“I cannot recall ever having been this far on the bottom before..”

So, he’s a top?

“The defendant, a career politician with a college education, is of, at least, above-average intelligence,”

This baseless statement alone shows the malicious bias of the judge. Granted, two score years ago the defendant attended college, but does it in any way imply that he retained any inteligence? I think that Senator Craig has clear grants for appeal, and his lawyer can submit his legislative record into evidence to prove that in actuality his inteligence is far, far below average.

Craig on the bottom, and denied withdrawal?

Is this where you’re supposed to say “just lay back and enjoy it”? Or will the appeal complain about the judge’s inappropriately narrow stance on Craig’s situation?

He also said something about pleading guilty because the Idaho media wouldn’t quit POKING into his business. huh.huh huh huh huh. He said poking.

I fail at the funny, so let me just say that I’m looking forward to the “Jail Term for Ex-Senator Craig” headline. You don’t contest a guilty plea in public unless you want to end up behind bars.

Quoth the Senator: “I cannot recall ever having been this far on the bottom before, and I don’t quite know what to do next”

HA HA!

I can’t believe he actually said this, this is better than previous hits, like, “Wide stance”.

Just to be clear….he didn’t actually say this.

I thought I’d try inventing this new thing that I was going to call “satire”, but I must admit I’m rethinking that decision.

And the salmon cheered!

‘Satire’ is hard to do with a blocked article. So, for that matter, is ‘reading’.

The article in the local paper didn’t have your quote but I figured that they edited out the choicest bits… oh well, I should trust my disbelief more often.

Very funny though! It’s still got me laughing.

This decision was swift, or I’d say justice “stalled” is denied. As an alternative career, I heard George Michael is looking for an extra for his new music video.

msnbc has a story up saying he announced he won’t resign after all

thought I’d try inventing this new thing that I was going to call “satire”, but I must admit I’m rethinking that decision.

Maybe you could label the pieces JillianNewsNet

Hell, this is at least as accurate as Conservapedia.

Linking to an article and then claiming that the article says something that it doesn’t isn’t satire… it’s just lame.

Linking to an article and then claiming that the article says something that it doesn’t isn’t satire… it’s just lame.

Because true satire of a news article simply consists of repeating the substance of the article unchanged in any way.

Did anyone mention Craig’s reaction to the judge’s final repeated poundings of the big gavel?

I thought it was funny, and if one didn’t immediately get the satire … i mean come on. Secondly, the Governor of Idaho or Iowa, or wherever the fuck, is named “Butch.” In any event, I fully support -er or rather, I entirely stand firmly behind – um, no, I completely remain rock hard in my – no no, I stand totally committed to caressing the totally heterosexual, manly, yet sensitive thighs – FUCK!

Shoot, I don’t know.

I’ll admit I was fooled, for no good reason. The standard format here for direct quotes from linked articles is blockquote against a blue background. Shame on me.

Jillian-

Dennis Perrin occasionally does satire news pieces that are very hard to tell if they are real or not.

I say keep it up. If someone doubts the veracity, there’s always teh googles.

Good satire should be slightly confusing.

LameCry- Go back to lamesville with the other lamies. Good choice not to leave a link.

I usually come to Sadly, No! to read verbatim transcripts of New York Times articles…doesn’t everybody?

Ever the optimist, I’ve been predicting a 6-seat Senate gain* for the Dems in 2008. Maybe time to revise that up to 7.

—

* NM, OR, NH, VA, plus three of CO, ME, AK, NE, NC, minus LA, if anyone cares.

Well, LameTry, if you weren’t satisfied why don’t you top it? If you are up to it, post a more stimulating comment rather than just rubbing folks the wrong way.

False….but accurate!

The important thing to remember is that Larry Craig is a Republican, and all Republicans are perverts, adulterers, moral cowards and traitors who deserve nothing but scorn and ridicule from patriotic Americans.

Oh, and we all learned a valuable lesson. (I always forget that part.)

Did anyone mention Craig’s reaction to the judge’s final repeated poundings of the big gavel?

And then he waggled his wig!

But I’m sure this player of the pink oboe will soon be dropping soap in the slammer.

As long as the star witness isn’t a lezboid, of course.

(I’m on a bit of a youtube trip tonight, as you may have noticed.)

There is a difference – whether you are capable of seeing it or not – between attributing something to an ordinarily reputable news source, and attributing it to a fake one. When you make up quotes and attribute them to a reputable source, you’re no better than a Republican. That’s not satire, that’s just lying. The satirical point could have been made without connecting it in any way to a trusted news source.

In future, I will keep in mind that Jillian and Sadly, No!, which I used to enjoy, can no longer be trusted.

He will forever be know for coining the phrase ‘Wide Stance’.

And for that, I thank him.

Man, is that dude taking it personally, or what?

