The American right eats itself, shits itself out, eats itself again, convinces electorate of its righteousness

Newt Gingrich sounds like a minor villain from the Harry Potter series. Anyone else notice that?

I mean the name. Seriously, that’s so obviously a bad guy name.

The American right eats itself, shits itself out, eats itself again, convinces electorate of its righteousness

You only know that because you saw that documentary on the American right… what was it called …. Oh yeah, Human Centipede.

Oh hey, hot redhead.

Loadberg’s shirt is suspiciously clean…

Newt Gingrich sounds like a minor villain from the Harry Potter series.

Really? I always thought that name sounded more like a glandular disease.

Really? I always thought that name sounded more like a glandular disease.

Clearly, his name sounds the dish a chef invented to trick idiots into buying rotten roadkill.

Thus, it is a name of Dickensian perfection.

Oh man, his post is more than three paragraphs this time. I may actually have to read it…

Gingrich thinks compassion should be measured not by inputs but outputs.

Thus the toilet fixation.

The American right eats itself, shits itself out, eats itself again, convinces electorate of its righteousness

2 churls, 1 GOP

Managed to catch her head just as it was falling off her neck, I’m guessing

Gingrich thinks compassion should be measured not by inputs but outputs.

There’s gotta be a joke about Newt’s serial infidelities here.

Similarly, back in the 90’s, Newt showed his compassion for poor kids by suggesting we rip them from their parents’ arms and warehouse them in orphanages.

This is another of Jonah’s attempts to fool someone into shitting into his lap. All he had to do was ask Coulter–she would have scooped some off her dinner plate for him.

For some reason, I am reminded of the old episode of Buffy, when Cordelia asked, in History class, “I don’t understand why everybody is so down on Marie Antoinette. I mean, she cared about the peasants. She even wanted them to have cake!”

SUCK IT WORDPRESS.

None of you can read my comment because WP the stupid asshole vaporized it.

If you’re upset about that, which you are, I advise you to kick WP’s ass.

Oh hey, hot redhead.

She does look like she got a little melted.

If Jonah ever wrote jokes like he writes about politics, it would go like this:

“So three guys walk into a bar, and YOUR MOTHER! HA-HA-HA! SEE BECAUSE I SAID ‘YOUR MOTHER’ IN A FUNNY WAY”

HUH HUH HUH HUH!!

EES FUNNY BECAUSE EES TRUE!

Compassionate conservatism can be loosely summed up as “Eat shit and die, kids”

I think that’s a fuck-shit stack right there.

The degree to which they are jumping through hoops of fire to put a “not that horrible” spin on Newt’s cruelty is mind-boggling. Shit, do they think they can fool Joe Schmoe on this one? Also, fucking Trump talking about an “Apprentice” program with young apprenti? Fucker thinks it’s spelled “Apprentus”.

Veni, vidi, vomiti!

2 churls, 1 GOP

Sir, I am awestruck by the brilliance of this remark and would like to award you this Internet. Please wear it in good health. It brings light, when all around is darkness.

Sir, I am awestruck by the brilliance of this remark and would like to award you this Internet. Please wear it in good health. It brings light, when all around is darkness.

I will proudly display it in the greatroom of my 5,000 square foot home, next to the hot tub.

I will proudly display it in the greatroom of my 5,000 square foot home, next to the hot tub.

Put it on the mantlepiece, under your trophy wife.

Compassionate conservatism can be loosely summed up as “Eat shit and die, kids”

I thought that was regular conservatism; isn’t the compassionate version where they say it with a real pensive look?

Compassionate conservatism can be loosely summed up as “Eat shit and die, kids”

I thought that was regular conservatism; isn’t the compassionate version where they say it with a real pensive look?

You’re right: Compassionate conservatism serves the shit in a pile-higher pie.

No, compassionate conservatism is when they pretend to avert their eyes as they greedily watch you eat shit and die.

You’re right: Compassionate conservatism serves the shit in a pile-higher pie.

…complete with a My Little Pony serving dish.

Gingrich is right about the culture of poverty, but he opens himself to easy rebuttal by speaking so sweepingly and categorically.

Gingrich is sweepingly and categorically right, but easily rebutted by being as right as he is!

Culture of poverty my ASS, and Jonah of all people has a lot of damn nerve to press Newt’s assumption that OTHER PEOPLE are lazy. If he were paid according to effort he’d make a hell of a lot less than some mother working multiple minimum wage jobs to keep her kids clothed and fed as best she can.

I thought that was regular conservatism; isn’t the compassionate version where they say it with a real pensive look?

And then Peggy Noonan pops up and says how concerned she is with all the shit eating going on with the children and wouldn’t it be better if the kids would save some of that shit for their church. Catholic church if possible.

Compassionate conservatism can be loosely summed up as “Eat shit and die, kids”

I thought that was regular conservatism; isn’t the compassionate version where they say it with a real pensive look?

I thought compassionate conservative was serving you the shit on a nice plate, all the while saying, “This is really the best thing for you. If I served you anything else, it would just make things worse.”

If he were paid according to effort he’d make a hell of a lot less than some mother working multiple minimum wage jobs to keep her kids clothed and fed as best she can.

Tig, if we paid people their worth parenting, Jonah would sell condoms.

I tried to explain to my otherwise intelligent conservative brother just how addle-pated and sociopathic this plan is. Finally I made a freaking numeric comparison of average janitor salaries, the alleged money savings of child labor, how that compared to an actual school budget and how it wouldn’t even create one of the things poor schools really need, such as computer labs.

At that point, all I achieved was silence on his end. I guess that’s victory.

And then Peggy Noonan pops up and says how concerned she is with all the shit eating going on with the children and wouldn’t it be better if the kids would save some of that shit for their church. Catholic church if possible.

I’ve often put a dump in the collection plate.

What? It looked like a toilet…

Culture of poverty my ASS, and Jonah of all people has a lot of damn nerve to press Newt’s assumption that OTHER PEOPLE are lazy. If he were paid according to effort he’d make a hell of a lot less than some mother working multiple minimum wage jobs to keep her kids clothed and fed as best she can.

That’s the thing that kills me about Newt’s modest proposal- the poor kids often have parents who are working multiple low wage jobs so that the kids can study so they won’t have to work such jobs. Fucking Newt wants to damn them to multigenerational low wage hell.

Spearhafoc, who put the bomp in the bomp bah shoop bomp bah shoop bomp

FTFY

You know me and my Fifties fixation…

Fucking Newt wants to damn them to multigenerational low wage hell.

NO! He wants them to achieve more! He wants them to eventually graduate and clean floors!

…complete with a My Little Pony serving dish.

Does it have Pinkie Pie on it?

I ask because a friend of mine…knows I really like Pinkie Pie and wants to get it for me for Christmas.

How many pinkies does it take to make a pie?

How many pinkies does it take to make a pie?

Mmmmmm, finger pie…..yum!

2 churls, 1 GOP

Well, shit, Actor already gave you the interons.

Martini?

Mmmmmm, finger pie…..yum!

She’s a horse, you sick fuck!

Newt and Jonah are both lazy scum riding with wingnut welfare gravy train.
~

She’s a horse, you sick fuck!

Lemme see her teeth.

He wants them to eventually graduate

“In five years they give me a brush!!”

Lemme see her teeth.

Here.

Here.

Good bobbing motion…OK, she’s hired.

“In five years they give me a brush!!”

Dammit! I’m fresh outta internets….martini?

Compassionate conservatism can be loosely summed up as “Eat shit and die, kids”

I thought that was regular conservatism; isn’t the compassionate version where they say it with a real pensive look?

No, compassionate conservatism is “Eat shit and die, kids, bless your hearts.”

Compassionate conservatism can be loosely summed up as “Eat shit and die, kids”

No, compassionate conservatism is “Eat shit and die, kids, bless your hearts.”

Actually, thinking on it more, it’s “Eat shit and die, kids. You black kids can have seconds!”

Fantastic photoshop btw. As usual.

I love the “Newt Gingrich is just suggesting a way in which kids can learn the value of hard work” backpedaling here: as if there is no such group as the working poor who work harder than, say, Newt Gingrich and as if no poor kid knows anyone who works a backbreaking job like, say, as a janitor (does Newt think that janitors are in the 1% or something?) … if anything, we should have the children of the wealthy, who don’t have to clean toilets at home because the maid does it and who will eventually grow up to live off their parents’ $$$ rather than toiling for their bread, clean the toilets to teach them the value of work.

But what really caught my eye was this old and musty mango (that J-Load no doubt thinks is an “argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care”) —

The liberal bureaucratic mindset seems to define compassion simply as spending more money on systems and policies that have made problems worse and keep the usual special interests happy.

which begs the question of whether liberal systems of policies actually have made the problem of poverty worse. People like J-Load seem to conveniently forget how bad things were before the New Deal and Great Society. At the very least, they forget that the Great Depression started for many farmers, etc., well before the crash of 1929 and that “the normal business cycle” as understood pre-Keynes as “inevitable” resulted in regular panics, recessions and depressions in which huge numbers of people became desperately poor.

Reactionaries argue as if their concept that liberal social and economic programs have perverse effects is something we all agree on and forget to check and see whether their assumption actually is, you know, true. Of course, we all know that facts have a well-known liberal bias …

Fucking Newt wants to damn them to multigenerational low wage hell. – BBBB

According to J-Bob Doughpants, that is way too compassionate of a tack to take.

How many pinkies does it take to make a pie?

How many cupcakes can you make out of a Rainbow Dash?

The liberal bureaucratic mindset seems to define compassion simply as spending more money on systems and policies that have made problems worse and keep the usual special interests happy.

Oh! The Department of Defense is liberal?

….martini?

Well, it IS five o’clock where YOU are, so I’m cool, right?

Well, it IS five o’clock where YOU are, so I’m cool, right?

It’s been past five here for twelve hours, the way I see it.

Gingrich is right about the culture of poverty

When Gingrich spoke of the poor neighbourhoods where children never saw any income sources other than stealing and dealing drugs, I wasn’t sure whether he meant ex-mining towns in the Appalachians, or inner cities. Perhaps someone could advise.

I agree with Tlazolteotl — this is a great headline!
.

The story spread partially because of Watkins’ reported insistence that the dead animal was a somewhat rare marten.

Narturally the martinets were up in arms.

I will proudly display it in the greatroom of my 5,000 square foot home, next to the hot tub.

Which, it should be noted, no one here has any butthurt for never being invited.
.

I just noticed that the location of the seat/lid in the pic above is incorrect. It should be over his mouth, no?

I heartily suggest to Newticles and his hideous animatronic blow-up doll of a wife that they may want to actually engage in some of this “work” themselves first before espousing how other people need to experience it.

It’s good news that breaking into your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s house to throw a dead mustelid at him is NOT ILLEGAL. Mustelid tossing covered by the First Amendment!

I will proudly display it in the greatroom of my 5,000 square foot home, next to the hot tub.…and your 14 inch penis.

Remember when conservatives pretended that at least child labor was a bridge too far?

Now, we’ve got them focus testing legislation and actual “serious forerunners” for nomination openly talking about it like it was some great policy decision.

I know shame is something that conservatives are immune to and the less human you are, the more you’re loved by the Base 27%, but you’d hope there’d be a point where everyone else in the country would suddenly slam on the brakes and go “wait, did he just say we should bring back child labor as a serious policy suggestion? What the fuck”.

Apparently getting the 27% and the mushy middle to go along with torture proved to conservatives that there is no low you can sink to that the media won’t fluff as a “brave new plan” that “dares to ask the tough questions”.

Fuck, you couldn’t do A Modest Proposal these days, because it’d be pre-empted by a Republican governor or presidential fore-runner debuting their “Solution for Food Shortages in Poorer Districts” Plan.

“Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works,” Gingrich explained recently in Iowa when asked to clarify his position. “So they literally have no habit of showing up on Monday. They have no habit of staying all day. They have no habit of ‘I do this and you give me cash,’ unless it’s illegal.”

i got to this line and i got so motherfucking pissed off that i could hardly read the the rest of this shit jonah calls *work*….FUCK!

really? the other kids (the ones who aren’t really poor) just auto fucking matically know how to go to work? is there some sort of osmosis in their homes that aren’t in the ghettos? i mean, what. the. fuck? and, as it’s been pointed out earlier…the fucking newt gingrich talking about how *some* kids don’t know how to fucking work or show up on a goddamn monday because their fucking parents don’t fucking work apparently is just too goddamn fucking precious…

Culture of poverty my ASS, and Jonah of all people has a lot of damn nerve to press Newt’s assumption that OTHER PEOPLE are lazy. If he were paid according to effort he’d make a hell of a lot less than some mother working multiple minimum wage jobs to keep her kids clothed and fed as best she can.

