Shorter Tawfik Hamid
Posted on May 25th, 2007 by Travis G.
Above: Born a poor Muslim child in Egypt
- So-called Islamophobia will end only when Muslims begin to indulge in it themselves.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
By sheer coincidence, I was reading this last night:
Richard Hofstadter, “The Paranoid Style in American Politics,” in his The Paranoid Style in American Politics and Other Essays, pp. 34-35.
Every night all the AEI fellows would come around/
And lay their money down…
Christians have every reason to fear Muslims, and to act to protect themselves from Muslims by bombing and burning Muslim gynecology clinics and Muslim gay discos in such Muslim hotbeds as Atlanta. Shooting Muslim obstetricians is also necessary. Otherwise, Christians might just as well give up the (Holy) ghost.
Ah yes, it’s the moderate muslims’ fault for not hating teh extemists even harder. If they didn’t all look the same, we wouldn’t have to kill them all! Maybe we could differentiate them by giving the ‘good’ ones special tattoos!
How, exactly, does that work, Mr. Hamid?
“The latest survey of American Muslims won’t reassure their fellow citizens.”
WTF?? Who do you believe?
“Pew: Muslim Americans Are Diverse, Share American Values”
http://www.marketingvox.com/archives/2007/05/23/pew-muslim-americans-are-diverse-share-american-values/
Glenn Greenwald has something to say about those surveys. Here, here, and here.
Hey Gavin? Did you happen to see (fifty FOUR year old) Nancy Wilson tearing it up side by side with Jerry Cantrell on MTV last night? It was pretty cool…
mikey
What on Earth are you talking about Gavin? (And why are you calling yourself Travis G, for that matter?) As you must know by now, my normal schtick is to make fun of you guys for the jobless hippies that you are, but what the hell, man? This is a little too serious of an issue to joke with you guys about. I can’t believe you are passing this guy off as a kook without even a discussion.
He very clearly laid out what needs to be done.
How can you be against that? He goes on with more great info, but I don’t want to overquote him. Read the whole thing. That single sentence is so key, that it’s painful that you could brush it off as no big deal. Have you noticed how few muslims are saying that? The whole column is loaded with tidbits of brilliance, and you sum it up as ‘So-called Islamophobia will end only when Muslims begin to indulge in it themselves’? When you said ‘so-called’, did you mean to imply that it wasn’t a real thing? Because you did (ex. Pat Robertson says “so-called ‘homophobia’ is really just made up by guys who like to put weenies in weird places.” Yes, you did exactly the same thing). Do you not even believe that there is damned good reason to be concerned with islamic supremacists and islamofascists?
Honestly, I like to make fun of you guys because your opinions are utterly alien to my way of thinking. But in general, I respect you guys, even though I don’t say it much. But when you attack one of the VERY few bright voices of Islam, it truly scares me. Do you hate Bush or Rove or the Republicans THAT much that you actually support fundementalist Muslims over the extremely rare moderates like Tawfik Amid?
You do know the other ones want to put your women in burkhas, right? And beat them if the mood is right? Seriously, I may not even troll here after reading such crap. For the first time, I kind of feel like you guys are the idiots in “Brave New World” taking Soma. I disagree, but can at least understand your utter hatred for Republicans. But Mr. Hamid is one of the good guys. From every angle. And you guys dismiss him because he blames the bad guys?
What the hell?
Shorter Kevin: Blah blah blah, hippies. Blah blah blah.
Shorter Patkin:
So I googled the guy and this
popped up. Let me quote:
Um.
Er.
I got nothing. Somebody else please try.
Again, I consider this one of your more important posts, so I don’t want to belittle it by making fun of people like Patkin (It was kneejerk! I blame society) but is it common on liberal blogs, specifically this one, to make a ‘summary’ of what other people have said? I get the humor, provided you were the first one to ever do it, but I’ve seen that joke at leat 5 times on this site. Is it still funny to you guys?
