Memorial D’oh!
Hey, you’ll never guess what.
Remember how the WingNet was going crazy-mad yesterday about that memo from Iraq that was supposed to be a forgery? Remember, for instance, how Ace was crowing that the Washington Post had yet to answer his charges:
Still no response from the reporter. Her refusal to comment is suggestive to me that she did in fact base her story on this absurd forgery.
…whilst calling Juan Cole a ‘dickhead’ and a ‘fucking idiot,’ and so on and so forth?
Juan Cole, among the bazillion lefties who linked the shoddy document as legitimate, refuses to retract his claim, saying he “[doesn’t] accept the reasoning” of LGF’s posts (apparently he didn’t bother clicking to mine) […]
Hey, dickhead? What more “reasoning” do you need than this?
No, go on. You’ll never guess what.
Still no response from Ace. His refusal to comment is suggestive to us that he’s hiding under the computer desk today with circles under his eyes, bingeing on Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk.
Update: Whoops, we spoke too soon.
Here was Ace yesterday, (text via Glenn Greenwald, addressing Middle East expert Juan Cole:
Hey, dickhead? What more “reasoning” do you need than this?
[photograph of figurine eagle]
This is a fucking hummel eagle and flag figurine from a cheesy knicknack vendor, you fucking idiot. What additional “reasoning” do you need?
It’s this [Green Beret and retired senior officer of U.S. Military Intelligence and U.S. Army Special Force] Pat Lang character, a lefty buddy of [former CIA analyst] Larry Johnson’s, who’s been passing this obvious sham around. . . .
What kind of idiots do we have in our “intelligence” community, exactly?
When they give you an intelligence test, do they require you actually fail to get the job? Or at least post a not-too-high, not-too-low score somewhere between “average intelligence” and “borderline imbecile who sits in the corner all day clapping and masturbating”?
Here’s Ace today:
While Gleen Grenwald [sic] is crying vindication, it seems to me he’s jumping the gun a bit. For one thing, among the possibilities I mentioned was that there was in fact a real memo, but the “memo” being circulated was not the actual memo itself, but a Microsoft Word created facsimile. I didn’t want that to be the case — I was hoping for full snookerage of the WaPo just for the embarrassment — but it’s a a little childish of Gleen to pretend that I denied that could be the case.
Unless we’re imagining things, Ace’s ass-covering seems to have changed a bit since we first saw it this afternoon. (We remember the original exculpatory argument having been that the breaking-news!1!! must-credit-Ace!!1! emails that he volcanoed out to the right-wing media included some kind of caveat about the story not being totally confirmed yet).
It’s impressive, though, to see Ace regaining form so quickly, inventing a whole new reality in which he never said what everyone just heard him say. He goes on to claim that this incident only goes to show that it’s really liberal critics of Ace such as Glenn Greenwald who are crazy and wrong, then adds a bravura flourish by accusing them of projection for criticizing him.
There must be a medical term for this.
“…bingeing on Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk.”
Do you know what that stuff looks like when it comes back up? Super Chunk indeed.
Let’s play a fill-in-the-blank game! I’ll start.
Juan Cole is a respected, tenured professor Modern Middle East and South Asian History at the University of Michigan, is fluent in at least seven languages, has lived and worked extensively in the Middle East and has published extensively on the topics of culture, religion and politics.
Ace of Spades is a __________________________________ .
mikey
Every time, every time.
Maybe he’s just playing with his Bacon & Play-Doh Building Set.
Yes, but Ace is also hiding from the giant Chaucerian queyntes that are coming to get him, too. So there’s a good reason to be under that desk.
Ace of Spades is a _______cockbag_______________________.
What do I win?
Can I suggest a non-photoshop photo contest?
As in, we all get some bacon and playdoh, let our artistic juices flow over them (disgustingness intentional), and send in pics of our best attempts?
Or hell, photoshop it too, just this way the rest of us can play.
Gavmo, I think it was Half Baked.
Gambling’s for fools, but that’s the way he likes it baby.
Are you getting DOS’ed when you slag Acehole? I thought it happened after the last serving of bacon lettuce and playdoh.
Juan Cole is a respected, tenured professor Modern Middle East and South Asian History at the University of Michigan, is fluent in at least seven languages, has lived and worked extensively in the Middle East and has published extensively on the topics of culture, religion and politics.
