HOLY SHIT: Strung together words and numerous buzzwords make my post look important and critical
Recent robot transplant seeking female DHS head to fantasize about constantly. Must be into humiliation play, spurious accusations, and blonde robot clones. Must be attracted to closet cases who are jealous of every single woman you come into contact with.
Debbie Schlusselheimer, The Debbie Schlusselheimer Revue starring Debbie Schlusselheimer:
EXCLUSIVE: Top NY Homeland Security Cop Sues Napolitano; Alleges Obama DHS Officials’ Anti-Straight Discrimination, Demands for Oral Sex – “J-No Appointed Lesbian Girlfriend, ICE Chief of Staff Harassed Male Agents”*
Debbie Schlussel’s website depresses me. And it’s not because her ideas give off the distinctive odor of meth addiction and untreated mental health issues. It’s more the promotion picture in her banner.
I mean, say this about the Schlussinator, but she’s always had her own personal aesthetic. A charmingly home-grown rust belt look that combines all the dim blandness of the midwest with the frostbite-induced insanity of a Canadian border dweller. Unlike all the usual tight-lipped fembots built to recite right-wing talking points for lonely dodecagenarians, she looked like something that might very well be brewed at home. In the exact way that one can make moonshine in their bathtub with much the same frightening results.
So imagine my disappointment when I look to her banner and see her photoshopped or plastic surgeried into the same tight-lipped soulless robotic smile and waxen face of every other Fox News fembot.
Seriously, what the fuck right wing?
You’re right, I’ve delayed long enough, let’s get to the “meat” of today’s post.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- In the Department of Homeland Security, Straight Men are the Jews of Implied Lesbian Fascism.
And I say “implied” lesbian fascism, because it rapidly becomes apparent that our recent robot convert really doesn’t know what a lesbian is.
New York’s top Department of Homeland Security cop is suing Department of Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano in an explosive but heretofore unnoticed federal lawsuit alleging Homeland Security employment discrimination against straight male agents by Napolitano (READ the federal complaint) in favor of her lesbian girlfriend and sexual harassment of male agents by Napolitano’s handpicked Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Chief of Staff, Suzanne Barr. The lawsuit alleges that Barr demanded a male ICE Special Agent engage in oral sex with her and that she relocated three top male ICE agents’ offices to the men’s bathroom at ICE headquarters.
Because lesbians are always going around demanding sexual favors from men.
Cause lesbians are just fat, ugly, non-gender-conforming women who hate men because they can’t get anyone to have sex with them, right?
I need this to be true. It’s the only way I can try and snuff out the way my thighs quiver when I see Ellen Degeneres on the TV. The curve of her lip…
NO! I’m properly a fembot now, the gay can’t touch me anymore!
All of the alleged misconduct was the behavior of Barack Obama’s hand-picked people running the Department of Homeland Security, who’ve created a hostile work environment for straight male agents, a story I recently broke on this site.
Oh yeah, I should point out here that this whole paragraph is just covered in links to her own works. This particular link is to a post called EXCLUSIVE: Obama Homeland Security Pimps Gay Pride, Tranny Speaker on Agents; Hostile Work Environment for Straights**.
The unholy slaughtering of the straight male in that incident was the existence of a brief optional Pride Ceremony and Party for LGBT DHS employees that happened to have a trans speaker talking about gender identity.
Cause acknowledging the existence of people who aren’t you and letting them have an after-hours shindig where they get to stay at work without pay is truly the greatest example of oppression that has ever existed ever***.
Many of the key allegations are stories I’ve broken on this site over the years, and the federal civil rights lawsuit gives more details. The 21-page federal federal complaint was filed in late May by New York Special Agent in Charge of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) James T. Hayes, New York’s top Homeland Security official. He was previously the ICE Director of Detention and Removal Operations, in charge of the deportation of illegal aliens around the country. It’s not every day that a federal official at that level files a lawsuit against the head of his agency.
Now, some cynical liberal members of the Ivory Tower Elitist set may suspect that James T. Hayes Jr is a trumped up mouth breather to serve as this conspiracy theory’s Lt. Col. Terry Lakin.
You know, some random mid-level “officer” that all the wingnuts can swoon over because “if a lieutenant colonel doesn’t think the president was born in this country, we must be right”.
But that’s just… mean. Not cool, bro.
The lawsuit further elucidates several stories reported on this site about discrimination against straight male Homeland Security officials in favor gay officials, including Napolitano’s girlfriend, Dora Schriro.
Dora Schriro, Stephanie Barr, and Beth Gibson from her other post. Is it just me or is Debbie’s version of Janet Nopolitano essentially Shane from The L Word?
Fuck, Debbie accuses any and all women Janet Napolitano has even the most cursory relationship with of being her closeted lesbian lovers.
Every single post, it’s a new girl in the “lesbian soul mate” position with Nopalitano. It goes way beyond “homophobic projection” into a sort of creepy Basic Instinct jealous stalker obsession. I can’t help but view Debbie as some sort of wild haired harridan camping outside Janet Nopalitano’s house wildly ranting to any girl who leaves that they better leave well enough alone if they know what’s good for them.
Debbie, baby, she’s not going to return your drunken sex tweets. Let it go and find some woman who’s actually into train-wreck closet cases who so loathe themselves they are more willing to sculpt their face into an unholy death mask than admit to their true desires…
Actually, on second thought, keep up the late-night stalking.
As I noted, Schriro had zero experience in law enforcement, and yet, she was appointed ICE Policy Director and set the current Obama immigration enforcement policy of not enforcing immigration laws. (Schriro, who made a mess of Arizona’s prisons and empowered violent prisoners against prison guards, is now making a mess of New York’s prisons, a cushy job Napolitano got her so she could be close to a sick relative in New York.)
OMG, they are letting untalented hacks be in charge of whole agencies.
Sure, the supposed ICE Director of Detention and Removal Operations, who’s suing any and all women he views as undeserving because they are women, has absolutely no web presence or information regarding qualifications, academic history, or notable accomplishments, but Girly McGirlParts here has ZERO experience in LAW ENFORCEMENT!
How could they let such an unqualified vagina-bearer run such an important office as the New York City Department of Corrections? The only explanation is a cabal of lesbian sex wizards trading sexual favors… you know, like what most of the Bush appointees ended up doing with organizations like the Secret Service and the Department of the Interior.
It’s not like Dora Schriro has a long and distinguished biography of accomplishments successfully reforming the Arizona and Missouri Departments of Corrections with a criminal law background that includes teaching graduate level courses in criminal law and winning an award in 1999 recognizing her as the top correctional adminstrator in the country.
Nor like wingnuts have been running a decade long smear campaign against her because she told the Arizona Jail Gaurd Union that they couldn’t torture and kill illegals just for being brown and uppity and actually tries to reform prisons so they are less about violent beatings and rape and more about “correcting violent behavior to reduce recidivism”.
I mean, if you crazy liberals had a point like that, it’d be demonstrated by our actions. Say, by us randomly including her in a bullshit lawsuit primarily about another woman where the connection was tenuous at best.
Luckily… why are you all staring at me like that?
