my plug in hybrid puts me to the right of hitler, actually.

I knew it. I knew it. Goddam communist heathens.

Excuse me, I meant fascist heathens.

Neiwert pretty much has the last word on the Pantload. Nothing much left to say after this.

http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2008/01/methodology-of-liberal-fascism.html

Hey guys, John Scalzi’s joining in the fun: (for those who don’t know, Scalzi’s a very good sci-fi writer–“Old Man’s War”–who blogs about all kinds of things:

Scalzi on Goldberg

Sorry, link didn’t work. Here’s the link:

Linked text

Mumia G’wan be FREE!

mikey

Bob Marley: Fascist, or Ultra Fascist?

Wow, Dave Neiwert kicks ass.

Doughy, funny smelling ass.

Don’t forget the Whole Foods sponsored concentration camps.

http://www.veganism.mobi/auschwitz.jpg
http://www.waylandxc.com/wholefoods.jpg

Photo seyz: Photoshop me. You know you want to.

Sorry, link didn’t work. Here’s the link:

Linked text

Awsome link. The guy that wrote that post gets right to the point; Jonah doesn’t know what the Hell he’s talking about. I’m a biologist. If someone had asked me, “why do they call it DNA?” and I said, “You know, I’ve never thought about that,” I would be out of a job.

Bottom line, if you can’t arse yourself to learn the very basics about a subject (DNA in biology, Mussolini in fascism), we can’t be arsed to take you seriously.

Doughy’s gonna be at the Border’s in DC today (15 Jan) at 6:30 pm. (http://www.bordersstores.com/stores/store_pg.jsp?storeID=50)

Anyone up for going? What should we ask him?

Speaking of hybrids and Nazis… one of Ferdinand Porsche’s first designs (1901) was of a gasoline-electric hybrid car.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lohner-Porsche_Mixte_Hybrid

He went on to design the Volkswagen Beetle, the Kubelwagen, and the Tiger series of tanks. And the engine for the Auto Union racers, sponsored by Hitler’s gov’t, served nicely as a secret aircraft engine development program.

It’s debatable whether Porsche was really a Nazi. Clearly, he was some kind of dirty hippie. I mean, hybrid cars? VW Beetles? QED.

My first draft of questions to ask the Pantload, possibly to hand out at the show, http://www.bordersstores.com/stores/store_pg.jsp?storeID=50

Serious and thoughtful questions for the serious and thoughtful Jonah Goldberg, author of the serious and thoughtful Liberal Fascism. Please remember to be respectful, decent, and civil when you ask your questions.

In 1957, conservative icon William F. Buckley wrote in Why the South Must Prevail, “…the white community is entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race.” How did the Liberal Fascists of that time respond to this observation?

The author of the comic strip Life in Hell (I’m not sure how to pronounce his name) has made it abundantly clear that he hates Republicans and Dutch Reagan in particular. Do you address this blatant example of Liberal Fascism in your book or any of your works?

You coined the “Ledeen Doctrine” which states, “Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.” That’s awesome! Whom should we invade in 2013? We know that you would never enlist in the military, but who should fight and die for such a noble cause as the Ledeen Doctrine? Why do you think Liberal Fascists have trouble accepting this doctrine?

Liberal Fascists had strong negative reaction to Our Leader’s donning a flight suit, landing on an aircraft carrier, and announcing “Mission Accomplished” after we showed the world that we mean business. Why do you suppose they did?

Can we expect the Liberal Fascists to stab us in the back any time soon? Have they already?

During the 2004 presidential campaign, dozens of Liberal Fascists were banished, strip searched, or arrested and thrown in jail for wearing Kerry buttons or t-shirts at Bush events. What is the most efficient solution to keeping this uncivil element from embarrassing Our Leader?

Like all fascists, Liberals hate their own country, The USA, the greatest nation ever. One way they of expressing their fascist anti-nationalism is by openly rejecting flag lapel pins. My question: Can a flag lapel pin be too large?

Starting with the cover, your book compares Liberals to Mussolini and Hitler. That’s truly awful, but are they more like Mussolini or Hitler?

Like all fascists, Liberals are tolerant. An example of this was made clear in the 2004 election, when John Kerry would let any riff-raff attend his rallies, especially when that fascist Springsteen performed. Non-fascist Bush, on the other hand, carefully selected his audiences. My question: The loyalty oaths that Bush supporters took at his rallies, can they be too long?

A lot of Liberals oppose the imprisoning of suspected terrorists without charging them with a crime or allowing them access to legal representation. Is their opposition to Bush Administration policies another example of Liberal Fascism?

Liberal Fascists seem to hate the idea of us torturing people who could possibly be charged with terrorism. Why? Why do they hate the extra-judicial spying on Americans by the government/telecom team?

