Move Over, Kaye Grogan
Kaye Grogan has been rocking the rubber cement a little too hard since the election.
Above: That stuff is even worse for you than
snorting teh raw Kool-Aid powder, Kaye.
You’re invited . . . to the hypothetical baptism of Congress
[…]
And there also seems to be a black cloud hovering over the head of Jack Murtha. But don’t worry the Democrats don’t play by the same rules. And why should they when they have been given a pass as progressives — by progressives?
The only trouble with all of this progressing — the progressing has taken on a whole new meaning.
If you see a lot of people walking around noseless don’t be too surprised as a lot of people bit their noses off to spite their faces, when they voted in the midterm elections.
It really makes a lot of sense to vote for a change of guards with the same old guards right?
Wuh? Buh? Don’t worry though, just when things seem the murkiest, here comes Lexington Herald-Ledger columnist Jenean Mcbrearty to splash you in the face with some cold, clean stupidity:
Hippies still trying to ruin the country
By Jenean Mcbrearty
CONTRIBUTING COLUMNISTAmerica won’t win another war until the 1960s flower children are pushing up petunias.
Radicalized, the flower children morphed into lefty loonies who now masquerade as social progressives.
No matter what they rename themselves, however, their agenda hasn’t changed.
They still want utopia, and it wouldn’t be worth mentioning except that their naivete has aged into a persistent denial of reality that may have devastating consequences.
For example, consider their continued belief that America’s armed forces are neo-Nazi stormtroopers who delight in burning babies to further the aims of imperialistic corporations.
Such nonsense, now treated as legitimate by the left-leaning media, denigrates the patriotic values and sincerity of half the nation. It undermines the war effort, insults the dead and the survivors of battle and their families, and supports the aims of the enemy. Translated into immigration or national defense policy, it is an invitation to the world to destroy our country.
Who’s Jenean Mcbrearty?
The Story of School Behaving Badly
I started this blog because there are others out there like me. I just don’t know where they are. They are people who have been badly served by schools as employers and teachers – mostly ultra-Liberal teachers and administrators who have corrupted the idea of the 1st Amendment.
Here’s my quick and dirty story.
I was hired by Bluegrass Coimmunity College to teach political science. Even before I…
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Wow. She had me at “burning babies.”
The utopianism of the left is just pathetic. All this time and energy they’ve wasted the past five years, going around the world promoting their ideals of “freedom” and “democracy” in the Middle East, with no regard for the facts on the ground or the advice of experts and realists. All because their liberal leader George Bush told them so. Pathetic.
You tell ’em, Jenean!
meOW, KG!
For example, consider their continued belief that America’s armed forces are neo-Nazi stormtroopers who delight in burning babies to further the aims of imperialistic corporations.
Hmmm, that’s odd. I don’t know anyone who believes this. I’ve never MET anyone who beieves this. I’ve never READ anything by someone who believes this. I’ve met people who believe it to be true, but nobody who actually thinks this way about america’s armed forces. If she’ going to state as fact that an entire generation of amercan citizens believes that “america’s armed forces are neo-nazi storm troopers who delight in burning babies”, shouldn’t she be reqired to show us at least one person who actually has those beliefs? Just seems wrong.
Seems like I could then write an article stating as fact that ALL republicans wear underpants made of jello. Under the Jenean rule, I would have to produce no evidence that this is in fact true, and could simply proceed as if it was proven, accepted fact. It’s a crappy rule, jenean…
mikey
Jenean apparently likes it Quick n Dirty.
oh that’s so wrong. But at least it wasn’t Kaye.
I don’t care what you think, Gavin, but I think it’s nice of the institution to still let Kaye play with her computer between therapy and eletroshock treatments.
How many wars have we HAD since Vietnam? The only two I can think of at the moment is Gulf War 1 and Kosovo, and I think those two went pretty well for us.
Shorter Jenean: If you ignore all those times we have won, we’ve lost every single conflict sine Vietnam; and it’s all the hippies’ fault!
…I actually kinda want to hear how she thinks teachers have corrupted the first amendment. That should be fun.
