Personal Responsibility Means Always Having to Say It’s Obama’s Fault
Soooo evil!
Kathryn Jean Lopez, National Cockatoo:
Omaha Stacy vs. HHS
If there’s one thing I have always admired about wingnuts, it’s their unflagging commitment to Personal Responsibility.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Not allowing a crazy woman to screw over herself, because she wants to screw over others, makes Obama and the Democrats personally responsible for the negative consequences that would happen if she were allowed to screw herself over!
By which I of course meant, their unflagging commitment to making Obama and Democrats personally responsible for every possible bad thing that could ever occur.
Stub your toe? Obama’s fault. Get beaten for the last parking space? Obama’s fault. The enduring poverty of the inner cities? Obama’s fault. The exploitation of China prior to the Boxer Rebellion? Definitely Obama’s fault. What did you think he used the time machine for in between planting evidence of his fictional American birth?
Apparently, in wingnut land, Obama sits upon his dread ebony throne and micromanages Satan’s work to ensure maximum inexplicable harm.
Which, to be fair, is quite accurate. I mean, look at the horns!
Stacy (Molai) Thomlison knows that life can be hard and unfair, that we can afford to help one another along the way, and that many of the contentious debates inside the Beltway actually are about and affect real people.
Well, that would put her above every other conservative on the planet.
I’m not even fucking kidding on that. I’m pretty sure wingnuts think that “National Elections” are a giant American Idol-style write-in contest where you decide whose team wins the Culture War.
And as far as “afford to help one another”? Not even going to begin to tackle that one.
Thomlison is 31 and suffers from Crohn’s disease, a chronic gastrointestinal condition that threatened her life when she was a teenager.
That’s a legitimate disease.
Yeah, bet you thought I would make some sort of joke about her “being used to flinging shit around” but I’m better than-
I just made the joke, didn’t I?
Well, fuck!
This patient is also a plaintiff in a lawsuit filed by seven state attorneys general in response to the Department of Health and Human Services mandate requiring employers, regardless of their religious convictions, to provide insurance coverage for contraception, sterilization, and abortion-inducing drugs.
Oh fantastic, we’re back here again.
So, yes, poor widdle Stacy Wacy is weeping into her uncontrollable bowels because the mean old government won’t let employers own their employees and screw them out of their earned compensation packages.
And it is worth noting here that as far as I can surmise, Ms. (Molai) Thomlison, doesn’t actually have a company with employees to screw over, but is rather an extremely dimwitted young woman with an addiction to going “Boom” on twitter.
So she’s not even entering this to screw over her own employees, but rather the right to screw over potential future employees.
The lawsuit seeks to strike down the mandate “as a direct violation of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.”
Cause apparently the First Amendment means that anyone can dictate to anyone else what religious precepts they must live their life by.
Well, all right, but I’m not sure wingnuts will appreciate my new religion Cerberusism which holds as its central and only religious tenet that wingnuts bathe their genitals in a bath of rusty razor blades.
Thomlison relies on her medical insurance for supplies that would otherwise cost her $300 to $400 a month. Each hospitalization and surgery costs $3,000 to $5,000. “Should the mandate be upheld,” she insists, “I would gladly give up my insurance coverage, despite the very real risk that would pose to my financial well-being and my health.”
So, to reiterate. You plan to completely bankrupt yourself and your homosexual husband because you are not allowed to strip your hypothetical future employees and self of health insurance.
And this is the fault of the Administration and the Department of Health and Human Services, because…
Stupidity is a pre-existing condition?
Without the specialized care she needs, obedience to her conscience rather than the mandate could put her life in danger.
Well, not really. Thanks to another cock down the throat of wingnuts everywhere, Stacy would be protected from her self-destructive nature by the equally oppressive health insurance mandate.
And that’s before re-noting that her initial whine is about employers not being able to eliminate health insurance over “conscience clauses”, which she isn’t. So her health insurance is safe… from her, unless she happens to win her insane crusade of fail.
But hey, if one is prevented from putting her life in danger over bullshit, they might as well be dead, so TAKE THAT LIBERALS!
That’s not quite how the president sold the bill: your conscience in exchange for medical insurance.
Yeah, K-Load really does blame Obama for this brainwash victim’s thwarted Martyrdom Fail.
Explicitly.
Personal Responsibility, everybody!
Thomlison is in the target age bracket for the administration’s cynical ploy to scare voters with mendacious rhetoric about a GOP “war on women.” But she sees through it.
She sees through the War on Women she is an active participant in?
That’s… impressive.
“‘Free’ contraception under this law isn’t really free,” she tells me. “Everyone pays for it. Being forced to use my money to help pay for contraception violates my conscience as a Catholic and is therefore a violation of my constitutionally guaranteed rights.” She adds: “What worries me the most is the violation of our ‘first freedom,’ the freedom of religion. If this freedom is taken away, others will be sure to follow.”
Sigh.
Okay, I need to step back from the snark for just a second.
This woman is a moron. She has no idea what the law she is being ordered to hate is about. She has no ability to form sentences that aren’t just half-remembered buzzwords her priest vomited out during Mass and I doubt she is even fully aware of the implications of her actions to the extent that K-Load is.
And K-Load and the Catholic Diocese is exploiting the fuck out of her, using her tragic gullibility and susceptibility to right-wing talking points to try and make a martyr out of her in order to pretend that there is a human cost to the thwarting of their attempt to literally own employees.
Yeah, callousness to real human beings is a feature on the right, but this is akin to leading a Special Needs kid in front of a bus so you can sue the bus driver for reckless endangerment.
All right, seriousness over with, back to snark.
The recent Supreme Court ruling upholding another part of the health-care law has been an opportunity to educate: “There are so many people who know ‘something big’ is going on, but they don’t know exactly what it is or why they should care one way or the other. It has been a great opportunity to enter into meaningful conversations with people and to encourage them to continue to educate themselves.”
Well, Stacy, people might want to care about the big thing your Pedophile Church doesn’t want you talking about, because of how it prevents people like you from being completely screwed if they decided to do something incredibly stupid, like, throw away their health insurance because the 80 year old man with his cock up a 12-year-old girl’s anus told them it was religiously necessary.
Or to put it in your own words: Your martyrdom was Christ-blocked. BOOM!
Media portrayed the recent Fortnight for Freedom as a political campaign of sorts.
The what now?
No seriously, this is the first time I’ve even heard of this thing. A Google News search turns up mostly web commentary and a small smattering of opinion pieces for Religion sections. A random Slacktvist post notes that it was pretty well advertised in the Catholic parishes, but since I don’t give weekly tithes to criminal organizations, this is the first I’ve heard of it.
But hey, just because something has about 3 attendees on a hoverund doesn’t mean that we can’t blame the media for its failure.
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
Bishops were accused of being a de facto arm of the Romney campaign, for simply raising awareness about the gift of freedom and our responsibilities to protect it. Thomlison is not concerned about the rap: “It shouldn’t be a partisan issue to defend constitutional freedoms.”
Because I apparently have no life, I clicked on a bunch of those Google News links and couldn’t find the origin of this whiny screed. So who knows what obscure corner of the internet birthed this tirade.
Fuck, there probably isn’t an origin. This is Jonah Goldberg’s National Review after all. Why bother responding to even obscure real things when the delusions in one’s head are faster to churn out, leaving more time for sammitches.
This may not surprise you, because you’ve already been introduced to her zeal, but Thomlison is also a missionary
Nah, really? The crazed evangelical zealot is a crazed evangelical zealot?
So, what poor bunch of foreigners are forced to listen to her half-remembered sermons in order to get their daily allotment of moldy food and smallpox-infected blankets?
— not in some foreign land but in the heartland: Omaha, Nebraska.
…
Truly, the most savage godless land imaginable. A wasteland of heathens needing to accept Jesus Christ as their one true savior.
Actually, this is apparently the new thing for missionary work. Going somewhere filled entirely with white Christians of a different denomination and trying to convert them to the “right” denomination.
