Holy shit, the shorter really is his entire piece.

That whole “fat poor people have cellphones!!! can you believe it?” showed up too. I never grow tired of that.

You know, these photoshops are all I’ve ever seen of Tom Sowell, so I’m still not convinced he’s black.

‘Former big-time TV journalist Sam Donaldson and current fledgling CNN host Don Lemon have already proclaimed racism to be the reason for criticisms of Obama, and we can expect more and more talking heads to say the same thing as the election campaign goes on. The word “racism” is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything — and demanding evidence makes you a “racist.”’

And yet, Sowell provides no links as “evidence” of what he just wrote about Donaldson and Lemon………

He’s no Ambrose Bierce thats for sure :

CONSERVATIVE, n.
A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

And yet, Sowell provides no links as “evidence” of what he just wrote about Donaldson and Lemon………

I think he’s going to put in the links after he’s done getting walked by his dog.

That whole “fat poor people have cellphones!!! can you believe it?” showed up too. I never grow tired of that.

It’s almost like they’re cheaper and more useful than landlines or something…

In the political language of today, people who want to keep what they have earned by buying up other companies, gutting them and shipping the jobs overseas while pulling in millions of dollars in “consulting” fees are said to be “greedy,” while those who wish to take their earnings from them and give it to others (who will vote for them in return then possibly eat or retrain to find another job) show “compassion.”

There, I fixed that little mistake in the original.

And yet, Sowell provides no links as “evidence” of what he just wrote about Donaldson and Lemon…

Evidence for thee but not for me.

You know, these photoshops are all I’ve ever seen of Tom Sowell, so I’m still not convinced he’s black.

Good call. The real Thomas Sowell.

From last thread:

I thought I told ya that we won’t stop; I thought I told ya that we won’t stop.

Life in general has never been even close to fair, so the pretense that the government can make it fair is a valuable and inexhaustible asset to politicians who want to expand government.

Indeed! That’s why there aren’t laws or courts or constitutions.

Indeed! That’s why there aren’t laws or courts or constitutions.

I was thinking about this on the way in to work today. The fact that this guy (and his ilk) has a Ph-fucking-D and doesn’t or won’t get this really grinds my gears.

That whole “fat poor people have cellphones!!! can you believe it?” showed up too. I never grow tired of that.

Be fair. He never actually said cellphones. He said “various electronic devices,” which could include those newfangled miniature little “transistorized” radios. And what’s a poor person doing with electricity, anyway?

And what’s a poor person doing with electricity, anyway?

Well, them goddam soshulists and their goddam TVA and such just GAVE it to ’em.

No, all the rural areas of this country have electricity because of the free market, sillies.

I thought I was poor because I had no shoes ’til I met a man with NO FUCKING COMPASSION.

When I was a lad we had to get up in the morning and lick the road clean with our tongues.

Luxury! The road we had to lick wasn’t a road at all, but a pathway of flattened nettles strewn with horseshit.

And when there was no crawdad, we ate sand.

When I was a lad, I had to listen to wingnuts complain about how bad things were when they were lads. NOTHING EVER CHANGES.

No, all the rural areas of this country have electricity because of the free market, sillies.

And why are all these southwestern states around and able to elect the likes of Jan Brewer?

Because magical free market Jebus made water appear in the desert, of course.
~

‘Course we had it tough. Our father would come home from work feed us cold poison and slice us in two with a bread knife then dance about on our graves singing Aleluja.

“Mister, I ain’t got nuthin, but that’s more than you got.”

That’s a quote by a person I shall not name.

Problem is, I think dude has a cell phone, perhaps one of those smarty pants ones with the interwebs all up in it.

“And why are all these southwestern states around and able to elect the likes of Jan Brewer?

Because magical free market Jebus made water appear in the desert, of course.”

Lakeway is a prosperous Austin suburb. The “lake” in “Lakeway” is Lake Travis. Lake Travis is actually a reservoir that was created in the 1930s by the construction of Mansfied Dam. The construction of Mansfield Dam was financed by the taxpayers of Texas and the United States of America. So, naturally, the city of Lakeway is a Republican stronghold….

When I was a kid, I didn’t have a cell phone because there was almost no such thing. This meant that when I was up to whatever shenanigans I was always up to, my parents couldn’t find me or contact me. Those days were HORRIBLE.

Life in general has never been even close to fair, so the pretense that the government can make it fair is a valuable and inexhaustible asset to politicians who want to expand government.

Also, it means that if you want government to be efficient, it had better be on the side of making things even more unfair rather than this unnatural going against the tide the unnatural Democrat Party want.

Did I mention that they were unnatural, and did I remember to dig my elbow into your ribs and say, ‘Huh? Huh?!’

Lakeway is a prosperous Austin suburb. The “lake” in “Lakeway” is Lake Travis. Lake Travis is actually a reservoir that was created in the 1930s by the construction of Mansfied Dam. The construction of Mansfield Dam was financed by the taxpayers of Texas and the United States of America. So, naturally, the city of Lakeway is a Republican stronghold….

Most of the area surrounding Lake Roosevelt (the 110 mile long reservoir created by the Grand Coulee Dam, one of those gumit socalits projects) are a Repig stronghold as well. The majority of them are farmers and ranchers who absolutely rely the Columbia in its current stable state for crop irrigation…

These are also the people who got rid of Speaker Tom Foley and replaced him with a sleazebag divorce lawyer named George Nethercutt. Our current House delegate is that epitome of statesmanship, Cathy McMorris-Rogers.

Lakeway is a prosperous Austin suburb where the bartenders at the club nearly cut through the 1/8″ stainless on the unused double kegerator in the storage room . With razors.

So I have been told.

Lakeway is a prosperous Austin suburb where the bartenders at the club nearly cut through the 1/8? stainless on the unused double kegerator in the storage room . With razors.