The one and only thing that keeps conservatism alive is that their shitty and stupid ideas sound good to people who are (mostly) unable and (sometimes) unwilling to put the effort into thinking about it. If the working poor ever got wise to their bullshit, they would be buried in an unmarked grave next to the Dixiecrats.

It’s good news that breaking into your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s house to throw a dead mustelid at him is NOT ILLEGAL.

A victory for dead mustelids everywhere.

I heartily suggest to Newticles and his hideous animatronic blow-up doll of a wife that they may want to actually engage in some of this “work” themselves first before espousing how other people need to experience it.

Writing historical fiction and keeping your name in the top ten list of all time douchebags could be considered work.

Newt is fatter than algore. Does this call climate change into question?

actually, i’ve been simmering since the other night when i heard some stupid fucking bitch making fun of the *starving* muppet…she was all, if we have all these programs like schip, food stamps, wic, etc. why is this girl muppet starving? she shouldn’t be starving with all that help out there!’

i had to physically stop myself from hurling my tv out the window while screaming, ‘you stupid soulless bitch…first of all, she wasn’t *starving*…they just didn’t always have food in the house…and there can be all the goddamn motherfucking programs in the world, but if you are over the pitifully small income limit and are working to try to support your family like a good patriotic fucking american, you don’t FUCKING QUALIFY…and you still don’t MAKE ENOUGH GODDAMN MONEY TO FEED YOUR FAMILY!!!’

and then fucking newt comes along with this bullshit…kids in dire straits is not fucking laffing matter and i’m sick and tired of these assholes acting like they are…

wow…i feel a little better now…

okay…i’m off to pick up my daughter…have a nice dinner with her and hubbkf and then go to a special olympics meeting…have fun y’all…and no peeing or pooping in the hot tub while i’m gone!

Okay, I’m going to mango this bitch. Please pray to whatever gods you may for the safety of my soul.

Newt Gingrich wants to pay poor kids to clean toilets.

Otherwise known as child labor.

And all of the right people are horrified.

Because it’s child labor.

The Nation says Gingrich is running on “a platform that seems to have been written by the unreformed Ebenezer Scrooge.”

Rather forgiving a response to someone literally arguing for the return of child labor.

The editors of the Newark Star-Ledger proclaim Gingrich wants to “bring back the days of Oliver Twist.”

Yes, that would be the days back when child labor was legal, before works like that of Dickens helped fuel the LIBERALS of the time to work their asses off increasing labor rights to the point where they could ban the aforementioned child labor.

The host of “Meet the Press,” David Gregory, suggests Gingrich’s take on the inner-city poor is a “grotesque distortion.”

Again, a rather kind and forgiving way to phrase “Newt Gingrich is so racist he thinks that child labor will learn the place of the escaped slaves”.

This controversy started last month at Harvard, when Gingrich suggested in a speech that perhaps the best way to break the cycle of poverty in inner cities is to break the culture of poverty that sustains it by, among other things, paying kids to do janitorial work.

Wow, all the soft-peddling in the world really doesn’t lessen the impact of “He supported child labor” does it? It’s still there like a big blinking light of “he supported mandatory child labor” no matter how much you try and squint it away. Must suck to be part of an authoritarian movement, where no matter how insane a leader is, you can’t comment too much in case you need to be saying he’s a perfect being who has never said anything wrong in the near future.

“Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works,”

Yes, poor kids know no one who has a job. Sounds like someone is out of touch with real work habits and it’s not some poor ass kids, no matter how duskly hued and “urban” they might be.

Gingrich explained recently in Iowa when asked to clarify his position.

His position of supporting mandatory child labor.

“So they literally have no habit of showing up on Monday. They have no habit of staying all day. They have no habit of ‘I do this and you give me cash,’ unless it’s illegal.”

Yeah, The Wire may have focused on the kids wrapped up in the illegal system, but not everyone living in Murdermore was a fucking criminal. They knew that people worked crappy dead end jobs, most of their parents did and that’s why the appeal of the street hustle was so appealing. Because they saw their parents work 12 hour days, broken and beaten and unable to really afford rent, much less anything else, with no possibility to rising out of the situation, but here’s the drug trade and it’s got the money to buy the fancy shoes that don’t get you beat up on the playground and to actually afford the ability to dream of leaving the streets.

And yeah, you know what else helps, actually helps and not in the “we’ll force them to work the same dead end jobs as their parents to remind them of how much the system hates them and thinks they’ll fail because of their skin color” is seeing people rise out of the projects or rise up the ranks of the system who are their skin color and didn’t have to become a rapper or a hustler or a sports star, but studied hard and worked hours and actually were allowed into the system to become president of America.

Oh, yeah, that’s the thing your racist ass wants stopped. Kids on the street corner being able to dream of rising up the slums you’ve trapped them in. You want their lives snuffed even shorter so they except the permanent hell of poverty even younger and become ever more the drug-infested, illegal economy is the only way to get out scare tactic you need to get white suburban middle class folks freaking out and voting for you en masse.

It’s every much the sick casual hatred for anything with black skin that allowed you to write your fetid dissertation love letter to fucking Belgium in the Congo and to look at people suffering and decide that the solution is motherfucking CHILD LABOR!

It’s not just having little kids work, it’s the idea that firing the kid’s father from a well-paying union job, then making the kid work, will somehow enrich his family.

The other great thing was Newt’s walkback from his child labor position.

Claiming what he said was distorted, he let it be known that kids should not engage in hard and dangerous labor until they were at least 14.

bbkf-

Yeah, I didn’t even bother with UI and the other aid I could have tried for, because the amount was so laughably pitiful that it wouldn’t have paid for groceries, fuck wouldn’t have paid for gas, much less rent and the ability to survive. I don’t know how anyone would be expected to live even on a combination of what is left of the safety net.

It’s like people don’t understand what 0 income means. It doesn’t mean you need money for a candy bar, it means you’ve got no money coming in and since living costs money, you need something to use to eat, pay rent, and keep the electricity and internet on (most businesses require online applications these days).

I look forward to the day when we are no longer held hostage by sociopaths and can actually help people not fucking die instead of bitching about the few pennies we spend on poor people instead of giving people who already can’t spend all their money an extra couple of billion.

i got to this line and i got so motherfucking pissed off that i could hardly read the the rest of this shit jonah calls *work*….FUCK!

Basically, Newt wants to call a spade a lazy, shiftless n*gger so badly that we can taste it– and I’m not sure a tin full of Altoids is going to get rid of that flavor.

Y’all have to remember that Newt is from Georgia. First it was a good idea to enslave black folk, well, just because. Then when that didn’t work out there was slavery by another name. Then there was a long period of “just incarcerate all their men” which is still going on. So child labor is, in their view, a compassionate, humanitarian step up, an advance of civilisation! He’s an intellectual! An idea fountain!

Is this one of Newt’s Big Ideas I’m always hearing about, because he’s such an intelligent Idea Man and all? Good God, what does this intellectual titan have in store next? A return to tenant farming? A sort of neo-Native American genocide where we just straight up gas the inner cities to death and let rich people gentrify them in peace afterwards? Maybe just straight up whips-and-chains slavery? Thank God this country has someone as brilliant as Newt, able to cut through the fog of liberal hippie bias in the media to come up with these ingenious solutions!

And yeah, you know what else helps, actually helps and not in the “we’ll force them to work the same dead end jobs as their parents to remind them of how much the system hates them and thinks they’ll fail because of their skin color” is seeing people rise out of the projects or rise up the ranks of the system who are their skin color and didn’t have to become a rapper or a hustler or a sports star, but studied hard and worked hours and actually were allowed into the system to become president of America.

That’s a great point; Newt is saying kids who are GOING TO SCHOOL don’t know how to show up on Mondays and stay all day so the way to fix that and their futures is to TAKE THEM OUT OF CLASS and make them work menial jobs. Jesus, Professor, way to emphasize the importance of education.

Sorry bout that, Manquecito.

Alex- That too, hey replacing a family member with a less well paid, less protected child laborer will totally instill…a feeling that if they stabbed Newt Gingrich and stole his pocket money that their lives couldn’t physically be any worse.

Okay, more mangos.

It’s a classically Gingrichian spectacle, illuminating a lot about the presidential candidate, but also about his critics and his swarming ranks of fans.

Yes, it’s a classic Gingrich problem, supporting child labor because you want to look like an archaically racist douche. But really that says the most about his critics, those weird people who think that supporting child labor is wrong, the sick fucks, and those swarming ranks of fans who think that child labor is where the Real America is at.

Fuck, we need a new DIckens, because apparently our conservatives are hell bent to literally enact every horror of the Pre-Progressive Days that they can.

Gingrich is a rhetorical yoga swami. As my National Review colleague Kevin Williamson says, he can shove his foot in his mouth while putting his finger on the issue.

Hmm, racist dickweeds think that Gingrich revealing just how rich and dickweed his ideas have always been thinking his ideas are still wonderful and can be tangled from the racism and dickweedery even though that’s what attracted the ideas to them?

Who could have guessed?

Gingrich is right about the culture of poverty, but he opens himself to easy rebuttal by speaking so sweepingly and categorically.

Gingrich is right about the n***er children being lazy coons, now order the Overseer to whip them harder. This cotton crop isn’t going to pick itself and I’m certainly too successful and hard-working running this plantation to do it all myself.

And did he really have to pick toilet-scrubbing as his preferred workfare?

It demeans us rich ponces to remind us that such occupations must exist to ensure our palatial solid gold toilet bowls are not defiled by the course activities of being trapped in this sadly human vessel. May we just ring a bell and have it done out of sight rather than acknowledge a human being is responsible for the magical toilet bowl cleanliness?

Still, what his critics don’t — or refuse to — understand is that he’s not driven by a lack of compassion, but a surplus of it.

Yeah, damnitt, child labor is the liberal compassionate solution. We, the true base, demand a full return to Plantation Slavery. But don’t you dare call us racist.

Also, I’ve figured it out. Compassionate Conservative is recognizing poor and black people exist as you order your limo driver to mow them down, whereas regular conservative is ordering your limo driver to take that shortcut through the poor tenement and asking him if he can do anything about that god-awful screaming sound coming from outside.

The liberal bureaucratic mindset seems to define compassion simply as spending more money on systems and policies that have made problems worse and keep the usual special interests happy.

It’s not true, but I’m the author of the book that said that right-wing fascism was a left-wing invention, if I didn’t say at least one unsupported definitive statement that was absolutely counter to reality, I’d lose my street cred.

Also, this is why we need to bring back child labor, because the liberal bureaucratic decision to end it didn’t solve all labor issues everywhere and probably made it all worse. I don’t know if that’s true, all I know is I want to leer at a half-dressed nine-year old as he tries to scrub my shit-stains from the toilet seat.

Gingrich thinks compassion should be measured not by inputs but outputs. Spending trillions on poverty is beyond simply uncompassionate if you waste the money and make things worse. It’s evil.

And this has what to do with the whole child labor plan again? I mean, leaving aside the initial fail and the follow-up fail that removing a minimum wage job that doesn’t pay the bills to replace it with an even less compensated child labor wage entirely in the hands of the child would solve even less poverty issues.

Oh right, we need to “intellectualize” blatant racism and hatred of the underclass and desires for them to die as “complicated policy positions” that show “true courage” and “moral character”.

Okay, continue. Why yes, child labor is less evil than making sure people have food to eat and a way to keep a roof over their heads. Cause the latter “wastes money” trying to keep n***ers alive.

Also, seriously? Wasting money is the greatest evil? Where were you when the Bush Administration straight up lost pallets of cash in Iraq, or over the fucking military-industrial complex and the straight up billions it robs out of the economy for over-priced sub-functional garbage including straight up protecting things that have never worked and are not needed?

Oh, right, it’s only waste when it keeps a n***er family from dying in the gutters like they deserve for thinking they could escape the Plantation.

I can see why you limit yourself to paragraph long fart posts. It’s not out of laziness, it’s out of compassion for the morality of everyone in a 50 mile radius.

Anyone who wants to understand Gingrich’s views on poverty should read his March 2008 speech at the American Enterprise Institute (where I’m a visiting fellow). Gingrich rejected then-candidate Obama’s suggestion that the legacy of racism combined with a failure to fund education to liberals’ satisfaction “helps explain the pervasive achievement gap” in poor inner-city schools.

Anyone who wants to understand Gingrich’s racist support for the return of child labor, should read (not listen, if you listen you might hear the raw evil in his reptilian voice) his speech wherein he literally poo-pooed the actual factual conclusion of every sociologist who isn’t a hack working for a right-wing think tank on why poor inner cities don’t achieve as much.

I mean, we all know it’s because those n***er coons are genetically lazy and stupid. Unlike us genetically superior white folks. Why just look at my Herculean frame and brilliant deduction skills to see that clearly!