Honestly, I fully support this. It’s a win win for everybody. Sanctimonious white racists don’t have to demean themselves by living in non-white dominated countries and interacting with filthy non-white people. And said third world denizens don’t have to have their countries royally fucked over by douchebags from the first world who want to use their country as a sandbox for their douchey kids.
And her evangelism isn’t only about the drawbacks to the president’s health-care law. She is a missionary with the Fellowship of Catholic University Students, a support to students who seek to live their young lives in accord with the gospel.
Of the many things Stacy isn’t, she is also not a student. But she still comes on campus and annoys students, because apparently it’s not creepy when the pervy older person staring at the young college kids is holding a Bible over their excited genitals.
I’m sure she’s a great hit with the kids too, what with her belief that she is personally affected because her potential future self is prevented from preventing others from fucking safely.
No wonder she seems to have so much free time.
“The college campus is a unique environment where students are away from home but not fully in the ‘real world’ yet,” Thomlison says. “It is a time where young people make many important decisions that will affect the rest of their lives, like choosing a career and finding a spouse. They also make important decisions about religion. Missionaries help college students to realize their faith is not something their parents believe or something they’ve been told; missionaries help students to make their faith in Jesus their own.”
It is worth noting in the previous bit that she is a “missionary” to Omaha where she only proselytizes kids in the same faith as her.
For this “important missionary work” she was yanked out of a job she loved and was ordered to move from cultural interesting New York to cultural wasteland Omaha.
Now, not to yank any of this Personal Responsibility out of her own fuck up hands, but how fucked is your moral philosophy when you’re wasting missionaries just trying to hold onto your own people in the most religious areas of the country?
I can see why the Catholic Church assumes that demanding the right to own employees like chattel is the only way they’ll be able to ensure their followers follow Church law.
Thomlison has some experience with the realities of living authentic Christianity, particularly in the face of suffering. But she says that, while Crohn’s disease has inflicted pain on her life
Oh no! If only there was a set of laws that ensured that she received medical treatment for it without it bankrupting her, even if she was a self-destructive moron trying to find a way to throw it away!
it has also helped her become “a better person”: “Experiencing this kind of suffering has made me more compassionate, patient, and understanding.”
And how does she demonstrate this compassion?
By bitching at college students to fuck in ways that ensure they have to drop out and abandon their dreams and suing for the right to screw her potential future employees out of their earned compensation because her homosexual husband hasn’t even faked looking her way in years.
While that’s pretty compassionate, I think only the pain of being completely indebted to a forced martyrdom by her Church’s out-of-touch leaders can truly make a saint out of her.
Why is the mean Obama Administration trying to block her spiritual growth?!?
The illness has also, she says, brought her closer to God. Her missionary zeal took hold of her during a pilgrimage she “tagged along” for, to the Holy Land in 2009. She says the friendships she formed there, rooted in faith, were pivotal in bringing her to where she is today.
Translation: Peer pressure + untreated mental illness = missionary zeal.
Or rather, since I did some internet research into this unfortunate idiot, horny for some guy fucking the bellboy + it turns out he’s Catholic = I threw away my life in service to octogenarian child molesters.
Keenly aware of the often unspoken trials that men and women face, Thomlison looks forward to returning to the nursing profession she left after hooking up with FOCUS three years ago.
Again, I’m just sad for this wretch. Well, sad for her and glad for the clients who aren’t suffering her inept and life-threatening medical care. She gave up something she loved and is willing to risk her own life entirely because religion poisoned what little remained of her cognitive ability.
I mean, hooray to the poor New York residents who don’t have to suffer what I’m sure was the most horrifyingly inept nursing outside of a horror movie, but still.
“It is my great desire to work with ostomy patients like myself,” she says, so she is getting an extra certification in wound, ostomy, and continence care. At the same time, she’s also “prayerfully considering religious life.”
No, that’s okay. You just consider that religious life. It’s probably for the best. We don’t need you deciding that affixing that rectal camera is a violation of your First Amendment Rights because you’re scared that the ripping your previous probing caused may have been caused by gay sex.
Rest assured, though. Nurse Stacy is not going to try to impose her religious beliefs on you when you are at your most vulnerable, or try to take away your birth control.
Well, of course not, seeing as how her laughably poorly thought out lawsuit will be thrown out of the courts faster than you can say “no probable cause”.
But if her campaign for self-destruction had an ice cube’s chance in Hell of succeeding, that would be exactly what she was fighting for. Like, the exact right that her and the Church have been explicitly demanding.
I’m not sure we should give you a free pass just because you suck at fighting for it.
As for her lawsuit and this moment in history, she points out that she is just an American.
…
And this matters because…?
Should I be doing this more often in my daily life?
Well, you see, your honor. You might be wondering why I drove that bus of nuns into the harbor. Well, you see, I’m an American, and as an American, I was born in America. QED, ipso facto, and of course, America!
“I’m concerned about protecting the freedoms that the Constitution of the United States guarantees, not just for me, but for all of us. This isn’t a ‘religious’ issue, it is an American issue. It affects all of us.”
The freedom to own one’s employees even in the hours they aren’t working for you and overwrite their religious beliefs with those of the only one who matters. That being the illustrious job creator we are ordered to pray to thrice a day.
It’s the little known Zeroth Amendment, which trumps the actual First Amendment on the Super Secret Wingnut Constitution written on invisible ink on Glenn Beck’s Bible.
If only Obama’s stormtroopers didn’t destroy the only extant copy after they forced Stacy to do without health care by preventing her from doing without her health care because her bosses wanted to make a martyr out of her.
And other terribly evil things which are definitely not the responsibility of temper-throwing wingnuts unable to reconcile the fact that they don’t actually own the world like a Captain Planet villain.
Truly, there has never been a more apt demonstration of Personal Responsibility!
Irresponsible First
I just want to point out the perfection of that statement.
Yeah, great, our plan is blown, we shall soon stomp the land flat with our healthcare and keep salt out of the wounds. Fear us. Stuff.
Sense of humor left some time ago. What a bunch of assholes. A bouquet of assholes. A stinky melange of assholes. A “Where-Is-The-Industrial-Size-And-Strength-Preparation-H” commercial of asssholes.
Stupid keyboard.
Is it possible that K-Lo managed to finally track down somebody dumber and crazier than herself?
I say no, but she’s getting closer.
LOOK AT ALL YOU Libtarts PReyinG to Obambi!1!
~
Because we have no military, as it violates the rights of the Quakers to be forced to pay taxes for it.
Too late.
Moar proof that all Obambi does is play golf!
i am proud to say that i uncovered this steaming pile of excrement the day k-lo shat it out and was so incensed that i made comments over there…as did st. jim…imma go check it out, cuz i wanna see if my debate is still going over there…
If Romney wins we’re all fucked.
Kathryn Jean Lopez, National Cockatoo:
Hey, don’t bad mouth the cockies!
Mouthing the cockies..,oh never mind.
I advise disposing of the excrement or covering it back up, lest some other unfortunate soul steps in it too.
crazy woman allowing her to screw herself over……I thought it would be about orly taitz??????
If Romney wins we’re all fucked.
Roger that.
I don’t think there are any “future employees” involved in what passes for this woman’s brains. I think she objects to having health insurance because someone else could use health insurance to pay for contraception and thus morally contaminate her by osmosis. Or something.
“Ned doesn’t believe in insurance. He says it’s a form of gambling.”
Ol’ Ned is looking positively rational these days.
“Ned doesn’t believe in insurance. He says it’s a form of gambling.”
Medicare is a gateway to BINGO. Everyone knows that.
Medicare is a gateway to BINGO. Everyone knows that.
No, BINGO’s okay – every wednesday at the Knights of Columbus.
Knights of Columbus. KOC
Coincidence? I don’t think so!
Apparently, in wingnut land, Obama sits upon his dread ebony throne and micromanages Satan’s work to ensure maximum inexplicable harm.
If you don’t micromanage Satan, he just sits around playing Angry Birds all day.
Actually, this is apparently the new thing for missionary work. Going somewhere filled entirely with white Christians of a different denomination and trying to convert them to the “right” denomination.
