“Thank G-d No Muslims Will Be Sucking On My T-ts!!”
So exclaims surgically-enhanced Atlas Juggs:
Holy shia! Breastfeeding Muslim Men
From the you can’t make this shia up department. The money quote on this Islamic nightmare, “if a man [is] nursed from a co-worker, it would establish a family bond between them and allow the two to work side-by-side without raising suspicion of an illicit sexual relation.”
OK let me get this straight, sucking a woman’s breast eliminates suspicion of a sexual relation? I am confused. But thrilled I am not a muslim woman. There is a G-d.
Above: The sons of Ishmael are likewise relieved.
The inspiration for Harpy’s latest hategasm is this JPost story about an Egyptian cleric who issued the pro-breastfeeding fatwa and was reprimanded for it. See, when they are sexually restrictive, they are subhuman, and when a few of them loosen up, even in a subconscious way, well then to Pammy they are …still subhuman. Whatever they do, her preferred solution is final:
Gotta crush this plague on humanity.
Hey, maybe Pammy will declare Randian/Kahanneist jihad on all societies in which the mammalian act of breastfeeding is sometimes performed for biologically superfluous, culturally derived reasons. No? You’re probably right.
In other Pammy news, her Randroid worship of property is easily overcome by her genocidal hatred of Muslims: Mickey Mouse has earned a Pammy jihad. I’m sure we’ll eventually hear about how he’s been nuzzling Daisy Duck’s rack in a ticket booth at Magic Kingdom.
Also, just in case you’re not clear on what Pammy’s all about:
I am only interested in winning the war by any means. [Emphasis and Nazified insanity in the hard original]
iVolk
iReich
iPammycakes
iOven?
If she’s interested in “winning the war by any means.“, wouldn’t that set of possibilities include her breast feeding Muslim men?
Assuming, of course, they aren’t allergic to milk laced with silicone.
I think we may have to amend or strike Godwin’s law at this point. Comparing the Right to the Reich is becoming less and less hyperbolic.
Would “winning the war by any means” include suicide bombing?
Oh Pam. Sounds like what you need is another magical moustache ride!
This is what happens when a quasi-literate, B-list porn queen reads Ayn Rand and experiences a sort of creepy religious conversion from all that objectivist piffle. No offense, Pammy, but all your knee-jerk hubris and laughably nutty self-confidence is belied by the fact you are completely incapable of making any substantive contributions to “your” war. You might as well write “I SUPPORT THE TROOPS” on your bare titts and stand outside Fort Benning flashing them as young soldiers depart for their horrific tour in Iraq. That would at lease validate a little of your insane babblings.
Silly little bitch. Silly, silly. Silly, silly, silly.
you can’t suckle fake tits.
trust me – my mom has em.
Howdy, my hippie friends! Ready for another round? I for one am happy that no islamists will be attaching themselves to my bountiless boobs, but I’m even more happy with Mat’s idea.
“You might as well write “I SUPPORT THE TROOPSâ€? on your bare titts and stand outside Fort Benning flashing them as young soldiers depart for their horrific tour in Iraq. That would at lease validate a little of your insane babblings.”
Totally, Mat! In fact, let’s go one step further, and say that women should go bare breasted all of the time, and have sex with random men in protest of… whatever it is they are protesting! Protest the war, protest racism, whatever. Just protest!
And call me! I’ll rub on your naked body and claim it’s in protest of whatever you want. No fatties plz.
You guys completely parody yourselves. How can I make fun of the Gavins and gavinic hippies when you guys do it to yourselves? It doesn’t seem fair.
Just sayin’.
Kevin – I gotta agree with you. I guess your work here is done!!!!one111eleven!
Is Gavin a Jew? “G-d”… Leaving the ‘o’ out is extremely Jewish. Imagine the fun we can all have on the left supporting the crazy muslims and their genocidal agression towards the Jews, when all the while our great benefactor enjoys bagels and lox! (unrelated: I support Israel no matter what they do, in perpetuity)
Hand to God (er, G-d), hippie logic is hilarious! “I support freedoms! But not freedom of speech, for other countries at least! And I’m against the second amendment… ’cause guns have been known to kill from time to time. Freedom of religion is great, but only if they shut the hell up when I’m around.”
Friggin’ hippies. If you weren’t so silly, you’d be dangerous.
I wili re-iterate:
What is wrong with being a pot addled hippie?
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
And when I wili, I wili!
Wait. I think I’m getting this…Is Kevin a troll?
I was accused of being one once, and I’m not even a ‘reality challenged right wing support of war in Israels name FOREVA!!!!’ type of guy.
Kelticgirl, cha, but my work on hippie sites is NEVER done. There are ridiculous amounts of your ‘believers’ who think that global warming is caused by something other than the sun, that Al Gore is an overall benefit to the world, that hollywood helps us determine the biggest problems with the world, and that progress is bad (progressives saying ‘progress is bad’. Sheesh).
Also, if you spell your name with a K, more people will pronounce it right. Your call though.
After making such a fuss over sucking on tits, I wonder how Pammy is going to handle this report of President Ahmadinejad being accused of indecency. No, it was nothing salacious, he just kissed the hand of his former school teacher.
Will she manage to read beyond the headline or will she hit the keyboard straight away.
ps The Hezbollah newspaper is NOTHING to do with Hezbollah in Lebanon.
Toby, yes, I’m the trolliest of trolls. No need to accuse. I admit it. I have a great hatred for hippies, but suffer from the belief that they can be reformed into normal people. Most hippies (not the kind sucking the government teat of course) are completely capable of rational thought. I troll evil Gavin’s site once a month in the hopes that I can convert someone from the dark side. Will you be that one toby? Come over to the side of good!
Seriously though, Gavin is evil. And equally seriously, I hate hippies.
Shorter Kevin-
Today, I ran out of pants to sniff
Mmmm. Pie.
It worked, Kevin! Your semi-literate ramblings have converted me! Praise Jesus, Bush and Reagan!
Blow said:
“After making such a fuss over sucking on ***’s, I wonder how Pammy is going to handle this report of President Ahmadinejad being accused of indecency. ”
Wish you wouldn’t swear (you could say ‘boobs’ if you cared), but still, even bigger, what can she say about whining that we’re crushing misogyny across the globe. Even the hippies should admit (well, the hippiettes at least) that evil horrific Bush is saving many a woman. It’s tough to do, especially for the feminazis, but can any of you admit that Bush is actually helping the female cause? Bet you can’t!