The suit also contains confirmation of another story I broke on this site, the sexual harassment of male Homeland Security Agents by ICE Chief of Staff Barr, who is known as “Suzy ‘Stripper Pole’ Barr” because Ms. Barr jokes that a building structural support in her office is a stripper pole, and she constantly harasses male agents in the vicinity of the “stripper pole,” including, sources say, dropping items and demanding the agents bend down to pick them up. Barr was brought to the Department of Homeland Security from Arizona by Napolitano and installed as ICE Chief of Staff. She was previously Napolitano’s Chief of Staff in the Arizona Gubernatorial office and has absolutely no law enforcement experience. Agents say that this bimbo, Barr, is the person really running ICE (the Department of Homeland Security’s largest agency), not Obama appointee John Morton, whom Napolitano didn’t want in charge of ICE. The “Fifty Shades of Grey” books ain’t got nothin’ on this pervert-ette.
Ah right, the “meat” of the post as it were.
So, Suzanne Barr, who is totally not being targeted by a made-up bullshit scandal to punish her for being a girl in charge of the ICE, an organization absolutely rife with insane evil wingnuts, is accused of using her raw lesbian sexuality to sexually harass the men beneath her. Specifically three douchebros at one party where she allegedly called one guy a “damn sexy motherfucker” and asked how long another guy’s dick was.
Now, leaving aside the fact that this A) never happened, B) never happened, C) nunca occurió, Debbie’s wild imagination leaves out some rather interesting details of the supposed incident. Specifically, this note in a Fox News treatment of the case:
The account said Parmer and Barr were “drinking heavily” at the house of the deputy chief of mission for the U.S. Embassy there. It said Parmer took the BlackBerry of another employee, Peter Vincent, and sent “lewd messages” to Barr.
So yeah, instead of evil cougar stalking, it looks more like Hayes and his frat buddies were in the business of sexually harassing their boss because of bitterness they felt at seeing women being promoted to high level positions in the dudebro paradise that used to be the DHS and ICE.
Also, noteworthy is that this “lawsuit” is a “retaliation” lawsuit, i.e. the bullshit “no it is my victims who are taking advantage of me” legal action taken by assholes who find themselves in hot water and want to try and take someone down with them.
The right-wing is currently fellating themselves crazy over how Barr has been put temporarily on leave over this bullshit allegation that would have obviously been about a woman explaining to her drunken subordinates why sexual harassment sucks at WORST. Not mentioned is how this is standard procedure whenever ANYONE is accused of a crime like this so that investigators can look into it and doesn’t prove anything other than James Hayes has hands capable of filing fictitious and frivolous lawsuits.
On that note, how is that campaign against frivolous lawsuits coming, right wing? Or did you forget you were against those in the zeal to take down your various liberal political enemies?
But this is getting a little inside baseball. How about some funny “lawsuit” quotes from Debbie?
It goes on to say,
Barr covertly took an ICE blackberry [sic] device assigned to a male Special Agent in Charge and set a Blackberry Messenger message to his female supervisor indicating that the male employee had a crush on the female supervisor and fantasized about her. These actions and others . . . were all taken to humiliate and intimidate male employees. . . . Barr promoted and otherwise rewarded those male employees who woulod play along with her sexually charged games including the three male employees whose office she relocated to the men’s bathroom at ICE headquarters.
So apparently, Barr stole one of her agents blackberries to send lewd messages to… herself, so that she could then punish and humiliate them for supposedly sending drunken harassing emails to her.
This is what the lawsuit is saying happened. This is the giant lesbian orgy crime that proves the DHS is a hotbed of horny sluts violating the innocence and career prospects of innocent men.
Barr supposedly harassing herself so that she could harass the men who harassed her.
This is the case by the people with the lawsuit in question. And we’re supposed to believe that the “flavor dressing” of demanding to suck dicks (because it’d be gay if the chick demanded oral sex from the dudes) that sound straight out of a Penthouse Letter are equally true.
You know what? I do. I really truly do believe that all these allegations have exactly 100% the truth content of every other allegation made here, right down to the lesbian cockgobblers.
But let’s get to the real tang of these sour grapes.
With regard to Napolitano and her girlfriend Schriro, the suit alleges that Napolitano replaced Hayes with Schriro at meetings and in policy decisions regarding removal of illegal aliens:
Schriro was named as a Special Advisor to Secretary Napolitano on Detention and Removal Operations. . . . Schriro was not as qualified for the position Plaintiff had because of her lack of Federal law enforcement experience. . . . Schriro enjoyed a long standing relationship with the Secretary. Plaintiff believe that he was being replaced in his duties because of this relationship. . . .
Plaintiff was aware that Schriro enjoyed a long standing relationship with Plaintiff’s ultimate supervisor, Secrtary Napolitano, and that Napolitano was promoting Schriro because of this relationship, and not because of any relevant skills, over Plaintiff, who had far more relevant experience in the field.
Hayes’ lawsuit claims that he was repeatedly turned down for and/or jerked around regarding assignments and promotions that he sought within ICE and that this harmed him economically.
Wah wah! Can’t anyone see he’s so much more worthy for any position than some smelly woman. I mean, how can she possibly run the NYC jail system when she can barely manage to drive and can’t even open a jar of pickles what with her girly girlgirl nature?
I mean, he went through all the trouble of being born with a penis and an overdeveloped sense of his own self-worth, while Schriro just walked in with her decade of experience and award for being the best DOC administrator in the country and just stole it from him.
It’s not like he did anything to deserve being passed over for this promotion or anything!
He also claimed that when he complained about this he was retaliated against. He cites several investigations against him by the ICE Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR) that he claims are trumped up.
Okay, so he’s being investigated multiple times by the ICE version of Internal Affairs, but I mean, that’s just because those mean old lesbians are trying to bury him and his totally worthwhile case of having a penis and therefore automatically being more worthy of positions than people with proven experience in the exact position being filled.
And sure, those cases and the timing might make it seem like Hayes has more of a motivation for “retaliation” legal tactics designed to punish the very people he has shown repeated antagonism towards. Much like how Joe Arpaio only got really concerned about Obama’s citizenship status when the DOJ started their federal investigation into his gulags.
But… cock-craving lesbians. No law-enforcement experience. Short hairdos! Not conventionally attractive! WOMEN CREATURES WHO ARE WOMEN DOING MAN JOBS AND ARE THEREFORE DYKE SLUT PERJORATIVE DEMON HARPIES!
I should note that one such investigation involves Hayes’ attendance at a San Diego Padres Major League Baseball game at which Hayes and another ICE official who is apparently his friend, the incredibly sleazy and dishonest John P. Torres (who used ICE funds to get his extra-marital girlfriends jobs for which they were not qualified, etc.), were sitting in box seats. (Torres is now ICE Special Agent in Charge in Washington, DC, because the sleaze and crap at ICE always rises to the top.) Hayes has his share of detractors, and several ICE agents complained to me about this incident, saying that government funds were used so they could fly to San Diego (where they say a convenient, phony “government meeting” was set up as an excuse) and that the box seats were provided to them either free of charge or at a significantly discounted rate, in violation of ICE rules. Hayes alleges in his complaint that he did nothing wrong, that there was legitimate “government business,” and that he was cleared in the OPR investigation.