Ok, I am not sure what you’re implying here. Is it that they might have been using razors on a horizontal surface away from curious eyes to arrange white powder into straight lines for illicit pharmaceutical reasons?

Is it that they might have been using razors on a horizontal surface away from curious eyes to arrange white powder into straight lines for illicit pharmaceutical reasons? – Helmut Monotreme

Back when I was a kid, if you saw a suspicious white powder, the first thing you’d think of doing was to snort it. Nowadays, that is the last thing you should do.

Hungry people are just fat people who are too lazy to work.

But! But! I thought Obama’s sociamalism destroyed all the jobs?

So which is it?

So Thomas Sowell thinks that kids today should have it just as hard as he had it when he was a kid? I.e. during the Great Depression and when the South he was born into was still segregated de jure? So does Sowell really want us to get back into a Great Depression style economy and for us to bring back segregation? Oh wait a minute … he just might.

At the very least, talk about setting standards: if kids today are not living through the Great Depression as Negroes in the segregated South, then they have it so good they should stop complaining …

Just. Wow.

Also poor people don’t know their place no more. In my day, when we visited them at the rubbish dump, they would be respectful and accept our old sofas with gratitude.

Lake Roosevelt (the 110 mile long reservoir created by the Grand Coulee Dam, one of those gumit socalits projects)

I’ve been to Lake Roosevelt. The water is about 55° F. If Soshulizm worked, that lake wouldn’t be so FUCKING COLD.

If Soshulizm worked, that lake wouldn’t be so FUCKING COLD.

You jes being silly nao. The lake is cold because THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS GLOBAL WARMING. Becuase shut up she explained.

Because too.

I think has made a common mistake in scientific analysis. The temperature of the lake PROVES that there is no global warming.

Marion too

Current Austin temperature: 108
Previous record for this date: 105 in 2009

Nah, no warming goin’ on here.

Sowell: I can remember a time, long ago, when I was hungry in the old-fashioned sense.

…the very, very old-fashioned sense. Like Cthulu.

People who make no provision to feed themselves, but expect others to provide food for them, are those whom politicians and the media refer to as “the hungry.”

This is why I take candy from babies: they haven’t earned it.

Current Austin temperature: 108
Previous record for this date: 105 in 2009

when i was working full time in radio, we had to record times and temps so they could play and it would sound like we were actually there…so, the old guy who owned the station, who was as mayberry as can be, was doing his…he went up to 120…and recorded: ‘it’s 120! that’s fucking hot!’ we let that one ride…cuz if it ever did get that hot, the f word would be the least of our worries…

The word “racism” is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything

Yes, but it’s particularly good on red meat. You know, the kind you and your cracker compatriots keep tossing to the ravenous bigoted masses.

shut up she explained.

Ring Larnder was a genius.

Current Austin temperature: 108
Previous record for this date: 105 in 2009

I think we broke the planet.

This is why I take candy from babies: they haven’t earned it.

Pfft, the REALLY Rand-y take the breast milk.

It’s nice here in Berkeley Springs, W.V.

Cool, breezes, sunshine!

And Bambi.
~

Global warming is not on my side.

Pfft, the REALLY Rand-y take the breast milk.

aaaand the convo comes back around to t-shirts doubling (heh) as bags of tits.

Man, you tell ONE LAME JOKE here and everybody just leaves.

I’m SORRY, OK?

Man, you tell ONE LAME JOKE here and everybody just leaves.

right? and a bag of tits isn’t nearly as shopworn as most of the other sadlyschtick…

Man, you tell ONE LAME JOKE here and everybody just leaves
in anticipation of salted dicks.

Thomas Sowell = Mo shat so well.

Man, you tell ONE LAME JOKE here and everybody just leaves.

If that were the case, Sadly, No! would have been a barren wasteland from the beginning.

If that were the case, Sadly, No! would have been a barren wasteland from the beginning.

Which differs from reality how?

also, too…The word “racism” is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything — and demanding evidence makes you a “racist.”

even though i have spent many years in the foodservice industry, i have never ONCE demanded that i see evidence that ketchup can be put on practically anything…i HAVE seen it put on practically anything and at most i will look askance at a plate now coated in ketchup or make a disparaging remark about ruining a perfect steak with it…so, screw you uncle tom, i’m no racist!

Which differs from reality how?

Fewer zombies (at least since a certain someone has been AWOL).

Fewer zombies (at least since a certain someone has been AWOL).

At 2:00 AM on a hub-turn, freight pilots are indistinguishable from zombies.

The vacant stare, the shambling, the stench.

Cookie monsters.

At 2:00 AM on a hub-turn…

For some reason this put me in mind of a torus spinning somewhere in space. Overexposure to science fiction at a tender age (up to and including yesterday) I suppose.

All those poor/hungry/homeless really just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, swallow down any pride or respect for truth, teach themselves to write conservative redmeat bullshit, and get wingnut welfare jobs at right wing funded shitpiles like the National Review. Follow the obvious path Tom Sowell is laying out for you, people! Jeez.

teach themselves to write conservative redmeat bullshit, and get wingnut welfare jobs at right wing funded shitpiles like the National Review. Follow the obvious path Tom Sowell is laying out for you, people! Jeez.

yeah…it’s not like it’s HARD or anything…

yeah…it’s not like it’s HARD or anything…

I’m not so sure about that. Crapping out the boilerwhingerplate might not be so hard, but making it sound like you mean it is the tough bit. Requires one to put his or her would in a blender.

…

Anyone looking for a change of flavor to their wingnuts should head to LGM: http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/06/the-rage-of-the-true-believer

Its a dame shame that i followed n_b’s advice and went over to lgm…
.
.
that one’s going to crack me up for a bit…

The dame shame was a good one.
…

Its a dame shame that i followed n_b’s advice and went over to lgm…

Holy dammit.