Ace of Spades is a __________________________________ .
A Repugnican whore….one of the 28 per centers who are too stupid to dress themselves.
Ace of Spades is a heterosexual typist, and by heterosexual typist I mean someone who really really really is, uh, manly and likes ladies and stuff, which he types about all the time.
Hey, underline works in preview and fails on posting.
Two questions:
1) Why in the name of Baby Jeezus should a Washington Post reporter feel compelled to respond to any jagoff wingnut blogger? Do “ace” and his sort actually barf out this stuff then sit around, smirking and stroking their wispy facial hair and thinking ha! I knew it! The Washington Post has yet to get back to me! Proof positive that I was right! ?
2) Do the jagoff wingnut bloggers ever get anything right? I mean, fucking ever?
It seems this sort of thing happens with plottable regularity. Hmmmm. I may dust off my grad school SPSS software and give it a whirl.
Btw, Flopping aces is now treating the memo as provisionally verified, and lecturing their Dan Rather doll made of straw about how to journalistyialize properly. After having repeatedly, unambiguously, referring to the memo as a forgery. Based on their spidey-sense.
N ace isn’t hiding, he’s in denial and trying to bury the oopsie under a blizzard of short, pointless posts.
It would appear insulting Juan Cole has become a late May tradition at the Ace O’ Spades HQ. Remember last year when the wingnuts were trying to do their part to help derail Yale’s hiring of Cole? Ace O’ did his by reviewing Cole’s review of “The Da Vinci Code” and insulting him throughout. He called Cole a “leftist soft-head” and a “jerkoff,” among other zingers.
Thanks to Ace’s investigative reporting, it’s been conclusively proved that the troops haven’t been lacking for bacon at all… however, he’s yet to find the image on Google which might have been used to fake the memo that declares there is also a play-doh shortage.
Ace of Spades: Wrong on Vaginas. Wrong on Memos. Just pretty much Wrong.
What MizNicky said. I’d be more inclined, Ace m’man, to conclude that their lack of response to your mindless drivel indicates the level of importance they apply to it. You pretty much do not exist to them. You have no credibility, no sources, no track record of success.
Whatcha need to do, old bean, is get a couple right. No, not repeat what other people say who turn out to be right. You need to figure out how to report the real world accurately, and do it more than once to eliminate the possibility of the old stopped clock syndrome. Then, and only then, might you expect to have some impact on the national dialog beyond being something to be laughed at, then scraped off the shoe of discourse with a vague look of disgust…
mikey
ace just addressed his oopsie. Apparently he was actually quite moderate in tone and didn’t jump to any kind of conclusions.
Gotta admit one thing of ace, he’s got the bald-faced lie down well. Not sure who he thinks he’s fooling, tho.
Stoopit Juan Cole, being right all the time. Who the hell does he think he is? Asshole.
Ace has responded.
Did everyone already see Glen Greenwald on this? If not, you’re in for a ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good time:
http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2007/05/28/blog_geniuses/index.html
You have no credibility, no sources, no track record of success.
Are you referring to Dave Broder and Fred Hiatt, mikey, or to the shrub administration?
“J— said,
May 29, 2007 at 1:35
Ace has responded”
and the response is ‘never surrender, never give up.’
what a sack of dog poop.
BTW, another beautiful wingnut hypothesis slain by an ugly little fact.
Guess he’ll have to return to his Vagidoh Monologue.
Reality has a well-known liberal bias.
Number of times right
| x
| x
| x
| x
| x
| x
| x
| x
|_x________________________
. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Ok, Preview + <pre> = Not so much working
Guess he’ll have to return to his Vagidoh Monologue.
oh my god.
VAGIDOH, IT IS NOT FOR DINNER, NOR IS IT A TOY. DO NOT MOLD OR SHAPE VAGIDOH.
VAGIDOH, IT IS NOT FOR DINNER, NOR IS IT A TOY. DO NOT MOLD OR SHAPE VAGIDOH.
Do not ingest. If accidently ingested, do NOT induce vomiting. Keep patient warm, and give tea with newspaper ashes and live sperm. Call Poison Control.
Do not allow contact with eyes. If contact occurs, flush with warm water and pork gravy. Seek immediate medical assistance.