Ah…
Yeah, that.
But I mean, really, does it really make sense that someone would be passed over for promotion because they are an untalented bribe-taker who has already abused his position of power to get free “perks”?
Doesn’t it make more sense that a cabal of untalented lesbians who have spent decades faking a long history of personal professional accomplishment decided to randomly harass some unknown and meaningless puke bucket because of their intense hatred/unrequited lust for all cock-bearers?
It certainly does for me, but then again, that might be because the femobotization process has roasted what little was left of my sanity.
Truly the penis is the cock of liberal vagina. Hurble blurble.
Regardless of the veracity of either side of that issue, I have heard one thing universally from the many ICE agents and Homeland Security officials who contact me on a regular basis:
That Janet Napolitano and Department of Homeland Security officials running Immigration and Customs Enforcement discriminate against straight male agents (in favor of gay agents) and harass them. And that Suzy Barr constantly sexually harasses male agents in an open, consistent pattern and practice without any negative or disciplinary response from Napolitano or anyone in the Obama administration. (Several agents believe that Obama ICE Chief John Morton is bisexual and that this is part of the reason he allows this behavior and discrimination to continue under his watch. As I’ve noted, the man he appointed to be his deputy, Dan Ragsdale, is openly gay and harasses straight male agents regularly. When John Morton leaves ICE, Ragsdale will be running the show and many agents have questions about their relationship. As I also told you, Morton’s Assistant Deputy is lesbian Beth Gibson, for whom a new, waste-of-money government job was created so she could be near her girlfriend in Colorado, and ICE money was wasted so top officials could attend the girlfriend’s ICE Academy graduation.) All of these Obama officials and their cronies use ICE as their own personal harem, and straight males are the victims.
And this is why so many ICE agents plan to vote for Mitt Romney and cannot wait until the cretinous Obama incompetents running the agency are out. And it’s why, as I’ve repeatedly noted on this site, morale couldn’t get lower at ICE under Obama, and its employees rank it near the bottom of government agencies. The lawsuit’s allegations only confirm that.
Stay tuned to this site for further developments.
Sure this is obviously a harassment campaign by a bunch of corrupt ICE and DHS agents trying to get “revenge” on the people trying to clean it up and turn it into an organization that isn’t regularly shamed and outdone by Denmark’s International Police. And sure, this particular complaint is laughably unlikely even for the braintrusts that brought us “Bill Ayers’s dad’s mailman saw a black person in Chicago, therefore Obama was born in Kenya”.
But… er… that is to say…
It’s totally true and I want credit for what Shirley Sherrod scalps we can get from this one.
Oh Debbie Schlussel, I’d say I’d love to see the look on your face when this all comes crashing down, but we all know that time stops happening for wingnuts after the moment of accusation. Facts will come and go and the accuser will turn out to be hiding a field where he buried the bodies of the hookers he was bribed with and you’ll still trumpet how you were the first to break the lesbian sex scandal in the DHS.
So I guess, we’ll just wave to you as we continue forward into that over-rated reality thing as you continue to sculpt your face and airbrush all your pictures in the hopes that if you just can get the right arc of timeless robotification then you’ll stop hugging your Mai Shiranui body pillow and rewatching episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena.
But you won’t. And no amount of obsession will ever make Janet Napolitano return your drunken love-lorn texts.
I know she’s got a dyke hairdo, but she’s just a workaholic straight woman. And besides, you’re not her type.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Endlessly cataloging the queer love letters of a bunch of closet cases for all eternity is apparently invented by Bob as an eternal punishment for me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*This is the plaintive wail of someone who has heard of buzzwords and SEO, but considers it Satanic reprogramming to know what they mean or how to use them.
**Yeah, it’s every single post of hers. I think she worries that if she uses less than 5 buzzwords in a post title, her blog will explode.
*** No, seriously, the same motley crew of Liberty University alumni also threatened to sue over that “example of discrimination”.
Hey there, Bozo, I’m in Africa. Nyah, nyah, nyah.
Is this the fangirl for Anders Breitbarkveik or whatever the fuck his name was? Or was that Pam Gellar? I get the two of them mixed up sometimes. Be fucked to both of them.
New York City hasn’t had much luck with big mucky-muck security directors, has it?
As I noted, Schriro had zero experience in law enforcement, and yet, she was appointed ICE Policy Director and set the current Obama immigration enforcement policy of not enforcing immigration laws.
Frankly, a person with no law enforcement experience sounds perfectly fine for a job of not enforcing laws.
In the exact way that one can make moonshine in their bathtub
Is this possible? Do I have to remove all the axolotls first?
Do I have to remove all the axolotls first?
No, they give it zest.
the many ICE agents and Homeland Security officials who contact me on a regular basis
From Canada.
the many ICE agents and Homeland Security officials who contact me on a regular basis
IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY
All of these Obama officials and their cronies use ICE as their own personal harem, and straight males are the victims.
Hmm. There seems to be no word for the male equivalent of an odalisque. Concubino?
Damn, Cerb, you actually made her look hot.
“Is this the fangirl for Anders Breitbarkveik”
Nah, that’s Polythene Pamalamadingdong
the “lebsbian soul mate” position
I think I first saw that position in the ‘Llama Sutra.’ If it’s the one I’m thinking of, it requires one very tall woman and one very short woman.
And a llama.
As I said the last time the post came around on the guitar, that’s some conveniently-placed hair. It makes me wonder if she’d be standing on a giant clam shell if she had legs.
wingnuts have been running a decade long smear campaign against [Schriro] because she told the Arizona Jail Gaurd Union that they couldn’t torture and kill illegals just for being brown and uppity and actually tries to reform prisons so they are less about violent beatings and rape and more about “correcting violent behavior to reduce recidivism”.
That is what this whole story is about. There’s no way anyone who promotes policies like this can be allowed to succeed in Federal Law Enforcement… Dem in the White House or not, conservatives have so thoroughly entrenched themselves in the ICE, ATF and DEA that the only way for a liberal like Schriro to hold a position that high is to be appointed from above…
the ICE, an organization absolutely rife with insane evil wingnuts
There you go.
Why didn’t Obama hire someone qualified like that Thoroughbred Horse Racing Association guy who ran FEMA under Bush and was responsible for hundreds of deaths? Heckofa job Brownie!
lesbain cockgobblers
Translation: Those who eat chicken in the baths of Languedoc-Roussillon.
Shame on you for defiling a photo of Summer Glau by photoshopping that harpy’s mug on it.
Looking at the photos of the principals in this story that Derpy posted on her blog:
– Hayes looks like a typical asshole pig, one with a completely binary view of people and who views himself above the law. I wouldn’t trust his story for a second.
– Meanwhile Schriro just looks like a no-nonsense bureaucrat… the kind who would wear sensible shoes regardless of her sexual orientation.
– Barr just looks like a Wisconsin law student, and certainly more like a victim of harassment than one who harasses.
Oh, this post again? I was there when it appeared the first time, man.