Sorry bout that, Manquecito.

It;s no prob with Bob.

Explains a few things…

BACHMANN: People do find out [in my book] that I did not get asked to my senior prom.

HANNITY: Well, neither did I. And nobody would go with me.

Exactly what does it explain, Dr. Hogeye?

Give us your expert remote diagnosis.

Fuckin’ mangoes:

Still, what his critics don’t — or refuse to — understand is that he’s not driven by a lack of compassion, but a surplus of it.

The comment mangoes are much, much better:

Ceteris Paribus: 12/07/11 10:32

In parlance; Get over yourselves!!!

More delicious schadenfreude, with a soupçon of Brooks bashing:

BarbarianAtTheGate: 12/07/11 08:41

Let me reassure you Jonah – we’re well aware that Newt has activist government tendencies. I guess you never had occasion to do any auto body work – if so, you’d understand that sometimes, the only way to smooth out a dent is to hammer with equal force, in the opposite direction.

Damn, should have worn a second wetsuit, merely one doesn’t completely protect one from the fetid waters of the swamp.

and no peeing or pooping in the hot tub while i’m gone!

I should trademark ‘hot tub club’, print it on thongs and sell them to lib bloggers.

Hogeye Grex, please do a Bill Frist analysis on Michelle Bachmann and Sean Hannity for us.

Eeek! Everyone out of the hot tub!

Cue wave of conservative butthurt.

I should trademark ‘hot tub club’, print it on thongs and sell them to lib bloggers.

Actually you should go throw yourself off a bridge.

B^4, I posted an idea for a gift for you over at my joint.

Damn, should have worn a second wetsuit,

Dude, be careful out there.

Damnitt WP, you ated my post. Going to try and post it again in chunks and if that don’t work I’m going to just do it on my blog and link it back over here when I’m done.

Cerberus, this is very true:

It’s like people don’t understand what 0 income means. It doesn’t mean you need money for a candy bar, it means you’ve got no money coming in and since living costs money, you need something to use to eat, pay rent, and keep the electricity and internet on (most businesses require online applications these days).

And it’s cold comfort for those who don’t live in Seattle or Boston, but if you do, NoCharge.com offers real free, unlimited, no-ads, dial-up internet. Hell, maybe long-distance charges would be worth it to fill out a job application, I don’t know.

Also, again in Seattle, these guys offer programs where you can work for free refurbished computers—I’m sure there are similar organizations elsewhere. Unfortunately, they only hand out Windoze machines that way, but if you go to their actual store T-F, they get a lot of Macs donated and refurbish and sell them really cheap. You can probably still get a g3 iMac running Tiger, which is just fine for light web-browsing (all you can do on dial-up anyway) for $40.

I haven’t been there lately, but their last Craigslist ad I saw said they had eMacs, too, which are actually fine for 99% of people’s real computer needs (vs. what advertising has convinced them they need.)

FYWP, take two!

Alex- That too, hey replacing a family member with a less well paid, less protected child laborer will totally instill…a feeling that if they stabbed Newt Gingrich and stole his pocket money that their lives couldn’t physically be any worse.

Okay, more mangos.

It’s a classically Gingrichian spectacle, illuminating a lot about the presidential candidate, but also about his critics and his swarming ranks of fans.

Yes, it’s a classic Gingrich problem, supporting child labor because you want to look like an archaically racist douche. But really that says the most about his critics, those weird people who think that supporting child labor is wrong, the sick fucks, and those swarming ranks of fans who think that child labor is where the Real America is at.

Fuck, we need a new DIckens, because apparently our conservatives are hell bent to literally enact every horror of the Pre-Progressive Days that they can.

Gingrich is a rhetorical yoga swami. As my National Review colleague Kevin Williamson says, he can shove his foot in his mouth while putting his finger on the issue.

Hmm, racist dickweeds think that Gingrich revealing just how rich and dickweed his ideas have always been thinking his ideas are still wonderful and can be tangled from the racism and dickweedery even though that’s what attracted the ideas to them?

Who could have guessed?

Gingrich is right about the culture of poverty, but he opens himself to easy rebuttal by speaking so sweepingly and categorically.

Gingrich is right about the n***er children being lazy coons, now order the Overseer to whip them harder. This cotton crop isn’t going to pick itself and I’m certainly too successful and hard-working running this plantation to do it all myself.

And did he really have to pick toilet-scrubbing as his preferred workfare?

It demeans us rich ponces to remind us that such occupations must exist to ensure our palatial solid gold toilet bowls are not defiled by the course activities of being trapped in this sadly human vessel. May we just ring a bell and have it done out of sight rather than acknowledge a human being is responsible for the magical toilet bowl cleanliness?

Still, what his critics don’t — or refuse to — understand is that he’s not driven by a lack of compassion, but a surplus of it.

Yeah, damnitt, child labor is the liberal compassionate solution. We, the true base, demand a full return to Plantation Slavery. But don’t you dare call us racist.

Also, I’ve figured it out. Compassionate Conservative is recognizing poor and black people exist as you order your limo driver to mow them down, whereas regular conservative is ordering your limo driver to take that shortcut through the poor tenement and asking him if he can do anything about that god-awful screaming sound coming from outside.

Damn, the second part is what’s triggering WP.

Ok, time for even chunkier.

The liberal bureaucratic mindset seems to define compassion simply as spending more money on systems and policies that have made problems worse and keep the usual special interests happy.

It’s not true, but I’m the author of the book that said that right-wing fascism was a left-wing invention, if I didn’t say at least one unsupported definitive statement that was absolutely counter to reality, I’d lose my street cred.

Also, this is why we need to bring back child labor, because the liberal bureaucratic decision to end it didn’t solve all labor issues everywhere and probably made it all worse. I don’t know if that’s true, all I know is I want to leer at a half-dressed nine-year old as he tries to scrub my shit-stains from the toilet seat.

Let’s keep it rolling WP, you can do it!

Gingrich thinks compassion should be measured not by inputs but outputs. Spending trillions on poverty is beyond simply uncompassionate if you waste the money and make things worse. It’s evil.

And this has what to do with the whole child labor plan again? I mean, leaving aside the initial fail and the follow-up fail that removing a minimum wage job that doesn’t pay the bills to replace it with an even less compensated child labor wage entirely in the hands of the child would solve even less poverty issues.

Oh right, we need to “intellectualize” blatant racism and hatred of the underclass and desires for them to die as “complicated policy positions” that show “true courage” and “moral character”.

Okay, continue. Why yes, child labor is less evil than making sure people have food to eat and a way to keep a roof over their heads. Cause the latter “wastes money” trying to keep n***ers alive.

Also, seriously? Wasting money is the greatest evil? Where were you when the Bush Administration straight up lost pallets of cash in Iraq, or over the fucking military-industrial complex and the straight up billions it robs out of the economy for over-priced sub-functional garbage including straight up protecting things that have never worked and are not needed?

Oh, right, it’s only waste when it keeps a n***er family from dying in the gutters like they deserve for thinking they could escape the Plantation.

I can see why you limit yourself to paragraph long fart posts. It’s not out of laziness, it’s out of compassion for the morality of everyone in a 50 mile radius.

B^4, I posted an idea for a gift for you over at my joint.

I think they are all great ideas. This sort of thing puts me in a holiday mood, makes me want to sing a carol.

Damn it, okay, the last one I can rewrite.

Anyone who wants to understand Gingrich’s views on poverty should read his March 2008 speech at the American Enterprise Institute (where I’m a visiting fellow). Gingrich rejected then-candidate Obama’s suggestion that the legacy of racism combined with a failure to fund education to liberals’ satisfaction “helps explain the pervasive achievement gap” in poor inner-city schools.

Anyone who wants to understand Gingrich’s racist support for the return of child labor, should read (not listen, if you listen you might hear the raw evil in his reptilian voice) his speech wherein he literally poo-pooed the actual factual conclusion of every sociologist who isn’t a hack working for a right-wing think tank on why poor inner cities don’t achieve as much.

I mean, we all know it’s because those n***er coons are genetically lazy and stupid. Unlike us genetically superior white folks.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early Bell Curve, what racism it held, that right-wingers will quote religiously.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early Bell Curve, what racism it held, that right-wingers will quote religiously.

Science, wingnut style.

Sheesh, that took way more effort than it should.

I suppose I should finish what I started and complete ripping this mango apart.

“That is simply factually false,” Gingrich declared. “The Detroit schools are the third or fourth most expensive schools in America. They’re a disaster.” Washington, D.C., schools — perhaps the most expensive in the country — don’t languish because of racism, Gingrich explained. They’re bad because D.C. “has an incompetent bureaucracy, a failed model of education, a unionized tenured system. It is utterly resistant to improvement. That has nothing to do with racism.”

Studies?

Why no, those don’t matter in wingnut land. If it’s not the n***ers fault for being lazy it has to do with “too much government”, especially now that we’ve successfully demonized teachers, by far one of the most underpaid and hard-suffering group of do-gooders out there. Fuck, we might openly campaign against Motherhood and the cuteness of kittens in 2012 just to show we can. We’re the GOP bitch, ain’t nothing holding us back now!

He noted that when Newsweek asked Oprah Winfrey why she went to South Africa — and not south Chicago — to open a girl’s school, she responded: “I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools that I just stopped going. The sense that you need to learn just isn’t there. If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don’t ask for money or toys, they ask for uniforms so they can go to school.”

Well, that and she’d be beheaded by the sheer volume of the wingnuts shouting “reverse sexism” for having a girl’s school when boy’s aren’t allowed a boy’s school and wah wah wah, Oprah is a feminist commie pinko traitor rat.

And yeah, motivation is a hard problem in the inner cities, what with the kids not fully believing that education is a path out of the inner city or that they will be allowed to pursue it and with shit like “bad schools” being penalized on the grade assessments by colleges of the star students, racist presidential candidates thinking that inner city kids highest aspiration is to be an underaged below-minimum wage janitor, and the overall lack of give a damn our entire system has for the poor, and espeically the urban poor, yeah I wonder how those kids got the message to give up hope now.

Jackass.

Gingrich probably agrees with the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan more than any other leading conservative. “The central conservative truth is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society,” Moynihan observed. “The central liberal truth is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself.” Yet, a constant theme of Gingrich’s career is a desire to use government to fix the culture. Indeed, there’s no Republican in the field with a more robust faith in the power of government.

I’ll give Jonah this. This is a pretty impressive piece of wingnuttery. He was given the impossible hack task of “make the current frontrunning nominee for the Republican Party look better after they just supported a return to child labor” and is doing his damndest to spin it as the evil liberal teacher conspiracy to steal your money and waste it on black kids. We make fun of him for lucking into a job he doesn’t work at all on, but here he shows that he is at least marginally talented at the only job that is always hiring these days. That is, making wingnut ideas and candidates at least have the gloss of seriousness the media hacks need to pretend that everything is a case of “both sides do it” and other horse race politics concerns.

So there is that.

I’ll give Jonah this. This is a pretty impressive piece of wingnuttery. He was given the impossible hack task of “make the current frontrunning nominee for the Republican Party look better after they just supported a return to child labor” and is doing his damndest to spin it as the evil liberal teacher conspiracy to steal your money and waste it on black kids

Yeah, Newt says something indefensible, and Doughbob, paradoxically, manages to defend Newt while characterizing his odious position as “liberal”. Of course, only a sociopathic moron could possess the cognitive dissonance to fall for such a gambit.

That’s the irony of the Gingrich surge. All of these GOP voters and Tea Party activists who once supported Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain and are now flocking to Gingrich seem not to have noticed Gingrich’s progressive bent.

And there’s the frightening jerk back into what the fuck. I mean, okay, trying to distract everyone from the support for child labor by arguing that any attempts to educate the mud children is money thrown away into a bottomless money pit calculated through the usual wingnut method of making up statistics and citing cases where usually a conservative has looted the treasury or siphoned off the funds that were supposed to go to helping (not to mention missing the point that if all of culture is calling inner city kids mud children who will never amount to anything, that just maybe said kids aren’t complete idiots and have noticed and internalized that shit).

But how is supporting abusive child labor because n***ers are unteachable the “liberal” position in the GOP. I hadn’t realized that supporting child labor had quite reached party platform status yet and you were at least pretending not to be a complete cartoon villain.

I swear, if the GOP wins the 2012 election after the GOP pulled out all the stops to go full on children’s show villain on us, we fucking deserve our third world status.

The primary season began with a race to see how much of the government we could send back to the states.

Hey, you out there in the back, can you hear the dog whistle loud enough? I’m talking about a return to Jim Crow and making sure all those lousy n***ers know their place and never again dream of being president. I need to know you got that, because I’m not sure the whistle is in tune after we temporarily put it away to pretend that our support for Cain erased all the racist things we did before 2012 and everything we’re going to pull out with all the subtlety of Carrot Top in the race afterwards.