They are cute, aren’t they?
I’m sorry, Kevin, hiding behind my humble exterior is an intellect that you and your fellow Keyboard Commandoes cannot assail with the weak talking points that you have put forth.
Wait a second…You’re such a sad sack that I think it must, again, be one of the boys posing as a reality-challenged loser. The redirect to Google tipped me off.
You guys are so clever…
Isn’t Pam nursing us all from the teet of Randite idiocy?
Untrue! There are at least 5 pairs of unsniffed pairs of pants waiting for a sniffing. Quit lyin’ my pet goat.
Kevin likes me!
Hey Kevin-
Fuck you.
This is amateur shit, Kevin. You’re shotgunning liberal stereotypes, but don’t use “babykiller?” You gotta diversify if you’re gonna be in the big leagues, kid!
Gus suggested:
“It worked, Kevin! Your semi-literate ramblings have converted me! Praise Jesus, Bush and Reagan!”
First, thank you for calling my perfect English ‘semi-literate’! Second, if you are too busy, don’t bother praising Jesus or Bush. Just praise Reagan. He was, after all, the guy who made America great again after Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, and Carter trashed it.
Parody troll?
“Seriously though, Gavin is evil. And equally seriously, I hate hippies.”
C’mon, guys! if you are going to make up a pathetic Reicher, you could at least riff on someone other than Eric Cartman. Seriously, guys, seriously.
Kev, if you need cheap attention go hit on underage girls at the mall or summin. You’re boring.
As to the actual content of this post, forget the assault on reason, it’s an assault on reality. Like lil Debbie snackcakes’ bit about how the bad fiction of a crazy wannabe litigant shows Muslim doctors are going to KILL YOU. Or Pam’s roasted baby. Meanwhile, white wingnuts are actually growing more and more violent. But Dave Neiwert is just a conspiracy theorist.
You’d think gals who make such a big deal about being jewish would be more familiar with the concept of blood libel. Or maybe they are, and think they’re putting that knowledge to good use.
Praise Jesus, Bush and Reagan!
Republicans would prefer that you refer to these three as, respectively, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Ack, too many hippies! Please realize that I love you all (in the way an owner loves his aging pet that he must soon humanely put down). I’ll try to rebutt you, but history tells me that I won’t be able to. Regardless, hugs! See, I hugged the crazy hippies (if only emotically)… can you say the same?
Typical liberal said:
“This is amateur shit, Kevin. You’re shotgunning liberal stereotypes, but don’t use “babykiller?â€? You gotta diversify if you’re gonna be in the big leagues, kid!”
You got me. I am indeed an ameteur. But isn’t it hilarious how huggy kissy liberal stereotypes are in fact accurate? What’s not funny is how friggin’ racist they are, but that’s best left for another trolling.
Brilliance in the vein of Oregon. Good job! Your eloquence should make your fellow Oregonians proud.
Silly hippies.
That settles it. Leonard? HTML? Brad? Which is it? I wanna know.
The part where the parody troll doesn’t even notice that the ‘o’ was left out in pammy original :
“Is Gavin a Jew? “G-dâ€?… Leaving the ‘o’ out is extremely Jewish.”
That was pretty amateurish. At least try to make it seem like this is a real live person, guys! You know, the kind with a functioning brain?
Why would you think that? Only one crazy liberal has said as much, and yet you are willing to believe that the entire conservative movement agrees with you? If you buy into such rubbish, then I’m SERIOUSLY overestimating the power of a liberal mind. What kind of idiot would say such a silly thing as ‘Conservatives think Bush, Reagan and Jesus should be, irrespectively, the “Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.”‘
Seriously, are liberals THAT stupid? Is that exactly how deep they can delve into other’s minds?
(ah, you have now determined that we aren’t the idiots the NYT has led you to believe. Well, TOO LATE my hippie friends! Abandon the dark side of the force. Come over to the light! Sure, you might have to work for a living, but your spouse, your children, and even the nation will be proud of you.)
Hippies, get some friggin’ jobs! Lazy #$^%$&^&*^’s!
Um, Kevin? When a post has someone else’s name on it, it was written by that person.
[goes back to dusting his collection of glass animal figurines]
Kevin:
What kind of idiot would say such a silly thing as ‘Conservatives think Bush, Reagan and Jesus should be, irrespectively, the “Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.�‘
Evidently, you.
Gavin, I’m still calling you a gay Jew. Other than that, please ignore me. To your benefit, I find you almost as funny as the Ace of Spades, though you are firmly on the side of evil. Not quite, but almost. Evil can be funny, but after a while it gets annoying. Your site has become annoying now. Can’t you support America for a change?
We live here hippies. Support us.
…on the left supporting the crazy muslims and their genocidal agression…
Kevin, I know that one way or another you’re a joke. But c’mon, even if you’re a parody troll you must know that “not wanting to kill or imprison them all” is not equal to “supporting genocidal agression”.
The reason I hate kevin more than the other trolls is his smugness. This whole “hippie” thing is painfully stupid. There ARE no hippies, and those of us who WERE hippies are not going to take offense at the appelation. This whole assumption that nobody to the left of Ghengis Khan has a job. This whole stupid assumption that no liberal would be in support of the second ammendment, or that the second ammendment means nutcase multiple felons should be allowed unfettered access to M240 Bravos and M203s.
On the whole, kevin, tighten up your schtick or give it the hell up. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, what it is is annoying. Or, I guess, if that’s your goal, you’ve succeeded. Pie for you, dickface…
mikey
Hah! Sadly, this shows your mentality, or as they say in your neck of the woods, your ‘thinkitude’.
Try again, RZ. You’ve failed miserably so far.
Forget all I previously said. He is not a parody. Just an idiot.
T4 out.
You’re missing the point. This is obviously Pammy’s new punchline introduced top make up for the often misinterpreted thumbs up gesture. For example.
I just flew in from New York. Boy, are my arms tired. Gotta crush this plague on humanity!
Doctor says I’ve got to cut back on the face lifts. One more op and I really will be talking through my…Gotta crush this plague on humanity!