In case of intentional oral administration, immediately demand to know “What the hell were you thinking??!!??” and call Poison Control.
If you receive Vagidoh as a gift or in the mail, immediately contact Homeland Security. If you receive a busy signal, do NOT stay on the line, but contact Ace of Spades immediately. No, he won’t know what to do, but it will give you a laugh or two while you are waiting…
mikey
Vagidoh may accelerate suddenly to dangerous speeds.
Do not taunt Vagidoh.
Vagidoh may cause bloating, dizziness, and loss of contintence, especially South America. Consult your doctor before using Vagidoh; she or he is probably lonesome.
Why does Ace make such a big snorting deal of this? I mean, he talks about the memo as “circulating on lefty blogs”, but as far as I can tell, most lefty blogs would look at something like that and say “Ho hum, another tedious piece of non-news” and leave it at that. I can’t imagine anyone worth their salt (or other condiment of their choice) actually caring about it in the slightest.
And apropos of Kevin Bacon Holding Playdoh: does that mean that all women therefore have a Bacon Number of zero? Makes the Bacon Numbers game rather dull, then, doesn’t it? No-one except Ace would have a Bacon Number greater than one.
Mikey: thanks to you I’ve discovered the joy of having my nasal cavity filled with milk. Thanks ever so, particularly for the live sperm and pork gravy.
I’m not quite dead, yet!
Could I have a couple slices of bacon, please?
i especially like that the numnuts are still trying to figure out
the meaning of the eagle and flag image used, as if it were used in some sort of trick to dupe numnuts into “ill-considered” ranting and posturing.
i hereby nominate the ‘milkmaid’ Hummel as the official figurine to taunt ace. after all, a real milkmaid would know where the pastrami is.
Qetesh, it was the vanishingly rare Pinko Punko sighting that led us down that particularly foul path. By way of which I’d like to say, dood, 3 bulls SCARES me, come around here more often, ok?
mikey
Make sure to read the linked article , the reply given to the wingnut blogger by the embassy is hilariuos, I’m pretty sure they thought he was a 10 year old. Its all “The Ambassador lives in a very big house called an ‘Embassy’. He meets lots of important people every day”.
Thanks for asking!
“Still no response from Ace. His refusal to comment is suggestive to us that he’s hiding under the computer desk today with circles under his eyes, binging on Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk.”
…Now, I know we’re both reasonable men, Gavin. So I’m going to just assume that was not a subtle dig on the B&JNYSFC. Because, you know, if it was, i would immediately have to do some crazy drastic over-reactions. And we don’t want that, do we?
I’m just saying. No one wants to be finding dead ducks stuffed in their gas tank.
In related news; to be fair, when I first saw the .pdf memo file, my first thought was, “oh, no WAY is that real.” I mean, really, a picture of a Hummel figure is their logo?
How bad can this AdminCo. be that they can’t even hire a art-schools tudent to design a logo for them?
I’m officially starting the countdown to Right Blogistan’s “The memo was intentionally made to look fake in a lefty effort to sucker us into jumping on it so we would look bad” meme. On my mark… MARK.
The stopwatch is running. Four thousand quatloos to the one who posts it first.
Ha! Glenn h/t’d me in his update — TAKE THAT PLEBIANS!
He’s my new imaginary boyfriend.
Full disclosure. I’ve been in therapy for a long time. And I’ve been lucky, in that I’ve been able to afford private therapy that is not available to a lot of folks who got sent to bad places to do bad things for bad reasons. And I’m really quite a bit better now, able to understand what is happening in front of me and deal with it in a normal, peaceful manner.
But I must confess. When some civilian piece of garbage, some ratfuck dickweed from the worst part of the cesspool wants to call Juan Cole “dickhead” and “fucking idiot”, well, let’s leave it up to you to imagine what I’d like to do. Who, exactly, does this little coward cockbreath think he is? And by what, exactly, has he earned the fucking goddam RIGHT to take a position like this?
Ace. Lets see your CIB. Let’s see your bling. Purple heart? Pussy coward hack dogshit idiot. You wouldn’t last five minutes in combat, ’cause you have to be willing to admit you don’t have all the fucking answers. The Sergeants have all the answers. And you? You are dogshit, dogshit on the boots of people who did their duty. And this weekend of all weekends? Shut. The. Fuck. Up…
mikey
And once again, you are letting the wingnuts control the terms of the debate. Even ACE knows that the image on the memo is not a Hummel figurine. It’s a LENOX.