Back in 2000, Liberal Fascists denounced George W. Bush as a know-nothing, towel-snapping, incompetent, chucklehead frat-boy who’s only claim to fame was that he was the son of a President. But isn’t his incredible success–invading Iraq, the surging economy, detaining and torturing people without charging them with a crime and what have you–a great case for nepotism? Why do you suppose Liberal Fascists hate nepotism so much?

Regarding a Liberal Fascist website, the popular conservative talk show host, Michael Savage, has noted more than once, “Let me explain who Media Matters is. … It’s run by a bunch of fascist homosexuals. They’re the brownshirts of our time.” He also said, “Of all the dictators of the past, Al Gore is closest to Mussolini.” He’s also called immigrants “vermin” and referred to Mexico and other foreign countries as “turd world nations.” Have you thought of teaming up with this fellow warrior?

more please.

Bongstoßlegende.

Is driving a pickup truck that runs on E85 facist? It’s got a Paul Wellstone bumper sticker on it…

Why do you suppose Liberal Fascists hate nepotism so much?

Dude, please, please ask this one.

Doughy’s gonna be at the Border’s in DC today (15 Jan) at 6:30 pm

Please please please someone post about how that goes. These guys ALWAYS blow up when put into a situation where they can’t control the questions. Oh I bet it’s going to be fun.

What should we ask him?

I was going to suggest “Would you please please please shut up?” but your draft list is good too.

(I’m not sure how to pronounce his name)

He says it rhymes with “complaining”.

I thought the Ledeen Doctrine ran more along the lines of “Those Fascists were actually righteous dudes, until they got into power, and sold out.”

(I’m not sure how to pronounce his name)

He says it rhymes with “complaining”.

I know this, but I’m not convinced that El Pantloado knows this. I’m also not sure that EP knows that the guy who created his favorite TV show, The Simpsons, also authors a long-running comic strip.

That’s why the question is phrased as it is.

…let alone that the guy who created The Simpsons hates the living shit out of Pantload’s ilk (and presumably DP hisownself).

If white males are the Jews of liberal fascism, why aren’t they the homosexuals of liberal fascism too?

another possibility:

You said, “Liberals the ones who claim free-market economics are fascist.” Who are the three Liberal Fascists who claim this the most?

Ooo, that’s mean.

Given your deep reading of ‘It Takes a Village’ — the ‘Mein Kampf’ of Liberal Fascism — which minority group should most fear being rounded up and murdered if Hillary Clinton is elected president?

Question: Did you at least blush a little when you cashed the advance check?

In your opinion, does Zyklon B even come close to hugs and nap time for clinical monstrosity in the course of eliminating internal race enemies?

When people were rounded up by the Gestapo and OVRA, do you think they at least found solace in the fact that they weren’t in the custody of the Tennessee Valley Authority?

If you were made into a lampshade, whose livingroom would you end up in?

Stay civil, people. It works better that way. Trust me.

Should the Red Cross be prohibited from visiting you once the liberal fascists intern you at Guantanamo bay?

That first picture is gold.

When you look at the Democratic party, do you think of them as “pretty much fascist” “mostly fascist” or “fascistic?”

Is your book better or worse than The Party of Death? Who’s been tapped to write The Progressive Cannibals: Liberals Really Eat People?

Question: Did you at least blush a little when you cashed the advance check?

Question: how much had you written by the time you’d spent it?

Question: how many legitimate sales do you need to start receiving a royalty?

When Martin Luther King, Jr. marched on Versailles with Franco to demand the bombing of Pearl Harbor, is it true that the sound of jackboots tapping to the beat of Kumbaya could be heard all the way in Milan?

The other day, I saw a Barack Obama supporter complain about her order to the wait staff at our local Applebee’s. In your opinion: More chilling than the Beer Hall Putsch, or just equally chilling?

ZOMG! Rastafascism!

one more :

You said, “Conservatives respect authority — the authority of ideas, traditions, morals, religion, customs, reason, law, excellence and so on. One cannot believe in this kind of authority while having a blanket hostility to elitism in any form.” What makes Liberal Fascists fail to bow to the authority of our elites? How can we correct this key flaw in their worldview?

Wait ’til you see ‘Rubble Fascism: The Totalitarian Impulse from Betty to Bam-Bam’ …

What steps must the Flower of American Manhood take to crush the threat of Liberal Fascism under the boot of Glorious Democracy?

It just gets sillier and sillier doesn’t it?

How much pie in the face will Jonah take before he admits he’s fucked up. (has fucked up, IS fucked up.)

I didn’t even read the last Sher post (or the comments) because I could tell just by her page boy and facial expression (Penny Marshall ?) that she basically disapproves of everything I’ve ever done.