Oops. Left out John Morton… who simply looks like Bill Hader from SNL.
Or maybe McNulty from ‘The Wire.’
I have to take issue with the photoshop. It makes Schuslslselssel look far too attractive.
Breaking News:
Mittens and Dr. John Willke (Ayers’ authority on medical facts) agree on almost everything. Willke calls Ryan an “obedient Catholic,” as well.
I finished all my popcorn by Monday and we’re not even at the GOP Convention yet… that one promises to be a real 1970’s disaster movie! Excuse me while I step out for a box of Dots and some Red Vines.
So am I to believe that scores of ICE and DHS agents are in contact with Little Debbie, the Kmart Koulter, giving her inside scoops on what’s shakin’ at DHS?
Why does this sound unlikely to me?
It does’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me!
Why does this sound unlikely to me?
You’re not so far around the bend that you can’t see the bend from where you are?
It does’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me!
Uh….
The fact is Debbie Schlussel is an expert on the devious minds of so called lesbian homeland security analists that enable Muslin terrorists to undermine our health and welfair.
Cause lesbians are just fat, ugly, non-gender-conforming women who hate men because they can’t get anyone to have sex with them, right?
That’s no problem that some serious profile pic photoshopping can’t solve.
You’re not so far around the bend that you can’t see the bend from where you are?
There’s bends in the river and there’s OMFG, NIAGARA!!!
Funny, Suzanne Barr looks quite a bit like Little Debbie- I think Deb’s polemic against Barr is due to some unresolved self-esteem issues.
lesbian homeland security analists
How would that…I mean…Oh never mind.
Schriro had zero experience in law enforcement, and yet, she was appointed ICE Policy Director and set the current Obama immigration enforcement policy of not enforcing immigration laws.
They simply won’t believe that record numbers of deportations have been happening under President Obama’s reign.
He should start saying things like “I don’t think people should set themselves on fire” or “I think driving into walls at high speeds is a terrible idea” or “All I ask is for people not to drop appliances in the bathtub while they’re plugged in.”
Anti-gay reichwing pastor wan king in a public park? Inconceivable!
Oh fuck you autocorrect. Wan king indeed.
Pale and wan, he seems. He was “dazed and confused” from grass cutting and it was the third time. Uh huh.
Holy rollers gotta roll, baybee
Oi, I’ve managed to create a bloody buffer of stupid with how quickly these wingnuts are managing to outstupid each other day to day.
Is it no wonder I’m producing time-traveling posts and bizarre new strains of cockgobblers?
You think she looks hot in the photoshop? Check out this super-steamin’ ultra-babe-ilicious extreme Shlussel erotica pic.
It’s not “is it no wonder” but “is it any wonder.” Sheesh, when you can’t even use the right idiom all the stringing together of portman toes makes you look like a wan Cerberus (centum satem, get it?).
Fuck you Snorg! A mouthful of (extremely dry) martini just exited through my nose.
And by the way, “cockgobbler” is not a bad thing to be.
Except when martinis are exiting one’s nose.
Speaking of Schlussel and matters relating to sexuality, why does she have a photo of a guy grabbing his nuts on her site? Maybe there’s an explanation buried in her mass of psychobable, but actually reading her shit doesn’t strike me as mentally hygienic.
interest. website. newsletter.
The Wan King is another name for the King in Yellow, a reference to his Pallid Mask.
“Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.”
I went over there to look at her photoshop, and this was the top headline:
“Turkish Man Molests Sleeping US Passenger – Guess the Religion”
Because the religion most known for molestation is Islam. Yup.
It would be fun if one of these ICE people were to sue Debbers for libel over these kind of articles. The problem is that you could never prove damages, because you’d have to prove that your employer or a prospective employer would ever take her shit seriously (if they accidentally stumbled upon it).
Snorg, that reminds me of this improvement that I made back in Feb ’11 after something she wrote reminded me of Breakfast of Champions.
How would that…I mean…Oh never mind.
Toys. Sometimes large ones.
And by the way, “cockgobbler” is not a bad thing to be.
Except on Thanksgiving.
Pup-
While there are many fine cockgobblers of all sexes, I think we can all agree that lesbians (not to mention lesbains, lebsbians, and lensbians) are probably the least likely group to be such, behind supposedly straight men and people with allergies to penis.
I play along with sexy games but nobody has ever yet rewarded me with an office in the men’s bathroom.
Tonite’s beverage: grapefruit gimlets, except I use about a third of the simple syrup called for.
(I’m all out of tequila, and limes, otherwise it’d be grapefruit margaritas.)
Anyway, so ennobled, I’m off to hunt mangoes in the comments over at Derpy’s place…
Wooooaaaahhhh!
sexually charged games
Those are the ones with the 12-volt battery and the jumper leads.
bizarre new strains of cockgobblers
See, because ‘les’ is a plural indefinite article, ‘bain’ is French for bath, and ‘coq’ is chicken, and ‘gobblers’ is just plain obvious.
Barr covertly took an ICE blackberry [sic] device assigned to a male Special Agent in Charge and set a Blackberry Messenger message to his female supervisor
She also covertly borrowed the computers of the complainants and used them to download porn during work hours, and hacked into their e-mail accounts to send racist photoshops to one another.
So a pretty normal Boss then?
Now that you mention it, I do enjoy taking warm, sudsy, relaxing baths with domestic fowl.
If you want to see some of the most depressing comments evah, check out what a lot of idiots wrote about CNN’s coverage of Haiti about to be clobbered by a hurricane. And we wonder why the world hates us.
The lawsuit alleges that Barr demanded a male ICE Special Agent engage in oral sex with her…
Wow. Times HAVE changed. When I was in college this was called “getting lucky.”
Wow. I must confess I am (just slightly) reevaluating my opinion of the wax faced one if only because her comment section is no jungle. In fact, it’s filled with comments quite critical of her story and it even sounds like many of the posters are insiders at ICE. She does not appear to be moderating out the critics, either.
For instance:
(Actually, I thought the phrase “Lesbionic Woman” was the only clever thing on the page… even if it was written by a hater, there’s nothing that says a gyndroid is intrinsically good or bad.)
Also:
I encourage you all to go take a look.
OK, well that killed the thread.
How ’bout this:
Rosie the Robot Maid was a closet lesbian.
Can’t say I blame her. Judy had universal appeal.
I encourage you all to go take a look.
Seconded – Li’l Debbie done stuck her Strap-On-O’-Freedumb into a hornet’s nest big-time on this one. Too many current & ex-ICE/DHS folks know first-hand exactly what a den of scum & douchery these places are, & they’re not exactly being bashful about cataloging the parade of FAIL in excruciating detail.
Like a Boss
Anti-gay pastor Grant Storms has been convicted of obscenity after admitting to masturbating in a New Orleans park.
Hah, “Grant Storms” would be a great pr0n stage name.
Judge Ross LaDart also called for a psychological evaluation and the court heard how the incident which led to his arrest on 25 February, 2011, was the third time the cleric had masturbated in Lafreniere Park.