I am tempted to pray this’ll really take off. And why not? Evangelizing at me will do them no good. I see win-win-win in all directions. Do I dare to hope?
Actually, this is apparently the new thing for missionary work. Going somewhere filled entirely with white Christians of a different denomination and trying to convert them to the “right” denomination.
Years ago, my mother, rest her soul, was part of a nondenominational Bible study group at a local church. A couple of young girls who were part of the group told her that they were about to travel as missionaries to Florida.
“Who will you try to convert down there?” Mom asked.
“The Greek Orthodox!” they said brightly.
Mom, who was Greek Orthodox on both sides for many generations and never missed a Sunday liturgy if she wasn’t ill, asked them, “They aren’t Christians?”
“Oh, no,” the girls said. “Their priests have beards.”
“I see,” Mom said. “Tell me, what language do you think the New Testament was originally written in?”
They were surprised that she would ask such an obvious question. “Why, English, of course!”
Mom didn’t say anything else, but the next Sunday at church, she lit a candle for all her co-religionists in Florida.
If you don’t micromanage Satan, he just sits around playing Angry Birds all day.
See, Satan isn’t so bad after all. He’s just like us!
~
Oh lord, my FREEEEDOMS!! I can feel them slipping away…no longer allowed to impose my fantasy-fueled moral scolding on the lives of people at some point I may hire to do theoretical work for me! THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!
I want to feel bad for this woman, who has been mentally mutilated into a lump of subservient flesh for evil and more intelligent people to push around. I really do. (Thomlinson, not KLo. KLo’s mental mutilation is quite different) It’s really sad to see a living, thinking human being turned into a brainless puppet that thinks their ridiculous attempts at crusades under the banner of religious fantasy is somehow beneficial to humanity. This sort of thing is really damn sad. But the stupid… the stupid hurts so much…
So they’re actually shuffling martyrs to the tumbrils in vain hope that some well-meaning doctor will execute them with good health? I don’t understand.
My mind hurts.
Rather topical blogwhore.
I haz a crankynish.
I take it the Romney campaign is gonna adopt another proven loser of a strategy: emphasizing Obama’s youthful experimentation with cocaine and marijuana.
Sununu took this route. It’s aimed at shut-ins who’d think that Ralph Nader is a hippie. People who never exercise their minds, never challenge their capacities, might prefer to believe that merely trying dope closes the door on mental acuity and moral sense. Thinking that gives them smug solace, I guess. A fig-leaf covering up the obvious: that they’re dumber than Obama, less capable than Oliver Stone (a random hardcore pick), & c. & c.
I could go on. This is a shitty strategy in 2012. You alienate who, in order to get votes from who? Consider young people who’ve tried dope but have values and ambitions and are newly politicized — I’d want their votes.
I’m not sure wingnuts will appreciate my new religion Cerberusism which holds as its central and only religious tenet that wingnuts bathe their genitals in a bath of rusty razor blades.
Tell them it’ll piss off liberals, and they’ll have to spend Willpower points (or make Will rolls or Cool rolls or what have you) to stop themselves.
welp, i went back to nro and it seems my half-spirited debate with ‘mike'(?) is over…languished to death…he still believes the church’s religious freedom will be stifled by aca…he never explained HOW, but i guess that’s beside the point…he also inisists on comparing aca to making a quaker serve in the military…
i considered going back over, but nro has the shittiest commenting system, my keyboard is broken and ‘the fog of war’ is on so i can yell at the teevee instead of k-lo’s big stupid head and nurse stacy the clueless…
…leaving more time for sammitches..
We used to spell it ‘sammiches’. Alas, I’ve missed so much.
There was a halcyon time when people simply mispronounced “sandwich,” or its plural.
Verily oh noble one.
Egads! The hounds!! I can hear the hounds!!!
My escape has been discovered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Churches shouldn’t be allowed to hire employees!!!111! Everyone involved with a church should be a volunteer who works for FREE, or maybe some, stewed coffee in a paper cup, and day-old donuts.
If they don’t wanna pay for comprehensive medical insurance, they shouldn’t be running businesses.
“Their priests have beards.”
I hear Jeebus just hates that.
She added: “And that’s why anything remotely and incidentally offensive to my faith must be permanently banned, in the name of equality, freedom and the American Dream”.
You know — here in the last Soviet State, people who make arguments like that usually simply say: “I don’t want to pay for your shit, you dirty hippie bastard”. And then the other guy says: “That’s fine, let’s look at how much it costs us as a society to drop a reasonably maintained level of healthcare, in terms of sick-days and lost income, along with creeping costs in terms of medical bills, loans that can’t be paid, and so on — just in the first and most immediate circumstances”.
And then the first guy says: “Fine. But I still think you should die if you don’t own a mansion on Nøtterøy, and have a pension that can pay for five servants to have said house ready for unannounced summer-visits”. And then the second guy says: “Jolly good, then here’s my proposal, and let’s vote on the damned thing, then”.
But note how we don’t get someone categorically equating their wishes with the divine right bestowed upon them by the trinity of the constitution, lord jesus and the holy courts.
You know why that is? It’s because it’s considered negative to be that much of a shameless liar. If you say something like that in public – “We find that socialism – except the kind that has supported my church and my activities in the Holy Land, of course – is against the law! – then people react.
Why don’t you? … generally speaking.
Why don’t you?
Beeeeeeeecauuuuuuuuusssssse, 78% of us believe that the Bible is either the literal Word of God or inspired by the Word of God. And the people in charge are happy to milk that lot for all they’re worth.
The Nth Amendment explicitly protects ALL forms of cultural atavism from ANY restrictions, as passed into law by President Foghorn Leghorn in 1779 BC!
Plainly Obama wants to do away with this sacred covenant so that he can impose his demonic communist “pro-civilization” mumbo-jumbo on God-fearing Yankees!
Obama has already advocated teaching innocent children Satanic subjects like HISTORY or SCIENCE instead of the phrenology, astrology & divining of dove-entrails that was good enough for our forefathers!
Better get busy hurling those virgins into volcanoes while you still can, Amerika!
*greasing up CPR paddles*
CLEAR!
*kazunk*
Nice photoshop, btw…putting that US flag behind Obama. Cleverly done.
Nice photoshop, btw…putting that US flag behind Obama.
It has fringe on it, so it’s an Admiralty flag.
“Actually, this is apparently the new thing for missionary work. Going somewhere filled entirely with white Christians of a different denomination and trying to convert them to the “right” denomination.”
This is no doubt true. Twice in the last three months I have had Mor(m)ons at my front door. I live in an upper middle class neighborhood of Austin that has “No Soliciting” signs at each entrance. I ran the first couple of apple-cheeked, white-shirted idiots off by confronting them with Joseph Smith and Mountain Meadow Massacre stories. They, literally, could not get away fast enough and offered a “well, we’ll go find someone who is prepared to hear the truth.” The second pair included an apparent African, based on his dialect. The poor fool tried to explain to me that they weren’t soliciting; they were proselytizing, although I had to help him with the word.
The point is: why weren’t they in Borneo or some other hell hole where there is at least the chance that they would encounter people that might not have heard their fanciful stories?
Mom didn’t say anything else, but the next Sunday at church, she lit a candle for all her co-religionists in Florida.
Speaking as someone living in the epicenter of Greek Orthodoxy in Florida… the missionaries aren’t especially putting the area at risk anytime soon.
Obama often turns his ass in the direction of the U.S. flag. He presumes to stand in front of it, much as he places his judgment ahead of the constitution.
Obama often turns his ass in the direction of the U.S. flag.
Maybe he’s presenting and hopes that the flag will impregnate him, resulting in little red, white, blue, and black childflags.
Beeeeeeeecauuuuuuuuusssssse, 78% of us believe that the Bible is either the literal Word of God or inspired by the Word of God. And the people in charge are happy to milk that lot for all they’re worth.
Nailed it. Plus, in a related point, most Americans are too dumb to take either side of nipsen’s imaginary dialogue. “Unannounced summer-visits,” hehe.
