Oh Hey, More Rape Apologetics
He had a video that was even worse, but it turns out when I went to watch it, my self-preservation instinct kicked in and stopped me. I didn’t even know I had one of those.
James “I wish my last name was Tarantino”
LEAFS SUCKTaranto, Wall Street Fellatio Purveyors:
Best of the Web Today: Drunkeness and Double Standards
Man, it is fucking educational to see the Wall Street Journal’s race to the motherfucking bottom. I mean, yeah, they’ve always been scum-sucking bastards. That’s just what you expect from a newspaper whose only raison d’être has been treating the rigged casino game sucking on our nation’s intestines like the world’s biggest tapeworm as if the dancing lines were somehow critical to life, the universe, and everything.
I mean, regular level suck, doucheastrophysics conservatism, a belief that the parasites are the poor suckers just trying to survive and not the people stealing millions of manhours of productivity in order to build a new fleet of luxury yachts? That’s the shit we’re used to.
But ever since the Journal was absorbed into Rupert Murdoch’s sweaty taint as part of his NewsCorp bid to make all English-speaking countries worse for his existence, it has continually amazed in the utter speed and enthusiasm to which it has plummeted into the wet mossy heart of the swamp where even the likes of American Thinker fears to tread.
I mean, today’s post is bad. Of course, it’s bad. It wouldn’t be on this site if it wasn’t bad. But I think it’s the fact that it’s labeled the “Best of the Web” that just adds that extra sheen of what the everloving fuck.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Hey, if she didn’t want the D, she shouldn’t have passed out. Am I right fellas? Holla! Also, what’s with this epidemic of false rape accusations. I mean, I could, I mean, poor men who aren’t me can be accused of raping someone just because we use our target’s inebriation as an excuse for raping someone. It’s totally unfair and feminism’s fault.
Best of the Web, ladies, gentlemen, genderqueers, and fluberts.
And the rest of the posts and links rounded up aren’t much better, mostly consisting with bizarre attempts to neg the New York Times as if that rotting bag of corpses was a)still relevant, and b)actually gave a shit what the likes of James Taranto thought about anything.
Which I get that it’s just the name of Taranto’s shitty little failed stand-up routine turned article, but the fact that those words are the first thing one encounters before a tired little flatulent bubble from the rapist’s lobby, just adds that extra little bit of fuck you to help start your morning.
The headline in the New York Times’s Education Life section reads “Stepping Up to Stop Sexual Assault.” The story, by reporter Michael Winerip, is more balanced than that.
More balanced? Seriously? Between who? Rape survivors and rapists? Gosh, it sure would be terrible if people could no longer rape with impunity. And I think it’s the fact that it’s the title he takes exception to. I mean, when we’re starting with a balk at how “unfair” it is to “stop sexual assault”, you know you are in for some seriously personal slime from the rapist brigade.
I mean, fuck, even MRA bottom-feeders don’t usually flat out state that they are against stopping rape and instead at least couch it in some self-serving bullshit.
Oi. But the article cited is actually halfway decent. It’s about bystander intervention programs, reaching out to the overall culture that often turns a blind-eye to public sexual assault and working to change that culture into one that is proactive. It’s not likely to be as successful as the “Don’t be that guy” campaign or other campaigns to stop rapists themselves, but it definitely does help to remove the culture of silence that rapists exploit to have their activities tacitly endorsed.
In fact, there’s a great point in the article where a participant in the program notes the struggle of wanting to be a good bystander and the social pressure of toxic masculinity that labels such actions of preventing rape as “being a cock block”.
There’s one sentence where they try and pretend that rape accusations or sentences ruin a boy’s life (and which I guess is the part that Taranto is calling “balanced”), which just makes me want to live on the planet that the New York Times lives on. But seeing as how the New York Times’s usual response to sexual assault is to actively cheer the rape culture and play the “bitches always be lyin'” card, I’m happy to take my scraps where I can.
Taranto has chosen to do the same.
Unlike many journalists writing about this subject, Winerip acknowledges the problem of wrongful accusation.
YeeAAArrrrrrGGGGGhhhhhhh!
Okay, deep breaths, find my chi.
I am fucking done about this particular piece of hog-swallop.
False rape accusations. Aren’t. A thing. Period. You are literally more likely to be killed by a fucking terrorist than be falsely accused of rape. And you are more likely to be killed by a falling piece of space rock than either of those.
Yes, it very occasionally happens. In the exact same amounts as every other false accusation about every single other crime (theft, assault, etc…) but no one is screaming their head off about the epidemic of false theft accusations.
Actually, it occurs less than those other accusations, because the vast majority of most false rape accusations take the form of “some guy jumped me from the bushes” or other vague low-detail accusation that is unlikely to land anyone in jail. Beyond that, most of the sliver that remains are a result of the crime occurring but the wrong perp being fingered — i.e. a rape still happened, but the victim or a witness misremembered who committed it or were too out of it to give a correct description, or the crime was designated too horrible and so a random drifter was fingered for it in order for the police department to look proactive or because the real assailant is too politically connected or socially powerful.
So the likelihood of the mythology that has been built up and mass packaged, that bitches be constantly lying about rape because they just didn’t receive an adequate number of orgasms or the feminist hive mind took over, is so uncommon that rape apologists literally have to pour over scraps in order to find the one or two cases where that actually is a thing.
And it’s sickening how social fear of the “terrible thought of falsely accusing someone of rape” has lead to a situation where an accuser is automatically assumed to be lying unless they have photographic and video tape evidence and even then, well*…
And it’s even more rage-inducing when you consider just how large the epidemic of rape really is. Just how amazingly common it is to the point where pretty much everyone knows at least one person who has been raped and situations like my friend’s circle where nearly everyone has been raped at one time or another are not at all uncommon.
It’s at the point, where I pretty much assume that anybody whining about false rape accusations is mostly afraid of a fictional future world where real rape accusations result in actual jail time and want to head that off at the pass lest anyone look at their actions in such light.
He recounts the story of Dez Wells, who was a star basketball player at Ohio’s Xavier University. A female student went to the campus police claiming Wells had raped her. He denied the charge, saying that the pair had consensual sex after a game of truth or dare. Investigators concluded no rape had occurred. “It wasn’t close,” prosecutor Joseph Deters tells Winerip. A grand jury declined to hand up an indictment.
Deters “repeatedly tried speaking with Xavier officials, but they did not respond.” Instead, they hauled Wells before a campus tribunal, which expelled him: “When Mr. Deters read the transcript of that hearing, he says: ‘It shocked me. There were students on that conduct board, looking at rape kits; they’d say, “I don’t know what I’m looking at.” ‘ “
Ah, yes, speaking of cherry picking. So this bit of fluff was a tiny part of the article noting that special school tribunals tend to suck at figuring out rape, seeing as their first responsibility is to protecting the name of the school by blocking out authorities.
Taranto chooses to see it instead as an example of a man ruined by the system despite having everything just because they were accused of one little rape.
The story has about as happy an ending as such a case can have. On the strength of a character reference from the prosecutor–“I told them he was a really good kid, he’d never been in trouble with the law and I didn’t believe he’d done anything wrong”–the National Collegiate Athletic Association allowed him to transfer to the University of Maryland, waiving its usual one-year delay for such actions. “Several times last season at away games, including one at Duke when he scored 30 points, fans taunted [Wells] about being a rapist, shouting, ‘No means no.’ ” (Mike Nifong, is that you?)
Truly no one has suffered more.
The irony of this thing is that this is supposed to serve as a “horrors” of “false accusation” even though a) it really doesn’t. I mean, it could have been or it could have been as simple as the fact that most prosecutors tend to avoid even bringing up cases without an overwhelming amount of evidence that most survivors just aren’t going to have and which is going to be difficult to prove in a case where things started with a consensual act (note he only said the beginning act was consensual, not the sex itself), and b) it really doesn’t.
I mean, let’s say this was the classic case that rape apologists have been looking for. A “good kid”, whose goodness is determined by his skill at hoops, is falsely accused by one of those accursed harridans that stalk the campus looking to gobble up innocent young women in order to protect protestations of female virtue. Let’s say it’s the rape apologist fantasy writ true.
If so, it pretty much nails shut the argument that the fate of this “false accusation” is worse than actual rape or has much in the way of consequences at all. His collegiate basketball career wasn’t even interrupted. He went to another high-quality school. And the worst he faced was some trash-talking.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have shit like Steubenville where a woman was video-taped by her abusers being raped by them and still her name was run through the mud, she was given death threats, accused of ruining the name of two innocent men, and lived with all the wonderful side effects of rape including flashbacks, PTSD, etc…
But here, the person Taranto uses as his example of what the lying bitch brigade will wrought if allowed to pursue their campaign of people actually caring about sexual assault barely had an interruption to their day despite having his school conclude that he had raped another student.
It’s such a perfect refutation of the notion that anyone actually cares if someone is accused of rape and the fact that it’s being used as if it is proof of Satan himself really drives home how desperate the rape apologists have to get to excuse rape culture.
Wells is suing Xavier–which, for its part, seems to have learned a lesson from the incident: “Xavier now refers all assault cases to [Deters’s] office.”
Oh the prosecutor who gave a glowing review to the most prominent rapist of the campus so he wouldn’t have his basketball season interrupted? Yeah, even if it was a bunch of bullhonkey to begin with, I bet that little bit makes all the other rape survivors of the school feel real safe in reporting their assaults.
At the other end of the spectrum is an incident last Labor Day at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. A young man allegedly “stopped a young woman heading home alone from a party,” then “pinned her against a tree and began kissing and biting her neck.” She told police that he throttled her so that she couldn’t yell, and that “after 10 minutes, she was thrown to the ground . . . and raped.” Passersby then broke up the alleged attack, took pictures, and contacted police. The defendant, Patrick Durocher, has been charged with aggravated rape; last month he pleaded not guilty.
Winerip makes clear that the unambiguous brutality of the alleged Amherst attack is atypical. “These aren’t people jumping out of the bushes,” Sgt. Richard Cournoyer, a Connecticut state trooper who’s investigated a dozen assault allegations against University of Connecticut students, tells the reporter. “For the most part, they’re boys who had too much to drink and have done something stupid. When we show up to question them, you can see the terror in their eyes.”
Pretty much.
The vast majority of rapes do not occur because of the phantom “bad guy in the bushes who jumps out and rapes the girl walking home alone” or the prototypical superhero movie cliche of random asshole corners woman in alley.
Most rapes occur in one’s home and often by someone the survivor knows personally. A friend, a lover, a parent, a trusted authority figure. The betrayal of trust often makes the initial violation even worse and even more world-shaking and sadly, harder to prosecute owing to public perceptions of how rape is “supposed to work”.
When I was raped, the person who raped me was a stranger, a person I did not know, but such things are rare. More common are stories like my girlfriend who was held down by a fellow member of her organization in the middle of a party and violated. Or like my partner who was stalked into another room by her rapist and raped. Or like my partner again who woke up to her boyfriend at the time entering into her ass.