Wow, I need to introduce Jenean to my mother. They’d get along just swimmingly.
(Sadly, No! I’m not joking.)
1 word.. wow
Wow…there are about 6 different kinds of crazy in that Jenean blog. I couldn’t even make it through her column.
America won’t win another war until the 1960s flower children are pushing up petunias.
Assume for a moment that this is true. Doesn’t it then necessarily follow that we should not actually be fighting any wars, since they will all be obviously unwinnable for at least another generation? It doesn’t make any sense to start a war if it is impossible to win it.
Could this attitude from a Republican be fairly described as defeatism? Can I call her a “defeatican?”
Look, when President Jenna Bush sends the troops back to Iraq to finish what daddy started in 2033, Jenean’s daughter will be lambasting the hippies for ruining it from their wheelchairs. And when President George Bush III in 2058 sends the troops again back to Iraq (to solve the problems caused by the hippies foiling his aunt) Jenean’s granddaughter will claim that the ghosts of the hippies have ruined everything.
Liberal teachers and administrators have corrupted not only the First Amendment but the very idea of the First Amendment by blatantly saying things that are not the things that I say when I’m exercising my First Amendment rights. Not only that but on occasion they have dared to out-and-out disagree with some of the things that I’ve said when I was exercising my First Amendment rights, which is a clear corruption of the First Amendment. And moreover those same teachers but especially the administrators have corrupted the First Amendment by claiming that I have no right to carry a concealed semiautomatic weapon into the classroom for self defense.
What? Different amendment? Oh. Sorry. That’s OK. It’s time to go change my jello underpants anyway.
Let’s see, the 1960s flower children were born in the 1940s and ’50s. Assume that it takes at least 90 years for all of them to die off, so that means no wars until 2030 at the earliest. Sounds like a good idea to me…
Reading Jenean’s whole blog doesn’t take long and it’s worth the trip, if only to see how petty and ridiculous her complaints are. The three (count ’em, three) comments posted all call her to task for being a complete and utter shmendrick.
McBrearty, participating in a Chronicle of Higher Education colloquy on the learning college movement five years back, speaks kook to power:
Oops! It looks like the clintonista CHE Colloquy mafia burned Jenean’s cover.
Commenting without a preview button can lead to link omission. Don’t let it happen to you.
She actually argues AGAINST expressing concern for fellow man as formal policy.
Because you know haow terrible things would be if any formal policies actually went to better anybody’s life or anything.
Yep, best to formalize policy around eating your young and shitting on your neighbor, now THAT’S the American Way!
BAWL rules!
She makes an interesting point in a rather bizzar way. Old ones such as myself who lost friends and family to the domino theory have been sceptical of every subsequent attempt to use the military in submit or die diplomacy. Were it not for the invasion of Iraq, we would have died out and subsequent generations might blunder into another hopeles occupation. With the occupation of Iraq, the authoritarians will have to wait for this present generation to die out before they can again resort to submit or die diplomacy without raising an outcry from those who have been there done that, didn’t work.
On the other hand, what an asshat!
Roll over, Kaye Grogan,
Tell Mike Adams the news!
Please keep my remarks anonymous. I have a legitimate request for anonymity – I just got this job and I don’t want to lose it because I told the truth.
Surely one has to not say one’s name to remain anonymous, or is that my left-wing defeat-minded unhingedness talking?
“Let’s see, the 1960s flower children were born in the 1940s and ’50s. ”
Exactly, RobW, and let’s take it to a further point. How old is Jeneane? On her blog it says she’s 59. The same age as the flower children.
So, apparently, America won’t win another war until Jeneane is pushing up petunias.
Poor Jeneane. Sounds like someone had to stay home and babysit while the cook kids got to go to the love-in.
If You See Kaye, tell her it’s over.
“My contract wasn’t renewed, and when I protested that, a dean broke into my office and stole two cartoons from my door. I didn’t know it at the time, so I reported it to security who reported it to the police, who told the dean she was a thief.”
Wow. Shades of Mike Adams. This lady sounds like the amalagmation of every disgruntled non-tenured faculty member nightmare I’ve ever heard.