Oh, you did. Good. But don’t tell the liberals, they might not have noticed that our temporary support for Cain’s sexual harassment policy (and nothing else) proves that we’re never racist.

We’re now in the phase where the GOP front-runner is proposing janitorial reform in the schools.

Ah, so that’s going to be the euphemism when the child labor bill is passed. The GOP was just passing janitorial reform.

And these shit merchants wonder why even stupid people immediately flinch when the GOP talks about “reforming” medicare and social security.

Also…

CHILD LABOR!

Fuck man, I know you people had to long ago perform a soulectomy to support that gaping hellhole of a political ideology, but for fuck’s sake man, do you people have no low you won’t stoop to with a smile on your face?

Fuck, you’re even trying to knock him out of the race for one of your wingnuts. Are you afraid that Bachmann, Perry, or a last minute tackle by Sister Sarah might support child labor and so don’t want to risk looking too human in case the ravenous horde turns on you too as a secret liberal?

Fuck, when even the most psycho of the wingnuts are frightened of the beast they’ve unleashed, what raw hell is the modern GOP base right now?

A sort of neo-Native American genocide where we just straight up gas the inner cities to death and let rich people gentrify them in peace afterwards?

Here, a little Dead Kennedys for when you tire of hearing Christmas music.

B^4-

So you’ve seen the comments too.

Final thoughts on the piece:

It’s a desperate scramble to try and decouple the open support for child labor (while nonetheless supporting child labor as sane reasonable and a great idea) while embracing all of the racism that Gingrich packed into it to become the next beloved psychotic in the nutjob race.

I don’t know, if it’s a case of how much you’re willing to debase yourself while remaining a white man who isn’t Mormon, then I don’t see how Psycho Perry isn’t going to walk away with it in the end. He’s just the one with the most red meat and as long as Bachmann thinks she has Palin-mentum, he’s not going to be the craziest person on the stage.

Either way, I suspect, or at least, I damn well hope that whatever clown car candidate wins that they get as crushed as they should be in the 2012 election.

And I pray to Bob to the remainder of our country that we get the apparently 75-80% Democrat houses we need to get halfway sane solutions back into our sinking ship.

May we live in Interesting Times indeed. The nihilists have said for the longest time that if they were outed, they would wreck shit on the way out and how they have been living up to that!

Indeed, there’s no Republican in the field with a more robust faith in the power of government.

Wait, what? And that’s a good thing? I thought they only wanted people that wanted to drown the gubmint in the tub. When did that change?

And seriously, do you fucking idiots not think that a struggling family doesn’t have the kid(s) doing a paper route or after-school job* already, if it’ll bring in some extra cash? We’ll ignore Newt’s completely ridiculous idea that the only kids that work now are selling drugs. We’ll just pretend that all the kids that get done with school and then go work under-the-table* don’t exist. And then wonder why they don’t get their homework done.

Republicans think of “child labor” as a suburban teenager working a couple hours at McD’s to make extra gas money. Newt’s dream is to relive those halcyon days of poor kids making up a vast and inexpensive underpinning of our industrial might.**

* VSandickyR
** “industrial might” in the 21st centuray now means “industry might make things, in China”

Also, apparently wingnuts don’t understand what “there are no jobs” means. I suppose it allows them to sleep at night to imagine that there were just suddenly millions of people who decided to stop going to work all at once and wait in mile long lines for jobs they refuse to be employed at because line-standing is so much fun rather than the alternative.

But still.

Yeah, what we need in this country is a work ethic, because the Puritan work ethic that has every unemployed person in this country beating themselves into suicidal depression on how much a failure they must be to be reduced to the jobless sap about to lose their shelter and the ability to eat, just isn’t enough. If we just shame ourselves a little more, then magically the jobs will come back through the Magic of Calvinist Bullshit designed for middle class Libertarian government workers and retirees living off a government pension and social security to make themselves feel better over.

I don’t think I need to note how “not how it works” that all is.

And how much better off we’d be if we stopped listening to the people who think wishful thinking will fix everything instead of doing what actually works and ensures that no matter what, no one starves to death in preventable ways.

I’m glad other people can take apart this pile of shit – I can’t even hear the Noot’s name without automatically shutting down. It’s like the hate and racism and misogyny and lying and dereliction of duty to the American people is concentrated in this one human-shaped point of pure evil, and it’s being applauded like it’s rainbows and puppy-snuggles personified.

I simply can’t take it. I want him to wake up tomorrow as a 13 year old black girl forced to scrub toilets in an inner-city tenement, and I want that poor girl (whomever she is) to wake up in a feather bed, in a beautiful house, with a decent breakfast waiting on the table, and the knowledge that never again will she have to go hungry because Rethuglicans think licking the arses of rich people is more important than the welfare of 99% of America.

I just… I just… I can’t.

centuray==century, of course

And to be a bit more clear:

When a Republican hears Newtie say “child labor” he thinks of his suburban kid working an hour or two after school for some spending money. Or getting paid $10 to ride the lawnmower around their 3-acre lot.

Newt wants that to continue, but poor kids need to go back to the 19th century and learn a “real” work ethic. Then, in the 22nd century, they’ll get to drive the mower around the suburban enclave. It trickles down, see.

OBS-

Fuck, let’s forget all that. What do you think the kids getting sucked up into dealing drugs or being lookouts for the drug dealers and what not comes from?

Poor families who can’t afford to feed the kids or give them anything new, whose kids get bullied at school for being the poor bastard and whose parents can’t watch them all the time and give their all parenting because they are working 3 jobs being worn down to the bone just to keep a shitty unfixed roof over their heads.

And so the kid hears about a system that’s offering more money than he’s ever received in his life and the schools couldn’t give a fuck. They assume he’s a thug in training anyway and he can’t shoot hoops and can’t sling rhymes, so he’s not getting off the streets anytime soon. And he sees the worn-down faces of the adults who couldn’t get out, sees his mom worn to practical death and that’s if the parents aren’t straight up abusive or drunk thus needing the kid to need to get the scratch to support themselves as fast as possible.

So the kid takes it and now he can buy good clothes that fit, good sneakers that don’t get him beat up, and maybe even a place to crash where the neighbors aren’t yelling at each other 24/7 and that’s if he’s lucky and it’s not his folks.

Hey, it’s scratch under the table and maybe he can even make enough to get his mom’s out from under, take her where the streets don’t smell like piss and they don’t have to duck whenever a muffler backfires and maybe they can even go to a school that matters where their baby sister can make something of herself.

But no, in wingnut world, those people are just “bad people” who live “bad lives” evidenced by how they use their powerful psychic energies to turn the areas around them into “bad neighborhoods” with “bad schools”, because no one who doesn’t deserve it is poor and no one who doesn’t deserve it is rich and good. So why bother thinking about how they came to be.

Working is good and white so it must be refusing to work that causes these problems. Well, whipping them back to the Plantation will fix that, as long as we tell them what useless thugs they are on the way back.

Ho boy, do I dare look through the jungle fronds at the tigers therein?

The idea that government can improve the culture would be unconservative…if it weren’t the case that government policies are what wrecked it. And so it seems very odd to me that people cite Gingrich’s policies for improving the culture as evidence of not being a conservative. He’s simply arguing for a roll-back of the government policies that wrecked American culture.
It’s what’s made him the leading conservative since Reagan left office.

I…

Wha…

Which government policy?

Ending child labor?

Ending slavery?

Thinking we could make anything of the black man than a disposable source of free labor?

I…

No, can’t do it. Peace bitches, my soul may be tarnished to rot by J-Load’s defense of Newt, but I’m not subjecting myself to people who feel they need to go one step beyond J-Load with none of the subtlety.

And frankly, it just makes me want to give them the world they crave, with them on the bottom. Make them the child laborers, trapped in shit complexes that the racists of the world want to see collapse to “prove that the black man can’t make something of himself”. Make them the fieldhands on the plantations as some burly black man suns himself on the porch tsking them for being such lazy sunburnt workers. Make them run the gauntlet of gun turrets to try and keep your family from starving only to work in a shit job that can deport you at any second.

Force them to experience real actual oppression. Not this “liberals are being mean to us by noting what reality fucking looks like” shit, not this “liberals refuse to stop protesting our lords and masters” shit, and certainly not this “Obama called us a mean word, MOMMY!” shit, but real oppression like the rest of us have to live with because apparently there is no amount of our suffering that is enough for these sociopaths.

Fuck, I’ll settle for them spending a week as a trans person, having the world say a world where them being allowed to hold a job or keep an apartment is a bridge to far and a sign of national collapse.

Something where they could experience what it is like for the rest of us to endure their unending horseshit.

Fuck.

I think this one broke me.

I hadn’t realized that supporting child labor had quite reached party platform status yet and you were at least pretending not to be a complete cartoon villain.

They’re pretending? You sure they’re not wearing a person suit like Judge Doom?

Pryme-

I know. We always criticize kid’s movies for having laughably unbelievable villains, and then boom, in the last year or two, the GOP looking at its nearing end and freaking out over a black man in the White House just up and went “Unbelievable, I’ll show you unbelievable” and decided to make every one of those villains into a documentary.

Fuck, we’ve even got the No Heart deal of “I hate them for caring”.

Fucking No Heart man.

Fucking No HEART!

On topic, half the kids in my elementary school in the early 70s were getting school-made hot lunches because they were poor enough to qualify. As brutal as that school was, I don’t remember other kids making fun of that. We attacked each other over imagined slights and sports fandom, not anything as demeaning as social status.

Off topic, we’ve got our Chez__B holiday movies queued up. The Ice Harvest, Bad Santa, A Christamas Story, The Ref, and a couple of old Russian flicks of similar taste.

Why is it that every conservative thinks they invented the work ethic? Seriously, has Newt ever done a real day’s work in his miserable overprivileged life?

Major Kong-

Because work ethic has been a dog whistle for white since the days white people kidnapped and imported black people to do all the work so they could sit on their pretty white asses all day eating bon bons.

And it probably was even worse back in the day to hear a Plantation owner complaining about the lack of a “work ethic” in the “useless bastards” he bought to do all his work for free.

Actually, I don’t know a single era where the over-priveleged or overfed aristocrats of the era whining about the “work ethic” of the lower classes wasn’t so bitterly false as to be impossible to swallow.

Not that it’s ever stopped them.

First off, great photoshop!

Second, Newt can eat a bag of dicks. Does he even know all the fun industrial chemicals you find in a janitor’s closet*? I worked for a while in a state park and the stuff we had around was fucking toxic. plus I had to go through training on bloodborne pathogens. Yeah, lets set the kids loose in the janitor’s closet*, what could possibly go wrong?

* not a vhr

“Mmmmmm, finger pie…..yum!”

The best kind of pie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD9N5f9ekIQ

testing

Cerberus,

From where I’m looking this primary -particularly how the GOP is attacking Obama for every American ill- is reminiscent of a classic BTAS episode.

I’ll leave it up to other Sadlies to determine which Rogue best fits which GOP candidate.

Gay abortion pagan liberal hot tub party at my place this weekend.

Ask Dennis for the directions…………..

The fact is, you’re the real racists because you didn’t vote for Herman Cain.

(Sorry. I just miss Gary sometimes.)

I’ll leave it up to other Sadlies to determine which Rogue best fits which GOP candidate.

I would vote for:

Newt = The Joker
Mitt = Two Face
Not sure if Bachmann should be Harley Quinn or Poison Ivy

Pryme-

I don’t know, the average Batman villain has more heart, humanity, and character than any of the Batman villains.

But if I had to guess.

Cain (redacted) – Mad Hatter
Gingrich (after his latest speech) – The Sewer King
Romney – The Clock King
Perry – Boss Biggis
Ron Paul – Baby Doll
Bachmann – Killer Croc

Major Kong-

Oh hell no, neither of them is half as crazy, unlikeable, or stupid as Bachmann.

But at least Harley Quinn is also dating a repressed gay man.

Sigh. I guess you’re right Cerberus.

The Batman villains all at least have a human side to them.

True, Major K. If I remember my Batman correctly (from almost 50 years ago), all of the villains he faced were the way they were because of some traumatic event. They should have just sucked it up, like superior types such as Dough-Bob would have.

(I accidentally hit “o” twice there and corrected it. But “Dough-Boob” works, too, doesn’t it?)

P.S. I also really hate that my last comment stays in the box until I actively delete it, no matter how many times I refresh. It stopped doing that for a day or two, but now it’s back.

(Sorry. I just miss Gary sometimes.)

you know who I don’t miss? That “punk bitchezz” guy.