The main topic of Winerip’s piece is a preventive program called “bystander intervention”: “Mostly it is common sense,” he writes: “If a drunk young man at a party is pawing a drunk young woman, then someone nearby (the bystander) needs to step in (intervene) and get one of them out of there. . . . The goal is to stop bad behavior before it crosses the line from drunken partying to sexual assault. . . . The hope is that bystander programs will have the same impact on campus culture that the designated driver campaign has had in reducing drunken driving deaths.”
It sounds quite sensible, not to mention shrewd. Bystanders are encouraged to favor subtlety over confrontation, to employ “diversions” such as “suddenly turning on the lights at a party or turning off the music; accidentally spilling a drink on the guy; forming a conga line and pulling him away from the woman he’s bothering and onto the dance floor. . . . In the best of circumstances, a drunken aggressor won’t realize he’s been had.”
This is the last sensible comment that Taranto has in him. Treat it as one would a fragile endangered butterfly flying directly into the poisoned skies near the arsenic factory.
Winerip recounts one successful intervention that was more forthright:
Matt Martel [was on] a taxi ride home with a friend and a very drunk woman they’d met at a UMass party. “The two of them were touching, cuddling, it was obvious she was down for whatever,” says Mr. Martel, a junior. “She’d lost her inhibitions to the point that it really seemed like a good idea for her to go home with this guy she hardly knew.”
Mr. Martel got between them to take her back to her dorm. “I said, ‘Dude, come on, she’s hammered,’ ” he recalls. His friend was angry. “It was outright awkward,” Mr. Martel says. The next day the girl thanked him, but Mr. Martel didn’t take a lot of pleasure from it. “I could tell she didn’t remember what she was thanking me for,” he says, “but someone told her she should, so she did.”
The question arises here: Whom exactly did Martel save from danger?
Um… the woman?
I mean, if someone is too drunk to give reasonable consent one shouldn’t sleep with them. That should be a no-brainer unless one is so convinced of their loathsomeness that they think they need to exploit every trick in their arsenal to get awkward, incompetent, and rapey “sex” because the notion of enjoyable mutually consenting actual sex is a foreign notion (because they are rapists and people quite naturally want to avoid that shit).
And might I say that this story is really sad in how it points out the role toxic masculinity plays in discouraging male bystanders from speaking out in cases such as these and instead tacitly supporting predators who seek to “trick” people into “sex” instead of pursuing actual mutually fulfilling sex. The way the man is made to feel bad and awkward for speaking out the obvious because the “guy code” states that one shouldn’t “cock block” even when what one is cock blocking is possibly an assault.
The answer is quite possibly both the young woman and his friend.
His friend?
Um… I guess. I mean, he did “save” his friend from committing a rape which is good and I guess if his friend didn’t mean to rape another person because they didn’t understand how consent works, it might prevent them from doing something that will lead them to a lifelong behavior pattern of trying to justify rape as sex in order to score toxic masculinity points on the pages of the Wall Street Journal so maybe-
Had she awakened the next day feeling regretful and violated, she could have brought him up on charges and severely disrupted his life.
Oh… right… because bitches always be lyin’ and randomly decide consensual sex was rape and ruin men’s lives because of their inherent sinfulness.
I’m sorry, I totally forgot to put that through my English to Douchebag translator. Won’t happen again.
Both of them were taking foolish risks, and it seems likely that he as well as she had impaired judgment owing to excessive drinking.
Winerip notes that between 2005 and 2010, “more than 60 percent of claims involving sexual violence handled by United Educators”–an insurance company owned by member schools–“involved young women who were so drunk they had no clear memory of the assault.”
Yeah. Duh.
Rapists often target those deemed “safer” targets, those who are deemed lesser or have a lowered probability of fighting back or having strong testimonies. Drunk people are targeted more frequently. As are those who are bed-ridden or who otherwise have handicaps. As are those who are socially considered lesser. Women of color are raped more frequently, as are people who identify as queer. Trans* people are raped even more frequently. And homeless and sex worker populations are raped even more than them at rates approaching 100%.
On a college campus where these days the population is going to be largely privileged, the largest at-risk population is going to be those who drink owing to this weird belief society seems to have surrounding the idea that drinking is “sinful” and “people who do sinful things deserve to have bad things happen to them”.
That those who are excessively drunk. And more specifically women who are excessively drunk (because drinking to excess is still seen as a male behavior that women are intruding on and who need to be discouraged with the threat of or the act of rape) are often targeted for rape happens because people are more likely to write off even clear cases of rape if someone notes that either party was drunk at the time.
The fact that we accept it and treat it like a normal aspect of parties means that when it happens, survivors know they won’t be believed and rapists know they won’t be questioned. Even when they go out of their way to try and discredit the survivor.
I was raped sober, as was my girlfriend, but one of my partner’s rapes occurred when she was drunk at a party. Despite being inebriated, she still tried to disentangle herself, put distance between herself and her rapist and repeatedly said no (all the things one is supposed to do). And yet, he still forced himself upon her. Later when she finally escaped, he gaslit her about it and convinced her to sleep on it while he claimed that she had drunkenly come on to her. The gaslighting was so bad that she convinced herself she was the wrongful party of the assault for years to follow. All because it is regularly assumed that being drunk means no fault and no rape.
We know from Sgt. Cournoyer that the accused young men typically are drinking to excess, too. What is called the problem of “sexual assault” on campus is in large part a problem of reckless alcohol consumption, by men and women alike. (Based on our reporting, the same is true in the military, at least in the enlisted and company-grade officer ranks.)
And speaking of the asshole argument, here we go on a merry round of “hey bitches, why don’t you leave our boozing alone if you know what’s good for you”. What joy.
Yeah, the rape culture and all that “sexual assault” (pfft, am i right, fellas?) is just down to people drinking and then being so drunk that they accidentally lured someone home, tripped out of their pants, and accidentally fell genitals first on top of them. I mean, that’s just a typical Saturday night, right?
I mean, when one is drunk, they are completely incapable of just refraining from sex until both parties are sober enough to consent fully, thus making the sex hotter for showing respect for the other party, right? I mean, that would be madness and akin to asking a rampaging bear to stop mauling someone to death, but in a nice neutral way that implies no aggressor or bad actor… except for the woman, because she’s a lying drunk whore.
Isn’t that so much cleaner than a society where we actually gave a fuck about consent?
Which points to a limitation of the drunk-driving analogy.
*Tweet* Red card.
No, just no. There’s no way this analogy will end well, just step off the field and come back after the suspension.
If two drunk drivers are in a collision, one doesn’t determine fault on the basis of demographic details such as each driver’s sex.
I… just… no. Just no.
I’m going to need my trusty letter separations to parse all the responses I have to this unbelievable amount of ass-ininity.
A) Yeah. Because driving on its own isn’t illegal. Hell, accidents aren’t on their own illegal. We only add extra weight to drinking and driving because it is considered reckless endangerment, a conscious choice one made to become a danger to others on the road. It’s completely unrelated to rape, which brings up…
B) The responses to drunk driving isn’t to forgive drunk driving if one crashes or one crashes into another drunk driver. So the equivalent response for rape wouldn’t be treating rape as a hilarious comedy of errors, but taking it even more seriously because one deliberately impaired one’s judgement before committing the crime.
C) Rape isn’t fucking determined according to sex, you fucking sexist prick. Men can be raped. Men can be raped by women. It just so happens that the vast majority of rapes occur against those determined to be women by society by those who are cismen. So it’s not a matter of demographic determinism or some cold attack against men, but a simple fact that YOU ASSHOLES KEEP RAPING US. And if you decided to fucking stop, maybe people would less associate assholic men with “rapist fuckwaffles”.
But when two drunken college students “collide,”
That this is your view on sex and consent says so much about you. And proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you should never be allowed a woman ever ever again.
the male one is almost always presumed to be at fault.
Yes, they are presumed to be at fault when they rape someone. Just as woman would be presumed to be at fault if she got a guy shitfaced drunk and raped him.
That’s how life works. I know, crazy, right?
His diminished capacity owing to alcohol is not a mitigating factor, but her diminished capacity is an aggravating factor for him.
Because he’s raping someone. You don’t get off the hook for raping someone just because you are drunk. Well, okay, in our society you do, but you shouldn’t. And that’s what campaigns to increase awareness of sexual assault are trying to make clear.
The fact that you interpret this as a shadow campaign against men for removing the “target a drunk chick” path of “The Game” just makes you look like the creepy guy trying to pour everclear into the punch bowl.
Ugggggggghhhhhhhhhh!
Okay, so FIRE is one of those conservative faux martyrdom groups who support those alumni conservative rags who usually plague every campus writing random hate speech about various designated minority groups and are the assholes those assholes run to when the school tries to actually step in and protest the worst of the actions.
It’s part of the big “conservatives are the real martyrs” push that they’ve been making against higher education for awhile all in service to trying to dismantle higher education and make it eat itself alive by hiring more whackaloons for “balance”.
And yeah, no points for guessing their views on rape and women. Hell, the biggest activity of FIRE is endlessly whining about sexual harassment policies because the right to put uppity bitches in their place is apparently a “free speech” issue to the kind of assholes who try and claim that Anita Sarkeesian releasing a YouTube video is an attack on their “free speech”.
In other words, they are the type of assholes who think that freedom of speech means freedom from criticism.
I don’t even need to click the link to know I’m going to dread this from the very marrow of my bones.
notes, at some campuses the accuser’s having had one drink is sufficient to establish the defendant’s guilt:
Stanford’s definition of consent to sex imposes a concept that is foreign to most people’s idea of adult consent and inconsistent with California state law. Stanford policy states that sexual assault occurs “when a person is incapable of giving consent. A person is legally incapable of giving consent . . . if intoxicated by drugs and/or alcohol.” In other words, any sexual activity while intoxicated to any degree constitutes sexual assault. This is true even if the activity was explicitly agreed to by a person capable of making rational, reasoned decisions, and even if the partners are in an ongoing relationship or marriage.
Oh fucking hell, you had to quote it didn’t you. Goddamn it, now I have to read the fucking thing. Rrgh, be right back.
Okay done. And here’s the shorter so you don’t have to:
Shorter Asshole Brigade:
- Surprise! It turns out we’re grossly miscategorizing the Stanford sexual assault policy in the hope of making us look principled in openly supporting a rapist! I know, it’s a shock that we would do this being such trustworthy New York Post quoting fuckers, but I’m afraid you’re just going to have to get used to it.
Fuck. That. Noise.
In theory that means, as FIRE notes, that “if both parties are intoxicated during sex, they are both technically guilty of sexually assaulting each other.” In practice it means that women, but not men, are absolved of responsibility by virtue of having consumed alcohol.
Oi… this shit. So yeah, as rape defenders have slowly been educated by feminists on what consent is and why rape is bad, they’ve begun trying to twist shit in order to support the main goal of making rape functionally (if not technically) legal.