I may have to tell Mormons I’ve carefully considered their offer and decided I don’t want to populate a planet with billions of my spirit babies.
Billions? you been busy.
The funny thing to me about intra-Christian missionaryizing is that it reveals the degree to which the religious right will fall apart if it didn’t have a common enemy. So Ms. Shoot herself-in-the Foot is spending her life trying to win people away from heresy even as she (and her bishop, presumably) are making political bedfellows with those same people? It would be one thing if the bishops had the upper-hand in that political partnership, but given the history of anti-Catholicism in the Anglo-American world, are they deluded enough to think they really have that upper-hand and are not in reality helping those who view the Catholic Church as the Whore of Babylon gain more power?
And this goes double for my fellow Hebes who think that just because they support the worst aspects of Likud, the fundies are our friends.
IOW, it ain’t just Ms. Stacy who’s shooting herself in the foot by making common cause with the religious right.
I got a voice message on my cell phone yesterday – fortunately, I never actually answer but let VM take the calls – calling me by name and telling me I had to get on my knees and accept Jeebus. This type of behavior is why, when I encounter a proselytizer in real life, I insult them as thoroughly and creatively as my command of the English language permits.
Maybe he’s presenting and hopes that the flag will impregnate him, resulting in little red, white, blue, and black childflags.
Gross, heinous, and yet yours is the only plausible explanation.
Story of my life.
Making a chocolate bar called JESUS would be a good move.
El M, not as busy as I’d have to become to fill my quota.
Making a chocolate bar called JESUS would be a good move.
It’d have to be white chocolate.
Twice in the last three months I have had Mor(m)ons at my front door.
oh, holy crap…see what’s happening here, sheeple? giving mitt’s mormonism just a teency bit of credibility by putting him in his current political position has made these mormon’s bold! by gum, pretty soon they and their alien/spirit gods and their magic underwear will be taking over the world! i fearfully await the coming war between jeebus and whoever is in command over there on whatever planet…*
*i have a serious lack of knowledge regarding all the personages and the ins and outs of the mormon faith…good thing? you be the judge…
Mormon’s Bold, the new lager from Utah.
by gum, pretty soon they and their alien/spirit gods and their magic underwear will be taking over the world!
I’d say the Mormon-Islamic wars of 2013-2065 should be pretty interesting, except they’ll be dragging the rest of us along with them.
Mormon’s Bold, the new lager from Utah.
drink it in your magic underwear…while you choose which wife to sleep with tonight!
I’d say the Mormon-Islamic wars of 2013-2065 should be pretty interesting, except they’ll be dragging the rest of us along with them.
If I can get finally get my Mattel Hoverboard out of it, it’ll be worth it.
“Mormon-Islamic wars of 2013-2065”
The first world war with no booze. And you thought war was hell before.
The first world war with no booze. And you thought war was hell before.
ha! and i bet us chicks will be left out of it…oh, wait…we’d be suicide bombers, wouldn’t we…
The Muslims will win because they’re thoroughly caffeinated.
The first world war with no booze. And you thought war was hell before. – Golem Heart
In my experience, Muslims are more like Baptists than Mormons when it comes to the whole non-drinking thing. I’ve never known a committed Mormon who touches booze. OTOH, I’ve known many an otherwise observant Muslim or Baptist that … well, what’s the old joke:
Jews do not recognize the divinity of Jesus
Protestants do not recognize the authority of the Pope
Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store
In my experience, the joke works just as well with “Muslims” substituted for “Baptists”, but doesn’t work at all if you substitute “Mormons” … but maybe I don’t know enough Mormons? Couldn’t be though … because I was a Boy Scout, so I’ve had plenty of opportunities to become acquainted with Mormons …
In my experience, Muslims are more like Baptists than Mormons when it comes to the whole non-drinking thing.
The Turks certainly like to drink, but they’re mostly pretty secular as Muslims go.
drink it in your magic underwear…while you choose which wife to sleep with tonight!
Umm, dammit bb, now you got me questioning this whole religion thing again…
Umm, dammit bb, now you got me questioning this whole religion thing again…
i’d say the wife you have is all the wife you need, mr.!
You go to bed with the wife you have, not the wife you wish you had.
I may have to tell Mormons I’ve carefully considered their offer and decided I don’t want to populate a planet with billions of my spirit babies.
That’s one of the things I just don’t get. If you get a planet with all your family and you are the god there, are there multiple instances where each new generation (of males, I presume – women only get to tag along?) makes another instance? Fucking moronism, how does it work?
It has fringe on it, so it’s an Admiralty flag.
So, the Usurper-in-Chief has made himself Admiral now?
heh…i’m listening to the twins game and just heard this exchange:
dan gladden: blah, blah, blah…i guess that was some sort of…crotch chop?
corey provis: uh, sorry?
So, the Usurper-in-Chief has made himself Admiral now?
good god! is there nothing he won’t do?!?!?
It was God’s will.
Why is Obama wearing cat ears? And holding a pitchfork?
WORST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER, PRESIDENT OBUMMER.
drink it in your magic underwear…while you choose which wife to sleep with tonight!
Umm, dammit bb, now you got me questioning this whole religion thing again…
So how many mothers-in-law would be enough for you?
If you get a planet with all your family and you are the god there, are there multiple instances where each new generation (of males, I presume – women only get to tag along?) makes another instance?
Potentially, though each man would have to be faithful and fecund to be allowed to become an alien god. The women do more than just tag along, they also get to submit to their god-husband and give birth for eternity. Um, yay?
It was God’s will.
yes, i heard that he said he wouldn’t have done anything differently…so, either he’s convinced he’s the innocent victim or he’s sporting a set of brass balls…
The women do more than just tag along, they also get to submit to their god-husband and give birth for eternity. Um, yay?
jesus…the thrill of childbirth wore off after the second one for me…cannot imagine going through it for all time…no matter how awesome my own planet is…
“So how many mothers-in-law would be enough for you?”
Paging Mr. McGravitas……….
It was God’s will.
And now it is My will that you go to prison for a very long time.
Seriously, and this is their highest heaven, the best offer for women, to pop out babies and do what you’re told forever. Plus no beer! Frankly, anyone sane recognizes HELL when they hear it.
Seriously, and this is their highest heaven, the best offer for women, to pop out babies and do what you’re told forever. Plus no beer! Frankly, anyone sane recognizes HELL when they hear it.
But, in order to have those babies you get to have sex with a god! What more could you possibly want?
What more could you possibly want?
to not front poop spirit babies forever…?
Watch out for swans trying to sweet-talk you.
Watch out for swans trying to sweet-talk you.
take me to your leda…
Maybe there’s no beer but you could probably make something from distilled spirits babies.
El M: OUCH.
Also, wouldn’t swans sweet-honk you? Unless they were Mute…
If I had more than one wife, wouldn’t it just mean that many more chances for me to be wrong?
Frinstance if you distilled spirits you could have djinn and tonics.
Frinstance if you distilled spirits you could have djinn and tonics.
I prefer djinn and Cherub Coke.
El M:
LOOK UNDER YOUR SEAT! LOOK UNDER YOUR SEAT! YES! ITS A NEW INTERNET!!!
Did someone call for me?
Wait, so it’s a violation of your religion if you have insurance coverage for treatment that you voluntarily choose not to use?
How’s that work?
My religion prohibits dancing, so it’s a violation of my religious belief if I’m forced to get an insurance policy that includes coverage for treatment of heel spurs?
Of course. Just as it’s a violation of Mittens’ religious belief if his insurance covers treatment for alcoholism or caffeine withdrawal symptoms.
Pull my finger & make a wish!
THAT’S NO FINGER.
THAT’S NO FINGER.
http://youtu.be/4F4qzPbcFiA
THAT’S NO FINGER.
and that’s not my belly button…
Those aren’t pillows!
‘scuse my (not) fingahs
“Should the mandate be upheld,” she insists, “I would gladly give up my insurance coverage, despite the very real risk that would pose to my financial well-being and my health.”
I’ll believe it when she ponies up the shekels.
