Sob. It was a Good Convention… Right? *Sniff*
Crawling in my ski~in! These wounds don’t seem to he~al!
John H. Fund, National Erase:
Dinosaur Conventions
So how bad was the Republican National Convention?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- WAAAAAHHHHHHH! Having conventions is like double Hitler! Can we just retroactively decide we didn’t have one? Or better yet that we didn’t have to have any pretenses to democracy at all? WAAAAAAHHHH!
It’s been what? Less than a week since the Republicans attempted to have their big marketing push for The Smiler and his vat-grown VP candidate? And not even the paid hacks can manage to spin it as anything other than a catastrophe?
Apparently there’s a lot of paid whores for the GOP looking at this upcoming election much like a deer looks into the headlights of an oncoming truck.
‘The closest thing to eternal life is a government program,” Ronald Reagan once said. I suspect that today he might single out the $136 million in taxpayer subsidies that go to the two major parties for their national conventions. Established in the 1970s when people thought conventions might still decide something, the subsidies keep flowing and are even indexed for inflation. They now amount to welfare for corporate and union interests and the political class — providing the infrastructure for wheeling, dealing, and frolicking.
Established in the 1970s. First appearing in 1832 as the replacement for the caucus system. Same thing, right?
Fuck, we’ve had National Conventions longer than we’ve allowed filthy regular people select our presidential candidates. But thanks for dog-whistling Jimmy Carter so loud it made a couple of the racists in the front go deaf.
Few people suggest that the parties should abandon conventions completely, but the subsidies prop up an archaic structure that needs retooling.
Uh huh. We’re not saying that we want a return to the smoky bars where Party Bosses decided the candidates with nary a thought to the electorate. All we’re saying is the current system needs reforms.
You know? The same reforms that Social Security and Medicare need, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
“Some pundits lament the demise of the old conventions,” writes Michael Barone, co-author of The Almanac of American Politics. “But they couldn’t be revived without banning long-distance telephone, the Internet, and jet travel.”
…We could have “old conventions” if we made it impossible for any outside the super rich could possibly attend? That doesn’t even…
To be fair, there’s going to be a lot of that this post. John Superfund jumps around more than a long-jumper with icy-hot-soaked shorts. I think he thinks that this will somehow hide his panicked sobs as he imagines the inevitable comparison of the Democrat’s public-filled stadium convention to their heavily-controlled parade of racists and doddering old white men.
Spoiler alert? It will not.
For most voters, the conventions today are increasingly an anachronism. Only 14 percent of people told pollster Scott Rasmussen that they wanted more than the nightly one hour of prime-time coverage the broadcast networks aired.
What does that even mean?!?
There’s poorly worded poll questions by sketchy organizations and then there’s Dadaist experiments in free-form performance art.
Even with such limited coverage, ratings were down 30 percent or more this year from the 2008 Republican convention. Only one in five unaffiliated voters bothered to tune in for more than a few minutes.
If there was no better sign that the Republican Party needs to shut down the few thin remaining scraps of democracy it allows its constituents, I don’t know what it is.
…Actually, I think that’s his straight up argument here…
In theory, about three-quarters of the taxpayer funding is earmarked for security, but that money is fungible — it makes the two overblown extravaganzas possible. Security for presidents, vice presidents, congressional leaders, and presidential nominees is paid for separately by the Secret Service and is provided wherever those figures go.
Some political players are blowing the whistle and challenging the taxpayer subsidies.
Yes. They are “blowing the whistle” now. Like right this second. It’s almost like they want to prevent something from happening that will happen very soon and the inevitable comparisons it will draw to, say, some not described event where a senile actor ranted at an inanimate chair. Hypothetically speaking.
Cause yeah, arguing that Barack Obama isn’t allowed to campaign against your candidate really is the only hope the Republican Party has left at this point.
The original Smiler may have won against The Beast, but your Smiler is going against black Mr. Rogers. This was never going to be competitive even before you started scoring own goals and testing post-reality campaign styles.
Senator Tom Coburn (R., Okla.), a deficit hawk,
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hee hee ho ho ho oh wow. Thanks John, I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.
calls the gatherings “summertime parties” and says having them financially fend for themselves would demonstrate “strong leadership to getting our budget crisis in control.”
Yeah, hands up anyone who thinks he was saying remotely the same thing when Sarah Palin was enjoying her post-convention bump in 2008?
Fuck, hands up anyone who thinks any of these “deficit hawks” gave one fuck about all the “public money” going to party conventions before the Republican Party found a way to invent a negative convention bump?
Yeah, pretty much.
Hey, dickwads! Not televising your failures won’t make it any less apparent that you are a party of old out-of-touch white men bristling in pure rage at the “young ‘uns and niggers destroying the country”.
Exposed to sober analysis, the practice of lavishing taxpayer-funded largesse on convention luminaries cannot be justified when the public is in uproar over abuses such as the General Services Administration’s spending $823,000 on a “team building” meeting in Las Vegas.
Well, yes, people do tend to get a little upset when public money is used to pay for someone’s public bender and prostitute bill.
Your point?
Cause from here, all I’m hearing is:
“WE PAID HOW MUCH FOR CLINT EASTWOOD TO BECOME A NATIONAL JOKE?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US!”
And let’s be honest. That’s pretty much the take-home message from that paragraph.
Indeed, it appears that conventions are slowly shrinking in length — if only because of intervention from Mother Nature.
Whoa, whoa. Hold up there, Sally.
Are you seriously, seriously using a single data-point to argue a trend?
Yes, this current Republican National Convention was delayed a day because some dipshit forgot that it’s Hurricane Season in Florida. But that’s not a trend. That’s just a regular old fuckup.
Much like these concern troll arguments against conventions. If they last to next presidential election, I’ll be shocked. Fuck, I’ll be shocked if they last longer than the Democratic National Convention.
In 2008, Representative David Dreier of California, the Republican convention’s parliamentarian, developed an alternate plan under which all the legally required business at that year’s convention in St. Paul, Minn., could be conducted in a few hours in the event that the delegates and officials from the Gulf Coast had to go home to deal with Hurricane Gustav. This year, Democrats will conduct their business in three days instead of four. Republicans in Tampa found they could chop off a day from their schedule of activities with hardly anyone’s noticing.
Some politicians say conventions would shrink even more were it not for the government subsidy.
Government shrinking til’ we drown it in the bathtub, blah blah, growing fat on the public money teat…
I’m sorry, but is there an inebriated ape on the planet that doesn’t find this crap transparently pathetic? Conventions are each party’s attempt to “put on their best face” before the election season turns into the final sprint. Most of the money spent on the “spectacle” comes from the same handful of rich fuckers it usually does.
Again, no one gave a fuck about the miniscule drop in the bucket that was the legal public funding for conventions (mostly in place to give third parties the illusion of being legitimate contenders in the election) before the Republican Party spent who knows how many millions of dollars reminding everyone why the GOP is literally that crazy uncle you avoid at Thanksgiving.
“The staging overshadows the politics,” Senator Ron Johnson (R., Wis.) told a group of National Review editors last week
Yes, the party whose convention strategy consisted of seeing if a campaign strategy entirely composed of disconnected market-tested buzzwords could work is suddenly complaining about “staging overshadowing politics”.
But not because the strategy failed or because they want to set up an argument that Obama having a convention is proof he’s a demon-possessed Kenyan Marxist from Mars.
No no no!
They are just deeply, deeply concerned about the important political issues of the day being glossed over.
Like women’s rights and all the politicians arguing against them… eyah, i mean, ooh, maybe the current Great Depression and how the Republicans have been deliberately making things worse to help their 2012 chanceeeeee. Bad example. Maybe… no, not that, that’s right out…
No no, we’ll come up with something. Promise. Probably about November 7th or so. But in the meantime, we just wanted you to know how deeply deeply concerned we are about this… since about 4 days ago.
Count House Speaker John Boehner as another skeptic: “These are very expensive propositions to put on,” he told a group of reporters at a Christian Science Monitor lunch last week. He predicted that both Republicans and Democrats “will assess whether this type of convention is worth the tremendous resources put into it.”
I’ll go further: Whoever is elected president this November will have to go through such stringent belt-tightening when it comes to discretionary budget items that the convention subsidy will land on the chopping block. Any political party that dares to oppose getting rid of the subsidy will be in the crosshairs of voters.
So maybe Reagan will be proved wrong after all and the convention subsidy won’t be eternal. All of us will then discover that the two major parties and their allies can pay for whatever kind of convention makes sense to them without taxpayers having to foot much of the bill. Indeed, that’s just the way it was done from the time when the first convention was held — in 1832 to nominate Andrew Jackson — right up through the 1970s.
Oh now you remember that conventions have been around for nearly 200 years. Shame that the first one wasn’t Andrew Jackson, but was actually for the “Anti-Masonic Party”. But hey, why bother subjecting yourself to the strenuous task of looking something up on Wikipedia when you’ve got a page of full-bore concern troll and bullshit faux-deficit-hawkery to shove onto the tubes.
Don’t worry, though, the desperate half-remembered inaccurate factoid thrown on the end doesn’t at all ruin the delicious tang of your hyperventilating crying jag.
Oh but that this were but the beginning of a long dark winter for the 27% as they languish in obscurity never to fuck over our country or our planet again…
I scarce dare dream.
In the meantime however, let me tip the lemon juice all over their self-inflicted wounds.
Aah, what melodies it makes.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Apparently the fallout from the RNC is unlocking my inner sadist. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*P.S. What the Flying Fuck?!? Okay, wingnuts, sit down.
I know. I know you are really really pants-shittingly terrified about how you’re going to make The Smiler look like a Regular Joe when he can’t even pretend to act like a plebian millionaire, but really? Really?!? Ripping off Soviet propaganda?!?!?
Cause… wow. Just wow.
Did not enough people talk to Mr. Fund and they ate all the good stuff at the All You Can Eat Biscuit and Grits table?
This must not stand
Also “689 reasons to defeat Obama”.??
1) He’s black
2-689) He’s black
but really? Really?!? Ripping off Soviet propaganda?!?!?
Well if the NR really really want to devote their front-cover real estate to embedding their candidates within fascist totalitarian iconography, then go for it.
If the conventions provided their own hookers and blow rather than leaving it to the locals, they’d be self-funding. In other words, central planning would improve the convention economies.
Sm*t mentioned at BJ, btw.
Good night, early birds. Get that worm.
Is there some reason BJ denies Smut his U and his Y? Have his vowels been seized for socialist redistribution?
I love the propaganda poster from the NR…really, wtf? indeed.
And what the hell is the Smiler carrying around rolls of paper under his arm for? Is he inviting Ryan to “come up and see his etchings?”
Also “689 reasons to defeat Obama”.??
1) He’s black
2-689) He’s black
He’s 689 Shades of Black (some of them kinda greyish).
And what the hell is the Smiler carrying around rolls of paper under his arm for?
Despite poo-pooing from the Zombie, I think it’s a Fountainhead reference.
Also, I shall endeavor not to mention zombie poo again.
Serious WTFery!
Serious WTFery!
So much for my attempts to avoid zombie poo…
I’m hoping that it is a smartass liberal who is going over the top to show just how silly “stand your ground” laws are. Also, it just might be a great way to sucker rubes into buying a lot of over priced t-shirts and bumper stickers.
Great catch, Cerberus. Yes, funny how conventions are sucking the life’s blood out of the country now that the Democrats are on deck.
I will always try to remember Gran Torino and The Outlaw Josey Wales. I will put the Chair Incident down to early-stage Alzheimer’s. I will cry, otherwise.
Soviet Realist on the cover of the NatRev; live long enough, you’ll see everything…
Hello. I am Shoelimpy. Remember me?
Hahaa! I smell liberal defeat and resignation. You can no longer defend Obamas Hitler like desire to redistribute! Also, Solyndra!
Also, So Lynda!
Also, So Lynda!
I’ll be in my bunk…
Really?!? Ripping off Soviet propaganda?!?!?
I am beginning to wonder whether NR authors are entirely sincere when they condemn the prominence of Che Guevara in popular culture and accuse anyone with a Che t-shirt or poster of complicity in all crimes committed in the course of of the Cuban revolution.
Despite poo-pooing from the Zombie, I think it’s a Fountainhead reference.
IIRC, Ayn Rand loathed Degenerate Art in all its manifestations and came up with ingenious reasons why heroic human figures in the Totalitarian style comprised the Only True Objectivist Art. So no other aesthetic preference is available for subsequent generations of free-thinking independent-minded objectivists.
So no other aesthetic preference is available for subsequent generations of free-thinking independent-minded objectivists.,
Irony? You’re soaking in it!
The fact is, voting is a scared right real patriots should protect with their lives. They need to make sure the Marxist fraud does not win, and therefore any black or hispanic voter, but voting for Obama is automatically committing voter fraud and should be dealt with as any traiter.
Sm*t Cl*de (IF that is his real name!!!) is a curse word in several languages.
~
Smyt Clude is a famous Finnish gunslinger from the days of the old norse west.
Doesn’t Vacuumslayer have an account on DegenerateArt.com?
Do you think they used the federal subsidy to pay for the “We Built This” banners all over the hall? 😉
If Obama is re-elected, we will be taking the first steps into 1000 years of
niggdarkness.Goddamn, he really does look just like a caveman out of a Ruben Bolling cartoon…
To be fair, I think the “started in the 70s” thing was a reference to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund, founded in 1971, especially since he talks about conventions “from 1832 through the 1970s”. It’s still bullshit because the fund is maintained only with funds people designate for that exact purpose on their tax forms ($3 per person, according to Wikipedia), but it’s pretty clear he isn’t saying that conventions only started in the 1970s. (Though, interestingly, primaries did.)
(Though, interestingly, primaries did.)
Nope: http://www.jfklibrary.org/Research/Ready-Reference/JFK-Miscellaneous-Information/Primaries-1960.aspx
Has John Fund stopped beating his girlfriend?
They need to make sure the Marxist fraud does not win, and therefore any black or hispanic voter, but voting for Obama is automatically committing voter fraud and should be dealt with as any traiter.