And this bullshit is pretty much the icing on the cake. No, if you and a loved one have a couple of drinks and decide to get frisky with each other, that’s not fucking rape. But if you decide to fuck a person whose fading in and out and too drunk to adequately maintain consent then you really shouldn’t be fucking them and may in fact be committing rape by impairing their ability to consent with excess alcohol.
And you know what?
It’s not fucking unreasonable to expect that one is not going to be raped if they go out drinking.
In fact, most people are lucky enough to go out drinking and not be raped. More over most men will go out drinking and never even expect that they could be raped or drugged or drugged and raped. But women? Unfortunately the messages are loud and clear that we should expect to be raped and drugged and if that happens to us we are responsible for being “foolish” enough to get drunk in the first place. And that’s fucking bullshit.
And more about the fact that men like this are exploiting rape as a social phenomenon in order to discourage women from participating in public spaces rather than actually protecting women in any way.
I mean, it’s worth noting that a hell of a lot of rapes occur to people who are sober, who are conservatively dressed, who show no “mixed signals”, and accept no invitations to dark alleys.
When I was raped, I was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts that went past my knees. I was and am asexual. I was completely sober and was with my mom and partner and in a room full of people and bright lights.
None of those facts dissuaded my rapist. Because rape is not about “impairment” or “lust”, but rather power and the abuse of power for the simple fact that one can get away with it.
So it is right time we stopped making excuses and started actually fixing the problem.
That is self-evidently unjust,
Oh cry me a river.
Unjust is the fact that every rape survivor knows the penalty of daring to talk about, or bringing it up, or Bob forbid trying to prosecute and knows that the tiny off chance of taking out their rapist for a handful of years (years that will never add up to the years that the PTSD symptoms will add up to) will hurt more than one can even know and requires nerves of steel and a case so lock tight that God himself video taped the whole thing for you.
Being treated like a rapist when you try and weasel around consent as if it was a foe doesn’t even begin to compete.
yet it turns out to be a matter of high principle for many feminists.
Turns out feminists care about rape. Who knew?
Last fall Slate’s Emily Yoffe, the mother of a college-age daughter, was the target of a Two Minutes Hate for a post titled “College Women: Stop Getting Drunk,” even though she offered the same advice to college men: “If I had a son, I would tell him that it’s in his self-interest not to be the drunken frat boy who finds himself accused of raping a drunken classmate.”
…
Oh noes, victim blaming horseshit got called out as victim-blaming horseshit. Tragedy!
Also, um, those aren’t even remotely equivalent statements. Saying, hey women, don’t get drunk if you don’t want to get raped is in no ways equivalent to saying hey boys, don’t get drunk if you don’t want to be accused of rape.
In fact, the fact that she thought those were in any way equivalent is the vilest sort of garbage, not only because of the belief in the mythic “false accusation” epidemic, but because it treats the horror of rape and the years-long recovery as equivalent to a guy becoming a rapist asshole which is cynically dismissive of rape survivors’ basic humanity.
Furthermore it pretends that rape is caused by drinking instead of the presence of rapists.
Not to abuse my own story here, but I spent a night topless late at night in the middle of a city, drunk off my ass and in a tiny skirt and I was not assaulted. I was stone-cold sober, avoided most every party I could, and was dressed extremely conservatively the night I was raped.
The difference between those two nights?
One the night I was safe there was no rapist targeting me. On the night I wasn’t? There was.
I followed all the rules one is supposed to follow when I was assaulted. It didn’t make a lick of difference and I’ve had a year-plus of every night including a flashback to remind me of that fact, so yeah, fuck that victim-blaming nonsense back to the shitswamp that spawned it.
One might argue, as City Journal’s Heather Mac Donald does, that there are reasons to hold men in particular to high standards of behavior:
Oh yay, more bullshit from the professional anti-feminists. I’m sure, she’ll have very cogent arguments about the nature of consent and ending sexual assault.
A return to an ethic where manhood consisted of treating women with special courtesy would be a victory for civilization, not just for college co-eds. The chivalric ideal recognizes two ineluctable truths: men and women are different, and the sexual battlefield is tilted in favor of males. On average, males are less emotionally affected by casual sex; if given the opportunity for a series of one-off sexual encounters with no further consequences, they will tend to seize it and never look back. . . . The less that a culture signals that men have a special duty toward the fairer sex, the more likely it is that the allegedly no-strings-attached couplings that have replaced courtship will produce doubts, anguish, and recriminations on the part of the female partner and unrestrained boorishness on the part of the male.
Or you know, some Elizabethean era sexism for those sexism hipsters worried that the old school 20th century variety just wasn’t “vintage” enough for that “classic sound”.
Also fuck this “one night stands destroy women” bullshit. News flash assholes of the world. Women like sex too. Sometimes they even like more sex. They don’t like being raped. Because no one likes being raped or abused. If dating culture and “casual sex” didn’t come with a giant side-order of rapist and abusive men, I imagine a lot of women would like it even more.
It’s not about courtship or some fucking Miss Manners shit. It’s about people having the right to be treated as humans and expect a base level of bodily autonomy and a right to determine when and where and to what degree to grant consent to sex.
It’s that fucking simple.
But as Mac Donald notes, contemporary feminists “embrace the Victorian conceit of delicate female vulnerability while leaving out the sexual modesty that once accompanied it.”
Really? After that last paragraph?
IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, indeed.
Also, no, feminists acknowledge rape sucks for survivors and don’t think “well, then just fight off anyone who approaches you lest you be thought of as a slut who is open game to being raped” sounds like a fun time.
Fuck, the more conservatives talk around things as simple as consent and sex as if they were alien runes from lost civilizations, the more obvious it becomes of why the rape culture is as bad as it is.
Also, why feminists are right to couple discussions of consent with greater promotion of people taking openly about sex and what we actually want and don’t want.
That they do all this in the name of equality is downright Orwellian.
Dear readers, if ever you find yourself in a position where you are trying to argue that the notion of consent is Orwellian, please don’t hesitate to kill yourselves post haste.
Fuck, next time, no rape apologists. We’re going back to the muddy waters where I don’t have to shower myself clean after wading through the rotted mangoes.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Sure, every instance of clear-cut rape results in a giant outpouring of sympathy… for the rapist, owing to the pain that “accusations” cause, but that’s no evidence of rape culture because… um… LOOK OVER THERE, A DISTRACTION! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*I had a link I desperately wanted to include here about a girl who was being abused by her stepfather and went to the authorities to prosecute, so they told her they needed more evidence and so she filmed her next assault and they still dithered about it because “how could they know it wasn’t consensual” even though legally, by her age, she couldn’t possibly have consented, but I can’t find it again. Very fucking annoying, that.
Fust.
I accidentally bowled over a post by Provider, so you should all check that out if you haven’t already.
Ouch. That hurts. I mean we’ve got enough dick problems up here without bring associated with Taranto. Also speaking of LEAFS SUCK,
PENIS.
I’ve been staring at the winking cursor, trying to think of a useful contribution or on-topic observation. I started three paragraphs and abandoned each one, for each could easily be misconstrued. So it is probably best for me to limit myself to BOtB or later off-topic goofiness.
Cerb: At times, the general characterization of men seemed overbroad and exaggerated to me. But I suppose that is to be expected in a passionate rant on a topic so charged with traumatic personal experience.
Fenwick-
There are a huge number of awesome, great, wonderful, sweet, caring men out there. Most men in fact understand consent and treat their partners with love and respect.
If I did not spell that out in my post, I want to do that here, because this isn’t about men as a category, but rather the rape apologists who hide behind some mythic “battle of the sexes” to defend their sick rapist bullshit.
So I’ve noticed. I’m not enthusiastic about the change: Of late, the posts seem to focus on a narrowing range of topics. (Exhibit A: The title of this post.) Perhaps the ‘personal elements’ are more appropriate for a personal blog….?
While completely naked, Pennis spouted the following:
Harlan Ellison is fond of a quote from noted New York theatre critic John Simon: “There is no point in saying less than your predecessors have said.” With that in mind, I turn you over to the Beard Copilot:
And again:
But none of that matters, because Al Gore is fat and has a beard, and Michael Moore is a big fat liberal fatty who hates America and is fat.
Re: drunk driving analogy.
So the more appropriate analogy would be if the drunk driver crashed into a bar injuring people inside, who were probably drunk.
Let’s not forget, victim blaming involves passing uninformed judgements on the victims. It’s “okay” to blame the victims because they were probably bad people who deserved it for being bad people. Or maybe even liberals.
LEAFS SUCK was where Slutwalk started, after a cop informed York University students that they shouldn’t dress like sluts if they don’t want to get raped. That sentiment was echoed by our mayor’s niece, Dougie’s daughter, who told women not to dress like whores. Incidentally, she was the first captain of LEAFS SUCK’s lingerie football team.
Don’t get me wrong, people should rightly expect consequences from their actions. But “getting drunk in college” or “wearing a short skirt” leading to being sexually violated is fucking bullshit. Even without getting into the other points Cerb brings up – that modestly dressed and totally sober women get raped, or but it’s totes kosher for bros to kegger all night, there is a staggeringly crazy fucking amount of bullshit in the assertion. Also let’s gloss over the insane disproportionality in “choice of clothing” and “getting penetrated against your will”.
The bullshit is in the excuse-making for rapists. And rape apologetics will deny the charge saying that they condemn rapists too, all while not realizing that they are saying “I condemn rapists but…”. But… What? Boys will be boys? Seriously, how the fuck do you continue after that?
I guess there is a way of completing that sentence without sounding like a stupid and/or sociopathic shitbag fuckwad. “I condemn rapists but a lot of people with prominent positions in society tell me that the victim is also to blame and that has also gotta stop.”
If I leave my Audi parked in a sketchy part of town overnight and it gets stolen it’s a dumb move on my part.
It in no way, however, absolves the person who takes it of auto theft.
The car thief is still a car thief regardless of whether I was “asking for it” by parking there.
Learn to attribute, Pennis. I’m quoting Bartcop pointing out that for someone who was “brutally and violently raped” (as you said in your initial comment, before it got fed to the langoliers), Juanita Broaddrick seemed to have a lot fewer injuries immediately afterward than one might expect. Or maybe the bruises Bill Clinton left on her were the same kind left on George Zimmerman by the brutal beating Trayvon Martin supposedly gave him — the kind that don’t show up until days after the attack.
That said, and having googled “juanita broaddrick bruises”, I have to admit the possibility that she was just plain raped, even if she originally went to that hotel room willingly. I also have to admit that I didn’t in fact read the article before posting my original comment, because I figured it’d piss me off at you humans as much as it eventually did when I did try to read it, and because I didn’t think I’d need to read it to reply to your lizard-brain emissions. It might’ve stopped me from showing large and unnecessary sectors of my ass, and I’m sorry for that.