(Now that I’ve looked) Oh fuck that is some funny shit. Is that Goering wearing those Foster Grants ?

Those Panzer tanks are obviously sitting in a field of canola, ready to be pressed into biodiesel fuel, for swift, eco-friendly crushing of Poland and France.

For my questions:

“Was the tax-payer funded rent-a-mob which physically threatened the vote-counters in Florida an example of liberal fascism?”

“Does Indiana’s anti-voter fraud law, which requires extensive IDs for casting ballots, descend from the liberal fascism of 1920’s Italy and 1930’s Germany?”

“Could you please define ‘authority of excellence’ in a way not reminiscent of George Carlin in a Keanu Reeves film?”

“How much pie in the face will Jonah take before he admits he’s fucked up.”

You have to have enough pie to induce the sensation of suffocation. From that point forward he will pretty much admit to anything.

It’s called ‘pie-boarding’

Is avoiding fascist diets what keeps you so healthy?

Mussolini was in Battlefield Earth???

Don’t forget the Dachshunds

!

I am diligently working on being born to a well-connected parent who can assist me into the position of getting a contract to someday write the staggeringly well-researched and ultra-super-detailed Liberal Mafias: From Al Capone to Aromatherapy.

The quintessential Liberal Mafioso isn’t a made goon firing a Tommy gun into a restaurant’s front windows out of a stylish coupe speeding by; it is a four year old child repeating pronunciations learned from the multicultural Sesame Street.

While my definition of “mafia” differs from “classic mafias”, this is actually inside the Schwartzfield Radius of my point.

Don’t forget the Dachshunds
Marie Prevost’s dog was a liberal fascist!

As I noted earlier today (ok 10 mins ago), The Pantload is going to be on Thom Hartmann’s Air America show today… check your local listings because this could be ugly …

“Define fascism”

If I can’t make it to Borders a friend is going and will take copious notes.

We have a bet running that he won’t show.

Sure Hitler was a bad guy and all, but even he wasn’t cruel enough to force free healthcare on his country. On a scale of one to ten of evil, where do Obama and Hillary rank compared to Hitler?

Absolutely hysterical, D. Aristophanes!

I wonder if Jonah ever really sees the insanity in his stupidity, or if his stupidity is just too insane?

“Liberal Fascism” is going to be the Rocky Horror Picture Show of books. I might even get a copy. Things that are so insane they’re actually physically painful to read (like Timecube) don’t come along every day.

Mr. Goldberg, can you please define the word “fascism”?

Come the Liberal Fascist revolution, we’ll deal with people like Jonah Goldberg:

We’ll confiscate all the fat bastard’s Krispy Kremes and Cheet-Ohs and put him in a vegan healthy eating re-education camp.

Once his belt size hits the thirties, we’ll ship his ass over to Baghdad for a few years of guard duty.

Doughy’s gonna be at the Border’s in DC today (15 Jan) at 6:30 pm

ed: Thank you in advance for your service to your country in attending this gathering. We look forward to your report, Sir!

Any way someone can videotape this?

Also ask Pantload if he realizes Mussolini isn’t Amurkan, as implied by the book’s subtitle.

Matt Groening — pronounced “Graining”

Doughpants made Olbermann’s “Worst Persons” last night. Obviously, this is evidence that Olbermann is a Nazi.

Didn’t you guys hear that we are not EVER allowed to make light of the Nazi’s, under any circumstances? This is the command of our Extremely Serious overlords at DailyKos. To jokingly present Nazism in any form (espescially a LOLcat Kitler) is simply unacceptable, as it will give our opposition reason to be mean to us and say bad things. I trust the offensive pictures will be taken down at once, lest the full might of the Kossacks be brought down upon your heads.

Here’s a request going out to the Dough Man himself, special from the Sadlynaughts….Elvis Costello’s ‘All The Rage’.

The twitching impulses to speak your mind
I’ll lend you my microscope and maybe you will find it
Is it in that ugly place that’s just behind your face
Where you keep my picture still despite the fact
That you had me replaced

Although I’ll never be
Unhappy as you want me to be
Still it’s all the rage

Didn’t you guys hear that we are not EVER allowed to make light of the Nazi’s, under any circumstances? This is the command of our Extremely Serious overlords at DailyKos.

I will pay even more close attention to this than the next time there’s a 600,000 comment debate on DailyKos on how and when exactly to click the “recommend” button and what vast implications such a decision has upon keeping the Urf from collapsing into utter chaos.

Dude, please, please ask this one [about nepotism].

My guess is that he’d just respond with a reference to Hillary Clinton or the various Kennedys.

I like these:

In 1957, conservative icon William F. Buckley wrote in Why the South Must Prevail, “…the white community is entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race.” How did the Liberal Fascists of that time respond to this [and similar] observation[s]?

