Mars Needs Mara
Posted on May 9th, 2012 by Tintin
ABOVE: Mara Zebest
Shorter Mara Zebest, The American Übermenschen:
Strange Anomalies in the Famous Situation Room Photo
- They had to photoshop Obama into the Situation Room photo where he was allegedly watching the Seals kill bin Laden because in fact he was at that very moment on Mars getting ready to get in his time machine in order to take his fake photoshopped birth certificate back to 1961.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Oh that’s crazy! He wasn’t on Mars, he was getting hit by a bus at the time. Although, the fact that he got up and walked away is further proof that he’s an alien.
I didn’t know that Lily Tomlin was a wingnut.
Why is my dentist on the right? IT’S A CONSPIRACY!
Which one is Mara? The Mewt-ant on the right? I’ll have to ask the Interociter.
Ummm…yeah…
FYWP: Interociter
Is that Mara, or Lily Tomlin as Mrs Judith Beasely?
Oh, and kudos and damnations, Oregon Beer Snob, for beating me to an interociter mention: I was going to go with something on the order of ‘…but at least the Interocitor Project’s got funding now.’
goddammit…i just got caught up with the LAST post!
Hey, nice interociter you got there buddy!
From the link posted by S McG:
In my experience the (Jewish) people most likely to talk about “why black people [are] so angry” or otherwise complain about “blacks blaming racism for everything” are (1) the least likely to have experienced any actual anti-Semitism in their lives but yet (2) are the most paranoid about it (i.e. if you agree with the Labor party rather than the Likud, you must be some self-hating Jew or anti-Semite).
An simple explanation in comic form, of the entire raison d’être of the anti-gay-marriage (fuck off North Carolina!) thing.
Kernersjpeg experts are GO!“Nathan Pizzo”
“redstater”
“Timboalogo”
“An simple” WTF? I need to wake up.
Used to be you had be an intern to see this much psychosis first hand.
PENIS! (sorta NSFW if W is offended by cartoon penises).
From the comments:
This is an OBVIOUSLY modified photo, and it would be very simple for an expert such as myself to…
Discussion topic: Has anyone who has ever written or uttered the phrase “an expert such as myself” in a non-ironic sense ever been an expert in anything?
Used to be you had be an intern to see this much psychosis first hand.
At this rate I’ll be the President of the American Psychological Association by next week.
Staying in the boat…staying in the boat…
I really can’t understand the psychosis over Obama, to them everything he does is a fraud or hoax. I understand all the talk about racism and tribalism, the thin is I just can’t get my head around the attitude that Obama is somehow evil.
I couldn’t stand W or Reagan but even then it wasn’t such a visceral hatred like they have for Obama. Even the anti-Clinton rhetoric didn’t go this far.
I guess it’s because I actually want America to succeed.
I hope everyone follows the link. The illustrations are a lot of fun and a good conspiracy-Photoshop template.
Actually he was infiltrating a terrorist cell in Yemen that week. The time machine is next Tuesday.
Operations “Full Fontal Stupidity” is a go!
There was STARK LIGHTING ON A SHIRT! FAKE FAKE FAKE
Clearly they photoshopped the tribal head dress and nose-bone offa Obama. They also shopped out the bloody knife he just used to dismember baby JESUS.
Hmm, I don’t think anybody has said:
“I, for one, don’t zink Mara is ze best!”
Oh lookit here–
Y NO DIVRSTY?
>the color and quality of the lighting is quite different between individuals.
It would be very simple for an expert such as myself (Ph.D., physics) to explain that light is not uniformly distributed in a room due to its multiple source, the existence of shadows cast by non-transparent objects, and its radiating.
And:
Well, they wouldn’t get so heated if the colours of the individuals in the room weren’t so different.
Is this the photo they’re talking about? ‘Cause it sorta looks a bit ‘shopped to me too. The shadows are all wrong!
LOL
what is it about being a wingnut that obviously inhibits depth perception?
She completely missed Malcolm X’s ghost hiding behind the draperies. Heh!
…campaign tactics to politicize the killing of Osama bin Laden.
Killing Osama bin Laden was political. It’s obvious that they don’t think that Obama “represents” them, but they appear still to think that he’s not really the President. There is one diagnosis that needs to be added to the DSM-5. They’ve got the Swiftboating of political theater down and are honing into a crazy craft, but I don’t think they understand political power at all. They just want someone called “Mr. President” to blow smoke up their asses.
The article has a link to a Gateway Pundit item about a “Swedish newspaper” noticing something was wrong with the photo. Follow the link and it seems like a classic piece of stupidity:
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/12/swedish-paper-obama-photoshopped-into-famous-situation-room-photo/
The Swedish video is here:
http://www.aftonbladet.se/webbtv/noje/underhallning/schulmanshow/article14018634.ab?start=2359
These idjits will continue this shit until our illustrious media challenges them, which will be never. When Arpaio revived the birther nonsense, the media ignored him. And, for these cretins, that is all they needed to see that the media is in on the conspiracy.
Since I refuse to sign up for an account there, I left this message on their Facebook page:
As, I’m guessing, the only actual “Photoshop Expert” (a phrase which should never be used without irony) who read this paranoid rant, I’d like to say that it’d be fun to Photoshop tinfoil hats on all the commenters’ heads, but I’m guessing it would be unnecessary.
2 minutes ago · Like
And here’s someone who needs no photoshopping.
Ghost?! He’s not even dead, Quaker! Do you know far his conspiracy goes?!!!!!!
what is it about being a wingnut that obviously inhibits depth perception?
They’re all size queens.
The Trilateral Commission can track you through your EffBook account, vs.
~
Shorter major American political party: “This looks shopped. We can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in our time.”
Stay tuned for the debates, in which Mitt mockingly declares that the American people should watch out, because we’re dealing with a badass over here.
the media ignored him. And, for these cretins, that is all they needed to see that the media is in on the conspiracy.
you have touched on something here, smedley…remember when growing up if your older sibling, say, was teasing you…or a bully at school was picking on you…your parents would say, ‘just ignore them and they’ll go away…’
i used to think that i was ignoring them wrong because THEY DIDN’T GO AWAY!!! but now i see, what with the hourly wingnut whingathon, it just doesn’t work…
for you sadlies with small children, for the love of bob, don’t give them this advice…
The Trilateral Commission can track you through your EffBook account, vs.
~
I ain’t afeart of The Tricycle Commision.
fixoed
Chyron HR:
How did you won Internet?
Stay tuned for the debates, in which Mitt
mockinglydeclares that he was resposnible for taking out bin Laden.Just like he’s taking credit for saving Detroit.
I believe even stronger that this whole OBL raid was a false flag to get the attention of obamas BC; Corsi’s book came out the same time
He was so afraid of JEROME FUCKING CORSI that he photoshopped himself in a goddamn room? Shit, Bin Laden’s dead, end of story. I don’t care of Obama was banging a hot dog vending prostitute as long as OBL is DED.
…your parents would say, ‘just ignore them and they’ll go away…’
Heh. My dad would say, “next time he bugs you, pick up a brick and knock him in the head with it. He’ll think you’re crazy and won’t want to mess with you anymore.”
The thing is, it worked. Though I never hit anyone in the head with a brick. We had a neighborhood bully who would show up every few weeks, get some kid down on the ground and just sit on top of him pounding away. The bully’s mother wasn’t interested in doing anything to stop it, so when he got my brother in that position, bro just bit the shit out of his stomach. Then MY mom got the hysterical call from his mother who apparently thought that while beating on other kids was ok, biting was beyond the pale; mom very calmly says, “how do suppose he bit Mark on the belly, if Mark wasn’t sitting on top of him hitting him? If your son is going to go around bullying the other kids, he can’t expect anyone to care too much when one of the kids beats on him.” That kid never showed up on our street again.
Someone remind me…was there even a tiny fraction of this “he’s not the REAL president” stuff with Dubya, who LOST THE FUCKING ELECTION?
WANT. Hey, Teh Ho rocks his Hello Kitty messenger bag – I need something for me.
“Someone remind me…was there even a tiny fraction of this “he’s not the REAL president” stuff with Dubya, who LOST THE FUCKING ELECTION?”
There was a little, but then, EVERYTHING CHANGED ON 9/11.
There was a little, but then, EVERYTHING CHANGED ON 9/11.
Yeah, and if, God forbid, there’s another 9/11, everyone will rally around Obama like they did around Assface, right?
EVERYTHING CHANGED ON 9/11.
Many wingnuts had to change their underwear three or four times.
He was so afraid of JEROME FUCKING CORSI that he photoshopped himself in a goddamn room?
No shit. They really see their little paranoid conspiracies as equal to REAL FUCKING TERRORISTS because they just KNOW when the truth of the Kenyan Usurper is truly revealed then everything done over the last 3 years is automatically undone and the Ice Queen of the North will rule over all and put all them uppity gays, browns, and wimmins in their place.
OMG whingers heads are gonna splode! HAHAHAHA This is going to be fun to watch.
Do I have to mention that the Kenyan usurper just endorsed faggy marriage?
Yes, thanks to ‘Bammerz, John Travolta can now marry his masseur.
Yes, thanks to ‘Bammerz, John Travolta can now marry his masseur.
Wouldn’t that require legalization of polygamy? Unless he divorced Kelly Preston first.
Yes, once Mittens takes office gay masseur polygamy will be the norm.
Unless he divorced Kelly Preston first.
Wouldn’t be the first beard he’s shaved off.
I think the whole problem here is that the masseurs aren’t interested.
Do I have to mention that the Kenyan usurper just endorsed faggy marriage?
The reactions are interesting; TPM are all Thumbs Up/Mitt Romney Jokes, DU’s acting like they won an Oscar and Gawker’s all, “He just gave the gay-bashers a reason to vote Republican!”
I’m not going to even bother checking a conservative site.
That’s weird. I’d figure Gawker would be down with it.
Gawker is down, they’re just worried that he didn’t wait until after the election. They see Republicans using this to GOTV.
And now, a massage from the Swedish Prime Minister…
I actually think the ambiguity surrounding the issue was a far better weapon. I’m glad he took it away.
I want to rip this guy’s nuts off and feed them to my dogs.
I want to rip this guy’s nuts off and feed them to my dogs.
You’d do better giving him the Ludovico Technique, except feeding him his own testicles rather than making him watch war porn.
I just wish Dems would start playing offense for a change. They could do it with any issue, including this one. “Mitt, why don’t YOU support equal rights for ALL Americans?”
Yes, they desperately needed that/
I’m not going to even bother checking a conservative site.
Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it for you. Teh Ho has many bookmarked – he reads them regularly as part of his “know your enemy” philosophy.
Hmm, nothing at freeperville yet. Let’s see what America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ has to say…
Greetings
mind-numbed Lefty Robots
Let’s see what America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ has to say…
Odds are he’ll Cut & Paste the LCR statement.
Oh Dan Dan Dan.
It’s true! The Bush policy on bin Laden – “I don’t think about him anymore” – was the only reason someone in the military overrode Obama to splash OBL.
Is there anything about Obama you can’t find fault with? No, that’s okay, it’s purely a rhetorical question.
So did affable old Joe Biden force the big O to come out and say something about this? Is that how this came about?
Teh Gay Putzriot does not approve.
Correction: that was Bruce, America’s Other Dumbest Homosexual™.
Oops. Pup got it frist.
tsam – A FUCKING HEM EH?
And fuck those LCRs those fucking fucks.
First: Good job Obama! I just wish it hadn’t taken him this long, but still cool. I wonder if this will have any effect on the “bbbbut both parties are exactly the same!” schtick? Wait, don’t answer that, no I don’t wonder that at all!
And:
This worked for me too (well, no brick) — when I was in 10th grade, I was about 5’1″ and 110 lbs (in shape, but tiny) and there was this asshole senior football player that used to always pick on me in front of his buddies. One day he does it again and I’ve had a shitty day already, we’re in the main area of campus with people around everywhere and I just fucking lost it. I shove him away and start screaming at the top of my lungs “Fine, c’mon, let’s go you fucking asshole! I’m sick of this shit! Let’s go, I’m not gonna take this anymore!”
He backed down. I breathed a sigh of relief, quietly retired to the bathroom and shook like a leaf for 10 minutes.
I got left alone after that. A couple years later I run into him at a party and we got high together. Ah, memories.
It was sickening when Scarborough called Cheney’s position “brave” last week. Yeah. It really is brave when you want your daughter to be treated as a full human being.