And I’m not trying to bash your humor… as you probably know by now, I’ve got some weird *ss humor myself (that you no doubt don’t find funny). But is it funny to you, when someone says something, for you to say “shorter so-and-so’ blah blah blah”? Unless this is some inside liberal joke, it’s saying very bad things for believers in your side of the issues. It’s almost the same as listening to someone, disagreeing with them, but being incapaple of refuting them, so saying ‘blah blah blah’. Make that sentence sans ‘almost’.
I shall repeat: I consider this important. I believe this is a good man. Do you not agree? If you are unwilling to speak directly to me because I noted that most of you are hippies living with your moms, I apologize with the excuse that I thought it was common knowledge. But can’t anyone ignore my past discretions to say that what he said was spot on? It doesn’t seem to be, and shouldn’t be political.
Hand to God, I tried to leave the word ‘hippie’ out of it. Again, I blame society.
bul bul, be honest. Is that ALL you came up with? Or is that the weakest, most meaningless quote from a site you don’t approve of. You make me so sad. Why, why, why is that an important quote? Oh dear, a muslim who wears a suit?! We can’t have that! Please, please PLEASE don’t look for a reason to hate him. You made me repeat words three times twice! Until you guys can admit that is in fact NOT our fault that islamic regimes crumble or produce jihadis, we cannot fix the problem, because you can always blame America, or maybe Israel.
I should take this opportunity to say that I am not in fact, a Jew, but I sure as hell feel like one here, the way you guys oppress! Can you not see it bun bun? Islamic attacks on the rest of the world will only stop when islamics decide it’s time to stop! He’s completely right in saying that muslims should preach ‘cutting that crap out’.
READ IT!
Kevin,
I own my own place, my mother lives over 300 miles from me, I smoked dope twice and didn’t enjoy it either time so I stick with cigars, I am currently drowning in work and I take showers and shave regularly. So yes, I am your stereotypical hippie.
Now back to the matter at hand. I am not going to defend Travis G., because God knows he doesn’t need it, I am only going to debate my position with you.
But is it funny to you, when someone says something, for you to say “shorter so-and-so’ blah blah blah�?
Depends. Sometimes it is funny, sometimes it isn’t. But it’s almost always insightful.
Do you not even believe that there is damned good reason to be concerned with islamic supremacists and islamofascists?
Trick question. I believe there is a damned good reason to be concerned with thiefs, dental caries and bad credit, too. But none of those very real threats justifies the abolishment of civil liberties or a trillion-dollar budget deficit.
I believe this is a good man. Do you not agree?
He might be, God only knows. What we know is that he
a) Supports ethnic profiling (which is, needless to say, not only wrong on every level, but also ineffective)
b) He uses meaningless statistics to spread misinformation and outright lies (see the comments by Glenn Greenwald linked to above)
c) He ignores evidence that does not suit his point of view, such as
My answer to that question: all over Arab newspapers.
d) He engages in the usual fear-mongering by insinuating e.g. that the decline of Christian population in Lebanon by 60% is somehow the fault of “islamic terror”, when, in fact, no such decline has been reported by any reliable source.
e) In some respects, he is certainly right – Salafi Islam certainly is dangerous. But if you want to combat Salafism, you must fight the source, and that is Saudi Arabia. This brings us back to the inherent hypocrisy of the “conservative” islamophobia currently raging in the US.
f) Last, but definitely not least, the ideas proposed in his articles are utterly ridiculous. Just like neither racism nor antisemitism have disappeared with civil rights and establishment of Israel respectively, nor will islamophobia (and by the way, it’s Hakim who believes no such thing exists) disappear if the Muslims play ball. His ideas on what Muslims “should” or “must” do are laughably unrealistic.
To summarize: Tawfik Hamid may mean well, but he sounds just like another LGF pawn. He offers no solutions, just reiterates the GOP talking points. So, what else can we do but make fun of him?
O
M
G
You do! You do think it’s funny to say ‘shorter so and so’ and then say something ridiculous! I didn’t notice the title of this post because I don’t normally read Gavin, but it’s true! This is without question the funniest thing I’ve seen all day! This is comedy gold!