What the fuck does this dude have on the sound thingy whilst ‘arting’? Creed, Lee Greenwood, something subtle?

To specify, one of the last comments at LGM is some guy named James McNaughton who paints crap like Obama tapdancing on white people, or Breitbartolas, teh Elf-Lord of the Short Armed Tribe.

So Thomas Sowell thinks that kids today should have it just as hard as he had it when he was a kid? I.e. during the Great Depression and when the South he was born into was still segregated de jure?

Not quite. While Sowell was born during the Depression, he wasn’t a “young fellow out of work” back then. From his bio, he has to be describing the period between 1947 and 1951. While I’ve no doubt that Sowell worked some shitty, low-paying jobs back then, the country as a whole was doing pretty swell – you could raise a sizable family on a single paycheck. Even Sowell was able to get to college on those bottom-tier jobs.

All that changed in the 80’s, when wages stagnated, jobs disappeared, and the cost of living shot up. Suddenly, a lot of people couldn’t even support themselves on their shitty, low-paying jobs. Clearly, something changed during that period, but damned if I can remember what it was…

Wow, I’d completely forgotten about McNaughton. That was the dude who has all those interactive paintings on his website. BuzzFeed claims he’s turning over upwards of $50,000 per painting, mostly due to Sean Hannity having atrocious taste.

Who knew gouging wingnuts was so lucrative? Hell, I’ll sell some shitty right-wing art if it means I can fund projects I really want to work on.

Who knew gouging wingnuts was so lucrative?

Never heard of P. T. Barnum?

Look at this:

Rick Venema says:
June 26, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Providing an army for the common defense is a basic and legitimate function of the federal government. As to VSU, universities are funded at the State level, just as conservatives advocate.

And actually, Colonial Heights is also not too far from Richmond, and our Southpark Mall is the largest indoor climate-controlled shopping center between Richmond and Rocky Mount. Your lack of knowledge of my hometown is no doubt similar to your lack of knowledge of the Constitution.

Rick Venema
COLONIAL HEIGHTS, VIRGINIA

Andy Kaufman? Is that you?

More OREO hate. Heh.

Oh Hydrox, where are you?

Oreo, selling to Commies!!

Future National Review Writer: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/angry-elmo-impersonator-taken-away-police-183704752.html

Hell, I’ll sell some shitty right-wing art if it means I can fund projects I really want to work on.

Don’t expect us to be character witnesses at your Revolutionary Court trial.

All those poor/hungry/homeless really just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, swallow down any pride or respect for truth, teach themselves to write conservative redmeat bullshit, and get wingnut welfare jobs at right wing funded shitpiles like the National Review. Follow the obvious path Tom Sowell is laying out for you, people! Jeez.

I was going to do that but I had too much self respect, so I became a drug mule instead.

i just made my first ever comment at lgm…i feel positively giddy!

Also, it means that if you want government to be efficient, it had better be on the side of making things even more unfair rather than this unnatural going against the tide the unnatural Democrat Party want.

Did I mention that they were unnatural, and did I remember to dig my elbow into your ribs and say, ‘Huh? Huh?!’

Know what else is “unnatural”?

Wearing clothes and cooking one’s meat!

But hey, if wingnuts want to go “natural-only” on us, they are more than welcome to. I can’t wait to break it to them that mutualism and tendency towards group support have some pretty strong natural evolution arguments for them.

That whole “fat poor people have cellphones!!! can you believe it?” showed up too. I never grow tired of that.

COLOR TELEVISIONS

. I can’t wait to break it to them that mutualism and tendency towards group support have some pretty strong natural evolution arguments for them.

It would be wasted breath. EVILution IS A LIE!

Shorter shorter: Words— don’t trust ’em.

Here is how it will go down in November. First the results from Virginia …

Not quite. While Sowell was born during the Depression, he wasn’t a “young fellow out of work” back then. From his bio, he has to be describing the period between 1947 and 1951. While I’ve no doubt that Sowell worked some shitty, low-paying jobs back then, the country as a whole was doing pretty swell – you could raise a sizable family on a single paycheck.

In the mid-50s the minimum wage was $1 per hour, which in terms of meat and potatoes would buy you roughly what $8.15 would buy you now. Then as now it was fairly ineffective, mostly being raised at irregular intervals to avoid the embarassment of a “minimum” wage too low to buy dinner.

The other salutary effect is flattening entry-level and unskilled pay discrimination – without a minimum wage market minima sink to one level for white men and another for others. In effect, American-style (i.e. unlivably low) minimum wage laws are civil rights legislation disguised as economic justice legislation.

Indeed! That’s why there aren’t laws or courts or constitutions.

Right?! The man goes from “life isn’t fair!” to “It’s not fair that the government takes so much of my hard earned money and gives it to lazy people!” without seeing a contradiction.

Here’s my bias: When you say “Life’s not fair!” to somebody you are being an asshole.

Think back to the people who said that to you: How many of them never complained about anything?

What you really mean when you say that is “Stop whining, cunt!” You’re saying, “Life should be fair, yes, but what you’re complaining about isn’t as unfair as you think, and you annoy me so damn much that I can’t bring myself to do anything but dismiss you with a ‘fuck off!'” but apparently if you said that you’d feel like a jerk, and I guess saying “Life’s not fair!” makes people feel sage and wise or something.

“You know, these photoshops are all I’ve ever seen of Tom Sowell, so I’m still not convinced he’s black.”

– Bozo the Cocksucker

Track down his shitty book “Marxism”; he’s on the back of the slipjacket.

Reading Sowell on Marxism is like reading the average troll on sex. I prefer informed sources.

I guess saying “Life’s not fair!” makes people feel sage and wise or something.

