Newsflash: Our President is Stupid
Why do we elitist snobs on the left keep calling President Bush stupid? It may be because he keeps saying incredibly stupid things. Witness:
Addressing the conflict rocking Iraq, he said recent violence is part of an al-Qaida plot to goad Iraqi factions into repeated attacks and counterattacks.
“No question it’s tough, no question about it,� Bush said at a news conference with Estonian President Toomas Hendrik Ilves. “There’s a lot of sectarian violence taking place, fomented in my opinion because of the attacks by al-Qaida causing people to seek reprisal.�
Bush also blamed al-Qaeda for Britney Spears’ impending divorce.
“I think terrorists convinced K-Fed to threaten to release that sex tape,” said the president.
Above: Britney and K-Fed, two more victims of al-Qaeda’s scheming.
Bush, who travels to Jordan later in the week for a summit with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, said the latest cycle of violence does not represent a new era in Iraq. The country is reeling from the deadliest week of sectarian fighting since the war began in March 2003.
“We’ve been in this phase for a while,� Bush said.
That would be the “mission accomplished” phase, I take it?
Bush said he will ask al-Maliki to explain his plan for quelling the violence.
“The Maliki government is going to have to deal with that violence and we want to help them do so,� the president said. “It’s in our interest that we succeed.�
“I’ve heard some voices who say that it’s in our interest that we fail,” added Bush. “I’ve heard others say it’s in my interest to slam down that bottle of scotch over there.”
Directly seeking help from Iran and Syria with Iraq, as part of new, aggressive diplomacy throughout the region, is expected to be among the recommendations of the Baker-Hamilton group.
But Bush continued to express his administration’s reluctance to talk with two nations it regards as pariah states working to destabilize the Middle East.
Iran, the top U.S. rival in the region, has reached out to Iraq and Syria in recent days — an attempt viewed as a bid to assert its role as a powerbroker in Iraq.
Bush said Iraq is a sovereign nation, free to meet with its neighbors. “If that’s what they think they ought to do, that’s fine,� he said. “One thing Iraq would like to see is for the Iranians to leave them alone.�
“Iraq is a sovereign nation, which means that its interests are the interests I want it to have,” said Bush.
An issue of high concern in central and eastern European countries is their lack of participation in a U.S. visa waiver program that allows business travelers and tourists to enter the U.S. for months using only a passport. Ilves said it is something his country “constantly has been raising� with the United States.
Bush promised to try to convince Congress to add more countries, like Estonia, to the program by adding new security elements to overcome wariness in the aftermath of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.
“It’s in our nation’s interest that people be able to come and visit,� the president said.
“It’s also in our nation’s interest that we succeed,” said Bush. “Have I mentioned that one yet?”
On Iraq, Jordan’s King Abdullah, who is hosting al-Maliki’s meeting with Bush, has warned that unless bold steps are taken urgently, the new year could dawn with three civil wars in the Mideast — with one in Iraq added to those in Lebanon and between the Palestinians and Israelis.
But Bush, dodging a direct answer of whether civil war exists or not, tied the three conflicts together in a different way. He said that recent strife in Lebanon and the heated up Israeli-Palestinian dispute are, like Iraq, the result of extremists trying to choke off democratic progress.
Uh, G-Dubs? You realize that Palestinian extremists came to power because of the democratic process, right? Are you really this stupid? Are you gonna make me start the impeachment drumbeat again?
“When you see a young democracy beginning to emerge in the Middle East, the extremists try to defeat its emergence,� Bush said. “Extremists attack because they can’t stand the thought of a democracy. And the same thing is happening in Iraq.�
“When extremists see the ice cream man sellin’ ice cream to kids, they have to go and blow up the ice cream truck because they can’t stand the thought of kids with ice cream,” added Bush.
Where is The Poor Man Institute? The site has been down for at least two days.
In the photo, Britney and Kevin’s child appears to be healthy and well-cared for.
Actually, we don’t attack because we hate democracy, or the United State, or freedom, or anything like that. It’s completely personal: we hate George Bush. If he’d step down and go back to Kennebunkport, or even back to his ranch to play cowboy, we’d lay down our arms in a minute. Peace would sweep the Middle East. But for now, we have to keep up the pressure solely to make George Bush look bad, because after all, everything’s about him. And as our neighbors would say, he’s such a putz!