Kevin’s afternoon:
1. types “blah blah blah hippies blah blah blah Reagan blah blah blah hippies”
2. clicks “submit comment”
3. strokes his micro-penis a few times
4. eats a handful of cheetos
5. clicks on “refresh”
6. repeat
The fact is, there’s only room for one parody troll here.
What’s the war on Terrrrrror coming to when a g-d fearing patriot like Pammy won’t even proffer to suckle an arab? The CIA could inject some kinda substance D in those fake funbags that would leech out with each nipply nuzling. Imagine the converts.
Why does she hate America?
Sucking on Crazy Pammy’s boobs would mean a mouthful of saline solution. And shame.
Current Wheel of Fortune Puzzle: G-d
“I’d like to buy a vowel. Can I have an ‘a’?”
“Oooh, I’m sorry.”
“G-ddammit!!!”
Kevin, if you try to “rebutt” me, you better buy me dinner first.
Hey, hippies, while I’m spamming the thread, I was wondering, is anyone else bothered by this freakish “ENTER SOME CRAP TO COMPLETE YOUR POST” rigamarole? Because I’ll be honest. It’s enough to make me quit spamming you. This is no longer about Gavin having the audacity to assault a respectable good guy site like Six Meat Buffet. We all know he’s evil and would crush the world in his fingers if only he was big enough. It’s more than that now.
Seriously, you won’t be forgiven, Gavin, until you apologize to your betters. I admit it, I’m only barely better than you at Photoshopping. But until you apologize to those at 6MB, who are ridiculously better than you at it, and yet you’ve challenged as if you are of equal caliber, this crap will continue.
The Six Meat Buffet is better than you! Better than you and your evil followers! Admit it so we can all get on with our lives.
Sucking on Crazy Pammy’s boobs would mean a mouthful of saline solution. And shame.
“It tastes like Jersey!”
May I suggest that if “Kevin” wants to set up shop as a resident S,N! troll he might consider getting himself a more distinctive moniker?
“Is Gavin a Jew? “G-dâ€?… Leaving the ‘o’ out is extremely Jewish. ”
Kevin, you fucktard – it’s pronounced “Jeh-vah”.
And watch out for the stone-throwers if you’re gonna run around shouting it.
You completely forgot 7. Hike up the basement stairs to ask Mom what’s for dinner.
Hope it’s something good! Sadly, me not being a hippie, I don’t live with my Mom. I’m stuck with whatever the wife makes (ooh was that too forward for you? I meant ‘spouse’. She may be a dude, as far as you know!)
Hey Kevin, Toby Keith just fell down a well.
Go for help, boy.
There was a gallon of SunnyD in the refrigerator when I went to work this morning, young man. Care to explain yourself?
Mike said:
Kevin, if you try to “rebutt� me, you better buy me dinner first.
Touche. I would have said ‘dinner and a movie’, but nevertheless, you’ve proven that liberals can be funny too! It’s not fair that liberals are painted as humorless idiots. With your wit, we can convert people to believe liberals are humorful! It’s probably best to solve the ‘idiots’ problem later.
if you spell your name with a K, more people will pronounce it right.
It looks like Cevin is (barely) bright enough to look up Celtic in the dictionary. I’m guessing he’s about 15 and thinks annoying is the same as funny.
what is this hippie shit? i, like what i suspect is the majority of commenters here, listen to the punk rock and not so much of the grateful dead.
you are wrong on multiple levels, dude. you have even misplaced your moronic obsession with strawman hippieness. take it…wherever.
Nothing in this post is meant to insult any hippies or ex-hippies we may have around, however.
oh, and if i see you in the pit, kevin, i will be sure to stomp on you really really hard.
Not entirely sure what you meant about stone throwers, but I totally got the #$^%-tard reference. Do you kiss your Mom with those lips? My guess is that she is quite ashamed of you. Rather than admit your shame, you should say it’s “empowering” to swear. Then look cocky. Trust me, many unintelligent girls will confuse it with intelligence. You’ll be in!
Excellent argumentation skills, my boy. A chip off the ol block.
Bob the Green said:
“what is this hippie shit?”1
EXACTLY!!!!! WTH is up with all of these freakin’ hippies? “Let’s hug a tree!” “Let’s kill a baby, but we won’t call it a baby because it’s still in the uterus!”. “Let’s trip the light fandango!”
“Let’s save a seal or a penguin, or a whale or something, so non-hippie fools will think we’re cool and sleep with us!”
I shall repeat: I hate hippies. HATE.
Pammy = bat Shiia insane.
My hate for hippies is a Freudian issue. To be very honest, I never wash myself.
Kevin’s Dad, You are nothing like my Dad. He makes sense. If you wish to be relevant, you might try saying you are ‘kevin’ and then saying some ridiculous garbage that you believe the correct (er. right) mantra of the good guys.
It’s important to know… we don’t HATE hippies. We just understand that hippies are stupid. But don’t take this the wrong way. Very many stupid people are pretty! So yeah, you won’t be rocket scientists, but you’ll make great beta males and females! Apologies for dominating you.
“Let’s kill a baby, but we won’t call it a baby because it’s still in the uterus!�
Ahh, now Kevin’s true colors come to light. He wants the guvmint to have control over womens’ uteri. He’s just another authoritarian Jeebus freak crying out for attention. Any sort of attention will do. And he’s on a higher moral plane than all of us because he doesn’t swear. What a square, lame piece of shit.
You are a pussy-ass bitch, Kevin. Suck my motherfucking balls, you cum-guzzling asstwat. How’s that for swearing?
Now get out of your fucking basement and go enlist in the war you right-wingers love so much. Oh, what’s that, you’re not going to enlist? Dirty fucking hippie.
When I saw all the comments, I thought it meant there was a rousing conversation going. Sadly, No! Jeez, at least the other trolls take longer masturbating between comments. Kevin is a two-pump chump.
Another troll for the Greasemonkey…
Mmm… pie!
I’m guessing he’s about 15 and thinks annoying is the same as funny.
Hey, Tom Green made something of a career out of it, why can’t Kevin? Inspiration, reaching for the stars (while keeping your feet on the ground, as Mr Kasem would add), thinking he can, and all that. Shit, man, it’s hard to have no life yet shoulder the burdens of such aspirations. Perhaps we should be more, you know, nurturing, like good dirty little hippies.