I bet his supporters fighting for months to defeat Amendment One in North Carolina are real impressed that he let them hang out to dry until after the vote. Charming.
And I’ll bet they’re even more charmed by asswipes like you who want everyone to vote for Romney despite his treating gay marriage, and gay people in general, as radioactive.
a girlfriend in Obama’s Dreams book was a composite
I know that movie.
And I’ll bet they’re even more charmed by asswipes like you who want everyone to vote for Romney despite his treating gay marriage, and gay people in general, as radioactive.
Classic internalized homophobia. They bought into all the lies and abuse, they think they need to be punished. They are masochists ensuring they get punished. It’s tragic, really. I _almost_ feel sorry for them.
And of course Fox sees this as:
Obama Flip Flops, Declares War On Marriage
[sigh] I’m married, I guess I better go home and start cleaning my guns and stock up on ammo.
BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/rush-babes-america-limbaugh-launches-facebook-campaign-conservative-144351284.html
There is no denying, no matter the rhetoric, no matter your politcal party and persuasion, that for the President of the United States to verbally approve of gay marriage is truly a monumental moment for gay people all over the world, not just here. The POTUS’s viewpoint carries weight like no other. HIs is a bully pulpit unmatched in the rest of the universe (misused by this President on too many occasions). Yes, his timing sucks. No I do not like him and will not vote for him. But I am not interested in hearing your “sour grapes”, pointing out the flaws in his timing, etc. That doesn’t matter right now. As a gay man who grew up in the 80?s, as a conservative Republican and a Christian, this moment is huge. I believe this will actually put pressure on GOP’ers to soften or change their stance, not to mention Democrats. It may even make it easier for a some to admit their support out loud. We’ll see.
Comment by Eddie — May 9, 2012 @ 3:43 pm – May 9, 2012
Eddie-
2 years ago I might have had sympathy with your position. Maybe Dan will.
But Obama has no spine, no principles and no moral center. He doesn’t need to say jack shit for me to feel good about myself or my nation.
He is not a leader, he is a follower.
He can bite me.
Comment by Bruce (GayPatriot) — May 9, 2012 @ 3:47 pm – May 9, 2012
Yes, once Mittens takes office gay masseur polygamy will be the norm.
Now I’m rethinking my support for the Muslin.
OK, in response to the link, if this(or the birth certificate) is such a bad photoshop that it’s obviously fake, why would anyone have bothered to make and release it? I mean, it’s not like the administration doesn’t have access to top intelligence folks, some with years if not decades of experience making fake IDs, photos and other sorts of evidence; and if the administration were determined to fake something it’s not like they don’t have access to the president to take multiple photos with appropriate dress, lighting, etc. The only reason to fake it would be if he’d actually been there but they want to ratfuck these guys, so they go out on a limb and look stupid. WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS.
Whoa, head rush.
Obama Flip Flops, Declares War On Marriage
Operation: 50% Divorce Rate
OK, in response to the link, if this(or the birth certificate) is such a bad photoshop that it’s obviously fake, why would anyone have bothered to make and release it?
The really amusing part is that several common taters over there asked that same question. They just didn’t bother trying to answer it.
Obama has no spine, no principles and no moral center.
If only he had the spine, principles and moral center of Romney…
Has anyone linked to this original image of the Situation Room?
Gay conservatives are chomping at the bit for other conservatives to “just get over it” so they can be fulltime members of Obama-Haters United. You know, like how conservative women, conservative minorities and conservative non-Protestants are full time members.
Has anyone linked to this original image of the Situation Room?
OBS did some while ago.
At least seven from actual women.
The war on marriage is fought with clusterfucks rather than clusterbombs.
CURSE U OBS.
I believe this will actually put pressure on GOP’ers to soften
So he;s saying they came?
To a new understanding, I mean.
Obama, the ‘Prince dahlia lama’
This makes me happy.
yay for teh gheys!!! also too…all over the catskills tonight will be heard: so the president is for gay marriage…yeah, why shouldn’t they be as miserable as the rest of us…hey oh!
Is he wearing slacks?
mangoesturds from theswampcessspool!Piss off your liberal friends and relatives. Tell them if he had done this years ago it would’ve prevented all of those evil anti-gay amendments.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:51:46 PM by techcor (I hope Obama succeeds, in being a one term president.)
OK! Mr. Obama is finished evolving! Oh, boy! Oh, girl! Oh, er…
Never mind.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:52:10 PM by RexBeach (Mr. Obama Can’t Count.)
Note to Obama: Marriage is a State issue not Federal.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:52:44 PM by Mikey_1962 (Obama: The Affirmative Action President.)
as usual MSM going out of it’s way to say he is the FIRST to ever do something on his watch. Hopefully it will be the last as well.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:56:05 PM by ColdOne (I miss my poochie… Tasha 2000~3/14/11 0bie don’ t eat my dog!)
Mr. Obama, welcome to the fringe.
I hope you enjoy the stay.
Desperation brings out the best in people.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:56:38 PM by cicero2k
Notice he waited until Rush was over for the day? Not that he said anything we didn’t already know.
My husband works with a guy who insists he cannot vote for Romney because he was once pro-abortion. I wonder what he will do now?
The Democrat party is now officially the party of unrepentent sin.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:56:48 PM by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
Why not, the dark lord already proved a Kenyan can be president why should SSAD (same sex attraction disorder) people not get married?
For the same damned reason you Keynan Marxist pig, one is illegal and the other is immoral.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:05:24 PM by Wurlitzer (Nothing says “ignorance” like Islam!)
So, Bathhouse Barry falls out of the steam room…finally.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:09:13 PM by twister881
In North Carolina gay couples can still continue to marry as long as they each marry a person of the opposite sex. This has always been true in North Carolina and all of the other 50 states as well. North Carolina has it right. Gay couples can sign contracts with each other, but they can not be married. Good call, North Carolina.
[Umm, no. The amendment outlaws that too. And also between opposite sex couples. – Pupienus]
To: Nachum
I have a thought that something could pop open soon. Van jones said obama could come out as gay and still get votes, then hussein is forced to forget his evolution, and now the travolta stuff. Does anyone smell smoke.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:12:28 PM by biggredd1
My favorite line was about the gay and lesbian service men and women fighting, “on MY behalf” around the world.
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:14:54 PM by outofsalt (“If History teaches us anything it’s that history rarely teaches us anything”)
“concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.”
Has he told the Wookie that he’s getting divorced, yet?
posted on Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:16:36 PM by Sooth2222
“when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on MY behalf and yet feel constrained…”
Somehow, it’s always about him.
Obama, the ‘Prince dahlia lama’ or the ‘Pharaoh of Egypt’
Ummmm……..okay, what now?
He was probably off campaigning or something,
Sure- why would he actually be paying attention to breaking events that could literally make or break his Presidency?
Our country is just a ‘powder keg’ of stupidity
Okay, the broken clock finally strikes.
[rolls 20-sided die…]
I block your curse with my +3 anti-magic shield and +5 ultra-fast-keyboard! So there!
Pupienus said,
May 9, 2012 at 22:12
whoa, dude…at first i thought this was your comment and i was really confuzzled…don’t scare me like that!
Our country is just a ‘powder keg’ of stupidity
if only this were self awareness…
Piss off your liberal friends and relatives. Tell them if he had done this years ago it would’ve prevented all of those evil anti-gay amendments.
Why would hearing something so stupid piss anyone off?
Note to Obama: Marriage is a State issue not Federal.
IRS? DOMA?
“when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on MY behalf and yet feel constrained…”
Somehow, it’s always about him.
Comprehension is tough, but you keep working on it, sport, and you’ll get there!
I think that the last 30 years of American history are actually fake and the only real bit was the Moon Landing. America is actually a garage in Dakota County MN, called “Joes”. Joe makes home videos with the fake history in it.
Believe me, this makes more sense than the current state of America’s discourse.
WOO-HOO!!!!
@Pryme about Rush
Because every woman who wants to be take seriously is okay with a noxious drug and sex addict calling her a babe.
Made the mistake of reading some of those photo-shop conspiracy comments. It’s not enough for them to look at that photo and hallucinate a lot of “clues”— they have deluded themselves into believing that there is a strict seating protocol for situations just such as that.
Everyone knows that in military operations all that matters is rank, right? Training, Tactical Control, and Operations be damned, the Big Cheese gets the Captain’s Chair. END OF STORY.
I know, she said, red-faced.
Eh? What does this mean?
Bammy actually said that although he personally supports ghey marriage, he still thinks it should be left up to the states.
the party of unrepentent sin
“The Party of Unrepentant Sin” = Band Name (I’m thinking retro-alt rock with a little ska sprinkled on it).
Now, wiley, how many of those tinfoil hat-wearers have actually served do ya think?
Believe me, this makes more sense than the current state of America’s discourse.
Discourse is discourse, of course/of course.
I think that the last 30 years of American history are actually fake and the only real bit was the Moon Landing. America is actually a garage in Dakota County MN, called “Joes”.
Joe’s Garage.
VS,
cute babies like kitten cams are always just what I need.
Bammy actually said that although he personally supports ghey marriage, he still thinks it should be left up to the states.
Yeah, I neglected to mention that.
So Obama agrees with the guy who’s bitching about him but that didn’t keep him from bitching? Now there’s a surprise. Still, it would be nice if O removed some of the more stupid federal anti-marriage stuff, like the fact that people legally married in the state in which they live can’t file as married without risking fines. Even if he and the wingnut agree it’s a state issue, there are federal implications.
For certain zombies
Erm, in the US that search will likely have as the top two listings the wiki for the album and a link to Joe’s Garage restaurant in Minnesota.
aww, thanks. It’s funny you should say that. I was thinking to myself “A picture of a cat would’ve gotten comments.”
Thank you!
Why couldn’t they have just gotten all the other people back there to retake the photo with the president in it? He’s forced them to keep quiet on him not being there, so why force them all to sit down in a room with him for the few minutes/seconds it would take to photograph?
Obama WHAT HAVE YOU WROUGHT?
we don’t want her they can have her, she’s too batshit crazy for me…*
*yes, it’s a polka!!!
Deadthreaded, so here we go again.
I also had the “football catch with bonus pole embellishment” experience, but in my case it was in a back yard and it was a clothesline pole. Made the catch, ended up unconscious with a black eye, but thankfully no bandages were needed.
Damn OBS! Mad props on making the catch! Glad to know that there are other members of the loony tunes chorus afoot.
One of the reasons that I refuse to own a Motorcycle (though I am damn sure I would have a blast) is the fact that I know myself too well. The urge to test the limits of traction would be overpowering.
I’m two months older than you, so RESPECT YER ELDER! Heh.
Yes sir Jim, sir!
🙂
.
oh, yeah…happy birthday, provider!!!
Obama isn’t even a real person! He’s just a hologram!
KERNERS ARE GO!
The article strains making barely plausible statements. Give me something more concrete like mathematics and room and appliance layout. Vision vectors actually coaberate the President’s own view-point. Scaling is amusing but inconclusive. This looks more like a photo-op than a forgery, still not sure why Clinton has a hand on her mouth. Remember this is the PR admin, everything is structured.
A simple explanation in comic form, of the entire raison d’être of the anti-gay-marriage (fuck off North Carolina!) thing.
OBS a thing of beauty that was, thanks for sharing.
.
Hmm, ok, but where’s the one like it but with Velma and Daphne, eh? WHERE IS IT!?!!!!one!
speaking of joe’s garage, legend in his own mind joe soucheray has his knickers in a knot over this story. why, i’m not entirely sure…he’s been going on and on about how england is on its way out…its culture is being decimated daily…and if you want to visit, you better do it now because this multi-culti crap is killing it…pretty soon you won’t even be able to eat english food there any more for pete’s sake!!!
still not sure why Clinton has a hand on her mouth.
girls burp to, ya know…
also, my last post? possibly my second most spectacular tagfail…
Bbkf’s link refers to Switzerland as “the tiny European country”.
Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Andorra, Grand Duchy of Fenwick… all the same if you’re a Yahoo writer.
Wouldn’t be the first beard he’s shaved off.
How would you like your internet delivered, sir?
.
Not sure why you would want to eat English food if there were other choices.
Thanks! I was knocked out only for a couple seconds. It was rather amusing to awake with the football in my arms with my gaggle of friends standing around staring down at me. Then after a brief “are you ok!?!?” moment came the “OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CAUGHT THAT!” Hilarious.