Only religious denominations that rely on offerings proselytize. Whether the witnesses are pure of heart and aware of it, or not, they’re looking for donors when they go door to door. Someone in that outfit wants your money. That’s why I think it’s important for any church that wants to be heavily invested in the making of our laws to lose its tax-free status until it decides to dedicate itself to its religion, because they do not have the right to impose their beliefs even on their congregations. That’s voluntary shit.
The Cabin In The Woods: Special GOP Edition.
Also, he “pals around”.
I’ll believe it when she ponies up the shekels.
oh, she won’t…there will be a series of benefits held “to help defray medical costs…” i see it allllll the time…
The Cabin In The Woods: Special GOP Edition.
According to Pryme’s link, this guy met a woman online, took her to a movie, found out during the course of the evening her visa had expired, and threatened to turn her in unless she had sex with him.
It probably was a shitty movie, too.
GRIDLOCK!
So what is it with conservatives and coercion? Does the idea of consent completely escape them?
Also, how is it that the last 3 Republican presidential candidates have had daddy issues? Think about it: Dubya was at least partly setting policy based on what 41 didn’t do; Grampa Grumpy had an admiral daddy and most of his naval career was set against daddy and now Rmoney is running to get the position for daddy too.
Hm, those two thoughts in juxtaposition are…interesting.
Looking for advice – typed on an iPad while flat on my back – what’s the best position to lessen the pain from a pinched nerve in my back?
Hm, those two thoughts in juxtaposition are…interesting.
a commenter sums it up as:
what’s the best position to lessen the pain from a pinched nerve in my back?
fetal, in a corner with plenty of ice…and gin…
srsly…pain in upper or lower back?
Sciatic nerve, low back.
Cue the grandpa jokes.
Some position diagrams here that I don’t think are gonna vary much.
Tenks. Im almost in number two right now,.
also here… i usually favor the on the side leg bent, no pillows…but it varies by person…
Tenks. Im almost in number two right now,.
1. HAWT
2. PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN
The side position is close to my normal sleeping position and very painful right now.
Also, how is it that the last 3 Republican presidential candidates have had daddy issues – Whale Chowder
But Obama has some daddy issues too! But then again, Obama is hardly the liberal, socialist LIBERAL that the right makes him out to be, so I think we might be on to something here …
The side position is close to my normal sleeping position and very painful right now.
bummer…are you icing or heating at all? icing sucks, so i don’t do it a very much…all that ever helps me is drugs and the chiropractor…
But Obama has some daddy issues too! But then again, Obama is hardly the liberal, socialist LIBERAL that the right makes him out to be, so I think we might be on to something here
obama has normal daddy issues…and by that i mean, yeah…you’re likely to have some issues if your dad ditches you…the other ones, though? yeah, i think the male inadequacy theory works…
Holy crap, that Utah predator teabagger is waging the GOP War on Women one woman at a time. Fuck, they really are monsters.
what’s the best position to lessen the pain from a pinched nerve in my back?
Standing at the bar…
With your legs in the air, getting plooved. No really, it takes your mind off the pain. So I have heard.
With your legs in the air, getting plooved. No really, it takes your mind off the pain. So I have heard.
Shorter Pupienus: Fuck the Pain Away– need I say the link is NSFW?
I am fifteen inches taller than Mrs__B and literally twice her weight. I stay earthbound during plooviness.
The side position is close to my normal sleeping position and very painful right now.
Yeah, I did a similar thing to my back a few weeks ago. Still have the pinched nerve symptoms but most of the back pain is gone. Aleve (actually the generic equivalent) and trying to maintain a proper arch (“lordosis”) in whatever position I’m in helps. Icing won’t help the pinched nerve but might help with the back muscle spasms you may be also having.
I think I slept flat on my back with a pillow under the knees (and woke up a few times per night) for about a week before it got better.
Getting old sucks but it still beats the alternative.
I’m 6’3 and close to an eighth of a ton. I suspect my old age will involve multiple prosthetics…and that’s just the PENIS.
I’m 6’3 and close to an eighth of a ton. and that’s just the PENIS.
PENIS measurements are traditionally given as length and girth. Just sayin.
If you can measure PENIS in tons, you do.
If you can measure PENIS in tons, you do.
Oh, I can do that: 0.000122449. Bonus: that’s long tons.
Sur-prize! Sur-prize! Sur-prize!
I suspect my old age will involve multiple prosthetics…and that’s just the PENIS.
“Well lad, I don’t know where ye been, but I see you’ve won first prize”
I’ve always tagged “again” onto that punch line, but I like excess.
Police have a possible serial foot-licker in custody after a 49-year-old man was arrested for inappropriately touching two young girls at an upstate New York library.
“‘I am being set up by the President Barack Obama and the city and the federal government,’ Parri said outside court.”
N__B, in exchange for relieving someone on an assembly line for five minutes, I got lower back pain so severe I was sure I had a kidney infection. Three days of muscle relaxants and lying on my side like Cleopatra did the trick and made me believe that that wretched pain actually was caused by five minutes on a stupid assembly line. The indignation, ya’ know?
Back pain is a royal bitch. Hope you find relief soon and figure out what caused it so you can avoid from now on.
I’m guessing the cause is multiple site visits filled with ladders and long walks from subway to construction, all in 90% humidity. But now I’m obsessing about how bad my cleopatra impersonation is.
But now I’m obsessing about how bad my cleopatra impersonation is.
You don’t know your asp from a hole in the ground.
With the right muscle relaxant, anybody can feel like Cleopatra. If there is someone around who can peel a few grapes for you, that helps too; and, of course, palm fans.
To be fair, this is true, if by “set up” you mean “made the central figure in a well-orchestrated prosecution grounded in evidentiary police work and carried out in the boundaries of a common law court”. I mean, I usually do.
Personally, I prefer decadent consumptive 19th-century fop roleplay to go with my mucle relaxants. (One of them I take occasionally for Reasons is evidently genericked as “methocarbamol”, which sounds like something Edwardians would inject into their eyeballs in church.)
Every body weight is cooler when expressed in fractions of a ton. As a great big fatso I have three inches and a little under a hundred pounds on you, and being prematurely arthritic makes that especially fun. Really, if anything the worst that can happen is I have to carry on using my fucked-to-death knees into my seventies, more blown out than DeVeren Bookwalter and Bill Clinton leaning against the side windows of a tipped-over car and audibly creaking with every step. Robot legs now, god damn it!
Also, it’s considered safe to go up to 800 mg (4 typical tablets) of ibuprofen 3 times a day for 3 days without coordinating it with a doctor. Even a small person would have to take like ten pounds of ibuprofen to be killed by it, but especially large or long-term doses can start to cause GI ulcers – not necessarily dangerous, but not considered a great tradeoff in pain terms.
It might do to take a typical dose of ibuprofen (Motrin) or naproxen (Aleve) whether or not it’s actually doing anything for the pain, because bringing down the inflammation is part of the recovery from pinched or irritated nerves and muscle spasms.
A dissociative like dextromethorphan or a depressant might also help deaden the weird burning/tingling pain associated with injuring a nerve, but is probably best avoided if you’re on anything heavy-duty for it like an opioid. Other people swear by depressants: alcohol, cannabis. The warning about drug interaction goes double for alcohol but is less of a worry for pot. IANAD so take with a grain of salt, but I have had a good amount of experience dealing with nasty neuralgia.
Personally, I prefer decadent consumptive 19th-century fop roleplay to go with my mucle relaxants.
Consumptionpunk?
“‘Free’ contraception under this law isn’t really free,” she tells me. “Everyone pays for it.
No, actually: contraception coverage in insurance plans is free, as contraception usage pays for itself in decreased payouts as a result of pregnancy-related ailments, and pregnancy itself.
I have three inches and a little under a hundred pounds on you
That’s the density of a PENIS made of solid gold!
Surely all punk is ultimately consumptionpunk. (Reducing punk boasts to marketese is a fun exercise.)