Ha ha, very funny, Fake Gary, but I actually ran into someone on G+ last week who was arguing in all seriousness that everyone who votes for Obama needs to be executed for treason. So the looniest of the loons really do think it’d rock to kill 70 million people, and I expect them to start getting interviews on Hannity’s show before long…
So the looniest of the loons really do think it’d rock to kill 70 million people, and I expect them to start getting
interviews on Hannity’stheir own show before long…Fixed
If the conventions provided their own hookers and blow rather than leaving it to the locals, they’d be self-funding. In other words, central planning would improve the convention economies.
That sort of wrecks the whole “free market” trope these guys have been humping, right? Besides, do YOU want guys like Karl Rove selecting your hookers? DO NOT WANT.
Lying sack of shit is a lying sack of shit: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/04/1127525/-Paul-Ryan-s-defense-against-charges-of-lying-is-that-he-s-a-weasel
do YOU want guys like Karl Rove selecting your hookers?
In a just world Karl Rove would be giving blowjobs in the men’s room of the downtown Greyhound bus station for $5 a pop until he regained some very small measure of dignity.
Five dollars? You’re a generous man, Major.
I think he meant that Rove would be paying the $5.
Has everyone forgotten that caucus or meeting or whatever it was Obama held early in his term with Republican congressional leaders? IIRC, he absolutely schooled Ryan. I have a thrilling feeling that that was a little precursor of what is to come.
In a just world Karl Rove would be giving blowjobs in the men’s room of the downtown Greyhound bus station for $5 a pop until he regained some very small measure of dignity.
Your disgusting and disturbing visual for the day:
Think about the group of people who would be lined up for that…
You know Ann Coulter would be first in line…
Smut, reduced to a nameless “commenter”: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/04/1127593/-The-National-Review-Cover-Looks-a-Lot-Like-Soviet-Propaganda
From that sentence, the nameless commenter would be me. Although, I didn’t actually do anything anyway. I just saw the post on my Tumblr dashboard and thought it was funny.
Regarding Paul Ryan’s weasel words, do you think that if Biden said, “Ryan is a massive douchebag” during the debate, Paul Ryan would be satisfied by the explanation, “No. I wasn’t talking about you, dude. I was talking about this guy I know named Ryan Taylor. Everybody hates that guy”?
After all, in that hypothetical statement, Biden didn’t specify which Ryan he was talking about.
My apologies, Spearhafoc. I didn’t mean to Smut you.
Make-it-up Mitt / Lyin’ Ryan 2012!
“You know Ann Coulter would be first in line…”
Just when I thought a revolting visual couldn’t get any more disturbing. Maybe if it was Coulter’s head on a spider’s body?
Errata: the Palin post-convention bump wasn’t 2004, it was 2008.
But at least there WAS one in 2008 … how much of a failure are you when even a clown like Sarahcuda outperforms you with her debut on the national political stage?
ANSWER: As much of one as Paul Ryan is right now.
(Note: This comment is neither an endorsement of nor a prohibition against Paul Ryan taking to the campaign trail adorned with an arsenal of low-cut dresses with high hemlines & big-name designer fuck-me pumps, nor of his donning visible toenail polish or winking at crowds)
You mean it’s not already?
Imagine Coultergeist lifting up the little black coctail dress to reveal the goods…spider body not needed…
Disemvowelled Jim has made me giggle, although as far as having to look at All Lyin’ sashaying around in revealing dresses and fuck me pumps is something that I most definitely DO. NOT. WANT. (The winking may be a tic…)
But at least there WAS one in 2008 … how much of a failure are you when even a clown like Sarahcuda outperforms you with her debut on the national political stage?
Not a fair comparison. Old white soreheads fixate on boobs like cats on the laser pointer dot. Can’t say that I blame them, and I like my batshit crazy bitches as much as the next dude, but I do not like the idea that a batshit crazy geezer magnet is one stair fall away from having the nuclear launch codes and her own bomb proof bunker.
Not only was there no convention bump without Sarah, but that also left them with no convetion bumpkin.
Glenn Beck experienced rudeness by a flight attendant. Fetch the fainting salts.
There was no convention bump for Romney, and the ratings were as low as the ones for Bob Dole’s 1996 convention.
And I still think Eastwood was trolling his own audience.
Glenn Beck says American flight attendant made him feel “subhuman”
Well, Glenda, I’ll tell you what I told my children when they were being brats. If you’re going to act subhuman, we shall treat you like you’re subhuman.
I still think Eastwood was trolling his own audience.
Makes you wonder … they sure did rake his ass over the coals plenty hard for that Chrysler ad. Maybe the check bounced.
Glenn Beck says American flight attendant made him feel “subhuman”
There’s a support group for people who’ve been treated poorly by American Airlines flight attendants – it’s called everybody.
(Note: This comment is neither an endorsement of nor a prohibition against Paul Ryan taking to the campaign trail adorned with an arsenal of low-cut dresses with high hemlines & big-name designer fuck-me pumps, nor of his donning visible toenail polish or winking at crowds)
Thou doth not know what thou hath wrought with thine words. Google will soon reveal all.
In a just world Karl Rove would be giving blowjobs in the men’s room of the downtown Greyhound bus station for $5 a pop until he regained some very small measure of dignity. – Major Kong
How do you know he isn’t doing exactly that? The world may in fact be more just than you cynically think. 😉
26-year old Turkish rape victim aborts her abuser/rapist.
Rapist’s fetus would be next but Turkish law outlaws abortions after the 10th week.
Go Team Vulture!
buggy, this 17 year old girl was sleeping when an intruder attacked her and tried to rape her. He stabbed her 17 times including in her head and her defending hands. Little did he suspect that she is a boxing student and she fought back to such an extent that he fled without fulfilling his foul purpose.
Count another one for the wimmins.
Money is fungible? Yes. Money is money. That a person can spend money on one thing and not another isn’t some profound revelation about the quality of money to make decisions about what to spend itself on.
You think Fund has a girlfriend?
Also, too,
Fund’s new whine about what awful hotels the DNC gave reporters.
Shorter P-Shooperdooper
Chris CrockerJohn Fund: Leave Romney alone! You don’t even deserve him! You’re all bastard people!Moderately OT: Saw “The Campaign” last night, and honestly, if it weren’t for about 15 years of anecdotal evidence I would have a hard time to believe that punching a baby, leaving a profane message meant for your mistress on the wrong phone and turning a sex tape into a political ad would hurt your chances of winning.
would hurt your chances of winning.
IOKIYAR.
A non-family values
pagandemocrat such as myself? Media zoo.RNC makes a compelling argument from 130 years ago
Fund’s new whine about what awful hotels the DNC gave reporters.
Because if they were put up in more posh settings, there’s no way the article would read: DEMOCRATS WASTE TAXPAYER MONEY TO BRIBE MEDIA WITH MINTS, HOTTUBS AND REMOTE-CONTROLLED AC!, would it?
RNC makes a compelling argument from 130 years ago
Aren’t they always making an argument based on something that happened 130 years ago (women’s rights, union rights, civil rights, gay rights…etc.)?
Also IOKIYAR.
But the
HorribleHonorable Mark Ritchie, Sec. State MN? Threat to life on earth..(Beware the second link. Reading Katherine Kersten is like performing brain surgery with white phosphorus on a manure pile – not sure what the analogy means, but it’s gonna be messy and painful.)
Katherine Kersten
I didn’t make it very far into that, but Kat sure seems like a worthy target for Sadly..
“Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is…maybe he didn’t?”
Is there some reason BJ denies Smut his U and his Y?
I was fairly sure it was a commenter named Smart Claude.
If the conventions provided their own hookers and blow rather than leaving it to the locals, they’d be self-funding.
Not only that, but imagine the economies of scale they could achieve by consolidating.
Possibly of interest.
I notice it uses the male pronouns.
Keep it classy, dudes.
RNC makes a compelling argument from 130 years ago
<a href="http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/holy-fucking-shit"Holy fucking shit, he’s serious.
Gah! FYWP! I know I tagged that right.
Holy fucking shit, he’s serious.
Does anyone know if that’s the whole story? If that’s enough of it to get a clear picture, I can’t see why they should pay for gender reassignment either. It’s not critical to his/her health, strictly an elective surgery, and while there are psychological benefits, I’m not sure what real value there is in giving this person a costly treatment.
I guess a better way of saying it is howcome all the transgendered people outside of prison have to cough up the money on their own, and the state will pay for one who murdered his/her wife?
It can’t be.
It can’t be.
I didn’t think so. If a Repig is whining about it, then it’s probably their super convenient reduction of the actual story.
Scott Horton: Six Questions for Craig Unger, author of Boss Rove: Inside Karl Rove’s Secret Kingdom of Power
http://harpers.org/archive/2012/09/hbc-90008829
~
You know, thunder, I pay for the dead tree version of that rag, and now you’re spoiling it for me…
Nonetheless, I’m constantly amazed by how much conservatives reject science, but are able to apply technology so effectively towards organizing, propaganda, and corruption.
Question number seven for Craig: what disinfectant do you recommend?
do YOU want guys like Karl Rove selecting your hookers?
No, the last time he selected a hooker for us, we were stuck with two unwinnable wars and an economic meltdown.
Art here:
http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/09/theres-pathetic-and-then-there-is-this/
Who do I see on the floor there? Lenin, McCarthy and Washington in a face plant? I…um…WHAT?
Somebody needs to smoke WAY more pot.
You should na’ have ever “taken impeachment off the table”, Nancy.
You got nothing in exchange for that (that we know).
And now you’re talking about taking democracy back from the plutocracy?
~
Art here:
http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/09/theres-pathetic-and-then-there-is-this/
Interesting that he gives “deeds not words” as the motto for the pictured conservatives… who are mostly bloggers.
Took me a while*, but I finally ran across this and figured out that it was what thunder was referring to.
(*I do have a day job, and also have been busy analyzing NRO’s 689 lies. I’ll have charts and graphs but it may take a day or two. Some of the turds they’re flinging will take research to decipher.)
Or maybe this?
I was referring to Nancy Pelosi on my TV at the DNC tonight.
~
This Muir entry in the Shittiest Editorial cartoon of the day manages to get a bath shot of one of Muirs anatomically impossible females, into a “Whut iffen orl the Liburals were kilt?” wankfest.
He is a waste of oxygen.
Another Kiwi-
Wow, that’s a whole new level of terrible. I almost want to do a running counter of how many batshit things he has to believe in order for that to have been produced.
I think my favorite one is where radical feminism is single-handedly blocking all straight relationships everywhere.
No, Chris, the reason you’re not getting any is you. Everyone else is doing just fine in the mandatory gay feminazi hellscape.
I do like seeing people beating up on Rmoney.
Kick his ass, Duval.
~
Erick Erickson on the DNC: First night of the Vagina Monologues in Charlotte going as expected.
No, Chris, the reason you’re not getting any is you. Everyone else is doing just fine in the mandatory gay feminazi hellscape.
I mean, really, If I was able to find a wife (and a right purty one at that) the bar’s been set pretty damn low.
I mean, really, If I was able to find a wife (and a right purty one at that) the bar’s been set pretty damn low.
I see your you and raise you me.
Cerb- the “radical feminism and her sister marxism” is unwittingly revealing as he equates women with his two pants-wetting horrors.
He has a talent for using colours that could have gained him a decent living writing supermarket price tickets but he has to inflict his mostly incomprehensible, and always unfunny, comics upon the poor sad world.
√Feminism + Marxism = 100% COCKBLOCK.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Mark Shields says “what a moving speech.”
Gwen Ifill sez “Well that covered the bases completely and excitedly.”
Bobo says “I don’t get it.”
Tigris 4:14 + Pupienus 4:14 = David Brooks Cock Block.
Bobo gets Applebee’s salad bars.
~
That was good. “It’s not how much money you make, it’s the change you make in other people’s lives.” very good.
What the fuckingfuckety fuck PBS?!!!??!!!
Hahahhahaha! Supermarket price tickets! That cracked me the hell up!
Conservatives will read this and nervously chuckle at the idea that us dumb libtards have no damn idea what his ‘piece’ means.
I do especially like the busts on the floor. It ads a certain je ne sais quois the fuck is going on.
It really is their cover, if you wondered:
http://www.nationalreview.com/nrd/issues/314713
(Beware the second link. Reading Katherine Kersten is like performing brain surgery with white phosphorus on a manure pile – not sure what the analogy means, but it’s gonna be messy and painful.)
kersten makes me want to puke…also, any *journalist* who uses the term ‘gobbledygook’ should be universally reviled and mocked…
See also: boondoggle.
Quagmire
Doggling the boon.
What if the article is about rapists in popular cartoons?
surrogate…
Angry White Soreheads: 0
Michelle Obama: +1
I listened to Fresh Air on the way home from work, after Michelle’s Speech. The guest was Mickey Edwards (former R-OK, 1976-1992) talking about how the political process has changed since his tenure on the Hill and especially how folks like Newtie have polarized the political process to the point where the Congress no longer represents the people, but the parties.
Listen Here, it’s well worth the 20 minutes.
Tom Junod (who he?)writes a moving ( he said embarrassingly) column about Michelle’s speech.
Barak, I can take or leave. Her, I’d vote for in a heartbeat.
The National Review cover may have attempted Soviet Realism, but the fucked that up as well. Looks more like a dodgy pair of contractors to me.
I’d vote for Michelle without hesitation. Corey booker too. Also that Deval Patrick dude. I admire his fire.
What if the article is about rapists in popular cartoons?
The single allowable exception.
Wasn’t it Corey Booker that said exposing Romney’s record at Bain Capital was unfair? Because those were the words of a weasel. If we can’t call out the bastards who are getting rich by making things worse for the rest of us, who can we call out?
I know big finance is a giant source of easy money with which to campaign, but until they are no longer “too big to fail” they collectively hold a knife to the throat of the world economy.
I think that big finance has us in a corner. Between credit card debt, the housing mortgage bubble, the current college debt bubble and other nefarious projects too numerous to count, big finance has been able to vacuum up nearly all of the growth for the last decade or so.
tl;dr: fuck big finance and to hell with anyone that builds a career on being nice to them.
Which includes all republicans and most democrats. Just look at the epic whine created when Obammy had the temerity to mildly criticize the financial geniuses who blew up the economy.
These fuckers know that if the populist ball really gets rolling (like what happened with Occupy) that being on the wrong side of pitchforks might not be too pleasant. That’s why they cannot allow even the most milquetoast negative utterance to stand.
Shorter me : Show fealty to the Masters of the Universe, peons.