Storms reportedly told Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office Sergeant Kevin Balser that after taking a break from grass cutting to sip a beer in the park, he became ‘horny’ and put his hands into his underwear
Ross LaDart and Kevin Balser would also be great pr0n names… WTF, NOLA?
I do not wish to hear your jokes about ‘Balser wood’, sir.
Oh, here’s my other Debbie photoshop, with sincere apologies to Kurt Vonnegut.
Holy shit!!
You’re gonna trust a guy called Lance?
Virulently Sheltered
Captain Dunlap’s Clouding Perturbers
Quaint Soil
The Parasitic Unkindness
Trembling Isaac Asimov and the The Muddy Rap
The Tale Precluders
The Confuser Jumped
Surrounder Slim-Hype
The Three
The Foreign Blind sharks
The Heftily Worsened
Visionary Egg
The Commencing Famines
Hong Kong Beaver
The Denouncer Speakers
The Singed Tiger Snakes
Shattering Felt
Snappers Do Palau
The Prescribing Three
Predicting Plates
The Contorter Three
The Paris Five
Norman Mailer’s Feet
“All I ask is for people not to drop appliances in the bathtub while they’re plugged in.”
A PSA is being planned.
“All I ask is for people not to drop appliances in the bathtub while they’re plugged in.”
A PSA is being planned.
Michelle Obama to launch “no toasting in the tub”. Tea Parties to celebrate “National Bathtub Freedom Day” with toast-ins.
not to drop appliances in the bathtub while they’re plugged in
That would annoy the axolotls, not to mention the effect on the flavour of the moonshine.
But I’m only 40!
A protesting prostate. Now I’ve ….eeeeeeeeew…. seen everything.
A protesting prostate. Now I’ve ….eeeeeeeeew…. seen everything.
It gets worse, the new testing protocol involves axolotls.
Now, this thread is silly. Stop this silliness straight away!
We’re driving Graham crackers.
We’re driving Graham crackers.
You can really taste the axolotl.
” protesting prostate.”
Doh
Also, Getting to the real tang of these sour grapes
I finished all my popcorn by Monday and we’re not even at the GOP Convention yet… that one promises to be a real 1970?s disaster movie!
Where’s Irwin Allen when you need him?
“Where’s Irwin Allen when you need him?”
“The Towering Infomercial.”
“Land of the Giant Egos”
“Lost in Space Mountain”
“The Swarm”
Where’s Irwin Allen when you need him?
Can I switch genres and put in a vote for Ray Harryhausen?
How would we be able to tell claymation Rmoney from the actual thing?
“Can I switch genres and put in a vote for Ray Harryhausen?”
“Sinbad and go to Hell!”
I’m hoping Isaac will release the Kraken.
Releasing the Kraken.
Maybe Roger Corman will get involved and the Sharktopus will devour the RNC. We can only hope…
John Carpenter: Policy Fog
Romney will pwn Isaac like a boss.
Another apparent mass shooting right in front of the Empire State Bldg.
Guess a woman’s anit-rape biology doesn’t kick in if they are overseas. I’m sure Romney and Ryan will address such scenarios during their respective debates.
This is the finest Sadly screed since the one that devolved into hip-hop lyrics while describing Paul Krugman’s opponents flaming out, wrote by Gavin as I recall, many years back.
That’s not helping. But it was funny. This is funny. Damn you, I quit drinking, give me room.
Making room for the damp niche………..
meow!
[purrrrrrr]
I really hope that Hurricane Isaac gives Haiti a miss. And Tampa too. I guess. I mean, what if the worst were to happen and in an accident that I’m going to call tragic, the Republican nominees didn’t survive? They’d totally get the sympathy vote, and empower the real back benchers and mouth breathers. The remaining delegates would put together a Santorum / Bachman ticket or maybe a Gingrich / some other crazy jackass ticket. (even in its darkest hour the Republican party wouldn’t let Ron Paul anywhere near the nomination) Who, playing off the sympathy and gullibility of the American public would sweep the polls in November.
Also any storm strong enough to wipe out the convention would also wipe out Tampa, which probably doesn’t deserve that fate.
There is virtually no chance that the Romney Ryan ticket would cluster on a small raft for safety and be swept out to sea. And anyone who would photoshop them into this picture would be wrong. Hilarious, but wrong.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f1/G%C3%A9ricault_-_La_zattera_della_Medusa.jpg
The new right wing talking points on the NY mass shooting have come out:
1) NYC has gun control laws, so gun control causes mass shootings. Q.E.D.
2) It’s the trans fat bans and soda size limits. Anyone would go crazy and start shooting.
3) MUUUUUUUUUSLINS!!!!
Apparently the Kraken got full release. Finally a story with a happy ending!
Back in the heyday of alt.peeve, alt.tasteless, etc., this shooting would be labeled an “apeshit.”
Dude just went postal. Pissed off, emotionally unstable employee shows up with a gun, shoots the boss, and then steps outside and commits suicide by cop, taking others with him. Classic late twentieth century apeshit.
It’s the American version of the suicide bomber, except without all the messy jihad. Usually.
Guess a woman’s anit-rape biology doesn’t kick in if they are overseas.
“Hard to say, I get a lot of chicks” is not exactly the best response when police are asking whether you gang raped a fifteen year old.
[yawn]
Wake me when lunch is served.
Pissed off, emotionally unstable employee shows up with a gun, shoots the boss
somebody should tell someone that being the boss ain’t necessarily a good thing…
The remaining delegates would put together a Santorum / Bachman ticket
personally, i would fucking welcome a batshit crazy duo like this to win the presidency…the resulting whiplash from such immediate epic fail would be a pleasure to witness…prolly not enough popcorn or red vines (now chock full o’ lead!) for that kind of shitshow…also, the the dawning realization of total religious mandation through government when the god botherers and mouth breathers finally figure out that, ‘hey, this means you too’ would be fucking awesome…
also, seeing them pelted with various rotted items and roundly heckled during live appearances also holds a certain appeal…
And anyone who would photoshop them into this picture would be wrong. Hilarious, but wrong.
also needs goatse sky god…
she relocated three top male ICE agents’ offices to the men’s bathroom at ICE headquarters.
and then took away their red staplers…
dooby dooby doo…strangers in the night…
Play “Freebird!”
Play “Freebird!”
are you curently a resident of a mental health facility who will continually bombard me with fan mail and mix tapes if i do play ‘freebird’?
Mmmmm….mixed tapas….
the fact is, patriotic American wills never stand for rule by fags and queers, we are about natural order and selectin the best God has to offer, not defectives. They need to stop flonting their sexualuity and leave us normal people alone, and you liberals need to stop defending them,. and the muslims.
And, it was (1) retaliation for being fired and (2) suicide by cop. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/25/nyregion/several-people-shot-one-fatally-outside-empire-state-building.html?hp
alt.alien.vampire.sexualuity.flont.flont.flont
“are you curently a resident of a mental health facility who will continually bombard me with fan mail and mix tapes if i do play ‘freebird’?”
No. But I HAVE been known to remove my boxers on occasion.