“Two-pump” indeed. What unbelievable rubbish. As if anyone could go that long. Why don’t you bring up the myth of the monster-sized 2″ penis as well?
“It tastes like Jersey!�
That is both hilarious and disgusting. Well played.
Off topic, from Truthout’s live coverage of Monica’s testimony:
2:47 PM EDT
Goodling said Kyle Sampson, former chief of staff to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, told her she could question applicants’ political views and weigh their responses, to determine whether that person should be hired by the Justice Department. Using a political litmus test to hire federal employees appears to violate numerous federal laws. Goodling is under federal investigation and the subject of an internal Justice Department investigation for factoring politics into a final decision to hire DOJ applicants.
– Jason Leopold
________ Well, after this is all over, I’m sure Ms. Goodling will be able to use that great legal education to get a fine job.
Speaking of lawyers, I’ll bet that Mrs. Kevin-if such a person truly exists-could use the services of a good divorce attorney. For the love of sanity, woman, get away! And get any possible children away, before they grow up to be unmitigated, asshole fucktards like their father.
Now, returning to our regularly scheduled pie….
You know, I really thought Kevin would take the hint and realize that his work here was, indeed, done. Moonbats, agree with me on this – we are a hilarious example of self-parody. Hippies unite! Let’s all go hug treesso he can’t cut them down!
After all, I’m sure Kevin has a lawn to mow or something MUCH more important to do than lecture me on how to pronounce my own handle and call us all hippies and dopers. Right Kev? Right? You DO have a life, don’t you?
Sadly, No!
Hippies…..?
Why not go for the gusto and start railing about all the dirty Commies?
That shit is about as stale as “YER IN YER MOMS BASEMENT!!!11!!”
Of the unemployed folks I know, most are apolitical. Most of the rest sort of like the GOP. I don’t think any qualify as lazy pot-smoking hippies.
Hell, I work 200 hour months, mostly representing land developers, and I do a damn good job of it. A lot of those wealthy land barons are liberal, too.
Now, of course when we’re not supporting ourselves and paying the taxes that support the fucken red state freeloaders, we’re having hippy pot parties where everyone trips out on weed and tries to jump through panes of glass, after psycho freakouts caused by listening to too much Jefferson Airplane. But other than that….fuck it, I lost my train of thought. Who’s got a hacky sack?
“Goodling is under federal investigation and the subject of an internal Justice Department investigation for factoring politics into a final decision to hire DOJ applicants.
– Jason Leopold”
Unfortunately, Jason Leopold has pretty much waived any right to have anything he says taken at face value, in perpetuity.
Kevin said,May 23, 2007 at 18:59
Kevin said,May 23, 2007 at 19:30 First, thank you for calling my perfect English ’semi-literate’!
“Hand”, when used as a verb, is generally (I want to say exclusively, but not quite that certain) transitive, not intransitive. Q.E.D., you are a L-I-A-R.
I still want to know why Kevin the Dirty Fucking Hippie hasn’t enlisted for the Iraq War.
Nim, Leopold’s just one of several reporting on Truthout today about the testimony…
What’s next, Kev? Ya makea couple of ranting, spittle-flecked videos you put on YouTube, then go slaughter a classroom full of innocents with an Uzi?
Or do you, sitting there in your Mom’s basement, your tighty-whitey BVDs ever so slighly skid-marked, just poke your cat’s eyeballs like Moe from the Three Stooges?
It’s hard to remember how you wacko type wack jobs get your jollies.
Love the man boobs, tho. Try human growth hormones and pushups to make them more supple..
Hmm, since Kevin’s back I think I’m gonna finally go look up narcissistic personality disorder in the latest DSM.
Then, off to the bakery.
Nim, Leopold’s just one of several reporting on Truthout today about the testimony…
Best to mention the others then. Leopold’s failures always seem like “I’ll bet this is gonna happen, so I’ll write an article about it so I can say I got there first.”
After that intro, why would I Read the rest of this entry?
It’s like being invited to eat vomit out of a toilet. I pass.
Another perfectly good thread destroyed by a douchebag troll. I apologize for my part in encouraging it.
I refuse to read anything by or about Pam anymore.
“Sucking on Crazy Pammy’s boobs would mean a mouthful of saline solution. And shame.”
And vodka.
After making such a fuss over sucking on ***’s, I wonder how Pammy is going to handle this report of President Ahmadinejad being accused of indecency. �
Wish you wouldn’t swear (you could say ‘boobs’ if you cared),
“Tits” isn’t swearing in the least: it’s an alternate spelling of “teats”, which is acknowledged in biology and animal husbandry as the correct term on all mammals. “Boobs” is the puerile colloquialism.
When was the last time you milked a cow by grabbing its boobs, Kevin?
Never mind–I’m sorry I asked.
Another perfectly good thread destroyed by a douchebag troll. I apologize for my part in encouraging it.
Don’t worry about it dude. Just get the greasemonkey script and add him to it. You can have him say whatever you want. If he’s willing to be a puppet for the man surely he won’t mind you pulling the strings either. Most people go with a liking for pie but he tells me:
Kevin said,
May 23, 2007 at 21:50
Allahu Akbar!
Allahu Akbar!
You called?
/third grade
Could those who have the scripts set up for certain trolls share with those who don’t the texts that appear for them when the trolls post comments? The classic is, of course, “I like pie!,” and Lawnguylander lists another above. I think someone mentioned a scatological one the other day. Are there any others?
I’ve stuck with the pie because it’s so sunny and agreeable.
If you’re asking about different text that replaces particular trolls, the script currently in use does not discriminate between trolls. You block ’em all and the same text appears, whatever that might be.
Haven’t read every post but…
Anyone see the video on Pam’s site of the Humvee in Iraq rear ending cars left and right to get them out of it’s way? I bet Iraqis love that.
Thanks, Righteous Bubba.
according to george carlin, tits is a dirty word
Anyone see the video on Pam’s site of the Humvee in Iraq rear ending cars left and right to get them out of it’s way? I bet Iraqis love that.
How long before we see jihadis driving Pintos?
This thread needs a picture of a fat guy with a sammich.
Hey, gang, let’s all play the cello! It’s fun, just follow me: rasp, rasp, rasp, slurp, rasp, raspetty rasp.
