Win A Date With Todd Seavey
The Panty Doughload is doing a happy waddle today because he got a good review of Liberal Fascism: From Mussolini to the South Beach Diet. From a blogger named Todd Seavey. I guess Jonah’s expectations for good reviews are rather low, so, like the desperate movie executive who pastes a favorable quote from Jeff Craig (“Rousing!” “Inspiring!!” “Will keep you on the edge of your seat!!!”) into a movie trailer, Jonah is reaching for what he can.
First things first: who the hell is Todd Seavey? (Other than the scary guy in the picture on the right.) Well, for starters, he collects wingnut welfare ($51,224) from the Scaife and Olin-funded American Council on Science and Health, which regularly advocates that trans-fats actually cure cancer and that Twinkies will make you thin. He has also posted the most embarrassing personal ad ever posted on the Intertubes, complete with a picture of himself when he was apparently twenty years younger.
Now to the review itself, which is larded with even more chunks of foolishness than Jonah’s book itself, no mean accomplishment. Like this:
Woodrow Wilson, Mussolini, and later FDR and Hitler constituted a veritable (and vocal) mutual admiration society.
Fighting a war against someone, naturally, is the best expression of mutual admiration.
Once fascism became associated with the Holocaust, the left scrambled to paint fascism as a right-wing phenomenon and deny that the left itself had ever been entwined with fascism.
I can’t figure out if this blithering idiot is saying this because he’s never read a single word about the history of the 1930s and 1940s, or if he sincerely believes that William Randolph Hearst, Charles Lindbergh, IBM’s Thomas Watson, GM’s Graeme Howard and Henry Ford were all leftists.
If we drop the partisan allegiances and look with fresh eyes at, say, FDR interning tens of thousands based on their race … how vast are the differences between Italian, Russian, German, and American collectivism …?
Wait, did Todd just call Michelle Malkin a fascist? He did! He did!! Does he realize that? Sadly, no.
Like Mussolini, who said Wilson was plainly instituting the American version of fascism, American leaders in the early to mid-twentieth century felt that a powerful central state was the logical analogue of faster, more efficient, more modern methods in other areas of life: mass-market radio, automated assembly lines, modernist architecture,
If Mussolini said Wilson was a fascist, well, it’s case closed, isn’t it?* And who knew that the automated assembly line was a liberal idea, cooked up by the extreme left-winger Henry Ford, and that is was roundly opposed by the right who, of course, have always been powerful advocates for humane working conditions?
There’s more in Seavey’s sloppy, wet kiss for the Doughload, but you get the point. I leave the rest of Todd’s review to my fellow SadlyFascists, who will, no doubt, find much more fodder for ridicule in Todd’s post. And there’s a prize, of course, for the snarkiest comment. It’s a date with you-know-who.
* Gavin adds: Mussolini, a weapons-grade bloviator, said a lot of things, but if he was fluffing Wilson, it would have to have been in the late Teens or early ’20s — before he was in power, and right around the time his Fasci Italiani di Combattimento were running around beating the crap out of leftists.
…Who were also fascists, I guess, according to Goldbergian analytics. Fascist-on-fascist violence was apparently a real problem in the early-mid 20th Century.
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Re: mass-market radio
Wireless radio pioneer Guglielmo Marconi actually was a fascist, a member of Mussolini’s Grand Council of Fascism.
I’m amazed, simply amazed, that Fanboy Todd was able to type that steaming pile of crap – considering he has his head so far up his ass, he can probably kiss his own colon.
Seavey Todd, the demon blogger from fleet street, minces perfectly insane arguments and mixes them with the decomposing innards of modern conservativism to produce wingnut pies…
Remember all of those good conservatives who fought against Franco in Spain and wound up being persecuted by that pinko liberal Joe McCarthy for being ‘premature anti-fascists’?
Once fascism became associated with the Holocaust
This was the fault of the liberal press!
The messages B-17 crews used to write on the noses of bombs (“pucker up, Adolf”, “have a nice day” and the like) were actually not ironic. FDR had well-known intimacy issues and couldn’t express affection without simultaneously driving people away.
“Mussolini, and later FDR and Hitler…”
Uhhhhh…
Do we need a Elementary school history book?
“Given my own current project, planning a book on Conservatism for Punks — itself intended to harness the anarchic, creative impulse for productive political ends … ”
Please, I can has illiteracie?
OMG. Now that’s a personal, a very personal, ad. And he found someone! A Koli who watched Spider Man III with him (though it’s unclear if she did anything else with him and/or has already, ahem, broken up with him.)
Seavey Todd, the demon blogger from fleet street
Beat me to it.
Shorter Seavey Todd personal ad:
“Are you looking for a man with a sphincter so tight he farts in high C? I am this man.”
Seavey Todd personal ad:
Do you cry sometimes without knowing why, or without being able to explain why “in words”?
One wonders how often, and from how many, Todd has heard the sound of weeping coming from the other side of the bed….
If we drop the partisan allegiances and look with fresh eyes at, say, FDR interning tens of thousands based on their race
Alright. If I look with “fresh eyes” at the (admittedly shameful) internment of Japanese Americans, will I see that any of them–any at all–were murdered in gas chambers, or worked like slaves, or experimented upon?
“Happy Kwanzaa — or should I say fascist Kwanzaa?”
Umm, don’t wan’t date, not reading more of that shit. Anyone making it past that first line should date him.
That personal ad is the first time I’ve seen the phrase “easy discourse” outside of a Jane Austin novel.
sez Todd:
Given my own current project, planning a book on Conservatism for Punks — itself intended to harness the anarchic, creative impulse for productive political ends — I should keep in mind that all such strategies are playing with revolutionary fire, and not all revolutions lead to Sweden, despite what some socialists might tell you.
Very often, the parody writes itself.
SMASH THE STATE! NO RULES, NO RULERS!
Just be careful.