On the other hand, reposting basically the same comment after the first posting has been cut off and distributed amongst the poor doesn’t make you look like any sort of debater, at least not to me; it just makes you look petty and overcompensating.
Often girls and women wear short skirts not because of any guy but because IT’S HOT AS FUCK OUTSIDE. Given climate change, rapists should start getting used to that or stay locked up in their rooms.
Still nym-jackery standing @ 12:28. Derp, derp.
I didn’t vote for Hilary in the primaries. (Didn’t vote for her husband but that’s because I was too young to do so.)
Darth Kitten.
Sorry, someone has nym-jacked me @ 17:59 as well. The Derp Patrol is out in force today, I see.
Thanks, Obama.
Relevant: http://www.bringmethenews.com/2014/02/25/mother-of-2-boys-abused-by-priest-church-is-blaming-me/
[Sadly No!] has become a much more personal space since Cerberus and I have become the primaries. I don’t think that movement in focus represents a distraction of the mission of Sadly,No! Simply a reflection of the changes in the paradigm, addressed in other fashions. We tend to share many more personal elements of our lives.
In a case like this, the personal and the political cannot be separated. We have a political party which has sought to minimize rape and denigrate victims.
I’m a white, hetero, cis male with a college education and a job- a lot of people in my circumstances think of themselves as the “default setting” of humanity and have no empathy for persons not in our circumstances. These personal posts are invaluable for us when we seek to understand what other people are facing.
Relevant: http://www.bringmethenews.com/2014/02/25/mother-of-2-boys-abused-by-priest-church-is-blaming-me/
and further down that page, the whole thing does not stop the money from coming in possibly the biggest rape apology ever…
His diminished capacity owing to alcohol is not a mitigating factor, but her diminished capacity is an aggravating factor for him.
Apparently to Taranto they’re both mitigating factors.
This is an extremely minor note, but this shithead is referring to female college students as “co-eds”?? In 20-fucking-14?? Unless he routinely and consistently refers to male students at Bryn Mawr or other formerly all-female schools as “co-eds,” he’s just continuing the message that the men are the real students and the women aren’t. Oops, no. I see he’s referring to them as college co-eds. So I guess his disdain for the idea of educating females extends to HS (yes, I’m being hyperbolic).
Yes, I also don’t care for the -ess tacked onto job titles, partly due to the implication of “not real” I see, the historical patronizing air, and our ridiculous obsession with categorizing gender,
Yes, I also don’t care for the -ess tacked onto job titles, partly due to the implication of “not real” I see, the historical patronizing air, and our ridiculous obsession with categorizing gender,
i am endlessly annoyed by the adding of ‘lady’ to sports teams…we have a local high school whose mascot is the bulldog…so the girl teams are the lady bulldogs…although, our lady trojans isn’t really any better in ridiculousness…
Thanx to our civic-minded Public Works volunteers!
i am endlessly annoyed by the adding of ‘lady’ to sports teams
Me too.
our lady trojans
I chuckled. I imagined a reproductive freedom joke: Our Lady Trojans = the gap between what the Church teaches and what parishoners do.
“He was drinking and he really wanted me to have his wallet.”
–a defense offered by no mugger, anywhere, ever
LOL http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/gop-lobbyist-gay-players-nfl-bill
Battle-O-the-Bands from Cerb’s post, Part 1.
(Gee, these are l-o-n-g posts to cull and Cerb is always a good vein for Band Names. But now I need to get back to work!)
Wet Mossy Heart
Extra Sheen
Epidemic of False
Bag of Corpses
Find My Chi
Wrong Perp
Random Drifter
Hive Mind
Fictional Future
Dez
Proof of Satan
Because of the Phantom
Superhero Movie
Arsenic Factory
Impaired Judgment
That Would Be Madness
because the gop strongly believes that the government is already too intrusive…
ha!
That quote about “shrinking government until it’s small enough to drown in a bathtub” is not … quite … accurate. I think they want it small enough to insert in a woman’s vagina, small enough to hide in a vent to spy on the “wrong” people, etc.
I felt that if the NFL doesn’t have any morals
Where was he when it came out that the Saints’ coach was giving out “bounties” for hurting opponents?
I don’t believe the NFL has had any Morralls since Earl retired in 1976.
Yes, it is.
If it really were about common decency and civility, you wouldn’t be introducing legislation to get rid of common decency and civility–but then you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?
Side note: I couldn’t give any less of shit if we had all unisex bathrooms with stalls for every toilet. I do like privacy when I’m doing bathroom stuff.
Where was he when it came out that the Saints’ coach was giving out “bounties” for hurting opponents?
I’m guessing he was mad as hell that they put a bounty on their southern fried knucklehead Brett Fahvrey.
That quote about “shrinking government until it’s small enough to drown in a bathtub” is not … quite … accurate.
Not even close to accurate.
Watch for howling and garment rending at pre-Civil War level when these Pentagon cuts (proposed by a Republican Defense Secretary) come to the Congress.
Forced ultrasounds, forced births, efforts to get rid of access to birth control–just one short step from turning in your slut neighbor for having sex out of wedlock.
Freedom of religion good, freedom FROM religion bad, wrong religion bad, freedom…shit, I don’t even know where they’re going with this one.
Conservatives want the government to rid society of people they don’t like and not have to pay any taxes for it. They’re a bunch of psychotic half wits.
I’m all for unisex bathrooms, the sooner the better, and I’m not “the next generation.” I haven’t looked the speaker up, but it’s likely I’m older than this … person.
Also, I have news for him – we already have unisex bathrooms at many eating establishments.
If you’ve ever been on an airliner you’ve used a unisex bathroom.
I have seen a few unisex bathrooms in Europe.
There’s one room with a bunch of sinks and another that has stalls (no urinals). The doors on the stalls go floor to ceiling so privacy isn’t an issue.
I suppose, alas, it’s just that I don’t know what to say about the article Cerb’s discussing that wouldn’t end up sounding like THIS, so…
I was amused by this metaphor, though:
I think George Orwell’s head just asploded.
Countdown to bill introduced barring the NFL from moving next year’s Super Bowl out of Arizona. Because free markets. http://www.nwcn.com/sports/Service-refusal-bill-under-fire-in-Arizona-247070961.html
Also, I have news for him – we already have unisex bathrooms at many eating establishments.
Also every home, unless his wife makes him go down the hall.
Real men piss and shit out the window.
It is a wonder that human civilization developed at all, in the absence of unisex bathrooms. They should have been invented first, before we mastered fire, before language, before the wheel, or agriculture. Hindsight reveals that doing so would have eased everything else along its way. We could have reached this point a milennium faster, or two; who knows where we’d be now? (Obama wouldn’t be president, that much is clear.)
I note with deepest sadness that the apex of our moral development was reached only after what must have seemed like an eternity of waving our dicks around, spraying urine everywhere, but largely on the proto-women squatting close at hand. You didn’t dare open your mouth to pray. You couldn’t hear yourself think grand Western thoughts for all the grunting and the gays all-too-audibly ogling and raping people who didn’t have it coming.
Sorry, I meant single-sex bathrooms. Mens’ and ladies’ rooms. Early adoption of unisex bathrooms would have retarded our moral and scientific development. Too important a point not to clarify.
When you’re a male the world is your urinal.
MAY be seen as discriminatory?!
oooohhhh, i remember now…’thou shalt not bake a cake nor provide flowers for teh gheys…nor shall thou seve them a cheeseburger…
Google was thinking about setting up a big center in AZ. Imma bet words have been said in private channels.
When you’re a male the world is your urinal.
Hey now Major, that’s a rather pissy attitude to take.
Google was thinking about setting up a big center in AZ. Imma bet words have been said in private channels.
You’d win that bet:
http://azcapitoltimes.com/news/2014/02/24/apple-joins-anti-sb1062-chorus/
In a way I’m reminded of the recent Volkswagen plant story. Union-busting and refusing service to people are FREEDOM so obviously businesses and customers will flock … What?! You mean Volkswagen isn’t run by complete sociopaths, and the AZ economy would collapse if it had to depend solely on bigots? Who could have guessed.
WTF is it with taking 20 minutes to download the iOS 7.whatever? I routinely see 20Mbps and occasionally 30Mbps on my DSL. WTF Apple?
Apple does suck at a lot of stuff. Marketing is not one of them.
Man piss out side
First Mate Spunk and the lads would like to welcome all newcomers to the manly atmosphere of our vessel, and to remind said newcomers that yoga is @ 15:30 by the forecastle, and grog is always issued @ 16:45 on the poop deck. That is all.
It didn’t take that long to update the security patch for my iPad, we have AT&T DSL and I think it was only bout 5 minutes from when I initiated it in the Settings panel to when it came back to normal.
but I am somewhat troubled that iTunes on my Windoze Vaio seems to take up a lot of computing resources. You can’t sync without iTunes on it, so whatta gonna do………?
I saw his widow twankey
Stupid question on my part because I am not an expert on male physiology (hopefully the right term). I absolutely don’t want to sound like I am victim blaming or playing concern troll. How drunk does a guy have to be to not to be able to get it up? My thought is that if you can get an erection, you have to have some awareness of your actions.
Acrannymint;
if you’re too drunk to be in control of your actions, you ain’t rapin’ nobody up in here.
I don’t believe the NFL has had any Morralls since Earl retired in 1976.
Winz.
How drunk does a guy have to be to not to be able to get it up?
You’ll have to ask an expert.
It’s all about power. If the rapist dude’s so drunk he can’t get it up he’s just going to use something other than his tiny flaccid cock. This is not something rational people plan out.
Battle-O-the-Bands from Cerb’s post, Part 2
After the Suspension
Beyond a Shadow
Foolish Risks
Just Because
Faux Marty
Whackaloons
Get Used To It
Fire Notes
Alien Runes
Why does Taranto write on this topic, not just once? I really don’t get it. I hope he has no personal stake. If he wants to be contrarian, why this topic? And if he sincerely hopes to convince folks, what is the public benefit — since (as Cerb says) false accusations are not a big problem, they pale in comparison to other windmills one could tilt against?… There’s a market for this type of writing, I guess, but wow, unless you get a big bonus, why get the hands so dirty.
Battle-O-the-Bands from Comments
Beard Copilot
Slutwalk
Lingerie Football
Langoliers
Lizard Brain
Darth Kitten
Default Setting
Hyperbolic
Our Lady Trojans
Go Along Get Along
Hide in a Vent
Fried Knucklehead
Psychotic Half
Bunch of Sinks
Floor to Ceiling
Orwell’s Head
Down to Bill
We Mastered Fire
Private Channels
Forecastle & Grog
Back to Normal.
Widow Twankey
It’s sheer evil, I tell you!
Real men piss and shit out the window.
A friend of mine once shared a house with a guy who claimed “Real men don’t flush”. He was married and had two teenage sons – I imagine his wife visited the bathroom a dozen times a day just to flush for them.
It’s sheer evil, I tells you, sheer evil.