There, wasn’t that good? Get the taste of annoying ignorant trolls out of yer mouth by licking yer own arse!
Rasp, slurp, rasp.
Oh, and nice smackdown on the tits issue, Dorothy. Don’t know whether the doofus will get it though: he seems firmly entrenched in a sort of Technicolour 1960s tight-arse suburban dream, where we’re all hairy hippies who want to smoke pot on his lawn. “Tits” is probably a word that got his botty tanned when he was a wee boy, and he’s had a sweaty obsession with it ever since.
Rasp, slurp, rasp, rasp.
Qetesh, if Kevin was my neighbor, I’d make a point of covering myself with a large amount of patchouli oil, putting on my best tie dyes and birkenstocks, take a hemp blanket down, spread it on his lawn and fire up a great big doobie. I’ve always wondered what apoplexy actually looked like…
mikey
cokane said: according to george carlin, tits is a dirty word
Carlin did point out that you couldn’t say “tits” on the radio or TV, but he opposed the banning of it. “‘Tits’ doesn’t even belong on the list” were his words.
…the list of banned words, that is.
And may I say, thanks once again to ImJohnGalt, without whose Greasemonkey script I’d actually be threatened with the possibility of seeing anything Kevin has to say. Whew.
They’re not breasts, they’re just big chemical bags. Don’t call them breasts.
My most esteemed patient has seemingly escaped the state facility where he has been held on a DTSO. He has been known to adopt other personae at times and will manipulate you into validating his paranoid fantasies with your attention using a particularly maddening passive-aggressive, quasi-friendly tone (described by many as smug).
If you see him around anywhere DO NOT ENGAGE, report to any Southern California uniformed authority, we’ve blanketed the state with an APB for his apprehension.
-30-
Hey Qetesh, I like the addition of “raspetty.” It’s whimsical without disrupting the essential rhythm. Also, I find that the entire phrase (rasp, rasp, rasp, slurp, rasp, raspetty rasp) has far more poetry and significance than anything certain billy-goats-gruff-taunting under-bridge dwellers have had to say here . . .
I think Kevin is a performist artist (albeit, a poor one…so synonomous with attention troll, or mime, for that matter).
P.S. This must be a parody site.
for no good reason, i quote Peaches, eminent young songwriter and lunatic:
synonomous
I meant sin on Ann Althouse, of course. The White House apologizes for the error.
Now Pammy’s editing comments ex post facto. I wrote to Typekey to tell them that the online security they promise is compromised by her penchant for making her critics say things like “I live to hate the Jews” and “I love seeing out troops killed.”
Fuck you Pam.
Watch out, RZ. Next thing you know, she’ll do a whois, and accuse you of being the same sockpuppet as all her other commenters who live at Verizon in Northern Virginia.
1880 Campus Commons Drive?
I sleep next to the elevator lobby on the 3rd floor.
BTW, can we whois Pam? I imagine there’s a good chance that she uses Verizon too.
You need her ip #. But we don’t, really, she’s from lawnguyland.
iVolk
iReich
iPammycakes
iOven?
Sure, iMicrowave Oven, maybe…
You mean because she’s from LI she’s automatically a Verizon customer?
Pammycakes
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Nice bust, RZ..
OOooopz!
Trust me, it’s all … silicone.
Two plastic bags and a lotta silicone...
/beck
Wow, nice ups, thunder. Beck played that song at the 2000 webbies. Kind of the last gasp of the dot com free money bubble. I did the DVD. We were all living stupid, playing dukematch and pretending what we were doing was sustainable. The VCs were throwing money at “first mover advantage” and customer acquisition costs for webvan was over $2200.00. It was silly, and crazy, and fun…
mikey
Hi Mikey,
Unique page views, or some such, were capitalized to create a market value, if I recall correctly?
The SN! folks would be happily rich. Or comfortably numb, or something. As they deserve.
I’m going to spend some more paypal dollars on S,N!
P.S. A suggestion, or maybe should be phrased in the form of a question: Does everyone else have to enter a code each time they submit a comment, these dayze?
And now? People care about “costs”, and “profits”, and ROI. Pisses me off. Why couldn’t we just keep playing in the sandbox?
mikey
The kindacaptcha thingie happens to me sometimes, and unpredictably. Unfortunately, I’m old and have trouble discerning the actual characters presented, so it mocks me mercilessly. Seb says just log in and it’s not a problem, but I’m resistant, recalcitrant, and basically rebellious…
mikey
I withdraw my question.
I’ve been having to use a code for weeks, to prove I’m not a spammer. And recently, I had to re-enter all personal info each time I commented.
Yesterday, S,N! decided I could be known as ifthethunderdontgetya, but not ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©, and I still had to enter a non spammer code.
And now, I can just comment away, with no spam code to enter, or extra ASCII superscript to enter the old fashioned way (just like my great grandparents).
Yippee!
P.S. I submit this information, because it may help S,N! with their traffic optimization.
ITTDGY, it’s happened to me, like, three times in the past week. Not enough to really bug me.
By entering a code for weeks, I mean entering a code every time I submitted a comment during those weeks.
Damn, and I thought everyone else was doing the same.
*Sniff*
I’ve never had to enter a code. I had no idea this was happening.
Howdy my hippie friends! Heh, “Incontinentia Buttocks said,
May 23, 2007 at 20:41
May I suggest that if “Kevinâ€? wants to set up shop as a resident S,N! troll he might consider getting himself a more distinctive moniker?”
Great point. Please refer to me in the future as KevinContinential Buttocks :). And for my schtick, I’ll do no more boob jokes. It will all be about the bum. I’ve got a million of them. Plus, I made the name up myself! Who would have thought of thre brilliant idea of putting a rear-end in their name? Other than you and me, of course. I may expand my name in the future to contain the word ‘poop’, which is also endlessly funny to the left (poop + butt = hilarity in the liberal world!), but until then, please continue to refer to me as KevinContinential Buttocks. TY in advance.
Hey, is this thread whining about Pamela from Atlas Shrugs being anti-breast feeding? Geez, you guys are grasping at straws, huh? It must be embarrassing to be a hippie.
I have to enter the code from time to time. For a while it was really bad, lately it’s only occasionally.
And Mikey, I also refuse to log in. Solidarity, brother!
