The more important question is whether the article reminds these girls to vet their selection with the Garance before doing anything.

Bloggers love having an audience almost as much as they like a battle of wits, so stir up some controversy by telling him when you disagree with a post.

Especially try this one if you have a crush on Jeff Goldstein.

“Bloggers love having an audience almost as much as they like a battle of wits, so stir up some controversy by telling him when you disagree with a post.”

Also, there’s nothing a komodo dragon loves more then the thrill of a chase and the adrenaline of a kill, so be sure to go around kicking them in the head!

Seriously. How is being a contrarian bitch supposed to rouse affection? This is like a bad Shakespearian monk’s plan.

From Derbyshire:
Even with the strenuous body-hardening exercise routines now compulsory for movie stars, at age 36 the forces of nature have won out over the view-worthiness of the unsupported female bust.

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff. Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman’s salad days are shorter than a man’s — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20. The Nautilus and the treadmill can add a half decade or so, but by 36 the bloom is definitely off the rose.

Jesus weeping bloody Jehosaphat! 15 to 20? So he doesn’t fancy adult women? This is just Ace and his vaginas all over again, isn’t it?

I’ll have pencildick Derbyshire know that I can still pass the pencil test, despite being all of nearly 45. I bet he can’t say that.

And Some Guy: just as a komodo can kill with the poison of its saliva, so too can bloggers kill with the virulence of their vented spleen!

Salad days? Salad days?! Derbyshire can keep his feckin’ salads.
I went straight to the main course, and am now in my batter-fried black pudding days,

Herr Doktor, that’s a very scary thought. The word “Eckythump” leaps inexorably to mind.

Derbyshire needs to be shown a dictionary, a salad bar, and a copy of Playboy, so he learns that breasts are not green and leafy.

At least, mine have never been so. Maybe they need some surgery? To go with the labiaphrectomy? And the new teeth and the face lift and the god knows what else?

Apropos of nothing, I’m still giggling about Lako’s comment on the Ace vagina thread. That conversation just cracked me up.

I thought Seventeen existed to ruin young women’s lives.

Wait a minute — what’s wrong with a nubile 17 year old who still secretly keeps some of her plush toys in her bedroom hooking up with fat, sweaty, anti-social loners with a chip on their shoulder and a chopped-up hooker buried in the basement? Oh, actually, wait …yeah, that’s wrong.

By the way, totally unrelared but word is that the democratics gave up on the war spending bills we wanted because LIeberman threatened to change party affiliation if they kept pushing.

because LIeberman threatened to change party affiliation if they kept pushing.

He threatened to switch parties? Don’t these chumps understand that that is exactly what needs to happen? Lieberman needs to become a Republican, because that way he would be his normal value again. (Very small in other words.)

Do you have any harder evidence that that is what happened?

Great. I’ll use this article to lure Steyn down the yellow brick road to a certain kind of watering hole that allows me to pour in his drink a little vial of green liquit marked “roofies.”

And to Seventeen: please stop trying to ruin young women’s lives.

They can’t. It’s in their mission statement.

Rats! Now I see that the prescient Col. Klink got there before me.

Drat! I’ve been wasting all this time smoking cigarettes and playing teh rock and/or roll music to get teh ladees.

You know, I’ll admit that I’m a young whippersnapper — only 42 — but I’ve sorta noticed that women who are roughly my own age, at whatever age I was, tend to be the ones I find teh hotnis. Hell, I’ve even started noticing that a bit of the dreaded “middle-age spread” has a certain charm to it.

Does that make me a freak? Is being a borderline pedophile the norm now?

Hey I’m a blogger dude and seventeen is plenty legal over here!

Seepesate, if you’re a freak so am I. I’m just a little bit younger than you and divorced a few years now. Virtually every married guy who wants to know what it’s like to be single again asks me a question along the lines of “how much fun is it to be banging 20-somethings?” Most are smart enough not to ask in earshot of their wives but not all. They’re shocked when I tell them I wouldn’t know anymore because I like women my own age or a little older. Experience in life is teh hot. Youthful naivete is not.

Next month in Seventeen:

How to pick up gamer geeks–it’s not as hard as you think!
Step 1: Say “hello”.
Step 2: Wait six months before filing the restraining order.

Sheesh.

what’s wrong with a nubile 17 year old who still secretly keeps some of her plush toys in her bedroom

Secretly? Hell, there are women in their twenties that I’ve dated who still keep Mr. Snuffles on their bed and proudly display him to all concerned.

What is this with “bloggers”? There’s like 100 million bloggers. How can they be considered in any way to have anything in common? They are a complete cross section of the population. The only thing they have in common is that they use the intert00bz to write stuff and most hope that others will read it. That certainly makes them a monolithic bloc, don’t it?

mikey

Yep, mikey, Gavin and Ace of Space, just totally, like, the same, ’cause they’re both bloggers!

You know, even when I was 13 I wasn’t stupid enough to believe or care about anything appearing in Seventeen.

Seventeen is where writers of Highlights go to die.

Bloggers enjoy “a battle of wits” and the best way to get them to like you is to express a viewpoint different from their own?
Someone call that guy from “Numb3rs”, because this has to be some sort of secret code.

It’s worse than you think. Real 17 year old girls don’t read Seventeen. Little middle school girls who want to be teenagers read Seventeen. Now we’ll get 13 year olds trolling here. I mean, female ones this time.

Maybe Gary can get a date.

“This is like a bad Shakespearian monk’s plan.”

See, this is what bugs me about the internet–you can’t swing a cat without hitting a “Measure for Measure” reference. The guy wrote other plays, you know!

atheist asked:

“Do you have any harder evidence that that is what happened?”

Sorry to further hijack this very nice teenagers-dating-bloggers story, but atheist, check out the Rude Pundit’s recent blog entries (no, not the one about Maureen Dowd’s colossal vagina).

Now we’ll get 13 year olds trolling here. I mean, female ones this time.

Shush. We don’t want the homeschoolers showing up again, just when we’ve been relatively pie-free since the server switch.

Larry:

Thanks dude. I will check that out, and the one about Dowd’s colossal vagina.

I didn’t view my presence in the bed as a secret in anyway.

— Mr. Snuffles

P.S. Give my regards to that nice Mr. Derbyshire. I think he actually pronounces it Darby-sheer. At least that’s what he seemed to be telling my owner. It’s “your the master, Mr. Darby-Sheer” – get it right you little pencil holding heathen.