(because that quotation from Buckley should get more play, and because it’s a great frickin’ question)

You [once mentioned] the “Ledeen Doctrine” which states, “Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.” That’s awesome! Whom should we invade in 2013? We know that you would never enlist in the military, but who should fight and die for such a noble cause as the Ledeen Doctrine? Why do you think Liberal Fascists have trouble accepting this doctrine?

(because I’ve always suspected that Ledeen is pissed off that this quote got out)

You said, “Liberals the ones who claim free-market economics are fascist.” Who are the three Liberal Fascists who claim this the most?

(because you know he can’t answer this)

I’ll try to think of one. I’m chewing on something that involves the implicit characterization of Gandhi, MLK, and Mother Theresa as fascist, but haven’t quite hit on it yet.

How about:

If the Nazis are socialists because their official name was the “National Socialist German Workers Party,” then does that mean that East Germany was a democracy because its official name was the “German Democratic Republic”?

Trilateral Chairman – I’d narrow that one further to the first and the third question. The second one might actually tip off Jonah that he’s being made fun of. The other two, no matter how pathetic he looks, he’d actually answer, because he’d believe they’re being asked by a supporter.

Bravo!

My comment, from Scalzi’s post:

Mussolini…bore an unsettling resemblance to George C. Scott

AHA! Here’s the loophole Jonah can drive his fatass thru!

He *looks* like George C. Scott!

George C. Scott played General George Patton (same first name? Must be a liberal fascist plot!), and refused the Oscar.

Why?

Because in 1920, Benito Mussolini was kidnapped and General George Patton replaced him in Italy.

So it was *Patton* who did a 180, and started the Fascist party in Italy AND the fascist movement! After all, we all know from the film was a authoritarian he was!

So during World War II, having started the movement that ultimately dragged the United States into war in Europe, possibly to promote the interests of arms dealers worldwide, including the Krupp family (thus eventually forcing them to make hideously unreliable coffe makers), Patton played double agent as both enemy and three star Allied general!

Meanwhile, Mussolini was free to start the American Communist Party, which as only Jonah knows, was a secret front for the Liberal movement in America!

*whew*

I gotta stop drinking decaf.

I post this here, because I feel its relevant to the thorough analysis of Jonah’s book, and how he might defend his research. We ought to be prepared.

Is driving a pickup truck that runs on E85 facist?

About 85% so, yes.

Actually no, because corn is mostly grown in red states, so you’re actually feeding the conservative economy by supporting the governmental price supports for agribusinesses, as opposed to letting them duke it out in the free market like liberal fascists would insist.

After all, oil is controlled by OPEC which funds the Islamofascistcommieliberalhomofeministas of the west.

Any chance he is reading this and the cover is blown on the questions?

He doesn’t do his own reading, but if somebody emails him the gist ed is toast.

God, I hope Pantload intends to extend his little Border’s “speaking” tour outside the Beltway. But wait, isn’t Borders a party to the international Islamofascistliberalcommie conspiracy to destroy the heartland USA, God, and patriotism?

If the Nazis are socialists because their official name was the “National Socialist German Workers Party,” then does that mean that East Germany was a democracy because its official name was the “German Democratic Republic”?

Seconded, except I’d rephrase it slightly to close off an obvious exit route (they’re not socialists *because* of the name), and I’d go with the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea:

“So the Nazis were the National *Socialist* German *Workers* Party, and you’ve suggested that that reflects their ideological stance. Do you also think that the name “Democratic People’s Republic of Korea” reflects Kim Jong Il’s ideological stance? Is he really a small-d democrat after all?”

My guess is that he’ll respond that it does in the case of the Nazis but doesn’t in the case of the DPRK, which should make it pretty clear that he’s arbitrarily adjusting his standards to accept the evidence he likes and discount the evidence he doesn’t.

I’m listening to Hartmann now – Oh my Gods this man is dumb. he OPENS with the lie that he defines fascism in the book.

I should mention, Hartmann isn’t dumb. His guest the Pantload is dumb.

On Air America (Thom Hartmann show) right now. Gack. I will not liveblog this, but please listen.

Bitch Goldberg chickened out of the interview saying he had another one after just seven minutes.

Dave Niewart just destroys Jonah.

The only problem is that if Doughy even bothers to start reading it, there is no way he will be able to finish it. Too many ‘facts’ and ‘research’.

He might make it one third of the way, if he’s fresh off a 24 ounce bottle of Game Fuel.

He might make it one third of the way, if he’s fresh off a 24 ounce bottle of Game Fuel.