“#
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 24, 2007 at 3:58
By entering a code for weeks, I mean entering a code every time I submitted a comment during those weeks.
Damn, and I thought everyone else was doing the same.
*Sniff*
”
It happens to me every time. Is the hippie server trying to send me a message? Regardless, I WILL NOT SUBMIT!
Heh, silly hippie server.
Oops. Looks like someone’s parents went to bed and left their youngster alone with the computer. Irresponsible parenting, if you ask me.
You did it for a good reason. So you could toss out the f-word multiple times, and look slightly less like an idiot for doing it. Good job! I hear there are a couple of Sex Pistols songs you can quote that swear alot too. You know, to use in the future.
Friggin’ hippies.
That’s not fair Marita. Your parents are tired! You can’t expect them to monitor your 24/7. Now drink your milk and go to bed!
That’s Doctor Marita to you, kiddo. How many times to I have to tell you to respect your betters?
Kevin, shouldn’t you be out mowing the lawn?
Grass is waiting, performance artiste!
Hey hippies, I told you about how the plant I work at (and designed btw!) spews an additional ~80k lbs/hr of CO2 thanks to an upgrade, right? Well if that’s not enough to get the pseudo-scientist’s panties in a bunch about how we are destroying the world with an extremely natural chemical reaction, check this out!
Yup, that whole 95 acre area used to be a forest. And any tree you see will be gone by the end of next week. Crushed. Killed. Destroyed. Sure, it’s worth a couple of hundred k, but I’ll be honest… I would have let them chop it for nothing! Just to tick off the hippies :). And I’m seriously thinking about not replanting the area as I do with all of the other land. Instead, I’m considering making a 50 acre pond. Just to p*ss off the hippies! Is that going too far?
Friggin’ hippies.
Hehe Marita. Girls can’t be doctors.
Oops, I forgot to add a link to my atrocities! Keep in mind, I’m killing these trees for you. So YOU can feel high and mighty. Plus, the taxes are probably paying some of your welfare checks! Get a job, friggin’ hippie!
Sorry for being late to the party, but I gotta tell y’all that Kevin’s blog is everything you could hope for and more.
And apparently train drivers can’t include links properly.
Whoever suggested you use a more distinctive screen name had a good point, you know. KonductorKevin, maybe?
Haha! You remember my profession, Marita! You will be completely uninterested to know that I indeed thought engineers only drove trains when I was a kid. Sadly, I don’t remember your occupation, but I do remember you, as well as the guy who’s happy that people are dead. You guys (wait, I’m from Louisiana!), er, yall are permanent fixtures here at the Sad site. I was beginning to miss you! *hugs*
Funkyboss, I unlinked my blog because I did not want to rightfully be called a ‘linkwhore’. But now that you’ve linked it for me, I’m in the clear! You guys should all visit. 3’s of people do every day! And funky is right, it’s “everything you could hope for and more.” But if you’re just interested in making fun of my barely better than Gavin’s pshopping, you probably want to go here instead.
And why the heck wasn’t my alternative banner to this site ever used? I gave it to you royalty free, Gavin! Frankly, I’m insulted.
Kevin, why haven’t you enlisted, you dirty fucking hippie?
That was a short “months and months”.
Anyways, shorter Kevin “Hippies killed my parents, and raped my dog.”
Makes me miss Gary.
The word “enlist” makes widdle Kevin disappear. It’s happened twice today.
Kevin, keep up your righteous struggle against the hippies. Me, I am relentless in bringing down Copperheads wherever they may be found. Which isn’t many places these days. Truthfully, I don’t see many hippies either, but maybe it’s different where you live.
Because, according to my profile, I’m 107 years old! You can’t make that stuff up. Quit swearing, or I’ll tell your mom. Also, since you are so big on declaring peace with the islamofascists, why haven’t you joined the peace corps? Yeah, I know, it’s a stupid question, much like yours.
Why would you even make such a hateful comment? Man, I loved that dog.
I usually spend six hours a night manning my roof-top “Anti-Bolsheviks” gun, cowalker. I’m also really excited about my new “Bullmoose Party Destroyer” tank…
Because, according to my profile, I’m 107 years old!
Quit dodging the question like you dodge military service, you dirty fucking hippie.
I don’t follow you, Cow. Are you suggesting there are few copperheads left? If so, come visit, and we’ll quickly fix that misconception you have with a single walk out to the woods (yes, we still have a few hundred acres of it, despite the current carnage).
Are you suggesting that there are no hippies left? Open your eyes! If you are unwilling to go to San Francisco, Oregon, Washington, Vermont or the Cape in Massachusetts, then maybe at least you are willing to vacation in Aspen? Hippies abound my friend. And sad as it is for me to say, their ideas are often given credence!
Look at Jane Fonda for example. Or Gavin. Cindy Sheehan! These hippie voices are often considered to be reasonable! It’s frightening.
Jk47… language! Can’t we keep this civil? I was being humorous, but I am in fact, slightly too old to serve in the military, although I don’t want to anyway. I prefer to pay taxes that foot the bill for them to kick *ss.
So I’ve told you my position. Tell me again why you haven’t joined the Peace Corps? I’m going to call you a hippie wannaben from now on. You don’t even practice the peace that you preach! Are you one of those hippie protesters who wear masks and beat people up or something?
Friggin’ hippies.
Rasp, rasp, raspetty rasp. Slurp.
Rasp, rasp, Rasputin.
I know what happened to him, but whatever happened to Boney M?
Haha! I’m suddenly getting hippie hits on my website! Don’t you guys realize that visiting my page generates dollars for the enemy, which will be used to make evil CO2 and create poisoned milk for school children? To be fair, I don’t actually have any advertisements, but if you hippies keep visiting, I will! And 50% of the income will be earmarked for evil.
Hehe, evil CO2. Silly hippies. Even the educated half of hippiedom must be forced to admit that carbon dioxide is not an enemy to the world, right?
I was being humorous, but I am in fact, slightly too old to serve in the military, although I don’t want to anyway.
Shorter Kevin: Kumbaya, my lord, Kumbaya.
Oh, and fuck, ass, shit, cocksucker, piss, twat, ass, cock, cunt, balls, bitch, motherfuck, fuck, tits, ass, shit.