There must be a medical term for this.
Micropenis.
“There must be a medical term for this.”
Douchebag?
Vagindoh — the best Bacon Number on the market. Clinically proven to anaesthetise all pork-related products faster than ether or ketamine. Use only as directed. Excessive or prolonged use may lead to hiding under the computer desk with circles under the eyes.
There must be a medical term for this.
Toxic megacolon. Trust me on this. I’m a doctor.
Mikey:
Ace might need some further clarification on this: In this context, “right” means “not wrong,” rather than “not left.”
I’ve spent some time in the service myself, and it doesn’t surprise me at all to see patriotic pictures like that repurposed in such a way.
Jesus, what a dumb bastard.
I’ve always said that a fanatic will see only what he or she wants to see.
The sad part is that these Right-bloggers and their readers really can’t see how ridiculous they are.
They’ll just never learn, no matter how often they humiliate themselves.
Hey Righteous, like the Motorhead Ref.
I thought the weekend would be dull as shit, but Ace and Frenz NEVER fail to provide the larfs. You have to admit, constellation Wingus-Nuttius is pretty amusing. Ace, Althouse, Malks, TicTac, &c &c.
Aside from the fact that their friends run US foreign policy, own the media, own the major corporations and are rewriting history and…….
Depressed again. Pls make me laugh Acey!
Sorry kids, I’ve been encased in Vagidoh. I should be perfectly alright, if I’ve survived the freezing process, that is.
ace-supporter Vercingetorix (?) sez,
“BTW, the government only owes the troops one square meal a day, one shower a week, and 4 hours of sleep a night. Ain’t summer camp and the military life sucks like Hollywood tranny with alot of miles, but it’s just the way it is. Life at the front slices like a hammer, if you get what kind of integrity trip I’m on.”
Support dem troops, oh yeah.
Why does plain stupidity piss me off more than malicious intent?
“BTW, the government only owes the troops one square meal a day, one shower a week, and 4 hours of sleep a night. Ain’t summer camp and the military life sucks like Hollywood tranny with alot of miles, but it’s just the way it is. Life at the front slices like a hammer, if you get what kind of integrity trip I’m on.�
The dangers of mind altering drug addiction starkly visualized.
Just noticed the update, with A-o’-S dissing the Intelligence agencies:
What kind of idiots do we have in our “intelligence� community, exactly? When they give you an intelligence test, do they require you actually fail to get the job?
There is a hint of sour grapes here. So if A-o’-S applied for a job at one of the Three-Letter Agencies but failed the tests of intelligence / personality / integrity, then kudos to him for trying.
Otherwise, he is claiming to know more than some retired intelligence officer, and his nation is in desperate need of his superior intellect, but A-o’-S is keeping it to himself. In which case — what Mikey said. But with more queyntes.
Vercingetorix.
I’ve just been round a few blogs and noticed that a statistically significant number of right wing shithead commenters have Roman, Greek or other ye olde handles like the abovementioned Vercingetorix- a Gaul or Arverni chieftan according to Wiki.
Fuck all’em’all toga-ed brush helmeted winged bootied trephined typing drooling sukkerz.
Tacitus. Patroclus. Hernius Medullus. Quimmus Obsessus. Verytinydix.
But absolute props to Incontinetia Buttocks. Hi Connie!
BTW, the government only owes the troops
Huh? Damn. These people really have forgotton what America is about. Shit. Hey, fellas? “Of the people, by the people, for the people”? You DO recognize that, right? I mean, it at least sounds a little FUCKIN familiar, doesn’t it?
Just who the frick frackin goddam hell owes WHO? What is this entity government that has some limited debt to the motherfucking goddam citizens who actually go and fucking bleed in order that the entity government could survive?? Who. Who owes the troops? Who owes me? Who do I go see, huh? Dork…
mikey
Chronic fuckhead.
Maybe they think hiding under pagan names will keep the incredibly unChristian things they say out of the sight of their sweet, sweet Jebus.
The correct medical term for all wingnut bloviations is borborygmi — the audible rumblings of a gaseous intestinal tract. The inevitable result is farting and/or diarrhea, Sound about right?