Oh, so that’s why ‘Liberal Fascism’ cites ‘High-Fructose Corn Syrup’ in the footnotes …

I love how every critic instantly gets accused of having not read the book. Yet he’s still getting spanked almost everywhere he goes outside his little neocon bubble. Did he not learn from watching Patton how deadly to one’s ambitions writing a book can be?

Weak sauce from Thom Hartmann on Air America. Allowed himself to be sidelined into a digression about corporatism and tobacco regulation, without pushing for a solid definition of fascism from JoGo.

Dan,

That’s funny. I thought he showed quite clearly that Jonah’s definition was bullshit and self-serving. But I’m in the choir, so…

Yglesias dopes out the Pantload:

“But of course that just gets us back to the fact that there’s no real coherent argument to be extracted here at all. Nor does there seem to have been any real intention of producing one. Rather, Adam “In Defense of Nepotism” Bellow’s basic idea was, basically, let’s slap a bunch of shit together that’ll piss off liberals, generate buzz, and then maybe conservatives will buy the book. It’s cynicism, pure and true, but it makes a reasonable amount of sense. The funny thing about it is that as best one could tell, Goldberg is actually slow-witted enough that he doesn’t understand what’s happening and is apparently genuinely upset that liberals aren’t seriously debating his ideas the way one goes back-and-forth against an antagonist whose thinking you respect despite your differing perspectives. That, of course, only makes it funnier to make fun of him and that, in turn, serves the higher call of the marketing pitch.”

http://tinyurl.com/37wrjb

Sorry about the lack of presentation skillz.

Actually no, because corn is mostly grown in red states, so you’re actually feeding the conservative economy by supporting the governmental price supports for agribusinesses, as opposed to letting them duke it out in the free market like liberal fascists would insist.

The E85 that I’m burning is mostly made at farmer co-ops in MN, which is still a blue state (despite our #^&*%^&# governor and soon-to-be-booted Norm Coleman). That said, the corn-growing industry is a neocon wet dream, chock full of petroleum dependence and giganto-corporate welfare, and the co-ops are starting to be bought out by Cargill and the like (not that I like). I’m hoping that E85 progresses towards prairie grass formulations REAL soon so that we can cut back on doing all the unnatural stuff that we do to grow corn.

When E85 finally moves beyond being corn based, it will become much more facist.

Bitch Goldberg chickened out of the interview saying he had another one after just seven minutes.

Oh come ON! He couldn’t last seven minutes, much less recover for another round!

When E85 finally moves beyond being corn based, it will become much more facist.

Are you kidding?

What’s more conservative than making money off something that grows for free?

ZOMG! Rastafascism!

This explains why Mussolini invaded Ethiopia. It was all just a misguided attempt to commune with Haile Selassie, Lion of Judah and Neo-Leftist Intergalactic Messianic Emperor of Expanded Consciousness.

Hah! The Pantload ducked? I just tuned in and I’m bummed I missed what little was there. Someone must have clued him in to who Thom is, and the fact that J-Load would get his ass handed to him if he even pretended to go toe to toe.

BTW, are those Pantloadkampfwagens in the first pic?

Oh, and this

When Martin Luther King, Jr. marched on Versailles with Franco to demand the bombing of Pearl Harbor, is it true that the sound of jackboots tapping to the beat of Kumbaya could be heard all the way in Milan?

is the funniest shit ever. Cue Bluto Blutarski.

Isn’t a key part of facism having total control over information? How about this for control (hat tip Talking Points Memo):

Q: Just a couple quick follow ups on Iran. On the NIE, did you — were you, in effect, distancing yourself from the conclusions of the NIE, and these guys —

THE PRESIDENT: No, I was making it clear it was an independent judgment, because what they basically came to the conclusion of, is that he’s trying — you know, this is a way to make sure that all options aren’t on the table. So I defended our intelligence services, but made it clear that they’re an independent agency; that they come to conclusions separate from what I may or may not want.

He actually said “they come to conclusions separate from what I may or may not want?” So that means if intelligence agrees with “what he wants”, he listens but if it’s not “what he wants”, he doesn’t? Well at least it’s nice of him to admit it.

Snowwy said,

January 15, 2008 at 19:17

Bitch Goldberg chickened out of the interview saying he had another one after just seven minutes.

I call bullshit. Why schedule an interview when you know you only have seven minutes?

Damn it, he’s starting to crack. Der LoadenDumper better not make me lose my bet.

The funny thing about it is that as best one could tell, Goldberg is actually slow-witted enough that he doesn’t understand what’s happening and is apparently genuinely upset that liberals aren’t seriously debating his ideas the way one goes back-and-forth against an antagonist whose thinking you respect despite your differing perspectives.

