How about the Imperial March.

A merry jape indeed, Booger! You are truly my finest servant.

Cockroaches, Pam Anderson’s boobs, and Lemmy.

Three things that will survive a nuclear holocaust.

How about the Imperial March.

Cheney would sue.

Or how about “Big girls don’t cry”, from that diaper commercial.

I’m starting to think Hillary is a woman, but Misogyny coming from a female differs from classical misogyny coming from a male, I don’t deny this, indeed…blah blah blah.

I like ‘Fish Heads’ for Malkin tho, rolly polly fish heads.

I swear, I’m beginning to think that another unfortunate side effect of TBogg’s assimilation by the migration to FDL is that his trolls couldn’t get past the warm, comforting lake of happy drone pee registration filters, and they’ve spread out to afflict the remaining intelligent progressive blogs.

I understand the S,N! proprietors’ proud stand in favor of freedom of expression, even when such expression most closely resembles what happens when a toddler discovers the contents of his diapers, but if the cockroaches keep coming out from under the wingnut sink, the Sadly site may have to install a universal “PIE: Yes? No?” default button on their front page.

I think some of the individual trolls are actually the same (tireless) person…

I could ban a certain IP, but, well, what’s the consensus?

I don’t like to do that, and maybe a stern warning could work even at this late stage. Warning, Mr. Troll: I officially ask you to please be interesting, and not horribly tedious!

I think Obama’s theme song ought to be Fiebre de Atarantado by Crash Worship, because I always wanted to hear that really loud, over a PA.

Banning IP addresses? I am attracted to the thought of a troll-free Sadly, No, but I picture some sad old man, with a lot of time on his hands, or a person on disability who never gets out of the house. Banning his IP address seems tantamount to abusing a kid with Down syndrome. Stern warnings, then 24 hour bans. Maybe he’ll find a new hobby, like fingerpainting with his toes.

I just Googled an image of Dick Cheney and opened up a youtube version of the Imperial March…really, it’s a match made in heaven! (or hell? or a galaxy far, far away?)

How about…

Is it Over Yet?
Dr BLT
http://www.drblt.net/music/Over.mp3

Gavin, don’t ban it. Simply identify it. Every time you catch a post from that IP — I’m not suggesting you monitor it, but when you spot one — put up something to the effect of:

Message from Bastion Booger [for example], January 8, 2008 at 7:54 was posted from Troll IP Address #1.

You don’t even have to identify the actual IP address, if you’re concerned about outing the troll(s).

What would be cool is if you could automate the process, so that the board would automatically generate a comment like the above whenever a post is made from identified IP addresses. Surely someone has the Code Fu to create such a script.

Gavin sez:
I think some of the individual trolls are actually the same (tiresome) person…

Fixed that for you.

Awh my comment didn’t seem to work. Oh wellz.
Back to reading the lolcat bible…
(By the way, is anyone else excited for them to translate the infamous Leviticus into lolcatspeak? I know I am!)

What none of you lot seem to have considered is that the troll is more of a role than a type, similar to the sex of chiclids (or more to the point groupers, n’es-pas?) in that ordinary commenters will, under certain circumstances, not simply adopt but fulfil the rôle of troll. The fact is, all of you lot should be hanged for being so insufferably vulgar and multi-cultural.

Want to see Michelle cry? Get Max Blumenthal to ask her for an autograph or ask Jessie when is he going to get a j-o-b.

The trolls are so lame though. They won’t even engage. Is it a troll-bot ?
I see this on Drum’s site all the time. They drop an initial “bomb” and then split. And it’s not even a provocative bomb. It’s just a run o’ the mill.

Maybe you could just put a time limit between posts for kevin the “reduces self to racism and homophobia when all else fails” troll, if that’s a realistic option.
Or just make all his posts show up under the name “kevin wants attention”.
I doubt anyone would mind a ban, tho. Fucker is half the comments in some threads.
Or you could just fuck with his comments, add random celebrations of teh gheysecks or pleas for support for Kucinich.