I still trust y’all. Except for the hippie. You can never trust a hippie.

I think we need to pass a bill in the halls of our Great Congress that deals with these liberals and their atrocious attribution. It is hurting the troops, and ripping the moral fiber of this country asunder!

I was attacked personally merely for pointing out that it was poorly-wrought “satire.” If I am attacked personally, may I not then take it personally? Is that OK with you?

There is a difference – whether you are capable of seeing it or not – between attributing something to an ordinarily reputable news source, and attributing it to a fake one.

There is also a difference between people who get a joke and people who don’t. After that, there is a further difference between those who let it go and those who are cranky that they missed it.

I love these differences, and I’m all for celebrating. I’ll be in the 2nd stall.

If I am attacked personally, may I not then take it personally? Is that OK with you?

No.

Oh Bubba, you scamp!

Don’t get hot, I didn’t mean to chafe you.

How can an anonymous poster be attacked personally?

That’s like killing meat.

I guess LameTry never read Billmon.

If he does not get it on the first try, then let him be whipped until he does.

No doubt the thrust of the judge’s opinion, delivered with no little heat and power, left Senator Widey gasping for relief. Ah, but more – and longer! – was yet to, ah, come…

I’m relieved to hear that Craig is going to stick it out in the Senate — as long as his stalling tactics do the trick.

Larry Craig is like Iran. They’re both not gay…

“Craig is going to stick it out in the Senate…”

Obviously, Larry’s gonna stick it out wherever/whenever he can.

The original story really did say “poking,” though.

See, LameAss, I clicked on the link and read the story for myself, and then saw that Jillian had goosed it. So, in conclusion, get a life.

In related news, Senator Craig has challenged the VP to fight, because, in Craig’s own words, “I never met a Dick I couldn’t lick.”

…too much?

LameGuy said,

How can an anonymous poster be attacked personally?

If his real name was LameTry? Which would explain everything.

I was attacked personally merely for pointing out that it was poorly-wrought “satire.”

Someone made fun of you. You should try being attacked sometime, you’ll discover the difference.

Senator Craig (R – so very R) broke with party discipline today, announcing he didn’t fancy Bush.

i didn’t read the artcle, but I saw Jillian’s quotes as a win-win situation. If Craig really said that: funny. If Jillian wrote it: Very funny!

I just found out The Onion has fake news. I’m not going there anymore. No one fools me and gets away with it.

“Pwease weave Wawwy Cwaig awone! The distingushed congwessman has alway been vewy wesponsible, and vewy nice to Walter!”

Ahh man. Yesterday somebody said The Daily Show was fake news.

Now you’re tellin me I can’t believe what I read on Sadly, No.

Next you’re gonna tell me the pics of the Romney boys that tbogg posts on Sunday aren’t really the Romney boys.

I just don’t know where to turn for real information.

I guess I’ll stick with Wikipedia….

mikey

Today Larry Craig announced his plans for when he retires from the Senate. He intends to join the well-known subversive group, ANSWER. Asked why he would execute such a complete political about-face, he replied, “I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m ready to stick it to The Man.”

Senator Craig (R – so very R) broke with party discipline today, announcing he didn’t fancy Bush.

“He’s in trouble with most of us,” Mitch McConnell allowed in a casual moment between meetings. “He’s always been okay with Boehner though.”

Craig didn’t seem willing to go down without a fight, telling reporters he had a big thing coming up.

McConnell did note, though, that he had been very pleased with the latest motion of senator Craig, calling it ‘a bold and stimulating approach to a sticky issue.’

I’m convinced that he must be a secret Democrat. How else to explain how greatly he will help the Dems by hanging around?

Headline tomorrow: Craig makes Republicans sore

Boehner is a real man, unlike you liberal wimps. He understands heartland values, and will defend America. He knows when its time to SHUT UP, and you liberals should know it is well past time, with your bias and hate.

Craig’s candid memoirs: Boehner shut me up, proved quite a mouthful.

Ok, Gary. I’ll shut up.

Can I still tap my foot?

mikey

Boehner knows when its time to SHUT UP?

Gee Gary, can you provide any actual evidence of Boehner ever shutting up? (And when he’s in the tanning machine doesn’t count.)

~ifthethunderdontgetya, posting from the liberal elitist coastland city of Columbus, Ohio.

Boehner is a real man, unlike you liberal wimps. He understands heartland values, and will defend America. He knows when its time to SHUT UP, and you liberals should know it is well past time, with your bias and hate.