This is the truly fascinating thing about Goldberg: He doesn’t really understand how dumb he is. He probably really believes that he has written a serious work (in part because he worked hard on it, in part because he’s been gulled by his own publicity material). Everyone else, of course, largely knows it’s specious, but the righties will still use it to advance their views because even a silly work can be used for propaganda purposes; the rubes will want to believe it no matter how dumb it is.

It’s sad, though. As we saw in some other link around here, Goldberg is mentally capable of (1) asserting that nobody has presented a significant criticism of his argument; (2) dismissing any evidence to the contrary as an appeal to authority; (3) defending his own work by resorting to an appeal to authority. It’s surprisingly tricky to argue against someone who has no concern for consistency; most questioners end up sputtering and fuming in confusion (of course, Goldberg sees this as a victory.)

As one of Yglesias’s commenters suggested, Goldberg could have a perfectly decent career as a writer of light conservative fare, and he wouldn’t have to get run over by the bus that’s headed his way.

LFC, I’m going to have to take your word that that’s what the quote means, because that is some impenetrable-ass speechifying there. It’s like that verbal fumbling people do when they’re lying to someone who knows they’re lying, or when their brain has just said “that’s it; I’m outta here”, leaving the mouth to be all “err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future”.

It’s surprisingly tricky to argue against someone who has no concern for consistency; most questioners end up sputtering and fuming in confusion (of course, Goldberg sees this as a victory.)

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes of Cheetos”.

another:

Remember that time you got totally owned by Juan Cole? That was awesome!

FWIW, turns out I cannot attend tonite’s festivities. If y’all could pick me up with questions and documentation, that would, like, totally rock..

Sheesh, you guys could have come up with a photo of some Tiger tanks or Panthers instead of those Czech-designed motor scooters.

Remember, liberal fascists only drive the biggest ad the best, because they are liberals, and umm, indeed, that is central to my point.

This is the truly fascinating thing about Goldberg: He doesn’t really understand how dumb he is. He probably really believes that he has written a serious work (in part because he worked hard on it, in part because he’s been gulled by his own publicity material

. . . and let us not forget the most likely reason: his mom has been telling him for his entire life that he’s special, but not in a short-bus way. I have students like him who parachute into college after years of home-schooling and simply cannot grasp that they aren’t as brilliant as mommy/teacher always insisted they were.

mo’:

Liberal Fascists seem to believe that your judgment regarding the Iraq War is inferior to Juan Cole’s. Why do you suppose that is?

I have students like him who parachute into college after years of home-schooling and simply cannot grasp that they aren’t as brilliant as mommy/teacher always insisted they were.

I’ve had students like this too, though I don’t think any of mine were home-schooled. As far as I can tell, they received lots of praise for their writing when they were in high school, perhaps because they were among the only students in their class who were generally able to obey the standard rules of spelling and grammar. Nobody ever bothered to teach them how to *write* or how to *argue*, and they always have trouble understanding just what is missing from their papers.

These people do tend to do OK in life, though, in no small part because it takes people a while to realize that there’s nothing behind all the verbiage. (Plus, if you’re an ad exec or something like that, the verbiage is all that’s required.)

Funny you all should be talking about Goldberg’s lament of how all the liberal fascists leftos have to date failed to rise to the challenge of taking his very serious book very seriously, because look what we have here, from the very serious blog Liberal Fascism, written by Goldberg himself:

Pretty much all the leftwing blog stuff I’ve seen is too vile to pick through the trash in search of a good argument. Some conservative friends have some thoughtful and constructive critiques (Yuval Levin’s going to write some of them up to get a conversation going). I would like to see such a critique, but the leftwingers don’t seem interested in providing it, invested as they are in the character-assassination gambit.

Pretty much all the leftwing blog stuff I’ve seen is too vile

I’ll bet someone compared him to a Nazi or something.

Evidently, a “good argument” is now “any argument I anticipated beforehand and have some notes about in my index-card file.” Any argument outside those Jonah is already prepared to answer is, by definition, a “bad argument”.

See? The Goldberg Principle in action!

JLoad: Hey look, I crapped my pants!
Liberals: Ha ha ha! He crapped his pants!
JLoad: I want you to take a close look at my dooky smeared trousers –
Liberals: Ha ha ha ha!
JLoad: Liberals are so unserious.

And only the left-wingers, who J-Load compares to the Nazis and Mussolini, are invested in the character-assassination gambit.

“The Character-Assassination Gambit”

The latest film from director Inoshiro Honda

Starring Sean Connery, Melina Mercouri, Ursula Andress, Omar Shariff, William Holden, Tuesday Weld, Shelley Winters, Fred Astaire, Maximillian Schell, Angie Dickinson, George Lazenby and Strother Martin

“You will not believe the doughiness of the pantload.”

In Technicolor

These people do tend to do OK in life, though, in no small part because it takes people a while to realize that there’s nothing behind all the verbiage.
It’s surprising how many people would pass the Turing test.