I think we then proceeded to decide football was perhaps too dangerous and that it might be a great idea to try to jump my buddy’s motocross bike across the road. This was a rural setting, no sidewalks, small embankments on both sides of the road (and obviously tolerant/insane parents and neighbors). I think the best we could do was about the middle of the opposite lane, but dammit, we tried.
Yes, we were stupid teenagers and there were controlled substances involved.
vs: this is what you have to look forward to once Great Lord Chubbington of Dudeskull becomes a teenager. You’re welcome.
I think we then proceeded to decide football was perhaps too dangerous and that it might be a great idea to try to jump my buddy’s motocross bike across the road.
I mean really, what could possibly go wrong?
I saw this comment over at Balloon Juice and I wonder what you guys think? I think it makes a lot of sense and may be part of the long game:
Yeah, I mean we wore helmets and everything!
vs: this is what you have to look forward to once Great Lord Chubbington of Dudeskull becomes a teenager. You’re welcome.
It’s actually a miracle I survived to adulthood with all my limbs intact and no permanent criminal record. I’m 50 years old and there are still things my parents don’t know about.
I don’t think Obama is really black. He was just pretending to be to get all the white guilt vote from liberals. Obama is Sweedish like Michele Bachmann and Volvos.
Hmm, I like it. It has possibilities. It even plays teh dreaded gheys(!) against the right’s fetishization of and infatuation with the military. I dunno though, these people did go to war over “states rights” (*cough* no really, that’s what it was about! *cough*) once already…
One of these days they are bound to figure out you’re a pilot…
Obama is Sweedish like Michele Bachmann and Volvos
Shirley you mean Škodas.
One of these days they are bound to figure out you’re a pilot…
Hush! They think I’m a mafia hit-man. I want them to still respect me.
As a once teenage boy myself I can confirm we are often on the Darwin award short list. God knows how I survived, but rule number one is DON’T GET CAUGHT
VS has less than a decade to think about this before she gets to live it, but if it’s any comfort my mom never knew about 75% of the stuff I did.
I was a GOOD kid (ha!).
Hmm, Skoda or Volvo? So hard to choose…
VS has less than a decade to think about this before she gets to live it, but if it’s any comfort my mom never knew about 75% of the stuff I did.
Roseanne once said something about teenage offspring to the effect that, girls defy you but boys just lie to you. “Yeah, Mom, I was out collecting for UNICEF all night.”
Yes, we were stupid teenagers and there were controlled substances involved.
vs: this is what you have to look forward to once Great Lord Chubbington of Dudeskull becomes a teenager. You’re welcome.
Damn we are fellow travelers OBS including the fresh/soph year stature.
Fortunately I never really had to deal with a bully per se. However during my Freshman year at marching band camp a group of three Seniors did “make an attempt” to give me a swirly. I managed to get out of the bathroom stall unscathed, I can’t exactly say the same for one or more of them. i pretty much tazmanian deviled them.
Oddly enough there were no more attempts made. 🙂
Thanks bbkf!
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VS has less than a decade to think about this before she gets to live it, but if it’s any comfort my mom never knew about 75% of the stuff I did.
If he’s anything like his parents, his stupidity level will be at a minimum. Then again it’s not a sure thing he will be like us.
Fortunately I never really had to deal with a bully per se
We moved from New York to Chicago when I was in the 7th grade. I wasn’t a big kid and I had a funny (to them) accent. 7th grade was a living hell until I learned how to fight.
Even if I didn’t win, I usually hurt them bad enough that they found someone easier to pick on.
btw vs, ds is adorable.
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If he’s anything like his parents, his stupidity level will be at a minimum.
You are aware, I hope, that the minimum stupidity level for boys takes a deep plunge at around the age of thirteen for fourteen. It doesn’t start rising again until the early 20s in most cases. In many cases it never goes back up.
As a once teenage boy myself I can confirm we are often on the Darwin award short list. God knows how I survived, but rule number one is DON’T GET CAUGHT
VS has less than a decade to think about this before she gets to live it, but if it’s any comfort my mom never knew about 75% of the stuff I did.
I was a GOOD kid (ha!).
This is all so very true. My mom is as sharp as a samari sword, but I’ll never forget the first time I slid an extemporaneous lie with all the backchannels covered past the goalie. I think I was 12 or 13, and saved myself from a serious grounding. I probably should have taken the bar exam that year.
On another occasion me and some neighborhood friends were throwing snowballs at passing cars from my front yard [what were you thinking dumbass] One driver did the go round the block thing and everybody scattered past my house and through the back yard, everybody but me that is. i am not exactly sure when exactly I hatched the plan to stand my ground, but it occurred to me that if I did I could submit a plea of not guilty.
So the driver (a dude in his late 20’s early 30’s and pissed as hell fumes up to me smoke coming out of his ears and starts yelling at me. i look up innocently as possible give him a fake name and explain that I was just walking up the street when I saw all of those other kids run off while keeping my eyes on his the entire time. Eventually he had to accept what I told him and he left.
In normal circumstances I am a horrible liar in fact, I usually don’t bother, but if my freedom or health is threatened, I can cough up a whopper.
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KERN BABY KERN!
Alternate Shorter: “Aw shit, let’s face it … we got nothin’.”
Now I’m ust waiting for the accusations of “body doubles” a la Saddam.
So, Major. I’m *ahem* years older than you and left Chicago in 1982. We probably wouldn’t have crossed paths but one never knows……………..where hung thou out?
Also too, I understand G. Heileman went through some nasty changes in the ’80s and ’90s……….this may account for our serious differences of opinion re: Old Style.
ZOMG! Obummer sent a drone to whack my “j” !!!!!
Having fun at GayPutzRiot.
That was My Sharia something or other responding to me.
By “stupidity” are you referring to a likelihood to do stupid things or intelligence?
Because all the aforementioned “incidents” and eleventy bazillion others that shall go undocumented? Those all occurred while I was getting (mostly) straight As and scoring 99%+ on all the standardized tests. All while often being half-to-two-thirds baked at all hours of the day (it was the ’80s after all).
The stupid things I did had absolutely nothing to do with how smart I was.
A close-up from the overexposed photo is also provided in which it is clearly visible that Tomason’s hands are in front of Blinken’s shirt and even appear to come out in front of Daley’s jacket
EXCUSE MAH FINGERS!
We moved from New York to Chicago when I was in the 7th grade. I wasn’t a big kid and I had a funny (to them) accent. 7th grade was a living hell until I learned how to fight.
Even if I didn’t win, I usually hurt them bad enough that they found someone easier to pick on.
That sucks MK. I have been lucky in one respect and have only been in three fights in my life and two of them were on the same day when I was 5 years old. (never understand why the kids older brother sent him back out for the second beating) The other time I got jumped, cold cocked, and hit a few times before I even knew what was happening. I managed to extricate myself and get a little distance realized that I knew the kid had the WTF conversation, “no I did not say anything of the sort” and that was it.
Unfortunately I lost a lot of respect for a friend who was with me at the time and did not lift a finger in my defense.
Stupid kids is stupid. luckily for me I was also always one of the quickest kids on the playground, which saved my skinny little ass from a number of scrapes.
I for one am enjoying the trip down teen aged boy memory lane.
VS, pro-tip: Judo classes. learning how to fall properly has many many benefits I didn’t break a bone that I know about untill I was in my thirties, and I was presented with many many opportunities. I only got in about 4 of them (what you could take before you had to start paying) but on day one we learned how to fall.
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I can recall my poor sainted mother saying to the teenage me before I was going out somewhere “you won’t do anything stupid.” “Nope mom, not unless I can think of something spectacularly stupid in which case I won’t be able to help myself.”
I was the youngest of seven boys – dunno how she managed to stay sane through all that.
(Just want to make clear that I don’t particularly think that grades or standardized tests are a good measure of intelligence, I was just using those as a simple well-understood measure. I mean my comments here point out just how GAWDAMD SmuRt I know I is! Duhurrhh!)
WILL THERE BE BADGES? God I hope there will be badges.
Alternate pro-tip: skateboard. The uh, “lessons” on falling provide a bit more direct feedback, as long as you don’t mind a little blood.
I was plenty intelligent as a kid and DUMBER THAN SHIT. I drank, started smoking, surfed on top of cars, deliberately provoked cops to chase me, ugh–the list goes on and on. If I caught my kids doing ANYTHING like that I would have a goddamn cow. I owe my parents a huge apology.
Oh yeah? If yer so smart howcum you mispeeled “durhurrhh”?
Alternate pro-tip: skateboard. The uh, “lessons” on falling provide a bit more direct feedback, as long as you don’t mind a little blood.
With Judo, you can do it without the broken bones. I took quite a bit of Judo as a kid and I loved it. Mostly wrestling, actually, but a pretty cool sport.
Nice work pup!
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This conversation has prompted me to remember that we used to jump off a fucking two story office building. We did this more than once. There was a big sort of soft-ish bush that you’d land in and then roll out of. Why? I have absolutely no fucking idea.
I really wonder what the landscapers thought about the condition of that poor bush.
This conversation has prompted me to remember that we used to jump off a fucking two story office building. We did this more than once. There was a big sort of soft-ish bush that you’d land in and then roll out of. Why? I have absolutely no fucking idea.
LOL, sounds familiar.
Oh, I’m definitely not against Judo, but a skateboard and some bandages are way cheaper than lessons. I didn’t actually break a bone riding my skateboard until I was into my forties. Yes, I’m still stupid!
The stupid things I did had absolutely nothing to do with how smart I was.
I feel certain OBS that we would have been fast friends and njeighborhood terrors my teenage resume tracks nicely with yours.
Also, to, VS, pyromania. I always figured that if I had a boy, I would construct a small fireproof cinderblock room in the basement with bullet proof glass in preparation for the inevitable desire to experiment with flammables. certain activities should take place in safety and proper adult supervision.
Just sayin’
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Future Chubbington
(But still pre-teenage.)
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I didn’t actually break a bone riding my skateboard until I was into my forties.
In all my time on a skateboard, I never broke a bone. I didn’t spend that much time on one, however. After I fell flat on my back once and bashed my head against the concrete so hard I threw up, I pretty much quit that shit. That hurt SO FUCKING BAD. Of course I didn’t bother to tell my parents either, and there’s no doubt that I had a nasty concussion. Of course I didn’t tell my parents either, and there’s no doubt that I had a nasty concussion. I haven’t noticed any lingering effects. YAY ME!
True. Hell, the recipe for black powder is so easy an 8 year old could make it. I had a lot of fun with that stuff and only got scorched a couple minor times.
Then again that was back in the day when you could get a real chemistry set…
I can recall my poor sainted mother saying to the teenage me before I was going out somewhere “you won’t do anything stupid.” “Nope mom, not unless I can think of something spectacularly stupid in which case I won’t be able to help myself.”
This not only scared the cat but nearly made me crap my pants.
I was the youngest of seven boys – dunno how she managed to stay sane through all that.
I feel for her, I really do. The other thing is you had advanced training. Fortunately for my mother and others in the neighborhood I had no older brothers and was of similar age to the rest of the potential neighborhood terrors, so we had to make up all of our stupid shit on our own, I don’t even want to think what I might have been capable of with advanced training. Pupenius probably acquired the equivalent of a PhD in hijinkery by the time he was 12.
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Yeah, we all did stupid stuff as teenagers, but they weren’t THAT stupid. It really was a mistake for me to read those comments today. How do these people survive?
But then we would’ve started a band and we’d get all pissed at each other for stealing and re-stealing each other’s girlfriends. Oh the drama!
Alternate pro-tip: skateboard. The uh, “lessons” on falling provide a bit more direct feedback, as long as you don’t mind a little blood.
This too. Remember that the tuck and roll is your best friend.
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Also, to, VS, pyromania. I always figured that if I had a boy
Don’t bother. You just gotta let do it. My brother and I built a few bombs (I guess they’re called IEDs now). We stole my dad’s guns, and oh my god we were fucking idiots. We managed to not burn down a whole house though.
It occurs to me that as stupid as my brother and I were, we weren’t exactly the dumbest a-holes around. A kid up the street from us was playing with a can of gas and matches, which is cool and everything, except that he went to pour more gas on the fire and ignited the gas container spout. He instinctively dropped the can, and KICKED IT. It went sailing, spinning, splattering burning fuel ALL OVER this moron’s back yard. The fire department did not approve. I’m sure his parents used his ballsack for a tobacco pouch too.
Yes, thanks to ‘Bammerz, John Travolta can now marry his masseur.
Wouldn’t that require legalization of polygamy? Unless he divorced Kelly Preston first.
Well… Scientology is a lot like Mormonism for “hip” people…
Kolob… Xenu… what’s the difference?