No, really.
They told me that if I voted for Sarah Palin we’d see stars…………and they were right!
Cerb another awesome one, oh and never hesitate to go “bowling.”
Fenwick, I will ,generally speaking, write about whatever inspires me at any given time, and while it seems that my fortune seems to have momentarily taken a turn for the better, and given that I am a sharing type I am particularly inspired to write about that.
The muse that guides me, who has been on vacation for a while seems to have returned.
If what I post is of little interest, scroll on by and consider my offering a “fresh comment thread delivery vector.”
Given that I currently have no internet at the bat cave there are constraints and time pressures that have an impact on what I have written lately. This is not an entirely bad thing, as it has forced me into thinking about other ways to skin the cat. It is a pain in the ass when I come up with an idea at 4 in the morning that requires immediate research to see whether the premise in question is plausible or not.
Also, too, my creative output tends to the extemporaneous and ephemeral, so if I can’t get to a signal, the shit is likely lost to the ether.
Anyway, love the BoB gag, and will try to do more wingnut cratering in the future.
…
Wait. Sex is supposed to be mutually fulfilling?
Also, too. A pad and paper by the bedside might help, P_UNE.
Stupid question on my part because I am not an expert on male physiology (hopefully the right term). I absolutely don’t want to sound like I am victim blaming or playing concern troll. How drunk does a guy have to be to not to be able to get it up? My thought is that if you can get an erection, you have to have some awareness of your actions.
i’ve always wondered about men being the victim, but also, i don’t know the physiology, but can men get erections against their will? and wouldn’t whiskey dick play a role?
can men get erections against their will?
It is a thing no outsider may know except those very few who have been involved. A man understands, but even we do not speak of it among ourselves. It is a deeply personal thing.
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/can-erections-happen-when-youre-not-sexually-aroused
What kind of white person refers to themselves as Caucasian if neither they nor their ancestors come from the Caucaus mountains?
(sorry for feeding the troll but that term is a pet peeve of mind.)
We shield it with ritual and customs shrouded in antiquity.
Heh. The Myths of Charles Krauthammer: The Drinking Game
Plus, nobody says Afro-American anymore.
Way back when I used to search out and refer to young white skinned American men as “cute young white boys with drugs who like to get fucked.” So there’s that.
My point exactly.
I am a white girl.
It’s an allusion to a movie title.
Yes.
had a Republican had pandered to a black audience
I’ll reserve judgement for such a time as when this might actually happen. Of course, before you can pander to a black audience you must be able to attract a black audience. I don’t expect that a Republican will manage to do this within my lifetime.
Haha, now future readers will forever wonder what I was saying yes to.
Haha, now future readers will forever wonder what I was saying yes to.
You mean people like Smut Clyde? He lives in the future.
Haha, now future readers will forever wonder what I was saying yes to.
I am assuming it was a Molly Bloom tribute.
He lives in the future.
So not true. For tax reasons, I have to spend at least 50% of my time living in the past.
I am assuming it was a Molly Bloom tribute.
so joyce is to blame for men always thinking women mean yes!
Republicans DO pander to a black audience. It’s really, really, small and must remain so, lest it lose its contrarian, elitist appeal. It’s the black guys (I think it’s mostly guys) who believe the vast majority are on the “democrat plantation” and are aborting their babies to spare racist democrats the trouble of genocide. Stuff like that. So yeah, a handful of douchebags who think republican messaging is dead-on. And because white republicans also like republican messaging, the consensus is that they just have to convince all the OTHER black people to think like Herman Cain et al.
disingenuous, they name is eric turner…
Breaking: A federal judge rules Texas gay marriage ban unconstitutional.
Just to be clear: I was citing the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment before it was cool to cite the equal protection clause…
Breaking: A federal judge rules Texas gay marriage ban unconstitutional.
What’s that sound? Does anyone else hear dominos?
Republicans DO pander to a black audience. It’s really, really, small and must remain so, lest it lose its contrarian, elitist appeal.
Exactly. The actual audience is small, but they do pander to black people all the time. Black people are every bit as capable of elitist, NIMBY, social fascism as white people. I would guess the percentage of them that think that way is significantly smaller than among whites.
What’s that sound? Does anyone else hear dominos?
I TOOK MY UNDERWEAR OFF FOR THE SLIDE DOWN THIS SLIPPERY SLOPE AND I LIKE IT
Oooh! Imma hafta try this. http://www.splendidtable.org/recipes/saucisson-of-pork-tenderloin?elq=3127f389b52541a8ac7c5da8d7066ae3&elqCampaignId=5708
Jacques Pepin’s ridiculously easy tenderloin saucisson.
From bbkf’s linkkk:
3 possibilities:
1) You didn’t know because you think everyone is as stupid as you
2) You were hoping nobody would notice until it was too late
3) You just a fucking complete moron who has never read the Constitution. (Yet frequently cites the title of it as the reason you’re a hater fool.)
Nifty name: One of plaintiffs in the Texas ruling is named Cleopatra De Leon. She is also an AF vet: 4 years active, 6 in National Guard.
I TOOK MY UNDERWEAR OFF FOR THE SLIDE DOWN THIS SLIPPERY SLOPE AND I LIKE IT
you said you never made a porno!
What’s that sound? Does anyone else hear dominos?
since this is texas, i thought it was the sound of jaws dropping…
you said you never made a porno!
Never to late to start.
Another plaintiff, Maj (ret) Victor Holmes, is a 23-year AF veteran.
So does this make the Air Force the gayest of armed forces? (Maj Kong has some esplaning to do!) Another interpretation is the Air Force vets are fiercely determined….
FTFY
What an interesting world…
Since FacePlace changed to allow users to choose their own gender category I’ve heard more discussions of trans* issues than at any time in my past…meaning the discussion has moved to the mainstream.
This may be a breakthrough on par with the way gay marriage broke out last year.
Cerb, let me be among the first to welcome you to the boring middle. Imma just assume it’s not premature.
I don’t think stupidity itself is to blame, though if brains were taxed he’d have zero liability. It’s from living in a bubble where his fellow residents are blind and deaf to anyone and everything outside. He didn’t realize there’d be a shit storm because he has empathy level: zero.
i am firmly behind choice number 2…that little fucker knew what he was doing…he just didn’t expect anyone else (meaning, those outside his bubble) to notice until it was too late…
Battle-O-the-Bands from Comments, Part 2
Other Windmills
Big Bonus
Sheer Evil
Go Bowling
Delivery Vector
Whiskey Dick
Hormones Surge
Shrouded in Antiquity
Forever Wonder
People Like Smut
Molly Bloom
Joyce Is To Blame
Think Like Herman
Ear Dominos
Slippery Slope
Easy Tenderloin
Speaking of bands,
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2014/02/26/frontman-of-prominent-christian-metal-band-pleads-guilty-in-murder-for-hire-plot-to-kill-his-wife/
Yeah, me too.
And Fenwick, I don’t know how I went from “Go Bowling” to “Come Dancing,” but I have a new earworm.
“I didn’t quite understand the firestorm it would create,” Rep. Eric Turner, the provision’s author, told the House Ways and Means Committee.
Another firestorm? In the name of buggrit, dudes, get a new cliche.
So does this make the Air Force the gayest of armed forces?
Nah, it has to be the Navy. The Village People didn’t have a song called “In the Air Force”.
but I have a new earworm.
damn you…
Dresden said,
Another firestorm? In the name of buggrit, dudes, get a new cliche.
Amen brother!
damn you…
There are FAR worse earworms…
For example:
Red, red wine…
It’s up to you
All I can do I’ve done
Mem’ries won’t goeeoh…
Pup: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/01/07/satanists-unveil-design-for-statehouse-statue/
Pastafarians (FSM) also want in on the action….
– – – – – – –
Btw, CPAC rescinded permission for American Atheists to attend.
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/02/25/cpac-reverses-decision-will-not-allow-atheists-at-conservative-conference/
– – – – – – –
I tried to use OBS’s Link-to-Text Alchemy, but for some reason I couldn’t get it to work today. OK: I just double-checked the formula, and I see where I screwed up. But I’m too lazy to re-do the Comment, so I’ll just push the Submit button
For example:
i’m feeling junkpunchy…
Thunderstruck, from the very,very early days:
Rick Perry has a sad. Texas AG–& GOP candidate for governor–will appeal to the 5th Circuit. Also the judge put a stay on his ruling, so for the time being, still no gay marriages in Texas.
Fuckety-fuck fuck. Maybe I need coffee to jump-start my brane.
Pending the jump-start, I fixed your links.
From Fenwick’s link:
That’s mighty big talk coming from a state that’s 0-1 in disputes with the Federal Government.
OBS: Tanks!
Represent!
Holla!
“Texans spoke loud and clear by overwhelmingly voting to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman in our Constitution, and it is not the role of the federal government to overturn the will of our citizens,” Perry said.
He went on to threaten secession yet again.
“Texans spoke loud and clear by overwhelmingly voting to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman in our Constitution, and it is not the role of the federal government to overturn the will of our citizens,” Perry said.
it is if the will of the citizens is unconstitutional, dipshit…
If the citizens decided to kill their governor by ballot measure, maybe you’d be glad the federal bench put a stop to it…? Meh, maybe not. No telling what a true believer will die for..
Brewer keeps sanity streak alive.
Thank the devil!
POOP
Brewer keeps sanity streak alive.
imma bit surprised…happy, but surprised at ol’ nutbar jan…although i wish she would have just ignored the bill…the would have been kind of awesome…
If she didn’t veto it, bbfk, it would’ve been law, so she couldn’t have ignored it.
Breaking: A federal judge rules Texas gay marriage ban unconstitutional.
What’s that sound? Does anyone else hear dominos?
As Joe Biden would put it, this is a big fucking deal.
One person said something, hence “definitive.”
One person said something, hence “definitive.”
Not even that. It would have been awesome to see the NFL pull the Big Bowl, Google and Apple to change their plans, and so on. Not to mention the storm of court cases where Cathol;ics refuse service to Protestants and Jews, et fucking cetera.
Not to mention the storm of court cases where Cathol;ics refuse service to Protestants and Jews, et fucking cetera.
I live in Yonkers, and no self-respecting bartender would ever refuse service to a patron of drinking age, regardless of centuries of conflict.
Now learned men who use the pen,
Have sung the praises high
Of the rare poitin from Ireland green,
Distilled from wheat and rye.
Put away with your pills, it’ll cure all ills,
Be ye Pagan, Christian or Jew,
So take off your coat and grease your throat
With a bucket of the Mountain Dew.”
Everyone be patient. Our splendid volunteer Public Works specialists will drop by eventually. Until then: Just leave it alone. Do not provoke. Do not feed.
This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the Gizmonic Institute.
Done and done!
…
Just noticed the mouseover text. Hehe.