To that point–if by “life” we mean the universe, then life is absolutely fair. It’s people that aren’t fair, not life. Life treats everyone exactly the same–and that really fucks with the human ego, which demands that life treat humans differently than everything else.

Look at the concept of “revenge.” A bear eats some fucker in a state park, and we have to go kill that bear because “it now has a taste for human flesh” or some bullshit, when really it is revenge for an ANIMAL daring to treat a HUMAN like food.

My take is that when people complain that “Life isn’t Fair” what they really mean is that “Life isn’t unfair in a way that favors me and mine over everyone else.”

To clarify what I just posted, I’m not against laws and regulation and such. In my mind the entire purpose of civilization is to rig the system to be as unfair in favor of humankind as we can.

I’m just saying it is a constant battle, and we’d better all pull together if we really want to beat the House.

Look at the concept of “revenge.” A bear eats some fucker in a state park, and we have to go kill that bear because “it now has a taste for human flesh” or some bullshit, when really it is revenge for an ANIMAL daring to treat a HUMAN like food.

Sharks, on the other hand, take things personally.

Who doesn’t have a taste for human flesh? It’s heavily flavored with MSG, triglycerides, and beer.

Who doesn’t have a taste for human flesh? It’s heavily flavored with MSG, triglycerides, and beer.

To get the best flavor, you should season yourself with bath salts before dining.

Since this is an election year, we can expect to hear a lot of words – C. Thomas Sowell

As opposed to the word-free years we usually endure? God, what an asshole.

Since this is an election year, we can expect to hear a lot of words – C. Thomas Sowell

Mini__B talks nonstop, but it is entirely gibberish except for two or three words. If I can get him a wingnut welfare gig, I can retire.

You know…. he kind of looks more sympathetic in the photoshop than in the profile pic on Nattyreview..

see if you can find the PENIS in today’s comics curmudgeon…

You know…. he kind of looks more sympathetic in the photoshop than in the profile pic on Nattyreview..

his nro pic makes him look like a tool from the 70s…

see if you can find the PENIS in today’s comics curmudgeon…

Why do I hear “two inches more” in the voice of Mr. Creosotes waiter saying “It’s was-fer thin…”?

Mini__B talks nonstop, but it is entirely gibberish except for two or three words. If I can get him a wingnut welfare gig, I can retire.

I’m willing to bet he already makes more sense than Sowell or anything Breitbart ever wrote.

Why do I hear “two inches more” in the voice of Mr. Creosotes waiter saying “It’s was-fer thin…”?

because your mind…it works in mysterious ways…

I’m willing to bet he already makes more sense than Sowell or anything Breitbart ever wrote.

His point is always clear and pertinent to current events in his world, even if the words are gobbledygook. And he confines his shitting to easily-cleaned areas of his diapers and potty.

And he confines his shitting to easily-cleaned areas of his diapers and potty.

this must be drummed out of him if you wish him to be a success in the wingnut welfare ranks…

he confines his shitting to easily-cleaned areas of his diapers and potty.

You’re going to have to work on that to get him on the wingnut welfare gravy train. I suggest you start him out with smearing it across the walls at Chez __B. He can expand from there.

DAMN YOU BBKF!

DAMN YOU BBKF!

omg…i’ve never gotten to the joke first!!! i’m…i’m…honored…you like me! you really, really like me!!!

you like me! you really, really like me!!!

Well either that or* you type faster (and more succinctly) than me. DAMN YOU AGAIN!1!

.

.

* yeah, I like you. Plz keep it on the DL.

i have a feeling you think it’s a dame shame that i can type faster and am more brevious than yourself…

yes, i am going to savor it now, because it will never happen again…

It’s always the glasses-wearing nerdlinger in the office who’s the first to clue you in on how to use cutting-edge high-tech stuff like “Google search” for work.

Cue Pol Pot…

During their four years in power, the Khmer Rouge overworked and starved the population, at the same time executing selected groups who had the potential to undermine the new state (including intellectuals or even those that had stereotypical signs of learning, such as glasses) and killing many others for breaching even minor rules. If caught, offenders were taken quietly off to a distant forest or field and killed.

P.S. I know, two more inches, etc. I’m leaving the low-hanging fruit for the others.

😉

leaving the low-hanging fruit…

Wait a minute. There’s a Google search?

I’m leaving the low-hanging fruit for the others.

Where’s the Pupienus signal? I understand he’s into low hanging fruit.

Wait a minute. There’s a Google search?

Here, let me help.

Where’s the Pupienus signal?

In the form of a low-hanging-fruit bat?

“You’d need another foot for that”

Jesus Christ! What kind of size queens do that have in Milford, anyway?

Where’s the Pupienus signal? I understand he’s into low hanging fruit.

Fruits, actually. I had a dream of opening a chain of leveling clinics in California. Id get rich guaranteeing perfectly even hangers, at your desired level be it low dangling or high and tight. *sigh*. Some dreams just aren’t meant to be.

Some dreams just aren’t meant to be.

As with Sowell, some dreams are destroyed when they run aground on the rocks (heh) of reality.

I thought the Joe Dimaggio/hamburger thing was an exaggeration. I should know better than to not trust the shorter.

Battle stations, liberals! Conservatives have found out about our plan to make major league baseball players buy poor people their food!

I’m guessing that Joe Dimaggio paid significantly higher taxes back in Sowell’s day than his MLB equivalent does today.

Jesus Christ! What kind of size queens do that have in Milford, anyway? – Little Pig

Did you mean to post this to the Comics Curmudgeon? Now to go there and see what hubbub has started because you posted the comment you meant for Sadly, No! over there … 😉

To get the best flavor, you should season yourself with bath salts before dining.

You should never bathe in an Irish stew,
it’s a most illogical thing to do.
But if you persist, despite my reasoning,
Remember to add the appropriate seasoning.