Does (Newt) even know all the fun industrial chemicals you find in a janitor’s closet? I worked for a while in a state park and the stuff we had around was fucking toxic. plus I had to go through training on bloodborne pathogens. Yeah, lets set the kids loose in the janitor’s closet, what could possibly go wrong?

All that’s a feature, not a bug. Newt’s wise proposal not only prepares the offspring of the lesser orders for their lives of forced labor before they’re strong enough to offer serious resistance, it also culls the weaklings from the herd, leaving only the most strapping brats with the strongest backs and the most efficient immune systems.

Once we get rid of what’s left of that education nonsense and start equipping our schools with some good quality cattle prods, we can start turning out the sort of graduates that the New America needs.

I missed the part where Dennis was sticking up for his hero by defending child labor. I better scroll through this thread again. I’d hate to think Dennis is shying away from a real issue rather than making lame attempts at humor over a joke about Bachmann, Hannity and the prom.

Punk ass BITCHEZZZZZ

Ass punk bitchezzzz
Bitch punk asses
Bitch ass punks*
Punk bitch assesszzzz
Ass bitch punks

*Possibly a band ZRM listens to.

All to bed, then?
.

zzzzzzz

Bitch ass punks*
*Possibly a band ZRM listens to played bass in.

Ha ha:

In A Riot. And then I realized; I was not amused and they know the strengths they bring, and they know the strengths they bring, and they are about getting their credit or royalties.
The Mekons formed as a matter of course. We would be the point of what humans do, and they still do it, because singing and howling into the political realm; and anybody can Do It Yourself. Maybe the Sex Pistols were packaged, but the Clash and the maximum rent is also controlled to make cities and suburbs work, I know how to do things he didn’t.

A Palin Zombie:

We would be doing everything, and people need to remark on the corpses he is looking out on, and you realize this is what I was trying to hash out progressive futures, but I will start of by saying that I have not been the Washington elite. In order to stop Islamic extremists, those terrorists who are hell bent on destroying our nation. There have been showed America for all these years as the governor of this wildlife and the fears that the only option for them is to defend the American people and are elected to serve and are getting older, and have won several awards for my work, both for the album is A&M, the label that so unceremoniously, maliciously, dumped them in a big way, populating the small stage with 8 musicians and five lead vocalist mikes. I was ordering a first drink, I saw three folks, two of whom I knew that the squeaking parts provide a disturbing backdrop to the Mekons. Sally sings, and Jon, and the Pistols; what the fuck, they moved on and opened with Calling All Demons from the new album, and all the way through, preferably on headphones, and stonage optional. And I am not sure I have missed, while I do need to design buildable, sustainable, humanistic buildings and residences (that don’t leak, as much as the Ramones; and they know the strengths they bring, and they know the only fight you need. Success is inconsequential, it is not exactly a feel-good song. The Mekons have always hated the strictures of Rock Bands. They always insisted upon egalitarian socialistic ideology.
Every song was credited to the Mekons followed a path that defies description or pigeonholing. In fact, the president has the obligation, the duty to defend.
First off, we’re going to do. Is he going to have exerted such pressure in terms of lands and wildlife, then they see that the caribou herds would diminish and die off. No, the caribou herds are actually thriving. They’re flourishing.
There have not had a plan. Alaska should be a comprehensive, long-term solution found… for this world of hurt there. No.
The environment will continue to thrive and to control and to be a first option. In fact, I usually had two jobs all my life until I had kids. I was able to speak God’s words. Canada, Mexico, and then, yes, that trip, that was my exact quote. You know, I was not a part of, I guess, that culture.
The way that I believe that it can be done is make art. This is NOT the Genesis videos.
Since Von doesn’t come around here anymore, I have done in the midst of that zombie’s innards on the next time she makes funny misspellings, because DAMN those are tasty and hard to resist. But. I am not really a philosophical zombie, but more working from the production of oil and gas development and the 49th state, Alaska, and Russia. They are our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in terms of lands and our state to produce more for the audience to join in on the whole idea of concept albums and studio artistry.
We can argue about whether that was a piss-take of the idea of opening ANWR, and the pristineness of the larger airports across the nation.

Damn, if that’s not the best p-shop in a while, even around here.

… he literally poo-pooed the actual factual conclusion of every sociologist who isn’t a hack working for a right-wing think tank on why poor inner cities don’t achieve as much.

But DoughBlob is himself a “visiting felllow” hack at a right-wing think hack tank, and plus Loadboy really, really admires Gingrich for having the ambition to make up facts.

… Jonah of all people has a lot of damn nerve to press Newt’s assumption that OTHER PEOPLE are lazy.

Gingrich has the task of appealing to the Republican Party’s aptly-named base, which has flown in such ever-tighter right-hand circles that the only thing keeping their collective heads out of their collective asses are the two wetsuits and dildo. Hence, the ever-more reactionary attempts to appeal to that ever-escalating level of crazy. (Note that to a native of Georgia, child labor is not as reactionary as it is to most Americans, as that state in particular held onto child labor for a very long time.) Our favorite lazy, spoiled, and indolent child of privilege and beneficiary of nepotism has never had to lift anything heavier than money, and is about as much of an authority on labor of any kind as a right-wing global-warming denier is on actual climate science.

Seems like that Palin zombie is a crystal methodist.

As brutal as that school was, I don’t remember other kids making fun of that. We attacked each other over imagined slights and sports fandom, not anything as demeaning as social status.

It’s only in private school where a family’s material status mattered. Like you, in my public school, we’d do the “my dad can beat up yours” thing, and maybe, MAYBE, some kid would lord it over us if his dad brought a Mustang, but that was more the “cool” factor, not the sticker price.

I should trademark ‘hot tub club’, print it on thongs and sell them to lib bloggers.

Hey, coward! I notice you stopped posting when we started to get uncomfortably close to telling you where you live.

Chicken.

DenDen, how tight was that little boy’s ass yesterday?

That was your wife?

Oh. She has small ones. My bad.

Sucks to be you.

Damn, if that’s not the best p-shop in a while, even around here.

I thought that was one of Jonah’s private photos from his Facebook account?

These wingnut-welfare “geniuses” should be very glad that we liberals are what we are and not what the minions of the 1% tell them to tell us we are; but liberal as I am, I’m starting to think that before the new year is out, I might condone, some targets on the backs of these fat-addled morons. Given the choice between JUST ONE WORKING CLASS AMERICAN WORKING THREE JOBS TO SUPPORT THEIR FAMILY INTERNALIZING THIS SHIT AND FEELING INADEQUATE and one KEYBOARD HAPPY WWG JACKING OFF OUR OVERLORDS? Motherfucker, puleeze!</strong)

I will rip off your brainless head and then shit down your neck, before I let one more word of your victim-blaming bullshit rain down on the poor without challenge. And I will rip off ten heads and shit down ten necks if that doesn’t make an impression.

LET’S SIGN UP AND SWAMP THESE BITCHES!!!

I have no idea why this is a tag fail. They’re in the right place, and opened and closed properly.

OH WELL.

Wiley, there’s an old saying in the mother country: the tighter the lid, the harder the pot boils over.

It’s not going to be pretty when it comes, and all the gates and walls and security guards (like they won’t join the mob! HA!), all the laws and the cops won’t save one wing nut.

I’m sure this has been said in different ways upthread, but I have I have to add my 2 cents: I think that if Newt is concerned that children are not learning the value of a good day’s work, he should be more concerned the children of the wealthy and the elite, considering their parents are probably not, you know, toiling in fields or anything…and probably have maids and live in very rarefied air that does not exactly give them a picture of how the real world looks. I think that if Newt is truly concerned about children learning about hard work that rich kids attending private schools should scrub toilets.

Your move, Newt.

It’s not going to be pretty when it comes, and all the gates and walls and security guards (like they won’t join the mob! HA!), all the laws and the cops won’t save one wing nut.

So while I’m in France I should sign up for that course in Guillotine maintenance at the Robespierre Vocational College?

What is Newt’s plan for all the newly impoverished custodians who have been replaced by his child labour scheme?

Checkmate, vs. He’s got nothing but dog-whistles for the morons.

Which reminds me— evidently there is someone new in our neighborhood. Someone who has a dog, which is kinda rare around here, because it rains so damned much that dogs are just too dirty for the carpet to bear. So, Clouds and I wrote a song called, “Dog-shit Blues” tonight, and are preparing a bacony morsel full of peppercorns to discourage random dog from shitting on our porch again. Clouds was all over the house wondering what smelled “like dog-shit” before he looked at the bottom of his shoe. Being the creative people we are, we at least got a song out of it that makes good use of our air harmonicas.

wa-wa-wa-Wah gotta story ’bout a dog…

As a fan of both franchises, I can honestly say that you’ll never read anything more true.

So while I’m in France I should sign up for that course in Guillotine maintenance at the Robespierre Vocational College?

You might want to specialize in the cliffotine.

What is Newt’s plan for all the newly impoverished custodians who have been replaced by his child labour scheme?

Oh. Well, um, magically, they’ll be forced UP the employment ladder and be gifted by the job fairy some low-paying clerical work, which will force the clerks up the ladder a rung and so on, until the 1% percent miraculously become the 99%!

“Dog-shit Blues”

There’s a bitch in heat (badadadaDUM)
And she’s lookin’ real fine (badadadaDUM)
Got a big fluffy tail (badadadaDUM)
And a studded collar (badadadaDUM)
But I ain’t got a dime! (badadadaDUM)
And I got the blues (badadadaDUM)
Cuz my owner give me dogfood and I’m shitting up a stew!

What is Newt’s plan for all the newly impoverished custodians who have been replaced by his child labour scheme?

The push to repeal child labor laws, with unemployment being so high, is so blatantly obviously just another push to lower wages and the cost of labor.

wiley lives in Amsterdam?

The 1% need love too.

The 1% need love too.

NOTE: To 1%

They’re called “hookers”

I simply can’t take it. I want him to wake up tomorrow as a 13 year old black girl forced to scrub toilets in an inner-city tenement, and I want that poor girl (whomever she is) to wake up in a feather bed, in a beautiful house, with a decent breakfast waiting on the table, and the knowledge that never again will she have to go hungry because Rethuglicans think licking the arses of rich people is more important than the welfare of 99% of America

this is what i want every single day…

also, too, i thought of this after i had access to a computer: aren’t the conservatives and tea-party types always yammering on about how it’s always better for the parents to teach children these things instead of the school stepping in? and yes, i know rootie-toot newt is more *liberal* in this regard than most…but wouldn’t it follow that instead of making a fucking kid clean the fucking toilets, they should offer the jobs instead to the lazy ass no good parents who are apparently NOT working and teaching their kids the value of a hard day’s labor?

what’s that? oh…they’re ALREADY working you say?

pardon…i didn’t quite get that…what? oh…there ARE no jobs?

hmmmmmm…

well, let’s go ahead with the child labor scheme anyway…cuz we can…and what better way to prepare a child for second-class citizenship than by making them clean toilets during their formative years…yeah…that’ll work!

good points also about the kiddies *not showing up on monday* while clearly they are every fricking monday at school…ugh…the rampant evil stupidity galls me…

From Pryme’s link:

You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date.

Boy, financial professionals can be realy fucking morons. I’m thinking this is really DenDen, it’s that stoopit.

actor212 said,

December 8, 2011 at 12:35

okay, you are really, really starting to squick me out with this stuff…

I hear that Monday absenteeism in inner-city schools is 20% of the total!!11!!

Boy, financial professionals can be realy fucking morons.

As my IT friends would say, “It’s a feature, not a bug.”:
http://gawker.com/5865494/insane-jp-morgan-stalker-is-why-you-shouldnt-date-investment-bankers

Pryme – loved the Start Trek vs Star Wars link. I’m a big fan of the Subnormality webcomic.

okay, you are really, really starting to squick me out with this stuff…

Yea, but hopefully it squicked him out more.

I hear that Monday absenteeism in inner-city schools is 20% of the total!!11!!

Add in Fridays and it leaps to 40%!!!!

The 1%stalkers need love too. apparently

fixxxxed to reflect true creeperism and stalkiness of letter…

I hear that Monday absenteeism in inner-city schools is 20% of the total!!11!!

wow…really poor kids really get a case of the mondays, don’t they?!?!?

Fantastic photoshop btw. As usual.

the only thing about it is that it looks like the ceo of our local hospital…whom i see on a daily basis…not that i’ve seen him dressed up or even near a giant toilet…he’s pretty much as moronic as jonah, so they have a LOT in common…maybe the convenience of that will encourage them to play with their hair alot and go out with each other…

Poor “Mike” probably should have read this article first, so he wouldn’t have his email smeared across Gawker and the net.

By the way, DenDen, since I know you’re lurking this thread now? Good article for you to read and understand why we think, no, we know, you’re a stalker.