And, as parting gift:
1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism
2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause
4. Supremacy of the Military
5. Rampant Sexism
6. Controlled Mass Media
7. Obsession with National Security
8. Religion and Government are Intertwined
9. Corporate Power is Protected
10. Labor Power is Suppressed
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption
14. Fraudulent Elections
Seavey looks like Timothy McVeigh’s violent brother.
Seavey, describing Goldberg’s book:
Holy fried shit!
Shitfuckshitcrap!! The left was pro-fascist until the death camps were liberated?!?! Good God almighty… this goofus really is dumber than Pantload. Somebody actually pays him money?
This sort of stuff is a real challenge for me. I love making snarky comments about wingnuts, but I just don’t know how to make fun of something that makes fun of itself. It’s already reached a state of pure stupidity that simply cannot be improved upon.
If Todd put half as much energy into dating as he did into typing out that Personal Ad/Unibomber Manifesto, he’d be getting laid by now. Sadly, he didn’t.
I’ll give him a Christmas sympathy bang, though he will have to keep a bag over his head…even when it’s being jammed into the pillow.
I refuse to believe that Todd Seavey exists, or that his site is not the most brilliant of parodies. The personal ad alone—all 15,000 or so words of it—is a monument to doughy narcissism; in the midst of interrogation, whiny demands and pontification about how exceptionally high his standards are, he never once mentions what it is he offers to the woman of his dreams.
To review:
– Women must meet extraordinarily rigorous criteria before Todd would even consider them candidates for a romantic relationship.
– Books can be authored by Jonah Goldberg.
If sane chicks ARE hot and have IQ’s over a 100, and they date Todd…
I’m confused.
Shalom gentlemen.
“Do you believe yourself to be “highly intuitive” even when you have been repeatedly proven wrong or have no evidence that your intuited judgments proved to be accurate?”
Goldberg, he does not want?
Snorghagen is right. After we collectively suffered through the convolutions of the Pantload last week (ja, we are collective, we are ….I forget), it never occurred to me that there would be meta-pantload to deal with, a contrail of stupid across the clear blue intertoobz, echoing ripples of ignorance, up-is-downism, I’m with stupid log-rolling, w00t! all ur history is mine idiocy.
And now that its started I fear there is more out there, gibbering, craven foolitude that cannot be imagined by the (even marginally) sane.
So, is the rest of the right-wing community ignoring Goldberg’s book? That would be a good sign. If only the strange and silly like Seavey Todd pay attention to it besides us pay attention to it, I mean. The less we have to deal with that shit book, the better.
The bottom line is, the fascist left would like for America and Western Civilization to be destroyed so they can replace it with their own immoral society complete with secular humanism, unfettered abortion, acceptance of homosexuality, pedophilia and other immoral sexual practices, abolition of religion, abolition of private propery and high taxes and huge nanny state government. But we in the Heartland will not let your immoral fascist agenda prevail, we will fight you tooth and nail. We will fight you on the beaches, in the fields, in the cities, we will fight until we emerge triumphant, and we shall prevail. Glory to God! Glory to America! Glory to the Heartland!
That ad made me very, very sad. Good Lord, what must be crawling around in the man’s head. Hint: If you write a personal ad like that, you are yourself not “sane” nor “emotionally disciplined”, and I fail to see why someone who *is* sane deserves to get stuck with you. And, really, you might just want to go for celibacy, because crazy people have enough to contend with that they don’t really deserve to get stuck with you, either.
“We have ways of making you watch Fight Club?” What the hell does that mean?
Well, not really. Just remember that all the fascists were actually leftists and all the leftists were actually fascists. So instead of fascists beating up leftists you had leftists (who claimed to be fascists) beating up fascists (who claimed to be leftists). But since the fascists were really leftists, they were really really fascists again. And the same, in reverse, is true of the leftists. And if you carry it a step further still, the fascists who turned into leftists who turned back into fascists will turn back into leftists again. And the leftists will do the same thing, but in the opposite direction.
That makes sense, doesn’t it?
All snark aside, I really wish I could transport Goldberg and Seavey back in time to 1937, take them to Spain, sit them down in front of some rough cobs from the International Brigades, and have them expound on their lefties-are-fascists thesis. The response would be… interesting.
Wait, did Todd just call Michelle Malkin a fascist? He did! He did!! Does he realize that? Sadly, no.
Of course, MM is a fascist. Unlike Mr. Seavy, she is not melanically challenged. Hence she is a fascist.
I am highly melanically challenged, but by using the phrase melanically challenged, I still get to call myself a liberal fascist, don’t I?
Ya know, Saul seems to meet ol’ Todd’s dating crieria. (Well, okay…if you forget about the criterion about the IQ needing to be 100 or more.)
Um, has Todd even seen Fight Club? Its not political, it’s meant to be wild and hugely unsettling. THe author wrote it specifically to upset his publisher.
I’m sure the right-wing borg is just too busy manning the barricades in the War Against Christmas to concentrate on Jonah’s effluvium right now. After the first of the year the accolades will no doubt start rolling in.
That personal ad was something else indeed. When you read things like that you can see why they turn to third world mail order brides. And it comes complete with a female commenter saying, basically, “Hahaha! You’ll never find anyone! Bitches all crazeeee!”
Wow, that ad was ….. I mean, newspapers or on-line dating services don’t explicitly say that personal ads “should not seethe with hostility”. But I wonder if he’d actually submitted it someplace, rather than just posting it on his site, if some kind-hearted previewer might have gently suggested he reduce the venom : word count ratio.
I dunno, Kathleen. An ad that seethes with hostility and therefore will never be answered and canceled is money in the bank.
He left off rule #11:
Are you a robot? If so, I might consider having a romantic relationship with you.
Can someone explain to me the difference between a “conservative punk” and a nazi skinhead?