Well the anger behind the pitchforks, when they do arrive, is only growing.
A wise person would say “OK, let’s fix it now before it becomes a potential catastrophe waiting to happen.”
But if big finance was even a fraction as wise as they claim to be smart, they wouldn’t have fucked everything up so badly to begin with.
Wasn’t it Corey Booker that said exposing Romney’s record at Bain Capital was unfair?
Yeah, that was him. Obviously he gets a lot of help from those fuckers. He is a bit of a dickhead–still like his attitude better than uhhhh…..uhhhhh…..Barack……uhhhhh….Obama’s.
Sometimes I wonder if they really drink their own koolaid. Do they really think that credit default swaps and other arcane financial products add something of value to society? Do they really believe that only strapping young bucks and welfare queens are sucking down welfare because they really enjoy not working? And who seriously believes that cutting taxes on billionaires will stimulate the economy? Jeebus help us.
Clint Eastwood yelling at the chair is the Episodes I – III of the liberal Star Wars fuckery
No, I think they really really like campaign donations, and who has more expendable capital laying around than a corporate raider? Nobody believes that cutting taxes for billionaires does anything other than cut taxes for billionaires and shit the burden to the middle class. Their answer: Cut government so we don’t need those tax revenues, (EXCEPT DEFENSE because America FUCK YEAH), and stop helping the poor entirely. They’re well positioned now because they have the old people convinced that their benefits don’t change, and they obviously don’t give a fat shit what they’re leaving behind for others, and the younger people have all bought into the Paul bullshit, thinking they’re capable of betting on the stock market for their retirement and that student loans are pretty cool.
Re: GOP economic philosophy
I think Rude Pundit put it best:
This, They are getting in bed with the most damaging force in America today. The finance ‘industry’ and the MBAs who listen to them.
Forty years ago if you asked a person to describe a well run company, they would mention things like: they have cash on hand to cover expenses, they spend money on R&D, they develop expertise and promote from within, they pay well and promote loyalty, they make money and share it with employees and stockholders, they have a highly trained and motivated full time workforce, they sell useful products or services at a reasonable price, they own their facilities and building outright, they have benefits and a pension plan.
Now each and every item on that list is a red flag to an MBA to cut cut cut. Don’t have cash on hand, disburse that shit as executive bonuses, consulting fees and maybe a stock dividend. don’t spend on R&D, just copy from the next guy. Don’t promote from within or pay for training, just hire someone qualified and underemployed, and pay them shit for part time work with no benefits. Offshore every facility you can to a place with no labor or environmental regulations. Don’t ‘make’ money, adjust your profits and expenses, so you’re ‘losing’ money and pay no taxes, if necessary set up a shell company in the Cayman island and book all your revenue there. Raise prices continually, and only quit raising them when you start losing lots of business. Raid the pension plan to pay for your sudden liquidity crisis, cause you paid all of your ready cash out as bonuses.
All of those changes make short term sense to squeeze money out of a profitable stable business, but they are no way to have a company that can endure even a modest downturn. And the MBA’s and finance jerks and business consultants, come out smelling like a rose, while they close factories, fire their workers and complain like hell the economy went to shit, and no one’s buying anything.
“Corporations are people, my friend”
Psychopaths, but people nonetheless.
I think Rude Pundit put it best:
That comes close, but it ignores the fact that every single one of those goddamn politicians, excluding teabaggers who have the economic knowledge of your average lemming, knows for a fact that there will never be a gold brick. So their handlers set up a system that allows them to leave office somehow magically much more wealthy than when they entered.
Bribes are just an operating expense to vulture capitalists.
Forty years ago if you asked a person to describe a well run company, they would mention things like: they have cash on hand to cover expenses, they spend money on R&D, they develop expertise and promote from within, they pay well and promote loyalty, they make money and share it with employees and stockholders, they have a highly trained and motivated full time workforce, they sell useful products or services at a reasonable price, they own their facilities and building outright, they have benefits and a pension plan.
I think most small businesses strive for those goals even now. It’s not until you get to the midsize-to-multinational that the MBAs come in to trash the place and steal the towels. If I had to choose just one gripe about the Democratic approach to business, it would be that they kowtow too much to the giant corporations and their bankster enablers and make life too hard for small businessmen.
If they could make that distinction, they could destroy the Chamber of Commerce as a propaganda center and bring lots of small businesses on board with the program.
I believe it was the Harvard Business School that developed the theory – in the 1920s, IIRC – that you didn’t have to know anything about what a business does, just about how to mange a business. I’d be hard-pressed o think of a more pernicious management method.
Forty years ago, an asshole who is known to have stashed several million dollars into offshore accounts to dodge taxes and auditing, he would absolutely be a non-starter as a presidential candidate.
Forty years ago, the corporation as a person would be laughable to just about everybody who works for a living.
It was also the Harvard BS that espoused the theory that anything that’s good for General Motors (as an example) is good for the country. That slowly became the dominant theory which allowed for big business to get everyone’s future tied up in the stock market. Nowadays, many people silently cheer to themselves when a company in their portfolio lays off several thousand workers because they know the value of that stock will climb higher.
Forty years ago, when I was 2 years old, I was probably better equipped to construct a correct sentence.
Forty years ago, when I was 2 years old, I was probably better equipped to construct a correct sentence.
Well, there’s at least a 60% likelihood that you were less reduced to sputtering rage. But then I think of my own daughter at that age and think, “maybe not.”
I’m just learning how to manage a small business, but I spent almost 20 years learning the business before I was in ANY way capable of managing one. In N_Bs example, an MBA with no experience in architecture trying to run a large architectural firm has a pretty predictable outcome–total disaster.
Small businesses are run by people who know the business, they do try to promote from within, and I think that by and large they give a shit what happens to their employees. And the successful ones are the ones that still make something or provide an actually valuable service.
You may want to sit down for this one.
Small businesses are run by people who know the business, they do try to promote from within, and I think that by and large they give a shit what happens to their employees.
We invest so much time and effort in training every employee that the thought of losing anyone for any reason makes my teeth hurt.
Having said that, tsam, call me an architect again and I’ll be forced to kill you.
you didn’t have to know anything about what a business does, just about how to mange a business.
Typo FTW!!!
Also: Democrats get their turn.
What, no Elizabeth Warren? wtf?
Having said that, tsam, call me an architect again and I’ll be forced to kill you.
Sorry. I thought that wasn’t an expletive to you guys. It is to the rest of the industry…
We invest so much time and effort in training every employee that the thought of losing anyone for any reason makes my teeth hurt.
Us too. When we lose one, it does major damage to the whole company for several months at least.
I must say, I do like the recent trend of coming fast with the death threats around here. It makes me feel at home…
No more PENIS hats.
I must say, I do like the recent trend of coming fast with the death threats around here. It makes me feel at home…
I’ve been dealing with a building owner who thinks he’s going to out-smart the building department. AND he expects me to go along with his hare-brained scheme. Because obviously he’s the last client I’ll ever have or need and therefore I can piss in the face of a huge government bureaucracy that I have to deal with all the time just to make his life a little simpler.
Elizabeth Warren
She’s one of the few women in politics that I’d actually enjoy spending the night with… even sober.
I’ve been dealing with a building owner who thinks he’s going to out-smart the building department. AND he expects me to go along with his hare-brained scheme. Because obviously he’s the last client I’ll ever have or need and therefore I can piss in the face of a huge government bureaucracy that I have to deal with all the time just to make his life a little simpler.
I have those arguments pretty often when I’m writing specs for those um…guys who do the design work and represent the owners…I forget what you call them…
Anyway, this last dickweed decided that he didn’t need panic hardware on his assembly occupancy. I said my standard response, well IBC says you do, and I won’t write a specification that isn’t code compliant. He says “I’LL GET A VARIANCE!”. I said “Ok, you get me that variance and I’ll write your specification the way you want it.”.
Oddly, said variance never made it to my desk. I don’t know why they don’t just comply with the regulations. I swear most of them don’t really care about the inconvience or aesthetic issues they claim to be so damn worried about, I think they just have a bone to pick with the building departments.
Here, have some moar betterrer cartoons that involve POOP and moar POOP.
And re:financial “wizards” and the wonders they bring to our delightfully robust and in no way at all shitty economy — Taibbi is a must read, as usual.
And since you’ll want to break things after reading that, here’s a really neat video from NASA to make you feel even smaller and insignificant-er. Also & too.
Democrats get their turn.
Wait, where’s Anthony Weiner’s PENIS?
Also, I bet Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is an animal in the sack, but she strikes me as a bit of a tool.
Gawdam gub’mint reg’layshin is blocking all my great inna- innuhva– idears!
I think she’s a total toolshed. Not likable in the least, except that she became a target of Allen West’s. That means you have at least some redeeming qualities, even if they are limited to being a female.
No more PENIS hats.
I had no idea that having bachelorette parties in gay bars was a thing. I presume this is just a bar, not a gay strip club or is that where I lose the thread?
I can see where the normal patrons would get a little miffed about the flaunting of the “marriage for me but not for thee” thing.
That’s a perfect caricature of my son from about age four to age eight… and counting.
Except his word is ‘fart.’
I haven’t been there in ages but I seem to recall they had nude go-go boys but it’s not a strip club. And yeah, it’s very much a thing and it really pisses off a lot of people. I hear they don’t tip well either.
What are these “strip clubs” of which you speak? I’ve heard the guys talking about them, but I must have been at the library when they went.
I seem to recall…
…vaguely. Somewhere in the back of my mind… LOL. I remember every club I’ve ever been in with appropriately (un)dressed wimmins.
Stupid breeders. If you’re going to flaunt your Special Rights, at least be generous with your tips.
Scrip cubs: where men go to see naked women handle fake money.
Script clubs: where men go to see naked women practice calligraphy.
Sipped clubs: where men go to see naked women drink tea slowly.
It’s okay hon, they’re really yelling BOOOOOBs.
I went to a strip mall yesterday, I was greatly disappointed.
Paint stripper isn’t AT ALL what you’d think.
Finger paint stripper could be a good thing though.
Neither is a landing strip.
Well, I learned the hard way that Biore Poor Strips was not a starving Jewish girl who would be *really* grateful for my $1 tips…
I feel it necessary to point out, however, that looking around at most people (that includes those I see in a mirror) the lack of widespread stripping should be treated as a feature, not a bug.
You might feel differently if you worked on a university campus…
I once saw a clip of a foriegn commercial (I don’t recall what they were selling) that started out with two guys sitting on a California beach as a beautiful young lady walks by. One says to the other, “In Europe they don’t wear any clothes at the beach, it’s like the law there.” The other replies, “cool!” The scene then cuts to two guys on the beach in France as a big fat old lady with no clothes on walks by. One says to the other, “In America everbody has to wear clothes at beach, it’s the law.” The other replies, “Cool!”
If someone invites you to play a game of strep poker, you should decline.
Having said that, tsam, call me an architect again and I’ll be forced to kill you.
Sorry. I thought that wasn’t an expletive to you guys. It is to the rest of the industry…
well, you both oughta be voting Republican this year, then, since they did a pretty good job last time out in ensuring that the entire profession is dead. One more go-round should do it for good.
So you know, I’ll just go away now.
Scrip cubs: where men go to see naked women handle fake money.
Script clubs: where men go to see naked women practice calligraphy.
Sipped clubs: where men go to see naked women drink tea slowly.
Needs more nekkid mens.
well, you both oughta be voting Republican this year, then, since they did a pretty good job last time out in ensuring that the entire profession is dead.
So, pro-zombie?
Having been to the beach in France, I recall most of the women just went topless.
As in the commercial, however, there were no age or beauty restrictions on who went topless.
Enjoying trolling this:
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/315981/ted-strickland-intellectually-dishonest-and-clown-kevin-d-williamson
well, you both oughta be voting Republican this year, then, since they did a pretty good job last time out in ensuring that the entire profession is dead. One more go-round should do it for good.
It’s an expletive in the industry because reading and junk is NOT fundamental. In fact most contractors HATE THAT SHIT. You’re all dumb, they can’t do basic arithmetic or read too good, so you architects must all be dumb.
I’ve already seen the effects of what this recession has done to the architecture industry. Most plans now are a footprint of the building with basic dimensions, no further information. No code plans, no door schedules, outline specs that they didn’t even bother to modify to be project specific… That makes my job exceptionally difficult. I write specifications for architects. I answer technical questions for them on a daily basis. I save their asses when other distributors are trying to hose them. I have nothing against architects, I just enjoy teasing them mercilessly. That’s because I’m a born troll.
If the Repigs succeed in doing away with building and planning departments in all the municipalities and counties like they’ve been trying to do for like, EVER, architecture will be a dead profession and going to school might be more dangerous to kids than riding in a car. Still, it would be awesome if ALL the buildings were prefabricated steel buildings, wouldn’t it? YAY
HAHA! Boob bait. I thought boob bait was Long Island Iced Teas.
You might feel differently if you worked on a university campus…
Teh Ho worked on campus I used to greatly enjoy meeting for lunch, walkIng across the huge union building lawn for the scenery. After some years we found ourselves one day eyeing up the dads on parents weekend. That’s when I started feeling creepy about looking at the kids.
I always thought a strip search was something entirely different from what I learned it was. IT’S HORRIFYING. NO BOOBS AT ALL. They told me to smile, then explained what they meant by that, which made me considerably uncomfortable.
Did I just call OBS a lecherous old troll? Hmmm, I think I did.
Did I just call OBS a lecherous old troll? Hmmm, I think I did.
I’m totally on OBS’s team. I am a lecherous old troll and I don’t care.
I am a lecherous old troll and I don’t care.
Hey wait…those aren’t the lyrics!
NO BOOBS AT ALL.
…unless you count moobs.
The number varies depending on position.
I’m a lechus ol’ troll an’ I don’t care!
I think they work just fine when you smash the words together a little.
I’m totally on OBS’s team.
Thirded. College visits with The Young Chowderette were an exercise in (probably ineffective) discretion. Thank bog for wrap-around sunglasses.