Mikey: Hey, maybe if the troops weren’t so goddamn stupid as to have been enlisted, this wouldn’t be a problem. They’s OUR bitches now, ye’hear!? Squeel like a piggy!
For one thing, among the possibilities I mentioned was that there was in fact a real memo, but the “memo� being circulated was not the actual memo itself, but a Microsoft Word created facsimile.
Wow, this sounds really familiar for some reason. I wonder why?
Oh, right:
Referring to the disputed memos, Knox commented “The information in here was correct, but it was picked up from the real ones,” she said. “I probably typed the information and somebody picked up the information some way or another.”
I like how Ace mumbles darkly about “disinformation operation”, as though some evil commy-nist made it all up to make Ace look like a total wankstain.
I’ve just been round a few blogs and noticed that a statistically significant number of right wing shithead commenters have Roman, Greek or other ye olde handles
That will be related to the admiration for the pagan virtues of Rome, common among Kristol and Buckley and Krauthammer. Back in the 1990s, they used to worry about how the success of the free market was allowing the West to decline into a relaxed La-Z-Boy of the soul. There was nostalgia for stoicism, Empire before self, that sort of thing. Their whole toga-flapping intellectual circle took on an uncanny resemblance to “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”.
I made it all up.
Just to make Ace look like a total wankstain (as opposed to Ace’s normal look).
So Evil Commy-Nist, you made him look better? Shouldn’t Ace be thanking you for allowing us to make fun of him without respect to vaginas?
So Evil Commy-Nist, you made him look better? Shouldn’t Ace be thanking you for allowing us to make fun of him without respect to vaginas?
Is there a correct answer to this question?
There must be a medical term for this.
Yeah, there is. Sicko.
someone should flood his inbox with pdfs or word files…or whichever of the two sends him right around the bend with paranoia.
Herr Doktor, adding to your Funny Thing Happened Toga Swarm- They all onanise over themselves as the Emperor, or Grande Muffe Venti or Galadriel or whichever benevolent despot fits their self image. They just want to Be In Charge for the Good of Us All and Tell Those Hippies What’s Up.
And then some of them are like our gladiator friend Ace of Base. Unshaven. Grim. Fighting for all that’s left-Truth. Like Russel Crowe. In a Leather skirt.
He is, as my insane Serb friend Mish would say, an Absolute Fucking Champion. Be great to see him in the arena getting trampled by an underfed christian.
Aces:”For what it’s worth, I still think the actual PDF is fake, as in ‘not the original, but reconstructed to look like the original.'”
Makes me think of copies of memos sent to Dan Rather that seemed to contain facts but proved to have the wrong font. But why did Rove want to discredit the food shortage memo?
Be great to see him in the arena
Pure refined heroism. A lion in a den of Daniels.
Do the right wing loons, specifically the Gathering of the Asshats, know about the Iraq Veterans Against the War?
I’ve just been round a few blogs and noticed that a statistically significant number of right wing shithead commenters have Roman, Greek or other ye olde handles
Um, well to be fair, on the Left, there was Hesiod from the departed Counterspin… and “Atrios” (though that came from a mishearing), and, uh, me, though I’ve dropped the -ites for reasons that are frankly obscure even to myself.
I’m just trying to be as cool as Josh Trevino, probably. He’s dreamy.
Gavin seyz:
“There must be a medical term for this.”
Oliver Hardy-ism?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurel_and_Hardy
“Well, here’s another nice mess the liberal MSM has gotten me into!”
Or at least post a not-too-high, not-too-low score somewhere between “average intelligence� and “borderline imbecile who sits in the corner all day clapping and masturbating�?
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
There must be a medical term for this.
Ohhhh, sodding buggery, all the good gags are gone!
Woo, you really like Ace’s site too, Gavin? Yeah, that pdf formatted email hooked me too as being fake. Not a BIG fake, but like a small gay fake or something. The Human Resource guy added a hummel of an eagle on a flag when he decided to leak the email to the wapo, to make it look more official? Who’da thunk that was real!?
But yeah, the leaker is a real dude, and he actually did pshop a letterhead onto it like you or I would if we were faking something. But he wasn’t faking anything. Weird.