I know that not all skinheads are nazis, but there is a reason why the Dead Kennedys felt moved to write a song telling the Nazi punks to fuck off, after all.
And should we read anything into the fact that a pro-“conservative punk” (or nazi skinhead) felt motivated to fellate Jonah’s new book?
Hey, fellow liberal fascists!
It’s only December 24! We have one more day to wipe Christmas from the calendar! FOREVER!
Just pray real hard to the atheist gods (and drink a lot – I mean a lot!) and when you wake up, it will be December 26!
We can win this thing! We just have to want it more! (I mean less. We want Christmas LESS! Just harder.)
Although to be perfectly honest, the people I see who are working hard to ruin Christmas are the hardcore conservatives. I heard a guy bragging “I say ‘Merry Christmas’ because I know it offends people,” and that attitude sums it up neatly for the politically correct conservatie crowd.
Speaking of which:
(I’m reposting this comment without link, for the first time it got caught by the liberal fascist moderation machine and I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!)
Re: mass-market radio
Wireless radio pioneer Guglielmo Marconi actually was a fascist, a member of Mussolini’s Grand Council of Fascism.
I have no eggnog, I have won the War on Christmas.
I miss eggnog.
Nothing says “good will towards men” like jumping to a racist assumption about a poor black woman with a large television set. roy over at alicublog posted the story a few days ago, along with links to Christian paragon Rod Dreher’s take on the topic (obviously the woman is a welfare queen) and Ross Douthat over at the Atlantic who was infected by Dreher’s spew.
The comment threads for both are a textbook illustration of conservative cluelessness.
And Marconi built a transmission station in MASSACHUSETTS, an infamous stronghold of liberal fascism.
I like the way Goldberg “thinks outside the universe.”
Woodrow Wilson admired Hitler? The obscure Bavarian politician who was locked in a prison when Wilson died?
Positive reviews of Goldberg’s book are clearly nothing more than gleeful coprophagia.
And goodness knows, I’ve been waiting years to use that line…
mikey
Hi, all. Just bouncing in for a quick pimp of of my latest post.
Anybody heard of this wingnette before?
I’m hopefully coming back later to partake of more threadly goodness, though the little woman says “No blogging” while we celebrate the birth of teh little baby to that fat guy in the suit and one of his reindeer.
Enjoy whatever holiday you celebrate in whatever way you do, or don’t. I’m really glad I found this blog.
mikey – then you probably like the word “copremesis” as well.
Unfortunately, I never have to wait longer than a few days to use that one…all it takes is another Bush speech.
Todd & D’oh boy are a perfect match.
Woodrow Wilson admired Hitler?
Sure.
And the Japanese fired on Fort Sumter on September 11, 1775.
[insert Woody Woodpecker-type laugh here]
I love how Jonah said “and he actually read it”.
Passive aggressive, and uninformed swipe, at S,N!
They’ve read it Jonah.
Oops. Supposed to have been a question mark after S,N!.
I blame the kitten freaking out around me.
It’s true that Henry Ford did reduce the working hours of his workforce. Though only to surprise his rivals by increasing productivity on fewer hours. Who would’a thunk that most workers cease to be productive or become less productive after 40 hours? Oh well, I suppose that fact alone is enough to cast Ford as a beastly liberal.
Oh, man. That personal ad is worthy of cult worship.
Dood, learn the lesson we all have. If she’s flaking on you, she ain’t into it. Or she’s a flake. Either way, get over it.
I would have no trouble believing that many, many women have disingenuously told old Todd “I’ll call you tomorrow” just to get rid of the gibbering loon.
I mean, it’s pretty much that or a can of mace and a restraining order, I reckon…
mikey
Once fascism became associated with the Holocaust, the left scrambled to paint fascism as a right-wing phenomenon and deny that the left itself had ever been entwined with fascism
Ok, this is a load of crap. A more accurate portrayal would be:
Once fascism became associated with the Holocaust, Republicans scrambled to paint fascism as a crazy-ass European phenomenon and deny that the Republicans had ever been entwined with fascism.
There were groups of US GOP congressmen who toured Germany in the 30s, to see how countries not run by the hated Roosevelt were responding to the Depression. They said a great many things–“we could learn a thing or two from Chancellor Hitler,” for example—that came back to bite them hard in the ass in the 1940, 42, and 44 elections. Part of the reason the Democrats were able to dominate politics for a generation is because the GOP was stupidly, embarrassingly, publically wrong about Hitler and fascism.
It’s really too bad Todd didn’t meet Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey in time. But if I were he, I’d call her and ask if she has any single friends.
A Christmas present for that very special liberal fascist in your life:
A Benito Mussolini action figure! Available at Wal-Mart, sort of.
I’m tired of the continuing message that “Trying to improve the world is fascist” which I’m getting from Greenberg’s (and now Seavey’s) dumb philosophy. Hell, no wonder everyone’s turning up fascist if that’s your definition!
Henry Ford was a liberal? Who knew?
Jillian–I could, but it’d take a very long time. Actually, my husband did his Master’s Thesis on the anti-racist (though not SHARPS) skinheads of Lawrence, Kansas (that was the Anthropology Masters, a subject Saul above needs to look into). They aren’t all that conservative honestly, but the whole “working class” and support for the military are still a big part of the ethic.
Lots of other former punks/aging punks are actually pretty prominent in the “counterjihadi” blogging scene, most using pseudonyms. Some state that they are still liberals, some claim to be completely conservative in the newer, younger model being presented by Coulter, Malkin et al, and just do not mention that they are pro-choice, pro-LGBT or hold other opinions that would lose them “hits”. Honestly though, I didn’t meet anyone when I started blogging as “Pim’s Ghost” who wasn’t in that category. It was later that I noticed some of these folks getting a bit on the fascist side in private conversation (as opposed to on their blogs) or seeing links to sites I hadn’t known of earlier like “Stormfront” or “1389”.