The girlfriends would have course played keyboards in the band, I just wanted that to be clear.
The girlfriends would have course played keyboards in the band, I just wanted that to be clear.
They also “wrote a song that I think we should do…”
Don’t get me started.
Why? I have absolutely no fucking idea.
Because you could silly! It was their for the taking. This thread is highfucking larious.
VS, I hope we are not scaring the shit out of you. If your son is lucky he will have a batch of smart male friends like tsam Pup OBS and me to get into trouble with. I don’t think you could better than to roll with a crew of that caliber. 🙂
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With Judo, you can do it without the broken bones. I took quite a bit of Judo as a kid and I loved it. Mostly wrestling, actually, but a pretty cool sport.
The perfect equalizer for a smaller kid, too. One of my students was able to put the local bully on his ass a couple of times in quick succession (first time, the older, bigger kid thought it was a fluke, second time, he got the message). He neutralized the kid’s attack and made him look like an ass, while not hurting him one bit.
Also, to, VS, pyromania.
Ah yes, my husband has told me tales. One time he dripped burning plastic through the woods and had to get a baseball team to help put it out… “help, the woods are on fire!” Um, yeah. Impulse control is a good thing.
PROTIP for vs: If you ever hear him saying “picric” or “fulminates” then worry. And maybe run in the other direction.
Of course I didn’t bother to tell my parents either, and there’s no doubt that I had a nasty concussion.
That reminds me of the time I was running late (a groundable sin in my house) so i was cutting through backyards in the neighborhood (another groundable sin) to make up for lost time and got bitten by a dog on the way home (skin was broken and there was blood).
i slipped quickly into the front door before my parents saw me, managed to get to the bathroom (thank god right next to my room) clean up and put on a new shirt. As i had garbage duty, the old and now bloody one was properly done away with. I sweated the possibility of rabies for a bit, but that wasn’t as bad as being grounded.
Pro tip three, do not be so strict as to force your kid to make a choice between freedom and rabies though I doubt you will.
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If your little chub scout finds anyone even remotely like me, SEND HIM AWAY IMMEDIATELY.
My life is better for having seen that. Boy, that kid is cute.
Impulse control is a good thing.
I’m STILL working on that. I still occasionally snort some of my rent money.
But then we would’ve started a band and we’d get all pissed at each other for stealing and re-stealing each other’s girlfriends. Oh the drama!
LOL.
I know we would have started a band, but you would have been fortunate, I have always been very loyal in the girlfriend department where friends were concerned. In some ways you could say I was a sucker and i would have a difficult time disagreeing with you.
Over the years I have realized that I could have gotten laid a bit more frequently if I had been a bit more opportunistic.
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Yes on the pyromania. I made a small volcano using cut-off paper matcheads (it was COOL!), made a (working) model .38 caliber black powder cannon in metal shop, had a spectacular naval battle with all my warship models that involved black powder and gasoline…ahh memories.
If you ever hear him saying “picric” or “fulminates” then worry.
“I overheard young Pupenius on the ‘phone saying something about fertiliser.”
“Good that he’s settling down at last and taking an interest in gardening.”
If my coworker doesn’t stop whistling, I’m going to strangle him. Then I will record an hour of whistling to play for the jury so that they sympathize with me.
I hate whistling.
It occurs to me that as stupid as my brother and I were, we weren’t exactly the dumbest a-holes around. A kid up the street from us was playing with a can of gas and matches, which is cool and everything, except that he went to pour more gas on the fire and ignited the gas container spout. He instinctively dropped the can, and KICKED IT. It went sailing, spinning, splattering burning fuel ALL OVER this moron’s back yard. The fire department did not approve. I’m sure his parents used his ballsack for a tobacco pouch too.
Now I am really happy that I took that dump a couple of hours ago. Fucking hilarious! Thanks guys, i got into a bit of a mood earlier, and you all have cheered me right the fuck back up.
There is always one of those idiot bastards in the neighborhood. And this is where the smarts come into play. My crew avoided that idiot in our neighborhood. It wasn’t always easy as he desperately wanted to roll with us. The smarter kids choose thier friends wisely, on several grounds: “will the dude rat us out to save his own sorry ass?” “Will the dude do something so stupid that he causes a rain of hellfire to descend up0on our persons and possibly get us killed?” Etc. For me the answer to the first question was ultimately the most important.
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Boff. But, yeah, I’m sure smart kids do stupid things. I’m just saying LC’s parents were fairly stupid-free in the DANGEROUS AGE.
Man, the memories just keep rolling on in… I’m gonna torture you with another classic:
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Dad: Why the fuck does it stink like black powder in here?
Me, trying to act innocent: I dunno…
Dad: [glares]
Me: …
Dad: [glares more menacingly]
Me: … Uh, well, uh James [stupid neighbor kid]…
Dad: Yeah?
Me: Uh, well, uh… he… (next bit is all one very fast statement) cameoverandthenwouldn’tleave. Helockedhimselfinthecoatclosetandwouldn’tcomeout…
Dad: And…?
Me): Well, um, you see, uh, I, uh, shoved a bunch of lit firecrackers under the door to scare him out. It worked too!
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Dad was completely and utterly flabbergasted that anybody could think up something that stupid. I can’t remember what the punishment was. I think I was 9 or 10 at the time.
I think the whole thing is a coverup to put Obama in the room. He was probably off campaigning or something,
I wonder if maybe there’s some documentation of the President of the United States appearing in public, do you suppose there might be something like that somewhere?
So were mine… Oh no! IT SKIPS A GENERATION!
“The war on marriage is fought with clusterfucks rather than clusterbombs.”–N_B
This is so heavy. It belongs on some kind of special calendar.
I just wanted that to be clear.
Of course they would! And of course there would be drama, never been in a band that wasn’t brimming with it. I remember being so pissed off at one of my ‘mates that i couldn’t even look at him. Spent the entire rehearsal with my back turned to him because I decided that I really could not afford the prison time or another instrument and going full Pete Townsend on the guy was not gonna do any of us any favors. And we had a decent gig coming up, and some new material in the mix to work out.
I was over it by the end of the rehearsal. And while I can’t remeber what had me seeing red, i do know that he tip toed right up to the line on which my balls reside. had he actually crossed the Rubicon, I might be writing this from a prison.
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Provider: best wishes for a happy birthday!
If your little chub scout finds anyone even remotely like me, SEND HIM AWAY IMMEDIATELY.
That one brought tears to my eyes tsam, but i respectfully have to disagree. The qualities that allowed each of us to make it to the age of 20 without death or major jail time are the qualities you need in a crew.
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More GayPutzRiot fun:
I’ve wrongly been called a denier and anti-science by some of my Global Alarmist friends. Well, in this specific case, I’m going fully on record as saying I don’t believe in “evolution”.
This is what he always believed, but as usual was too chicken to declare it.
Comment by sonicfrog — May 9, 2012 @ 6:13 pm – May 9, 2012
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“Progtard”, really? Bless your pointy little head.
Comment by PeeJ — May 9, 2012 @ 6:14 pm – May 9, 2012
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I don’t believe in “evolution”.
Okay. But let me ask you something: do you understand evolution? or, for that matter, climate science?
Comment by PeeJ — May 9, 2012 @ 6:16 pm – May 9, 2012
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# 32…. Yes. And…. Yes.
Comment by sonicfrog — May 9, 2012 @ 6:22 pm – May 9, 2012
Can’t imagine why anyone would doubt that, sonicfrog. Nope, just can’t imagine.
omg. I love the stupid scary kid stories. I don’t have any quite like that, but I did manage to break my sister’s ankle catching her in a tiger trap.
See, I read this article at 8 years old in the World Book Encyclopedia (yeah I’m that old) about how you throw a rope with a loop in it up in a tree and cover it with leaves and stuff on the ground so the tiger doesn’t see it and rig the tree and then the tiger walks by and gets its foot caught in the trap and woah! tiger hanging in the air by the ankle.
Well…………..I am long on book learning and imagination and short on practical mechanics – so at 8 I enlisted my 12 year old friend Tony to help me. This guy was great with mechanics and practical knowledge and extremely short on imagination and common sense. We were the perfect devilish team omg.
Suffice it to say, we needed a victim. Clue my innocent five year old sister who walked right into it and I’m sorry to say, it worked wayyyyy too well. Broke her ankle, took a trip to the emergency room, and I skated completely, because nobody ever thought that angelic looking 8 year old girl I was could have possibly dreamed up something so nefarious.
We’re 56 and 59 now and she still hasn’t forgiven me. I can’t say as I blame her haha. Well she has, but you know, it’s on my Permanent Sisterly Record.
I think with all the stories y’all are telling I’m just hoping I can straight-up guilt him into not living out “Jackass The Movie.”
While living in a student housing co-op and playing “Trivia”, the opposing team was making a bomb in the closet. My partner and I laughed ourselves silly when the bomb-makers couldn’t figure out what alphabet was named after the Greek words “alpha” and “beta”. My partner and I enjoyed giving them hints by saying “alpha” and “beta” repeatedly in different tones with different facial expressions. She and I were pretty stoned; but not as stoned as the guys making the bomb. That was as funny as when a group of us were having a conversation in the dining room and one of the guys stood up abruptly, slapped his forehead, and said, “The gunpowder!” when he realized that it was still in the oven.
gree. The qualities that allowed each of us to make it to the age of 20 without death or major jail time…
Assumes facts not in evidence.
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Naw, we just got probation. It was kind of neat being on the teevee news in Altoona and Johnstown. And nobody got hurt. Which, in retrospect, is a bit surprising.
Provider: best wishes for a happy birthday!
Thanks Tigris.
xoxox.
Been having a blast the last couple of hours remembering teenaged stupidity. tsam, pup, OBS, and yeasty (hope you don’t mind, just an easier spell) have been cracking my ass up all over the place and reminding me of crazy shit that managed to get past the goalie.
Also too, is the fact that we are attempting to prepare VS for the inevitable, and if dudeskull is anything like his mother and i think he will be, he is a dude, will be smart and curious, and will get into trouble, and likely because he will be quick witted, survive with minimal scars, probation, or conflagrations.
I haven’t thought about alot of this shit for a long time, and think it a gift that I get to travel down memory lane with clearly identified fellow travelers.
Thanks guys.
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Provider it’s your birthday? Happy happy!!!
From a fellow traveller.
HAHAHAHAHA. Rmoney: “I’ve had the same view since I started running for office.”
Yes on the pyromania. I made a small volcano using cut-off paper matcheads (it was COOL!), made a (working) model .38 caliber black powder cannon in metal shop, had a spectacular naval battle with all my warship models that involved black powder and gasoline…ahh memories.
lol [starts the rule #1 chant]
I am almost certain that if their is a god, there is a reason that I did not get my hands on a metal lathe or milling machine untill my 30’s.
/shudders
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I can straight-up guilt him into not living out “Jackass The Movie.”
You know what totes works? Letting your kids know that you disapprove of something. Almost as good as outright “forbidding” it.
Also too, Happy Birthday, P_UNE_what_happened_to_all_the_stuff_that_used_to_be_here.
Dad was completely and utterly flabbergasted that anybody could think up something that stupid. I can’t remember what the punishment was. I think I was 9 or 10 at the time.
Well played sir, well played!
Yep we would have made a very dangerous foundation for a crew.
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Happy birfday, Provider! You gonna use M-80’s as candles?
Can’t imagine why anyone would doubt that, sonicfrog. Nope, just can’t imagine.
Fucking Brill pup, your killing me over here.
🙂
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You know who else had a birthday?
Stupid kid stories? Did any of ya’ll check out the comments thread at my joint where we were talking about how I used to set the storm sewers on fire?
Then there was the “napalm” we made out of a can of Lysol & a lighter – used that to melt green plastic army men…in a friend’s basement. Guess it’s a good thing the can didn’t explode, eh?
Probably the dumbest thing though was how we were running around with an 18-year-old who would buy us beer when we were 13. Not only did none of us get knocked up, we also didn’t even get molested. Dumb luck, that, and the fact that the 18-year-old was a nice, if immature, guy.
“Okay. But let me ask you something: do you understand evolution? or, for that matter, climate science?”
This reminds me of the time I was at the zoo, near the chimps’ lair, and I overheard a father (loudly, bemused): “They think we’re descended from THAT!”
I still can’t forgive myself for holding my tongue. No, sir. Where to start …
Switching gears: I hear from an acquaintance that the planet undergoes warming and cooling cycles. It seems like the climate scientists may have forgotten about those.
