Ahhh… my favorite from Ace’s post is this:

Anybody up for an Ace of Spades Wank For War at some point?

Honestly, how would that be different from any other day?

I think it needs one of those old-timey German army helmets next. That’d look sweet.

I just thought this was a stupid idea, but now that I realize the left is behind it I’m going to be orgasming for peace all over the place.

Oh man I’m defiliating the shit out of this one.

Defiliation? I don’t think that word means what you think it means Ace.

I would have used the word “defamation.” It just sounds more American.

Maybe I missed it, but do these orgasmers abduct children too?

Maybe I missed it, but do these orgasmers abduct children too?

Only when those children are religious icons, steve_e. Maybe the plan includes widespread abduction of the Baby Jesus from those giant nativity scenes that people are wont to put in their yards.

Personally I’d rather orgasm for peace rather than jerk off for war.

Your first comment seems to have hit the mark, Marita.

Jeebus what a maroon…

Could he be after “desecration”? “To treat with sacrilege; profane.” (Defamation usually is done to people–at the very least, it requires a reputation: “false or unjustified injury of the good reputation of another, as by slander or libel”)

Oh, hey! Maybe he means “defilement”, the noun form of “defile” (def. 3: to make impure for ceremonial use; desecrate). I’d probably go for the gerund form “defiling”–it flows better (the l-m combination is hard to do when drunk or droolingly stupid, which is an important consideration for Ace’s readers, I imagine).

Either way, this seems to be yet another case of “But I spell-checked it! It must be right!” syndrome.

Come on, Ace, you know you want to join the Global Orgasm. There’s even a Poison song you can sing while you stroke your Flying V:

I want action tonight
Satisfaction all night

Maybe he means defecation? I don’t swing that way, but what turns on the “wankfest for war” set is God’s own mystery.

I don’t see why December 22 should be different from any other day . . .

Oh, and I think it (the new logo) could use a biker bandana.

I just like the fact that he assumed all the orgasming for peace would be solo . . . inadvertent oversharing there, Ace?

Nancy: I think the 22nd is the Winter Solstice – damn pagans, always lookin’ for an excuse to shag!

I’m upset at the pluralization of the Left. I am not a they, and I only defiliated (red underlines appear under that word) that statue of St. Francis of Assisi on a bet, and boy does my pelvis hurt. And now, the all-purpose excuse for your fucked-up Thanksgiving:

The Left burnt the gravy in the pan and now all we’ll have is dry turkey! The Left ruined the reception on my satellite dish moments before kickoff of the Dallas/Tampa Bay game! The Left got Uncle Ernie drunk and now he’s crying in the bathroom!

The left ate all the pie, drank all the Zinfandel and threw up all over mom’s white couch…

Just tryin to help here

mikey

Isn’t he violating the “English-only” laws in his town?

Maybe it’s supposed to be defenestration?

The Left tugged on Lisa’s “pioneer women” centerpiece until it flew into the fire, refused to apologize, then ran away and got Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter.

Spellcheck is so great. “defilation, did you mean defiliation?” “I guess I must have!”

Wait. I get it now. Ace is just sublime parody of the right, he’s really a liberal that aspires to be like Teh Gen’rul.

Defiliatitiamatizing.

Yeah, my liberal-minded friends had a good laugh about this when we heard. Our response was generally “meh, that’s what I was going to be doing anyway!”

I think he meant defbrillation of religious icons, so they could come back to life and smite the fornicators of evil.

what protests?

oh, those one’s back in 1972… I see.

well ace, you entirely forgot 4) Jane Fonda

Yeah, I’ve also noticed that defiling religious icons is shocking. Next time I piss on the electric Mary statue (eyes light up when you pray!), I’ll turn off the power beforehand.

At a minimum, the next touch to the logo should be some skull fissures. The cranium seems too shiny and bright. I am more inclined to suggest a motorcycle rocketing out of the skull with a buxom blond adorned in a fur bikini riding it through the molten lava and flames.

I SIMPLY CANNOT FUNCTION ANYMORE WITHOUT THE CONSTANT UPDATING OF ACE’S LOGO.

This has simply become must watch appointment blogging. And I shall cease to perform my usual duties until these keep getting posted.

I would read Ace’s blog if his logo were that good.

Bad, distasteful nudity of the sort of people who shouldn’t be permitted to be naked outside their own homes

Is there a list somewhere of the people who should be permitted to be naked outside their own homes? I have some nominations for it.

Oh my god you people are so funny!

is it too much to put in a Pick of Destiny? I think Ace needs one.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

He must have meant “depilation”…cause Ace is sick of The Left removing all the hair from his religious icons.

The next modification to Ace’s logo needs an arrow between the eyes, of the rubber variety.

I am still waiting for the animated gif skull. You *promised*!

**Pushing up the ante, I know you’ve got to see me,
Read ’em and weep, the dead man’s hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it’s gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades, the Ace of Spades!**

Can you replace the other sword with a Rickenbacker bass? That. Would. Be. Awesome.

Peace? Peace? I’d like a Peace!

Why is the guitar not on fire?

suggest a motorcycle rocketing out of the skull with a buxom blond adorned in a fur bikini riding it through the molten lava and flames.

I know, sweetie, but we just about can’t take you anywhere already.

Kathleen: is it too much to put in a Pick of Destiny? I think Ace needs one.

Did you mean the Pick-axe of Destiny? Or am I reading an entirely different…?