If these memoirs could write themselves, oh, what would they say….LOL.
Has anyone reputable even reviewed Pantload’s doorstop yet?
The fact is, Henry Ford was a liberal because he hated Jews and paid workers too much.
Oh, man, I am still feeling embarrassed about that post of his. I feel like I just accidentally showed my ass to a bus load of nuns. Almost queasy.
Maybe beer for dinner wasn’t such a great idea…
But since the fascists were really leftists, they were really really fascists again. And the same, in reverse, is true of the leftists. And if you carry it a step further still, the fascists who turned into leftists who turned back into fascists will turn back into leftists again. And the leftists will do the same thing, but in the opposite direction.
Don’t forget to carry the 2.
or if he sincerely believes that William Randolph Hearst, Charles Lindbergh, IBM’s Thomas Watson, GM’s Graeme Howard and Henry Ford were all leftists.
Ooh, and don’t forget Walker Bush!
I was going to lay some mockery on this statement, but again I just can’t do it. It’s already attained a state of unsurpassable absurdity and cannot be further exaggerated for purposes of ridicule.
Lies! It wasn’t the Japanese, it was the eco-fascists.
It’s easier for me just to believe that this fellow and his personal ad simply do not exist.
Clif, is there a second prize?
The bottom line is, Jonah Goldberg and Todd Seavy are Patriots who have written the Truth about American History. You liberals fail to realize the true American History because you are deaf, dumb and blind. Here in the Heartland we all know and love real American History which is un-polluted from the politically correct left-wing biases of liberal anti-American professors. Here in the Heartland our teachers and professors are Conservative Patriots who teach the Truth about American History. The truth is that there was no genocide of native americans there was only periods of sporadic warfare in which peace-loving yet tough American Settlers were forced to defend themselves and their families against the marauding savages. We emerged triumphant and claimed the land from the indians because it was God’s will.
Goldberg’s editor is Adam Bellow, author of In Praise of Nepotism: A Natural History and editor-at-large at Doubleday. From “My Escape from the Zabar’s Left,” Bellow’s autobiographical explanation of his journey to neoconservatism (New York Magazine, August 30, 2004):
From the same essay:
Hence Goldberg’s book.
The CDC today released a report on a new and potentially deadly virus sweeping this country. Onset is associated with delirium and delusions of grandeur leading to babbling incoherently and screaming nonsequitors to the heavens followed by rapid onset of brain death. To date the virus, which works extremely rapidly and seems highly communicable, has only been identified in conservatives. None-the-less the CDC strongly advises against any contact with Jonah Goldbergs new scrawl, “Liberal Fascism”, which seems to be a major vector for this infection.
Onset is associated with delirium and delusions of grandeur leading to babbling incoherently and screaming nonsequitors to the heavens followed by rapid onset of brain death…. has only been identified in conservatives
How could they determine the onset?
The bottom line is, it is the left who have delusions of grandeur and are babbling incoherently with their Bush Derangement Syndrone and shouts of “Bush lied kid died”! and “No blood for oil”!
Kid died?
I’m afraid to comment. I’m scared I’ll be too snarky and accidentally win a date with this Seavey creep.
Do.Not.Want.
Kid died?
Rethuglican family values!
The ad: Wow…. I couldn’t read the whole of #1, or #2… and then just stopped. Shakes head.
Jonah: Teh Stupid, it burns. (and you dudes of S, N! deserve our abiding thanks for having the courage to read this crap and report on it so we don’t have to.
Saul: If this isn’t parody…. I wonder does Saul know where Jonah was raised, does he know where Jonah went to college…. More burning stupidity.
The bottom line is, Jonah Goldberg is a Patriot and a good man, the reason you liberals make fun of him is because you are jealous of his success. He is too good for you people.
hey sadly, no! ers, just dropped by to wish you and yours a merry christmas, and say, really really good work on deconstructing the goldberg liberal fascism fiasco.!
So, where are you in the Heartland?
I’m asking because I’m from the Heartland, a real place in Indiana, the town of Middletown in the northwest corner of Henry County. And I know the Heartland, and I have relatives there. I don’t agree with them on everything, but they aren’t total dunbasses, which is how you make the Heartland look. It is insulting to them, it is insulting to me, and it insulting to Americans everywhere, especially Americans in the Hearland, even those whom I disagree with.
So, that’s why I’m asking. Where in the Heartland? Do you have any details? Something to indicate that you are not full of it? Do you know what a Bun is? Have you ever eaten at Pizza King? Ever been to a covered bridge festival?
Give us some details. But be careful. There might be someone on this site who knows about the area you’re talking about. (Full disclosure, Aside from central Indiana, there are also parts of northern Florida, southwestern Mississippi and parts of Louisiana that I know reasonably well.)
And please, in any case, stop slandering the Heartland.
He is too good for you people
Hey Saul, I thank you spelled “to” wrong. Just sayin…
I’m from FallsChurch Virginia.
One wonders how often, and from how many, Todd has heard the sound of weeping coming from the other side of the bed….
I’m going with “never”. Pets don’t really weep. Though come to think of it, his might.
Here’s where Adam Bellow went wrong:
This gap:
it’s just not that big.
Falls Church? Beltway insider! You don’t get much less Heartland than that.
To review:
– Women must meet extraordinarily rigorous criteria before Todd would even consider them candidates for a romantic relationship.
– Books can be authored by Jonah Goldberg.
To be fair, these are delusions shared by nearly all the wingnut males I have had the misfortune to meet.
Also:
Shalom, gentlemen
That troll keeps spelling my name incorrectly.
Presents from Pastor Swank!
ü, worked in preview. ü, so did that..
Falls Church Virginia
When I think of “Heartland America” somehow suburban D.C. is not coming to my mind.
When I think of “Heartland America” somehow suburban D.C. is not coming to my mind.
Saul is merely channelling David Broder.
Or perhaps he is David Broder.