First off, I had no idea of Lemmy’s awesome prescience! Second it’s nice to finally find a lefty blog that gives us something other than hipster shoe gazing drivel, but hey that’s just me. Thirdly, why not create a secondary forum that mirrors the primary one, that trolls can be filtered to, instead of outright banning. That way you could get past the icky feeling of stomping on free speech and it could potentially be of great entertainment value and keep the primary board free of trollish clutter.

If it weren’t for SadlyNo! and lolcat (and Wonkette too), I’d never F*cking smile. Please pardon my lapse into earnestness.

Matt T says:
Gavin sez: I think some of the individual trolls are actually the same (tiresome) person…

Fixed that for you.

I swear, Matt, that’s how I read it the first time through!

I hate to make Gavin go to a lot of extra work after all he does for our entertainment already, but the troll-bots, they are From Tedious. I like a good slanging match as much as the next mucker with anger management issues, but scrolling past these strings of i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i grafflitti is like living with a kitten with diarrhea. No matter how often you mop, there’s always another fetid trail of little brown blobs with the occasional filthy pawprint. Eventually you have to lock the little wretch in a crate, if only for the sake of the rugs, and the couch, and the drapes. Seven-day bans, maybe?

Wow. That “Obama song” is made of pure awesome. That is damn impressive how you found that Gavin.

I look forward to the time, some decades in the future, when Lemmy finally looks his age.

As for Hillary’s theme song, all I can come up with are very boring sexist suggestions like Parker Posey’s rendition of “Teacher’s Pet” from Guffman and Veruca Salt’s “I Want it All” from Willy Wonka. I’d stop myself, but if she really used a Celine Dion song, she really does deserve to crash and burn, at least in the themesong arena. And now I’ve made the most unnecessary political commentary of my life. Still, this is the woman whose spouse’s win launched a million Fleetwood Mac CD sales.

Lemmy Entertains You!!!

I love the sound of Motorhead in the morning.

Here’s another possibility….”Shut up, you talk too much….”

But does Lemmy know?

Seriously, that would be a kickass inauguration song. Either that or “Paint the White House Black” from George Clinton.

It’s sorta fun to attack Clinton, but frankly, she isn’t really that much different from Obama. She has intelligent things to say, just as Obama does. Don’t let yourself be convinced that Obama is really that different from Clinton, I don’t think its the case.

[…] Linked by Sadly No. Thanks! […]

I am taking to “Superstar” by Lupe Fiasco as an Obama theme song.

At the Obama Iowa-watching party they played “A Change Is Gonna Come”. Works very, very well.

Nobody made fun of the RedState email! It must have been done to death elsewhere.

You know, let me make that sharper. There is little to no significant difference between the policies that Obama and Clinton support. If you think that Obama is just a better candidate due to personality or better connections, or lack of history, that’s perfectly fine and maybe wise. Just be clear that that’s why you are supporting him.

I’ll weigh in – yeah, I think Saul Booger should be banned. Not because he’s a boring adolescent fuckwit, but because of the death threats. When he started mouthing off about how liberals should be killed and engaging in limpdick fantasies about hanging, I personally think he shoulda been warned then, if it continued, shoulda been booted.

I’m with you about not wanting to ban people, but I think threats of violence should always be the big taboo.

I’m with you about not wanting to ban people, but I think threats of violence should always be the big taboo.

I see your point, Vin. But there comes a time — like, oh, say, when Mencken posts links to Daniel Pipes — when we all feel a little threat of violence coming on. Know what I’m saying?

Your trolls really are poor quality. Would you Sadlinosians like to hire me as your troll? While I have never knowingly trolled before, I’m intelligent and educated enough to be interesting, and I’m open to suggestions. I have an 18-month grounding in the politics of Sadly, No! and feel I could succesfully imitate any troll from Annie Angel’s legs to the original Rupperto.
With a few helpful suggestions on what would be best for the current subject, I could get the rage juices flowing on both sides like never before.