THE PRESIDENT: No, I was making it clear it was an independent judgment, because what they basically came to the conclusion of, is that he’s trying — you know, this is a way to make sure that all options aren’t on the table.

WTF?!?! All options are OFF the tabel now? What’s that supposed to mean?

And it looks like he was starting to say something about Sadaam and caught himself – why would he say “is that he’s trying” – unless he was stuck in a feeback loop to the old “Weapons of Mass Destruction” bullshit. Or else he thinks that Ahmadinejad (sp?) actualy runs Iran. Either way he’s certifiable.

I am getting really sick of any variant of “all options are on / off the table” — it makes world diplomacy sound like a Yum Char. When I am elected World President, I promise that explanations to journalists will be more along the lines of “Half the options are in Column A, and half are in Column B”.

Umm, I think SOME options are on the table.

The rest are in the cupboard under the sink with the cleanser…

mikey

Thanks, Mikey. I hate it when I’m just about to finish the jigsaw but there’s one option missing. It always seems to be the one with the left nipple.

Goldberg’s template for reviewing reviews:

Reviews that accept Liberal Fascism’s silly assertion that fascism is a phenomenon of the left, serious.

Reviews that reject Liberal Fascism’s silly assertion that fascism is a phenomenon of the left, unserious.

Goldberg chickened out of the interview….

Will he turn into the Sly Stone of conservative pundits?

All options are on the table. Shrimp, one dollar extra. Choice of steamed or fried wonton. For parties over 6, an 18% gratuity will be added.

One of the kittens we’re fostering at the moment — until they go back to the SPCA and find themselves permanent homes — is a Kitler.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/21542477@N08/sets/72157603721680910/
Feel free to use as LOLcats.

Is that Bert in the background?

Wow, Smut Clyde. That’s about the Kitleriest kat I ever did see. She’s got the sideways hairdo goin’ on and everything.

Better luck on surrendering your foster kitties than I had with mine. Yeah, I sat down and bawled like a baby in the animal shelter waiting room and ended up taking one of the dad-blamed kittens back home with me. Don’t let this happen to you.

Hermit,

MY GOD! Bert really IS an Islamofascist!

MY GOD! Bert really IS an Islamofascist!

And you know what they say about Bert n’ Ernie.

Maybe PantsDump is right about teh ghey nazis.

No chance of that, MzNicky. We already have four resident cats (including Mehitabel Blood-Axe), and I figure that keeping another one would push us across the line into full-blown Multiple Cat Syndrome. So Maggie and her siblings go back to the shelter on Friday, and we will have a few more days’ respite until they ring us up again about another semi-feral litter that need re-socialising.
In the meantime I’ll try to catch Maggie in a few suitable poses, looking at a map of Poland or something.

Hey you! Off my keyboard!

Military historians will recognize those tanks as subcompact biofuel panzers. They were invading Poland to access the corn fields in and around Lubin.

The shots of contemplative kitty and toy mouse strike me as appropriate to the Kitler genre.

Goldberg just hit the lottery of ignorance and incoherence. I don’t think he knows the origin of the political terms Right and Left. He also doesn’t seem to understand that there can be left and right wings within various political ideologies or movements (not just the one he insists includes liberals and fascists, i.e, socialism) and that these confront each other internally at the same time that the ideologies or movements to which they belong confront other ideologies or movements.

Goldberg just hit the lottery of ignorance and incoherence.

Heh. Jonah:

(Besides, as I’ve said a million times, nationalism and socialism are almost always synonymous terms. Hugo Chavez is a nationalist who is nationalizing his country’s industry. Or you could say he’s a socialist who is socializing his country’s industry. The two words are interchangeable: socialized medicine is nationalized medicine.)

Almost always!

It’s bullshit like Goldberg’s that is the only reason I regret never going to college. I’m plenty smart enough to detect his bullshit every time he spews it (which, strange though it may seem isn’t 100% of the time he’s talking – just 95%+) but I lack the depth of education necessary to dissect his deceptions.

Can’t we all just be Friends?

but I lack the depth of education necessary to dissect his deceptions.

Oh, I doubt that seriously. It’s not terribly hard at all.

See, if he states a fact, then he’s lying. It’s gravy from there on.

Hey, guys! You know, goose-stepping is really kind of cool once you get into it.

We got goose-stepping, animal-loving, tree-hugging, health-conscious … have we missed anything that could be used as a characteristic of fascism?

We got goose-stepping, animal-loving, tree-hugging, health-conscious … have we missed anything that could be used as a characteristic of fascism?