But the part you conveniently left out, Gavin, is that Ace ADMITTED that it’s possible that the hummel guy’s legit! Couldn’t you just tell your minions the truth, and ask them to act irrational later? I bet they would. In fact (though gavin wouldn’t tell you this, he offered 4 scenarios).
I would have guessed that his first hypothesis was impossible. How could a legitimate U.S. entity have a hummel for their letterhead? It’s still doubtful they do, but here’s my hypothesis:
first, an accurate email is received.
Second, the guy in Human Resources who wants to leak negative info to WaPo sees it, and calls is bud at the paper. He’s informed that the WaPo won’t accept .doc files, and wants it in .pdf or .txt.
Third, the guy crafts a goofy letterhead onto a legit email, a letterhead that even Gavin could accomplish, for the sole goal of making it look more realistic. Even though it’s actually real.
Something weird is going on here. But most importantly, why is US Military Human Resource guy “Parvaz Khan” leaking information to the WaPo?
Probably not important to you guys on the left though, huh? I doubt he’s a Republican. Leak away!
Hmmm, Super Detective Kevin has a hypothesis.
Valid?
I don’t think so.
Me, I’m goin’ with:
a) Jerry Falwell
b) in the outhouse
c) with his mother.
“There are several possibilities here:
1) The PDF is completely genuine. This strikes me as so unlikely as to be hardly worth mentioning, but I’ll toss ito out there as a possibility.”
This is known, in the right circles, as “CYA”. It’s an acronym. Think about it.
“3) The PDF is fake, but the WaPo story is based on a real memo. The left is now circulating a crude forgery created by one of their goofier members in an effort to show they’ve got “sources.â€?”
I don’t know about the rest of you all, but first heard see of this memo was when “The Left” made fun of him and LGF for being so comically wrong about it. And yet, it was “the left” who was circulating it.
This is known, in the right circles, as “rampant paranoia and delusional behavior.”
“But most importantly, why is US Military Human Resource guy “Parvaz Khanâ€? leaking information to the WaPo?”
…because not all Americans are named Bob Smith?
The funniest thing to me about this whole thing is that it’s a 100% non-story. Food got held-up in red-tape at the boarder for a few days. Oh well. That happens. What I hear now is that the problem has been solved. Post runs it, certain blogs* freak out and claim to have seen the WaPo’s speakin’ with the Devil, and are proven, again, to be alarmist reactionary knee-jerks.
*They know who they are.
Couldn’t you just tell your minions the truth
The question came up a month or two ago whether the S,N! readers are minions, myrmidons or cohorts. Or possibly ilk. I can’t recall whether any consensus eventually emerged.
…which is also that of a total wankstain. Man, he’s just crashing and burning. He was so sure he was right about this one, hence the testosterone surge and the abusive language directed at Cole, then the thing turns on him and becomes just another in string of public humiliations. You can almost hear his penis sucking up into his body cavity in the wake of this thing.
How exactly would crafting a goofy letterhead make something look more realistic? Do you even read what you write?
Here’s a better explanation: this was a memo that was to get posted around in dining facilities and so forth in Iraq. In Iraq, things are blowing up all the time. The last thing on the mind of the person who created the memo is whether it had the correct corporate image and logo. Though it’s about a more serious topic, such a notice has the same level of formality as the notice in an office kitchenette telling people to wash up their own cups (and why do they get the impression that wingnuts are the kind of people that don’t treat those memos as authentic, either?). Who cares if there is a beatifully designed letterhead if its only purpose is to tell Embassy staff that they aren’t getting fruit salad for a while?
Oh yes, don’t notice the wingers have been proved utterly wrong yet again. Look at the bright shiny object!
Maybe because it’s, um, news?
I can’t recall whether any consensus eventually emerged.
Barnacular accretions?
Oo! Ooo! Sadlynauts!
Henchmen, canaille, rabble
Guys, I just found an ad for Vagi-doh. I need to see if it is fake before I post it though. It looks real.
Hey, Kev, you’re right, Ace did cover his ass, then proceeded to uncover it by calling people names and acting as if the memo were completely fake, so that kind of means no touchbacks on the fakey/not fakey.
Also, why haven’t you entered the 3 Bulls p-shop contest? I don’t think you got skillz, chumpwad!
Grr. Computer troubles are forcing me to chop my answers short, and answer only one at a time (I blame society).