Liberals, I now live in Greater FallsChurch Virginia. However I was born in Blackwell Oklahoma and I lived there until 2002 when I took a job at another Orthodox Synagogue which happened to be in FallsChurch.
Thanks, Saul.
My aunt lives in Falls Church, Virginia.
I haven’t been there since I was a kid. As I recall, Falls Church is part of the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. Doesn’t it share a border with the District of Columbia?
Excuse me for being a little dubious that Falls Church is “the Heartland,” but I’ll assume we can just chalk this up to a matter of semantics, i.e., you’re a conservative and words mean whatever you want them to mean at any given moment.
My aunt, by the way, is “liberal” under the current definition, meaning she has no problem seeing through conservative nonsense, and she knows the War on Terror is a fraud. I spoke to her a few days after Sept. 11. She works in Washington and she told me a little about how crazy the city was and how awful it must have been for the people in New York where it was so much worse.
If she was easily offended, I think she would find it highly inappropriate for you to speak for her.
Please stop.
This is quite breathtaking:
Yes, standing up this loser makes you Hitler, or Jack the Ripper. And probably a liberal fascist to boot.
The internet has certainly opened up new frontiers in the study of douchebaggery. In the old days one would never have a window into a mind this obliviously self-absorbed.
What I mean when I say I’m from the Heartland is that I was born in the Heartland. I was born in Blackwell Oklahoma and lived there until 2002.
Blackwell, Oklahoma?
Damn, I used to live in D.C. now I’m in OKC, glad we’ve taken opposing journeys.
You don’t get more Heartland than Oklahoma fellas.
As far as the whole, Heartland, Homeland, Motherland, Fatherland, Brotherland, Sisterland shit goes…
I’m pretty sure only fascists and communists use that terminology.
So apparently, the “heartland” is wherever most people are poor and vote to make sure they remain that way.
In the Heartland we don’t need government assistance because the people are very friendly and charitable towards one another, neighor helps neighor in need. Thats the way charity should be, private acts of kindness rather than big nannystate government mandates. So in short there is no poverty in the Heartland.
My abridged version of Adam Bellow’s My Escape from the Zabar’s Left:
“Leftists are bullying conformists! Rank and file right-wingers are bullying conformists! On the other hand, neo-cons like myself are highly civilized paragons of integrity, which is why we value great thinkers like Dinesh D’Souza. The fact that I’ve earned the contempt of most people who know me just proves that I’m right, and if you disagree with me your children will hate you.”
When I first looked over Bellow’s article, I misread
…rising Young Turks like David Frum and Jonah Goldberg.
as
…rising young turds like David Frum and Jonah Goldberg.
Where ever there is Traditional Conservative American Values such as in the Heartland there are private acts of charity and goodwill towards one another.
When republicans blew up OKC was the first time I began hating the word ‘heartland’ as in “Terror in the Heartland”.
Didn’t much care for republicans after that either.
I’m from FallsChurch Virginia.
Tapdancing YHWH!!! Heartland? HEARTLAND??!?!? Why not just say you live next door to DC? Heartland my ass!
BTW, when is the much-vaunted sadlyyes.com going up? You promised us.
This man is a massively stupid Ron Paul bot. Here is what passes for his statement of principles:
His writing style borders on the illiterate.
This “Heartland”-born-‘n’-raised liberal Muslim would like to refute your drivel about the Heartland and other matters, Saul.
That is, if it wouldn’t be such a waste of time.
Funny, there’s no synagogue listed in Blackwell, OK. Care to explain that, Sol?
So apparently, the “heartland” is wherever most people are poor and vote to make sure they remain that way.
The “Heartland” is wherever there is the least population density. Conservatives don’t generally like other people. They don’t like to live around a lot of them, and when they do, they have trouble figuring out certain difficulties related to people living very close to each other.
They don’t want to see you, they don’t want to see your house, and they want your damn kids off their lawn!!!! [shotgun rechambering].
Where ever there is Traditional Conservative American Values such as in the Heartland there are private acts of charity and goodwill towards one another.
Like the goodwill Saul expresses towards us. I’m touched. I need a tissue.
Heartland Jews don’t use Synagogues, they use tents.
Saul is a soooooper fake, Jennifer.
Boring troll who used to call himself Kevin, till everyone got bored with him and he couldn’t get a rise out of anybody. Also occasionally uses other people’s names to try and stir shit. Boring little sad-sack not really worth yer time.
So here, where you say:
You actually mean “There in the Heartland,” when you worked as a rabbi at the Orthodox Synangogue in Blackwell, Oklahoma.
That’s not too inconsistent for a conservative. Par for the course. No need to rake you over the coals for that.
This business of speaking for the Heartland – considering my Middletown, Ind., upbringing – I find very inappropriate and insulting to my relatives and friends, many of whom vote Republican (and many more of whom used to vote Republican). They may disagree with some or most of my politics, but all of them will listen and can somehow disagree with me without saying that I want the Islamic terrorists to win.
And they are agreeing with me more and more.
They are witnessing the deterioration of the Republican party, they are coming around on environmental concerns, ALL of them think the war on terror is a fraud.
You are entirely clueless if you think sincerely think you are speaking for the Hearltand.
Now go to the clue store and buy some clues.
Did you know Blackwell was christened America’s Hometown?
It’s true. I’m just wondering if Saul did that before he left.
I think most stores are sold out of clues, since it’s almost Xmas and all. Life isn’t fair. Merry Christmas!
You’ll be shocked, but Saul is a liar. There is no Orthodox synagogue in Falls Church, Va.
http://gunston.gmu.edu/hillel/synagogues.html
Todd Seavey wrote:
I’ve got some bad news for you, Todd. Once you write a favorable review of Liberal Fascism, you no longer have permission to feel superior to any creature more advanced than a banana slug.