To all of you who actually read Mr. Hamid’s article, you should be proud that now you have an informed opinion. My guess is that you find no humor in the ‘shorter xxx: blah blah blah” routine either.
To the rest of you, you should try to get paid by real comedians! They could tell a joke, and you could say, ‘translation: blah blah blah!” Sure, you’d be the butt of the joke, but the money’s there, and you’re probably used to being the butt of the joke anyway!.
There’s obviously no sense trying to be sincere here. Gavin’s team is clearly convinced that the evilest of people on the planet (i.e. Palestinians, Iraqi insurgents, Al- Qaeda, etc.) are the good guys, taqiyya is a myth, and that the bad guys only want to force OTHER women into submission and into the burkha, not REGULAR women. Guess we’ll have to wait and see!
Thusly I leave you for yet another few weeks. We are doing a turnaround for two weeks, and provided it goes well, I’m off for yet ANOTHER 3 days to be with you my huggy feely friends. There’s some strange crud building up in the ethylene oxide stripper’s distributor, so I bet I won’t see you for 2 months, but who knows.
Aside: I suspect global warmenizing. Everyone scientific disagrees, but we’re kind of used to that, right? Scientists ALWAYS disagree with such a silly theory, unless they are getting paid part of the $6+BILLION a year that fake scientists get for claiming such nonsense. Anyways, I’ll keep you posted! So far, global warmening has caused 0 problems at the job, but as Al Gore says, in Ephesians:4:3 Look not to what globally Warmyness has done to you, for it shalt not kill you until 2015. So he’s got some cover for a few years. And as history tells us, we’ll forget all about this by then, forget to mention what a stupid idea he had back then, and be worried about some other ridiculous crap. Kind of win-win all around, huh? I mean, as long as we don’t act on the ridiculous proposition that CO2 is hurting us.
Hey, I did say that Palestinians were possibly the evilest people on the planet. I’d consider it an honor if one of the craziest hippie liberals on the sight would quote me on that.
And lastly, please, if you can spare the time, volunteer at a homeless shelter. It’s ridiculously easy. They could get the homeless people to do it! I know, I say this ridiculous garbage every time I come to your site, but it’s so freakin’ easy to do, and I swear you will feel better about opening a few giant cans of green beans and some huge containers of fruit salad than you’ve felt in a long time! Plus, you get to meet them. I won’t say more, ’cause I’ve said it before. Just do it to make me look dumb!
The funny part is that you’ll thank me when you’re done. Cool people, in need of help. And you’re the one feeding them. And they’re mostly not grateful. Trust me, you won’t care.
Crap, I did this wrong. I forgot you guys hate me! DON’T VOLUNTEER TO FEED THE HOMELESS! I COMMAND YOU. POOR PEOPLE SUCK. Do I have to say I dig on Karl Rove? I don’t know the rules in progressive town (progress to the ’60s!) *zing*
Dang, I write a book every time I comment on this hippie site!
BUL BUL, I’ve never met you (on the internet), so I should probably mention that I’m an evil conservative/libertarian. I do try to respect my debating oponent ( and anyone at sadly no is INDEED an opponent). But I often claim that liberals are both jobless and living with their parents. This is in fact a result of my environment. I know 14 liberals closely (some of them paired) in La and NJ out of 16 who both are unemployed and live with either their parents or just their Mom’s (the other two are freakishly rich from something called the ‘third market’, and I don’t like them anymore based solely on that’). Those 14 are hippies. I call them hippies. They know they are friggin’ hippies. They’ll get checks from their parent’s accounts to be well off non-working hippies for the rest of their lives.
But when they spout their shiny happy people crap, why should we believe ’em? They don’t know! So when you, BUR BUR, say that you work for a living, and yet this is the kind of site you visit, I’m forced to ask, ‘why should I believe you’? Most of us know that liberals are either the very very poor or the uber rich.
So, Ok, I’ll debate you, but as long as we can agree that your social status is still up in the air. And actually, Travis G. needs ALOT of help, since he just suggested that one of like 10 moderate muslims in America’s points were weak. Help him out if you can!