You keep on being mean to them, them Hippies are going to find you and finish the job they started, Kevin. They don’t need to eat, they don’t need to sleep, they got DRUGS! And tye-dye shirts! They’re relentless. Revenge is their joint., and you, sir, are their munchies…
Holy cow, Abyss! As if we didn’t have enough white hippies, you’ve given us a huge pile of black hippies! That’s one thing about hippies that’s good – it’s not racial. People of any color can be silly hippies. But why aren’t Asian (previously ‘oriental’) people into hippiedom? I know the answer. Do you?
whatever happened to Boney M?
Who cares? Milli Vanilli replaced them.
I prefer to pay taxes that foot the bill for them to kick *ss.
What is this *ss kicking you speak of? If this is kicking *ss, I’d hate to see what losing a f*cking war would look like.
F*cking c*bag.
Jk47, you misunderstand me. I’m more of a ‘Kumbaya, *boom* my lord, *boom*, kubay whatever *boom* *boom* *boom*. You’ll get no huggy feely kisses from me. As the female doctor noted (hah! female, and a doctor! What would the islamofascists say?), I’m an engineer, and as such, when I see a problem, I try to fix it. Islamofascism is a problem. I want to fix it. The solution involves a lot of *boom*s. The horrible scourge of incredibly evil CO2 is NOT a problem, so you’ll get no help from me on that front. I will in fact be your nemesis.
Also, that does it. I’m telling your Mom. Expect to be evicted from your basement shortly.
JK47, you miss the performance troll’s alleged point.
It’s not the ( * )
It;s all about the SS.
“What is this *ss kicking you speak of? If this is kicking *ss, I’d hate to see what losing a f*cking war would look like.”
Firstly, thanks much for covering your potty mouth with asterisks! Sure, it doesn’t mean much to hippies, but to regular people like myself, it is greatly appreciated! On to the meat of your statement.
Be honest. You know how much the American military rocks, even if you hate to admit it. Without nukes, you MUST be aware that we could completely flatten Iraq, killing EVERYONE and toss the whole country to the Khurds. So, why don’t we kill 20 million Iraqis? Do you doubt we could? Because… We could. But we don’t. And the ‘why’ is because of democracy. We take unnecessary risks to secure democracy. Some of our greatest die to acheive this goal. Even hippies should respect this ideal.
Don’t get me wrong (but I’m sure you will), democracy is not the end all be all. We learned that when Palestine elected HAMAS in record numbers. But even THIS example of democracy is a bonus. Now, when we are forced to obliterate palestinians, at least we know that they openly support evil scumbags.
Good point, registered and trademarked iftethunderdon’tgetcha! Refer to me in a way that makes me look Nazziesque! It’s weak from a debating point of view, but I’ll bet there are plenty here who will think it’s a brilliant *zing*.
Other good ideas:
^Continue to ignore what I’m saying, and call me Hitler, or Mussolini.
^Say something about hatespeech.
^Mention that corporations are evil, and that I work for one!
You have a myriad of ways of avoiding points. Use them, hippie!
I’m very popular tonight.
mmmmm…. pie.
Ok I guess I’m out of here for the night. But I’ll be here all week! It’s because of something we in the working world call a ‘vacation’. It’s complicated, but basically it means that when someone works for a living, their evil corporation gives them a few weeks off. To further their evilness or something.
I’m using mine to make extra CO2 to tick off the hippies! Did you see the trees I’m killing? You can help me, hippies, if you’ll only breathe out. Also, turn on your parent’s air conditioner, but don’t forget to turn it off before they get home! I don’t want to get blamed for getting you guys kicked out of your basements!
‘Night.
Kevin’s a problem solver.
Problem: grass really long
Solution: ???
“Be honest. You know how much the American military rocks, even if you hate to admit it. Without nukes, you MUST be aware that we could completely flatten Iraq, killing EVERYONE and toss the whole country to the Khurds. So, why don’t we kill 20 million Iraqis? Do you doubt we could? Because… We could. But we don’t. And the ‘why’ is because of democracy. We take unnecessary risks to secure democracy. Some of our greatest die to acheive this goal. Even hippies should respect this ideal.”
You are Mark ‘kill ’em all’ and I claim my $5.
Mark Steyn,
that is
“Kevin’s a problem solver.
Problem: grass really long
Solution: ???”
Solution: Mow. It’s CO2 centric! A nice lawn, and angry hippies. What more could you ask for?
Lobbey, I don’t understand your $5 claim, but I’ll pay it if I owe it. It’s the conservative/libertarian way. Send me a bill.
Kevin, how’s your war going? How’s that war of terror thing working out for y’all?
Yahoo News headline: “Kosovo to honor Bill Clinton with statue”
Hmm, I wonder what the chances are of Iraq so honoring Bush Jr. or Dick “Cakewalk” Cheney. (Slim? None?)
You know, I was getting really annoyed at Kevin, but then I have to take a step back and remember, Trolls don’t want reason, they’re just here to annoy.
So tomorrow, I’m going to donate money to both Planned Parenthood AND the ACLU. Just to annoy the fascists. See if I can’t get an abortion named after me…
My suggestion for Kevin’s pietag would be;
Need go walkies! Need go walkies! Need go walkies!
Might get annoying tho. I don’t use pietags. I don’t like pie, except fresh real key lime.
Dostoevsky had Kevin’s number:
I smiled contemptuously and walked up and down the other side of the room, opposite the sofa, from the table to the stove and back again. I tried my very utmost to show them that I could do without them, and yet I purposely made a noise with my boots, thumping with my heels. But it was all in vain. They paid no attention. I had the patience to walk up and down in front of them from eight o’clock till eleven, in the same place, from the table to the stove and back again. “I walk up and down to please myself and no one can prevent me.” The waiter who came into the room stopped, from time to time, to look at me. I was somewhat giddy from turning round so often; at moments it seemed to me that I was in delirium. During those three hours I was three times soaked with sweat and dry again. At times, with an intense, acute pang I was stabbed to the heart by the thought that ten years, twenty years, forty years would pass, and that even in forty years I would remember with loathing and humiliation those filthiest, most ludicrous, and most awful moments of my life. No one could have gone out of his way to degrade himself more shamelessly, and I fully realised it, fully, and yet I went on pacing up and down from the table to the stove. “Oh, if you only knew what thoughts and feelings I am capable of, how cultured I am!” I thought at moments, mentally addressing the sofa on which my enemies were sitting. But my enemies behaved as though I were not in the room. Once–only once– they turned towards me, just when Zverkov was talking about Shakespeare, and I suddenly gave a contemptuous laugh. I laughed in such an affected and disgusting way that they all at once broke off their conversation, and silently and gravely for two minutes watched me walking up and down from the table to the stove, TAKING NO NOTICE OF THEM. But nothing came of it: they said nothing, and two minutes later they ceased to notice me again. It struck eleven.