You are all poopie-heads who want the terraists to win and you hate Real True Patriots like Jonah Goldberg and Skeevy Todd and I am so from the Heartland and can speak for it and I am a rabbi because I know some of the commandments and you are all liberal fascists ganging up on me and it’s exactly the same as being made into a bar of soap!
(It’s not that transparently fake, I can’t help but notice.)
If you habitually cancel dates with Todd, you’re a monster on par with Jack the Ripper. No, seriously; you’re a demented hell-field.
I’ve never strung anyone along, to my knowledge, and nor have I set up a series of phantom appointments that I had no intention of keeping. That said, however, I would never – no, never – have gone anywhere near a man with such a disproportionate view of evil.
Todd wants a sane woman who would nonetheless put up with that kind of hyperbole in their relationship. The irony here is that anyone who would voluntarily endure his narcissism must be crazy.
More Seavey on Seavey (New York magazine, October 31, 2005):
See my personal ad on my blog, he added.
Maybe beer for dinner wasn’t such a great idea…
Beer for dinner is always a great idea…
I’m assuming that if Todd is opposed to recreational sex AND babies, he’d just cut off his dick.
Just thinking…because you know, he’s like all consistent and shit.
Where ever there is Traditional Conservative American Values such as in the Heartland there are private acts of charity and goodwill towards one another.
Yep: “Honey, the chicken’s gone bad”
“Fine, throw it in the rubbish, the bums will get it later.”
I’m sure Saul means he LIVES in Falls Church and he is a rabbi at the NEAREST Orthodox Synagogue. Or maybe he means that they have Orthodox SERVICES at one of the other synagogues and he presides.
And that he meant that he was a rabbi at the NEAREST Orthodox Synagogue to Blackwell. And that when he said HERE in the Heartland, he meant THERE in the Heartland.
And when he says HEARTLAND he means whatever he wants it to mean, and nobody else’s experience in the HEARTLAND – such as my own, living most of the first 24 years of my life in small-town Indiana – means anything at all.
I had never been offended by the word Heartland until Saul started using it.
It’s clear he knows JACK about the Heartland.
Rules for dating Todd? Written down and numbered?! And so many of them?!?
What a fucking wanker!
I bet he violates every single one of the first set on a regular basis.
Who cares if he’s a hypocrite or not? At least he’s not planning on reproducing (thank goodness for small favors!)
here is one unintended benefit to going into the dating world with a Major Issue already in place: It makes you more flexible about other things. “It’s forced me to become diplomatic about everything else,” says Seavey. “I’ve gotten pretty good at overcoming political differences and religious differences. I don’t care too much if people disagree with me about those things.
Shorter Todd: “I’m desperate enough to take anyone who’ll have me.”
Oh, and just ignore Saul and the other resident trolls. They conform to no logic discernable by the sane and, like some sort of demon leeches, just feed off your reactions.
I mean, read them, laugh and move on. Parody them if you must, but there is no need to respond. Actually, it’s really really really better to not respond.
Instead, have a conversation with someone wittier, saner and smarter. Your blood pressure will fall, not rise. The corners of your mouth will rise, not fall and your muscles will unclench, not clench. Ah.
In all fairness, we should give Todd props for realizing the gene pool would be better off without him in it, and for taking necessary precautions to prevent himself from polluting it. I’m pretty sure his actions have qualified him for an Honorable Mention in the Darwin Awards.
So I drove up to marin to celebrate christmas. As I dropped down out of oakland into berkeley, you could look west at the golden gate, silhouetted in the warm yellow winter sunshine against a crystal blue sky, over a cobalt blue bay. Looking south, the jagged san francisco skyline sparkled in the clear winter air. To the north, Tamalpais slumbered in her purple-green majesty.
I know some of my fellow Sadlys are struggling in the cold and anthrax, so I just wanted to send my warmest Northern California holiday wishes to one and all.
mikey
>I refuse to believe that Todd Seavey exists
I met him once, honest to Jebus I did! Had dinner with him and a bunch of other people with collared shirts on.
There is one unintended benefit to going into the dating world with a Major Issue already in place: It makes you more flexible about other things. “It’s forced me to become diplomatic about everything else,”
Todd says he’s more flexible now? What in the bloody fuck was he like before the surgery?
Seavey Todd reminds me of someone else who had bizarre rules and tests for potential girlfriends.
Diner
Aw, Doodle Bean, I thought we did a pretty good job on Saul today.
And he’s gone, isn’t he?
You can tell I really hate that “Heartland” shit. They are so clueless that they totally fall apart when they meet someone who’s actually from the Heartland and tells them they are full of it. Like when they run into a soldier who was actually in ‘Nam or in Iraq who tells them they are full of it. They just can’t believe that those people disagree with them. That’s why it’s easier to call them “phony soldiers” or “dupes of the Left.”
I must agree that dealing with trolls on the issues is a waste of time. I know better than that.
Claims should not be made without good empirical evidence…
Claims like government should be abolished and biotechnology will make us immortal?
Of course, many girls like a man who makes them laugh…
I’m just curious how that “heartland” talking point got started.
Is it just that Saul and Gary are the same person, so it’s really just one person using it? Or is it being trotted out by multiple trolls on multiple blogs?
If it’s becoming ubiquitous, where’d it start?
So in short there is no poverty in the Heartland
Clearly, fake Saul has never been to Oklahoma. There’s plenty of poverty there.
Not a lot of synagogues, though.
“Not a lot of synagogues, though.”
Nope, I can look out my window and see a Church of God, church of Christ, Baptist Church, a St. SomethingorOther Catholic Cathedral and one I can’t make out the name of, I should go do a quick drive by.
It’s a long-established Gary Ruppert riff. People who’ve been here much longer than me believe that there are several different Garys, but at least one of them has been using ‘heartland’ for a long time. He seems to be posting from Kentucky, judging from his unhinged reaction to a state election a few months back.