Hang on, gotta check my notes:
1. A desire to be part of a group.
2. Being interested in the welfare of young people/children.
3. Saying “If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” (the most fascist thing eva!)
4. Declaring a crisis in order to force everyone to behave in a certain way.
5. Being a compassionate conservative.
6. Wearing a military uniform and smoking a cigar.
7. Suggesting that there by unity between different social classes.
8. Being a US president from 1913 – 1974.
9. Being a member of the Supreme Court.
10. Hilary Clinton.
11. Questioning the brilliance of teh JoLoad.

Can’t we all just be Friends?

A million bucks an episode while it lasts, years of coasting afterward without worrying about rent? Yeah, I can get behind that. As long as I don’t have to be what’s-his-name.

You’re talking about me, aren’t you?

I know this is probably a red herring…but It’s odd that the people who are running websites devoted lovingly to the memory of Hitler and Mussolini are invariably right-wing. Why don’t the neo-nazis in Germany and the neo-fascists in Italy understand that they should be worshipping, instead, FDR or Hillary Clinton??? It seems strange that this is so obvious to Mr. Goldload, but the native fascists can’t figure it out.

my god, Jonah doesn’t know where to stop:

They were the reactionaries. Monarchists, Manchester Liberals, Catholic traditionalists, et al. These groups wanted to restore the past.

and

This is why even today nationalism is still viewed by many as a rightwing phenomenon, even though that is not warranted by the intellectual history of nationalism.

what, eh, please….

Something similar was at word with Mussolini. He was not claiming to speak for the reactionaries of classical liberalism or for the reactionaries of tradition and monarchy, when he said he was of the Right. No, he was speaking for the Nietzschean right of will, action and national power.

My god, its just the epitome of dumb. He finishes off with this sad little boast:

And, if you can get beyond my critics cherry-picked quotations from texts and speeches they never read until last week, and look instead at the anatomy of fascism, it becomes most clearly part and parcel of the collectivist, leftist tide during the first half of the 20th century.

Cherry picking, us, Jonah, pleaaaaase…..

Funny comment:

Overheard at Jonah’s talk at Borders earlier this evening. While waiting to hear him, the two guys in front of me had this conversation after identifying each other as fellow conservatives. (I swear I am not making this up.)

Guy 1: Man, I am suprised there weren’t protesters outside or something–knowing this town.

Guy 2: Yeah, but if there were we could bring out the baseball bats and show them some real fascism.

Guy 1: uh, yeah…

Posted by David B. | January 15, 2008 10:17 PM

That would have upset Johan. He made it clear that being a fascist isn’t evil and doesn’t necessarily mean knocking people over the head, putting them in camps, killing them…

That’s something socialists do.

Although fascism an communism are both off-shoots of socialism.

Look! Hilary Clinton!

I swear to God, that pretty much sums up the evening. I didn’t stick around for the signing though. Maybe the real, witty and intelligent Johan came out for those who were truly worthy.

“Don’t forget the Dachshunds”

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Here is what I’m hearing: I got ya “argument in good faith” right heah. This is an interesting event. Like the punk said to Ray Charles in Spy Hard, “what do you do?” This is not the first time this has ever happened, of course, but this is so egregious. A good question for Jonah (in person or via e-mail) “Can you explain, in 100 words or less, what is meant by the term “argument in good faith”?

A good question for Jonah (in person or via e-mail) “Can you explain, in 100 words or less, what is meant by the term “argument in good faith”?

One of his complaints was that critics didn’t address every page in the book. I.e. the review that appeared in the NYT didn’t say anything about pages 1 – 120. (Swear.) He also accused his critics of not being able to address every single point in his book (Yglesias is “lame” because he couldn’t give a satisfactory answer about Woodrow Wilson and the National Review says he’s a liberal, so he’s a liberal). Finally (get ready for splody head) he accused critcs of just looking things up on Google and not doing any real research as he had.

Plus you have to be nice. Really nice.

Nazi Germany was the #1 military user of bicycles for infantry. It allowed them to move troops quickly and efficiently behind the blitzkrieg.

You know, if you want to pull something else out of history, aside from Porsche.

Finally (get ready for splody head)
Not quite ‘finally’, alas. You missed out other forms of ‘arguments not in good faith’:
(1) Being wrong (Holbo’s review);
(2) not deserving to be taken seriously (Spencer Ackerman’s review);
(2) being a journalist and therefore unqualified (Neiwert’s review);
(4) appealing to authority (Tom Hilton);
(5) cherry-picking quotes from Johan’s own sources that contradict his thesis — this is in bad faith because the critics in this category probably hadn’t even read the sources before they found them in Johan’s bibliography.

Sorry SC, I was working from the turds, I mean words the man spooted out night before last.

At one point I thought he was trying to expose the liberals in the audience by making them bust out laughing.

Then I realized that would require a level of intelligence and foresight that he could not begin to imagine.