If she didn’t veto it, bbfk, it would’ve been law, so she couldn’t have ignored it.
every news report i heard leading up to it getting to her desk said she had 3 options: sign it, veto it or ignore it…and now that i type that i see where the ignoring part comes in…she could just ignore it and it would become law, thereby giving her the option of saying, ‘i didn’t sign that bill’…
d’oh…i don’t like that at all…it would be way more awesome for asshat bills dying an ignominous death…
As Joe Biden would put it, this is a big fucking deal.
the enormity of the texas ruling and ol’ nutbar jan not signing the discrimination bill just hit me this morning…i actually larfed last night when i heard a snippet of rush claiming, ‘ooh, poor jan, she’s been bullied by the homosexuals! and liberals! that’s the only reason she vetoed…bullies!!!’ wait a tick! i thought people like rush didn’t believe in bullies or bullying…it’s just life, kid…and life ain’t fair…suck it up…and quit being a wuss…
haha, rush limbaugh’s a big fat old wuss who whines about bullying!!!
i always thought that pup would have at least 20 more years before he thought about moving to a warm weather state, but this may be a game changer…
I’m not a huge fan of Arizona.
Politics aside, Phoenix is a mess of sprawl and freeways these days. They even have smog. It’s like LA minus the ocean.
Tucson is OK but I still don’t think I’d want to live there.
I’m not a huge fan of Arizona.
me either…the only two spots i like there is a goodwill in mesa and the pool at my mom’s rv park…otherwise, i could leave it…i will go back again only because i want hubbkf to check out sedona and jerome…
Read a book called City On Fire. All about how Phoenix is the least sustainable city in this hemisphere, an ongoing eco disaster. And fragile, could crash and burn with the addition of a straw.
I got my BA in Flagstaff and lingered a few years past it. Met the wife there. Decent enough town. Spent tons of time in the Sedona area. Used to spend every chance I got hiking among the red rocks, or in Oak Creek Canyon, gettin’ stoned. Halcyon days. I think I’ll own some property there, if I understand my inheritance.
Phoenix sucks balls, tho — it’s a generic development-slash-strip mall writ large — and the AZ political climate is the pits. There are reasonable people, but not quite enough.
Politics aside, Phoenix is a mess of sprawl and freeways these days. They even have smog. It’s like LA minus the ocean.
I developed a love for Phoenix when I was stationed at Yuma Proving Ground. But then I was 19, had a fake ID and spent a lot of time in Tempe (Arizona State University) and Mexicali, Mexico. I still love Arizona, the scenery, the landscape, the climate, the cultural mix, the food…
But their politics are just short of outright fascism these days. The fact that a useless fucking toolbag like Sheriff Joe still has a job in law enforcement says about everything you need to know about Arizona. I want to be happy that Brewer didn’t sign that bill, but we all know the real motivation was money. If she thought there wouldn’t have been a financial backlash, she would have signed that thing without hesitation.
Unleash the homo demons!
My involvement at USAYPG for interested parties:
Testing of the (then) new M1A1 Abrams tank, M2 Bradley Cav tank, other wheeled and tracked equipment that don’t exist…
It was pretty fun, aside from the 6 straight months of 110+ heat. Yuma is at or near sea level, and in a daily battle with Needles, CA for the hottest place in the US.
so this is still a thing?
It’s fairly obvious what Pastor Manning is referring to. It’s common knowledge that Barry is a homosexual, there’s a reason why his nickname in Chicago was Bathhouse Barry, google it. The white man is Larry Sinclair, the male prostitute that Obama had multiple romantic rendezvous with. It amazes me how you guys, who voted for him, have no idea who he is.
All about how Phoenix is the least sustainable city in this hemisphere, an ongoing eco disaster.
“You people live in a fucking desert!” – Sam Kinison
Politics aside, Phoenix is a mess of sprawl and freeways these days. They even have smog. It’s like LA minus the ocean.
Or Atlanta minus groundwater.
‘Obama has released the homo demons on the black man’
HOT.
‘Obama has released the homo demons on the black man’
HOT.
it’s gotta be better than the kraken…
I don’t know, that would be pretty hot too.
Obama is a fucking racist. No homo demons for us white guys. I WANT HOMO DEMONS TOO!!
It’s common knowledge that Barry is a homosexual, there’s a reason why his nickname in Chicago was Bathhouse Barry, google it.
It’s common knowledge that Ronald Reagan routinely at puppy brains and kitten livers for dinner and often had consensual sex with his pet donkey. Google it. (Wait 15 minutes while I set up a website with all the proof you’ll need)
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d sorta like a homo demon being shoved down my thro—OH GOD DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
Somebody put together a list of the national cuisines available on the streets of Portland.
Guam, Mauritius, Trinidad, Ethiopia, Argentina, Brazil, England, Scotland, El Salvador, Colombia, Venezuela, China, Georgia, Poland, Czech Republic, France, Germany, Greece, Nepal, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Italy, Japan, Korea, Lebanon, Egypt, Mexico, Morocco, Norway, Philippines, Fiji, Peru, Canada, Uruguay, Romania, Thailand, Turkey, Portugal, Vietnam and Australia.
So many I HAVEN’T been to!
t’sam has been having fun on that slippery slope, it would seem.
step on up to t’sam’s slippery slope…tonight’s feature is authentic scottish haggis infused with nepalese, norwegian and thai flavors…and for your entertainment, your very own homo demon!
I still just want a good steak. You can keep the Norwegian food.
Somebody put together a list of the national cuisines available on the streets of Portland.
Is “annoying hipster” a nationality?
That’s no slope.
I still just want a good steak. You can keep the Norwegian food.
steak is good, but rommegrot is pretty awesome too…
and krumkake…yum!
Meatballs of pork and beef, gjetost sauce, surkal (sweet/sour cabbage) wrapped in lefse is pretty damn good.
Meatballs of pork and beef, gjetost sauce, surkal (sweet/sour cabbage) wrapped in lefse is pretty damn good.
ermergerd i bet it is…hubbkf just picked up some pork and beef mixture at the butcher’s…i may have to give it a whirl this weekend…can i modify some homemade sauerkraut for the sweet & sour cabbage?
i hear the gjetost makes an excellent fondue as well…
bbkf said,
February 27, 2014 at 19:15
‘Obama has released the homo demons on the black man
HOT.
it’s gotta be better than the kraken…
tigris said,
February 27, 2014 at 19:17
I don’t know, that would be pretty hot too.
Oh, yeah, think of all the suckers that the kraken has on its tentacles… IBIMB…
and krumkake…yum!
Swedish for bukkake?
Swedish for bukkake?
ew…not that kind of filling…
Obama is a fucking racist. No homo demons for us white guys. I WANT HOMO DEMONS TOO!!
Pup, Pup, Pup… you are the homo demons! Now, go out and put a penis in the pastor.
i hear the gjetost makes an excellent fondue as well…
Just don’t burn the neighborhood down.
Ya know, Fenwick, “Destiny’s Child” is a band, already, and I bet the owners of the “Ghostbusters” franchise would object to a band of that name, space or no.
A good band name: THE WIDENIN’ GYRES
(I do not care for two “g” sounds back to back.)
Note that in the list of national cuisines, SAfrica is noticeable for its absence. Lousy food, lousy government, great scenery, great people. My country ’tis of thee.
Lousy food did not keep England, Scotland or Nepal off the list.
I am disappoint. Hömo Demons may be the best band name EVAR! Also disappointing is the failure of a certain upsideydowney gentleman ( if I may use the word so loosely) to supply an appropriate homo demon illustration.
I live in Yonkers, and no self-respecting bartender would ever refuse service to a patron of drinking age, regardless of centuries of conflict.
What, they would even serve a Campbell??!
‘Obama has released the homo demons on the black man’
Worst remake of “Night of the Demon” EVAH, but someone needs to make it anyway, just for tigris.
I suppose they did, Fenwick, but that doesn’t mean we can up and form a band called Destiny’s Child, much as we might like to.
Ok, ok. Destiny’s Stepchild it is then.
Food porn for the culinarily inept- pao de queijo– thirty seconds of blenderizing, twenty minutes in the oven, and you will have the best damn cheesy poofs EVER!!!
Bonus BotB: Best Damn Cheesy Poofs
What, they would even serve a Campbell??!
They’d even serve a Clyde! They might not serve a Paisley, though.
Ok, ok. Destiny’s Stepchild it is then.
How about Density’s Child?
Would they serve a Thatcher?
I don’t think there’s a way to prepare Thatcher without the dish ending up being all tough and stringy and nasty and completely inedible. I bet my dog wouldn’t even eat it.
A Thatcher is best served in a vintage German stein, circa 1938.
from b^4’s burning cheese link up yonder:
yay, kentucky!
Why not make gougeres? Bonus; no damn cassava.
El M : As I understand it, B4’s whole thing was that his way just required throwing everything in the blender and Viola! Whereas your Frenchified way would entail making choux pastry which is not for the faint of heart or short of time.
CRA sayeth: Ya know, Fenwick, “Destiny’s Child” is a band, already, and I bet the owners of the “Ghostbusters” franchise would object to a band of that name, space or no.
Unfortunately our resident underpass dweller has been nymjacking fenwick most of the morning. Fucking shitbag derpoclese slinks in to jack when it knows that one of us has finished a shift: Read, returned to a life worth living or gone to sleep.
…
Nonsense! Pate a choux takes almost no time at all. Boil some butter and water, add flour, stir madly. OF COURSE you put some salt in there too, what are ya a fekkin idjit? Toss it in a stand mixer (or food processor fitted with the plastic blade but pulse carefully) Beat some motherfucking eggs in there. Dump into a piping bag and make some profiteroles, or éclairs. Yummm, chocolate éclairs with silky custard!
Nonsense! Pate a choux takes almost no time at all. Boil some butter and water, add flour, stir madly. OF COURSE you put some salt in there too, what are ya a fekkin idjit? Toss it in a stand mixer (or food processor fitted with the plastic blade but pulse carefully) Beat some motherfucking eggs in there. Dump into a piping bag and make some profiteroles, or éclairs. Yummm, chocolate éclairs with silky custard!
you really, really need your own show…
and now endeth the food talk…i passed up chocolate three fricking times today and i’m ready to cave! plus i didn’t peel my jicama enough and jicama peel is gross…
peeling the jicama…
Ouch. Hit a patch of ice in the parking lot.
Back, meet pavement. Pavement, meet Back.
hitting a patch…
Food porn for the culinarily inept- pao de queijo- thirty seconds of blenderizing, twenty minutes in the oven, and you will have the best damn cheesy poofs EVER!!!
Do we really need to throw chum in the waters in the hunt for the child of Lucifuurianne™?
However, color me hungrified.
…
also, major…hope you didn’t do permanent damage to the back…back pain sucks big balls…
Nonsense!
Note to self: Mine the comments for pupMax food pron, publish the book and retire in style.
I can cook, and well, but never let it be said that if the pup and I should enjoy some time together in meatspace that I will not hesitate to be his kitchen ‘bitch.’