Yes, happy birthday Provider! Glad to help with the crazy memories, I haven’t even started on the underage drinking stories (think That 70’s Show meets Animal House meets Northern Exposure). It was a different time then, cops would sometimes even give you a ride home if you parked your car. There were plenty of backroads and gravel pits.
Interesting information I learned in backflow class, today, and I KNOW you will appreciate having it, as well. So, I share. I’m a sharer. 🙂
You don’t wanna drink the water in a funeral home. Here is why.
If they don’t have a second backflow preventer on the sink in the embalming room (and they may NOT — it’s not generally required by codes), it’s possible that bodily fluids COULD be introduced into the building’s plumbing. They use something called an aspirator which attaches to the faucet in that sink, which creates a vacuum on a third line connected to it, and that is used to drain blood, etc. from a body in preparation for embalming (if you’ve drained a waterbed using a plastic Bernoulli pump, it’s the same principle). It is conceivable (and (shudder!) has happened before!) that a low-pressure condition in the water lines elsewhere in the building at the time this aspirator is in use could cause the bodily fluids to be back-siphoned into the building’s pipes (their backflow unit immediately after the water meter only keeps that from contaminating the rest of the distribution system). So, they SHOULD have a second RP on the line leading to the faucet in the embalming room.
Now you know. So carry bottled water to offer the bereaved a settling, non-alcoholic drink, if needed.
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You don’t wanna drink the water in a funeral home.
Oh great, NOW you fucking tell me. I *thought* it had a familiar taste about it.
Waitaminnit. If today is yer birfsday and you live in Indianapolis then it’s what 7:30 or 8:30 and YOU CAN STILL TYPE!?!!?!?! Something is rotten in the state of Indiana.
ALL UR BASE IS BELONG TO TEH GHEY
“Oh great, NOW you fucking tell me. I *thought* it had a familiar taste about it.”
You’re familiar with the tastes of embalming and dead-bodily fluids?
So, Major. I’m *ahem* years older than you and left Chicago in 1982. We probably wouldn’t have crossed paths but one never knows……………..where hung thou out?
I lived in Schaumburg from 1974 until I went in the Air Force in 1984. I went to University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana from 1980-84.
My family still lives in the Chicago area.
omg. I love the stupid scary kid stories. I don’t have any quite like that, but I did manage to break my sister’s ankle catching her in a tiger trap.
I nominate that we invite Rosebbudear into the crew. Honey that was hilarious and i haven’t even finished reading your comment.
assumes fact not in evidence
While just turning 19 three months after my parents kicked me out of the house, the was a raid involving lumber at a nearby construction site. As my roomate had enough camoflage for the team, I suggested that every one of us (their were four who were gonna make the raid) should wear running shorts under their cammo.
As we were returning to the house I was renting at the time, I heard the throaty roar of a hopped up V8 and immediately realized that I had not heard a door open or close, so i yelled cop’s dropped my load and sprinted through my back yard, juped a fence, sprinted through that yard and landed in a field that had not been mowed. While the cruisers were circling the block, I was removing my camo, and as the cruisers were making fairly regular passes, I timed my jump, turning into a guy having a run on a Sunday night.
As I was passing my house wich was half a block away I could see three cop cars out front. So I continued running the mile and a half to one of my regular hangouts. I may have forgotton to mention that there were some other people who had been hanging out in the house that night.
I get to the hangout and am told that several of my friends are in police custody and that all of them have ratted me out and am advised by this character that I should turn myself in. “Fuck!” I said. To this day I can say with a straight face that had I been apprehended I would not have ratted any of them out, but I was facing 7 depositions. After a cup of coffee or two, I ran back to the house and was happy to see that the cops were gone. 20 minutes later I heard a knock on the door. I hesitated for a moment figuring out how I was gonna play this (fully expecting to see a badge when I opened the door). To my surprise I found the buddy who had been on the other end of the 20 foot 2 by 12’s we had been carrying when I yelled “cops”.
About a half hour later their was another knock on the door. This time it was the cops.
“What seems to be the problem officer?” I asked innocently. “We have seven signed depositions that you were the ringleader (I was, it was an accurate statement of fact) of a crime committed and need to get your side of the story”. Turns out that this cop had been a friend of my parents which he told me as we walked to the car(the both of us, the ones who had managed to get away).
I realized that i was likely to spend a night in jail at that moment and that my parents knew about it.
Now the buddy who showed up on my door step still wearing the cammo had managed to follow me into the same field with the tall grass and had sat in the place he landed for at least a couple of hours and one of the first things he said to me was ” I wish I had taken you up on the running shorts.”
Anyhoo, I get to the contabulariun, am processed, put in a cell, and make some new friends, who (after explaining the situation) inform me that the liklihood is high that i will be released on my own recognisance. So when I am arraigned on the following day, I happen to appear before a judge whose bicycle I have repaired on a couple of occasions (in handcuffs of course attempting to keep my pants from falling [36 waist] and exposing my privates to the world in a courtroom). He slapps 1000 dollar bail on my ass who has maybe a couple of nickles to rub together. so I am taken back to jail, the other three who’s parents have bailed out manage to get some friends together to pop me oiut a number of hours later.
I did the crime, served the time and discovered that the reason we had gotten caught was because somebody else had raided the pile to build a half pipe. we yanked maybe 20 bucks worth from a massive pile and in such a way that would not have been noticed. The kids on the Northside of town had inadvertantly set us up.
I don’t condone what i did, but needed a bedframe and a bookshelf, and that shit was so close…
Thankfully I have managed to avoid the legal system for 29 years. well to be honest not entirely, but that is a more recent devopment involving, our medical system.
I hope that you enjoyed the story, I think it is a good one.
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You’re familiar with the tastes of embalming and dead-bodily fluids?
Not sure about the embalming fluids. I know what formaldehyde (formalin) tastes like but I don’t know what else goes into embalming fluid. As for dead body fluids, I know what they smell like, that’s for sure. From freshly dead to floater dead or crispy critter dead. Did you know that cirrhotic livers smell very different than healthy ones?
I am not going to discuss the time I decided to separate water into hydrogen and oxygen using rectified house current but without a proper container for the hydrogen. Because nothing at all happened. Those scorch marks were always on the ceiling.
Let’s apply the racism to they gheyz!
Now they’re all going to join the military and have ALL THE GUNS AND TANKS AND STUFF!
Goto: pantshit.exe
god I love you guys. These are some of the greatest stories I ever heard.
Provider, I would be so honored to be part of the crew. Happy Birthday again.
Speaking of dumb pranks, anyone ever lit magnesium on fire with a welding torch?
Wouldn’t that be pantsuit.exe? Or are they only shitting down one leg?
Well…………..I am long on book learning and imagination and short on practical mechanics – so at 8 I enlisted my 12 year old friend Tony to help me. This guy was great with mechanics and practical knowledge and extremely short on imagination and common sense. We were the perfect devilish team omg.
Holy fucking shit, I almost lost a lung from laughing Sawyer. my god. This thread filled with the adventures of the nefarious is gonna be legend. And will be copied to my hard drive the minute it is over. there might be enough material here to inspire a book, and i have been on the look out for an angle of inspiration for at least 20 years.
Thanks guys, this has been one of the funniest threads that i have ever read or been a part of. Happy fucking birthday to me! When I win the Nobel Prize for literature, I will definately throwdown the scratch.
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It’s a good story, Provider. If it hadn’t been for those meddling kids [on the Northside of town] you’d have gotten away with it.
When I was a kid, I kinda had this “don’t be an asshole” attitude. I really did not want to make anyone’s life more difficult. I don’t know if that was some internalized “girl” thing, or I’m the just the nice, mellow person I suspect I am.
what_happened_to_all_the_stuff_that_used_to_be_here.
One of the things I like most about WPSucksBalls is the nym appendages. DKW, don’t worry, I will cough up another gag shortly.
FWIW and for those that might not have figured out the gag Provider_UNE represents Provider one from the startrek episode involving quatloos. And the UNE also serves as a stab in the eye to French hating wingnuts. UNE had its start as UppityNegroEmbigulator, with me being uppity and a negro, but generally speaking a well respected guy who tended to embigulate others, which is a reference to one of my favorite Simpsons episodes.
Possibly my favorite variation of my shapeshifting nom de plumery was UnitedNegroEmirates which i cough up during the Dubai port madness. That is pretty much the story in a nutshell. Another gag will be forthcoming, I can assure you.
And i think that it is sweet of you to ask. You are also one of my faves to read, as really are you all.
Now I have to get caught up. and between every word I have written on this thread I have been desparately trying to catch up.
xoxox.
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You know who else was mellow? Yellow.
And nobody got hurt.
And we all learned a valuable lesson.
“Not sure about the embalming fluids. I know what formaldehyde (formalin) tastes like but I don’t know what else goes into embalming fluid. As for dead body fluids, I know what they smell like, that’s for sure. From freshly dead to floater dead or crispy critter dead. Did you know that cirrhotic livers smell very different than healthy ones?”
Smelling’s a good stand-in for tasting, I’d rule here. Stands to reason about the livers.
When I was about nineteen I stole a quart bottle of chloroform from a chemistry lab. I took it to a friend’s house and showed him how to inhale a bit. I told him not to drink any. I pointed out how few molecules we were ingesting by huffing it. You can see where this is heading …
After a while we got in my clunker to go to my house. Dude’s holding the bottle of chloroform, huffing it as we go. All of a sudden he boldly announces, “I’m gonna drink some” and immediately takes a big swig. Next thing you know he’s clutching my arm, causing me to drive off the road …
I got him to my house, he passes out. It was very difficult getting him back into the car and to the hospital: this is a 200+ pound bruiser, dumb as a post. But I checked him in and gave them my bottle of chloroform.
He claimed liver damage, and his mom said she wanted to sure me, but couldn’t on account of how poor they were. I never felt a qualm, and still don’t. This guy would do anything to his body and mind: I witnessed that before and after. Warning him not to drink chloroform just piqued his curiosity. Not my fault.
SUE me.
Thanks BBBB! For a long while i wasn’t looking forward to this one. But it is what it is. 🙂 i am basking at this point in memories of the past.
Jennifer is also granted membership into the crew as is B^4. Not that I figure myself in command or anything, but it being My birthday, I don’t feel bad about making myself the selector of a crew of misfits.
🙂
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There were plenty of backroads and gravel pits.
Thank god for those. :),
And thank you very much S. cerevisiae.
.:)
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I knew it! I had a hunch Provider’s nym came partly from that old Trek episode (The Gamesters of Triskelion IIRC), and a Simpsons fan as well?
Way cool!
Waitaminnit. If today is yer birfsday and you live in Indianapolis…
Thankfully I do not live in Indy, but in a big ten school dominated town where Bobby K used to coach (thank dog he is gone). Oh and i have been drinking, while enjoying myself thouroughly.
And you have been cracking my ass up.
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Some how the ability to type is strangely existant. I assure you that the fat fingers will come into play soon.
🙂
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Oh and something is always wrong in the state of indiana.
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You know WHO ELSE knew what formaldehyde tasted like? Bela Lugosi, that’s who!
GH – in one of my college incarnations I worked as a Diener. The pathos had me do a fair bit of the post myself so it was rather fulfilling. One time we had a kid in whose head head was smashed by a big log falling off a logging truck. The patho was trying to dictate the various fractures in his skull and after a few moments said “Go have a coffee. I need to go get my anatomy book, I can’t remember all these damn skull bones.” I had recently had gross anatomy so I smiled, pushed him slightly aside and said “Fractures extend across the sphenoid bones bilaterally and Through the squamosal suture…” or some such shit. He just smiled and let me go on. Upon finding out I was a med student (bizarre program where I was a 19 year old in med school) and from thence onward he let me do a lot more of the work.
Even though he came to like and support me he still berated me for dropping off a brain over in radiology in a metal bedpan. I just put the bedpan, draped with a cloth, on the counter at the control desk and said “need some shots..” As I was walking out I heard shrieks. *I* thought it was hilarious.
And you have been cracking my ass up.
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Omg, your ass was crackless? Good thing we’re here.
Actually I should give that chloroform-drinking guy some credit. When I met him he was tutoring algebra for extra cash. Very bright then, very curious. But disadvantaged … He just went off the deep end, esp. with meth. He was a very handsome guy: looked like Val Kilmer if V.K. had to train for an action role. (Good genes, youth, construction work, and lotsa meth had that effect.) And the poor bastard had a ten-inch dick.