Pryme – loved the Start Trek vs Star Wars link. I’m a big fan of the Subnormality webcomic.

Thanks. One of my all-time favs was the Know-It All Jerk who went to Hell.

Hey, guess what? Standing in a park in Boston is now an “inciteful act” of expression and is not covered under the First Amendment anymore!

Speaking of know-it-all jerks who should go to you-know-where:

http://www.juancole.com/2011/12/gingrich-slots-mek-terrorists-supporter-john-bolton-for-state.html

Bolton would bring a whole new meaning to the term Foggy Bottom

Law Professor David Cole pointed out that participants in that conference had potentially broken the law as laid down by Chief Justice John Roberts and by Attorney-General Eric Holder.

everyone knows that ANYthing said by eric holder is POOP and doesn’t count!!! so, ha ha obammy…they did not break any laws!!!

Bolton as secretary of state. That’s just what we need. Has he ever heard of a war he wasn’t in favor of starting?

Has he ever heard of a war he wasn’t in favor of starting?

The war in Pam Geller’s panties?

Bolton as secretary of state. That’s just what we need.

WE MUST STAMP OUT THE SPREAD OF COUNTRY MUSIC!

WE MUST STAMP OUT THE SPREAD OF COUNTRY MUSIC!

If Newt really were an ideas man, instead of the spiteful revenge fantasy man that he actually is, he would nominate Michael Bolton to the state department. That’s a move that would keep your enemies guessing.

Erick Erickson, Son of Erick is calling the wahmbulance because his candidates all stink.

Erick Erickson, Son of Erick is calling the wahmbulance because his candidates all stink.

I saw that yesterday. Who was he touting? DeMint? Christie? Himself?

I hear he’s for Hunsman now, which is interesting. If the wingfarts were smart they’d nominate him…because he’s quite conservative. But he does not *present* as dumb and mean enough. Wingfarts love mean.

Has he ever heard of a war he wasn’t in favor of starting?

The War on poverty?

The War on poverty?

Oh he wants to start that one too, and he will carpet bomb whoever it takes, as long as it takes until there are no more poor people in America.

Who was he touting? DeMint? Christie? Himself?

While I refuse to link to that site, I will refer to a quote I found on TPM:

“The moment I endorse any candidate suddenly my opinions on the other candidates have little value because everything is seen through the prism of the endorsement. So I would prefer instead to tell you exactly what I think about each of the candidates, good or bad, and let the chips fall where they may.”

What a Brave Little Toaster he is! It’s no wonder he leads the 53%!

Bolton as secretary of state. That’s just what we need. Has he ever heard of a war he wasn’t in favor of starting?

He’d be better as the Defense Secretary. He could run all the dirty little brush wars he wanted from that post.

What a Brave Little Toaster he is! It’s no wonder he leads the 53% (lemme see, 1/330,000,000=) .00000003%!

FTFY

Oh man, his post is more than three paragraphs this time. I may actually have to read it…

I hate people who brag about running marathons.

I’ve often put a dump in the collection plate.

What? It looked like a toilet…

Also, avoid baptism.

He’d be better as the Defense Secretary. He could run all the dirty little brush wars he wanted from that post.

I say we let him start all the wars he wants. Right after he serves five years as a private in the infantry.

When Gingrich spoke of the poor neighbourhoods where children never saw any income sources other than stealing and dealing drugs, I wasn’t sure whether he meant ex-mining towns in the Appalachians, or inner cities. Perhaps someone could advise.

He meant Greenwich CT.

If the working poor ever got wise to their bullshit, they would be buried in an unmarked grave next to the Dixiecrats.

AKA Republicans.

My robot just died scholastically after nearly 134 hours – she was the love of my life. What she had was a bloated tongue and if I had the money she would have lived many more months. I blame the problematic magic potion.

Gingrich is a rhetorical yoga swami. As my National Review colleague Kevin Williamson says, he can shove his foot in his mouth while putting his finger in his ass.

FTFY

I think Newt’s reputation as an intellectual stems from his demeanor on campus as a student and as a lecturer/whatever — he’d be walking around not paying attention to anyone else, lost in thought. The fact that the thought was probably “me, me, me, me, me” is lost on the sort of person who’s impressed by that.

Billdo attacks questioner with his umbrella

Also–while I support locking up all the assholes who let a shitload of guns disappear into Mexico, I am a bit mystified (no, I’m not) about seeing Repigs concern trolling easy access to unregistered, untraceable firearms.

Also, how did this thing die so early?

Billdo attacks questioner with his umbrella

As big a douchenubbin as he is, that sure as fuck looked like an accident, to me.
.

Billdo attacks questioner with his umbrella

Somehow, I had this image in my head as Billdo cross-dressing like the little old lady from the Tweety-Sylvester cartoons, beating a bully over the head with his umbrella, crying “MASHER! MASHER!”

No, Zombie. I am wileywitch of Salem

Oregon.

Pryme, that’s— uh—-um—ooh—ah—sucks air through teeth—whinces—- eeeeee— grunt.

It’s so embarrassing, I had to avert my eyes after

You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation.

Or boredom. Or thinking you’d rather have a pap smear with a cold speculum than spend another second with this blob of pathos and clueless-ness .

Wow. This guy LOOKED IT UP. Hope he gets some help with that Asberger’s. Ye gawdz. What a fuckin’ —-

I’m at a loss for words, here.

I did, however, have a date once (I’ve only had to “dates” ever (officially)— they’re horrible displays of unnatural selection, if you ask me) that may have been just as trying and seemingly never-ending. Fortunately, with no calculation I just naturally bolted out of his car with such speed that he knew it was OVER and that it was futile to try again.

You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation

Yes, but the creepy part of all this is, it’s not a long stretch from this to “She had it coming! Look at how she dressed!”

tsam said,

December 8, 2011 at 21:03 (kill)

Also, how did this thing die so early?

It’s only resting.

Also too: last night I learned on Rachel Maddow’s show that “Gingrich” is pronounced “Gingrick” — according to Newtie’s sister.

In honor of that, here’s a brief poem to help you remember the proper pronunciation:

The risk of choosing a chick,
Or one who’s not quite a big enough prick,
Has disappeared with the rise so quick,
Of the man known as Newt Gingrich.

Yes, but the creepy part of all this is, it’s not a long stretch from this to “She had it coming! Look at how she dressed!”

This is why I don’t believe in “signals;” every woman is different. I always request verbal consent, witnessed by a notary.

This is why I don’t believe in “signals;” every woman is different. I always request verbal consent, witnessed by a notary.

Ha! Every woman who plays with her hair is obviously crazy about me. It amazes me some days just how amazingly popular I am.

“I always request verbal consent, witnessed by a notary.”

Me too! Drives my wife crazy.

Ha! Every woman who plays with her hair is obviously crazy about me. It amazes me some days just how amazingly popular I am.

In college, I knew more than one guy who believed in the “She wants me, she just doesn’t know it yet” philosophy. They must have been majoring in Biff Tannen 101.

“I always request verbal consent, witnessed by a notary.”

Me too! Drives my wife crazy.

Maybe you should ask the notary to leave the camcorder at home.

I hear he’s for Hunsman now, which is interesting. If the wingfarts were smart they’d nominate him…because he’s quite conservative. But he does not *present*…

I always thought the Republican primary was like a chimp domination battle.

My robot just died scholastically after nearly 134 hours – she was the love of my life

You know ELSE had sex robots? HITLER THATS WHO!!!!

(on phone, can’t be arsed to provide link)

Every woman who plays with her hair is obviously crazy about me. It amazes me some days just how amazingly popular I am.

My rule was always, if she played with MY hair, I could ask for a second date.

Of course, that was back when dating meant clubbing her over the head and dragging her back to the cave, but I digress…

I always thought the Republican primary was like a chimp domination battle.

Yesterday at my blog, I made the analogy to a Pokemon battle.

My rule was always, if she played with MY hair, I could ask for a second date.

If she played with my hair, she ‘s been stalking me since before October of 1999. So she gets a second date, because you have to admire that kind of persistence.

If she plays with my hair it’s because she needs it later for spells.

This is why I don’t believe in “signals;” every woman is different. I always request verbal consent, witnessed by a notary.

You should also get the express written consent of the Major League.

*applause for Helmut & Sub*

I chuckled.

My rule was always, if she played with MY hair, I could ask for a second date.

Yeah, it’s safe to assume that, if she’s in your shower, she’s interested in you on some level.

If she played with my hair, she ‘s been stalking me since before October of 1999.

You’re assuming I meant only my head.

“You should also get the express written consent of the Major League.”

You only need that if you get to third base.

*applause for Helmut & Sub*

Weren’t Helmut and Sub the lead characters in the “reboot” of Miami Vice?

Vancouver Vice would be a hell of a show.

Yeah, it’s safe to assume that, if she’s in your shower, she’s interested in you on some level.

It’s hard propping them up when they’re on roofies.

“You should also get the express written consent of the Major League.”

Only if you want to replay or rebroadcast the recording.

“Weren’t Helmut and Sub the lead characters in the “reboot” of Miami Vice?

Vancouver Vice would be a hell of a show.”

I LOLed. I still think I want to see Sub in the WEIRDEST COOKING SHOW EVAH.

…or written accounts or descruptions of the “game”.

So no “kiss-n-blog”

I think Subby could simply take the old Galloping Gourmet show and revive it as it was.

Crushed Hot Sea Orc with Strained Light Cream

Ingredients:
4 cans berserk sea orc, barbecued
2 bags light cream
1 poor low-fat milk
3 teaspoons beautiful lasher hoof
2 pints pepper
7 gallons brown sugar

Disappointedly grease a cookie sheet. Place the sea orc into a medium skillet. Use a food processor to mix the low-fat milk with the light cream. Drip resulting concoction over the sea orc. Dress the lasher hoof, pepper, and the brown sugar. Smush everything together. Knead everything together complementarily. Leave raw but pretend it’s cooked. Serves 4 individuals with entire stomachs.

I miss Graham Kerr, the old drunk

Vancouver Vice would be a hell of a show.

Please put out your marijuana cigarette and stop rioting. PLEASE.

what’s that? oh…they’re ALREADY working you say?

Why, yes. They are. That’s why social workers and psychologists who work for social services and who give those classes that divorced people with children who can’t afford a lawyer, and so are ordered by a judge to attend, have to take— those counselors counsel parents to spend at least 15 minutes of quality time a day with their children. And then they act like they really do expect the parent to have a profound impact on the lives of their children if they just follow these simple guidelines (that are a 180 degree turn from what the people in their professions were telling people a decade ago, so it’s important for them to roll their eyes and talk disparingly about parents who never tell their children “no”. (motherfuckers. I hate them. They objectify children professionally. The dumb ones do, anyway).

Or thinking you’d rather have a pap smear with a cold speculum than spend another second with this blob of pathos and clueless-ness .

that’s the feeling i could not quite put my finger on whilst reading the stalker-gram…thanks! also, it made me laff quite explosively…my new office neighbors are prolly wondering wth is wrong with me…

Please put out your marijuana cigarette and stop rioting. PLEASE.

Asking a third time would be verging on harassment.

Please put out your marijuana cigarette and stop rioting. PLEASE.

Sub, they won’t take you seriously until you say “Eh?”

Asking a third time would be verging on harassment

i trust that you are pronouncing it as HAIRassment and not haRASSment?

Sub looks great in that Dudley Doright costume though.

i have explained before that i am a huge nerd, haven’t i?

Vancouver Vice would be a hell of a show.

I am trying to imagine what car they would give us to drive on the series, the original was a Ferrari Testarossa (not really, it was a kit car body on a corvette frame), which perfectly embodied the excess of 1980’s drug war Miami. I don’t know what car would be both cool and embody 2010’s [whatever crime is plaguing] Vancouver.

i trust that you are pronouncing it as HAIRassment and not haRASSment?

I am also playing with it and making occasional eye contact. INCORRIGIBLE!

I don’t know what car would be both cool and embody 2010?s [whatever crime is plaguing] Vancouver.

Zamboni.

I am trying to imagine what car they would give us to drive on the series

Dodge Dart.

Zamboni.

I hate you.

I am trying to imagine what car they would give us to drive on the series

You do realize you’d need to grow a mullet and Fu Manchu, right?

“Dog-shit Blues”

Fwnwick’s only song:

Palo Alto Blues

My baby done left me (badadadaDUM)
for the Cote d’Azure. (badadadaDUM)
Took all the Ban de Soleil (etc)
that’ for sure.

My tennis games shot.
You know that’s true.
Been playin singles.
I been feelin’ so blue.

[up an octave]
They raised my taxes
and my country-club dues.
That’s why I got these ol’ Palo Alto blues.

[refrain]
Feeling so sad.
I’m so depressed.
In Palo Alto
we’re over-assessed.