Seriously, I know that the thing about Academia is that the fights are so bitter because the stakes are so low, but a dean stealing cartoons from a door?
Were the cartoons on the inside of the door? Why did the police “tell” the dean she was a thief? For her information? Or did they charge her with misdemeanor cartoon theft?
And what cartoons were they? Day by Day? Steve Roper & Mike Nomad? Mallard Fillmore? Enquiring minds want to know.
I’ve never been under the impression that American soldiers were baby-burning neo-nazis.
For one thing, their uniforms leave a lot to be desired for stormtroopers. Where are the epaulets? I haven’t seen so much as a medal on any one of them. More lightning insignia, please.
I don’t know when the baby-burning starts, but when it does I’d like the free world’s troops to exhibit a certain European sartorial elegance. If one is going to stamp the jackboot of fascism upon the face of humanity, it just doesn’t do to dress down.
Standards please, gentlemen.
Recon she’s a speakin in tongues?
Kaye Grogan asks scathingly: “Did you know that one million is going toward Mormon Cricket & Grasshopper activity studies in Utah and $300,000 for the same project in Nevada?”
I suppose the bill she is ridiculing is related to this bill. “NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that the Legislature of the state of Utah, the Governor concurring therein, urges the United States Congress to provide funds sufficient to relieve Utahns of the devastating economic impact of the state’s cricket and grasshopper infestation.” Sometimes it pays to study the phenomenon you are trying to control. RESOLUTION URGING FEDERAL FUNDING TO FIGHT GRASSHOPPER AND CRICKET INFESTATIONS
But it leads me to wonder, how can you identify a Mormon cricket or grasshopper? Do they have special underwear?
a lot of people bit their noses off
Bit… Noses… My flabber is completely ghasted. Words fail me.
Okay, look – when I went on a camping trip in the sixth grade, my friends all crushed up a bunch of Smarties (the candy – like SweetTarts, remember them?) and snorted them. All they wound up with was a headache. Not one of them ended up even one percent as fucked up as Kaye Grogan.
I think that to adequately explain that level of behavior, you have to go all the way up to this kind of thing.
Flying Rodent: if I have to be tortured, the guy had better not be in a crappy TSA uniform with a cheery badge. I mean, come on… can’t the guy at least be wearing a leather trenchcoat and have nails driven into his pasty white skull?
“But it leads me to wonder, how can you identify a Mormon cricket or grasshopper? Do they have special underwear?”
Yes, it’s made of jello.
Officer: So. You want to be a fighter pilot.
Recruit: A Starfighter pilot sir.
Officer: And why particularly the Starfighter?
Recruit:Because sir I am in love with this airplane. This magnificent engine of steel and gleam.
Officer: That’s very poetic. Please continue.
Recruit: This aerodynamic Delilah. Its uptilted wings and sidewinder rockets. Its clear curving cockpit cover, the whirling of dials and needles. The illustrious uniform of the federal German Airforce. The click of heels in salute, the flare of the jacket, the wide, low-skirted hang of it, and oh, the low shiny peak of the cap.
Officer: I think that’s enough.
OK, OK, I had to click onthe Kaye link finally. But…but…more puzzlement! After saying : “It’s impossible to fund these on-going humongous projects without raising taxes.” She cites only one example, the grasshopper thing.I thought the grasshopper thing one one outrage in a long list of outrages about fiscal irresponsiblity.
But it’s the only thing she cites. Is this expenditure the ONLY pork project Kay disapproves of? Does she have something against funding research to control agricultural pests? Is she a closet environmentalist, perhaps?
And couldn’t she find a pork project a little more “humongous” than $300,000. in one state and $1,000,000 in another? It sounds like Dr. Evil in “Austin Powers” – (raising pinky finger) “One MILLION dollars!”
Do we have to burn babies? They really mess up my oven so.
When, oh WHEN, is Brad coming back?
$300,000 is nothing. The Federal Government propably spends that much each month on carbon paper.
“$300,000 is nothing. The Federal Government propably spends that much each month on carbon paper.”