Maybe he pulled himself together at some point. Last I saw, he was a derelict. A tip of the beer to him, wherever he is.
I am not going to discuss the time I decided to separate water into hydrogen and oxygen using rectified house current but without a proper container for the hydrogen. Because nothing at all happened. Those scorch marks were always on the ceiling.
N_B is in. the attempts at death defying, and maniputain seem to be strong with this crowd. I fear that jennifer is not only beat me to the punch as a novel based on this thread is concerned, but that it will be better than mine.
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hey I think we should all be part of the crew, and I think you are well qualified to be the boss of that Provider.
Srsly tho, I want to say something to you folks. You guys give me a reason to check in every day since Patrick’s death. I won’t say I was ever suicidal like he was (I totally never have been) but when something like that happens you kind of lose your, well, ENTHUSIASM for living you know? I’ve been sorta lost in the shadows since February, and then I come here and remember why I like being around. I haven’t laffed this hard in I don’t know when. And when you’re where I am, that’s important.
xoxoxoxxo
Speaking of dumb pranks, anyone ever lit magnesium on fire with a welding torch?
Not me!
if you promise to keep secrets, you are in as well. having displayed what I would call a certain amount of panache.
;0
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I have decided that Cory Booker (Mayor of Newark, NJ) is a total badass, and therefore so have you.
The dude is ON IT.
He’s kind of a super hero.
When I was a kid, I kinda had this “don’t be an asshole” attitude. I really did not want to make anyone’s life more difficult. I don’t know if that was some internalized “girl” thing, or I’m the just the nice, mellow person I suspect I am.
Honey, every crew can use a super ego, as much as i hate it, limits do need to be set. You get badge number ten and the moniker “Decimator”: your main job being to orchestrate limits to the mayhem.
🙂
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After wigging through the comments at American Stinker on the subject of this post, I see a silver lining. If the wing-nuts do decided to throw-down with “liberals”, nothing would go like they thought it should go or would look like they thought it should look. They would be dis-delusion-ed.
Speaking of dumb pranks, anyone ever lit magnesium on fire with a welding torch?
That depends. What’s the statute of limitations on that sort of thing?
Pupienus — interesting stuff. It’s good to learn about “dieners” and your path.
I avoid gore. In day-to-day life, that usually means fake gore. No gross-out horror movies. Life is bad enough without that soul-polluting crap. I’ll read about real-world atrocities and unfortunate events …
I have learned to protect my wife from disturbing media. Many people do not understand that some trauma and abuse victims cannot “enjoy” this or that. Luckily, neither do I, although not much (fiction) can put me off my feed.
What’s the statute of limitations on that sort of thing?
Was there a body count?
Warning him not to drink chloroform just piqued his curiosity. Not my fault.
Even though you hung with the guys we try to avoid, you are in like flint, Golem.
Another good one.
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I didn’t do it. Just witnessed it as a wee lad. My dad thought it would be a good home-made fireworks on 4th July 1968 and it was an awesome display, but quite stupid and dangerous and left a permanent hole where the concrete driveway melted away. Mom didn’t like it so much.
He’s kind of a super hero.
If you all get a chance, check him out on Rachel Maddow from today’s show. He puts Obama’s sudden support for equal marriage in a damn good perspective. He NEEDS to run for preznit in 2016. (Or maybe a couple of terms in the House and go in 2020)
That depends. What’s the statute of limitations on that sort of thing?
HAHAHAHA! Best comment of the thread, fo sho.
I was planning to or at least thinking about building a fire on the back porch but I just can’t walk away from one of the funniest threads that i have ever had the pleasure to read.
And you have been cracking my ass up.
In a totes heterosexual way. Alas.
CMON – THIS BLOG HAS BEEN WORRISOMELY DEVOID OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT LATELY!
“I’ve been sorta lost in the shadows since February, and then I come here and remember why I like being around.”–rosebuddear
I haven’t yet said anything directly to you, but you know, I read what you write, and I feel for you, from experience. I won’t claim any credit for helping you — that’s not my point — but I’m glad to hear reading/posting here is helping.
Way cool!
I am nothing if not a nerd crossed with a dork. And strangely enough crossed with an athlete and a mechanic. 🙂
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golem, thx for that………….you know, I totally caught that stuff about dieners too………………….ewwwwww. Glad I never took a drink out of the fountain at Patrick’s funeral. (ok, that was just pointlessly tasteless haha)
Thanks, Provider! … Pointless tastelessness, rosebuddear?!!! We have to draw the line at that! 🙂
Historically, glacial cycles of about 100,000 years are interupted by brief warm interglacial periods—like the one we enjoy today. Changes in both temperatures and CO2 are considerable and generally synchronized, according to data analysis from ice and air samples collected over the last half century from permanent glaciers in Antarctica and other places. Interglacial periods of 15,000-20,000 years provide a brief respite from the normal state of our natural world—an Ice Age Climate. Our present interglacial vacation from the last Ice Age began about 18,000 years ago.
Mind, now, that this in no way discounts the concept of anthropogenic global warming. But generally, the world’s a chilly place.
I just knew there would be all sorts of delightful stuff posted to this thread while I was off drinking beer (and to S. cerevisisae — spelling? fuckit! — Yes the Imperial Red @Block 15 you recommended was quite nice, although perhaps I shouldn’t have had three of them?). I haz a bit of dizappoint that there aren’t MOAR crazy stories of silly dangerous youthful shenanigans, but a guy can’t have it all I guess.
Provider: I hope these ridiculous stories have been able to improve your birfday in some virtual intartron way.
I’ll refrain from regaling you all with further exploits, things such as the various times I had, uh, “issues”, when trying to deal $5 bags of pot at my high school to the delightful fun of wandering through town on my first acid trip and randomly having to deal with some wacked-out meth-head-former-suppliers in that situation (hint — jumping dirtbikes across a highway? Childs play in the risk department!).
I survived, with no record, and am an upstanding member of society (hah!), and some really fun, if scary, memories…
May all your childrens have the same luck as I did!
deal $5 bags of pot at my high school
Oh for the days when a dime bag was worth a dime! Does anyonE besides me recall $20 lids?
And to be completely clear to any gubmint agencies that are monitoring this thread: I was a minor at the time of all of these incidents and have long since reformed my ways. Now I just drink
too muchjust the right amount of beer and definitely never ever ride my bicycle around town after imbibing too much of that substance. Evar!True for the last few million years, although there are differing theories about why the climate shifted from the warmer PETM. According to Kaufman et al (2009) the current warming has reversed a 2000 year cooling trend.
Yes. [sigh]
Also $0.79 per gallon gasoline. Too. Well, actually I remember cheaper, but I remember that as what I paid while I could actually drive a car.
I heard talk of $20.00 lids but that was a year before I started smoking pot, and the good stuff didn’t come in “lids”.
Obviously, the high wasn’t as good.
My first exposure to the term “lids” was in a Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comic book in like 1977. Why my parents let me read that stuff is still a complete mystery. SIlly hippies.
Not much in the way of juvenile idiocy to relate, but perhaps a little jocular anecdote will suffice:
When I was circa 14 & lived in the boonies, there was this old disused BBQ pit off the (loooooooooong) driveway. I thought it’d be a wicked kewl foxhole for war-games, so I started chunking away at the bottom of the thing with … what? A shovel? A stick? A board? Ehh … anyway, before too long, I heard the delightful change in the sound my excavation made that could only mean one thing: BURIED TREASURE!
This place was 20 or so miles outside Lillooet, which had been the nucleus of a serious gold-rush in the late 1850s, so I was totally stoked at my impending riches.
Scraping away like a madman, sure enough I found a dilapidated old blue Samsonite suitcase. Hot damn! Tugged that sucker up, breaking the handle halfway off doing so. Went to pop the snaps, & that sucker wasn’t even locked!
I wish I could’ve seen my face when I opened it & looked inside.
My “buried treasure” consisted of about twenty-five or so sticks of dynamite, so old that globs of semi-crystallized nitroglycerin had oozed up out of the sticks like maple syrup.
My redneck stepdad daintily hurled the thing into the deepest part of a local canyon … & nothing happened.
That’s all well and good, Lexicon Devil, but my mom has serious problems with the IPCC report on climate change. Her local weatherman has posted some damning critiques on his blog. I’m afraid the jury is still out.
Ah yes, luck. I used all mine and so now I am extra cautious (most of the time).
The first sack I ever bought was an ounce of seedy brown schwag for forty bucks. I used to keep a steel steak plate under my car seat as a cleaning tray.
gotta go to bed, sweet people. night all. love you.
Gawdammit! How the fuck does somebody run out of olive oil? Fuck!
Wow do I make a fucking great brown ale!
Also, I have now had enough beer that I want a cigarette. That is a crystal clear bat-signal-like sign that I should stop drinking, but it also makes me wonder if our fellow sadlies have fared well in their nicotine cessation plans mentioned oh those many threads ago…?
OBS — I think I learned the term “lid” from that same source. I vaguely recollect George Carlin using it, too. By the time I purchased (as opposed to smoked others’) pot, a $20 ounce woulda been homegrown you’d be lucky to sell at any price. Or I suppose, just possibly, part of a quarter-pound of weak stuff. There certainly were people in the Coachella Valley who’d attempt to peddle that.
It’s tough getting that current to go to the right place. I remember trying to pry it out of the socket with a knife and it got angry.
Also, I have now had enough beer that I want a cigarette. That is a crystal clear bat-signal-like sign that I should stop drinking, but it also makes me wonder if our fellow sadlies have fared well in their nicotine cessation plans mentioned oh those many threads ago…?
Free of cigarettes one year, July 4th, 2012.
My day in photos. “Dear Diary…”
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Yeah, it was a cut’n’paste, not gonna deny it. Couldn’t find the old National Geographic magazine from the mid-seventies with the the three page fold-out illustrating historic glaciation/interglacial periods. And of course, the jury is still out. All I’m sayin’ is, we’re living in part of a looooong cycle, and that, as well as anthropogenic factors, has to be taken into account when yr looking at the big picture. As I believe was your original point.
Excellent news JP!
Does anyonE besides me recall $20 lids
Fuck, I remember 50-cent packs of cigarettes. 50 cents wouldn’t even pay half the taxes on a pack now.
Goddamn, I’m getting old.
Lexicon Devil — I’m sorry I wasn’t more direct. I didn’t mean to troll you.
I trust the expert consensus on climate change. My mom and her weatherman are ideologues, wingnuts. Mom doesn’t have a high school diploma or much skill at critical thought. Her problem with the IPCC report on climate change is that not all the scientists who contributed signed off on the top-level findings. Perhaps you remember that wingnut talking point. To buy it, you’d have to think that everyone working on some subsidiary portion of the report would rightfully, logically, “sign off” on the whole thing. Hundreds of specialists, all making nonsensical synthetic assertions: opinions, no more or less. Mom does not know how scientific work proceeds. Nor does her weatherman: he’s an obvious hack and a conspiracy theorist.
My veiled comments on this topic (and evolution) were spurred by the idea that understanding science would be a pre-requisite to lay-persons’ provisionally accepting its claims as we go forward.
“Okay. But let me ask you something: do you understand evolution? or, for that matter, climate science?” > If I understand, that was a quoted conservative’s attempt to argue against liberals’ general deference to expertise (as opposed to their own understandings). Given enough time, I’d get into how my trust in science differs from religious.
… from religious BELIEF.
Obama’s real birth certificate was stashed on Mars, but the Whitey Tape is on the moon.
but the Whitey Tape is on the moon.
A rat done bit my sister Nell, but she was a composite of all my sisters, so couldn’t be tracked down to verify.
all my sisters
JP is the sistern expert.
FYWP!
Just lost a whole goddamn screed there.
In short, it’s this idea that unless you have an understanding of any given scientific finding that is commensurate with that of the finder you have no basis on which to judge its validity.
Fuck that. One doesn’t need to have read Origin of the Species to understand the basics of evolution, and to see that it’s the most logical explanation for what we see. I couldn’t understand Newton’s Principia if my life depended on it, but I’m still fairly clear on how the principles therein govern pretty much all of the physical world we inhabit. And so on.
Its pretty straightforward to me that any rational, reasonably intelligent person can make sense of the world through a combination of a basic understanding of a few scientific principles filtered through a lens of common sense.
Of course, when it comes to wingnuttia, you’ll see where that concept falls down.
After wigging through the comments at American Stinker on the subject of this post, I see a silver lining. If the wing-nuts do decided to throw-down with “liberals”, nothing would go like they thought it should go or would look like they thought it should look. They would be dis-delusion-ed.