Although, to be honest, I will never be able to get my head around someone who can use the phrase ‘Liberal Fascist’ with a straight face.

Shalom, my hippie liberal elite fascist friends. Let god into, the fact is, your hearts and all that.

You know, we could hold auditions for the role of Troll. That way our casting directors could select the best. We could have them read scenes, sing numbers, etc.

Or we could go all modern and reality TV on it, and stage a Troll competition a la American Idol.

Can I be a judge?

Gavin: If everyone could just ignore the troll droppings it wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work, and I’ve been guilty of it too.

That said, I vote to ban Booger-Saul’s sorry ass. It’s wasted too much time and space here already.

I think fucking with trolls’ comments would be the most just and hilarious remedy. Trolls serve only to disrupt, and there is nothing wrong with returning the favor on your own site.

BTW, one reason I rarely visit one of my former favorite blogs is because the proprietor refuses to ban certain long-time trollers. The whole place has disintegrated into one big ugly food fight. ‘course they don’t have as many commenters as S,N does so the problem is much worse.

Legalize: Yeah, but then the troll wins cuz he’s derailed the thread and brought undeserved attention to his own self. Plus it seems that would require a lot more supervision on the SNers’ part. If someone is put into the playpen with others and he starts biting and screaming and won’t play nice he gets pulled out and put into time out. That’s the way to deal with children like Booger et al.

Good point, MzNicky. I also agree that Booger’s threats of violence have pretty much earned his/its banning. I have no problem with stupid or smelly trolls – just the bitey ones.

I like the idea of flagging troll comments in the headers–that should encourage people to ignore them.

I also love the idea of having a troll contest. Or rotate it around, like in grade school when the teachers alternted who got to pass out the papers.

Seriously, some analysis into troll psychology and/or strategy would be terribly useful overall. I’m sure there are some on the web already. (I’ve seen some really good ones, but they were on closed bulletin boards or lists. Maybe you could turn it into a learning session: tag the troll’s comments with the strategy used or something?

Wasn’t ELO’s “Hold On Tight To Your Dreams” used in a commercial jingle a while back? To advertise Metamucil, or a cruise line or something?

War’s: “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” which, for years I thought was “I Get Really Depressed!”

Wow. MM really is a big fuckbag o’ hate, ain’t she?

Hey, I know a song for Obama’s campaign: How about “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” only this time we mean it?

For Obama’s campaign, I think Gap Band’s You Dropped a Bomb on Me would work pretty well… even better with slightly modified lyrics! Or is it racist of me to suggest a black man running for office use a funk song for his campaign?

Re: Saul/Booger/Ruppert2 trøllery

Disemvowelment is always an option. Of course you can take it one step further and remove the consonants too.

Well, since in 1992 the Bill Clinton campaign used “Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)” from Fleetwood Mac as their campaign theme, why not stick with a winner and use it again? If Hillary’s promising to be Clinton terms 3 and 4, it makes sense to me.

MzNicky: Honda.

Wasn’t ELO’s “Hold On Tight To Your Dreams” used in a commercial jingle a while back? To advertise Metamucil

Boy, you’d have to be one constipated motherfucker if “Hold On Tight To Your Dreams” made the sale!

“You know, we could hold auditions for the role of Troll.”

The casting couch images that come to mind are too horrible to share.

A reality show might work, though. “American I-troll?” Who gets to be Simon?

J— Thanks. I knew it was something like that.

While openly disavowing all things troll, I have come to appreciate the unique role that trolls play. Without trolls, you would have a stagnant pond subject to the phenomenon known as groupthink.

You would all grow comfortable without being challenged and you would never having to look in the mirror. Trolls may be obnoxious, but they are friends because they disabuse the impetuous blogger of ill-conceived ideas and hackneyed, pseudo-logic.

Also, the term “troll” has become a tool to brand, isolate and discriminate against anyone that doesn’t hold to the prevailing groupthink associated with a given blog community. Trolls are the blogosophere’s leper. But their sickness may be your key to health. To put it in terms introduced by the band, Disturbed, are you “Down with the Sickness”?

i gotcher campaign song right here…..RIIIGHT HEEERE.