Jesus Pup, that sounds delicious.
I am working backward through the comments to catch up in cas anyone was wondering. Also to, a trip to another jamming venue awaits. Had second rehearsal with new band (remembered how I dealt with the crazy guitarist the first and second time we played together) and there is no doubt we will be ready to rock a house, come April.
…
Two things, Uppity. You guys nym-jacked me first, early and often, with your full knowledge and blessing.
Two things, Jackass: Pictures or it didn’t happen, and I had nothing to do with it.
Secondly, is that really the cross on which you want to perish, really?!?!?!?
.
What I wouldn’t give for a Moriarty. Jeebus H.
…
Why not make gougeres? Bonus; no damn cassava.
90% my laziness, and 10% their chewiness.
Tengrain posted an easy pâte à choux recipe.
I want a chicken-based dough recipe, a pâte à chook, if you will.
Back, meet pavement. Pavement, meet Back.
I presume from the description that you managed to keep your head off of the pavement, in which case, nice work.
Had my first feet above head moment after a similar meeting with hidden ice earlier this year. I was feeling it for about a week. Luckily, I also managed to avoid the head shot.
To be honest, I can’t believe it took so long.
…
MockPaperScissors has always been a non de blog that I have envied. Is Tengrain still hanging with WaterTiger?
…
hope you didn’t do permanent damage to the back
Not too bad. No worse than how I feel after a week of flying.
Most importantly I didn’t break the two bottles of wine that were in my shopping bag. I have my priorities.
Two things, Uppity. You guys nym-jacked me first, early and often, with your full knowledge and blessing.
Link.
Tengrain’s éclair method? Fine but I have to say here what I said over there.
MockPaperScissors has always been a non de blog that I have envied. Is Tengrain still hanging with WaterTiger?
i may have found a new addiction…
As Pup indicated making gougeres is no more work than that manioc goo recipe plus the gluten in wheat flour will hold better cheeses (cave aged gruyere is good). Still cheesy poofs are cheesy poofs. Tapioca is excellent as a gel for fruit pies and tarts but for the most part I find it weird. And that browned crumble of it that Bahians sprinkle on everything is NOT PERMITTED.
Using gougeres as the buns for bacon/oyster mini-sammiches (Judy Rodgers RIP) is just too exciting for most people.
Here tonight; fresh made fettucine w/venison bolognese.
Open that motherfucking box and pour the goddamn noodles into boiling water. You fucking know you need to add a little salt to lower the boiling temperature–that’s science you punkass bitch.
Drain those whores, add milk, butter (NOT FUCKING MARGERINE BECAUSE GROSS) and the packet of cheese powder.
Best served with poverty and shame.
MBouffant’s food reports are my favorites.
Using gougeres as the buns for bacon/oyster mini-sammiches (Judy Rodgers RIP) is just too exciting for most people.
Amen. We have a number of chefs that passed through Zuni but two in particular, Bruce Carey and Chris Israel, were real products of Zuni. They carry on Judy Rodgers’ spirit.
Here tonight, goulash the way I learned to make it in Vienna. With Serviettenknödeln. Also a salad. Toying with idea of making apple fritters, hafta see. I do have ice cream so …
PENIS (cakes and gay wedding orgies)
That is an excellent blog and sadlies will probably recognize certain folks in the comments.
I remain disappointed in the lack of an apt homo demon (huh, reminds me of Kluwes’ “lustful cockmonster”) illustration.
And that browned crumble of it that Bahians sprinkle on everything is NOT PERMITTED.
This farofa fascism WILL NOT STAND!!!
I love the stuff.
MockPaperScissors has always been a non de blog that I have envied. Is Tengrain still hanging with WaterTiger?
That is an excellent blog and sadlies will probably recognize certain folks in the comments.
Tengrain is a great guy- I call him the Patron Saint of Small Bloggers, he is unfailingly supportive.
This demands a parody, and I have the germ of it.
What is BUTTCOIN and how does it work?
A form of money independent of traditional banking. No central authority governs the supply. Its value depends on people’s confidence in it, and the mean fiber content of associated diets.
How are BUTTCOINS created?
Humans excrete them. Only feces of verifiably human origin qualifies. Since their value depends on weight, they are divisible. New buttcoins are constantly minted, but old ones leave circulation upon becoming structurally unsound.
What happened to Mt. Lax?
All we know is that over 750,000 buttcoins are missing due to “malleability-related theft.”
ETC.
A savvy merchant can bite into a buttcoin to determine if it’s real; everyone else relies on smartphone apps.
Dammit how come I’m never the first to think of something. I thunk it better, I’ll warrant.
I’m pretty sick of listicles but this has lots of lulz in it. Big points for making Johnny Thunders the poster boy.
an apt homo demon (huh, reminds me of Kluwes’ “lustful cockmonster”) illustration.
NAG NAG NAG.
I hope this dude is sufficiently Fabulous.
Moar presents for Pupienus.
Hmmm. I was nym-jacked by the troll, huh? That seems sorta cold after I thanked it for the moritorium after Mandela’s death. Also wished it Happy New Year.
Based on CRA’s comment [20:49] about ‘Destiny’s Child’ and ‘Ghostbusters’, I assume it tried to fabricate a Battle-O-the-Bands. To avoid the con, here is another of FENWICK’S RULES for BOtB:
Avoid plausible names of real-word bands.
All you can do is guess. Might some pub-and-club band be using this name? If I’m not sure, my solution is to have it accompanied by one other word. Example: I can imagine a HS garage band using Arsenic as a band name …. but Arsenic Factory is prolly safe. Therefore my BOtB lists tend to have two-word names.
————–
You folks have really been cookin’ since the last BOtB! (SWIDT?). That means there will be a slew of culinary names in the next list. (Or lists. There must be 100+ Comments since the last BOtB! I may have to chop that in two.)
Here’s my methodology for those who are interested. First I ketchup the thread like always, reading all the Comments and (usually) following the links. When I’m ready to create a BOtB list, I return to the ketchup point and go through the thread again copying candidate names down to the List (and convert to Band Name capital letters). Therefore the List is arranged chronologically, in the order I encountered them. (Thus the next List will have a bunch of adjacent culinary band names.)
So I read Sadly No! twice. So every Commenter should know that at least one reader is paying close attention to what you write. Fenwick never skims.
I do my visits to Sadlytown when I need to take a break from Middle Earth. I hit a hot streak, so the Comments have really piled up in the meantime. (Or should that be ‘meanwhile’?) Indeed, just writing this extended Comment has absorbed much of my break time–I’ve had two cups of coffee–so I’d best return to my writing now. (Bye-the-bye, my current tale is set in antiquity, back in the Second Age.)
————–
Major: Glad you weren’t injured!
t’sam: (((Do we hafta use the apostrophe now? It’s a clever relic of the apostrophe joke, but it is an extra key-stroke…and I’m just too damn lazy. ))) I still envy your Abrams expeditions at Yuma. I’ve always wanted to drive a tank!
Also wanted to be a passenger in a fighter doing safe and simple stunts.
Btw, I was also stationed in Arizona: I did my advanced training at the Military Intellinge school in Fort Huachuca, which is SE of Tucson, about 20 miles from the Mexican border. Fort WeGotcha is an old cavalry post; the Fort command and admin are in the original buildings. It is nestled at the foot of the Huachuca Mountains, from which it gets its name.
I developed a love for southwestern deserts and mountains there. (Also got to see the desert bloom in the fleeting ‘rainy’ season!…rode on horseback into Blacktail Canyon. It was a spectacular day.) I handlle dry heat well. Huge difference between humid heat in Baltimore, and dry heat in Albuquerque.
correct spelling: Intelligence
Also dropped some words; easy to parse given context.
I’m pretty sick of listicles but this has lots of lulz in it. Big points for making Johnny Thunders the poster boy.
Called number one as soon as I read the title. Poor Syd.
Fort Huachuca was totally not where I didn’t get courts martialed
tsam: Shit. For the provoked punch in the civilian bar?
That seems sorta cold after I thanked it for the moratorium after Mandela’s death. Also wished it Happy New Year.
I think he has a crush on you, Fenwick. Or, my comments being few and far between these days, perhaps it occured to the mass of disordered neurons that passes for his brain that you’d be a more suitable target than moi.
Good night, moon. Good night, Fenwick. Good night everyone else.
No-unrelated matter
tsam: Hope I didn’t provoke any bad memories. I just took a stab (SWIDT?) and remembered your story about the dust-up in the bar.
————–
I hope that is not the case. Anyway, I couldn’t respond because I’m totes hetero; I’ve always taken invitation-to-intimacy cues from women, which the very essence of of Consent. (Wow! Stop the presses! Fenwick writes something ON-Topic!).
Rather, I believe I was simply a target of opportunity.
I mean, really, I don’t put up many political comments. Mostly I fiddle with the BOtB; pass on amusing or descriptive links; or thank / praise / endorse other Sadlies’ views. Also Questions Barrages from time-to-time because I’m a curious person. (I love ambiguous phrases!) Also toss in random Autobiography tenuously tied to the topic or a comment. Taken altogether, that doesn’t give a politcal nym-jacker much to work with. I’m either too predictable … or too unpredicable.
As most of Sadlyville knows, I despise the Clintons [plural], Obama, and the Democratic Party. But Sadlies know that thereasons for my contempt are probably 180 degrees opposite from the troll’s.
Moreover, I loathe Republicans; the American Taliban; destruction of civil liberties; the constipated greed of libertarians; corporate oligarchy; climate-change denialists; 1% plutocracy; American exceptionalism; the American Empire; anti-science dimbulbs…and, well, you get the point. I doubt the troll shares any of these political views.
For that matter, I think the US governmental structure is a two-century-old Rube Goldberg relic. Nearly every country on the globe uses some variant of the parliamentary system. So, nope, Fenwick does NOT believe the Founders were gods, much less instruments of God.
Oh Noes! Treason!
Once again, writing this long Comment–and a necessary one–has eaten up most of my break. So no BOtB for a while. Whenever, I get to It’s going to be a monster list. I’ll prolly break it in two
Constipated Greed …
On a tangential note, Fenwick – did you ever get a chance to take in the Mütter Museum while you were in the Mid-Atlantic? Human physiological oddities, including the colon of a guy who took took constipation to extreme and ultimately fatal lengths. I’d do a POOP link, but the website’s unavailable at the moment, so I can’t see if that’s one of the things on their site.
VCarl: Nope. Only visited Philly once, at the invitation of a college friend who lived there. Did the usual highlights in the Historical District + a trip to Valley Forge. But I got the idea for the first short story I every wrote while watching an equestrian event in Philadelphia. Also spent 4 days at Cape May (offseason) … which sorta counts because Philly’s wealthy elite built splendid Victorian ‘summer cottages’ there.
I don’t the Muller would be an attraction for me; but the Penn Museum could be a blast: I like archeology.