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/315981/ted-strickland-intellectually-dishonest-and-clown-kevin-d-williamson
Wow, his piece is entirely ad hominem, isn’t it? Including an accusation of fascism – wow. FWIW, I think a lot of people would agree that the lengths Romney went to to avoid paying taxes is unseemly at minimum, that it’s not much of a stretch if any to say people not willing to pay for policy they vote for and support to the extent that the country is harmed is not patriotic, that it’s not fascist to point out such hypocrisy especially if the hypocrite is a member of a group which has for several decades questioned the patriotism of everyone who disagreed with their ideology, and also that the Republicans have a lot of nerve bitching about people below the poverty line not paying enough in taxes at the same time they defend Romney for it. Also too, if the Republicans loooooove the tax policy of the Cayman Islands so much why don’t they move there instead of trying to turn this country into a FOREIGN LAND?!!! In conclusion, BITE ME.
Yes, this outrage against “economic patriotism” should be railed against by real patriots who have an economic program that is right for America and also patriotic.
“economic patriotism”
Last refuge of economic scoundrels?
You’re supposed to point moobs at the FAQs.
That’s noobs, moobs should go to the ohFUQnos.
Thirded. College visits with The Young Chowderette were an exercise in (probably ineffective) discretion. Thank bog for wrap-around sunglasses.
Speaking of which, tsamantha (my daughter), is venturing out for UofW in 2 weeks. I’ll be making a weekend visit before too long and (of course) doing the creepy old perv thing, but looking you up for a drink that I so rudely bailed on when you came to my humble little shittowne.
Williamson, Williamson…is that the “Rmoney will lick you at fisticuffs all day long” guy?
Just the FAQs ma’am. Just the FAQs.
The very one.
Williamson is a bit of a loose cannon.
is venturing out for UofW in 2 weeks.
EXcellent. Dump her off somewhere and come hear my band play in West Seattle on the 21st.
Or, er, we can meet somewhere for that beer sometime. Yeah, that’s it. Shoot me an email: this nym (at) gmail &c.
“Rmoney will lick you”
Four words that should NEVER appear together.
EXcellent. Dump her off somewhere and come hear my band play in West Seattle on the 21st.
Oh–I won’t be there that weekend, the ex wife is taking her over to report for the first time. But tell me when the band is playing again and I’ll make a point of getting there for that.
What sort of band is this? Polka, I hope!
Four words that should NEVER appear together.
Sometimes I re-read Tom Sawyer and laugh at the fact that kids used to threaten to “lick ya”. It doesn’t sound like the most terrible thing you can do to someone.
“My dad can lick your dad!”
I am a lecherous old troll and I don’t care.
Scandiwegian here so it’s part of my CULTURAL HERITAGE.
Scandiwegian here so it’s part of my CULTURAL HERITAGE.
German here so my cultural heri..
Never mind.
Polka, I hope!
I hate to polka hole in yer bubble but it’s more in the blues / rock / loud guitarz vein. Nakedbaconband will find examples in YouTuber land. Full disclosure: the recordings were made before I joined the band although the set list hasn’t changed much.
tell me when the band is playing again and I’ll make a point of getting there for that.
Finally read your original comment for content, I see what you were trying to tell me. Shoot me an email and we’ll set something up.
This sentence is being written in place of an incredibly lecherous comment regarding your ex and daughter that, after some consideration, I decided was beneath even me. You’re welcome.
I hate to polka hole in yer bubble but it’s more in the blues / rock / loud guitarz vein. Nakedbaconband will find examples in YouTuber land. Full disclosure: the recordings were made before I joined the band although the set list hasn’t changed much.
COOL–I’ll check it out!
And I will warn you as a buddy to NOT look too hard at my ex. You could suffer permanent damage. The years and being married to a guy a year older than my dad have not been kind to her.
And thank you for leaving tsamantha out of this.
And which instrument are you playing in the band now?
It’s the best of both worlds here — if you’re a young you can ogle the other youngs. If your an old you can pretend not to ogle the youngs and ogle all the smart, liberal, nerdy scientifical professor types, with their glasses and their intellectualism and their blouse where the top button just occasionally comes undone for some reason and…
I’ll be in my bunk.
I’m not (that) old!
Yay, I have a team! We’ll have to come up with a clever name and suitable mascot.
And which instrument are you playing in the band now?
Well I find myself stroking the other members’ egos… Oh wait, you meant literally. Bass.
suitable mascot.
Naked mole rat?
Too classy.
So I tried to read that Williamson shit.
Warning: Table ‘./drupal/watchdog’ is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: INSERT INTO watchdog (uid, type, message, variables, severity, link, location, referer, hostname, timestamp) VALUES (0, ‘php’, ‘%type: %message in %function (line %line of %file).’, ‘a:5:{s:5:\”%type\”;s:6:\”Notice\”;s:8:\”%message\”;s:28:\”Undefined variable: _SESSION\”;s:9:\”%function\”;s:17:\”masquerade_init()\”;s:5:\”%file\”;s:84:\”/var/local/www/live/releases/original/sites/all/modules/masquerade/masquerade.module\”;s:5:\”%line\”;i:43;}’, 3, ”, ‘http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/315981/ted-strickland-intellectually-dishonest-and-clown-kevin-d-williamson’, ‘http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=strickland&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCUQqQIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nationalreview.com%2Fcorner%2F315981%2Fted-strickland-intellectually-dishonest-an in /var/local/www/live/releases/original/includes/database.mysql.inc on line 148
HAHAHAHA
So I tried going to their home page and got the same result except this time I was also treated to this classic.
So it turns out that “Junk DNA” isn’t Junk after all. It’s instructions… or “gene switches” as they call it in an interview published in the New York Times. Errors or changes in this DNA contribute to diseases like MS, lupus, Crohn’s disease, etc. and also phenotypes such as adult height.
I fucking predicted it, and I bet anyone else familiar with software design had the same idea. When they finished mapping the Human Genome and announced that only 10% of it coded for proteins and called the rest “junk,” I was like What the fuck, ‘Junk?’ So 10% of the code describes the data structures… it’s pretty obvious the other 90% describes what you do with the structures.
It doesn’t take any fucking genius. Just being educated in something else besides your narrow specialty of research.
TEH AWESOME.
Rmoney accidentally confronts gay Vietnam vet.
WTF? It’s web-dork 101 to not display that kind of error detail to the end user. It does the end user no good and gives details of your systems away to attackers.
No wonder they’re begging for dough. Buncha noobs.
How the fuck did I miss that the first time it came around?!?
I bet they just left in the debugging overhead and cryptic comments.
/* XXX TODO FIXME: warning this new algorithm is mostly untested but seems to work and speeds up this subroutine by 2% I did see one weird edge case of a malignant tumor during testing, but I haven't been able to reproduce it. Should be fine, but double check this before final release, just in case. */
it’s pretty obvious the other 90% describes what you do with the structures.
What, data AND methods all rolled up into one …. object or something? INCONCEIVABLE!
Oh wait, you meant literally. Bass.
I was hoping you’d say singing…but wev.
That Chocolate Jesus cover is mighty badass. Your guitar player gots it goin on.
I fucking predicted it, and I bet anyone else familiar with software design had the same idea
YEAH YEAH–ME TOO. Um… not junk and stuff. Damnit! Totally not.
I guess by now you know I’m not an entymologist. Hell I can’t even spell it.
(Nor am I gay with an AIDS/death wish… I’ve been asked that too.)
OBS… that would be uber-cool if they found comments in the “junk” DNA.
I guess by now you know I’m not an entymologist. Hell I can’t even spell it.
I’m not an entymologist or a software engineer. I’m more of a boobs and ass man. I like lingerie and swimsuits, and occasionally some nice porn with the right ..er…actress. Hence my obliviousness to the genome and the previous statements that 90% of it is junk (though I would have been highly skeptical of that) and my inability to rebutt the statement.
I guess by now you know I’m not an entymologist. Hell I can’t even spell it.
I’ll just call you Elmer.
Elmer Stud!
If Williamson the charity case says Romney’s man man manliness is dependent on his business acumen then his ass must be up in the air waiting for Domney’s smack.
That Chocolate Jesus cover is mighty badass.
I fucking LOVE that song. Both the guitarists are pretty awesome. One of ’em spent some time in Thailand playing jazz professionally.
So I tried going to their home page and got the same result except this time I was also treated to this classic.
“As you can see, we suck as bad at web design as we do at pretty much everything else. PLEASE SEND MONEY!”
Awesome… I’m gonna need to pop a whole bushel of popcorn for this.
Nashville City Paper is reporting:
A bushel and a peck!
An anonymous individual or group is alleging that they have gained “all available 1040 tax forms”
“How many tax forms did you get?”
“All of ’em.”
Can. Not. Wait.
Oh balls. This reminds me of Chief Editor Kaffir, or whatever his name was, with the Michelle Obama “whitey tape.” I’ll believe it when I see it.
Yeah, after reading the actual news story, I’m both skeptical and deeply bugged by the ransom demand.
Ruh roh, I smell a Rovian rat. Remember Bush’s Texas guard “forged” documents ploy that got him off the hook? If there’s one fake tax return in this whole mess, then the MSM will declare it a smear against Romney and he’ll never, ever be asked again to release his returns. Mitt will be made to look the victim here and he’ll be inoculated against the whole tax thing.
Just for you, this month only, I got a two-for-one deal: Whitey Tape AND Mitt Romney 1040’s, 1998-2010 inclusive!
Buy in the next 24 hours & you get the Missing 18 Minutes of the Nixon Tapes AT NO EXTRA COST!!!!!!!!!!!
Operators are standing by!
I don’t want stolen copies of Mitt’s tax returns. I want him to feel humiliated as he hands over his returns to reporters.
Schadenfreud is in the seasoning, people.
People, I am asking you not be taken in by fake persons peddling lies.
In a few days, my company, will have, cleared with lawyers the original and only true company of tape of Michelle Obama’s “Whitey” tape AND a new STARTLING ReveLATION where Barak Obama admits to shooting the president Kennedy!!
Send money for legalities now!!
Ignore the fake Editor Korir! He is only trying to rob you with bogus goods!
The Whitey tape is ALREADY released – it is only unknown in America due to the corrupt Western media who refuse to air the devastating truth of how much Michelle Obama hates white people!
NOBODY has yet released the famous “Missing 18 Minutes” tape that recently came into our possession via a government insider working for the FBI calling himself “Strep Throat” – and our independant investigator from the esteemed Weekly World News has CONFIRMED that this tape is the real thing!
Add 10% to your order and we will also include a “McCain/Palin 2008” tote-bag (all major credit cards accepted)!
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Oh, I’m just as skeptical as you all… it’s gonna turn out to be a rubber Bigfoot suit made by a couple of 13 year olds.
But you’re not thinking it through. It’s a popcorn-hole stuffer no matter how you slice it.
First, it keeps Rmoney’s tax returns an item in the news cycle. He’s hoping we’ll forget about it and talk about Ryan’s marathon times instead, or Clint Eastwood, or “You didn’t build that,” or ANYTHING besides those returns. This is a big fuck you to Mitt no matter what happens, because even if they kill this item quick, the story will rise from the dead on Sep 28 whether or not the crypto key is released.
Second, let’s explore the matrix of Returns Real [Yes or No] X Payoff [Yes or No]:
Scenario 0: Returns Real=No x Payoff=No. They release a statement falsely claiming someone paid them, implying both that the returns exist, and it’s worth $1M to someone to keep them hidden. It will become a zombie conspiracy. Moar popcorn!
Scenario 1: Returns Real=No x Payoff=Yes. Someone fucking paid! That means that there must be some real damaging shit on those returns! That’s their story and they’re gonna stick to it. It’s essentially the same as scenario 0 with the added bonus of show me the money.
Scenario 2: Returns Real=Yes x Payoff=No. Returns go public. Moar popcorn!
Scenario 3: Returns Real=Yes x Payoff=Yes. See scenario 1. Plus they still have the option of releasing the key at a later date, with or without further blackmail.
Finally, there’s the meta scenario: the Secret Service will investigate this, since these are stolen IRS data, and it’s a Federal crime. They’ll be throwing whatever cryptoanalysis muscle they have into this, and I’m betting they’ll be able to crack the archive that was sent out, and it will wind up being a video Never Gonna Give You Up or something.
But even then, the meme of Romney’s missing tax returns will be back in the news cycle. Even better if Sep 28 rolls around before they can crack the key.
It’s a work of evil genius… beyond Rovian in its malevolent brilliance.
Oops, I meant to append “Moar Popcorn!” to every scenario.
Popcorn fail.
(shameface)
REDACTED?
Do not listen to this usurper false Editor Korir, people. His claims are worthless and he will send you empty envelopes!
My company’s merchandise is verified by noted scholar Jerome Corsi!! a man of imminent reputation. As well as the Whitey/Kennedy tape there are posters and stickers from the glorious campaign of Newt Gringrich. Hand signed!!!
Do not delay!11!
Usurping the Korir.
Nah, they don’t have them, it’s an obvious scam.
This is amusing http://itsnotonthetest.com/new-romney-ryan-posters/
LOLathon!
Of course it’s a scam. The validity of the claim isn’t what’s important.
The real value of this piece of performance art is that it returns Mittens’ tax returns to the news cycle over and over again. Today and tomorrow, again on Sept 28, and again on the day that USSS cracks the encrypted file and declares it a fraud.
By then it will be nearly October (assuming the USSS doesn’t recruit the NSA to help crack the crypto, in which case it will probably be cracked by next Monday) and voters will have had regular servings of “Mitt Romney’s Hidden Tax Returns.”
As it should be. If this sociopath can’t be honest about how he made his money, where he keeps it, and how he pays taxes on it, what the hell else can you trust him to be honest about?
Everyone hoped this day would come.
Through the epoch of evil & darkness, enduring the unspeakable horrors that we knew would blight our days & haunt our dreams for years to come, the implacable monolith of pure madness & obscenity apparently erected only to degrade & pollute all that is worthwhile in humankind, the seemingly endless litany of vile atrocities that no human being should ever have to witness, the seasons in hell with no escape in sight … somehow, flying in the face of reason, still humanity’s hope stood intact.
Finally, the nightmare is over.
Bullshit or not, I’m hoping that something does get released on the 28th.
Then we get this:
Rmoney: Those are not my real actual tax forms.
Everybody else: Okay, prove it!
The overall sense has been that, creatively, the show has run its course
Snark fails me.
I saw that too JR and without having seen 1 second of the programme, knew that it was a statement begging for the piss take.
Indeed, we Revoltas have a weakness for the low-hanging fruit.
As it were.