Mr. Kelly said the two officers involved had fired a total of 14 rounds. He said he believed that some of the shooting victims had been hit by bullets from the officers’ guns, “based on the number of people shot and the capacity of”’ Mr. Johnson’s own weapon.
more proof that the situation would not have been as bad had joe q. public been packing heat and responded to the shooter…
No. But I HAVE been known to remove my boxers on occasion.
alrighty, then…i did not want to have to go through that again…and it was the first and only fucking fan mail i ever received in my storied radio career…sigh…
more proof that the situation would not have been as bad had joe q. public been packing heat and responded to the shooter…
At any given moment on a weekday there are hundreds of people near the corner of 34th and Fifth. What could possibly have gone wrong if there were all armed?
They all were carrying and concealing guns, in whose use they are highly trained experts. Each and every one assessed the tactical situation in a fraction of a second and decided the highly trained NYPD had it under control and went about their business. So, to the average anti-gun, godless communist liberal, it just looks like everyone was unarmed.
I keep mine holstered, most of the time.
has anyone invented a codpiece gun holster yet? I want to know, but am afraid to google.
Putting your gun inside a cod will make it smell funny and, probably, misfire.
Remember, kids are at risk where there aren’t enough guns around!
Major Kong’s Guide to Day Sleeping
1. Turn thermostat down to “Vladivostok in January”
2. Use clothespins to hold the drapes closed to block the
suneye-searing laser beam from coming through the gap.3. If your hotel room has extra pillows or towels, use them to block the gap at the bottom of the door so you don’t hear the
other guestsinconsiderate bastards and their screaming brats out in the hallway.4. Make sure the “do not disturb” sign is posted. Don’t worry, the housekeepers will probably ignore it.
5. Use the various cardboard advertisements every hotel room seems to have to block the little glowing LEDs on the TV, Microwave etc.
Congratulations! Now lie back and enjoy 4-5 hours of fitful, low-quality sleep.
Major Kong’s Guide to Day Sleeping
I find that heavy drinking helps, especially when it is supplemented periodically by more heavy drinking.
That last paragraph reminds me of the nice little iceburn that Janet Reno gave Jack Thompson when he wanted to know if she liked men or women: “I’m only interested in virile men. That’s why I’m not attracted to you.”
Major Kong has been reading my travel diary.
I’d have to start drinking in the early AM (sometime between 5-9 AM) when I arrived at the hotel.
Have you ever tried eyemasks and earplugs? I’ve had good luck with the plugs but have a hard time keeping the masks on as I’m fidgety.
I always sleep with earplugs. I’ve tried eyemasks but never had much luck with them.
Some people take Melatonin, but I’ve had mixed results. Too much and I get really weird dreams. And my regular dreams are pretty damn weird to begin with.
Mostly I just end up taking naps and getting my sleep on the installment plan.
The intersection of anti-zombie and anti-grammar pedant bigotry.
I hear cranial trauma can induce a sleep-like state.
Or, the zombie grammar nazi is the jew of descriptivist grammarians.
Closest I can find so far:
http://paizo.com/products/btpy8tbn
Well you didn’t think I’d let a chance to search teh interwebs for codpiece holster just go by, did you?
Some people take Melatonin, but I’ve had mixed results. Too much and I get really weird dreams. And my regular dreams are pretty damn weird to begin with.
Oh man, me too with the weirder than normal dreams, but it really does seem to work well. I wouldn’t take it for a one-time day sleep, anyway, though, as I think it’s more for shifting the whole sleep cycle. Unless this is your regular schedule?
Now, a codpiece trebuchet, that would give me pause.
I’d have to start drinking in the early AM (sometime between 5-9 AM) when I arrived at the hotel.
i don’t see the problem…
firing the codpiece trebuchet
“I’m only interested in virile men. That’s why I’m not attracted to you.”
must remember this line…could be handt for obnoxious jackhole bar patrons…
codpiece trebuchet
AKA ballista sac?
The underwear oubliette is a backup strategy.
I think it’s more for shifting the whole sleep cycle. Unless this is your regular schedule?
My schedule tends to run week-on/week-off. My work hours are normally something like 7 pm – 7 am.
Then I’m home for a week and have to get back on a normal schedule. So I’m never really adjusted. Throw in 2 or 3 time-zone differences from flying around the country and it’s a real recipe for sleep deficit.
Mostly I just end up taking naps
That’s why there’s an autopilot, right?
That’s why there’s an autopilot, right?
Not supposed to. Can’t say that it’s never happened.
OTTO!
Inflation is not always a bad thing.
codpiece trebuchet
AKA ballista sac?
The Man-gonel.
accompanied, no doubt, by the Ball-ista?
Doh!
What an ass:
I am so looking forward to seeing the voting demographics after this election. I’ll be surprised if he gets a majority of any minority group.
It helps to turn the bright lights on in the cockpit when you get up to cruise altitude. That tricks your body into thinking it’s daylight.
That and massive quantities of coffee.
You’ve tricked your body into thinking it’s massive amounts of coffee? Weren’t you afraid of being drunk?
Nah, you’d have to be drunk or crazy to do this job in the first place.
C’mon, what about the big guns in the conservative world? Why can’t we make fun of http://nymag.com/news/features/chait-liberal-movies-tv-2012-8
Nah, you’d have to be drunk or crazy to do this job in the first place.
and you’re which one, again?
and you’re which one, again?
Depends what time of day it is.
From Crissa’s link:
Yes, a movie that happens to star the most (if not in the Top 3) popular American comic book character of all time. He says “what passes” as if the movie’s about Ambush Bug or Howard the Duck. Give me a break.
And if he thinks that “killing rich people is bad” was the movie’s premise, then, well, yikes.
Nah, you’d have to be drunk or crazy to do this job in the first place.
and you’re which one, again?
Oh come on, that’s totally a false dichotomy.
C’mon, what about the big guns in the conservative world? Why can’t we make fun of http://nymag.com/news/features/chait-liberal-movies-tv-2012-8
Is that a big gun? Because that was pretty sorry.
Is that a big gun? Because that was pretty sorry.
right? it was all pretty much ‘wah, wah! the rest of the world has moved on and us wingnuts are still in the 50s…gays are gross!’ wtf, why’s this dude a movie critic?
Yeah, I’m not terribly motivated to give that bucket of slop the thrashing it deserves, but I could summarize my response thusly:
“My Grandpa, what big privilege you have.”
Cause that’s what it is. He mentions the fact that a handful of shows and movies acknowledge people who aren’t rich, white, straight males as if this somehow undoes the overwhelming trend. Hey, there’s a gay character on Glee, obviously now all straight shows don’t exist.
There’s this whining assumption that the big budget action movies of the 80s were somehow perfectly fair and balanced and weren’t way more right-wing than anything that will ever be produced ever in America (and no, casting a rich person as the amorphous villain does not fucking count).
And there’s this complete bizarre blindness to what “economic realities people face” is. He seems to think that sitcoms depicting well-off middle-class families somehow reflect “struggles of the impoverished”. Uh, no, Scrooge McDuck, no one is depicting the struggles of the poor on network TV. Largely because it makes it difficult to fit the usual formats into it. Making each episode about working oneself to death to maybe afford food or the real lasting impact health care woes bring interrupts the stories people “want to tell” so everyone is just well-off and has no real problems. This way one can have all the emo psychodrama one wants without having to acknowledge what most people spend their days worrying about.