Firstly, Gavin, you are a hippie. And I made you a video which may explain why I hate hippies. He says artist, but he means hippie.
I for one will thank Mr. Ace to keep his ass covered at all times.
b)
Is ‘I don’t think so’ something that passes as reasoning on the left?
Here’s a cool retort!
Is the sun going to turn into a red giant in 5 billion years or so?
RubDMC says, “I don’t think so!”
Useful retort on the street, rub, but not of much value in reality.
I’ve always wanted to be a henchman. I do good hench.
Stupid hippie pie.
Usually when I want to allow for the realistic possibility that something is not fake I say the following:
“ZOMG this is soooooo fake you ignorant dickheads!!!1111 OBVIOUS SHAM LOLOLOLOL!!!”
I am what they call an effective communicator.
A guy said:
“The funniest thing to me about this whole thing is that it’s a 100% non-story. Food got held-up in red-tape at the boarder for a few days. Oh well. That happens. What I hear now is that the problem has been solved. Post runs it, certain blogs* freak out and claim to have seen the WaPo’s speakin’ with the Devil, and are proven, again, to be alarmist reactionary knee-jerks.”
Yeah, it sucks that the good guys were suckered in for once. And by a guy who ‘legitimately’ put an image of a hummel on his letterhead. He totally got us.
Funny to me too, but in a bad way. Many of us seem unable to trust our media. In this case, it was pretty reasonable, since it’s rare that the US govt uses hommels as their letterhead. But other than that, I’ve questioned so, so many things the WaPo, NYT, it’s LAT surrogate, and the Boston Globe have said. Why is that? Why, random guy, do we actually question these people, most of who we don’t know at all… Why do we doubt so many of them? I’ll leave it for you, morita and the mortician to decide, but I hope you are concerned that so MANY of us question them, especially in the middle east.
Do you trust them to ‘agree with you’, or to ‘tell you the truth’? Think about the last time your favorite newscaster has ‘switched sides’ or gone off message before you answer. Cindy Sheehan, for example. Mine’s Novak.
Screw it. I’m wasting my time, and have to go to work in 5 hrs, and you guys are stuck in our world. Night!
A little something for hippie-obsessed Kevin to wallow in:
one
two
three
four
Ha! Glenn h/t’d me in his update — TAKE THAT PLEBIANS! — Teh l4m3
Maybe he can link to Jism Nation next.
kevin,
you are doing an excellent job trolling tonight, I have to say.
The reason we can’t be Gavin’s minions is that then we’d all be legally obliged to change our names to Igor.
It’s the same if we were Cataphracts. We’d have to adopt names like Glaucus or Platyhelminth or Majuscule. Says so somewhere in the job description.
Catamites? Catamounts? I mean, since you’ve already covered Cataphracts and all.
I always think of the Sadly, No! commenter bunch as a ferkin of merkins. Which means Ace can’t join.
There must be a medical term for this.
Dipshitius Snowballerium is what I would call it if I were handing out Medical Terms.
This didn’t get a laugh over at Salon; but nothing there ever does, really. Let’s try here:
Dear Gleen Grenwald,
Please forgeev my Ace, he is good boy, always geev me kiss on cheek when I tuck him in hees bed fore good night. It all my fault for I let heem play weeth computer in basement but no supervise much. He feenesh six grade promote to meedle school this yeer. Please not be too hard my Ace. I promiss watch heem more close now on, take away computer.
Sinceerely,
Ace Mom
What is this Kevin thing, and why does it keep burbling on and on about chicken pot pie?
I’m kinda new here. This is one of those inside “S,N!” jokes, right?
Inside jokes, eh? They’re inside! They are jokey! They are in-jokes!
But as far as I can tell, Kevin is one of the obssesive compulsive types, who is having a monologue inside his own mind, which he not only feels absolutely compelled to constantly respond too, but thinks it’s actually part of the external world too. In his mind, he’s actually being witty, intelligent, incisive and everyone around him is paying attention… And occasionally they do, in a sort “Oh my god, look… that guy is pissing in his own pants to try and get attention! Better watch where that puddle goes so we don’t step in it!” way… but being unbalanced, and currently in an one of his “I am the messiah!” upswings, he thinks this means you are noticing his genius.