I’m guessing that Joe Dimaggio paid significantly higher taxes back in Sowell’s day than his MLB equivalent does today.

Where has he gone?

Spike Milligan

You silly twisted boy.

Well, he had a steakhouse out in North Austin, but it has left and gone away.

i’m…honored…you like me! you really, really like me!!!

Whoa, whoa, hold yer horses, now…

But we’ve turned our lonely eyes to him. mim mim mim…

MANGO HUNT!!!

Common sense, a term also with a vague definition, for the left it is congruent with their opinion on matters, for me it is, and has been since I was a kid, Thomas Sowell.

that explains your totally craptastic writing style…

Whenever as a child I complained about something not being fair, my parents, now ages 77 and 78, reminded me that “Fair is for Communists.” I don’t think that the argument against both the term and the concept could be made any more succintly or eloquently than that.

what a fun, care-free childhood this one must have had!

Much as I have always admired your work, Mr Sowell, this article especially pleases me, in your lack of envy.

‘kay, now this one is just creepy…

Great article as always Dr. Sowell! You might consider writing your own dictionary with the updated definitions of these and other words, because you very accurately defined the modern understanding of each.

Under ‘fairness’, you might add that it is also the rallying cry of liberals and spoiled children; in that, I think I may have provided an example for the definition of the word ‘redundant’.

oh my gosh! stop…my side! it aches from laffter!

Dr Sowell’s words never cease to inspire me.
and
I always love Dr. Sowell’s articles, but this one made me smile.

what kind of bitter, twisted world do these two live in that they find inspiration and joy in uncle tom mocking the poor and the hungry?

Keeping it classy, Minnesota style.

http://i.imgur.com/vowai.png

Keeping it classy, Minnesota style.

hey, now! what i don’t get is why are they always singling out the men? is it because lesbian sex is so hawt? you just never seem to hear any mention of that…

you know what else i don’t get? how come yesterday, when i was organizing my new desk, i decided i didn’t need the entire container of staples in my drawer and i put them in the supply room…and now today, when i wanted to use my stapler? THERE WEREN’T ANY GODDAMN STAPLES IN IT?!

That’s the stapler principle at work. It’s actually universal. You finally get around to throwing some _thing_ from your closet / workshop / garage / junk drawer after not using it for ten years and BANG next day you need it.

“Do you know what I read in Cosmopolitan? That there are women who are homosexual persons.”

“Come on, what kind of garbage is that, what kind of crap is that-?”

“Jack, please, I’m not making it up. I read it in Cosmo! I’ll show you the article!”

“Come on, they print that stuff for the circulation………………”

Is it my fault that I happen to be a lesbian trapped in a man’s body?

Is it my fault that I happen to be a lesbian trapped in a man’s body?

I was about to complain that that’s my schtick but a quick search of the Sadly Archives indicates this is just yet another shopworn joke. Many have made the joke before me, many more will after. Nothing is new under the sun.

THERE WEREN’T ANY GODDAMN STAPLES IN IT?!

Somehow empty staplers are more infuriating than any other office gizmo. I EXPECT my computer to fail.

Conservatives have found out about our plan to make major league baseball players buy poor people their food!

With the season the Cubs are having, they owe me a year’s worth of steak dinners.

With the seasoncentury the Cubs are having, they owe me a year’s worth of steak dinners.

FTFY

Mssr. Sowell circa 1789: A few million French peasants begging for one sou each is more greed than King Louis and Marie Antoinette wanting to keep their jewels and palaces. Hungry peasants? Let them eat cake! (cue chopping sound in 3,2,1…)

With the seasoncentury the Cubs are having, they owe me a year’s worth of steak dinners.

With all the time they’ve spent in the cellar, they should at least have found you some good wine by now.

Just read Scalzi’s new book. It features badgers. Man eating mustelids.

That is all.

Badgers. Is there anything they can’t do?

I have had it with the damn staplers in the office where I am doing part-time temping at the moment. Evil little fuckers. They either get the vapours about having to staple more than 2 pieces of paper together or they try to make pretzels out of the staples in the barrel bit. How difficult can it be to make a dependable stapler that can staple 5, yes 5 (gasps, lies down on fainting longue) bits of paper together. The stapler I stole from my last workplace is much better.
We wouldn’t have beaten the Nazis with such crappy office products!!!

Go stalkers!

The next version of Android will include a smart personal assistant called Google Now that makes assumptions about information users want to find, based on highly personal data like their search history, calendar, location and even location history.

Hear me now. When Google starts asking whether or not I have clean undies on, I am leaving Googlopolis.

So, um, AK?

Uh, what kinda panties you got on?

I mean, asking for a friend, y’know.

Stout canvas jodhpurs with pressure seams, Google.

yet another shopworn joke
Not just here. Although the last guy I heard say that in meatspace was in drag.

I have two boxes (5,000 each) of STAPLES staples, & expect them to last me the remainder of my life.

Tough week. Broken scooter, borrowed car, money woes and work, work, work.

At least I finally got some sleep.
.

Completely OT, but New Zealand High Court finds Kim Dotcom search warrants illegal*. Sometimes I still love my country.

* File-sharing: still profoundly wrong.

Android knows your darkest secrets. It knows you like scat porn.

Android knows your darkest secrets.

Open the iPod-bay doors, Hal.

I’m afraid I can’t do that, Ned.

Bitter Scribe said,
June 27, 2012 at 18:22

Wait a minute. There’s a Google search?

When I was a young man, walking to work to avoid having to beg food from Dave Winfield, we used Alta Vista for our searches! That was before you weakkneed liberals took over everything with your “fairness” and your “google”.

Ha! NewsCorp is splitting in two. FoxNews will be in the part described as “entertainment.”

Go stalkers!

Meh. Google probably already know what kind of panties you’re wearing. They helped you get a deal on them, remember?