“There’s a lot of sectarian violence taking place, fomented in my opinion because of the attacks by al-Qaida causing people to seek reprisal.â€?
I thought it was because they were trying to influence my legislative district race. Oh, I guess that’s so three weeks ago.
Silly. When extremists are democratically elected, they are proving that they hate democracy by disagreeing with the Glorious Leader about how much American ass is required to be kissed. These democratically-elected extremists think that they should be able to actually decide the fate of their own people. Obviously that’s just not possible. Thereby proving that they hate democracy.
Holy sh*t. I made myself sick just typing that.
I keep forgetting that I am not watching a spoof comedy. I start to laugh at the joke and then I remember, HE IS THE PRESIDENT!! and choke.
Holy Fuck!
Holy Fuck!
Holy Fuck!
I thought it was because they were trying to influence my legislative district race. Oh, I guess that’s so three weeks ago.
Yes, that was 3 weeks ago. Now, the terraists are fomenting this ‘new phase’ of the insurgency to show their support for their/our new leaders in Congress.
But Bush continued to express his administration’s reluctance to talk with two nations it regards as pariah states working to destabilize the Middle East.
According to sophomore George Bush, attempts by uncool kids to sit at the cool kids’ table during second lunch period are unacceptable. “They’re, like, rude and they smell funny,” said Bush, “Their type just destroys our school spirit.”
Bush then playfully tossed a handful of chicken ala king at his friend Turdblossom, made several loud farting noises, and went out to the parking lot for a quick snort before fifth period. “Leave the trays,” he said to his friends. “Somebody else will take care of them.”
Where is The Poor Man Institute? The site has been down for at least two days.
They’re off on a bender with the Preview Button.
“When you see a young democracy beginning to emerge in the Middle East, the extremists try to defeat its emergence
Extremists. Defeating Emergences since 1095.
Oh sure, there have been a few victorious emergences since the first crusade, but sometimes shit emerges before we have a chance to defeat it. That whole french revolution thing really flummoxed us. But know this: If you’re thinking about emerging, we’re watching, and the chances of you emerging victoriously are sadly, low.
Mind you, we have no problem with “emergencies”. Emergencies may proceed when necessary without our defeating them. Just dial 9/11.
If you say it enough times, “emerging” is a funny word…
mikey
sometimes shit emerges before we have a chance to defeat it
Now there’s a mental image I didn’t particularly need this morning.
Sorry, Mort. Mayhaps you can defeat the emergence of the image?
mikey
I think I understand on an intellectual level that he must be refering to “The Job” being tough for our troops. I can’t believe his handlers would let him appear callous enough to tell the Iraqi people “it’s tough” that you’re being blown up. But it could just be the first moment of honesty from a lame duck Prez. whose lost the will to even lie. “There are some who say the Iraqi people just want us out of their country. Well to them I say that’s tough.”
The rest is just whining. Some one at some point had to have told this guy that this would be Al Quida’s strategy, that this is how forth gen war works. Now he’s complaining that he’s blundered right into it and somehow the enemy strategy is working.
Cpl. Chron, you seem to have forgotten that presidentin’ is hard work.
I find it at once remarkable and disturbing that our president would continue to utter such patent nonsense as “When you see a young democracy beginning to emerge in the Middle East, the extremists try to defeat its emergence. Extremists attack because they can’t stand the thought of a democracy. And the same thing is happening in Iraq.â€?
Even small children understand that this is not true. Yet, here is our president speakng before the assembled media of the entire world, uttering such dimwitted nonsense.
Is there any other possible conclusion than that our president is too stupid to hold his office? I have never been so embarassed to be an American, and I hang my head in shame that, out of 193 recognized countries on Planet Earth, we have the dumbest leader of them all.
Speaking of painfully stupid people:
Professional moron Dennis Prager argues that Congressman Ellis may not take the oath on the Koran, because America decides what Congressmen use to take the oath, and that’s the Bible.
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?print=yes&id=18217
Apparently the Constitution hates American. Attention submoronic dipshit: Article VI, motherfucker. Do you read it?