There’s quite a few of these people online, infesting most major blogs and forums. After all, if you consider the widespread availability of the internet, the appallingly shoddy care coverage or even diagnosis of illness in society, and the self reinforcing qualities of time alone spent staring at only your own words reflected back at you, you are almost guaranteed to see someone with genuine problems eventually. He almost certainly doesn’t really care about hippies, it’s just this is what he’s fixated upon because it makes him feel really really smart for knowing this (And they don’t, a-hah-hah-hah) and because it’s a piss-trigger that makes people look at him (But really, they are really offended, so I have power over them! A-hah-hah-hah again!)
He’s probably been doing the same on other blogs too, and under multiple identities, because attention on one character is just never enough attention or control. Poor, poor “Kevin”. We should send him some Play Doh to make interesting shapes out of… perhaps little Play Doh figurines that he can order about or make false .pdf documents which contain actual facts inside… and then discredit those facts because, look! At the top! A badly modled Play Doh figurine!
Just don’t get any of your Play Doh inside my bacon, Kevin. I don’t like that shit.
Useful retort on the street, rub, but not of much value in reality.
Nor on the web, apparently, where a troll can cut out the main point to address only a prefacing phrase.
Maybe he can link to Jism Nation next.
I stand by my pornogrifying — NONE OF IT IS FORGED!
Yeah, it sucks that the good guys were suckered in for once.
Bwahahahahaha! This is the bestest comment EVAH!
“good guys”! “for once”!
Sheer brilliance! 24K comedy GOLD!
I saw the Hummel, and it opened up my eyes.
And I am happy now.
The question came up a month or two ago whether the S,N! readers are minions, myrmidons or cohorts. Or possibly ilk. I can’t recall whether any consensus eventually emerged.
I have been minioning for years. I refuse to myrmidon, or cohort, because I am not a fighter.
Smacking wingnuts upside the head with Teh Green Walking Stick of Liberal Justice does not count as fighting. It is merely a necessary corrective to faulty education and/or parenting.
Also, HM Queen Elizabeth II has asked me to say that she is sodding tired of having to declare Sadly, No! threads Kevinned, and could he please STFU. Thenkew. *rote, exhausted royal wave* sotto voce: Dimwitted hippie-hating, pie-loving wanker.
Ace’s worst nightmare? (Tepidly NSFW)
So, how much did we end up paying Halliburton for the food delays?
“So, how much did we end up paying Halliburton for the food delays?”
On time delivery is included in the base price. Delays cost extra.
“There must be a medical term for this.”
Gross Moronitude?
Idiosis sychophantis?
Wingnut blogger?
Suckered “for once.” LOL.
RubDMC said,
“So, how much did we end up paying Halliburton for the food delays?�
On time delivery is included in the base price. Delays cost extra.
_______________________________________________________
So, how much would we have to pay Halliburton to not deliver at all?
You couldn’t afford it.
— courtesy Groucho and Chico Marx
spartikus,
What’s really cute about that, um…figurine, is that it quickly drew a crowd of 14-year-old boys.
There must be a medical term for this.
Explosive putrid logorrhea?
OK, excellent!
That means Glenn’s presumably hawt Brazilian boyfriend is (imaginarily) up for grabs.
.
…grab!
(now, where did I put that “Portuguese For Dum-Dums” book?)
As far as to what to refer to the gathered commentators as, I’ve got to second “Sadlynaughts.” What can I say–puns amuse me nearly as much as they cause me pain. But, we’re not a monolithic group. I see no reason that we can’t also be “minions,” “ilk,” or any number of other things. Variety, spice o’life, etc., etc.
OK, I’ll try it out…
Juan Cole is a respected, tenured professor Modern Middle East and South Asian History at the University of Michigan, is fluent in at least seven languages, has lived and worked extensively in the Middle East and has published extensively on the topics of culture, religion and politics.
Ace of Spades is a __________________________________ .
…crazed, dimwitted right-wing extremist with more issues than a Barnes & Noble magazine rack.
Also: “Gleen Grenwald”?
Hummel figurine? Cretins. It’s Lenox*. Sheesh.
—————-
*or are there two ‘n’s? I.e., Lennox? Naw, doesn’t look right, I think Lenox is right. Whatev’, it ain’t Hummel, for tacky’s sake!