And any number of -eds. If this thread proves anything among our cohort are a bunch of crafty bastards that can withstand inoordinate amounts of pain and keep on rolling, yourself included. And of course If I have gailed to invite you, you are a member of my dream teenage crew.
This is beginning to feel like a fantasy football draft, and I am almost certain that I am at least the second person to make this observation.
🙂
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see that it’s the most logical explanation for what we see.
Spiffy sentence construction there, guy.
That depends. What’s the statute of limitations on that sort of thing?
Would you guys stop making me chase the cat out of the room please!
Spent the last hour hanging with the roomie started talking about this thread and then sharing stories.
On the one hand I am way behind, but on the other I have a lot of hilarious shit to read to be sure. I will be responding to shit from the last hour in bits and parcels as is my way, but i hope to catch up soon.
I love you guys.
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Provider, happy birthday again in case you missed it on the last thread.
Also, I seem to recall that at one time, UNE stood for “United Negro Emirates.” That’s how fucking old I am.
As for the not-smoking thing, I’m coming up on one year sometime around mid-May. I’d have to look up the exact date – 16th or 18th, I think.
Lexicon Devil — I’m glad you replied before I went to bed. Very well put. I’m sure your screed was worth reading, hehe.
Gawdammit! How the fuck does somebody run out of olive oil? Fuck!
Really bad attempt to cook eggplant?
Also, I seem to recall that at one time, UNE stood for “United Negro Emirates.” That’s how fucking old I am.
And you would be right missy! Ahem
And thank you for the birthday wishes, my dear.
🙂
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Gawdammit! How the fuck does somebody run out of olive oil? Fuck!
Question and answer all in one line.
Gawdammit! How the fuck does somebody run out of olive oil? Fuck!
Not cooking with the stuff enough?
Thank dog that I avertated a major league tag fail just then.
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The ahem to Jennifer was in itself a major tag fail about the UnitedNegroEmirates.
We cant be all winners all the time.
So what other crazy shit has a body done, I think I have spilled all of my beans on this thread.
..
gailed=failed. pardon the whateveritwaskididthere.
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McSweeney, you magnificent bastard – I’m linking your snark!
My day in photos. “Dear Diary…”
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Nice pitchers, and i have notice that you have stolen my
penny dropperiod thing that I stole from Jenny from the blog, and because I stole it first…because… SHUT UP THATS WHY!Don’t make me change to a tilde ’cause that is belongs to meander and thunder.
*
Question and answer all in one line.
I would like to take this comment to a fine restaurant, and talk dirty afterwards, then make sweet sweet love with it.
*
Yeah, that’s right Bitches. Get used to it.
. apropo of nothing
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I guess that I should probably pass on to sleepy time. y’alll are some of the funniest bastiges that I have had the pleasure of communing with. And you helped make my natal anniversery on of the best in recent memory. Thanks you all.
Hug and kisses.
K to the x
*
…dream teenage crew.
Hmmm, Provider. Draft me at twenty-eight. It was a PERFECT age for me and men from 18 to 24. POGO!!!
Will start visiting your website soon.
Happy birthday, Provider, but before I go …
The concept of United Negro Emirates gives me pause. If negroes form emirates, I’ll have to object as vigorously as when arabs do that. I mean I haven’t yet objected, but I’ll have to start.
All manner of orientalist hijinks are verboten. Do not become inscrutable to me. If you are over-extended in your duties, do not employ a satrap. Do not acquire a harem, or eunuchs (however crafty). To protect your person, eschew giant loincloth-wearing bald dudes with two-handed scimitars. Janissaries are right out.
I managed to make do with the tiny bit of olive oil dregs I had. Now there’s a frost advisory for tonight. I blame algore.
Don’t think of it as getting old. Think of it as a second opportunity to call bullshit on a world that you were once too young and foolish to fully understand.
And how; the problem with the ‘habitable zone’ theory of exoplanetary life location is that the Earth itself only qualifies if you cheat and count the atmosphere – by the inverse square law and reasonable assumptions about planetary heating alone, the third planet from the sun at this point in the sun’s lifecycle should be cold enough for brine to freeze, thus making carbon-based life difficult or impossible. (In fact, it might have been the development of life earlier in the Earth’s lifetime that made life possible over the the last several hundreds of million years – a pleasing little evolutionary catch-22.)
Hallelujah! It’s a Maymas miracle!
No despotism, hydraulic or otherwise. Forget about flashing steel or dancing swords or whirling dervishes. If you have to tell tales of anything, make them grotesque. New lamps cash or credit.
Treat this as a list of items strictly off-limits.
All that goes triple for if it’s on an alien planet two eons in the future. You’re not fooling nobody, Herbert.
Also $0.79 per gallon gasoline. Too. Well, actually I remember cheaper, but I remember that as what I paid while I could actually drive a car.
True, but I seem to recall making $2.79/hour back then. Gas went to $1.00 around 1979 (Iran-Iraq War) which was pretty expensive for the time.
Adjusted for inflation the cheapest it’s ever been was in the 1990s.
The problem with working nights is that sometimes I wake up at 2:00 AM for no good reason on my days off. This is one of those times.
Give haitch-dubya this: when he spilled American blood for oil, he got a way better deal.
I like this one.
Or, as the late Tommy Cooper would say, “Just like that!”
From where I’m standing, it’s just a pale blue dot.
A mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam, shared with Canada.
… Canada would exploit the oil in its vast tar sands reserves “regardless of what we do.”
Fuckin’ sharing. How does it work?
The concept of United Negro Emirates gives me pause. If negroes form emirates, I’ll have to object as vigorously as when arabs do that. I mean I haven’t yet objected, but I’ll have to start.
First of all Thank you.
Golem it was simply a gag that happenned to fit the initials, while making fun of the Dubai ports deal at the same time. As a long term amatuer Historian I have long been aware of the Balfour Declaration, the arbitrary partitioning of the Middle east and the conception of Sat traps all around, nor should anyone consider me an imperialist.
An iconoclast? Crazy mixed up teenager? Rebel? Mad Scientist? Tough SOB? Bugfuck crazy neologist?
These things I will cop to willingly..
Hmmm, Provider. Draft me at twenty-eight. It was a PERFECT age for me and men from 18 to 24. POGO!!!
Will start visiting your website soon.
Wiley you are too kind, and also a crafty bastige ( though it occurs to me that I should see if what I think of as a word I made up is really a word). While it shows up in the Urban dictionary, I have always considered my version a term of respect.
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Treat this as a list of items strictly off-limits.
While every band I have been in was primarily an “original outfit” in my first one we covered that song, though as a surfy instremental.
I don’t think I have ever heard the original before.
Thanks alec.
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MK I hope you find your way back to the, or found your way back to, the bounds of dreams.
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in my first one we covered that song, though as a surfy instremental.
Which was actually a cover of the Ventures version. Thanks, and praise be to the Utube.
I also learned from the Chubby Checker link about the existence of the Kosher Nostra.
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A little rock / Misirlou history: “Misirlou” (from Ottoman macaronic “Egyptian girl”) is a staple of East Mediterranean music. The association with Jewish music is probably via the small but culturally exuberant Greek Jewish community. I don’t think Chubby Checker is Jewish – I have been wrong before – but in the mists of history before nationalism, pretty much all culture east of the Danube melts together in the Western imagination. (Especially the American imagination, in large part because we’ve historically had too few Sephardim or Albanians or Armenians to fill more than a city block, so the expedient thing to do for new immigrants, when they didn’t move to the Midwest and found their own flyspeck prairie towns, was to recreate the Ottoman Empire in the new country.)
Dick Dale, whose family hails from Lebanon, was a big deal in surf rock at the time it developed. (He’s still an incredible guitarist now, at 75.) He helped define the sound, and someone bet him he couldn’t play a whole song on one string. Recalling his uncle playing “Misirlou” in such a way on the oud, he won the bet and that’s why the instrumental is a rock staple.
I remember twenty-five cent slices of pizza.
Dick Dale, whose family hails from Lebanon
Dick Dale, Danny Thomas and Jamie Farr are the only other Lebanese Americans I can name readily.
I thought, perhaps incorrectly, that Casey Kasem was Lebanese.
I thought, perhaps incorrectly, that Casey Kasem was Lebanese.
I looked it up – you’re correct.
Woo hoo! Our ranks are expanding!
Oooooh: Rima Fakih! Google images is her friend and yours, Lebanese-American hunter.
Boy, you learn something new every day. I had no idea Casey Kasem was a lesbian.
Yowza!
Let’s go to skool!
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Rima Fakih is seriously hot.
I remember twenty-five cent slices of pizza
Damn. if the za was good I would have been able to gorge myself with the change I would routinely harvest from my fathers chair, or the couch. One might consider it an appropriated allowence. 🙂
I just finished watching this about a British platoon in Afganistan. the lefttenant is my kind of guy. It is a poignant and real tale from the British perspective. Well worth a glance if you are up to the sadness.
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They had to photoshop Obama into the picture because he was actually at another meeting watching the assassination of Breitbart. Time machines create these kinds of anomalies when you use them as much as Obama.
Major Kong said,
May 10, 2012 at 13:46
Rima Fakih is seriously hot.
Somewhere, Jamie Farr is weeping.
AlexDe getting an early start on winning the internets.
Boy, you learn something new every day. I had no idea Casey Kasem was a lesbian.
Shhhhhh, it’s supposed to be Lesb-Anon.
Hi group. I’m D-KW, and it’s been twelve hours since I last wore plaid while pining over Hannah Hart.
What’s are the 12 Lesb-Anon steps?
Woo hoo! Our ranks are expanding!
One of my favorite ham radio contacts was with a dude from Lebonon. I had just recently acquired my general class license, had a 100 watts to work with and phone privileges (read using a microphone). We had a nice chat and I was amazed to get so far with my wire loop antenna (erected over 4 trees using a wrist rocket with a fishing reel attached).
Damn, that was a fine antenna, eventually a nice storm broke a part of it.
Sorry, tangents, and whatnot.
In my burg I have only come across three persons of lebonese extraction. They all rocked. It is nice to be able to add a fourth.
And the crew, of course, what with your acumen and suchlike.
I imagine a fleet of Mystery machines filled with Sadlynauts given a mission to protect the innocent and reap Justice upon the World.
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I can’t wait to see what one of you do with this hanging curveball.
🙂
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What’s are?
Provider – I watched that link about the British in Afghanistan. It was a little too close to home, but very interesting.
AlexDe getting an early start on winning the internets.
He’ or she has my early vote. I am a big sucker for time travel and paradoxicals associated.
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1. Recognizing an higher powah.
2. Trading in teh Subaru.
3. Closed toe footwear. Boots don’t count.
Provider – I watched that link about the British in Afghanistan. It was a little too close to home, but very interesting.
Dude, I can only imagine, In fact I thought about you quite a bit while watching it. I also shed a number of tears. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you guys in the field and in the air (and i know that you served in the first of our stupid land wars in Asia, and remember those pictures from Baghdad accompanied by Blitzer (krieg jokes anyone?).)
War is so fucking wrong. We need to find another rite of passage. However do not ever think that I do not appreciate your service, or that of anyone else. I have an extremely active imagination and a vague clue about the bowel evacuating fear that accompanies a charge into battle.
And the fucking kids that get tossed into those maelstroms should at home honing their poop in a bag pyrotechnic related hijink activities (to bring it round the bend as it were)
I think that i neglected to mention that i thought the “is there a statute of limitations” bit was brilliant.
I am sure that i missed a few other requirements to reply in this thread, and for that i apologize.
Anyone want an omelette? I am about to whip one up. potato, onion, garlic will be the feature of the days menu.
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4.) If you find yourself reaching for that plaid shirt, phone a supportive friend.
I have an extremely active imagination and a vague clue about the bowel evacuating fear that accompanies a charge into battle.
I had kind of the opposite problem. My guts would twist up into a ball before a mission. I’d have trouble eating and sleeping.
Then I’d get in the plane and I’d be so busy doing my job that I didn’t even worry about it any more. Even when stuff was getting shot at me, I was too busy dealing with the threat to really be scared of it.
Funny that way – the anticipation was a lot worse than the reality.
5) Get hair extensions.
Made my morning.
Then I’d get in the plane and I’d be so busy doing my job that I didn’t even worry about it any more. Even when stuff was getting shot at me, I was too busy dealing with the threat to really be scared of it.
Funny that way – the anticipation was a lot worse than the reality.