Ack. This should NEVER be considered ‘insightful’. Even if you are shortsighted. It’s just a long way of saying ‘I disagree’. Again, I don’t want to disparage you, but it’s similar to saying ‘that’s gay’, (or if I can’t say that here, ‘that’s homosexual, but in a bad way’). Our sides don’t have to remain together on the issues, but if we can’t even agree on comedy, we may have bigger problems.
Ok, I am not concerned with thieves, dental somethings, or bad credit. I am also against the abolishment of civil liberties and a trillion dollar budget deficit. That’s a lot of money! Have we ever had one? (Check your facts). So I answered your ‘trick’ question. Will you answer mine? BTW, I have sufferred no loss of civil liberties in the past 20 years. Have you? If so, tell me about it, and let’s fight it!
“a) Supports ethnic profiling (which is, needless to say, not only wrong on every level, but also ineffective)”
Conversation over I guess 🙁 Saying that stastistical profiling is ineffective is ridiculous, but very pc! You weren’t aware that 95% of terrorist attacks were carried out by muslim males last year? Sure, profiling muslim males would be ineffective. Just don’t leave the country, huh? We’d like to keep you alive.
And now you want to use comments by Glenn Greenwald, Ellers, Ellison or whatever he’s calling himself! I hate to discount his statement without reading it (but I will, he’s a friggin’ idiot, drawn to conspiratorial conclusions, and BDS), but if I fell off a cliff and was hanging by a stump, and Glenn Sock Puppet said “here’s a rope”, I’d yell, “is there anyone else up there?”
*sigh*
‘Night.
Shorter Kevin: I do enjoy boogers. Not to eat though, just to pick.
FWIW:
His argument is really shitty (why frame it as ‘Muslims vs. Muslims vs. The World’?), but c’mon guys, this guy is likable, at least in some respects.
Think of if like so; This Tawfik guy is urging people to take action against the Muslim equivalent of Jerry Falwell. He’s asking other Muslims to, among other things,
Hell, isn’t that what we want? When ministers and rabbis and priests say the Christian or Jewish equivalent of these things don’t we agree with them?
Admittendly, he has a whole bunch of pandering shit in there as well. Take this line for example:
This is clearly meant to appeal to his audience (WSJ business-hotshot, W.A.S.P. wannabe’s), and it’s awkward lines like these that make me think that he’s modifying his argument. Notice that almost all the sentences that contain statistics fall into the above WASP-pandering pattern. If you need to spin an argument to fit an audience, what’s the easiest way to do this? Why, you dig up some numbers, and this is exactly what he does. This tells me that he believes he crux of his argument (that moderate Muslims must assume more political power), but he needs to augment that argument with some “anti-muslamofascist” rhetioric.
All in all, I’d give this guy a 50/50 chance that he’s actually a somewhat moderate Muslim, much like any other somewhat moderate Christian or Jew in this country, who makes a point to get to worship once a week, but takes it in with a few grains of salt.
Rosiest Kevin:
blah blah
hating courtesy
finding rough roads in
all woody fields
having a carrot
no
for us there is only squash
happiness pie
Mr. Lebowski, I kinda get you, but this equivocation liberals try to do is extremely anoying. Full disclosure: I don’t believe in God, but hope he exists, though if he does, I’ve got some ‘splainin to do.
But when you bring Jerry Falwell into the mix, you lose the argument. Jerry Falwell’s got no reason to ask Christians to not kill apostates. They don’t do that in Christianity. They don’t control women, and they don’t take slaves. You’ve got to admit it. Only muslims do these things. To not admit it would make you as lame as amnesty international (caps omitted ’cause they’re so lame). Don’t blame other religions for Islam’s failures in it’s treatment of women, apostacy, and slavery. Again, we have to decide together , both good and evil (i.e. left and right… you decide which is which) whether we are willing to let this crap continue.