I had to sit through a few minutes of that show for a class. I have no idea how people manage to watch entire episodes, much less seasons.
Finally, the Democrats recognize Jeruslalem as the God given Captial of Israel. Even though I’m sure it made Obama throw up a little bit in his mouth.
holy crap…i can hear the coyotes outside…that is some loud howling…and it’s creepy…i hate those mangy bastards…
Finally, the nightmare is over.
i have not seen one single episode of that…and for that i am thankful…
fine…i’ll just go to bed and try to tune out the coyotes and not have nightmares about snooki…
When God gives you capital make capitalade? Probably it would be helpful iffen he gave marma and then you could make maramlade. The question then remains of what a marma is. Ancient scholars refer to a pungent water cress like plant found in swamp areas called Marme which could be used for poultices of a mainly sexual nature. This would seem to be a little strong to be putting on toast at breakfast, but it is a big wide world, innit?
Similarly the old Swiss name for the Marten is Mermy and whilst it said that there is good eating on them little buggers, they are similarly, maybe a bit strong for the breakfast or as John Evelyn said “The Marmy stinkes like unto heaven”.
So maybe, Lord, if you aren’t too busy with keeping Curiosity from finding the good stuff, a little clarity in the Marmalade stakes? Also WTF with making the Preznit feel ill?
.
I had to sit through a few minutes of that show for a class
Some class.
*Whew* Snark back to normal
Yes, the nightmare is over but that was the wrong question.
Phrased properly, it’s: Yes, we are better than we were four years ago.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/jersey-shore-has-finally-been-cancelled
Hey, I just set a new Paul Ryan-certified World Record! Thank you, jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming!
I had to sit through a few minutes of that show for a class
Fear & Loathing 101?
Forgotten how fast this site moves. Only a third of the way through the thread so pre-pologies for any AHEMable comments. Just that I wanted to answer tsam’s question:
Does anyone know if that’s the whole story? If that’s enough of it to get a clear picture, I can’t see why they should pay for gender reassignment either. It’s not critical to his/her health, strictly an elective surgery, and while there are psychological benefits, I’m not sure what real value there is in giving this person a costly treatment.
NRO links the Boston Globe article from which I will blockquote.
and
Is reassignment surgery expensive? How sbout compared to 24-7 suicide watch? Or fighting the professional opinions of your own medical staff in court?
Fuck those fuckers.
Word to your mothers.
re: Hawt college co-eds
There is a rather substantial industry which caters to the desire to lecherously ogle hard bodied fresh faced twenty-somethings. It’s called popular culture.
I prefer my leer-ees to have consented to my male gazing. Not to say I don’t notice beautiful women when they are around, just that noticing takes a couple seconds at most. Less if you don’t know who they are.
Finally, on the age question. If they are old enough and competent enough for college, they are more than capable of making informed decisions about interpersonal relationships and whether to sext me whatever video files they happen to have made. But they are the ones that have to make those decisions. And we talk about young women in this regard a lot because they are the predominant targets, but my rules hold for their moms too. And I guess their dads, but I personally mean that only in a totes heterosexual way.
Woot! Four inna row!
. If they are old enough and competent enough for college, they are more than capable of making informed decisions about interpersonal relationships and whether to sext me whatever video files they happen to have made.
you were joking here, right?
Four more posts! Four more posts! Four more posts! Four more posts!
– D-KW 2012
you were joking here, right?
Like everything I do, that was meant as a set-up for your mom.
But srsly – actually, not joking. If a person can manage to get into college, they are generally[1] competent enough to decide to make a sex tape. And they are competent enough to decide who to share it with. I mean yeah – kids these days offa mah lawn like getting into college is any sign of maturity etc etc. Still, if consent and personal choice means anything, then people should be allowed to exercise it[2].
Or was the question about whether or not I lust after women in their early twenties and would do anything with the tons of racy videos I get nearly constantly[3]? Generally no, but if they are moms,,, being able to juggle parenthood, college and making sex tapes is definitely the sign of an interesting person.
[1] Generally. I understand that there can be exceptions and special circumstances.
[2] To the extent that it does not interfere with others. Some negotiating and such. But consenting adults, yadda yadda.
[3] Not really.
Shorter D-KW: Old enough to matriculate, old enough to fornicate.
i’ll give you college jrs and srs, but freshmen and sophomores are generally just as idiotic as their high school counterparts…and i think competence at life and interpersonal relationships are not comparable…
i’ll give you college jrs and srs,
Line forms on the left.
enh…i planned on being at work already, so i better get cracking…big fundraiser golf tournament on saturday…am eagerly awaiting sunday…i don’t enjoy planning this event like i do our gala event…
So, nineteen and twenty year olds. Old enough to vote. Old enough to enlist in the armed forces and get sent overseas to kill strangers. Old enough to be tried by the criminal justice system as an adult.
Not old enough to strip in front of a webcam.
I will agree that folks this age generally[1] don’t have enough life experience to make the best choices all the time. But making questionable decisions at the stage in life is part of what defines us as human beings.
That said, Ultra Ninja is a year and a half. I will most likely change my mind about all of this as she approaches that age due to my being a huge hypocrite.
[1] And I have encountered people who have more life experience in their first two decades than I have in my four.
I will agree that folks this age generally[1] don’t have enough life experience to make the best choices all the time. But making questionable decisions at the stage in life is part of what defines us as human beings.
yes…
[1] And I have encountered people who have more life experience in their first two decades than I have in my four.
oh, yes…
That said, Ultra Ninja is a year and a half. I will most likely change my mind about all of this as she approaches that age due to my being a huge hypocrite.
undoubtedly…
On the topic of Mitt’s tax returns – if he was serious about his conservative values, shouldn’t he be happy to let everyone know that he avoids taxes? That paying a lower tax rate than the average Joe while being extremely ZOMG wealthy is essentially the conservative worldview. The ultimate good – having tons of cash with very little going to the parasitical moochers.
Seriously, how can he be embarassed about having an eight figure income while paying a third the tax rate that the average American does? That is essentially the GOP economic platform.
About the actual post (BTW, nice work there Cerb):
Who cares if it is fungible. A ton of tax dollars are earmarked for security[1] because that’s what it[1] costs (actually probably a lot moar). If that amount of money does get spent on security [1]- then it matters not a whit how fungible John Fund’s mom is[2]. It’s only an issue if the amount of money meant for security[1] isn’t spent on security[1 again].
[1] Security theatre actually.
[2] John Fund’s mom is not fungible at all. There is no one else like her, IYKWIMAITTYD.
If they are old enough and competent enough
for collegeto join the military and kill people, they are more than capable of making informed decisions about interpersonal relationships and whether to sext me whatever video files they happen to have made.Just thought I’d add a little perspective.
So, nineteen and twenty year olds. Old enough to vote. Old enough to enlist in the armed forces and get sent overseas to kill strangers. Old enough to be tried by the criminal justice system as an adult.
Not old enough to strip in front of a webcam
Or as Seth MacFarlane said via a Teddy Bear: “Old enough to bang, but too young to get drunk.”
There’s an Aesop here somewhere…maybe.
Because clearly it requires less judgement and wisdom and experience to decide in an instant if the person framed in the sights of a rifle deserves to live or die, than to decide on lager or doppelbock.
I’ll take a nice lager any day but I’m 40 so have some experience.
(beer snobs feel free to bash my position on re lagers vs dopplebocks)
hmmm. It seems I forgot about this. http://en.ayinger-bier.de/?pid=118
might have to do some more research.
I’ll take a nice lager any day but I’m 40 so have some experience.
Depends on what day it is. Hot summer day, I’ll take the lager. Ohio in December? Gimme the dopplebock.
But you are an experienced, steely eyed, decorated combat veteran. Clearly we cannot expect some wet behind the ears 18 year old to make the right choice.
I forgotted that you folks had that national 21 drinking age thing. Through the looking glass is what that is.
“Yeah, after reading the actual news story, I’m both skeptical and deeply bugged by the ransom demand.”
In a nod to Austin Powers supervillain Dr. Evil, all the hackers are demanding is one meeelion dollars. Did they just wake up from suspended animation?
Dopplebocks are lagers you fucking heathens!
Sheesh people, remember: Ale and lager denotes the types of yeast used and fermentation method not the beer style. It’s almost like you people don’t care about the important shit!
Dopplebocks are lagers you fucking heathens!
– Hangs head in shame –
Yeah, lager contains multitudes. I’m partial to a certain local India Pale Lager or a Rauchbier.
Now that the important business is out of the way, this is almost encouraging:
No shert Shitlock! ‘Bout fucking time you idjits figured that one out. Just don’t forget it as soon as election day passes. Again.
Yeah but I usually just mix with equal parts clam juice anyhow so who cares?
Question for the reigning beer expert –
Certain types of beer/ale seem to trigger an allergic reaction. I’ve mostly noticed this with IPAs and the really strong Belgian-styles.
I’ve actually had asthma attacks after drinking some of these (especially the Belgian ones).
I’m wondering if it’s the additional hops or the type of yeast?
I can usually drink red ales or pilsners without any trouble.
I would be for kolsch but I have no umlauts.
Major — I have a similar, but opposite issue, I get allergic (nasal mostly) reactions from many lagers but not from ales. The Belgian and IPA styles you mention are both ales, so I’d imagine it’s a reaction to the yeast, as I’ve always imagined my reaction to certain lagers is (Henry’s Private Reserve makes me feel like I have a cold for about an hour). Both lagers and ales use (often the same) hops, so that shouldn’t be it. And Belgian Strongs don’t have ridiculous amounts of hops either, so that seems unlikely.
Just my $0.02
And here’s an umlaut for El. M: kölsch.
Also too &c: lots of commercial breweries use a single ale yeast strain for all their ale styles (unfortunately, IMO, but that’s another topic). If you notice a reaction to a particular brand of beer and it’s the yeast, it may be that you’d be allergic to all their beers. Generally Belgian ale yeasts are pretty different though and can also include bacterial souring so maybe there’s something else going on there too.
I am ignoring this travesty on purpose.
FOURTH!
I forgotted that you folks had that national 21 drinking age thing.
Every day the White House & Capitol are not burned down like a blunt = a minor miracle.
Dopplebocks are lagers you fucking heathens!
Dopplebock versus lager? O lordy, I LOL’d so hard I almost hurt myself.
< /canadian >
I actually posted that (mostly) for SMG but am glad I could offend you.
Both lagers and ales use (often the same) hops
Will that be Saaz or Cascade? I remember the old days when the answer to “what beers you got?” was “both of ’em.”
BBKF! Quick, quick there’s a new Louis vs Rick. Teehee.
I …have failed.
but I am confused but I am here to learn, if yeast type and fermentation type do not change the beer style, what does?
…if yeast type and fermentation type do not change the beer style, what does?
Yeast/fermentation type do change beers – lager are bottom fermenting and ales are top fermenting. Two distinctive styles of beer although there is a lot of variability within each style.
The variety between one lager and the next, or one ale yadda yadda. That comes from all the other stuff – original gravity, amount and nature of the hops, how dark the malt is roasted or what blend of malts are used, anti-Bavarian Purity Law additives, the temperature of fermentation, how many monks were required to develop the original recipe, the material of your wort pot, whether it is your first or fifteenth beer of the evening. Stuff like that.
It’s pronounced LAHZHAY.
Yeah, I know that feeling.
It’s pronounced LAHZHAY.
I am woefully out of date with the non-distilled potables of Europe, but French beer – still as good as English wine?
French beer – still as good as English wine?
That’s been my experience. Kronenbourg is pretty forgettable.
There might be some good beer from Alsace, since it’s closer to Germany both geographically and culturally.
Ješt? pivo, prosím.
I see DKW already answered, but I’ll state it this way:
lager and ale are the classes
bock/doppelbock/pilsner/american-piss-water/etc and ipa/porter/brown/stout/etc are the subclasses
Pastefail — that was in response to:
Some French saisons and biere de gardes are to fucking die for.
I feel the same way about lager and ale that I do about coffee, steak, and sex: there’s a very wide range of acceptable, but when available I’ll take the best.
I can appreciate the finest, most well-crafted beers (the very best examples of which I’ve found at Oregon microbrew festivals, btw), but I’ll drink anything that’s not absolutely horrible (e.g., Milwaukee’s Best, Corona, anything ‘Light’) and enjoy myself.
Fortunately, there are Trader Joe’s nearly everywhere now, and they sell two of my faves: Murphy’s Stout and Full Sail Amber.
two of my faves
Specifically, I meant favorite commercial beers.
The best beer I ever tasted was a chamomile ale at a microbrew festival… I believe it was at McMenamin’s Lighthouse in Lincoln City… but that trip was an alcohol and cannabis induced haze, so it could have been Eugene.
A proper Oregon trip!
Although now that I think about it those are mostly made in the French speaking regions of Belgium right near the French border…
Mmm, Saison Dupont…
I’ll stop now. I’m going to have to go have a beer with lunch, dagnabbit!
Well, my standard for a proper Oregon trip was set in 1994 when my brother-in-law and I went to Eugene for the Dead shows at Autzen and spent the first half of the week at the Kesey Farm at Pleasant Hill. After that, I don’t remember much detail except handing out doses from a steadily dwindling sheet of completely unadulterated blotter acid, torrential rain for the first show, sunburn after the second show, and perfect weather for the third show, and then following the Merry Pranksters’ “Twister” bus around for a few shows… until we ran out of money and weed and headed home to CA.
Every other trip I’ve taken to OR has been no comparison to that trek.
Some French saisons and biere de gardes are to fucking die for.
Hmmm. But how about the lahzhays? j/k I’m an ale man when I’m not drinking bourbon or in Costa Rica.
OT but local LEAFS SUCK news closing up at the momento. Last time our right wing mayor caught folks attention was when his own hand-picked transit commissioner lead a revolt against him and turfed his unilaterally decreed transit plan. And since Rob Ford is Rob Ford, there’s been some other intervening lulziness about weight loss and Pride parades and such.
But now, in his second day in court he’s been accused of lying under oath.
He’s got an unshakeable alibi – Rob Ford claims he’s ignorant. Hard to argue with that.
And this makes FOUR!
Case closed.
Join Jay Nordlinger for a meditation on…WHORES.
One!
“I don’t think anyone predicted that would be the case.”