Kevin/Saul most likely picked the term up from Ruppert. I’ve had Saul blocked out for months, but I don’t recall him using the word at all in his earlier days.
According to the Orthodox Union, there are congregations in Arlington & Fairfax, so I can only conclude that Saul is driving to services from Falls Church. Naughty, naughty Saul.
Saul,
If you are from Blackwell, you must have been the only Jew in town. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t lynch you. I spent the first 35 years of my life in Oklahoma and my sister still lives in Ponca City. The area (outside of Tulsa, OKC, and Norman) is not really known for tolerance (or coherence, sanity, and rationality). The “Heartland values” I remember most vividly are fuck the niggers, skins, spics, and anyone else who is even slightly different from us. Oh, and Okie Jews don’t use tents, they go to synagogues in Tulsa and OKC. May actually be a few more elsewhere since I left 20 years ago.
Um, I hate to think that Saul was lying to us. He just seemed a little misguided, but I believe he was sincere. I am sure he will return soon and explain all these seeming anomalies.
i was wondering whether a letter-writing campaign would induce the LA Times to drop him. I am mean, has the editorial board seen the book? Aren’t they remotely embarrassed?
Hoosier X, I agree about the heartland thing. That whole midwestern/heartland stereotype thing really pisses me off, no matter what direction it’s coming from. It’s particularly annoying when it comes from a moron like kevinsol.
I live in the Falls Church area.* It’s as blue an area as you’ll find anywhere outside of DC proper. If Saul does live here he gets outvoted every damn election. Somehow that warms my heart….
*(it does not border directly on DC, at least since Virginia took back Arlington/Alexandria in the 1840s. It does border on Arlington County, also an area of the deepest Democratic blue……)
As a fellow Okie living in the DC metro area, I must apologize for Saul, while most Okies are as ignorant as him, it is not really their fault. Oklahoma has a crappy public education system, due to conserva-tards like Saul cutting education in the math and sciences.
Saul – just another Beltway insider out of touch with the REAL America
Mikey, No anthax in the mountains of western North Carolina, just a huge moon that’s casting shadows in spite of a feathery cloud cover. A really beautiful something eve. Best wishes to you and all the other sadlynazis hanging around.
Beer for dinner is never a bad idea. If you have it for breakfast though, it tends to fuck up the rest of your day.
This is not to say that you are a bad person — you may even be better than average in many ways, or at least better than the average woman.
I think if Seavey would just say this line out loud to any prospective date, the world would be saved much misery (as well as the catastrophe of any Todd Seavey Juniors).
Or more briefly: 5?9?, 180 lbs., blonde, Brown alum, writer-editor, likes cats and dogs but owns neither.
Did anyone else see that at the end of Todd’s personal ad? A Brown alum? Didn’t Goldberg warn us right on the DUST JACKET of his book that this is a breeding ground for the worst fascists of all time?
The horror, the horror!
😛
“If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be insane and probably shouldn’t date me (I’m sure many of you would hasten to add “I wouldn’t dream of it!” and that’s good — you’re being wise, for once). This is not to say that you are a bad person — you may even be better than average in many ways, or at least better than the average woman — but you are not the sort of reasonable, level-headed, mild-mannered person with whom another reasonable, level-headed, mild-mannered person like myself ought to spend a lot of time.”
Well it just goes to show. Really this personal ad demonstrates it perfectly. Glibertarians cannot conceive of a world where socialism is not evil, because they cannot conceive of a world where humans love each other–despite their flaws.
I’ve always felt that these folks are, sadly, incapable of loving anyone else.
Well, given that the Daily Show and Colbert Report are back next month, sans writers, we can look forward to D. Pantload being booked on both. Oh, joy.
at least one of them has been using ‘heartland’ for a long time. He seems to be posting from Kentucky, judging from his unhinged reaction to a state election a few months back.
There’s also a Ruppert posting from an agricultural college in Arizona, and I have no qualms about mentioning this because Atrios shared the IP address after it made a particularly noxious comment.
You don’t get more Heartland than Oklahoma fellas.
Wait, isn’t Oklahoma where all the girls are engaging in lesbian sex acts in the high school bathrooms? If so, this “Heartland” is sounding pretty awesome to me.
You do raise a few interesting philosophical questions, SN, such as, for instance, whether claiming that ACSH says trans fat cure cancer constitutes libel on your part, given that you’re not that funny, undermining your ability to claim “parody” or “comedy” as a defense for such a false statement.
You also got my salary and several other things wrong — but what do you care? You have hate, _righteous hate_, on your side, so you _must_ be correct. Or an idiot. Could go either way.
I don’t whether progressives located in Germany have been influenced by fascist traditions, but clearly they’re keeping the proud tradition of German comedy alive and well. And has it occurred to you that you, not I, assumed that everyone sympathetic to Goldberg’s arguments must also endorse everything Malkin says? Indeed, has it occurred to you that you might make many, many false assumptions (and few actual, you know _jokes_ recognizable as such)?
I expect you will respond with more “comedy,” such as calling me a jerk or something, but I’m done with this particular dialogue, so do what you feel politics and comedy demand of you. Try not to let it angry up the blood too much. And read some history about Democratic presidents in wartime if you get bored.
Todd, did you seriously come on over to this house just to point out a few heretofores and howcomes with another blogger? Why not just make a blog post on your own blog? Shit in your own house, please.
If your points are beyond argument then don’t join an argument. Instead you tell SN here that he’s stupid for crawling in the mud and then jump in with him, getting your wisdom robes all soiled with the dirt of the argument your points are ostensibly beyond. If he got facts wrong, provide the facts. If he assumed points, point them out as give detailed corrections. Don’t snivel in the corner and show up on his porch with snot dribbling down your nose and tell him you aren’t a crybaby.
And if you can’t take the comedy, get off the internet. I mean a list of rules, codified and numbered, for dating you? Why do you care so much? You aren’t going to have a kid with her, so what does it matter? Why don’t you settle for a prostitute?