Or on the Carbon Paper Preservation Task Force….’s catering.
If people really knew where their money went they’d be…outraged isn’t the right word. Like outraged a million.
But on the other hand, if we actually stopped spending that money…everything would stop working, civilization would grind to a halt and Kaye…well, just-in-time delivery and all, Kaye would be left to face it all glue-less and lucid.
The horror…the horror…
If you see a lot of people walking around noseless don’t be too surprised as a lot of people bit their noses off to spite their faces, when they voted in the midterm elections. – Wow, it’s like the Onion’s “Ask a Faulknerian Man-Child”, only horribly, wonderfully real.
I bet Jenean McBrearty is a little off kilter. Her heavy drug regiment to keep cool must have got disrupted back at DMACC.
Hey you know how those Conservatives are with their drug habits.
Holy Shit! I have a friend teaching at the Des Moines Area Community College. I am going to have to forward this to him and get the skinny on her. Believe me, I went to that college myself, and knew a lot of the instructors, and they will be freaking about this woman.
I’m sorry, I just needed a new name for a sec.
Talk about clueless- who makes glue as strong as Kay is huffing? It’s got to be more than glue- maybe something like an unborn twin that occupies 3/4 of her cranium?
If g can click on her link and survive, so can I (I rashly told myself). So, there I went. I actually read her last 3 posts and was not amazed to find she is as dumb as a stump. She tells us, before the election, that no middle-class American will vote for Dems and a tax increase. She tells us that the only problems we have are gay marriage and corrupt Dems. Nowhere is the word “Iraq” mentioned. Neither does she mention Repug corruption. What a tool.
That’s a special kind of stupid. A “let’s make a new wing of the Hall of Stoopid” kind of stupid.
Jenean has brought into my life a new brand of idiocy, a paradigm of
nuttery that can only be categorized as “Groganism!!!”
Look for it on your shelves today.
My utopia can’t have her in it, except on comedy night.
West Virginia pundit Don Surber, who believes in making a “Big Tent” for Republican porn stars, has discovered that the middle east is just like Indochina all over again:
In September, Don Surber professed his faith in the teachings of Laurie Mylroie.
Woah. McBrearty just broke my gaydar meter.
On mature reflection I guess I shouldn’t’ve tried sticking the gaydar meter in the USB port of the Wingut-o-tector.
My bad.
Given her sartorial choices, Jenean is still living in 1976, shortly after the last helicopters left Saigon. Back when the wingtards were newly bitter about how “a handful of bad apples” at My Lai and some newsreel footage of teenagers fleeing as napalm burned the clothes from their bodies could sap the American Empire’s will to spread democracy throughout Southeast Asia, to infinity, and beyond!!! I know the coastal elites have been known to snicker about heartland values, but really… Have you Hawkeyes been keeping people like Jenean in jars for the last 30 years?
Obviously, this woman needs help, and indeed, may be crying out for it. I consider it an American duty to answer that call- and I am asking for a joining together to help this hapless person in her quest for socio-political truth. Go to her blog- and instead of insults- give constructive advice as to how best to run for the hills-
To paraphrase the Mikey Life cereal commercial:
“I’m not going to her blog, YOU go to her blog”.
I’m frightened, Shana. Curled up in a ball in the corner of the room scared.
Call me an old hippy, but this reminds me of that old Arlo Guthrie rant –
“I said, sarge, I wanna kill.
I mean, I wanna kill. I wanna see blood and guts and veins in my teeth… heaped, dead, burnt bodies… I wanna kill, kill! kill!
And we wus both jumping up and down shouting kill! kill! kill!
And the sarge sat me down and said, you’re our boy…”
I always thought he was kidding, for comedy purposes. Just goes to show the Pistols were right, you should never trust a hippy – always stabbing the troops in the back, they are.
We do NOT burn babies. We tear the limbs off of six year old boys with depleted uranium weapons, as we kill his family, then we interview his doctor on CNN. During that interview, we ask if he knows anything about Operation Iraqi Freedom, and the reason he no longer has legs, or parents.