That struck me as hubris, as well. We don’t know what it does, so it’s junk.
Typical government-handout parasite.
Joining the nordlinger
…
Eeeew!
Those other people should really consider the ramifications of their arguments. For example, I imagine it will be a hell of a lot easier to pay for this young woman’s birth control from the pool of people whose conscience it doesn’t offend, than it might be to pay for certain land wars in Asia from a similar pool of people who think those are a good idea.
Lingering the Nord.
I don’t know what Nordling entails, but I bet you have to wash your hands afterwards.
Jay Nordlinger knows creepy. Alas, he does not know what the fuck Sandra Fluke testified about. Idiot? Potatoes in ears? Who knows?
OH WAIT–In NordlingerWorld (aka any dumbfuck world), coverage by your health plan means someone else is paying for it. NOW I know why Sandra is SUCH A SLUT.
I enjoyed this, when I read it in the papyrus edition, enough to go and sign in to copy it. A supporter of ‘the Romney’, interviewed by Dan Halperin for an article on ‘the Romney’ in Harper’s.
Is it sorta like noodling, but instead of using your fist, you use your penis?
We have three hundred million gun owners in this country.
Neat trick with an entire population of 311,591,917. Looks like everyone I know has been keeping secrets from me.
Stealing candy from a baby is now impossible.
Wait. Those aren’t Nordlinger entrails. Just the products thereof.
OH WAIT–In NordlingerWorld (aka any dumbfuck world), coverage by your health plan means someone else is paying for it.
Wouldn’t this “logic” only work if there weren’t premiums and copays for the slutty sluts?
Also: WTF?
Wait, no I don’t. WTF is wrong with all these people? Since when does the MRA squad jump to the defense of Catholics with their Kennedys and their and funny hats and their child rape and such? OH, since Obama tried to keep them from excluding coverage for their employees at places like hospitals where the whole birth control thing is totally not taken seriously.
There may be three hundred million guns that are privately owned in this country, but even that is a stretch, given how many seem to be heading south for a working vacation in Mexico.
Geoffrey P.Hunt
AKA Mike.
Hee hee hee…..
We have three hundred million gun owners in this country.
Hm, no. Sorry bro. I think ya better check yer math. This sum gots poop all over it from spending all that time up yer butt.
Then I will join the Democrats and fear leprosy no more.
Wouldn’t this “logic” only work if there weren’t premiums and copays for the slutty sluts?
Yeah, but that’s nothing more than irrelevant minutia, my dear. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about. Where’s that sammich I ordered?
The blackouts have to do with solar energy, the sunspots—and Obama’s behind it.
And here I was thinking it was the poppy infused vodka.
We have three hundred million gun owners in this country.
Makes me wonder if I own a gun. I have to admit I don’t know what’s in all these boxes.
I do know that we keep buying things we own and have misplaced or forgotten.
Another typical government handout parasite.
Where’s that sammich I ordered?
You mean the knuckle one I got for you RIGHT HERE?
For the Democrats,
This reminds me of those daily or so treats that began with “For the goddamn batman…”, which I sorely miss.
You mean the knuckle one I got for you RIGHT HERE?
Whoa, easy now..must be that time of the mo…OH GOD WHY CAN’T I SHUTUP?
I just found the candidate the Republicans will run in 2016.
He’s perfect! So dreamy, and way more sympathetic and human than Willard.
Barney Frank: “I’m … inclined to think they’re called the Log Cabin Club because their role model is Uncle Tom,”
Must go see if Teh GayPutzRioters heads are all asplodey like.
Barney Frank: “I’m … inclined to think they’re called the Log Cabin Club because their role model is Uncle Tom,”
Barney has a pretty shady past but damn is that dude fucking FUNNY.
Big Ho’s William Bigelow is angry about being duped into liking a gay character.
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/08/29/paranorman-first-gay-animated-character
[emphasis mine]
Hm. Did the boner grow or deflate?
Holy fuck! I made the mistake of mango hunting there, something I had never before done. Ho. Lee. Fuck.
If only people had to wear badges of different colors so we could know how much to hate them.
Before you know it, you’re having buttsex and LIKING IT! Those crafty homos. What will they think of next?
I don’t recall the character Mitch as being all that likeable. He’s a secondary character who is kind of an amiable doofus.
What will they think of next?
Strap on dildos… that point in?
From those comments:
This comment:
Was answered by this:
NOTHING but NOTHING gets by this guy.
What will they think of next?
Fleshlights… with moustaches?
amiable doofus.
…with giant muscles, and armband tattoo, very tight t-shirt and is dumb as a rock. What’s not to like for a totally-NOT-gay-you-guys gay recruitment concern troll?
Fuck. We can barely get that many to get out of their Barcaloungers and vote for a President. He’s saying that they’ll all go in for armed insurrection and all the physical exercise that goes with it? Yah, right.
If you’re counting rubber band guns and water pistols, maaaaaaayyybe.
What will they think of next?
Staying closeted… to infiltrate the GOP?
It’s a time-honored technique of the gay community to hide the fact that a character is gay until the audience has developed a real affinity for him/her, then catch the audience off-guard by divulging that the character is gay.
It’s a time-honored technique of story-telling.
Fitting the gay community into the writer’s room is somewhat tricky itself.
Strap on dildos… that point in?
You don’t need a strap…as long as you have a wetsuit.
Comment awesomeness. GET READY TO CHANGE YOUR VIEWS ABOUT GAY RIGHTS:
Finally–the perfect metaphor!
Fitting the gay community into the writer’s room is somewhat tricky itself.
It is, considering all those JOOOOOOOZZZZZ in the room already. It’s like Hitler n junk.
There’s a Pink Swastika joke in there somewhere.
I’m sure I’ll come up with a real zinger when I’m unable to post it, like all of my material that is actually funny or intelligent or worth the time to read…
Sorry suckahs, eat my crappy jokes!
<i.Alas, [Nordlinger] does not know what the fuck Sandra Fluke testified about. Idiot? Potatoes in ears? Who knows?
You left out “not caring about actual testimony, preferring own strawmen”.
Is there a specific fetish involving strawmen? Rule 34 DO NOT WANT.
For the Democrats, dissing God has no repercussions.
Omnipotent universe-creating entities have self-esteem issues and will NOT BE IGNORED.
Hitler n junk.
Sounds like the name of one of those boutiques you find in the corner of the mall, catering to the hip heroin and swastika set.
If Star Trek fans acted in the same way that gays act
Special get-togethers wearing costumes? Events attract few women? High interest in Roddenberries and being beamed-up?
Is there a specific fetish involving strawmen? Rule 34 DO NOT WANT.
Hayed fuck?
If Star Trek fans acted in the same way that gays act
The world would thank them for getting some fashion sense.
I think every parent already DOES pray their children aren’t trekkies–don’t they?
Fitting the gay community into the writer’s room is somewhat tricky itself.
It’s counterintuitive, but you have to push.
It’s a time-honored technique of story-telling.
So you’re saying that reading books makes you gay? That answers a TON OF QUESTIONS.
It must be tiring to be so constantly outraged. You have to go back and re-read a comic but this time hating one of the subsidiary characters, you have to go around waffling on to strangers about imaginary revolutions, you have to have some wierd-shit idea about Star Trek and pretend that it’s a real thing.
Fuck that.
The truthiness of fact checking.
So you’re saying that reading books makes you gay? That answers a TON OF QUESTIONS.
I was just pointing out that story-tellers rarely divulge everything on the first page. But yes, yes it does.
It must be tiring to be so constantly outraged
Being offended and shitting our pants because gay people lurk among us is our REAL national pastime.
Speaking of fact checkers, did anyboy read Matt Apuzzo’s steaming pile?
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/06/1128450/-AP-fact-checkers-bias-is-showing
I was just pointing out that story-tellers rarely divulge everything on the first page
I was pointing out that a tangential little surprise toward the end of the movie to get a laugh out of the audience is JUST LIKE HITLER AND STALIN AND OBAMA. Plus if kids SEE gay people, they will BE gay people. Especially if they get tricked into LIKING an icky gay.
I work in a lab part-time. One of the people there is gay. Now I wear a labcoat all the time and gloves most of the time but I am in the same room frequently and I sit in chairs they have sat in at times.
What sort of risk do I have of catching teh ghey germs?
Also that person is friendly and helpful and knowledgeable TO EVERYONE! So cunning eh! By golly it’s lucky that the righties can type through the buzzing noises in their heads to warn us.
People are still complaining about his comment about Lewinsky?
I’ve got plenty of problems with Clinton, but that ain’t one of them. That was nobody’s fucking business.
For god’s sake whip up some anti-gay medicine quick!
Asking for a friend.
My favorite part of the Breitbart Whinely post:
Cause there has NEVER been an openly gay character in an animated movie or series. Nope. Yeah, maybe if you erased like every other country’s (especially Japan’s) animated productions, all the indie American stuff too…
Heck, let’s just limit it to Disney animated movies and even then, honestly, Malificent and the Evil Queen from Snow White are a little too obsessed if you know what I mean.
But yeah, the whole thing can be summarized. What! A gay person is just a person rather than a horned demon out to slaughter all straight people? Having me discover this is worse than 20 Hiroshimas and a Transformers 3!!!!
Exit, stage left.
It’s just that the whipping turns it in unsavoury directions
Also that person is friendly and helpful and knowledgeable TO EVERYONE!
He’s just trying to lure you into a life of crazy buttsex.
SLIPS IN FIRST OPENLY GAY ANIMATED CHARACTER
Obviously, Snagglepuss has never been on his radar, sonar even.
I see Mr McGravitas has stepped on my comment’s dick.
New boots!
I should register over there to point out that A) you can’t always tell who’s a fag which means b) you are all the time breathing air that gays have breathed before you. MWAHAHAHA
It’s a time-honored technique of the gay community to hide the fact that a character is gay until the audience has developed a real affinity for him/her, then catch the audience off-guard by divulging that the character is gay.
Like somebody said, this is a storytelling technique. But it led me to think about JK Rowling. She is really open about the fact that her protagonists are wizards. And of course the fundies detest wizards, but perhaps worse, she let slip that one kindly old wizard is gay — which is to say, she thinks of him as a gay character but never outs him in print. (SNL had a fun skit on this topic.) All of which leads me to a potentially fun fundie/wingnut poking technique:
It’s a time-honored technique of the wizard community to hide the fact that a character is a wizard until the audience has developed a real affinity for him/her, then catch the audience off-guard by divulging that the character is a wizard.
Chip and Dale? Always handling each others’ nuts.
[Hitler n Junk] Sounds like the name of one of those boutiques you find in the corner of the mall, catering to the hip heroin and swastika set.
That shop name could be taken to another level — trite, or kitschy, or possibly gay* — with a modification:
Hitler ‘n’ Junk Too
*Here I am tarring the gay community’s esthetic sense with a feather provided by a gay hotel once (possibly still) found in Palm Springs, “Treehouse Too.”
Oh yeah, like that many of these people are going to go live in the mountains, miles from the nearest Chik-fil-a or Wal-mart.
FIRST OPENLY GAY ANIMATED CHARACTER
Hmmph.
After googling, I must provide a correction. Treehouse Too was a nudist haven opened on the site of an “abandoned [on Palm Canyon Blvd.?!] 29-room hotel that once catered to gay clients.” Bonus mango:
Critics of nudism, such as David Woodel of the California-based American Family Association, contend that the practice amounts to “live pornography”
Critics of nudism, such as David Woodel of the California-based American Family Association, contend that the practice amounts to “live pornography”
From what I’ve seen of nudists “pornographic” is the last thing that comes to mind.
The sad fact is, most of us look a heck of a lot better with our clothes on.
What if a hundred million revolt?
“The people are revolting!”
“You said it, they stink on ice!”
Waylon Smithers said
Snagglepuss called and said, “Whatever.”
“The sad fact is, most of us look a heck of a lot better with our clothes on.”
That’s what the “Treehouse Too” owner says in the interview. It is as if he wants to allay your concerns that you’ll see anybody attractive at his satellite establishment.
What if a hundred million revolt?
“The people are revolting!”
“You said it, they stink on ice!”
Mel stole it from my grandmother:
“Sire, sire, the peasants are revolting!”
“The peasants are revolting? The peasants are disgusting.”
Droopy Dog – as the Simpsons pointed out – was the gayest character ever.
Although I do seem to remember a chickenhawk…
My Twitter feed was just infected by a “promoted tweet” from John Boehner. Ha!
Promoting Boehner’s tweets.
John Kerry: Ask bin Laden if he’s better off than he was four years ago.
Can someone explain this cartoon to me? Because I genuinely don’t understand it.
Beats me too, Spearhafoc. Maybe the titles or words for another cartoon got mixed up
Droopy Dog – as the Simpsons pointed out – was the gayest character ever.
Could have sworn that was Huckleberry Hound.
BS is correct.
Can someone explain this cartoon to me? Because I genuinely don’t understand it.
I think what we have there is the cartoon equivalent of the Clint Eastwood speech or skit or whatever that train wreck was.
BS is correct.
I am very, very proud of my skills in Simpsons trivia.
Can someone explain this cartoon to me?
No. Well, maybe if you have a traumatic brain injury then it might make sense to you,
BS is correct. And I have learned to never argue with BS.
I have learned to never argue with BS.
Why does everyone keep saying that to me, even when I’m not using my nym?
The Illuminati told them to.
No. Well, maybe if you have a traumatic brain injury then it might make sense to you,
Actually, if you think enough about it, it becomes this weird, almost meta concept. A cartoon that tries to use the bizarre Clint Eastwood thing against(?) the Democrats ends up being as bizarre and nonsensical as the thing itself. It’s almost Escheresque.
Can someone explain this cartoon to me? Because I genuinely don’t understand it.
Somebody beat the cartoonist over the head with a mallet and now he thinks the disaster he watched last week was the Democratic convention?
Dammit, Pupi.
It sort of moibus strip cartooning without the joined up bit.
Ah ahahahahahahahah
Catalino the so-called cartoonist has a bit of a thang for the empty chair.
It’s a meme innit, and as in the playground, merely repeating it causing trouser wetting glee. Actually being a smidgen funny doesn’t come into it.
merely repeating it causing trouser wetting glee
HEY! I don’t attack your lifestyle without warning.