Some people say it’s unfair; I say they lack the moral fortitude to forge themselves an osmium-alloy penis of their own design, with integrated strontium-90 radioisotope thermal generator / strategic deterrence device, high chrome finish, and fine gold connectors for lossless digital hi-fi.
No, actually: contraception coverage in insurance plans is free, as contraception usage pays for itself in decreased payouts as a result of pregnancy-related ailments, and pregnancy itself.
Now, now… can’t let facts get in the way of one’s martyrdom complex!
N__B, in exchange for relieving someone on an assembly line for five minutes, I got lower back pain so severe I was sure I had a kidney infection.
My father worked in a car factory for almost 20 years. In my last few jobs I’ve toured many food factories. I can tell you that shit is nasty. The people who work there earn every dollar.
The angriest I’ve ever been at a WSJ editorial was some years ago when they were against strengthening OSHA regulations. They sneered about how crybaby workers were hyping their little boo-boos into “bad ergonomics.” You just know the fuckhead who wrote that never did any work harder than lifting a martini or passing a fart.
Also, ergonomics emerges in the first place as a sort of managerialist/rent-seeking counterclaim to laborite demands for better working conditions. “What do you mean, it’s destroying you to screw a nut onto a bolt a thousand times an hour, eight hours a day, five hours a week? We had a consultant in just week and the ergonomics on the wrench mechanism are perfect.”
The Classics, signifigantly improved.
Five days a week, doh. But yeah, amused by the WSJ classically pulling its usual Overton bullshit in treating ergonomics like it’s baby-school hippie nonsense – rather in the same school as libertarian gimmicks fretting about [INSERT LATEST REPUBLICAN POLITICIAN HERE]’s free-market bonafides while supporting them on literally everything, even against their apparent convictions.
Most punks look like they have consumption. They did in my day, I’ll tell you that.
Mimi was a punk, coughing delicately in her Parisian garrett.
I think you’ve make a grievous error. This site is used to classier trolls than this.
Hmm.
Troll says:
Obama favorability at record low 36%
Rasmussen says:
ROVEMATH DETECTED
Race is destiny.
That ANY statistical differences between races are massively dwarfed by differences within them is central to Anon’s point.
Because statistics were actually invented by black Jew liberal lesbians!
GRIDLOCK!
The name of the Aldi-brand substance I mix with my Pearl Vodka!
.
The fact is, The Heartland, mispelling, stilted condescending prose.
Respect the form. Respect yourself.
Also, from waaay upthread:
Emboldening the mormon.
This is the choice for your country
Jesus spoke to me just now, and said you pay men to suck their cocks in bathroom stalls on I-24. Is this true?
.
Which is why statistics are so sexuallistically stimulaaating.
Oh, thank goodness our little buddy didn’t flounce yet.
Yeah, it’s remarkable what
imposing generations of constant war & childhood malnutrition on tens of millions at a timerace will do.Oh, & Iceland’s even MOAR “pure” than Scandinavia, & just look at how awesome THEY’RE doing right now!
How has
… that been working out for you, that whole denial of paying men in interstate restrooms to receive their man-meat into your moist and willing mouth, to completion? And where do you get the funding? Crossroads GPS?
.
Could be, could be. The Pedernales is famous for its rich Yiddish traditions.
And then Pancho Villa will take on Sun Tzu for control of Fargo.
– – – – – –
Entertaining, but surely a parody troll.
Poe’s Law, friend.
Other friend: what has you convinced white people are so fucking great? Have you actually met any? Yeah, yeah, Octavian, Alexander, Beethoven, whatever. You know who surrounded them at all times? White people shitting in their drinking water and wiping their shitty assholes with their hands and then using those hands to eat.
Your commitment to human beings of any kind in the aggregate reveals you to be a sentimental moron. Human beings in the aggregate live and fuck and die in their own shit, always. In 1969 the United States (gloriously balanced in its space program between Jews and old Nazis, with a few swarths for balance) put a human being on the moon, which is so close that a stone hitting one sprays chips on the other – and left a mirror and a flag and their shit. The first man on the moon was white and pissed in his space diaper.
If you count that as a victory, forgive me if I’m careful about which of your hands I shake.
“The point is: why weren’t they in Borneo or some other hell hole where there is at least the chance that they would encounter people that might not have heard their fanciful stories?”
Hell, if Mitt got away with missionarying in Paris, why shouldn’t they get similar breaks?
I am Shoelimpy.
I am back. Remember me?
“I am Shoelimpy.”
Pleased to meet you, pardon the smell.
… you must feel very confused about George Zimmerman.
The only thing that confuses me about Zimmerman is why so many conservatives have rallied around him. The man gives flaky, racist, paranoid, god-bothering, self-absorbed, lying, greedy murderers a bad name. Quite a feat.
The only thing that confuses me about Zimmerman is why so many conservatives have rallied around him.
1. The victim was black, so he was obviously up to no good.
2. The guy with the concealed carry permit is always right.
Shorter AnnoyingMouse:
Democrats going on the offensive scares me because that’s now how I understand American politics. The wealthy are being exposed as greedy tricksters but I was raised to think of them as flawless saint-like figures. Let me ignore 70 years of history to blame all not-white, non-Christians.
Even shorter: blart blart blart
Mestizos will conquer USA and Chinese will conquer Canada, White North America is finished.
But think of the great ethnic food!
But think of the great ethnic food!
As a former resident of the Upper West Side, I have two words: Chino Latino.
If Caucasians become a minority, will that make hamburgers or anything with mayonnaise, an ethnic food?
If Caucasians become a minority, will that make hamburgers or anything with mayonnaise, an ethnic food?
Mexican elotes are ears of corn slathered with mayonnaise. They’re delicious as long as you don’t think about what you’re eating.
They’re delicious as long as you don’t think about what you’re eating.
That’s true of nearly everything I eat or have sex with.
What?
Mexican elotes are ears of corn slathered with mayonnaise.
You can also use sour cream or crema (Mexican sour cream). I make these all the time.
I remove the husk from the corn and put them directly on the grill. Turn them until they’re browned on all sides.
Remove from the grill and dust with salt, some good chili powder and hit them with a squeeze of lime juice.
Finally, slather with sour cream.
It’s messy but wonderful. You’ll ask yourself “Why did I boil this stuff all those years?”
You just don’t care about the poor mutilated earless corns. Monsters.
Chili powder + lime juice + salt = heaven. That’s what I put on mangoes.
(Real ones, of course. The kind you get here, nothing could help.)
That’s true of nearly everything I eat or have sex with.
Just don’t get the two mixed up; it can get messy…or so I hear.
Whoa. The window-licking was strong with that one.
Love love LOVE ones that just keep trying to beat the drum after you burn it to a crisp!
Our cracker superiority must be what explains how we stayed so christly fucking primitive for so long after every other race had already refined & maintained an advanced urban civilization of its own, ne? After all, us oh-so-superior EuroHonkies were still loosely affiliated packs of barbaric sister-fuckers living in huts & worshipping lightning while Arabs were doing algebra & astrology, & whilst Mexico was engineering a fucking floating metropolis … but it all HAS to be nasty liberal lies, it just HAS TO, or Aryan Jesus won’t love them any more!
It’s just so adorably “Zombie-hamster-with-a-wire-jacked-into-the-back-of-its-head” … also gotta love the irony of how racists invariably refute their own presumed superiority the moment their pieholes open.
“MY SUPERIORITY TRUMPS YOUR REALITY! DIE SCHVINEHUNT JUDEN SKUM! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!”
All teh same … I still miss SowellFan. Sniff.
I rely heavily on a few varieties of chili powder. I’ll put it on just about anything.
Michelle Bachmann, after getting a few GOP-fingers wagged in her face, has decided to complete the arcane ritual of merging with Joe McCarthy’s soul.
Think the anon’s off masturbating about how many non-whites died in that Dark Knight movie shooting?
(Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert is first to the post with the moronic WELL IF SOMEONE THERE HAD A GUN HURF BLURF)
Someone DID have a gun there. He shot several people with it.
(Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert is first to the post with the moronic WELL IF SOMEONE THERE HAD A GUN HURF BLURF)
Looks like Tom Tomorrow anticipated such dumb-fuckery.