Granted I was not going into war, but that was exactly how if felt about the eve of a bikerace. once the gun went off, I forgot about the fear, or anticipation. on four occasions I have clipped a pedal during a race and simply waited for the rear wheel to come back to earth. This essentially means that I was riding a unicyle (of the front wheel variety) through a turn, and the only thought I gave to the situation was a concern about when i was going to get my drive wheel back (the two times it happened in the same race and at the same corner was due to my enthusiasm to catch up with the lead group)
It wasn’t the video to which I linked but one I watched previously that gave me that sense of dreadful anticipation, I can only attempt to imagine what it was like for the boys three days before d-day. I’ll take the self selected variety over the corporal, captain, colonel, or general selected variety any day.
Btw rounding the last part of a 180 degree bend at 28 mph (in the perfect position to win the race) with the rear wheel in the air, managing to do so without crashing or taking anyone else out remains one of my proudest accomplishments (especially the not taking anyone out) It cost me at the very least third place money (100 bones) but I am convinced that had I waited a fraction of a second later to start pedaling in that corner that i would have walked with the winners purse (250). As it was I did not even finish the race having rolled the rear tire so i pulled into the infield after being passed by a hundred dudes, to avoid the suspention of my racing license.
If their is one video that I wish I had, it would be that ten second clip.
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stupid homonyms, get off my back!
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That’s pretty impressive. Fortunately I’ve only laid my bike down twice – both times was because I was too slow unclipping from the pedals at an intersection.
I cussed something fierce too after putting a scratch on my brand new Colnago.
Scratching the Colnago.
Scratching the Colnago.
It’s an Italian road-bike. Total overkill for someone like me who rides at a blistering 15 mph.
http://i48.tinypic.com/2pob3m8.jpg
I’m throbbing just looking at that.
Well, it is a pretty sexy bike.
Mars need guitars
I like this comment:
I’m with you on the seating arrangements. But I’m going to go with one of these two more likely theories:
(1) Obama chose the sofa because he wanted to sit on the plump, soft cushion of the most comfortable seat that would go with his soft, lazy work ethic. Here he either just arrived from the golf course or he’s getting ready to head out to the golf course.
Great, almost believable wingnuttery! But then he has to ruin it with:
-OR-
(2) Obama was photoshopped into the photo because, obviously, he was with Seal Team Six during the raid on Obama’s compound.
Rima Fakih is seriously hot.
I guess it’s too late to get on that celebrity dating show, huh?
That hurt SO FUCKING BAD. Of course I didn’t bother to tell my parents either, and there’s no doubt that I had a nasty concussion. Of course I didn’t tell my parents either, and there’s no doubt that I had a nasty concussion. I haven’t noticed any lingering effects. YAY ME!
I can’t believe that, hours later, I get to be the one who says I saw what you did there.
Nice looking bike Major! But the frame seems awfully small – how do you mount the motor?
I couldn’t understand Newton’s Principia if my life depended on it, but I’m still fairly clear on how the principles therein govern pretty much all of the physical world we inhabit. And so on.
No reason to feel bad about not understanding the Principia. Don’t nobody understand the Principia. Dude invented calculus, then wrote the whole thing without it, just to prove he could. Fuckin showoff.
Major,
That is a sweet bike. I am in tough straits myself. I caught a serious case of bike snobbery during the 4 years or so I worked at Trek. My current ride is a titanium and carbon fiber LeMond Tete de Course, which is a fine bike especially now that I have geared it so low I can climb stairs on it.* Sadly it is now six or seven years old and a shiny new one with a similar componentry level without my Trek discount is prohibitively expensive.
*my big ride every year is the Horribly Hilly Hundreds, 200k with about 10,700 feet of climbing, so the bike has a compact crankset and a 12-32 mountain bike cassette.
how do you mount the motor?
First you take it to a nice restaurant…
People like this make me sad. Remind me not to go exploring on twitter anymore.
Nice looking bike Major! But the frame seems awfully small – how do you mount the motor?
I’m not allowed to have a motorcycle. She-who-must-be-obeyed has decreed it.
Remember America’s Favorite Racist Lawyer Paul Mirengoff? The guy who wrote on Power Line that the memorial for the victims of the shooting which injured Gabby Giffords was marred by some “Yaqui thing” ooga-boogaing it up? And then was told by his extremely high-powered DC law firm, which just so happens to represent major Yaqui thing interests, that he’d have to either quit blogging or quit his job?
Well, he recently retired from the law. He’s now back at Power Line.
He would like to you know that one African-American Studies professor at UNC-Chapel Hill getting caught inflating the grades of the school’s basketball and football players proves that Naomi Schaefer Riley was right and black people don’t belong in college.
I’ll see your Colnago and raise you a BMC
That picture was from right after I built it. I’ve since upgraded it a bit further, new SRAM X9 drivetrain, bigger hydraulic front brake, different pedals, bars, grips, etc.
Tee hee: http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2012/05/can-a-liberal-be-a-good-person.php
I don’t know that much about mountain bikes but that one looks pretty serious.
AlexDe getting an early start on winning the internets.
Yay! I’m winning!
Now I just have to figure out how to claim my victory without fucking Mitt Romney taking all the credit.
That’s pretty impressive. Fortunately I’ve only laid my bike down twice – both times was because I was too slow unclipping from the pedals at an intersection.
I cussed something fierce too after putting a scratch on my brand new Colnago.
My first time in clipless pedals the same thing happenned to me witnessed by an extremely attractive lady that I was attempting to woo. I felt like an idiot. Honestly I think that happens to everyone on the first couple of rides. sorry about the Colnago (Helluvabike). I felt the same way when I laid my Basso down for the first time which was the only frame I had purchased new. My favorite frames were a second hand Holdsworth which did temporary duty as a MTB after I brazed some cantilever bosses to it to test whether road gauge reynolds 531 was strong enough to take an offroad beating, and then the two frames I built with the stuff.
During WWII they stopped making tubing for bicycles and the stuff was used in the construction of the Spitfire. The Columbus tubing that they used in Colnago at the time was pretty hot as well though i nenver got my hands on any. I had forgotton that you were a cyclist MK. You certainly didn’t fuck around. Do you still have the Colnago?
I still had my Holdsworth (reconverted to a road bike) until some rat bastard stole it about a year and a half ago. I keep my eyes open for a good and cheap source of some 4130 cro-molly as i no longer have a Road bike and have an itch to biuld another frame.
Here is a link to a video about the Scottish rider Graeme Obree who set the world hour record, and records in the 4000 meter pursuit at the world championships on a bike he designed and built himself. And another one that I had never seen about the greatest ever Eddy Merckx Lots of other greatones on the sidebars of that page, if you are interested in the history of cycling.
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Sweet Ride Major.
Pupenius, I know you love your infernal combustion…[slowly shaking head].
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Now I just have to figure out how to claim my victory without fucking Mitt Romney taking all the credit.
Rofl. Good luck.
I’ll see your Colnago and raise you a BMC
Another sweet ride. Damn nice to see some bike porn. how much travel on that thing OBS?
I think i forgot to mention that 52mph down a gravel road is extremely impressive, I dont think we have a hill with a gravel road in these parts that i could even attempt something like that.
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I see that i have gone and bbkf’ed the first link, but fortunately both links work.
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I can’t believe that i am contemplating hitting powerline. In this case and because the fetching and lovely VS has pointed the way, I will don the wetsuits staple Cheney’s dick to a ten foot pole and head over.
*splash*
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Oh, Provider,I’d put on an extree. Those waters are fetid.
AWKWARD.
5″ of rear travel, I actually want to get a 120mm travel front fork for it, the 100mm one that’s on it now makes the head angle just a tad steep.
It didn’t seem all that impressive at the time, but I wouldn’t try it again. It was nice well packed gravel without any ruts or washboard. There’s also a nice flat approach and the bike I used had a 50 tooth big ring to get a good run at the top, then gravity and a good aero tuck did the rest. I don’t do that kind of thing anymore, I much prefer technical singletrack and nice long epic rides.
One of the great things about riding in this area is that we’re on the western edge of a big valley, right up against the Coast Range of mountains — if you want to do a nice long road ride you can head east a bit and be on all the flats or gentle hills you want. Big hills, mountain bike trails, and great twisty roads surround the whole town and extend 45 miles west to the coast.
I am very disturbed by how much I like this.
The AssmunchRocket starts it off as follows.
I guess it is possible that a random winger might stumble upon this thread and think that our tales of teenage hijinks were indicative of insanity and then make a monumental conclusion jump while projecting like an octoplex that it was somehow representative of all left leaning persons. I mean republicans have a serious problem with history and memory and as they are likely to have forgotton doing exactly the same type of shit, they never did it. These Jackanapes were once Time magazines Bloggers of the Year.
Can you fucking believe that this asshole is a lawyer? (I know, see Reynolds Glenda and Althouse Arnie…).
I am an idiot who stays on the democratic plantation because I like massa’s cooking and the thatched roof over my head and working the fields and whatnot.
I think the bastard just found out about David Brooks’s new 4 million dollar digs and wants to get in on a piece of the action.
WTF is twitchy?!?!?!
Anyhoo what follows is a bunch of cherry picked comments from random people on the internets that prove that all liberals are insane.The niggerfication of liberals is nearing completion. You all can pick up your negro cards and little flaming cross patches now.
I look forward to the take of TBogg or Roy on this one. Cerb would stuff this column with dynamite. Imma gonna see if they have comments over there while crossing my fingers that they don’t.
brb
Fuck, they do have comments. In any event Assmunchet ends his piece thusly.
I think I could spend a couple of minutes at free Republic and his own damn comment section and find the shit he finds so reprehensible collected at “twitchy”.
Oh Jeez, I really don’t know why I do this to myself sometimes, I think i’d find wrapping an Ason Martin around a tree more enjoyable.
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Oh, Provider,I’d put on an extree. Those waters are fetid.
Oh, I did.
It also seems that there is a new post up. Dan Blatt being the latest victim put to the skewer.
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One of the great things about riding in this area is that we’re on the western edge of a big valley, right up against the Coast Range of mountains — if you want to do a nice long road ride you can head east a bit and be on all the flats or gentle hills you want. Big hills, mountain bike trails, and great twisty roads surround the whole town and extend 45 miles west to the coast.
Sounds awesome OBS! Lucky Bastard. We do have our share of highly technical single track round here with some nice steep ridges to climb and descend, but i think you have me beat in the off road options department.
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I am very disturbed by how much I like this.
Nice. I love the 70’s vibe of the thing and it does look like it is in pristine condition. Did you ever get busy in one of those back in the day?
😉
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Not one of that particular kind of RV, but an RV? Yeah. “Camping” is fun! I shall proceed to the new thread and leave the hijinx and bicycle pron behind. It has been fun though.
Provider. Twitchy=Michelle Malkin. I learned that from TBogg.
I had forgotton that you were a cyclist MK. You certainly didn’t fuck around. Do you still have the Colnago?
Oh yes. I just bought it last summer. It was only a small scratch and not on the frame itself. My pride was hurt more than anything else.
I also still have my steel frame Bianchi Veloce that I bought 16 years ago.
I’m still riding the Fiori I bought in 1992 with my first ever Real Paycheque (TM).
Every year I say, “This year, I’m upgrading!”, and every year, we need a new damn fence, or a new damn roof, or a new damn car seat or…
Being an adult is a pain in the ass sometimes, and if you saw the seat that came with my Fiori, you’d know what I mean.
Provider. Twitchy=Michelle Malkin. I learned that from TBogg.
thanks boo
Oh yes. I just bought it last summer.
I saw a pitcher, very nice.
My pride was hurt more than anything else.
We’ve all been their. I guarantee you the Greg Lemond pulled the same stunt when he first rode with a pair of looks.
I also still have my steel frame Bianchi Veloce that I bought 16 years ago.
I’ve worked on a few of those im my time, nice rides. I have always liked Bianchi’s
imma gonna head into the wild new yonder with OBS and copy this thread in about an hour.
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Re: They are vicious, intolerant and always vulgar.
Yeah goddammit all to fuck. Why the fuck we can’t we just sit down and shut the fuck up when fuckin Bible-thumping morons and shit-fer-brains conservatards want to show their fuckin tolerance and politeness by taking our mutherfuckin rights away and flushing them down the shitter? They’re the real victims here getting their goddamn fee-fees hurt when they’re just doing what Jeebus would do.
Fuck shit goddammit there’s a fuckin new thread and none of you mutherfuckers bothered to tell me.
RSS you silly person.
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