I mean think about it. A prostitute will agree will be as beautiful as you can afford, and she’ll have no interest in children (bad for business and all.) She’ll agree with everything you’ll say about politics and rationality, but still haggle with you over price, just like rule #7 says. She won’t have any baggage from other boyfriends because they are all just her clients (like you will be, but you can always HOPE). I think your companionship problem has been solved, mister.
(And don’t make any claims of having a girlfriend already either. We know how the internet can be used for this “comedy” thing, and everybody has a sense of humor. Even you, Todd)
It’s obvious SN’s post got your blood up with the ad hominem attacks and the typos, which indicate an angry hand and furious and unsteady typing. But this is an assumption, so I’ll withdraw it for the time being.
Jeez though. A Guideline for dating you? Did you expect the girls to come pre-equipped with it before each date? Did you fax it over after you got her phone number? What a loser.
Todd Seavey wrote:
I’m not angry, I’m amused.
It’s a pity you didn’t post earlier, Todd. This thread has already gone stale, and I’m afraid not many of the Sadlies will even notice your wonderful outburst.
Ahhh, this is just too easy.
Ladies take note, he’s a comedy goldmine!
[…] Particularly when he showed up in the comments for our post on his “review” of Jonah the Whale’s minimum opus Liberal Fascism: […]
The books I have published include some of the most notorious tomes of the past decade, including Illiberal Education, by Dinesh D’Souza; The Real Anita Hill, by David Brock; and The Bell Curve, by Charles Murray and Richard J. Herrnstein.
Now that’s something to brag about!
Editor Todd Seavey, 36, is vehemently opposed to having children. He feels so strongly about it that he had a vasectomy at 26.
Whew. That’s a relief at least.
Cheezus, that guy’s a dumbass.
And I showed his list to my wife, who quickly doubled over in laughter. “Yeah, right,” were the only words she could get out between paroxysms of giggles.
Somebody send Seavey a gift subscription to Hustler and a Costco six-pack of Kleenex.
Todd, I have the perfect woman for you, who has the same exacting standards as you! Do you think you have what it takes?
Dude, if you don’t know this blog is funny, it’s because we are laughing at you. Often.
Todd Seavey said,
December 26, 2007 at 9:36
You do raise a few interesting philosophical questions, SN, such as, for instance, whether claiming that ACSH says trans fat cure cancer constitutes libel on your part, given that you’re not that funny, undermining your ability to claim “parody” or “comedy” as a defense for such a false statement.
Um. You’re an editor, right?
And you let this “stet”? No wonder your books are unreadable except by chimpanzees!
Saul said,
December 24, 2007 at 23:18
Where ever there is Traditional Conservative American Values such as in the Heartland there are private acts of charity and goodwill towards one another.
So now New York City is the Heartland? I always thought it was them flyover states where they practice cannibalism…hence the “heart” in heartland…
Saul,
I’ve taken the liberty of re-prioritizing your “bottom” lines in order to head off a dangerous quantum singularity – feel free to rearrange them, but please try to remember: no more than one bottom line per comment thread!
“The [fourth from the bottom] line is, the fascist left would like for America and Western Civilization to be destroyed so they can replace it with their own immoral society complete with secular humanism, unfettered abortion, acceptance of homosexuality, pedophilia and other immoral sexual practices, abolition of religion, abolition of private propery and high taxes and huge nanny state government.”
“The [third from the bottom] line is, Jonah Goldberg and Todd Seavy are Patriots who have written the Truth about American History.”
“The [second from the bottom] line is, it is the left who have delusions of grandeur and are babbling incoherently with their Bush Derangement Syndrone and shouts of “Bush lied kid died”! and “No blood for oil”!
“The [bottom] line is, Jonah Goldberg is a Patriot and a good man, the reason you liberals make fun of him is because you are jealous of his success. He is too good for you people.”
Yeah, Todd, remember how FDR wrote that valentine to Hitler back in 1941?
“In the future days, which we seek to make secure, we look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms.
“The first is freedom of speech and expression — everywhere in the world.
“The second is freedom of every person to worship God in his own way — everywhere in the world.
“The third is freedom from want — which, translated into world terms, means economic understandings which will secure to every nation a healthy peacetime life for its inhabitants — everywhere in the world.
“The fourth is freedom from fear — which, translated into world terms, means a world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that no nation will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression against any neighbor– anywhere in the world.
“That is no vision of a distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind of world attainable in our own time and generation. That kind of world is the very antithesis of the so-called new order of tyranny which the dictators seek to create with the crash of a bomb.
“To that new order we oppose the greater conception — the moral order. A good society is able to face schemes of world domination and foreign revolutions alike without fear.
“Since the beginning of our American history, we have been engaged in change — in a perpetual peaceful revolution — a revolution which goes on steadily, quietly adjusting itself to changing conditions — without the concentration camp or the quick-lime in the ditch. The world order which we seek is the cooperation of free countries, working together in a friendly, civilized society.
“This nation has placed its destiny in the hands and heads and hearts of its millions of free men and women; and its faith in freedom under the guidance of God. Freedom means the supremacy of human rights everywhere. Our support goes to those who struggle to gain those rights or keep them. Our strength is our unity of purpose.
“To that high concept there can be no end save victory.”
From Congressional Record, 1941, Vol. 87, Pt. I.
I went to college with Todd Seavey. He was a bit of a Randroid back then. He even this comic book he created that had Immanuel Kant and Ayn Rand as protagonists. If you’ve ever heard him speak, he also sounds a lot like Kermit the Frog.
[…] post by Clif Similar Posts: Jonah Goldberg on Liberal Fascism Liberal Fascism – Beloved by Actual Fascists! […]
Jonah’s opus screams to be Google bombed.
May I suggest:
Liberal Fascism.