The Helping, Pt. Eleventy-Hundred
That bright object in the sky seems to have risen again today, so there must be something silly going on over at Blogs For Bush.
Above: B4B guest-blogger Princella Smith
President Stands Firm on Mission in Iraq
By Princella Smith at 11:32 AMGood morning all,
I hope that everyone took time out of their busy schedule to listen to our Commander-in-Chief as he announced a revised plan for rebuilding Iraq.
The hangover is like a herd of iron-shod bison, thank you. Suggestion for next speech: No more ‘drink nine times’ rule for the phrase, “on September the 11th…”
But hold on a second: George W. Bush is the President, not the Commander-in-Chief, of the United States. That is, to civilians, as opposed to military personnel, he is in no respect ‘our Commander-in-Chief.’ I wish this small distinction between the position of the military as set out in the Constitution, and what appears to be a cheerful acceptance of the notion of political autarchy — of the notion that a president ought to ‘command’ the country — could be cleared up once and for all, because its endless, seemingly reflexive recurrence in Republican discourse can make people’s headaches really throb when they have a hangover. I’m just saying.
(Conservatives: Next time you find yourself typing this, stop and slowly repeat the phrase, “President Hillary Clinton.” Imagine the theme from Psycho blaring from blue-and-white UN gunships as they drop gay paratroopers into a Focus on the Family rally. Problem solved, no?)
[…]
Historians and ex-military officials can tell you that seldom if in any point in history has a war been executed without an alteration in plans or even a change in course. Those who feel that there should be an immediate pull-out, withdrawal, retreat, or whatever language they choose to use have a right to feel that way, but what I do not understand is their complete disregard for experienced military officers and soldiers who have served in Iraq and continue to persist that the mission must be completed in order to have success.
We have looked and looked, but we’ve never been able to find out the name of the Rump-Diddly-Ah-Dah theme, well known to all, for which a sound clip must exist on the Internet. We will continue to look.
In the meantime, click here with ‘new tab’ or ‘new window.’
With Iraq Speech, Bush to Pull Away From His Generals
By Michael Abramowitz, Robin Wright and Thomas E. Ricks
Washington Post Staff Writers
Wednesday, January 10, 2007; Page A01[…]
Pentagon insiders say members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff have long opposed the increase in troops and are only grudgingly going along with the plan because they have been promised that the military escalation will be matched by renewed political and economic efforts in Iraq. Gen. John P. Abizaid, the outgoing head of Central Command, said less than two months ago that adding U.S. troops was not the answer for Iraq.
The Post story begins by saying that Bush is now “doing something he has avoided since the invasion of Iraq in March 2003: ordering his top military brass to take action they initially resisted and advised against.” That’s true; Rumsfeld used to just fire any general who complained. Back to Princella:
Conclusively, I must say that I appreciate you, Mr. President: a man who stands for what he believes in and who does not wage his military decisions based on a poll. That above all will be HIS legacy. Truth is OUR destiny.
We’re trying to help, truly we are.
Wait, you mean the “shave and a haircut: two bits” theme?
…the mission must be completed in order to have success.
I got nuthin’.
Truth is OUR destiny.
Uh, do what now?
It makes you wonder what the Hell these servile authoritarians mean when they advocate “spreading democracy” because a government that listens and is accountable to its people clearly isn’t it.
Completed. Would that be anything like, oh, say, “accomplished”? Does anyone know of any missions that have been accomplished so far? Hmm.
Did Princella enlist? Is that why GWB is her Commander in Chief? As for that theme, Art Carney had a novelty Christmas song in the ’50s called “All I Want for Christmas is a Doo-dally Boop” with the refrain, “Dum-diddally-dah-dah, doo-dally boop!” I hear it everytime Dear Leader walks on stage…
Why is Princella not at the recruiting office as we speak?
imagine the theme from Psycho blaring from blue-and-white UN gunships as they drop gay paratroopers into a Focus on the Family rally
I’d rather they be gay French paratroopers, and I’d prefer to hear them sing YMCA, but otherwise I’m pretty much down with it. I’d keep Ted Haggard away though, because otherwise the whole scene might get way out of hand. “Ted, put the whipped cream down!”
George W. Bush is not my Commander-in-Chief. He’s my Receiver-of-Ambassadors-and-Other-Public-Ministers.
We have looked and looked, but we’ve never been able to find out the name of the Rump-Diddly-Ah-Dah theme, well known to all, for which a sound clip must exist on the Internet. We will continue to look.
Do you mean “Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits?”
Commander Bunnypants, Commander Codpiece. These seem fitting.
Of course, so does the First AWOL Cokehead.
I think we should give B4B credit for accuracy for a change. “the mission must be completed in order to have success.” Even if they had to resort to tautology to do it.
Such terrible spelling, Princella! Tsk tsk! Here, let me fix it for you:
a revised set of lies for keeping the war in Iraq going.
Conclusively, I must say that I appreciate you, Mr. President
Yep, that’s pretty conclusive.