Mr. Hamid is saying that they will do it on their own. I’m firmly on the right, saying, ‘ok, get to it’. You appear to be firmly on the left (since you’re here) saying, ‘ok, get to it’. I hope you’ll abandon your moral equivalence of judaism, christianity and islam, but can’t both sides support this guy? After all you’ve said, “Hell, isn’t that what we want?” I say, “Hell yeah”. And we are as yin and yang as two people can get. Can’t we work together on this one? His message is a good one, even if you don’t throw other religions into the mix (you know, since other religions generally don’t cause death, at least in the last few hundred years).
We’re kind of screwed if both sides are not willing to help Islam convert to an actual Religion of Peace. Bush is evil, Cheney is Halliburton’s devilspawn… whatever. Can we get over that and start helping good muslims reclaim or retake their religion?
ps – how do you wannabe a W.A.S.P.? 🙂 If it’s possible, I wannabe one. But the kind with a stinger, for ppl that tick me off. Must be reuseable.
Rasp, rasp, raspetty slurp, rasp. Bulbul, please oh please don’t feed the troll. Rasp, rasp, stretch, rasp.
the “Flying Imams,” the six individuals who were pulled from a US Airways flight in Minneapolis this past November after engaging in suspicious behavior before takeoff.
What suspicious behaviour? Oh, yeah. Praying. Carry on.
Not long ago, CAIR filed a “John Doe” lawsuit that would have made passengers liable for “malicious” complaints about suspicious Muslim passengers.
Suspicious why? Oh, because they’re Muslim.
that such a lawsuit would have a chilling effect on passengers who witnessed alarming activity and wished to report it.
Alarming? Praying? Well, hey, I’m an atheist, so I consider any sort of religion worrying, but I’ve kinda got used to it, what with living in a multicultural country and all (at least it was). Some folks believe fables, but it doesn’t necessarily make them bad people.
Hate, now, that I consider alarming. Bigotry, scapegoating, and ignorance, downright frightening. But don’t mind me.
For 20 years, I have preached a reformed interpretation of Islam that teaches peace and respects human rights.
Put this together with this:
Dr. Hamid, a onetime member of Jemaah Islamiya, an Islamist terrorist group, is a medical doctor and Muslim reformer living in the West.
…and we get an intriguing picture of Dr. Hamid.
It has been estimated that of the two million refugees fleeing Islamic terror in Iraq,
Oh, dear. “Islamic terror”? Say rather “an illegal and brutal occupation, augmented by civil war and violent insurgency brought on by said occupation”. After all, who invaded who? Who, as a small child would say, started it? And who, in defiance of world opinion and moral outrage, continues it?
Of course, Islamist attacks are not limited to Christians and Jews
Of course, Zionist attacks are not limited to Christians and Muslims. Of course, Christian attacks are not limited to Muslims and Jews.
Is this man an idiot? Does he not know about all the other violence going on in the world? Does he really believe that it’s all and only “Islamist”? But I digress.
Where is the Muslim outcry over the Sunni-Shiite violence in Iraq?
Where is the American outcry over the vastly greater US-inflicted violence in Iraq?
Come on, Dr. Hamid, you’re being disingenuous. The violence in Iraq is a direct result of US aggression. The attack on September 11 2001 was a direct result of American imperialism. The bombings in Madrid and London were a direct result of American aggression in Iraq. Why is it so hard to grasp?
I’m really so tired of this fatuous meme that all violence done by Muslims is solely because of Islam, whereas all violence done by Christians either (a) doesn’t exist (as in the US in Iraq); (b) is morally justified (reference (a) and abortion clinic bombings); (c) is the work of a lone nutcase; or, in extremis, (d) is politically motivated.
People are people, and motivations are often similar. The war on Iraq was sold to a gullible public as ‘retribution’ for 9/11, although the Iraqis are really being used as scapegoats for the real actors. Meanwhile, nationalistic fervour is being whipped up by propaganda suggesting that Muslims are somehow different, and that Islam is a dangerous religion, rather than addressing the real issues.
I’m saddened that so many people are still so stupid. We need a stupid vaccine, and we need it now!
Man, that was like coughing up a monster of a hairball. I feel cleansed.
I’m just gunna mention, for all the “where the outcry?” peeps.