I heart this thing here so damn much, I wish I could bear its shapeless horrific spawn.
well after some rather lackluster comment threads, i was pleased to see we’re over 190 on this bad boy…and then remembered that a spate of activity usually means a troll infestation…ewwwww…
anyhoo, i dropped in to offer some actual food pr0n
you’re welcome!
Sur-prize! Sur-prize! Sur-prize!
i just literally heard that joke last weekend…
Shalom, gentlemen.
(Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert is first to the post with the moronic WELL IF SOMEONE THERE HAD A GUN HURF BLURF)
if your last name contains ‘gomer’ and you’re from texas, ya gotta bet that 99.9% of anything that comes out of that mouth is going to be moronic…
Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert is first to the post with the moronic WELL IF SOMEONE THERE HAD A GUN HURF BLURF
Now, the pool is on who will be the first to post that it’s all connected to the Fast and Furious scheme to villify the righteous gun owners and Obama himself gave the go ahead while Eric Holder selected the victims.
gosh, i want german chocolate cake right now…i made a red velvet the other night…i don’t get what the fuss is about…
Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert is first to the post with the moronic WELL IF SOMEONE THERE HAD A GUN HURF BLURF
Too bad they were in one of those liberal anti-gun states like………Colorado.
You don’t understand. Each and every one that died last night was a communist Cuban or soviet commando. Everyone only wounded was a East German spy. That was a raid carried out with surgical precision. And not one of those surgeries where they amputate the wrong leg either. That lone hero last night single handedly saved the union. Because Wolverines!
I think the point is that everybody should be armed at all times because you never know when someone with a gun will go crazy like that time the guy cut me off in traffic OH MAN I WISH I HAD A GUN THEN.
Now, the pool is on who will be the first to post that it’s all connected to the Fast and Furious scheme to villify the righteous gun owners and Obama himself gave the go ahead while Eric Holder selected the victims.
I never did trust Vin Diesel.
Guess they didn’t know that gay people also eat chicken.
“OH MAN I WISH I HAD A GUN THEN”
I wish I had this gun I saw in some Vietnam war footage, with thick marijuana smoke coming outta the barrel on account of the dude at the other end blowing it thru
TGIF. I am finding it hard to focus, here.
Guess they didn’t know that gay people also eat chicken.
when i read this the other night i actually wished i had a twitter account so i could publicly rag on them…i see ed beat me to it…also, will not ever ever eat their again…and it seems my suspicion of males with female first names as last names is again correct…
No word on whether that means Chick-fil-A is done donating millions to anti-gay organizations and causes.
highly doubtful…
So aside from listening to mouth breathers claim this incident validates their most atavistic prejudices, is anyone doing anything fun this weekend?
So aside from listening to mouth breathers claim this incident validates their most atavistic prejudices, is anyone doing anything fun this weekend?
we are and we aren’t…my favorite aunt and uncle are coming for the weekend…they are bringing my cousin who was recently widowed, which i told you all the gory details about, so we are verra verra excited to see them…i also have to put in a stint at the county fair , followed by alcohol consumption and then sunday morning hubbkf and i are off to rochester…yes! the long awaited appointment at the mayo is on monday!
No, actually: contraception coverage in insurance plans is free, as contraception usage pays for itself in decreased payouts as a result of pregnancy-related ailments, and pregnancy itself.
Not to mention in preventing the spread of STDs and preventing the sort of plague-level issues that some African countries are going through.
But I guess that’s the point. To make everyone terrified of ever having sex so that their lives will be as miserable as the sort of fuckers who support these laws. Well, that and the hope that this terror-filled landscape will somehow produce more white children to “fight against demographics” and all that bullshit.
Ugh, found some serious troll bait looking around for today’s post (and yes, I’m keeping my eyes open for the return of our latest troll and will clean him up if he becomes a genuine nuisance).
I’ll just quote in full:
The responses of both presidential candidates to the horror in Colorado feel weak to me. They are characteristic of our culture, which treats each of these grostesque acts of mass killing as “tragedies.” The proper response to such an atrocity is rage. It wouldn’t be out of place for the president and the man who hopes to replace him to refer to the shooter as a “monster.” We don’t do that. Instead, we focus on “healing.” We’ve become excellently behaved victims.
Oh, I’m sorry, Mona, if years of losing the gun debate and having anger over brutal murders spun as “cynical exploitation” “trying to take our guns away”. Yeah, it turns out when you beat everyone with a working conscience into submission, all they have left to respond with is weariness and sadness.
On the other hand, it’s a great example of why we should never ever care about their bullshit, because when we act like beat dogs, they whine about us acting like beat dogs and oh noes what does this mean for masculinity and FUCK YOU MONA!
GET ME MY GUN.
The proper response to such an atrocity is rage.
tsam? tsam? bueller?
where’s that boy been btw?
The proper response to such an atrocity is rage. It wouldn’t be out of place for the president and the man who hopes to replace him to refer to the shooter as a “monster.”
The proper response would be gun-control legislation. But no, Mona wants the public response to be just as ineffectual as now, but more rageful. “We’ve become excellently behaved victims,” she laments, without proposing anything but (1) raging at monsters and (2) not healing, which she finds distasteful.
We all know the dude is a monster. Obama is not holding back that word out of consideration for his feelings.
Lots of interesting graphs here and in comments. More than gun control I think a way has to be found for Americans to be less cuckoo.
Less cuckoo, sure, and then I suppose we’d be able to pass gun-control legislation that we would not need.
Ended up leaving a bit of a rant in their comment section.
I don’t usually do that.
This is more or less how she wanted the candidates to respond…well, minus teh gay undertones.
I mean, the obvious solution to a shooting at a movie theater is to roll some tanks down Main Street and shell the bastards until whatever’s left is indistinguishable from unprocessed McNugget mush. Amirite?
I dream of an America where no one has to fear a violent gun attack. I dream of a future where such an attack would be an unthinkable absurdity, a relic of an ancient and long dead past. And I believe we can create this America, not through short sighted gun control legislation, but through the application of massive super engineering and manufacturing. If every patron at the theater last night had been safe in their own Iron-man style powered combat armor, that fusillade of gunfire and tear gas would have been totally useless. Clearly the answer to the problem of gun violence in this country is a super-heroic effort to get each and every American their own custom-fit, climate controlled, atomic powered armor. Flying could be extra.
Golem Heart-
Fuck, not even big gun-control legislation. Just some common sense laws preventing the sale of guns to people riding the slippery slope of sanity of nutjob pier. The sort of thing a sane gun-rights lobby would push for because it would make good PR and prevent most of the “tragic shootings” that always rekindle people wondering why the gun-control debate is so borked in this country.
But no, instead we get the gun-rights lobbies rubbing our faces in the loss with ever crazier bullshit like the Stand Your Ground law.
So, Moana, what exactly would that accomplish? Really.
Also, I haven’t read everything yet but I will say that yes, Chik fil-a donates many milliions to anti-gay groups.
Black people like to shout during movies, but white people like to SHOOT during movies.
Yeah, my niggas know what I’m talkin’ about.
Fuck, not even big gun-control legislation. Just some common sense laws preventing the sale of guns to people riding the slippery slope of sanity of nutjob pier. The sort of thing a sane gun-rights lobby would push for because it would make good PR and prevent most of the “tragic shootings” that always rekindle people wondering why the gun-control debate is so borked in this country.
You’re reminding me of a post I almost made weeks ago, but didn’t because it was off-topic (as if that ever stops me). I work with old papers, and I came across a 1950s print ad for a shotgun, on the back of the intended clipping — for that reason I cannot dig it up. It’s filed under pictures of sailboats or some crap.
Ad copy used to be wordier, in many cases. This ad had 10-12 paragraphs about the type of guy who’d buy the shotgun. Two good-sized paragraphs were devoted to the imaginary guy’s support of sensible gun regulations. I am not fucking kidding. There was a one-sentence caveat that ordinary Joe Shotgun should not have his rights lessened. It got less space than talk of how the civic-minded gun owner stays well-informed.