What strikes me as more insidious is how Google tailors search results based on previous searches – omitting what it assumes you don’t want to see. Are you a liberal or a conservative? If so, & you always use Google to look stuff up, you’re getting a logorithmically narrowed-down menu of data that’s more likely to be selling you an agenda you already agree with – & MUCH less likely to challenge your perspective. Congratulations: you have been Bubbled.

I rate for DuckDuckGo … zero search history, & it generally still gives you an option to search using Google. Do a search there & then do the same search on Google, & see what the latter omits.

I rarely use Google any more.

Google probably already know what kind of panties you’re wearing.

As we’ve discussed, that’s only for the comfort.

Breaking: Supremes uphold ACA.

Breaking: Supremes uphold ACA.

Balloon Juice much slower to load than usual, and now temporarily unreachable, no doubt owing to the number of people coming to celebrate.

Eh. The mandate wasn’t and isn’t enough, but it’s still better than nothing, and the rest of the law was worthwhile as well. Good work, Supremes.

welp, thats it. obammy is going to force health care down all of our collective throats.

Breaking: wingnuts discover secret coven of Satanist Marxist neo-nazi pedophiles on Supreme Court.

I want to see video of Fat Tony making his dissent. He must be in conniptions.

I didn’t think Roberts had it in him.

Now that we’re officially a communist country, can I get my very own hot Siberian chick? Oh wait…

I got mine and I have no idea what to do with her. Do I need to put her in the freezer?

Oh Jennifer? Hope you don’t mind if I take this opportunity to link to your post from the day health care reform actually passed; it summarizes my present state of happiness rather splendidly.

rofl

I got mine and I have no idea what to do with her.

Douse her with vodka.

Duh.

Combined with the CU opinion, Roberts is making sure that it is Kennedy, not Roberts, who will be remembered as this generation’s Roger Taney.

Douse her with vodka.

And what will I drink? Water? Can’t get drunk on that. YOU FOOL!

And what will I drink?

The runoff.

DUH-DUH!

Def throw her in the freezer, that way when you use her head to hold your beer she’ll keep it cold.

Douse her with vodka THEN throw her in the freezer. Vodka is best served ice cold.

Nothing is new under the sun.

What about puppies and bath salts? HMMMMM?

Android knows your darkest secrets. It knows you like scat porn.

Meh. “Psychics” know you had a relative that died…

And what will I drink? Water? Can’t get drunk on that. YOU FOOL!

Not ALL of the vodka. You need a care and feeding manual for Siberian pornstar mail order bride torture victim trophies.

Oh sure. I show up after a short hiatus and everyone scatters like roaches when you flip the lights on…

I have had it with the damn staplers in the office

i originally read this as spiders, not staples…

I think everyone is out and about sampling the sweet wingnut tears. I may have to put together a flight for my lunch.

Eh. The mandate wasn’t and isn’t enough, but it’s still better than nothing, and the rest of the law was worthwhile as well. Good work, Supremes.

yes…now if the gop would quit their fricking whining and threats to repeal the decision (i didn’t realize that was possible…i thought the supreme was…well, supreme…hmm, perhaps my mom’s asshat husband is right and i DID get a crappy edumacation…or perhaps i simply didn’t pay attention in class, idk) and just see their way clear to help fix the fucker so it’s good for everybody…yeah, yeah i know i’m living in a dream world…but a girl has to dream, doesn’t she?

Now, now little one. Just because the supremes ruled the way you wanted them to rule doesn’t mean the Righteous Republicans can’t try to repeal obammycare.

HA HA…

Good Mornin’, Sadlynaughts! Ain’t it just a lovely mornin’.

Why yes. Yes it is a lovely mornin’. No matter how wrong I am about, well, everything, I still get paid a bag o’ tits load of money!

It’s time once again to play Name That Whingnut!

This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration.

Name that whingnut!

Name that whingnut!

The completely over-the-top hyperbole screams Virgin Ben. (Who I doubt would ever be top…)

This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration.

I thought the Patriot act and that most recent NDAA bill that lets the president kill American citizens if he has a notion they might be terrorists was the greatest destruction of individual liberty since …the last outrage the right wing has pushed through congress. Or if they are restricting themselves to supreme court decisions, how bout the ones that prevent torture victims from suing the govt on the grounds of national security? Anyway, congratulations to those speculators that doubled down on health insurance stocks recently, I’m sure you’ll make a shit ton of money.

Congratulations Marion in Savannah! Here’s bbkf with your prize, a mega bag-o-tits! Let’s give Marion a hand everybody!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! The mega bag-o-tits will come in handy, as long as they’re not as aged and saggy as the ones I have hanging around.

but wait, that’s not all! marion in savannah will also receive a BRAND NEW (well, slightly used) STAPLER!!!

YOWZA! That means I can replace the one I struggle with that either folds the staples into pretzles, jams up trying to spit out two at a time, or refuses to deal with more than 2 sheets of onion skin. WHEE!!! I’m a WINNAH!

Lovin’ those NRO mangos … the Dredd Scott analogies are thick as ticks on a moose’s arse.

Also, apparently the conservative movement died today, along with America itself.

PICS OF JUBILANT IRANIANS BURNING OLD GLORY OR GTFO

Also, apparently the conservative movement died today, along with America itself.

Are they shooting at Fort Sumter again?

Are they shooting at Fort Sumter again?

Not yet, I don’t think. However, there’s a low, almost subsonic, pulsatile moaning that started about two and a half hours ago that is slowly building in intensity…

If the conservative movement died today I’m gonna have to go out and find a Siberian temptress to chill and pour vodka over.

This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration.

America literally exploded into a billion shards of PERMAFAIL, impossible to fix no matter how many votes you cast for Romney! No hyperbole!

America literally exploded into a billion shards of PERMAFAIL, impossible to fix no matter how many votes you cast for Romney! No hyperbole!