(Yes, this really happened. Kyra Phillips conducted an interview, and asked the doctor caring for the boy if knew about Operation Iraqi Freedom and the reason for the war.)
you can’t blame don surber for being a tool. he’s just a thumb that someone drew a face on. he’s done remarkably well considering.
humm, I count 4 wars since 1975,
Grenada, Panama, Persian Gulf I, and Kosovo. We won all of them although the Serbs were really good at getting us to hit fake tanks and the such. Still, it we got what we wanted.
It wasn’t until Iraq II that we started losing again, and that’s hardly the left’s fault. since it’s being run by the 3 Stooges. And it’s not the good stooges either, it’s Shemp and two fake Curleys….
Was I fooled by an internet hoax?
Don Surber http://thumbsnap.com/v/yF7QHcV5.jpg
may actually be a thumb puppet http://thumbsnap.com/v/Fq4PPzkl.jpg
okay, first —
dear world,
please destroy my country. please smash it up real good real soon.
thanks,
ray
second —
people biting off their own noses. i can’t find this anywhere, and i looked on youtube. what am i doing wrong?
okay. time to go get high on acid.
After a brief series of experiments and several consultations, I have reached the unfortunate conclusion that it is anatomically impossible to bite off one’s own nose. Now this leads me to conclude that in Kaye’s world, people bite off other peoples noses to spite other people’s faces. While I reject this violent act of mutilation on ethical grounds, the knowledge that this act would invariably result in the consumption of other peoples boogers causes me to recoil in uncontrollable EEEWWWWWWWWW!!111!!
mikey
You know, if this Jenean McBrearty person is so frightened of her students that she feels she needs to carry a concealed semiautomatic weapon to class, she should think about moving here to Missouri.
Because she could totally do that, here. Of course, many of her students would almost certainly also be so equipped, especially the ones in the Criminal Justice career track, so I am not sure this would resolve her fear-and-loathing-of-students issues.
Also, I found this:
…a dean broke into my office and stole two cartoons from my door. I didn’t know it at the time, so I reported it to security who reported it to the police, who told the dean she was a thief.
…confusing. Does she actually mean ‘cartoons’? Or does she mean, perhaps, ‘cartons’? Because somehow I seriously doubt that either campus security or the police would really be all that diligent about investigating the filching of what were probably photocopied cartoons. If they were cartoons.
I have to say, while IANAL, I don’t know many states which have laws on the books regarding the prosecution of people who steal photocopies from people’s doors.
Unless, you know, they were photocopies of Top Secret National Security Stuff. Which, considering that this was a community college, and probably not involved in Top Secret National Security Stuff research, I consider an unlikely possibility; but if it WERE true, than it is Ms. McBrearty and not the Dean who would be in Big Trouble for posting Top Secret National Security Stuff on her door.
This woman is only a few years older than I am–how did she get so addled? She obviously skipped the whole flower children drug thing, so it can’t be flashbacks. Do you suppose she drinks to excess? Or perhaps one of the students she fears and despises dropped some blotter in her coffee one day?
No concealed semiautomatic weapon is gonna save you from the acid, Ms. McBrearty. Let your freak flag fly!
I think I must leave off trying to find a rational reason for her behavior and writings now, as trying to puzzle through Ms. McBrearty’s opinions and her many difficulties has given me a nervous headache.
I will go now, and take a blue Valium AND a Neurontin. Because you can’t be too careful.
I think David Horowitz should be contacted to defend this woman against carton-theft by the liberal administration of the Bluegrass Community College District.
Do you suppose carton-theft has something to do with political correctness and intolerance of smoking and discrimination against the tobacco industry? It IS “Bluegrass” country, after all.
I actually emailed David Horowitz once to alert him about the liberal faculty at the fictional Central Western Pennsylvania University depicted in Richard Russo’s novel “Straight Man.” He even wrote me back, asking for more info!!!
What do you know. It looks like Horowitz and McBrearty are buddies.
it is anatomically impossible to bite off one’s own nose
It did cross my mind that most people in Kaye’s social milieu are missing their original teeth, and so they are able to bite off their own noses, using their false choppers. But I was loath to start on the trailer-trash stereotyping.