The 10% solution. Currently, approximately 200,000 soldiers fight for ‘democracy’ in Iraq [roughly US troops + foriegn troops + paid mercenaries (i.e. Blackwater)]. So, the President’s solution is to add 10% more (20,000 troops). Even assuming these extra troops perform 100% efficient, things will merely get 10% better in Iraq. Will 10% be worth the continuing carnage of American soldiers? Don’t look to the Democrats for help. They will sit idly by as they did when the gov’t suspended habeas corpus, opened mail, banned the novel “America Deceived” from Amazon, stole private lands, conducted illegal wire-taps and continues wars in the Middle East based on a false-flag event known as 9/11. If the Democrats cannot stop the current 10% increase in this war, then they will never stop 100% of this war.
Only remaining link (until the gov’t pulls the novel off Google Books):
America Deceived (book)
Gotta hand it to Sal. His spams tend to be at least somewhat relavant to the topic at hand…
mikey
It makes you wonder what the Hell these servile authoritarians mean when they advocate “spreading democracy� because a government that listens and is accountable to its people clearly isn’t it.
For efficiency and the convenience of their megacorporate masters, these servile authoritarians construe Spreading Democracy(tm) as something best done by mechanical combines. So they want Democracy to be “harvested”, slaughtered, ground fine, and mixed into a slurry for broadcasting in a computer-designed, pre-set pattern over the parched, nutrient-deficient soils of Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Venezuela, etc. Remember Paine’s line about how “The tree of liberty must occasionally be watered with the blood of patriots”?
But does she appreciate that some parts of the administration she so appreciates have come to realize that they have no credibility among the people? To wit, this gem from MSNBC’s story on the Canadian “spy coins” announced to have been tracking defense contractors (emphasis added):
I giggled over this for a good long while.
Truth is OUR destiny.
Children are our future. America can, must and will blow up the moon.
What made me howl was the first comment in response, congratulating Princella on her “well-written” piece about military leaders “persisting” that the course must be stayed, and her conclusive appreciation of the President. I think we should all PayPal Princella a crapload of money to support her. She may end up being our best spokesperson EVAR.
Holy crap, B4B is really going the extra wingnut mile on the occasion of Bush’s drowning in flop sweat–oh, I mean televised speech. And if you read some of the posts over there in the voice of my namesake (while also throwing in some good Blackmanisms like, “I’m an obtuse man, so I’ll try to be oblique” and “Educate yourself to THIS reality!”), they take on an extra-hilarious quality.
America can, must and will blow up the moon.
Of course. How else can we bring an end to the regime of that frightening, brutal dictator Saddam Moonsein and bring democracy, freedom and liberty to the oppressed peoples of the moon? Moonsein’s evil half-brother, Vacuum Ali has been depriving his people of oxygen for millenia. We must kill them until they have elections…
mikey
Will no one rid me of these troublesome moonbats?
Of course, Commander Bunnypants. We will blow up the moon!
Another no-brained nobody who doesn’t let facts get in the way.
Princella – who names their kid that? God, she was doomed before she had legs.
I believe the robots are our future. Program them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.
So wait…is Princella Smith Mark Noonan’s Black Friend?
I do like black people! It just took a white one to prove it to me.
“Truth is OUR destiny.”
And triteness is our signature.
And things go better with Coke.
And it’s baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.
Christ on a cracker, will these people ever wake up?
No, slappy slogans suffice. Simian simpletons synchronize, set synergy.
Sucks.
Of course. How else can we bring an end to the regime of that frightening, brutal dictator Saddam Moonsein and bring democracy, freedom and liberty to the oppressed peoples of the moon? Moonsein’s evil half-brother, Vacuum Ali has been depriving his people of oxygen for millenia. We must kill them until they have elections…
Mwahahaha! I love you, Mikey.
well, we gotta keep our foot in the door long enough for the oil companies to get their contracts bilking Iraq of its petroleum signed, and their private armies and drilling compounds set up….. why don’t people understand that? I mean, how could the poor oil companies receive their administration-given global welfare if the country WASN’T in turmoil? someone might be organized enough to protest, otherwise….
“a man who stands for what he believes in…”
Damme, I like that. I also like:
“a man who speaks what he is saying”
“a man who moves in the direction in which he is walking”
“a man who yells the very thing he is shouting”
“a man who lubricates the very thing on which he pours oil”
“a man who punches himself in the nose with the very hand with which
he administers a blow to his nasal region”
God, it’s come to this. Somebody stop me.
Stop you now, Mr. Wonderful? But you’re on a roll!
“With ham and cheese, while you’re rolling”
Anne Laurie –
um, it was actually Thomas Jefferson, not Thomas Paine, who wrote that about the tree of liberty having to be refreshed with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Did someone say “gay paratroopers”?
Yes. Also known as the Mauve Berets.
“Well groomed men drop from the air,
Sharply dressed, terrific hair,
Though they seem a trifle gay
They proudly wear the Mauve Beret”.
*glee*
Had to comment over there, but it will probably be BALETED, so here:
“(quote)I hope that everyone took time out of their busy schedule to listen to our Commander-in-Chief(quote)
Uh, unless you’re in the military he’s not our CinC.
He’s Commander in Chief of the military, not the country.
Of course for submissive authoritarian personalities, in need of a messianic father figure, the distinction is meaningless.
Unfortunately, your “Dad” is soon to become one of the most loathed EX-presidents in our nations history.
The Reality Based Community is now BACK in charge. The sooner you get used to it the better.
It’s over