I just watched Bill Clinton’s convention speech in full, and I’ve gotta say holy shit. I can’t remember where I differ (and I do) with this speaker. That was a speech like few others I’ve seen or, I suspect, read about.
If the republican party has Clinton’s equivalent, let them show him to the arena. What the fuck. This guy is a titan; and whatever my considerable misgivings, there’s a solid bench behind him, not to mention Obama. The (r) side is a smattering of cretins and worse. God damn …
“… let them show him (OR HER) to the arena”
There, you see? My habits are amended in the light of a good liberal bulb. Let’s do this.
From Slate:
Regarding Twitter attacks against Sandra Fluke following her speech at the DNC…
Todd Kincannon, whoever the fuck that is, via Twitter:
Slate:
f the republican party has Clinton’s equivalent, let them show him to the arena.
Of course they do. The last president. His name is George V. Birch, or something like that. It’s hard to remember. He doesn’t get out much–certainly not to arenas.
@Golem;
That’s one reason I hate Bill Clinton so much. He’s the guy who hamstringed the aid to families programs (calling that welfare reform), signed Phil Gramm’s hand written legislation in the last 2 minutes of his presidency that deregulated the shit out of the banking, finance and insurance industries, and heavily promoted and signed NAFTA.
On top of that, he makes me want to jump out of my seat and yell FUCK YEAH! when he’s giving a speech because he’s SO FUCKING GOOD. He’s only getting better as he gets older. Then I have to remind myself that he was pretty much a Republican, and that he has a Southern accent, which is the mark of the beast.
If you’ve haven’t seen the Family Guy that featured Bill Clinton, you MUST see it. It does him perfect justice.
Yes, tsam.
How this politician, with these views, leads me to the seraglio is a mystery beyond my explanatory capacities. (I am probably a sort of fellow who should go mum for a few months, for safety’s sake?)
Clinton made a point of not hamstringing, but throat-cutting hopes for rebooting the U.S.’ O.S. and here I am kissing his ass for it. <Being glib.
Catalino the so-called cartoonist has a bit of a thang for the empty chair.
Oh that guy has the worst case of lameness ever.
Does someone pay him to do that shit? Clownhall probably pays him in microwave burritos or something.
Clinton made a point of not hamstringing, but throat-cutting hopes for rebooting the U.S.’ O.S. and here I am kissing his ass for it. <Being glib.
I bought the Obama’s bullshit too and have yet to forgive myself. These days I’m glad to see Clinton as a weapon in the fight against the Robber Baron candidate and his Boy Plunder. That’s all we’ve got to hang on to anymore, it seems.
I am probably a sort of fellow who should go mum for a few months
Dragon-King Wangchuck may not appreciate the competition.
pays him in microwave burritos or something
You can get paid like that? Mmmmmm microwaved processed food
How this politician, with these views, leads me to the seraglio
I have heard some New Zilder describe being in room when Clinton paid a surprise visit and the guy saying “I did not see him but I felt him walk in”. A compelling guy, apparently.
Or one who very handsy.
merely repeating it causing trouser wetting glee
HEY! I don’t attack your lifestyle without warning.
If they’re your trousers it’s OK. Other people’s trousers could be a problem.
Well, Obama’s speech wasn’t terrible. I still think Michelle should have been the preznit instead.
HEY! I don’t attack your lifestyle without warning.
Well, look iffen you “Wetties” want respect you have to earn it. Ever thought of plastic over-trousers at meetings?
IT’S NOT A GODDAMN LIFESTYLE. I WAS BORN THIS WAY.
Good lord. This msnbc crew is such a toolshed.
Ever thought of plastic over-trousers at meetings?
There’s a reason the word “moist” has a bad rep.
Because it is so close to Maoist. Yes, yes it is.
From what I’ve read on Mao’s personal hygiene, “moist” is less descriptive than “infested.”
I bought the Obama’s bullshit too and have yet to forgive myself
there there, it’s okay. just be more careful in e future, k?
Just tuned in the Leno show for the first time in awhile.
When did he start sounding like Elmer Fudd?
there there, it’s okay. just be more careful in e future, k?
Careful I shall be. Doubt that not.
When did he start sounding like Elmer Fudd?
When he started looking like him?
I am probably a sort of fellow who should go mum for a few months
Dragon-King Wangchuck may not appreciate the competition.
🙁
…When did he start sounding like Elmer Fudd?…
When did you first start to think he sounds like Elmer Fudd?
Oh, the fever, the Catch 22 fever:
http://www.hmpthameside.org/recruitment.php
http://www.hmpthameside.org/recruitment.php
Oh I see, it’s the “latest development in Serco’s prison portfolio.”
Interesting phrase. Here’s an unwieldy one:
“Are you ready to reshape the way prison substance misuse services are delivered in the future?”
Are you ready to unintentionally write creepy ad copy?
You can spot the extremists because they are pissed off and aren’t wearing suits. Smiling men in suits can’t possibly be extremists.
No, that’s it. That’s the argument. Compelling.
Smiling men in suits can’t possibly be extremists.
Yesterday I reread a Dave Neiwert piece (here) and in light of it, that editorial cartoon is just another example of the Right accusing its critics of Waving the Bloody Shirt.
The American Right does harbor (and other verbs) liars, racists, women-haters, and ideological extremists, including ones who kill. The cartoon comes from an outraged sense of persecution: the real crime is to speak out against them, it says.
Smiling men in suits can’t possibly be extremists.
Is that really how the sheepublicans see those men? Romney like a genetic hybrid of Dick Nixon and George Hamilton, and Ryan as some 80’s sitcom dad with a goofy smile and puppydog eyes?
Well, anyone who’s planning on voting for them that doesn’t have a couple million in the bank, sure isn’t looking at the republican candidates very closely. Or it’s not so much that they are voting for republicans, as they are voting against Obama.
They see Romney for exactly what he is. A sleazy liar who will say or do anything to get elected. Normally that would be fine with Republicans, since they’ll pretty much believe anything you tell them as long as there is a reference to God attached to it and a record of channelling government funds away from people and into the hands of defense contractors, oil tycoons and Wall Street barons. Romney has Romneycare and a ton of liberal-ish statements on video from his race against Kennedy. That sort of business isn’t forgiven or forgotten among Repigs.
Unfortunately a lot of people don’t seem to give it much thought – they just vote Republican because, hey, that’s what you do.
They like to make it seem like voting R is a heroic act. “I’m a staunch Republican.”
It IS a heroic act. Don’t forget about guns. Democrats are chomping at the bit to take them all away. You guys know that. As soon as they find someone dumb enough to go knock on a door in rural Mississippi and demand the guns, that is. Lots of volunteers for that job, yes?
I’d be more afraid of knocking on doors and demanding guns in suburban Florida, but maybe that is my personal bias.
“Staunch Republican,” hehe.
What gets me is the habit of lauding the firmness of someone’s convictions. Sure, he’s wrong about everything, but on the positive side, he’s close-minded!
I’m a staunch liberal, meaning I can’t find any reason to change how I feel about liberty and justice for ALL, (not just people I think meet some standard of what I feel is truly American), but I am a tentative Democrat at best. It’s a heroic act to get the fuck over yourself and use your vote to stick up for things that you don’t understand, or that you even dislike. It’s rather chickenshit to vote a party line without a little bit of thought about who you’re empowering.
I’d be more afraid of knocking on doors and demanding guns in suburban Florida, but maybe that is my personal bias.
In Washington, anywhere in excess of 20 miles if I5 is a place you do NOT want to try that shit in. I’d be just as afraid here as there.
I’ll do whatever I want to because I’M A STAR, goddamn it… [snerk]
Well shit. This place has so little going on I’ve been amusing myself by slapping the GayPutzRioters up the head. I enjoy picturing them foaming at the mouth, they’re so angry! I think of myself as an anti-troll … wait, make that a nega-troll over there, riling them up into virtual paroxysms by using logic and reason and stuff.
I could ramble on about random inconsequential beer factoids some more, I know how everyone enjoys that.
Or, if you’re a runner (like me) you could go read this interesting article about a guy that apparently concocted an elaborate scheme to cheat and fake a bunch of sub 3-hour marathon finishes (sorta like a more determined Lyin’ Ryan). And the best part is that they know he cheated, but still can’t figure out exactly how he managed to do it.
I could sexually harass you. Or make some really really shitty jokes.
Shitty and tasteless? Those are the best.
Shitty and tasteless?
Is there any other kind? They all start with some small group of people walking into a bar and end with a racial/bigoted slur.
Except this one. A horse walks into the bar. Bartender says: “Hey, why the long face?”
LOL LOL LOL. That shit be funny. Just admit it.
I am disturbed that you used the words “shitty jokes” in such close proximity to the words “sexually harass.”
DO NOT WANT.
I read that New Yorker article in print, OBS. Very interesting. The marathon faker is quite a piece of work. I wonder if he’ll ever drop the bullshit. He does resemble a certain type of politician in that he just keeps bullshitting, adjusting his rap, claiming victimhood long after every sane observer has written him off. The journalist is right (IIRC) that in an absurd and frustrating sense this guy wins if nobody can figure out precisely how the scam works.
Mitt Romney walks into a bar …
Yeah, and it’s not like he wasn’t a decent runner already, just not great. Why work so hard on the scheme to cheat? It’s just plain weird.
Bartender says “your usual, Willard?”
I could sexually harass you. Or make some really really shitty jokes.
Better yet, how about some really shitty jokes that combine tastelessness and sexual harassment? Those are always the funniest ones.
OBS, I think Kip Litton (marathon fraud) has a personality disorder. Hard to say which one, long-distance diagnosis being a bad idea, and me no doctor, but yeah — some kinda p.d.
The similarities with Lyin’ Ryan continue to accrue.
And seriously people, I’ve been trying to bring the goods — not a single person thinks the remote controlled cockroach I linked to is worthy of even a WTF?
[long resigned sigh]
Better yet, how about some really shitty jokes that combine tastelessness and sexual harassment? Those are always the funniest ones.
I’ve noticed the bitchez love those things. There is no corrolation between those and my relationship status (single for the forseeable future and being far more interested in getting a fishing boat than a girlfriend).
Getting a girlfriend and buying her lots of diamonds might be cheaper in the long run.
Getting a girlfriend and buying her lots of diamonds might be cheaper in the long run.
I used to have a boat. Now I just use the “boat simulator”.
Just take a cold shower while tearing up $100 bills and making boat noises.
You get cold, wet and broke without all the additional hassle.
The remote-controlled cockroach is remarkable, worth at least a WTF, but you hid that candle under a bushel, or something.
The researchers’ means of control are really simple, brutal and creepy. I would have assumed some knowledge of how a nervous system works would be required, but no, just a black-box grasp of how the roach acts on signals from the antennae and eyes.
Getting a girlfriend and buying her lots of diamonds might be cheaper in the long run.
Extra cost of a boat, fishing gear, batteries every year, tires, maintenance, gas, licensing, storage…TOTALLY WORTH IT.
See, the problem is this. I’ve been dating here and there for the last year. I’ve confirmed via my own testing that the axiom about 30-40 something singles are single for a REASON (including me, yes), and all I found out there were two extremes. 1) The stuck up, snobby asshole that won’t give you the time of day. 2) The clingy, needy train wreck that can’t seem to come to terms with me having a life outside of a relationship that I haven’t even established yet.
So I gave up. When my daughters are out of the house, I’ll go fishing, play golf, go see cool stuff like Civil War sites, DC, New Orleans, The Keys, New York, San Francisco, Mexico, Europe, Australia, and YES NEW FUCKING ZEALAND, maybe stop in on a Sadly in NZ, also go to Vegas and see naked hot girls dancing, etc…
I’ve got lots of stuff I want to do and I’ve gotten pretty used to the idea of being alone. I’m thinking that was my destiny, determined by my personality type. I guess that type is surly asshole?
The remote-controlled cockroach is remarkable
Could we put frikkin laser beams on their heads?
Could we put frikkin laser beams on their heads?
Why don’t we just resurrect Hitler and give him the atomic bomb? You’re not a very good strategist, Major.
You guess? I assumed you had that embroidered on your jacket.
(I am also a surly asshole — I embroidered that on my hat though.)
You guess? I assumed you had that embroidered on your jacket.
HA! I don’t, but I will by the end of next week!
[While squatting in the rubble]: no one could have foreseen that arming the roaches was a bad idea.
Sure do look funny with arms though.
Yeah, and it’s not like he wasn’t a decent runner already, just not great. Why work so hard on the scheme to cheat? It’s just plain weird.
And it’s not like sub-three is out of the range of the fit, decent runner who trains. A friend in the 40s ran 2:47 in Boston a couple years ago. Thousands of people have done it.
And it’s not like sub-three is out of the range of the fit, decent runner who trains.
I think I could do it, in one of those chairs the emperors used to ride around in, with about 8 really fast runners hauling my sorry ass.
(this is the kind of shit my brain comes up with after flying all night and getting 2.5 hours of sleep)
That is fast — I’m a “fit, decent runner who trains” and there’s no fucking way I could get down to sub 3:00. No. Fucking. Way. That’s why Lyin’ Ryan’s false claim was jumped on so quickly — it’s hard.
Brent Bozell is OUTRAGED:
My father went to Catholic school in the 1950s. By his description “sadistic” was the norm for nuns back then.
Sometimes the nuns would lock them in the basement with the rats for misbehavior. Until one aspiring young delinquent figured out how to trap the rats and let them loose upstairs…..
I guess I shouldn’t judge by the people I know, who apparently are pretty fast, but the runners I heard or read on it doubted it not because it was out of the realm of possibility but because 1. he ran only one, and it’s the sort of time you don’t just get if you don’t run marathons but mainly 2. he didn’t know his exact time, which according to them is like forgetting your own birthday.
My father has never waxed poetic about the 1950s.
He grew up in a rough, Pennsylvania steel town near Philadelphia. Growing up dark complected with an ethnic sounding last name in the 1950s put you about one notch above blacks in the food-chain.
His father beat the crap out of him. The nuns beat the crap out of him. The priests beat the crap out of him. The public school teachers beat the crap out of him.
He once told me “Everybody was allowed to take a shot at you back then. I just wanted people to stop hitting me.”
Brent Bozell plot line: a nice nun helped people.
Yes, true — you remember that shit. I could rattle off my PRs from the mile all the way through to 50km, no problem. I won’t bore anyone with that.