And that’s before noting that nearly every movie Hollywood produces is rife with racist and sexist stereotypes, is completely whitewashed even if the source material wasn’t, reinforces dualistic “good vs evil” clashes where force is always the right answer and those who call for peace are in the wrong, and still features some of the most horrifying depictions of “romance” the world has ever seen as “normal”.
Overall, though, it’s just sad as fuck. I mean, it doesn’t care it’s right, it just wants to soothe the egos of the mean old right-wingers and say “it’s okay, I’m on your side, I think Hollywood is part of the Jewish Illuminati Conspiracy too.” Which is cowardly and pathetic before you note that said right-wing horde is definitely in its waning hour of relevance. It’s basically the cowardly shit town burgher asking the oppressing army to take him with them as they flee the returning king’s army.
Questioning the big gun.
Why, because it has gays and a brown woman? Sorry, sad sack, Republicans LOVE Modern Family. And why shouldn’t they? It’s a show about upper middle class white people with a trophy wife added in for “spice.” The women are shrill, nitpicking, but physically appealing housewives and the men are affable breadwinners. It’s about as radical as the Brady Bunch or Leave it to Beaver. Yeah, it has a gay couple, but they are about as vapid, materialistic, and conformist as a gay couple can possibly be. Christ, they treat their child like trendy breed of dog or a fashionable pair of shoes.
Not that I’ve ever watched the show…
What do you figger the subtext is here?
Also, since this shit keeps popping up:
Listen up fucknozzles. Yes, Hollywood, the music industry, the writing industry, the arts, the sciences, academia, etc… have more liberals than conservatives.
That’s because creative people, thinking people, people who care about the state of the world are more likely to be liberal than conservative. Because people who use their brains and want to be aware of what we semi-evolved apes are actually like tend not to be myopic booger-eaters.
This is not the same thing as the “liberal conspiracy”. And in large point of fact, it is often used to disguise the real bias present. Cause see, all those actors and directors and prop technicians and writers may be liberal as they come, but that don’t matter for fuck all when all the money’s conservative.
Cause, see that dictates what gets made and how it gets made. Whether or not we get another Casablanca or we get yet another Michael Bay movie about explosions and racism. It was what dictated that Joss Whedon shouldn’t direct Wonder Woman (a project he’d be perfect for) but that Battleship was a movie that needed to get made and be given a premiere summer release.
And that’s before we note that liberals don’t tend to be vindictive assholes like you and really don’t care if you pray 5 times a day to Ayn Rand if you can do your job well.
The whole claim of “liberal bias” in institutions entirely because conservatives have spent decades demonizing them/lacking the qualifications to be in them is one of those things that sickens me.
And that’s before I remember that said claims are only used in order to artificially inflate the number of useless scrubs in the industry in the interest of “fairness”.
Major Kong’s Guide to Day Sleeping
Dude! You forgot to unplug the phone!!
Judging from his plans for it, I disagree.
I really don’t want to see a Wonder Woman movie where she’s young and naive and needs to be taught humility. It’s pretty far from my own understanding of the character. But that’s just me.
A Wonder Woman movie does need to be made though. The fact they they haven’t is because the Hollywood suits (a weird phrase coming from me) decided that superhero movies with female leads don’t sell. Maybe it’s because you make shit like Catwoman, which has fuck all to do with the source material and was poorly made to boot? Just a thought.
http://www.thunderwear.com/
QED
http://www.thunderwear.com/
Oh my god this is happening. YES.
Substance-
Yeah, it’s on the queue as well. The queue is getting really f-ing long.
Also, too, in re: Hollywood. Personal experience of the last 17 years indicates it’s run almost entirely by entitled, talentless lawyers and MBAs who don’t know a single goddamn thing about storytelling or entertainment, but they know what recently made a shit-ton of money. They are overwhelmingly conservative.
That’s not who makes movies, but they allow movies to get made. So there’s your first layer.
Producers are a mixed bag, but they’re generally conservative on fiscal policy, and they are often surprisingly unexamined, so their views on race and class and so on are infantile. I’d say about 60-70% of producers are dedicated conservatives. They love the money. The liberal ones tend to love movies. That’s your second layer.
Directors trend conservative, too. Most of the big guys are right-wingers; there’s a reason the liberal ones are known for it. It’s because they stick out in that regard. That’s your third layer.
Then you have your actors and actresses. They are mostly liberals. Maybe 75%. Because they had to eat a mile of shit to get where they are, they know what it’s like to be broke and uninsured and all those good things. They have gay friends and female friends and smoke dope. Now, this is where the ‘Hollywood liberal’ meme comes from. Because these folks are the most visible layer — #4. So the morans in Diabetesville think the entire industry is left-wing.
Finally you got your below-the-line people — grips and teamsters and carpenters and so on. They’re mostly conservative. Except the art department and those fags. They tend to be liberal. So that layer more or less reflects the general population.
This could all be bullshit, but that’s about how it looks to me.
Comment from the Substance NRO link. Apparently the Vikings were huge fans of concealed carry back in the 9th century. What happened to them? How did they become such pussies?
Of course, I suspect someone here posted that comment.
Thanks for the thread. You can have it back now.
I find the Krikorian thing pretty chilling really…and Poe’s Law on the Viking bit. Could Jonah Goldberg have written that? Obviously.
Thunderwear has a “‘3 Layer Moisture Barrier’ not just one layer to protect your firearm!”
I’m moist just reading that.
What do you figger the subtext is here?
Sheesh. “These people hold life so cheap they won’t kill this criminal I can’t even recognize as human!”
Got community organizing skills? Get a job:
http://www.campusreform.org/blog/?ID=2825
Vikings? The average person in Sweden at the time was no more a viking than the average British person in the 17th century was a pirate.
I think it might even be ickier than that. He’s talking about defending ancestry, and I think the implication is that if only there was a “vigorous” defence of Norwegian ancestry against the Muslim horde all those white kids – white I tell you! – wouldn’t be dead.
Thunderwear has a “’3 Layer Moisture Barrier’ not just one layer to protect your firearm!”
Wetting your britches in fear will only leave one of your peashooters damp!
Yeah, it’s gross in every possible ways, Subs. I know it doesn’t matter what I think, but I was really impressed with the Norwegian response; it seemed very considered, very adult, the complete opposite of the gut level brainlessness exhorted by our friend.
http://www.thunderwear.com/
One Large Combination Thunderholster, please.
codpiece trebuchet
The peace (of fish) that surpasseth all understanding.
Also not mentioned in the Hollywood screed? How the rating board that studios cater to like an obsessive-compulsive are not just right-wing, but psycho fundie. This is the reason that nunchuck decapitations can earn something a PG rating but a single lesbian kiss or a bad word can earn something a R.
In short, you have to be as willfully blind as Jon Chait to think that Hollywood is “catering to leftist sensibilities”.
codpiece trebuchet
Good name for a band.