Hey, I’m a real cat, and a girl cat at that. And the “bias and hate” thing? Tell me who’s howling for Muslim blood, Ruppert. Sure ain’t us dirt fucking hippies.

heh. I get that all the time. “All right, all right. So Karl Rove didn’t add ‘and I solemnly swear I’m up to no good’, at the end of the oath before the grand jury. I admit it, I’m sorry for misleading you. No, please, put the knife down – and don’t cry. Come, I promise I’ll make it up to you. Listen: ho,ho, I’m Ted Kennedy and I’m driving a car down the road like nothing’s hap.. *bump* oooh, no what was that(!)”. [fade to black with sounds of trickling childish laughter]

Consider for your amusement.

Michelle Malkin and her readers are photoshopping the presidential seal to suggest how hippie communist dope smoker gay lesbian surrendercrat Barak Obama would have to change it.

Now that Sen. Craig’s career is in limbo he should have an easier time looking into the next stall.

I saw that earlier, El Cid. Did you note the common taters howling their approval of the malkintent™’s mad photoshopping skillz?

Rapper, photoshopper, cheerleader. What more can be said?

@jgmurphyj

I’m convinced that he must be a secret Democrat. How else to explain how greatly he will help the Dems by hanging around?

Don’t you mean a “closet” Democrat?

But the gays can’t get behind that new seal, because it’s soooooo tacky! Purple and green? Ewwww!

Qetesh, I like the idea of dirt fucking hippies; it sounds so back-to-the-land. The girl cat who runs things around here is into the dirt thing too, and she’s a bit of a long hair at that so I think she’s hiding her DFH past. That’s fine, we’re all DFH’s here.

Uh, I want to completely and utterly disavow any knowledge of that LameTry dude. I don’t comment here that often, but hopefully some of the regulars will recognize that I am not in the habit of getting peeved about satire appearing on a satirical web site.

Wouldn’t it be MARVELOUS is the Judge in question was hard right, anti-gay homophobe appointed by a Republican?

Also, I’m highly amused anytime one of the “elites” be them media or corporate or social or legislative, get treated like any old joe-shmoe 99% of the population; and are completely floored that no one at this level gives two shits and a pencil about who they are.

Heh heh. You’re right, some. But that doesn’t prevent me from demanding of cops “Do you have any idea who I am?”.

It doesn’t do me any good, but it kinda backs them off a little because they have no idea. Because I’m nobody. Gives me a giggle…

mikey

I like it Mikey; perfect.

Found on teh innert00bz, presented for your amusement.

Judge: “Senator Craig, let’s stop pussyfooting around the issue.”
Craig: “Your honor, I assure you, I never pussyfoot around anything.”

The Senate has an overwhelmingly male population — no wonder Sen. Craig refuses early withdrawal! Plus, he’ll soon have his own, private bathroom, courtesy of his Republican colleagues:

‘ “I can’t think of anything good about it,” said Senator Saxby Chambliss, Republican of Georgia.

‘“You don’t want to know what I really feel,” said Senator Jim DeMint, Republican of South Carolina.’

No need to get cocky about your flamboyant way of teasing words to make them have some queer new definition, Jon H.

And, Paddy Mac; “Craig refuses early withdrawal”? Come, now. You’re just begging for the wingnuts to explode all in your face over that little quip.

….I’ll just… go do something else now… *cough*

He is such an idiot. This judge actually saved him from himself.

If Craig had been allowed to withdraw his guilty plea, the state would have been free to re-institute the more serious charge of lewd conduct, conduct a trial, subpoena witnesses to make their case and who knows? Larry could have ended up behind bars. And you can forget about collecting your Senate pension if THAT happens (at least I think not….)

“Don’t you mean a “closet” Democrat?”

Touche, my dear, touche!

Ruppert, considering your background, isn’t it time you shut up?

http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg

The liberal in me hates to see anyone’s Constitutional right to gay bathroom sex infringed upon.

But the kid in my loves to watch a douchebag hypocrite squirm.

Oh shit! Contributin’ to the delinquency of a minor in the heartland!

No but, he’s been framed…lookit:

http://kscakes.com.nyud.net:8080/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/srsly-u-gize-i-just-has-a-wide-stance.jpg

Speaking of totally straight – well not at all actually, Malking and her brood are busy wetting themselves over the Folsom event sponsored by Miller:

http://michellemalkin.com/2007/10/04/miller-sponsored-miller-approved-the-folsom-street-fair-uncovered/#comments

Seriously, what must it be like for people with such delicate sensibilities to be outraged to the point of spoiling their knickers over silly happenings – multiple times per day? Do they have to keep a 6 pack of Haynes Boxers at work? Are diapers more cost-efficient?

Oh, my. Via Attaturk, another Wide Stancer:

Lew Conduct in mall restrooms

The report said DiFatta slid his foot into the deputy’s stall and tapped the deputy’s foot. In the report, Conley noted that such activity is common among men to indicate a willingness to participate in sex.

The detective asked DiFatta, “What do you want?” according to the report, and he replied, “I want to play with you.”

Is he a Republican?