If no one else, my ex-wife’s family appreciates your forbearance, Dok…
mikey
Another explanation — Kaye has read Red Dragon way too many times, and now she identifies with the Dollarhyde character. Not a pleasant thought.
I wonder if she has her Ph.D.? There is no female “Mcbrearty” listed on the UMI site with a Political Science dissertation. of course it might be a married name….
Still on the topic of nose amputations and false teeth, I need to point out — in the interests of full disclosure — that I am not Herr Doktor Hans Peter Bimler the orthodontist (inventor of Bimler’s Cephalometric Index and Bimler’s Apparatus). That Bimler’s “last days were peaceful, witty and composed; Dr. Bimler, as always, was a perfect gentleman until the end”. Evidently a completely different person.
Too much time on Google.
Okay, Woodrowfan, here you go:
From South Florida Community College’s newsletter, Panther Tales, Volume 19, Issue 5 (August 2004), p. 4 [pdf].
“last days were peaceful, witty and composed; Dr. Bimler, as always, was a perfect gentleman until the end�.
That’s just fucked up. You’d have to be three kinds of asshole to end up like that. Mine would say something like “mikey’s last days included angry, bitter rants against all his enemies, past and present, real and perceived, attempts to grope not only the nurses but the attending physician, demands for more and more drugs in higher doses, a theory that vladamir Putin was responsible for his impending death, and, in the last days, a decision to begin smoking cigarettes again”….
mikey
So, like when are you guys gonna start posting some new quotes? Kramer has a whole bunch of new stuff, get busy!
This thread was worth everything just for the phrase, “Still on the topic of nose amputations and false teeth…”
TY J:
“angry, bitter rants against all his enemies, past and present, real and perceived, attempts to grope not only the nurses but the attending physician, demands for more and more drugs in higher doses, a theory that vladamir Putin was responsible for his impending death, and, in the last days, a decision to begin smoking cigarettes again�
So what parts of your life aren’t included in that description, Mikey?
So our most accomplished academic has taught at Des Moines Community College, Bluegrass Community College, and South Florida Community College, all in the last several years?
Ah the hallowed ivy halls!
To parphrase Dr. Science – She has a MASTER’s Degree – in [Political] Science!
[note — my own Bachelor’s degree is in Theatre with a 2.6 GPA] so don’t go all off on me about being an academia snob.
So what parts of your life aren’t included in that description, Mikey?
Umm, well, I’m pretty sure President Putin doesn’t want me dead…
mikey
Umm, well, I’m pretty sure President Putin doesn’t want me dead…
How sure are you, mikey? Sure enough to go out for sushi with a buncha spies in London??? I didn’t think so!
The latest twist in the story: You see, this poor dead man also had underworld connections, and a lot of other unsavory people didn’t like him, so it’s not fair to blame Putin. Hell, I have underworld connections, in the form of Italian relatives who live quite well without having inherited money or ever seeming to have real jobs; however, none of them, to my knowledge, has access to radioactive materials.
You know, the last time I was in London, I stayed for a week at that Millennium hotel in Grosvenor Square that they have now apparently closed off and are checking for radiation. Obviously, this was on the company’s dime. My self-financed trips to London ran more toward the B & B in Gower Street end of the spectrum.
Anyway, it’s a really nice hotel. With marble bathtubs deep enough to float in! And if you ever go to London, and if you have a lot of money, and want to stay in a very posh and dead boring part of town, and if you want a view of the American Embassy from your windows, and if they don’t find any deadly levels of Polonium there, I highly recommend it.
Hi Gentlewoman! Good T’Giving? The best part of this story is that Litvenenko left the KGB (er, sorry, FSB) and sought asylum in Great Britain after being ordered to commit a political assassination and refusing. And now the KGB (er, sorry, the FSB) is outraged, OUTRAGED that someone might suggest that they do that sort of thing. This has more layers than good Baklava…
mikey
Let this be a lesson to all you fledgling spies out there. Be sure to follow and insist on Moscow Rules, especially when ordering tea or sushi.