A: Many Iranian youth took to the streets to voice their opposition to Al Qaeda and their solidarity with the US after September.
B: Hitler rose to power in1934-35. WWII didn’t start until 1939, the US didn’t enter until hour 11, 1941.
I’m just sayin.
You may feel cleansed, but the rest of the world has been slapped with your offal. Yeah, those 6 imams were just praying. They had no alternative agenda. Such a belief is precisely why I think so many of you are silly. There’s really no way you can think those 6 imams were ‘just praying’, assuming you know what happened. But you think it’s cool for them to file suit against the people who noted their weirdness (which you must know was not in accord with evening prayers of a muslim, and appears to be designed to provoke exactly the concern that it evoked) to make sure that weirdness is not questioned in the future?
Yeah, I don’t like people who mislead others. Guess what, I don’t like YOU, Quetesh! Can you guess why? Friggin’ liar. Do people on the left believe your lies?
The lie is that Islam is the cause of all worldwide violence. The lie breaks down when you start to point out that Christianity has the exact same problems as Islam. And indeed, radical Christianists act almost identically to radical Islamists.
Christianists being Christians who do not believe in a separation between church and state, but want a Christian Government. Radical Christianists are those Christianists who want to acheive this goal through violence. The terms Islamist and Radical Islamist mean the same thing for Muslims.
I’d like to know where the “young Muslim males are responsible for 95% of world terror” statistic comes from.
N.C., yes, I’d be interested to see that, too. It seems that somebody has never heard of the Tamil Tigers…
Yes, I’d say the 95% stat comes directly from the ass of some flack of David Horowitz, FOX News, or some other pure propaganda outfit.
Also, “Terrorism” is a word with no fixed definition. Chomsky pointed out that the US millitary has a definition, something like ‘whenever a group uses violence or the threat of it, against civilians, for a political political outcome’. And he points out that, if that’s the definition, then Al Queda are terrorists, and so is the US, and so is the IRA, and the UK, and damn near everyone else.
The way the word “Terrorist” is used on the TV/cable news, it means instead, ‘anyone who fights us in the War On Terror, or who doesn’t like the US or its allies’. Basically it means whatever they need it to mean at any given time.
It seems that somebody has never heard of the Tamil Tigers…
or the Basque ETA, or the Animal/Earth Liberation Forces, or the anti-abortion Army of God, or the Christian Identity Phineas Priesthood, or the Jewish Defense League, or a whole bunch of other non-brown, non-swarthy terrorist groups.
Qetesh,
Rasp, rasp, raspetty slurp, rasp. Bulbul, please oh please don’t feed the troll. Rasp, rasp, stretch, rasp.
Yeah, sorry about that. My trolldar obviously needs calibrating.
Apologies to the assembled crowds. And to Kevin, a word of advice: they can treat that sort of thing now. With pills.
Shorter Kevin: Still blah, blah, blah.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1sx7x_saddams-secrets
http://www.islam21c.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=45
http://www.islam21c.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=64724&Itemid=13
Well obviously these links mean hundreds of thousands of people had to die and Iraq should have been destroyed.
Right on, Righteous Bubba. Let’s expunge all sin and purge the world! Hahahahahaha!
Sorry. Fell into Religious Retard mode for a second there.
Well tickle my labial flaps.
Well, Cripes, at least she didn’t cut-‘n-paste an entire, 5000-word article. If that was really Marie, it’s frightening that she’s learning HTML.
Hmmm…
[considers it for a few seconds]
[shakes fist in air]
HTMLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!1!
It is truly outstanding that morons such you who write in this blogs have remained as such for all these years. You are all traitors . The term ” Useful Idiots ” can’t begin to describe you mentality. I loath each and everyone of you George Sorros lackeys. You are USA traitors as well. Your a group that should be sent to Iran to live. “How-to’ Manual Found in Al Qaeda Safe House Shows Disturbing Torture Methods” Yes peeps you all are miserable bastards of sin.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,275341,00.html
YOU SUCK!
Marie Jon’
Yes peeps you all are miserable bastards of sin.
Band name.
Ah, too true, too true….