Man, I hope a lot of them believe this. We could sure use wingnuts staying at home to offset all the votes they’re in the process of suppressing.

“Not yet, I don’t think. However, there’s a low, almost subsonic, pulsatile moaning that started about two and a half hours ago that is slowly building in intensity…”

Are you sure thats not Sowell (from pic above)?

Are you sure thats not Sowell (from pic above)?

this made me laff in a most juvenile way…

Man, I hope a lot of them believe this. We could sure use wingnuts staying at home to offset all the votes they’re in the process of suppressing.

“If you have to stop people from voting to win elections, your ideas suck.” – some guy the other day

Over at fear republic they are very busy figuring out furiously dreaming up what Oberfuhrerbama had on Justice Roberts. What did they threaten him with?

Over at fear republic they are very busy figuring out furiously dreaming up what Oberfuhrerbama had on Justice Roberts. What did they threaten him with?

the pile of dead bodies will grow apace, i imagine…

Over at fear republic they are very busy figuring out furiously dreaming up what Oberfuhrerbama had on Justice Roberts. What did they threaten him with?

Giving him an even more boring name?

This conservative argument that Obama et al. lied about the nature of the ACA and sold it under false pretenses is just precious.

ACA supporters have not placed rhetorical emphasis on what turned out to be justice Roberts’ pivotal distinction — the penalty-as-tax. So what? If the use of selective and shifting rhetorical emphases is precisely the same thing as lying, what shall we conclude about Romney? Boehner, McConnell, ad infinitum?

Mmmmmm. It’s nice to wake up to the sweet sound of wingnut anguish. Time for a nice steaming cup of schadenfreude.

If the conservative movement died today I’m gonna have to go out and find a Siberian temptress to chill and pour vodka over.

Hands of Mrs__B!

Off, too.

Mango from fearperville:

… it also completes our transformation to a socialist nation.While Congress continuously snipped back and forth regarding a variety of issues, President Obama and his cast of Czars (fitting term) …

Neutron star denseness.

You’ve heard for years about “rotten Mangoes”, but have you actually seen one?

http://elections.nytimes.com/2012/live-coverage/scotus-healthcare#963f8c1d3

Oh, hey, Dennis? Because I know you’re lurking….

NAH NAH NAH NAH! NAH NAH NAH NAH! HEY HEY HEY! GOODBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE!

There is a lot of butthurt out there today.

I saw a sign by an ACA supporter that said “This is a big f****** deal!”. Made me chuckle.

… it also completes our transformation to a socialist nation.

what don’t they get about ‘this is good for private insurance companies as well as the *non-profit* ones?!?!?!?!?

So if we’re commies now, do I get one of those big fur hats?

I suppose I could have Pookie-Cat just curl up on top of my head.

I suppose I could have Pookie-Cat just curl up on top of my head.

I’m sure that’s fun, but don’t knock hot Siberians until you’ve tried one.

“What did they threaten him with?”

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is making this claim. That somehow Obama threatened Roberts with his legacy being seen as a “kook Supreme Court.” He says that he doesn’t actually believe all this. He is just passing it along as “speculation”.

… it also completes our transformation to a socialist nation.

They’ll stop their moaning once they get their government-provided cake and ice-cream.

In case anyone’s interested I rubbed one out right before my trek to Rhode island.

Better to die free than live with health care!

I’m sure that’s fun, but don’t knock hot Siberians until you’ve tried one.

Back in the Cold War I was always hoping to run into the hot Russian spy that would trade me sex for secrets. If I was really lucky she’d have to torture it out of me.

Never could find her dammit.

Back in the Cold War I was always hoping to run into the hot Russian spy that would trade me sex for secrets. If I was really lucky she’d have to torture it out of me.

Never could find her dammit.

I really wish VS hadn’t mentioned rubbing one out right before we start discussing Natasha Fatale: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natasha_Fatale

There is a lot of butthurt out there today.

I know. Isn’t it beautiful? Especially because of the way they’ve been gloating for days now about how they just knew it was about to be overturned, and all our efforts would be for naught, and Obama would be a lame duck president, etc etc etc.

Sorry assholes, but Truman beat Dewey after all. Again. Your move.

funny, when I rub one out the result isn’t quite as captivating.

I want to post Jennifer’s graphic everywhere.

I know. Isn’t it beautiful?

I was listening to Glenn Beck at the time and he was apoplectic. Let out one of those thin, strangled cries he’s so good at faking.

Louie “world’s stupidest Texan” Gohmert:
Rep. Gohmert calls for Kagan impeachment

Rush says: It’s a TAX!!! The largest tax in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!”

Yes, beautiful.

Well, should be a fun flight to Memphis tonight with my self-proclaimed libertarian Captain.

‘natch said,
June 28, 2012 at 20:41

funny, when I rub one out the result isn’t quite as captivating.

Thanks! Now everybody go out and make beautiful art with your bodily fluids!

Well, should be a fun flight to Memphis tonight with my self-proclaimed libertarian Captain.

Air traffic control is theft!

noen: I can’t watch videos at work. What reason did Gohmert have for demanding Kagan’s impeachment, other than that she’s a Democrat?

Major Kong is he really just a conservative republican who doesn’t want the stigma?

Major Kong is he really just a conservative republican who doesn’t want the stigma?

No, to his credit he seems to be one of those that really does hate the Republicans as much as the Democrats.

Nice guy for the most part. I just have to steer the conversation away from politics. “Hey, how about those __________ name of some sports team goes here?”

Shorter Rand Paul: The Supreme Court doesn’t get to decide what’s unconstitutional.

I wish I was lying: http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/rand-paul-just-because-scotus-says-it

The constitution can’t fail, it can only be failed.

Shorter Rand Paul:

You know we’re through the looking glass when the Roberts court is the voice of reason in the room.