Are you suggesting that there are no hippies left? Open your eyes! If you are unwilling to go to San Francisco, Oregon, Washington, Vermont or the Cape in Massachusetts, then maybe at least you are willing to vacation in Aspen? Hippies abound my friend. And sad as it is for me to say, their ideas are often given credence!
Look at Jane Fonda for example. Or Gavin. Cindy Sheehan! These hippie voices are often considered to be reasonable! It’s frightening.
And thus we get to his underlying fear of any voice that offers different views than his own, indeed, his fear of much of the country itself.
Kevin’s brave stand against the hippie hordes has inspired me to start my own endeavor. I am now on guard against the following:
*Saracen Pigs
*Spartan Dogs
*Roman Cows
*Russian Snakes
*Spanish Flys
*Anglo-Saxon Huns
Now, if you excuse me, I have to go and take the next few days to trim the hedge on my front lawn.
Later, friggin’ SPSDRCRSSFA-SHs!
Not great! The hippie half of America is openly supporting our enemies! Nevertheless, we’ll continue to fight for you. It’s your perogative to be an idiot. You’re American!
4 Bush statues already exist in Khurdistan Iraq. There, the day wasn’t wasted, weiku! You’ve learned something.
Well, yeah he did, but not with THAT ridiculous quote. He had my number when he said “I think my liver hurts.” No need to overcomplicate things, Mr. Under. That one line is all that’s needed. And it’s from a book called ‘The Idiot!’ Small minds should have a field day with that.
Ps. Clint, I hate those danged Rooskie snakes too! But can’t you get your parents to trim the hedges? After all, they own the house…
/me takes a bow. Yes, I am the parody-troll, Kevin.
*grin* Ya silly hippies.
Glad you are no longer annoyed! But you might want to think twice about sending a check to the ACLU to annoy fascists. They LOVE that group. Perhaps you should send that check to A.N.S.W.E.R.? That’s a group that not only fascists hate, but all people left of Chairman Mao hate as well. They probably share your ideals too, so it’s win-win!
As for sending cash to help Planned Parenthood kill children, go for it! Most of them (‘cept ours) are kind of annoying anyway. Better pray that there is no God though! Paying for the murdering of children would be a tough one to ‘splain away on judgement day :).
Ooh, Mikey said some serious stuff that I missed last night.
Sheesh, it’s not that you “don’t want to imprison them all” that I have a problem with, it’s that you b*tch and moan about every single one we catch, and whine about how horribly we are treating these incarcerated terrorists in Gitmo, or Abu Ghraib, etc. How about being on America’s side in a time of war, hippie?
And… there are no hippies!?!? Don’t be ridiculous. Go to any protest, and you will see flocks of the creatures. And those of you who were hippies, are now ‘aging hippies’. Still hippies, just old ones. Here’s a website with thousands of pictures of your ‘nonexistent’ hippies. So quit denying it, hippie. I’ve got proof.
And I stand by my statements that most hippies (i.e. liberals) don’t have jobs. It stands to reason, since liberals love to tax people who are not themselves. If they worked, they might have to actually pay some of those taxes they force upon others. And it would just be unhippielike to pay for the resources you use.
You guys really like to talk about pie, huh? Is that a hippie thing?
And with a little script change, Kevin’s hunger for pie magically becomes a simple declaration of the truth about him.
So go ahead, troll away, little Kevvie. ‘Cause I know your dirty little secret. Pie lover.
I still don’t get the infatuation with pie here. Is it a reference to that kiddie movie where the guy has sex with a pie?
MMmmmm… Pie!
I now declare this thread Kevinned.
Thenkyew.
*royal wave*
How is the Bush-Cheney war going? and What are the chances the Iraqis will erect a statue for Bush Jr. or Cakewalk Cheney as is being done for Bill Clinton in Kosovo?
Kevin: “Not great! The hippie half of America is openly supporting our enemies! Nevertheless, we’ll continue to fight for you. 4 Bush statues already exist in Khurdistan.”
Umm, Kevin, Kurdistan isn’t the same as Iraq.* I think I see why your war is not going great. Four years since the occupation, and people like you still have no clue what “Iraq” even is. I hesitate to even ask who you think “our” enemies are, or why you haven’t volunteered. Aren’t you the guy who mows lawns for a living?
* “4 Bush statues in Khurdistan” [sic]? Cite your source. Sounds like more b.s., unless Karen Hughes had them installed as part of her propaganda work.
Kevin Said-“I think my liver hurts.� He says while grabbing his head & squeezing out a fart that sounds like sieg heil.
Perhaps she really meant to say “Gotta crush this plaque on humanity” and she’s imitating flossing?
How do you reconcile the fact that what Leopold is saying is the truth with your immature comment that nothing he says should be taken at face value?
Are you an idiot?
How do you reconcile the fact that what Leopold is saying is the truth with your immature comment that nothing he says should be taken at face value?
The position is “Jason Leopold is best ignored because of a history of being full of shit” not “Jason Leopold can never say the truth”. And indeed, he has a history of being full of shit, Jason Leopold.
HOLY FUCK I GOT PREVIEW.
you are an ignorant fucking piece of shit. Leopold has a history of being full of shit? Please. You’re an asshole. For the sake of the country it is my sincere hope you get cancer, suffer through it for a long time, then die.
You don’t know Leopold and yet you judge the man.
You don’t know Leopold and yet you judge the man.
Why yes, yes I do. I dunno the president either, so I guess I have a lot of unjustified carping to regret there. Tragic really.
Y’know, these seem like Google-Alert-driven comments. Let’s test.
Jason Leopold is a shit reporter. Interesting that the Karl Rove stuff keeps disappearing from his Wikipedia entry.