Battle-O-the-Bands from Comments, Part 3
Sound of Teeth
Submit Button
Junkpunchy
Grit Dudes
If Brains Were Taxed
Zero Liability.
Living in a Bubble
Tokyo Said
Peshtigo
Sanity Streak
Nutbar Jan
Grease Your Throat
Gizmonic Institute
Wait a Tick
Just Life Kid
20 More Years
Mess of Sprawl
Minus the Ocean
Pool at My Mom’s
Time in Tempe
That’s 20 bands. My next start point is 18:33 (27th). I’m a DAY behind … and I haven’t even reached the culinary stuff!
Latest twist in the Ukraine / Russia situation: Crimean airfields. Also, the Russian Black Sea Fleet is based in Crimea (extended leases from Ukraine, I believe). The Crimean peninsula is strategic real estate of major importance.
The moves were reminiscent of Cold War brinksmanship.
I mean really, what could possibly go wrong?
They’re probably busy with the homo demons getting ready to have some homo nups next month.
Battle-O-the-Bands from Comments, Part 4
Battle with Needles
Better than the Kraken
Puppy Brains
Infused with Nepalese
Keep the Norwegian
Wrapped in Lefse
Swedish for Bukkake
Pup Pup Pup
Widenin Gyre
Upsideydowney
Demon Illustration
Density’s Child
Cheesy Poofs
Bet My Dog
Burning Cheese
Everything in the Blender
Slinks in to Jack
Stir Madly
Silky Custard
Moriarty Jeebus
Another twenty bands. Let’s see: I’m ready for 23:53 (27th). Can you peeples use cliches and clunky language for a while? Going at your present rate, I can’t ever ketchup!
Jake: Are you suggesting that the Battle-O-the-Bands is driving people away from Ville du Sadlie? I shirley hope not! I thought the BOtB is pretty innocuous gag; perhaps fun for Commenters to see fragments from their own text transmogrified into goofy names. I imagined BOtB as a Sadlyville feature, not a bug. Any thoughts from the Sadlies (or lurkers)? Discontinue? Continue?
Keep it going. IME, any suggestions that so-and-so is responsible for the decline in commentators and/or the quality of their comments is usually posted by the Derp Patrol, if you know what I mean.
FWIW, the real poster’s name is Halloween Jack, not Jake.
Battle-O-the-Bands from Comments, Part 5 (and prolly the last)
Eclair Method
Whisk Until Smooth
Goo Recipe
Buns for Bacon
Passed Through Zuni
Mean Fiber
Listicles
Ketchup Point
Bunch of Adjacent
Clever Relic
Apostrophe Joke
Extra Key
Simple Stunts
Dry Heat
Easy to Parse
Disordered Neurons
Questions Barrage
Random Autobiography
Constipated Greed
Old Rube
Crimean Airfields
Transmogrified Into Goofy
Okay, I’m done. Seriously: I want feedback from Sadlies: Continue? Discontinue?
No, No, No, I am the real Halloween Jock. the others are impostors! ripoffs! possibly French!
Thanx tigris. Also should have added Halloween Jake to the BOtB.
Fenwick, the battle of the bands is good, but it gets old quick, Perhaps if you told us a little about your favorite bands of the battle of the bands, and gave us an album name or some lyrics, maybe an indication of which genre of music they perform?
Drunk, conservative and nym-stealing is no way to go through life, son.
okay, so i followed the link from pup up above (and really? there has never ever been a penis cake baked before the gheys hijacked marriage? and really, how dumb are these fuckers that they can’t figure out that if they do not want to make a gay wedding cake or take gay wedding pictures that they just say, ‘oh, i’m already booked for that day!’ or ‘i would love to make your penis wedding cake but unfortunately i will be on vacation that week’ or whatevs) and there is a pop up ad with a balding long haired dude clenching his tummy with the following symptoms: itchy skin and rashes, fatigue, mouth ulcers, itchy/burning eyes, bloating, white coated tongue, constipation or diarrhea…i dare not click the ad, but omg…what could all those grody symptoms be a sign of?
If their objection is truly to making penis-shaped cakes, why not just tell anyone who asks for one that you don’t make them. Same for filming orgies.
Of course, if the real problem is you’re a baker with a rooted objection to baking for those people, I’m pretty sure all you’d have to do is include some sign or phrase in your logo or ad copy to identify yourself as a christianist. Teh gheys would know to avoid you (who wants someone providing something for your celebration who just hates the very idea of who you are?), as would anyone else objecting to your blue nose.
tsam: Hope I didn’t provoke any bad memories. I just took a stab (SWIDT?) and remembered your story about the dust-up in the bar.
Barely dodged and Article 15 on that one. No, those memories are so long behind me that I don’t even give them a second thought.
I’m one of those people who look at my current situation and realize that I’m here based on my own series of choices, successes and failures, and that anything different may have produced a far different outcome. I just press on and let things be what they are.
what could all those grody symptoms be a sign of?
He needs to invite Jesus into his heart.
FENWICK — BotB is bloated. You should post only the best. You could make one master list per thread, edit it down, then post the winners at the head of the next thread.
Or maybe get the fuck over yourself and take their money.
If you’re truly having a moral crisis, give the money to your church. Or better yet, help somebody who needs a hand. Jesus will be proud of you for treating his children the way he very specifically instructed you to.
Some libruls have used sexist language about Governor Brewer, bbfk, and obviously it’s your fault.
Maybe I’ll go to their house and peek through their windows to see if they have granite countertops, like a good conservative would.
How is nutbar a sexist insult? Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?
just say, ‘oh, i’m already booked for that day!’ or ‘i would love to make your penis wedding cake but unfortunately i will be on vacation that week’ or whatevs
They don’t because the important part for them isn’t somehow participating or whatever, the important thing for them is to tell those icky icky fagdykes GOD HATES YOU AND SO DO I. You know I have something of an interest in that shit, both from the gay angle and the separation of church and state angle, so it won’t surprise you to find that I have contacted every party bringing suit and tried to talk to every party being sued in those discrimination cases. Everybody that brought suit said the proprietors had said nasty things to them and further that had they not said such things but politely demurred they would have been miffed a bit by suspicion of anti-gay discrimination but would have just moved along. Those proprietors that spoke to me similarly all dissembled and waffled when asked what they said. Surprise surprise surprise.
Also, Jan Brewer is a cunt for not vetoing the bill immediately but waiting to see which way the winds were blowing.
Name one conservative woman who had risen to that level as Brewer has that beebs hasn’t referred to as a crazy person, DA.
Gee, why don’t you answer the question about how nutbar is a sexist insult first?
I own a business. The only business I turn away is from people I just can’t work with (which, in the construction business is a sickeningly large number of people–literacy being the driving factor).
People who care about the sexual orientation or race or political alignment of their customers are just morons. They can point to their religion all they want, but they do it because they’re just bad people. They’re not ignorant, they’re not religious, they’re just shitty people.
Name one prominent conservative woman that ISN’T a crazy person.
I would never use the c-word to describe Jan Brewer.
She has neither the warmth nor the depth.
oh, my aching ass! the idiocy has reached an all new level here, folks…people are truly the most amazing/heinous things…
Everybody that brought suit said the proprietors had said nasty things to them and further that had they not said such things but politely demurred they would have been miffed a bit by suspicion of anti-gay discrimination but would have just moved along. Those proprietors that spoke to me similarly all dissembled and waffled when asked what they said. Surprise surprise surprise.
yeah, that is sooo not shocking…why they feel the need to proclaim their piety while clearly behaving badly is beyond me…oh, wait…cognitive dissonance…
Some libruls have used sexist language about Governor Brewer, bbfk, and obviously it’s your fault.
yes, this and my misunderstanding of the ‘ignoring the bill’ option along with through no fault of my own live in whitebreadville and further believe that i shouldn’t be a dick to other races and encourage others to not be dicks to other races clearly is what is completely wrong with the world…i’m glad to know that i have played some small part in sending us all to hell in a handbasket…
Watching this Ukraine situation explode, I’m remember how thankful I am not to live between two declining, ideologically broken empires that are itching to have a proxy fight in my house.
Watching this Ukraine situation explode, I’m remember how thankful I am not to live between two declining, ideologically broken empires that are itching to have a proxy fight in my house.
right? i always think of these situations as a reason to be thankful for living in this country…we really don’t have shit to complain about…
Simpler than that, I think. If they don’t shout their piety to the heavens, no one will, because there’s nothing there. I use it as a “tell.” If someone’s being really obviously careful to be seen doing something generally considered proper, or is very loudly proclaiming their piety/innocence/lack of bigotry/whatever, I figure they have a curtain they don’t want you to look behind.
I admit that part of this is driven by my own prejudices – I think a person’s religion (which includes not having one, of course) is a personal matter, so people who try to make it a public affair irritate me.
I admit that part of this is driven by my own prejudices – I think a person’s religion (which includes not having one, of course) is a personal matter, so people who try to make it a public affair irritate me.
oh, undoubtedly…but it’s amazing how many times a day i’m confronted by christians who automatically assume i believe the exact same thing they do…i would guarantee if the next time it happens i told them i’m on the bubble about there even being a god and i haven’t been to church in a couple years and don’t plan on going any time soon, 3/4 of my co-workers would not speak to me again…
…we really don’t have shit to complain about…
Relatively speaking, no.
I think a person’s religion (which includes not having one, of course) is a personal matter, so people who try to make it a public affair irritate me.
There was allegedly another guy about 2,000 years ago who specifically instructed his followers to refrain from making it a public affair.
I still insist on complaining about reality TV and commercials because they are tools of the devil.
I still insist on complaining about reality TV and commercials because they are tools of the devil.
VALID…
to live between two declining, ideologically broken empires that are itching to have a proxy fight in my house.
You aren’t counting Seattle and Boise then?
You aren’t counting Seattle and Boise then?
Boise could never be considered an empire, but if I lived in Vancouver, WA, I’d feel the same way. HIPSTERFIGHT
bbkf found her shift key!!!
Suppose Vancouver is a Balkan or Crimean State? I think yes.
HEY–IT’S FRIDAY, YOU GUYS!
First rule about BUTTSECKS is don’t talk about BUTTSECKS
Vancouver, WA
My only wish is to see Jan Brewer treated with all the kindness and respect that was given to Sandra Fluke.
The USA has been pretty good/lucky about having most fights happen elswhere. There are advantages, I suppose, to living in one of the two declining, ideologically broken empires.
And I’m so old, I remember a time when even suggesting the USA was an empire would bring out all kinds of defensive reactions. Now, it seems to be one of those things that’s generally accepted as true, if not polite to mention.
No, no, – they are the tools of capitalism run amuck … [Emily Littella voice] Oh. Never mind. [/Emily Littella voice]
Hillary Clinton has always been treated with the utmost respect by conservatives
New post.
Shorter Taranto: “If I write enough of this, I’ll be able to convince myself my college years weren’t actually a serial rape binge!”