“What reason did Gohmert have for demanding Kagan’s impeachment, other than that she’s a Democrat?”

He thinks she lied and should have recused herself because he thinks she work on the health care bill when she worked for Obama even though she says she didn’t.

This is his plan for getting it repealed — by having the decision vacated.

Srmt, very very smrt.

oh no part of your comment was disemvowele!ed! I hardly found it trollish.

The stapler I stole from my last workplace is much better.

AK IS LUMBERGH!!!

If the healthcare bill weren’t such a Heritage Foundation/GOP piece of shit, I’d be jumping for joy at the discomfiture of wingnuts.

The tribble on Randy Paul’s head WAS ruled unconstitutional.

I guess the fact that it was Roberts who became the deciding vote is what’s throwing them. They can’t blame the “swing voter” and there certainly wasn’t enough liberals; and eventually the “Justice Roberts is a traitor” line is just going to get monotonous (it’s already a silly premise as is). We’ll see how much this “Obama lied about it not being a tax!” mantra will last (the thing with that is, the SCOTUS has a different interpretation than the POTUS; that tends to happen in court decisions. Doesn’t make either side right or wrong, and it’s basically the logic behind the ruling, not the ruling itself).

Moreover, the ruling says that for intents and purposes Obamacare = Romneycare. Romney can’t claim credit without pissing off the base, and denouncing it will just confuse people who see the connection between the two (ala, “Hey John, did you get offshored or outsourced?”).

In other words: expect more lying from Rmoney, and more dumbfuckery from the GOP-controlled House.

If the healthcare bill weren’t such a Heritage Foundation/GOP piece of shit, I’d be jumping for joy at the discomfiture of wingnuts.

Many millions more people will now have access to health insurance that had not been able to afford it, if they’d been offered a policy at any price. Hundreds of billions in annual subsidies to lower and middle income Americans, a ban on pre-existing condition exclusions and rescissions, medical loss ratios limiting how much profit insurance companies can gouge out of us, mandatory coverage of preventative care like birth control, the ability of parents to keep their kids on their policies untIl they’re 26. A massive expansion of Medicaid. We’re going to see a drastic reduction in bankruptcies caused by medical bills. These things are not elements of a Republican’s wet dream. Neither is the mandate when it’s combined with all the other elements of the bill. The GOP has controlled the White House and both houses for long periods of time in recent history, but they’ve taken no steps to implement anything like the ACA when they’ve had the opportunity to do so. We should ignore all that and focus on the fact that the mandate was first mentioned in a Heritage Foundation paper in 1989 in chacterizing the bill?

Do you have health insurance? If so, that product you’re already paying for before the mandate is law is going to be a lot more beneficial to you than it would have been if the wingnuts had gotten their way today and that “Heritage Foundation/GOP piece of shit” had been struck down today. If not, this is even better news for you, so go ahead and celebrate wingnut tears. They’re well earned.

We’re going to see a drastic reduction in bankruptcies caused by medical bills

this is the thing that terrifies me…we’ve already had to lay out quite a bit of money for hubbk’s troubles so far, and along with my diabetes, we pay out a hefty sum for premiums AND still have to pay to see the doc, etc. i was just down at the drugstore picking up some test strips and ran across a buddy of ours…he’s a single dad with three kids and has been having some problems with one of his legs…upshot is he has blood clots…can’t work, doesn’t have insurance…unemployment won’t pay him any longer (he’s a seasonal worker) he’s had mris and lots of other spendy tests, injections and drugs…what’s he supposed to do? i’m worried for him and want to help, but i can barely afford to take care of us…

i can’t imagine the stress and frustration of going through bankruptcy due to health circumstances beyond your control…it shouldn’t have to happen…

one l two ns:

Rep. Michele Bachmann said on Wednesday that if the Supreme Court strikes down all of President Barack Obama’s health care law, it would prove that he has “wasted the country’s time.”

“If it’s tossed out in total, then I think it’ll be very clear that the president has wasted the country’s time — his signature issue as president over three and a half years on an unconstitutional program, when we could have actually been dealing with the problems of health care,” the Minnesota Republican told Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren.

o rly?! who’s been wasting time? wait…what? i can’t hear you, crazy lady!

Asked whether the Republican Party will immediately begin putting together a new health plan and work with Democrats if the legislation is struck down, Bachmann responded, “Of course we will,” adding that she and South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint are circulating a letter in Congress telling states not to implement health care exchanges.

oh, uh-huh…

But if the legislation is upheld, the congresswoman warned that her party’s opposition to the law will only grow louder.

“You’re going to see one unified voice … I believe that will even include the Republican nominee for president, Mitt Romney, that we still stand for full-scale repeal of Obamacare,” she said. “We won’t stand for that. That’s going to hurt everyone. So we are standing and we’re going to continue to fight for free-market health care to bring the costs down so more people can have access to better quality care.”

oh, yes i bet you will get louder…and shriller…and crazier…and also, wtf does her last three sentences mean? i lost my wingnutteer decoder ring…

wtf does her last three sentences mean?

Rnning it through my sekrit decoder ring gives “Bargle blat SOCIALEST foot stool zaaaaip FREEDUM omelette carport.”

The tribble on Randy Paul’s head WAS ruled unconstitutional.

Tribble, headcrab…it’s a fine line.

What reason did Gohmert have for demanding Kagan’s impeachment, other than that she’s a Democrat?

Because Scalia should get EVEN MOAR votes.

we’re going to continue to fight for free-market health care to bring the costs down so more people can have access to better quality care

Well of COURSE companies whose entire purpose is maximizing profits by providing the least possible care at the highest possible cost to the consumer will bring health care costs down and improve the quality of care!

Good Mornin’, Sadlynaughts! Ain’t it just a lovely mornin’.

Up yours, n*****