Don’t ban anybody. That would be a pussy Washington Post Online bitch move.

I DO, however, love the idea of clearly displaying that Booger/Gary/Saul are all the same person, if that’s possible. Anyone who’s spent any time here sees it clearly, of course, but it would help out the noobs to see what the score is.

Is there any way to rig the thingambob so that flagged trolls’ attempts to post trigger an automatic comment generator, resulting in comments that were diametrically opposed to said trolls’ character? I’m thinking along the lines of Cartman hijacked by aliens, here.
Gary Ruppert’s comments magically become Rupert Everett’s bon mots, Saul spouts Cat Stevens lyrics, etc.

Look at Dr BLT, everyone. That is how you troll.

The threshold for banning trolls has got to be their entertainment value. Have a post where everybody rates their, er, wisdom on a 1-10 scale. Any averaged value below 5 results in banning, not due to position or even content, merely because they are neither smart nor amusing enough to provide value to the Sadly consumer.

There is no doubt that the saul/booger troll is neither funny nor interesting nor even provocative. Nothing greater than a 1.5. Banning the fucker makes the whole site better. It would be like banning brussels sprouts. Oh sure, a few would miss them, but the overall quality of the food service would be significantly higher…

mikey

Oh, and I’m not sure why but I’m convinced Hillary should use Letters to Cleo’s “Awake” for her campaign theme.

It just works…

mikey

Re: Lemmy – he useta live in the same apartment building as a good friend of mine back in the early 90s. One night, at about 2 a.m., we heard loud knocking across the courtyard. We peeked out the window (you never knew in that place, just off Sunset & Doheny, if looking out the window would make you see something that you’d have to recount from the witness chair under cross) and saw a couple of Penthouse Pets, decked out in their best club leather quasi-bondage boob exposure gear, pounding on Lemmy’s door.

Mr. Kilmeister opened his door and the girls slurred something we couldn’t quite make out. But Lemmy grimaced and shook his head “Really ladies, I’m quite flattered and all, but I have to get up early in the morning. I couldn’t.”

The girls slurred some kind of a protest in a higher octave. Lemmy just kept shaking his head and apologizing: “Really, I just couldn’t, thank you, really, but no.” And then he shut his door.

My friend and I turned to each other, aghast that this postnuclear perpetually stoned rocktroll had women pounding on his door at 2 a.m., demanding kinky sex, and he was so used to this that he wasn’t surprised, in fact he turned them down. Where do you sign up for that life?

BTW – I recommend the Motorhead song “Just ‘cos you got the power, that don’t mean you got the right.”

“Look at Dr BLT, everyone. That is how you troll.”

I’m clearly unworthy of such a comment, AshPlant, be it bitter sarcasm or straightforward zeal for the Dr BLT style. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, and thanking you wholeheartedly for your graciousness, undeserved though it may be.

There are significant differences between classical Norwegian trolls and Internet trolls, which is central to my point.

“Really ladies, I’m quite flattered and all, but I have to get up early in the morning. I couldn’t.”
That’s a serious work ethic.

Come to think of it, hasn’t someone already appropriated Bomber in this way? Could have been The Editors over at the Poor Man Institute… could have been Whiskey Fire. Unfortunately I have the long-term memory capacity of a goldfish with ADHD.

Flick the Booger.

“Look at me! Look at me! I’m not touching you!” is not a protected speach act.

Kevin Tsoriasis Saulburger needs to get laid or medicated. He’s a boring pissant.

‘I Am Woman’ -Bill Murray version.

Well thank goodness. For a second there, I thought you had chosen ‘Ace of Spades’.

I suggested the Fishbone option for Obama, but yours works a lot better.

[…] 29, 2008 · No Comments Props to the mad wags at Sadly No! for discovering this Obama campaign song hidden deep within the Motörhead […]

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