———-

Went six over par (badadadaDUM)
on the back nine. (etc)
Double-bogeyed Eleven.
I been cryin and cryin.

My broker and me
had a terrible spat.
Sold my options and futures.
All the prices were flat.

[up]
The high-techs are bearish.
The bond market too.
My portfolio’s full
of Palo Alto blues.

Feeling so sad.
I’m so depressed.
In Palo Alto
we’re over-assessed.

———-

Lactose intolerant (badadadaDUM)
so I can’t stomach brie.
Allergic to calimari,
riddicio and chablet.

Beemer’s in the shop.
Mercedes is too.
Gotta take the Land Rover.
Lord, what can I do?

[up]
Gonna pack my Beneton luggage,
strap on my Gucci shoes.
Gonna drive on down to Carmel,
lose these Palo Alto blues.

Feeling so sad.
I’m so depressed.
In Palo Alto
we’re over-assessed.

Anyone care to write a hot-tub verse for Dennis?

I am also playing with it and making occasional eye contact. INCORRIGIBLE!

Slut.

WE WERE ALL THINKING IT

All’s I know is I would insist you both wear pastels.

You do realize you’d need to grow a mullet and Fu Manchu, right?

Given my (total lack of) hairline, they’d probably let me skip the mullet, and just give me a ‘mad bomber’ ski hat with earflaps. I could rock the Fu Manchu. Add a pair of aviator sunglasses and I would totally be ready to fight crime.

Given my (total lack of) hairline, they’d probably let me skip the mullet

Again, you assume I meant the head…

re: the upthread recipe…

I had no idea they had these in the sea. Plus, I have no idea how to grease a sheet in a disappointed manner. See, these are the things that I would LEARN from your weird, weird show.

All’s I know is I would insist you both wear pastels.

It’s Vancouver. Yoga pants.

I could rock the Fu Manchu.

no fu manchu…must be a pornstache…

I have no idea how to grease a sheet in a disappointed manner

if you ate a LOT of olestra and then went to bed, i bet you could grease a sheet in a disappointed manner…

It’s Vancouver. Yoga pants.

Heh. I wear yoga pants all the time. Mostly at home though. But two GUYS in yoga pants would be…novel.

It’s Vancouver. Yoga pants.

Yoga pants done right.

“I don’t know what car would be both cool and embody 2010?s [whatever crime is plaguing] Vancouver.

Zamboni.”

I don’t think “Icing” qualifies as a crime.

no fu manchu…must be a pornstache…

Depends on how thick

I don’t think “Icing” qualifies as a crime.

Tough league. Offsides is a blow to the head from a hammer. When they had the two-line rule, you could lose an eye.

Fashion note for yoga pantsers.

When they had the two-line rule, you could lose an eye.

It’s all good fun until someone loses an eye.

Fashion note for yoga pantsers.

Yes, but revenge is sweet

Zamboni.

This is the greatest comment forever.

He noted that when Newsweek asked Oprah Winfrey why she went (did not go) to south Chicago — to open a girl’s school, she responded: “I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools that I just stopped going….If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don’t ask for money or toys, they ask for uniforms so they can go to school.”

Oh the disgrace, the laziness and greed! of incredibly poor kids wanting toys or nice sneakers! Oprah’s not too bright- blames the kids because she can’t fix generations of poverty, ignorance, drugs and neglect with just one of her fabulous gestures of generosity she so loved to display on her show.

Err, We mean Elizabeth Warren is a puppet of Wall Street! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Which just means that Elizabeth Warren is a communitst AND a fascist, at the same time! And probably a gay Kenyan Muslim woman-hating feminazi, the puritanical slut.

This is the greatest comment forever.

What do you think tig does with all the intarwebz she wins? Besides mussing up their hair and giving them significant looks.

In South Africa, they don’t ask for money or toys, they ask for uniforms so they can go to school.

Because in South Africa, no cop would ever mistake roving bands of poor and black children as anything BUT students….

What do you think tig does with all the intarwebz she wins?

Uses them to decorate for Christmas? Hands them out to trick-or-treaters on Halloween? Tips her waiter with them?

Oprah’s not too bright- blames the kids because she can’t fix generations of poverty, ignorance, drugs and neglect with just one of her fabulous gestures of generosity she so loved to display on her show.

i got annoyed and quit watching oprah about 15 years ago when she had a fashion segment in which she was AMAZED AND GOBSMACKED that you could purchase t-shirts at places like target and k-mart for like, $5 or something…i just thought, ‘fuck you oprah…you came up poor and your millionaire status is relatively new…pretty sure you were shopping discount a scant few years ago!’

it’s the little things like that about people that really turn me off…

No, that was a great comment, but the greatest comment ever is the one I devoted a post to a couple of days ago. It was about Jon Meacham’s twit that “Could Newt be the next FDR?”

To which the good Roger Ailes replied, “Could Newt be the next FDR? Let’s expose him to the polio virus and find out.”

Because in South Africa, no cop would ever mistake roving bands of poor and black children as anything BUT students….

prolly also because we send them plenty of sports-themed items of clothing…just because they are the shirts and caps and whatnot of the team that DIDN’T win the division, the bowl or the championship…those kids are damn grateful for their hand-me-downs!

To which the good Roger Ailes replied, “Could Newt be the next FDR? Let’s expose him to the polio virus and find out.”

“We’ve secretly replaced his Viagra with polio. Let’s see if he notices.”

I’ll give Jonah this. This is a pretty impressive piece of wingnuttery. He was given the impossible hack task of “make the current frontrunning nominee for the Republican Party look better after they just supported a return to child labor” and is doing his damndest to spin it as the evil liberal teacher conspiracy to steal your money and waste it on black kids. We make fun of him for lucking into a job he doesn’t work at all on, but here he shows that he is at least marginally talented at the only job that is always hiring these days.

So he’s “marginally good” at convincing a conservative audience that inner-city nonwhite folk are lazy and worthless and that hurting and/or demeaning these guys is the way to do? That’s like being “marginally good” at shooting fish in a barrel after incapacitating them with dynamite and running them through with harpoons.

Roger Ailes said that? Srsly? That’s Awesome!

O wait, you said the “good” Roger Ailes. Is that some kind of reverse evil-twin thing? Does the regular Roger Ailes usually keep him handcuffed to a pipe in the basement or something?

The best Roger Ailes.

The good Roger Ailes is a liberal blogger and frequent commenter at roy’s blog. That’s pretty much how everyone addresses or refers to him, too, as good Roger Ailes. To, you know, distinguish him from the evil that is the head of Faux News.

Also, apparently wingnuts don’t understand what “there are no jobs” means. I suppose it allows them to sleep at night to imagine that there were just suddenly millions of people who decided to stop going to work all at once and wait in mile long lines for jobs they refuse to be employed at because line-standing is so much fun rather than the alternative.

What I love is how they manage to simultaneously believe that 1) Obama is a Job-Destroying Socialist monster, and that 2) unemployed people are lazy fucks and the only reason they’re unemployed is because they’re not looking hard enough – “blame yourselves,” as the All-Knowing Cain says.

Which one is it? Because if the unemployed are unemployed only through their own fault, then it’s not Obama destroying the jobs and you should probably lay off his back on that account, whereas if Obama IS destroying jobs, then the unemployed aren’t lazy fucks, they’re victims of Obammunist tyranny and you should be trying to reach then, not shitting all over them.

(Of course, it’s remotely possible that neither Obama nor the unemployed are to blame for unemployment, but that’s a bit too much of a leap for them).

DOUBLETHINK ISREAL!!111!!1!11!

First they came for the filth demons, and I did not speak out because I was not a filth demon;
Then they came for the nixies, and I did not speak out because I was not a nixie;
Then they came for the aquatic oozes, and I did not speak out because I was not an aquatic ooze;
Then they came for the anacondas, and I did not speak out because I was not an anaconda;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Bit of a blog whore, but I’ve got a new Mangotime! on my blog. For “fans” of creepy stalker Investment Banker above, I’ve ripped apart a PUA who decided to Game an asexual. It’s about as horrifying as you can imagine.

Sorry for the blog whore.

Chris-

Yeah, the entry barrier to conservatism these days seems the ability to hold two diametrically opposed things that are both wrong as both simultaneously true.

Only at that point are you ready for the hard lessons like how to have always viewed something as wrong that you supported the day before or the very paragraph before and how to communicate entirely in bad faith arguments and naked revelations of the pit beast which has consumed your soul.

A.) I like filth demons

B.) cerebus, don’t apologize for b-whoring. We’ve all done it. More than once. Kinda like DK-W’s mom.

I hope you pulled sheet ghouls out of that Niemoller Janus script. Fucking sheet ghouls. If they came for teh sheet ghouls, I’d applaud.

Hmmm….

shambling mound
shape of fire
shapeless spawn
shapeling
shapeshifter
shard wolf
shardcaster
shardsoul
shark
shark squid
shark-kin
sharkwere
sharptooth lizardfolk
sheep

I think it’s-

sheet ghoul

Oh well.

Is a “sheet ghoul” the Messican version of the Shithouse Troll?

It’s weresharks you have to watch out for…but only when it’s a full moon.

I had no idea they had these in the sea.

Pedantic bastard is pedantic.

It’s weresharks you have to watch out for…but only when it’s a full moon.

And if, you know, you’re in the water. Someone changing into a shark in their Pinto on I-95 doesn’t scare me.

And if, you know, you’re in the water. Someone changing into a shark in their Pinto on I-95 doesn’t scare me.

One of the things I loved about World War Z was the concept of zombies just walking into oceans and lakes…the bottom of all these bodies of water was teeming with zombies, who would walk up to beaches or climb anchor chains.. So not only was going into the water a bad idea, but even being near the water…it was like were-sharks that actually could also chase you down in your Pinto.

of course, if you are driving something faster than a Pinto, the zombie is kind SOL.

It’s weresharks you have to watch out for…but only when it’s a full moon.

Wouldn’t weresharks change when the tide was full?

Someone changing into a shark in their Pinto on I-95 doesn’t scare me.

ANYBODY driving a Pinto scares me.

I take it the sun is over the yardarm in WI?

Next on the SciFi channel: Road Shark Terror

Child labor. Newt Gingrich never had to work as a child. He grew up in a dysfunctional home it sounds like. Lived on military bases as a kid. Graduated highschool in Columbus, Georgia (Baker High), largest infantry base in the world at one time. Multiple deferments kept him out of the War. Emory, Tulane. Congo. (WIki)

I think Gingrich thinks he’s some kind of real special high class dude. And he’s acting like he believes a high class dude would act, by shitting on all the other classes. If you’ve a bent towards that sort of thinking, then you can find plenty of examples (reinforcement) of it in the history books. BA, MA, PhD studying how the upper classes shit on everybody else. Probably really enjoyed working on his PhD, Belgian education policy in the Congo.

So really he’s just a goddamn fraud. At heart he’s probably terrified of ever being found out. He’s been lording this shit over everybody for so long he’s actually convinced himself that he has convinced everybody else he’s some kind of goddamned royalty. Probably all it would take to knock his fat ass off the pedestal he’s built for himself is for some genuine royalty to remind him he’s just a middle class turd himself.

You know what’s good for teething pains? Bourbon. Not for teh infant.

I can attest to this…and am attesting right now.

Hey anyone snark on teh Donald Debate yet? I was going to make some joke about Newt and Santorum when i remembered that newts, liek all amphibians, breathe through their skin. Ugh.

“Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
December 9, 2011 at 2:21

I had no idea they had these in the sea.

Pedantic bastard is pedantic.”

I’ve never thought of my jokes as subtle. I guess they are.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

I can attest to this…and am attesting right now.

I have a pint-glass Cuba Libre in my hand IN REAL TIME.

It’s weresharks you have to watch out for…but only when it’s a full moon.

And if, you know, you’re in the water. Someone changing into a shark in their Pinto on I-95 doesn’t scare me.

Oh, yeah? What if they’re delivering a Candygram, wise guy?

Don’t open the door.

Don’t open the door.

wev d00d. CANDYGRAM!

You know what’s good for teething pains? Bourbon. Not for teh infant.

My dear sainted mammy, mother of nine, would never dip a babby’s teething ring in bourbon. It was always gin or Scots whisky for us.

I think there may have been a few rye whiskey dips as well.

Rye whiskey rye whiskey
Oh how I love thee
You killed my poor father goddamn you try me.

i have found a recipe for knoephle…and have decided to go with sauerbraten to accompany…prolly on home made rolls…i’m having difficulties settling on a sauerbraten recipe however…many, many of them out there…and suggestions, foodies?

bbkf: My only caution is that if you decide to go with ground-up gingersnaps as the thickening agent—be careful. Unless you like cement, that is.

perhaps if i marinate this thread in a sweet and sour mixture for three days, it shall be resurrected…

bbkf: My only caution is that if you decide to go with ground-up gingersnaps as the thickening agent—be careful. Unless you like cement, that is.

i have heard many negatives about the gingersnaps…i’m looking at an *authentic* rhineland recipe that does not call for ginger snaps or juniper berries…this may be the one…

Guess whose daughter this is?