As I said, I was so shocked that I almost posted about it.
Need to take a rage break in searching for wingnut fodder.
Sorry for the delay.
Any kind of psychological exam for prospective gun owners is an impossibility in this country. It would take a constitutional amendment to make it past the supreme court. Plus, there would have to be regular checkups to make sure the owners haven’t gone insane, or succumbed to dementia or suffered traumatic brain injury. It would be a massive undertaking, how long would it take, and how many trained psychiatrists would it take to interview however many million gun owners there are in the U.S.? You would need a national health care system as a prerequisite for any effort along these lines. What about those who are being successfully treated for mental illness, would they be legal or not? It’s not like the guns would go away when a bipolar gun owner stops taking their lithium.
It’s a shame that testing (and diagnosing and treating) everyone for mental illness is such a toxic idea in the US, there are a lot of people out there who are suffering and could use some help. Plus the massive increase in mental health spending would lead to better treatment.
“We” are not the “victims” here. The people in that theater were the victims and whether they feel rage or not is their prerogative.
Apparently the guy was wearing body armor and armed with an AR-15 and a tactical shotgun, so the hypothetical concealed-carry guy probably wouldn’t have been able to do much anyway.
More than gun control I think a way has to be found for Americans to be less cuckoo.
Not gonna happen, Sub, without something going majorly smash. The great unwashed will just continue American Idoling away.
Newton Minnow was an optimist.
Apparently the guy was wearing body armor and armed with an AR-15 and a tactical shotgun, so the hypothetical concealed-carry guy probably wouldn’t have been able to do much anyway.
Nope. And that’s not the angle that’s going to do anything anyway. It would involve a) having a functional mental health system, and b) its being hella more intrusive than now. Given the current national insanity regarding having to pay for a) while having epileptic fits about non-existent cases of b), I don’t see it happening.
Incidents like this are an inevitable result of “how things are” here in America 2012. That’s the price of having freely available guns AND people left to rot by “society”. Fixing the former would just be a bandage.
Newton Minnow
wasis an optimist..Still alive and kicking. Who knew?
I think you’re right. There are plenty of guns in Canada, but this sort of thing is pretty rare up there.
I can only think of one or two instances like this in Canada, but it seems to be a weekly occurrence here.
I beg to differ, Little Pig. The assumption that a person who goes on a shooting rampage is “mentally ill” adds fuel to the fire that anyone diagnosed as “mentally ill” presents a grave danger to society. It seems evident that someone who would go on a shooting spree is mentally ill, but at some point the designation is really meaningless. The number of people who have committed atrocity ON psychiatric drugs probably exceeds the number who have done so without. Whenever you hear of something like this, be advised that betting the shooter was taking an antidepressant at the time is a pretty safe bet.
The assumption that the mental health community is doing an adequate job of diagnosing and treating mental illness is much too kind. The assumption that mental illnesses are well defined and biologically understood is more than too kind— it’s wrong.
The public response to mass shootings often encourages the psychiatric community and the judicial system to be more intrusive and coercive with people who have been diagnosed as “mentally ill” with the assumption that they are always a danger, when, in fact, the “mentally ill” are far more likely to be the victims of violence and to have long been the victims of violence.
A person who wears armor and arms his/her self then goes into a movie theater shooting is A MASS MURDERER. Whether or not that person is under the influence of drugs, the person has committed mass murder and has joined a very small percentage of the population that is so categorically different from all others. Putting such a person into a population of the chronically distraught is NOT a good idea. The chances that a mental health system could anticipate such behavior are slim, the possibility that it could be prevented is probably close to nil.
Also, the scene that plays out in my head that the wingnuts just can’t come to terms with is:
A lunatic steps into a dark, crowded theater, throws out a couple tear gas cannisters and opens fire. Unfortunately, this guy picked the grand opening of Atlas Shrugged in the middle of Wingnut City, so everyone in the theater is armed. So naturally a wingnut pulls out his gun and starts firing back. Immediately followed by 60 other wingnuts pulling out their guns and firing at whoever they see firing a gun. It would only take a few minutes for all these armed wingnuts to take down all these armed wingnuts and the only one left standing would be the lunatic who had the foresight to bring body armor. Heck, after the wingnuts do all the dirty work for him the lunatic would have plenty of ammo left over to slip into the next theater at the multiplex and start all over again.
Of course, in the wingnut mind, no real American would ever be confused or scared by the dim light, the smoke or the suddem surprise of such and attack. They know that every God-fearing, gun-toting American would automatically target only the bad guy and with pinpoint accuracy find the weakness in the body armor and bring the lunatic down.
It’s fun to think we’re better people – completely true – but apart from the meds we have a less crazy distribution of wealth and a whole lot of cold weather. It’s also fun to pick on the South as uniquely retarded but had the weather been more amenable I would have spent much more of my younger life making trouble downtown.
There were crazy shooters before the drugs. Given the prevalence of SSRI’s I’d expect an army of zombie mental cases to be overrunning America. And, uh… Never mind.
A legendary Althouse Ancident occured just after some of us were being all sensitive about our brains.
The proper response to such an atrocity is rage. It wouldn’t be out of place for the president and the man who hopes to replace him to refer to the shooter as a “monster.”
You know that if Obama had said anything of this sort Mona would complain he “created and manipulated [the narrative] to make political points” and “ginned up the outrage machine” and was a “provocateur.”
I wish I had this gun I saw in some Vietnam war footage, with thick marijuana smoke coming outta the barrel on account of the dude at the other end blowing it thru
I remember seeing that on the CBS Evening News way back when, w/in days of it happening. Was impressed then too.
Regarding the Colorado asshat, I keep telling myself it’s a good thing that the bastard gave himself up without trying to shoot the police.
Yes. A good thing.
So why am I tormented by fantasies about him trying that shit with a SWAT team and getting ventilated?
Two good-sized paragraphs were devoted to the imaginary guy’s support of sensible gun regulations. I am not fucking kidding.
Scan it and post it somewhere! I’d like to see it (and old ads are always interesting to me).
Yeah, rage break, unsuccessful, but at least I have a coherent response to the ghoulishness now instead of a half-formed rant on the OP for wingnuts to tut at and act smugly superior too.
In short:
New post.
“Scan it and post it somewhere! I’d like to see it (and old ads are always interesting to me).”
When I process the collection in earnest, I may be able to do so.
I’m just amazed that nobody else who saw boriscleto’s comment about the serial foot-licker appears to have had the name “Dick Morris” cross eir mind.
I beg to differ, Little Pig
Oh, I never meant it was a *good* solution. Ideally (in that given lousy solution) someone could have said something at a much earlier level and perhaps intervened, but no one can do that now because people get so damn crazy over it “Not my kid. Not that quiet guy.” etc. etc.
The real solution would require most folks to give a rat’s ass about their follow humans. One used to have be a hermit to get so socially disconnected; now folks can pretty much live that way in the middle of highly populated areas. My son does some geek outreach to some pretty troubled young men, and he’s done some kids some real good. The current social model makes a lot of killing inevitable; gun control may help a bit, but prohibition doesn’t work on guns almost as badly as it doesn’t work for Some Drugs. We have to stop leaving people to rot, but as I said to Sub earlier, that isn’t going to happen without something going majorly smash. The mental health approach might mitigate some harm in the current social structure, but it is the structure that is sick, not a hunk of metal.
[…] actually we’d mock it relentlessly because that level of delusional wishful thinking is sort of our bread and butter here on the snark […]
“Being forced to use my money to help pay for contraception violates my conscience as a Catholic and is therefore a violation of my constitutionally guaranteed rights.”
I’m not from the U.S and am entirely too lazy to open a new tab and search for the answer to this question- can you refuse to pay taxes for the military or for executions in states with the death penalty? Those would violate my conscience, admittedly because of any religion, but still. I assume the answer is “no”.
And of course she’s not a missionary in some far flung foreign country- the poor woman can’t be more than ten feet from a toilet at all times.
I mean “not because of any religion”.