From his bio: Member, Republican State Central Committee (1996-2004)

I hope someone is keeping a running tab of the totally heterosexual GOPers tricked into appearing to be less than totally heterosexual.

There is a difference – whether you are capable of seeing it or not – between attributing something to an ordinarily reputable news source, and attributing it to a fake one. When you make up quotes and attribute them to a reputable source, you’re no better than a Republican.

And whether you can see it or not, there’s a difference between “quoting an article”–which the folks on this site do often, always using block quotes or italics with a direct attribution like “The NYT times”– and “rewriting an article as satire.” The latter is fairly clearly indicated here by the lack of quoting formats and attributions, the dateline at the top, and the non-journalistic writing style: “stern, unforgiving judge”? “sounded like gasps of desperation”? Unless you went to the Soft Porn School for Journamalism, those really stand out.

And then, just in case you miss those clues, there’s a corker at the end:
…okay, I’m done. Consider this your home for having some fun with Larry “I’m not Gay; I’m a Hypocrite” Craig.

See, that “I’m done” without any change in format indicates that “I” have been writing so far. Since “I” doesn’t usually write for the NYT, that kind of clinches the “satire” conculsion.

Jillian, I thought it was great. And I still trust you.

One more take on the logo.

http://bonstemps.com/Zombiebirdhouse/new-repub-convention-craig.jpg

Hmm…looks like an Asian elephant, given the ear size and head bump, which is native to Indochina and South Asia.

Hardly an American icon, y’know. I mean, Indochina and South Asia? Like, Malaysia and the various ‘stans? ZOMG THE MUSLIM HORDES!

Maybe they should just go with Franklin’s idea of the turkey.

I love the various photoshops but I think that elephant is using all his weight desperately trying to keep the closet door closed.

Not all that OT, the Log Cabin Republicans are going to be running an attack ad on Mitt Romney by highlighting his past support for liberal social positions. The GOP primaries are going to be fucking hilarious.

And in case you hadn’t heard, even funnier is the the fact that James Dobson and friends are considering backing a third party candidate. If I lived someplace like FL or OH I’d go door to door collecting signatures to help their candidate get on the ballot.

I’m sure somebody already beat me to this, but:

Mr. Craig had his defenders among the Republicans, including Senators Michael Crapo

There is a difference – whether you are capable of seeing it or not – between attributing something to an ordinarily reputable news source, and attributing it to a fake one. When you make up quotes and attribute them to a reputable source, you’re no better than a Republican. That’s not satire, that’s just lying. The satirical point could have been made without connecting it in any way to a trusted news source.

In future, I will keep in mind that Jillian and Sadly, No!, which I used to enjoy, can no longer be trusted.

If you think the New York Times is trustworthy, then you have more problems with gullibility than merely falling for a clearly satirical blog post.

If you find this snark so confusing, let me inform you that Andrew Wyeth didn’t paint a companion piece to “Christina’s World” called “Christina’s Overturned Weber Grill”, Rick Moran didn’t really rob a convenience store, and Pam Oshry was not the villain on an episode of Monk.

Now please take your concern-trolling where such things are institutionally appreciated, like the Democratic Leadership Council.

You just beat me to it, Commie.

Mr. Crapo, a friend and ally on state issues, said he strongly supported Mr. Craig. “I look forward to working with him in the Senate as he resolves his legal battles,” said Mr. Crapo.

No love for Mr. Crapo, Jillian??

Heard something on NPR about a Senate Ethics Committee probe of the Craig issue. I’m starting to believe that reporters are intentionally slipping double entendres into their stories.

Well, sure, Gus.
“Pull my finger!” only works on TV.

Pam Oshry was not the villain on an episode of Monk. ?

FUCK!11!!!

I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but I would never consider making a critical response to a post here after just reading it once. If everything here, or anything for that matter, was as it seemed at first glance it wouldn’t be worth reading. Plus the fact that Jillian never attributed the quote to the NYT, she just linked to a real story which doesn’t , obviously, share the same headline, and so on and so forth.

Jillian is not Brad or Gavin or whatever anyone’s real name is. She should have her own voice, tough shit if you don’t get it first go ’round. And besides she wasn’t satirizing the NYT anyway. If you’re going to blockquote somebody, it could be because they are completely ridiculous on their own. Who could change one word of a Mark Noonan post and make it funnier? On the other hand if you’re going to point out the obvious fact that not nearly enough homoerotic references have been made about Larry Craig, a phony news article seems perfect. Run with it Jillian. In related news, Craig denies he will run for reelection because he has been polling behind his democractic challenger.

No love for Mr. Crapo, Jillian??

She’s leaving it for the folks at World O’ Crapo.

[…] Is this Opposite Day? Opposite Month? I just don’t get it. Stuff like this is supposed to be MY line, not Pastor Swank’s line! I can’t even add anything to that. Because of that, one can […]