And I tend to hang out with trail ultra-marathon runners, where speed isn’t as emphasized as ridiculous endurance, that may be skewing my (anec)data.
I run. Well not really, mostly I jog. When I was jogging “regularly” my usual outing was 10 km in an hour – mostly flat street running. I’m a bit slower now that I’m pushing a stroller with me.
But when I started I noticed the improvement in my pace and distance, and it is pretty remarkable. It is certainly not inconceivable for someone in their 30’s or 40’s to pick up running and get to sub-3. Especially if they are independently wealthy and have all the time in the world to train. And are obsessive A-type personalities with Marathon sized egos and a compulsive need to win. Given that, it is actually kinda surprising that Lyin’ Ryan has not completed a sub-3. Excepting for the fact that he totally sucks.
A 2:59:36 hour marathon finish requires an average pace of 6:51 per mile.
For twenty six point two miles.
That’s a hard to thing do.
OBS moar beer factoids please. All this talk of running is making me feel so inadequate.
How ’bout both?
Beer is a better recovery drink after a run than water.
You’re welcome.
Oh, and this starts Monday. I’m not excited at all. Nope, not one bit.
And just to round things out, have a tasteless joke that doesn’t involve beer or running.
True. At my fastest, my fast “run” was four miles in half an hour. Sub-3 is faster than that for four times as long. It is not easy.
BUT, I started jogging in my thirties. Prior to that, aside from the occasional canoe/hiking trip my level of exercise consisted of maybe lifting and carrying a two four. And I was jogging just for the sake of it. I have never run in an actual race. Do no actual driver to improve. Those “regular” outings were twice a week, with maybe one or two shots at the fast run in a month.
Someone in Ryan’s position, pathologically aggressive and competitive? In his twenties he worked as personal trainer. By his thirties he was a Congressman. He certainly had the drive to get to sub-3 and later on the resources to be able to devote the time into getting there. I am actually surprised that he never bothered to run at least one more marathon two minutes faster to break the four hour mark. It is actually quite weird.
maybe stop in on a Sadly in NZ, also go to Vegas and see naked hot girls dancing,
Are NZ’s naked hot dancing girls not good enough for you? ELITEST.
Being all but unable to run (all that hardware in my leg/ankle makes it difficult) but well qualified to drink I would like moar beer stuff. Jeste pivo!
Lasers?
I think I could do it, in one of those chairs the emperors used to ride around in, with about 8 really fast runners hauling my sorry ass.
How about a veritable carpet of remotely-controlled Madagascan hissing cockroaches?
This is bad news for the world of competitive cockroach racing. I foresee the disruption of future events by allegations and counter-allegations of illegal hardware and hacking into other teams’ controls.
The good news is equally upsetting.
NZ’s hot dancing girls are upside down! Which is a problem because…I’ll be in my bunk.
How about a veritable carpet of remotely-controlled Madagascan hissing cockroaches?
Onward my disgusting minions!
List ’em John Hawkins!
This is bad news for the world of competitive cockroach racing
The sport never recovered from all of the allegations of haemolymph doping.
Pup could do a way fast marathon on his motorbike. When a little hardware slows you down, a whole bunch more should fix the problem.
Onward my disgusting minions!
You’re a repub now?
The kiwis are upside down and their toilets and drains circle backwards. But I’m a brave soul and would endure these tribulations if the bewbs were nice.
You’re a repub now?
No, just a super-villain. I’m not that evil.
My god…Kong is Lex Luthor. It all makes sense now.
Re: Hawkins…
1. What the fuck I don’t even
2. So your point is that being racist is ok and rich
nigBlack Americans are cool with it cuz they gots phat dividends?3. What the fuck I don’t even
Shorter Hawkins: Democrats are the real racists!
I will admit that a brief and hearty utterance of amusement was issued forth by me upon the reading of this comment.
If only there were some convenient way to express that in some sort of shorthand. Alas.
Hey, you think believing in all that bullshit is easy?
Just stumbled across this: White Salmon wildfire as seen from Hood River last night.
Oh yeah, kiwi women, blah blah blah. It’s the sheep ye come here for! Blooming foreigners.
White Salmon wildfire as seen from Hood River last night.
Wow. That’s beautiful for such a destructive thing.
Oh yeah, kiwi women, blah blah blah.
Me, oy loiks the girly kiwis, I do.
Have I said too much?
Most Republicans do not consider racism to be a significant impediment to success anymore and that puts us up against a deeply ingrained, shared cultural belief with black Americans.
As deeply ingrained as white privilege and willful self-blindness? Doubts, I has them.
Also: sub-lists? Dude is an addict. JUST SAY NO.
NFL Football Player Not Caught With Drugs or Guns:
Another Kiwi said,
September 8, 2012 at 1:09
Oh yeah, kiwi women, blah blah blah. It’s the sheep ye come here for! Blooming foreigners.
There’s a shaggy-dog story that is too low even for Sadlys, the punch line of which is “That thar’s the sheriff’s gal.”
Also…
Come for sheep.
Stay for the mint jelly.
I love the nega-troll thing! North Dallas Crazy is pretty much where I want him.
http://www.gaypatriot.net/?comments_popup=52245#comment-703095
I encourage you to go and have a laugh.
I hope nobody shows Brent Bozell an episode of Father Ted. His head will explode…
On second thought, can somebody show Brent Bozell an episode of Father Ted?
I haz a question: How DO I turn people into lustful cockmonsters? It’s in my copy of the gay agenda but they never told us HOW to do it.
It’s the same way you cure cancer: You have to bash in the skulls of baby harp seals.
I haz a question
If you have to ask, it’s probably better you don’t know.
See?
What? It was a secret?
Secret to P.M., apparently.
Fecking gay seal-hunters! For this, I have no friends?
That thar’s the sheriff’s seal.
I haz a question: How DO I turn people into lustful cockmonsters?
I hope you mean people who lustfully crave the cock, because the idea of PENIS creatures roaming about with unfulfilled sexual appetites is a bit disturbing.
Or like a college frat house. Still disturbing.
I hope you mean people who lustfully crave the cock, because the idea of PENIS creatures roaming about with unfulfilled sexual appetites is a bit
disturbingintriguing.Fuqst.
I have this mental image of the uncircumcised penis monsters bumping into things because they can’t see where they’re going.
Pup, use the dicktionary, next time.
I say just put everybody in jail. Big head start!
Most of us are already imprisoned.
Pup, use the dicktionary, next time.
Gotcha. The PENIS mightier than the sword after all.
Mmmmmmmmmmm…….
Oh wait, isn’t there an erection. Oh! I mean an election that we should be discussing?
So, do you think the Convention will cause Obama’s pole to rise?
…
…poll numbers, I mean.
My poll rose when they kept talking about how that bin laden guy is like all dead and shit
I can’t believe Bozell hasn’t burst a ton of blood vessels in his giant dome. I can’t imagine the rage fits that end with him sobbing on the floor in the fetal position because somebody said fuck and he heard it.
Dude: chill. The. Fuck. Out. Have a beer, a few pretzels, a little more MSG…turn on those Dallas Cowboys on your TV. Lock your doors, close your mind. It’s time for the two minute warning.
Lyrics by The Very Philosopher Jello Biafra.
Our Lady of the Blessed Grizzly Bear is just a nobody, she says so!
It’s from Crooks and Liars so it’s not me saying “look at this amazing thing I found” but it made me LOL.
Also the bit that says:
Kerry’s single acknowledgement of Palin was one more mention than she received from Republicans during their convention last month.
OBS, thx for the linx. That festival has got me itching to move to Oregon even more than usual. Craft beer AND disc golf in one place?!?
That clears that up.
“Yeah, I did say in Alaska you can see lustful cockmonsters from our land base and I was making the point that we are strategically located on the globe and when it comes to lustful cockmonsters and resources that are shared and fought over, Alaska and I as the governor had known what I was doing in dealing with lustful cockmonsters that had to do with our lustful cockmonsters could help secure the lustful cockmonsters.”
Happy now, driveby media?
http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=17184979
Posted for interested zombies and others
Betty Brosmer.
I opted not to post a picture in which her midsection is visible because I was afraid it might blow some people’s minds.
Oops.
If you want to play that game, Vampira.
What’s wrong w/ this picture?
Hint: S, N! is the eighth tab from the left. Get a favicon, already!
They used to have one, what the hell happened to it?
It ran off with a lustful cockmonster.
Give it back, pup
Somewhere, a gorgeous, yet tragically confused beauty pageant contestant is saying “lol, what a dumb bitch and such as…”
Yeah, I did say in Alaska you can see Russia from our land base
You can’t see Russia from the land base, only from the mother ship.
Conversation above makes me wonder what I’d be like if I were dating these days. Would I be needy?Probably not. Never was in the past. Too aloof? Possible. I tend not to like to lose control in relationships.
I couldn’t date, period, now, because I never get a break from my son. But I wonder if any guy would ultimately take a back seat to my art. *shrug* WE’LL NEVER KNOW.
Anyone know a way to quickly get to the bottom of a page with a trackpad? This thread was a monstrous pain in the…wrist.
CTL-f
leave a commentRET does it.Oops. That method doesn’t use the trackpad. I revise and extend my remarks: no.
poop
According to codinghorrow,
Endworks in IE, Firefox, Chrome and Safari.VS! I missed you!
You won’t be single in your 40s. You don’t have a disturbing princess complex and You do have enough self confidence to keep your life and responsibilities in perspective. You are capable of making a relationship work, so you can’t try to wiggle into on of those categories.
But that doesn’t involve the trackpad either. Sorry. If you’d just give up on your silly insistence on using the trackpad your life would be much easier.
You’re also not a surly bastard. I have the embroidery to Prove that I am.
YOU’RE WELCOME
PENISBALLS.Did someone say BabySealClub ?
Hi VS. Good to have you back.
tsam, I’m not a surly bastard, I’m a cranky asshole. Get it right! 😉
Thanks, Major Kong. 🙂
NO, NO THANKS NEEDED.
REALLY, THAT’S OKAY, NO NEED TO THANK ME
Or just:
Hitler’s Junk
(Sorry it took me so long to come up w’dat. I apparently have a life this weekend –I know, news to me, too.)
Couldn’t thank you–baby had my phone. Am I thanking you for the penis or the lack of solution?
The baby ate my homework.
That reminds me of returning to LA during the Station Fire, after spending a week camping in Yosemite.
We came back over the Grapevine at night, and the entire SE sky was glowing red. Then making our way East on I-210, the entire view on the left side was mountainsides on fire, for nearly 20 miles. Wickedly beautiful, and scary too. Our home is removed from the urban/forest interface, but not enough to be immune from a windstorm-driven fire, like what happened in Eaton Canyon in 1993…
You always thank a man for penis. It’s not like we hand those out to just anybody, you know.
I heard some guys will hand their penises out to anybody.
It’s a good thing climate change is a liberal plot to get money offa hard working corporate heroes, otherwise there might be a tornado in new York city.
Hey, there’s plenty of tomatoes in New York. Mrs__B brought home some nice heirlooms just the other day.
I would give you another solution if you would only drop the trackpad requirement. Also too and such as, it is customary to thank people JUST FOR TRYING. But no, I said there’s no need to thank me. Really. *sniff*
I should think one hair loom would suffice.
Useful history, from the Copyranter: http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/the-best-political-slogan-ever
The amount of hair on Mrs__B’s head, we could use a steam-powered loom.
I would rather vote for someone who does people.
Candidate Cockmonster has yet to make an appearance.
Had lunch at a Peruvian restaurant in Cincinnati today. We were the only gringos in the place. There may be hope yet for Cincinnati.
Candidate cockmonster is the coming man, so I hear.
He’s on the rise!
He’s all about thrusting America forward.
People are a bit worried by his dictatorial tendencies.
They love the way he fights.
I bet he peaks too soon.
Focus groups have indicated some unease over his name and he was trying to get some of that “down home” feel by linking to Thanksgiving.
Candidate Cockgobbler?
I watched volunteers as they pitched some tents at his last campaign stop. Trust me, they were throbbing with excitement.
Don’t you mean “erected tents’?
Some engineering/geek type pr0n. It’s less than a 1/4 mile from me but on the other side of the building. Looking south, however, I have my scope trained on another bridge “erection.” it’s pretty neat. They are building temporary approaches and temporary piers. The plan is to slide the old deck onto the temporary supports, build a new bridge in place of the old one then finally removing the old bridge and temporary stuff.
So my conservative mom is in town. We’ve mostly got along fine, but she’s pissed that people who don’t believe in contraception and abortion should hafta pay for ’em. Denies that her party is moving in a radical direction. I point out a few things; interestingly, then, it turns out that she didn’t understand that the Republican platform is anti-abortion, full stop, no exceptions for rape and incest. She starts in about “partial-birth” abortions, and the poor doctors who are forced to perform them …
But no. Their platform is quite clear (see “Sanctity and Dignity of Human Life”). Paragraph one of that subheading is a statement of principles. Paragraphs two and three are victories and kudos and incremental steps on the road to a full ban. But my point is that some people, like my mother, have been hearing paragraph 2-3 type talk for years and thinking “oh yeah, let’s ban icky late-term abortions, let’s ban all these sex-selective abortions I’ve been hearing about lately.” She apparently takes it on faith that her fellow travelers are what she thinks of as reasonable people re: rape, incest, life of the mother. (I don’t try to argue for abortion on demand, it’d be pointless with mom.)
She starts in about “partial-birth” abortions, and the poor doctors who are forced to perform them …
THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.
Indeed. It bothers me too that companies who are in the business of paying for medical devices and procedures should be forced to pay for medical devices and procedures.
What have we become??
“Pitch a tent” means to have an erection while wearing trousers or with a sheet covering your frontside. It raises the material in a tent-like fashion.
Red-faced fuckhead (or fuck-faced redhead) Andy McCarthy is projecting (or projectile vomiting) again.
Blah blah blah.
Hmmmm. Might be fun to swing by. http://www.theeastburn.com/baconfest/
New post.
Sorry for the delay everyone, but I’ve been so busy lately that I’m actually running late for something on purpose just so I could finish the new post. On that note, bye.
“THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.”
That’s what I said.
@Cerberus (hope you goggle your own nym): testing post-reality campaign styles.
motherfucking WIN
yes i agree 🙂