“The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the members of the several state legislatures, and all executive and judicial officers, both of the United States and of the several states, shall be bound by oath or affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.”
Oh I love the taste of conservative apostasy in the morning, it’s the taste of liberal victory.
May I direct all readers to this delicious entray of conservative apostasy, with a little side order of disgust on top. Really, the piece could have been written by Digby or Atrios but no it is from some old blue blood conservative and former trustee of National Review Austin W Bramwell. Kinda makes you wonder how polite the old vampire William F Buckley was in his resignation request…
http://www.amconmag.com/2006/2006_11_20/cover.html
A little sampling to wet your appetite.
“But “conservatismâ€? has no mystical essence. Rather than a magisterium handed down from apostolic times, it is an ideology whose contours are largely arbitrary and accidental. By ideology, I mean precisely what Orwell depicted in 1984. I do not mean, of course, that conservatism is totalitarian. Taken as prophecy, 1984 has little merit. Taken as a description of the world we actually live in, however, it is indispensable. 1984 reveals not the horrors of the future but the quotidian realities of ideology in mass democracy. Conservatism exemplifies them all.
Oh yeah. He then goes on in 4 points to show how modern American conservatism has become a mindless power seeking ideology.
Enjoy.
“If that’s what they think they ought to do, that’s fine,� he said. “One thing Iraq would like to see is for the Iranians to leave them alone.�
That’s right George. One thing Iraqis really hate is foriegners fomenting chaos, waging war, and trying to run things in their country.
You know, every now and then I forget just how stupid this guy is.
Derelict and RobW,
It’s been years since my jaw dropped in response to Dubya’s stupidity. It’s just a given and it no longer surprises or shocks. What continues to appall me, however, is how blithely the “assembled media of the entire world” allows him to continue “uttering such dimwitted nonsense” without calling him on it. Or pointing out its pure ridiculousness. Or even asking a fucking question. That’s what gets me.
Or asking a question, say, “What about an exit strategy?” and the answer being “Our exit strategy is to support the goals and aspirations of the iraqi people, never playing the blame game, if you’re going to put words in my mouth, oh, look over there – a kitty!!”
Pisses me off. If they aren’t going to answer the questions in an interview, the least the interviewer could do is say “excuse me sir, but that is not an answer to the question that I asked. Do you refuse to answer my question? If so, why?” It’s not that bloody hard…
mikey
SM–I knew Dubya was a dunce going into the 2000 election. It was painfully apparent during the campaign. However, we were assured he would be surrounded by really smart grownups who would help him along.
Instead, the entire gang turns out to be 9-year-olds without the same level of awareness as your average third-grade class. They’re just a stupid and twice as venal as Dubya.
And the whole time we have been subjected to a right-wing cheering section doing a reprise of Fredo in Godfather II–“I’m smart, Mikey!!! Not dumb like Pop says. I’m SMART!!“
Yeah. Actually, though, I don’t think the members of the Bush Gang are as dumb as Da Boss — in part because that may be impossible. Venal? Oh my yes. I think they’ve created a perfect storm by pairing the ultimate shit-for-brains frontman with the ultimate greedheads on backup. Or, to continue the Godfather analogies, it’s like Fredo becoming Don through the machinations of Moe Green, Bruno Tattaglia and Virgil Sollozzo. Except those guys would have offed the figurehead long ago . . .
Does anyone besides me think that al-Maliki is not going to attend this ‘summit’ in Jordan?
If he does, he had better bring his entire family and seek asylum. Because al-Sadr has said he should not go.
To me, that says if he does go, he will not be safe even in the Green Zone. Because the so-called Iraqi army and the so-called Baghdad police are mostly all loyal to al-Sadr.
I think he will not go. After all, soon the airport in Baghdad will be pretty much closed all the time, due to ‘security reasons.’ If I were al-Maliki, I would grab at this excuse not to meet with Dubya. Hell, I’m not al-Maliki, and I would grab at any excuse not to meet Dubya.
How stupid is the Preznit going to look then? What if they gave a summit and nobody came?
Shorter Austin Bramwell: I couldn’t tell you guys this before because I was on the team, but man the cons sold us some bullshit.