for him to have a “goddammmittt, get off my lawn !!!!” moment.
Also, Peggy Noonan on MSNBC is comedy gold.
please resume your normal conversations….
The Christian Right could follow the tax rules to the letter and still be pretty fucking organized.
In fact a lot of them do; oh but how unfair of the fascists of the ACLU to monitor to ensure that the churches are at least ostensibly playing by the rules in exchange for their government welfare (tax exemption)! Don’t they understand that the churches are the utterly non-fascist stormtroopers of god and should be allowed to do whatever they want and STILL receive their government hand-outs?
Unlike all the wrong and stupid Marxists I will agree with Joseph Stalin and say that the American ACLU of the Americas is of the fascists.
“stormtroopers of god”
good band name. Not a “lot” of crossover potential but good name.
Look, three on the words in the “ACLU” acronym are liberal and/or fascist: “civil,” “union,” liberties.”
Civil: Really, what are they trying to say with the word “civil?” They of course mean rapacious devotion to the state.
Union: It’s only one word from “civil unions,” which in turn is only one step from “gay marriage” and thus is the same as “homofascism.”
Liberties: When the ACLU isn’t being fascist, they’re being overtly liberal! Q.E.D.
The only American word in the ACLU’s acronym is “American.” And really, couldn’t they go with a word even more American if they wanted to truely support the Heartland? Like “Jesus?” JCLU?
Hitler was pro-military.
Republicans are pro-military.
Therefore, Republicans are exactly like Nazis in every which way, and probably read Mein Kampf everyday before their breakfast of kitten blood and hatred of freedom.
Wow. That’s easy as fuck. Can I get paid for this, too?
good band name. Not a “lot” of crossover potential but good name.
Just ran it through the great Gazoogle and it doesn’t look like the name has been taken by a band… 🙂
Oops. RSS.
No, because Republicans are in favor of the military in a totally different way than the Nazis, who were fascist and therefore of the left. The Republicans are for the troops in the good patriot American conservative freedom way, but the Nazis were for the troops who were not Americans and were like grade school teachers who are of the left.
Just back from the theater, where the missus and I and our lovely little daughter saw the most marvelous dramatic performance, as on the stage, though there wasn’t a stage per se, but more of an open area in the middle of the room, and that tall handsome Brad chap was most enjoyable to follow, as were all of his fellow thespians, and soubrettes, and the like. It was quite remarkable, really.
Oh, that wasn’t what you were talking about?
Very well. I’ll just sit over here, then.
Yes! Yes! Oh please let the raving idiots leap forth in droves to ride upon the capacious coattails of Der LœdedHösen.
Let each one claim Lucianne’s little pantyload as his inspiration.
Let the world come to associate the author of “I am rubber you are glue,” with the street corner prophets of doom. The feverish maniacs who burn out the printers of Kinko’s copying their 20 page manifestos on the perils of the new world order. The paranoid fuck who wears three pairs of pants because he knows gay black guys are coming to rape him to death and steal his car.
Let them follow JLoad from city to city, town to town, worshiping, adoring and scaring the crap out of everyone with their gibbers and shrieks until whenever Johan shows his face in public, people point and laugh!
Wheeee!
When is the ACLU going to remilitarize the Rhineland? I pay my dues. I want to see ACLU tanks rolling across the Rhine, verdammt!!1!
The fact is, liberals want to be able to use churches for politics, but will not allow conservatives to do so. This is biased and cannot be allowed.
Holy shit, this guy gets even better. He runs the Idaho Values Alliance, which is a totally straight-up non-partisan non profit.
Here’s an example of their non-partisan, issues-oriented voting guide.
Hilarious. Doesn’t seem like IRS regulations are hurting this guy any.
Bryan Fischer writes
Ha! It’s like all the things that we make fun of actually exist! It’s like the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower with my own eyes!
The fact is, liberals want to be able to use churches for politics, but will not allow conservatives to do so. This is biased and cannot be allowed.
You’re not the real Gary.
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism
That screen name made me laugh )
LiberalFascistLover said:
…because of course there is nothing preventing any church from being as political as they want to be; they just have to give up their tax exemption if they want to be overtly political.
“If churches were taxed for all their income and property, they’d crumble overnight of their own obsolescence, and the National Debt would be wiped out as quickly. The productive, the creative, the resourceful should be subsidized. So long as the useless and incompetent are getting paid, they should be heavily taxed.” – Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan
Heh. Hail Satan.
The word ‘soubrette’ needs to be used more often. It’s not just for late-Victorian pornography. That is all.
Liberal fascists want to make the Church pay taxes. Classical fascists co-opted the Church, which is why no German Catholic was ever excommunicated for participating in the Holocaust. While this seems to make the Catholic Church complacent in the face of the Holocaust, only anti-fascist liberals truly support fascism. This is central to my point, which is under my shiny peaked cap.
fischer looks like a “wide stance” kind of guy
and since the ACLU is defending craig…..
Oh God, the stupid when will it end?
My life was a real mess until I finally cleaned up my act and got soubrette the Betty Ford Center.
Everything Zen? I don’t think so.
Jesus is the Jew of the religious right.
He’s openly pro-poor and collectivist, is militant against the poor businessmen just trying to make a buck in their Temple (yet otherwise is a pacifist), and doesn’t believe that people should know their place. He is both very authoritarian and totally progressive in that he rejects everything the Old Testament says about war and sacrifice.
Therefore, Jesus is a racist Nazi liberal.
The Fascist is the Male of the White Jew.
Hey, you kids!
Stay offa my screen name!
The Jew is the Fascist Male of Liberal White-ism.
I refreshed the screen and that fucking face got bigger. Most terrifying moment of my life.
J –
You hurt me. Bastard.
The fact that it took a minute of thinking before getting the pun didn’t make it easier, either.
Thoroughly malicious bastard.
Since no one else has made this joke, I’ll do the honors:
… a pastor who endorsed Barack Obama from his pulpit last Sunday. In a free country, he should be free to do so without fear that his voice will be strangled by the federal government.
Yeah, and that worthless secular government won’t even put the guy in two wetsuits before they strangle his voice, either.
I’m sure that Mr. Fischer rose to the defense of this church, harassed by the IRS for an anti-war sermon. What? No?
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ALL sane folk on this RightWing planet called Idaho think BF is Koo-Koo for a Krazy Khristian Kountry ! ( see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominionism )
So we mostly take note of his insanity and go back to our real world , but thanx for the laugh , , ,
[…] mind lately. That is, other than the fact that homosexuals are Nazis, and vice versa, and that liberals are Nazis, and so forth. No, it’s not that the exact same theory as Darwin’s Theory of Evolution […]