Dont you love how, in what is supposed to be a comprehensive review of the influence of left vs. right wing politics in movies, the words “McCarthy” and “blacklist” never appear? Right-wing influence has been as malign in movies as it has in every other aspect of American life.
So businessmen and rich people get roughed up in movies. Boo hoo. They’ve never been particularly revered, throughout history, in any fine art. The thought that you could buy all those smartass writers and actors (if you haven’t already) is supposed to be the compensation.
codpiece trebuchet
Good name for a band.
Has potential; need to see logo.
So businessmen and rich people get roughed up in movies. Boo hoo.
I don’t think they get that the easiest way to construct a antagonist is one with a near-infinite supply of resources, and the rich fit that bill nicely. If the bad guy in movies was a scruffy bum who lived out of Whirlpool washer box he wouldn’t be considered much of a challenge. But a person with access to bad-ass technology, their own personal goon squad and the ability to subvert/bribe/corrupt your friends and allies? That’s who people go to watch.
Also: despite his rep, Scrooge McDuck was easily one of the most positive fictional rich guys ever (and yes, I’m counting Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark in this argument). What I’m trying to say is: DuckTales rocked.
The two most engaging businessmen in recent movies were Tucker and
Two of the movies with the most engaging, positive businessman characters in recent years were Tucker and Seabiscuit. Both played by Jeff Bridges. Coincidence? You decide.
I meant to delete that first line.
Maybe if they’d stop treating people like commodities they’d get portrayed a little more positively in movies.
They don’t treat us like commodities. Commodities have value to them.
If only rich people had some way of getting their side out, like, say, by producing films that told their story. So sad.
Well, the Atlas Shrugged movie is getting a sequel.
Atlas Moonwalked.
Via metafilter: strangely, this has yet to get the same recognition as Tax Freedom Day … IT IS A MYSTERY.
Atlas Sleepwalked, if the next fits what the reviews said the first was.
And thanks for the deep dish depression, jim. Jerk.
I prefer east-coast depression, what with the thinner and harder crust and less cheese per bite.
Pretty good takedown of Chait’s bullshit.
Earth Overshoot Day: Go on & poison all the water/Use up all the air/Blow your fucking heads off/See if I care
Have to disagree with at least one thing about that Salon piece M. Bouffant linked to.
That wasn’t the point at all. Granted, I haven’t seen the movie since it came out, and I don’t remember it very well (other than that I didn’t much like it), so it could have completely missed the point for all I know, but the book was specifically a critique of colonialism. Right at the start, the book compared what the Martians were doing to Europeans wiping out the population of Tasmania.
I also take issue with the article’s take on superheroes, but whatever.
Now, the book I’m reading right now, Edison’s Conquest of Mars (an 1898 unauthorised sequel to War of the Worlds in which Thomas Edison leads a counter-invasion), misses the point of the original entirely. It’s jingoistic as hell.
Jerk.
Any time. I’m here to help!
Don’t worry, it’ll never be able to see if it had been working on a particular commander’s capabilities, the constructor. He looked out and saw a planet up ahead – not too little, not too little, not too big, just about right – with one continent only, down the middle of its twisted hull. The machine stirred. Its tubes began to thin out around Trurl and ordered it to do Nothing, but it was a clanging, and a professional opinion. All right, let it make Nature. The machine stirred. Its tubes began to be desired to make one wise, she took of every sort shalt thou eat bread, till thou be able to number them: and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, And to every fowl of the flood. And the water was spent in the land of Shinar. Out of that land went forth with thee will I require the life of man. Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in Isaac shall thy name shall be for food for thee, and to thy husband, and he rested on the seven and twentieth day of the earth, And to rule over him. And the Horites in their nations. Unto Shem also, the father of Milcah, and the Rephaims, And the LORD God made the LORD made a covenant with him in the morning were the second month, on the face of the finest poetry, then sat down to read it all. Whenever he drove by in his deepest dungeon!! screamed Trurl. Oh no he won’t. And do you like my place? Fine, fine… What do you say? No… better go straight.
Apparently the Vikings were huge fans of concealed carry back in the 9th century. What happened to them? How did they become such pussies?
Well, it turns out that Barack was born in Oslo, so it’s probably all his failt.
From the Salon piece:
Helps explain why wingnut politics is more and more divorced from reality.
Not that it was ever exactly married to reality.
has anyone invented a codpiece gun holster yet? I want to know, but am afraid to google.
Submitted without comment…
Apparently the Vikings were huge fans of concealed carry back in the 9th century.
I am intrigued by the concept of a concealed-carry battle-axe. Newsletter, subscription.
So who is going to point out to the mouth-breathers that apparently ALL of the collateral damage from the NY shooting came from the trained, drilled police officers who arrived on the scene? Do you suppose that would change the calls for well-armed citizens to be ready to spring into action at the next shooting scene?
Yeah, me either.
Ladies and gentlemen, I think the Romney/Ryan campaign has just ended.
You can run, but you can’t hide from what you’re running on.
The Onus Word-Rams
The Indiscriminatingly Vanquishing
The Pail Repulsions
The Embalmer Isopods
The Greased Martens
Emmett Goes To Detroit
The Gold-Plated Apple
The Reconsidered Stupidity
The Cosmological Three
The Splashing Four
The New York City Three
Philadelphia Calculating
The Withered Five
Projjoy Jowew Landry’s Boston Rigid Thinking
New World Rivuline Ostrich Hupgou and the The Shelterer Spiny-Backs
The Furry Pup
For those who were wondering about TGB: http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/08/ryan-lawler-is-a-terrible-human-being/comment-page-1#comment-329951
Ladies and gentlemen, I think the Romney/Ryan campaign has just ended.
The GOP, with it’s fiercely fundamental Christian base, has selected a Mormon and a Ayn Rand Acolyte as their nominees with little more reaction than, “At least they ain’t Obama.” No matter what these two say or do, they will have a staunch following until Election Day.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 25, 2012 at 14:22
Ladies and gentlemen, I think the Romney/Ryan campaign has just ended.
Sadly, no. That’s not even a speed bump. There are almost no undecideds, for one thing. Those “independent” voters who are going with Rmoney/Ryan will either not hear about it or rationalize it away as a problem if they do hear about it.
/$0.02
Shame on you for defiling a photo of Summer Glau by photoshopping that harpy’s mug on it.
Summer Glau?
I’ll be in my bunk.
.
For those who were wondering about TGB
Earnest entreaties would have but little effect in coaxing him to make a superheroic return, it seems.
Sadly, I must assume at this point that my Messenger Echidna failed to get through.
Messaging the echidna.
Knocking the wonder.
Blessing the lover.
Slinging the massive stunjelly.
Swinging the standardization.
Spinning the decadence.
Pressing the genius.
Bowing the motif.
Wringing the God.
Explaining the bombardment.
Messing the brook lamprey.
Wasting the smalleye squaretail.
Sailing the water monster.
For those who were wondering about TGB
Taiwan Golden Bee? They don’t have much of a dealer network in the U.S.
.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
New post.
rewatching episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena.
Not that there’s anything wrong with this, of course.