Marc Racicot is trying to cut to the front of the line to the RNC fainting couch again, the latest case of the vapors coming over John Kerry’s description of critics as “the most crooked … lying group I’ve ever seen.” “[U]nbecoming of a candidate for the presidency,” Racicot fumed, and he wants Kerry “to apologize to the American people.”

Will Monsieur Racicot’s manservant discreetly interrupt his gentleman’s crying jag to deliver a heartfelt handwritten apology from that beastly rou? Mr. Kerry? Sadly, Non!

Why Racicot would demand an apology for “the American people” is a mystery, because recent polls show most people think that President Bush is a liar or deliberately misleading people. Demanding one for Great Leader is just plain silly, as the first official lie was when he swore to”protect and defend the Constitution” that he’s now trying to homo-proof.

Mr. Racicot’s own pants spontaneously burst into flame recently when he lied that AWOL

“signed up for dangerous duty. He volunteered to go to Vietnam. He wasn?t selected to go, but nonetheless served his country very well.”

That’s one neat stack of fibs, a club sandwich of mendacity, as documents clearly show the exact opposite. (It bears mentioning that AWOL also apparently lied when he promised on Press the Meat with Tim Russert to release his entire military records.)

So while this RNC slapstick might be the kind of clean, comedic fun conservatives want saturating the airwaves — as entertainment, about on the level of those old Disney films about dizzy pets messing up the house while the owners are out — Racicot should save his outrage for a day the administration wasn’t acting like a pack of shifty double-talking douchebags.

Asked at a recent congressional hearing why costs for Iraq were not included in the administration’s budget, Pentagon comptroller Dov Zakheim replied: “Because we simply cannot predict them.”

Yet many contend the administration at least knows that roughly 100,000 soldiers will remain in Iraq for another year and could have budgeted an estimate or a placeholder request for that. “We know it will not be free,” said Steve Kosiak of the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments. …

The Pentagon’s refusal to estimate costs is the same stance it took before the war. For months leading up to the invasion, officials said they couldn’t estimate because they didn’t know how long it would take to fight the war. Within days after it started, however, the Pentagon sent Congress a request for $63 billion. “So you know they had it in their back pockets,” all along, said Cindy Williams, a former congressional budget officer…

Meanwhile, the grilling of CIA head George Tenet continued as Ted Kennedy

sought to learn why the administration distorted and manipulated the intelligence, when “the only imminent threat was the November congressional election.” It was, Kennedy said, “pure, unadulterated fear-mongering,” in order to justify Bush’s determined decision to go to war.

This immediately sent White House spokesbot Scott McLellan running to join Mr. Racicot in the lineup for the fainting couch. I really don’t think any apologies are forthcoming. Sorry, Mr. Racicot. DOH!