Hippies run the country? What, did they beat the snot out of the Freemasons when I wasn’t looking.
Altmouse is back, by the way, for those interested in such minutiae.
http://www.LouDobbs4President.com
Petition
You guys missed the best thing off her blog:
“Interests: writing books and screenplays.”
HOLLYWOOD, present day. A cafe.
EXEC: So… give me the pitch.
MCBREARTY: Pitch?
(pause)
EXEC: Um, you’re a screenwriter, right?
MCBREATRY: Indeed I am.
EXEC: See, a pitch is… never mind. What’s the story that you wrote?
MCBREARTY: Scene: A community college. Our heroine, Jenny McBarty, is valiantly teaching a community class. She’s inspiring! It’s like that Robin Williams movie.
EXEC: One Hour Photo?
MCBREARTY: No, the other one!
EXEC: Insomnia?
MCBREARTY: No, the one where he’s a teacher!
EXEC: Ohhhh… Dead Poets Society.
MCBREARTY: Anyway. Suddenly–an EVIL DEAN breaks in. He’s wearing a Mao T-Shirt and Liberal Pants.
EXEC: What are Liberal Pants?
MCBREARTY: You know… chaps, torn knees, exposed buttocks…
EXEC: Ohhhh. Those liberal pants.
(looks frantically for waiter. Does not see one.)
MCBREARTY: The EVIL DEAN runs up to the podium, grabs a pile of Freedom Cartoonsâ„¢, says “Ha, ha, ha, McBarty! Now I’ve got you!” and runs out the door.
EXEC: Leaving liberal dust in his wake, no doubt.
MCBREARTY: Have you read it already?
EXEC: Oh God. What’s the, uh, deal with these Freedom Cartoons?
MCBREARTY: They teach Freedom.
(pause)
EXEC: Oh.
MCBREARTY: I think it’ll make $100 million. I see Reese Witherspoon in the lead.
(EXEC looks at McBREARTY.)
EXEC: To play you.
MCBREARTY: Yes.
(pause)
EXEC: I see.
(EXEC stands up slowly.)
EXEC: I’ll be right back. I need to use the restroom.
(EXEC runs away.)
MCBREARTY: Commie liberal Hollywood. Should’ve known.
I’m trying to decide if I’m grateful the Intertubes didn’t exist yet when I was in high school and college (because, no matter how nutty or wierd any of our teachers and professors seemed, their private lives and thoughts were unknown to us) or if I’m sorry (because it would have been a hoot to find out if they had blogs and what they said on them).
If I were one of McBreasty’s students, I’d be embarrassed to have her class on my transcripts. Or I’d never go to class and blackmail an “A” out of her anyway.
But…but….isn’t there the Liberty Film FEstival to showcase this wonderful piece of work?
Hey, guys. I’m in need of some slaps upside the head.
I let myself be talked into adopting a geriatric Rottweiler.
No, really.
Hi, mikey! I had a swell Thanksgiving, having managed to totally piss off the last of my wingnut rellies so I didn’t have to eat with them. Yay! If I play my cards right, I might even be able to luck out on Christmas dinner as well. I must steel myself in resolve. No retreat! ‘Republicans are liars and assholes!’ ‘Hell, no, I won’t pray, there is no god!’ That ought to do it.
I read about yours on an earlier thread, sounded lovely.
You know, on this whole Litvenenko horrorshow, perhaps we need Teh Decider to look into Putin’s heart again. It’s not like Teh Decider has anything else to do or decide or anything.
g! That is soooo cool. No, I won’t slap you upside the head. Both my cats are rescues, and I only want to murder Ganesh Bengal Cat once or twice a day. So you see, adopted animals are the best. And Rotties can be very sweet, if a bit slobbery for my taste. I know you will be as happy to have given the dog a home, as the dog will be to have one. And no matter how geriatric the Rottie, you have just reduced the chances of burglary to your home by about 100%. Almost makes up for the droolage right there.
You know, the last time I was in London, I stayed for a week at that Millennium hotel in Grosvenor Square that they have now apparently closed off and are checking for radiation.
All is clear now. Because Putin wants Mikey dead, he sent a diktat down to the FSB — ‘Liquidate the guy from S,N!’. Of course, being as screwed up with institutional incompetence as any other bureaucracy (but with added vodka), the FSB sent a team off to the Millennium under the impression that they were after Gentlewoman. She wasn’t there so they poisoned Litvenenko instead. Could happen to anyone.
I wonder if this will seem as funny tomorrow, when I’m sober.
Hey, guys. I’m in need of some slaps upside the head. I let myself be talked into adopting a geriatric Rottweiler. No, really.
Why do I feel like there should be a James Baker joke here?
But, seriously — mazel tov, G! May you and your new housemate be happy together for many years!
And I say this as someone whose new-to-us rescue Papillon recently revealed why a “practically perfect” young, healthy, friendly, quiet, mostly-housebroken cuddlebug would be up for re-homing: He’s an escape artist. Out an open window, into the pouring rain and a surprise three-foot drop, and off into the night without so much as a glance over his shoulder. Thank goddess for the young, fleet-footed good Samaritans who picked him up (on the wrong side of the busy main drag) and gave him a bed for the night. I’m thinking of changing the little monster’s name to Zevon, because he’s definitely a “send lawyers, guns, and money” kinda guy!
Closing italics tags. Zevon says whoever swiped the preview button needs to bring it back…
Dang! Try again!
Nope, looks like I busted the intertoobz…
Can someone please tell the wingnuts that hippies are extinct.
They died out around 1972 or something and do not exsist anymore.
When was the last time you saw a VW van with psych paint on it and a bunch of unwashed 20 year olds inside playing the grateful dead.
No, no, no.I am already the parent of an adopted dog. I am an experienced adopted-dog parent!!! I already have an adopted geriatric Malamute!
“you have just reduced the chances of burglary to your home by about 100%. True, this is 100% improvement on the Malamute…… Malamutes guide the thieves into the house and show them where we keep the silver. And then beg for a biscuit.
I am hoping that the 2 of them will end up lying around on the porch like Oscar and Felix of “The Odd Couple” and keep each other company in their dottage.
The Malamute is deaf, and the Rottweiler has a bony outgrowth sticking out of the top of his skull. We may never get UPS deliveries at the house again!
Shit!! italicssssssssss!
Herr Doktor Bimler! *attempt to close italics, probably doomed to failure–sure hope that preview button is enjoying Aruba, or wherever the hell it is*
Wow, those FSB guys are total fuck-ups. I haven’t been in London since 1999. What a waste of a perfectly good hotel.
And the whole slaying of Litvenenko business certainly makes the theory that Putin had that woman journalist (whose name I cannot currently recall) killed, as well.
If he doesn’t watch out, Teh Decider will put the Rooskies back on the Axis of Evil list. Boy, Putin will certainly be sorry, then!
“I am hoping that the 2 of them will end up lying around on the porch like Oscar and Felix of “The Odd Coupleâ€? and keep each other company in their dottage.
The Malamute is deaf, and the Rottweiler has a bony outgrowth sticking out of the top of his skull. We may never get UPS deliveries at the house again! “
You have a UNICORN ROTTWEILER??? Boy, us dirty liberal hippies will do anything for entertainment, won’t we?
Here’s hoping that your new Rottweiler doesn’t try to get the Malamute’s attention by barking at him, because after a few weeks of that you’ll be deaf as well …
Wow, those FSB guys are total fuck-ups. I haven’t been in London since 1999.
Under the new, Malkin-approved nomenclature, we should probably be referring to “Tikrit-on-the-Thames”. Excuse me for getting off the subject, whatever that was. Something about nose amputations, or geriatric dogs, was it? There is an opportunity there for a bad joke about Tycho Brahe — him being a great Dane — but I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader.
As a hippie who’s trying to run the country, albeit from a considerable distance, I admit that I am doing a shit job!
Thank you.
“okay. time to go get high on acid.”
Did you bring enough for EVERYONE?!!
Bluegrass Coimunnity College, eh? I always thought it was called Bluegrass Community and Technical College.
Um, yeah.
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