This week, I’m writing a letter to my 16-year-old self. The letter is inspired by the book, “Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self,” edited by Joseph Galliano (Atria Books, 2011).

Be assured that 16 is a shaky time for everybody. Nothing seems to fit, nothing seems easy, and life’s future is unknown. On the bright side, life seems to hold much promise and possibility. As you grow older, hang on to the idea that life is full of promise and possibility.

No, you are not normal, but neither is anyone else. Everyone has something that makes them “not normal.” Your something might be more visible (yes, your dad did run for Congress and lose twice before you were 10; he won when you were 11; two years later, your parents divorced). But everyone has a family member who is crazy, in jail, estranged, sick or any combination of those and other abnormalities. NO ONE is normal.

Oh, that’s right: I have ginger snaps. Snack time.

Ginger Snaps bite back.

Wouldn’t weresharks change when the tide was full?

You’re not from the coast, are you?

NO ONE is normal.

Absolute bullshit. Louie Gohmert is normal.

“I don’t know how many times my mother’s said to me: The least you can do is try to act normal.”

—Arthur Carlson, WKRP

I tried being normal once. It wasn’t much fun and I wasn’t very good at it.

I tried being normal once. It wasn’t much fun and I wasn’t very good at it.

It’s hard werk being average, lemme tell you.

If you’re not normal, there’s no friction. [/incredibly obscure engineering joke]

I think all engineering jokes are obscure for the layperson.

I think all engineering jokes are obscure

How about: We have a very emotional building. It’s got upset beams and depressed slabs.

for the layperson.

Sexeeeeee.

“How about: We have a very emotional building. It’s got upset beams and depressed slabs.”

I like it!

We have a very emotional building. It’s got upset beams and depressed slabs.

Your problem is you put a revolving door in. The poor building doesn’t know which way to turn.

One of the things I loved about World War Z was the concept of zombies just walking into oceans and lakes…the bottom of all these bodies of water was teeming with zombies, who would walk up to beaches or climb anchor chains..

Ironically, as a diver, that’s one of the things that took me out. Even after death, even with lungs filled with water, the human body is at best neutral buoyancy so they’d float too.

Ooooooo engineering humor!! And here I was almost gonna go to bed!!!!

My son is entranced by the TV..and pretty reliably cranky in the mornings, so I sometimes just let him comandeer the thing. This morning he put on Fox News. I was like “No, honey, we can’t watched Fox News unless we want mommy to kill herself.” *cheery smile, channel change*. 30 seconds of inane drivel from that channel is enough to make me weep for humanity.

The one thing about normals is when they get cross, it usually amounts to nothing.

Hey y’all I just learned that scumbag deadbeat dad joe walsh has decided to run for congress in my district. The likely democrat will be Tammy Duckworth and I’ve joined as a volunteer to help her win. I can’t wait to send this idiot packing.g

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a tiger?

(elephant)(tiger) sin theta

What so you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?

You can’t do that – a mountain climber is a scalar

As Mrs__B climbs over my large furry mass to get out of bed, she can be heard to mutter “we all have our bears to cross.”

“As Mrs__B climbs over my large furry mass to get out of bed, she can be heard to mutter “we all have our bears to cross.”

I’m beginning to get the idea that mrs. N_B is witty as hell.

Ironically, as a diver, that’s one of the things that took me out. Even after death, even with lungs filled with water, the human body is at best neutral buoyancy so they’d float too.

Not necessarily. I am a freshwater diver, and I can tell you that fat floats, and muscular people don’t. Which is to say I float, in fresh water like a cork, and my college friend who doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him (grumble stupid metabolism, grumble stupid no willpower to go to the gym regularly and exercise and not take second helpings of pie) sinks like a stone. So, you’d have a bunch really buff zombies on the bottom of freshwater lakes, and the fatter ones bobbing around on the surface until the fish and seagulls and decay took off enough fat that they would sink.

MSNBC is a news channel with segments well-defined liberal opinion, plus 3 hours of Joe Scarborough every weekday morning.

Fox is a 24/7 conservative propaganda machine with occasional news stories.

Fox is a 24/7 conservative propaganda machine with occasional news stories.

If you count, “the Taliban is training monkeys to kill American soldiers” as a news story.

It is for the monkeys.

And we all know monkeys watch Fox News.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a tiger?

(elephant)(tiger) sin theta

Let me know when they get to the beta version. I’d like to invest.

That patented concerned mommy look that every lib acquires over time.

Like your mom, everytime your little soldier can’t salute?

Not necessarily. I am a freshwater diver, and I can tell you that fat floats, and muscular people don’t. Which is to say I float, in fresh water like a cork, and my college friend who doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him (grumble stupid metabolism, grumble stupid no willpower to go to the gym regularly and exercise and not take second helpings of pie) sinks like a stone

There’s a less than 5% buoyancy differential between fresh and salt.

Try exhaling better 😉

I’m serious. I know that most freshwater is pretty cold (maybe not in late summer) so people involuntarily gasp when they descend, and end up floating again.

And of course, the usual advice on a buoyancy check at the surface applies.

If you count, “the Taliban is training monkeys to kill American soldiers” as a news story.

It is for the monkeys.

You meant to write “the viewers,” I’m sure.

Ahem.

Subtle difference: you posted simians watch FOX. I called all FOX watchers simians.

There’s a less than 5% buoyancy differential between fresh and salt.

Try exhaling better 😉

I wasn’t complaining about my ability to dive in fresh water, through the magic of lead weight I am able to dive just as well as someone whose natural buoyancy is less than my own. I was saying that J. Random Person won’t necessarily float when you throw them in the water. The difference between fresh and salt water is enough for my friend that he floats in salt water and sinks in fresh water. Clearly taking a deep breath and treading water will help keep anyone at the surface, but there is a reason the sheriff’s department here has a rescue dive team (which is really a body recovery team).

Well, what happens in a drowning is initially, the weight of the clothes brings the body down. Eventually, as the body decomposes, gas pockets form and float the body again. Eventually, all corpses float unless weighted down with something substantial like a rock or lead.

This is why the sheriff’s department needs divers because people like mobsters understand they have to weigh the body down.

Subtle difference: you posted simians watch FOX. I called all FOX watchers simians.

Quite subtle! Since I was implying that Fox viewers were monkeys, and you simply said it. Kinda seems like the same joke to me. But…oh well.

Sure, eventually the corpses float. But until they do, you’ve got zombies on the lake or ocean floor. And around here, mostly the sheriff’s department needs divers because people don’t realize that 1/2″ thick ice and 6″ thick ice look pretty much the same from the surface. Which is not to say that once in a blue moon, we don’t get somebody whose body is weighed down for nefarious reasons, but mostly it’s stupidity that causes them to get out the dive gear.

Don’t the zombies get pruney? Or soupy?

When zombies get pruney
Their skin gets green and stretches
Then their flesh begins to fall
Pitter patter pitter patter
Branes are gone
So what can matter
A sweet shotgun comes to call

This thread smells like farts and barf. WTF?

Sure, eventually the corpses float. But until they do, you’ve got zombies on the lake or ocean floor. And around here, mostly the sheriff’s department needs divers because people don’t realize that 1/2? thick ice and 6? thick ice look pretty much the same from the surface. Which is not to say that once in a blue moon, we don’t get somebody whose body is weighed down for nefarious reasons, but mostly it’s stupidity that causes them to get out the dive gear.

Oh, sure! People get tangled in the grass on the bottom, shit like that. I’ve done searches as part of my rescue training, and we’re always told about the bits of the bottom where things get tangled.

Here’s the test: next year, when the lake is clear, have your friend strip down to his trunks, float on his back and exhale. You’ll find he doesn’t sink, mostly because there’s air in many places in your body (GI tract, and so on) that keeps you afloat.

Places like sinuses are obvious, but one many people overlook is inside the bones themselves. And of course, there’s gas dissolved inside the body tissues themselves.

So what pulled me out of that was the fact that zombies were walking and moving about. Tell me they’re tied down somehow, sure, that I can believe, but your average zombie is a shell of anerobic bacteria creating all sorts of foul gases that get trapped in tissue.

They’ll float.

in Haiku:

Pruney zombie sinks
gases form and percolate
soupy zombie sinks

Soupy Sales was annoying enough while breathing. I don’t want to think of him as a shambler.

My girlfriend done died (badadadaDUM)
I spent the week cried (badadadaDUM)
She rose from the dead (badadadaDUM)
Almos’ bit off my head (badadadaDUM)
I dropped her in the drink (badadadaDUM)
She didn’t quite sink (badadadaDUM)
Her skin cracked and broke (badadadaDUM)
Her face was a joke! (badadadaDUM)
I got the floating dead girlfriend zombie bluuuuuuuuues……

Soupy Sales was annoying enough while breathing. I don’t want to think of him as a shambler.

Careful there. He was a neighbor. I got to meet White Fang and Black Fang. Well, their gloves, at any rate.

Wouldn’t the were-sharks eat the zombies?

Only some of the time.

float on his back and exhale. You’ll find he doesn’t sink

This is what, I am trying to convey, does not happen. My friend, when he does this, sinks like a rock.

My friend, when he does this, sinks like a rock.

He must be a load of fun at a pool party.

He must be a load of fun at a pool party.

Since he is so fit, he has had people encourage him to do an Iron Man triathlon. His reply is the only way he could swim two miles would be if they were straight down.

but your average zombie Dennis is a shell of anerobic bacteria creating all sorts of foul gases that get trapped in tissue.

Fixed that for you.

Fixed that for you.

I imagine zrm will not be muchly amused, being compared to DenDen.

I imagine zrm will not be muchly amused, being compared to DenDen.

I doubt he’ll even read it. He went to the pool to find out if he sinks or floats.

Actor, Helmut – I sink in a pool when I exhale. I used to freak out my friends by sitting for a minute or so on the bottom.

On another topic, does Santa love us this much? : http://news.yahoo.com/rush-limbaugh-vs-fox-news-gingrich-schism-095000144.html

Rush vs Fox? Sounds like Alien vs Predator.

I have no doubt that Megan Fox can beat the crap out of Geddy Lee?

Rassin frassin virtual keyboard punctuation grumble…

I used to freak out my friends by sitting for a minute or so on the bottom.

Still or were you paddling upwards?

I thought you were just an up-talker.

I have no doubt that Megan Fox can beat the crap out of Geddy Lee?

My dead grandmother could beat the crap out of that flyweight.

While doing D-KW

I thought you were just an up-talker.

His voice only rises on the dipthong.

Still. I would sit like Buddha with my legs ready to spring for the surface when I needed air.

I also sink. I can sit on the bottom of a pool with enough air in my lungs to stay there for a minute. I have sunk in some very shallow waters in the Pacific. I don’t think it’s exclusively a lean muscle mass thing. None of my siblings float and while none of us is particularly overweight, we do span a pretty large range of “being in shape.” Teh eldest dives. He’s told me that he uses a 7 lb weight belt in salt water.

Still. I would sit like Buddha with my legs ready to spring for the surface when I needed air.

Last question: against a wall?

He’s told me that he uses a 7 lb weight belt in salt water.

That’s actually heavy for a lean human. Most free divers I know have four or five pounds on their belt. I use 8-10 in full gear (minus wet suit) and I’m by no means skeletal.

Sitting. No paddling. I can sit on my hands at the bottom of a pool.

With a lungful of air, I don’t quite sink. Raising both arms above my head, both hands and some forearm stay above water. Sometimes the top of my head breaks the surface.

So how much weight would it take to keep a body from surfacing?

Um, no reason, just curious.

In my dry suit, in fresh water, it takes 22 pounds of lead to keep my 5’10” 190lbs of me from bobbing to the surface like a cork.

Sitting. No paddling. I can sit on my hands at the bottom of a pool.

Either you’re misunderstanding what still means or your skeleton is made of adamantium. Either way, you might want to get the local uni to study you. You could be neutrally buoyant, which means you might sit on the bottom, but you wouldn’t stay on the bottom.

But no human is ever negatively buoyant unless they’re wearing a full set of clothes.

That’s actually heavy for a lean human.

Okay. I really have no idea. Being a not-floater discourages participation in marine recreation, even ones where not-floating is sort of the point. Don’t get me wrong, I can swim – but it takes a heckuva lot outta me. And liek all Canuckistanians, I’m okay in a canoe – but being in the water doesn’t seem as much fun to me as it looks like it is to others.

No wall. I could float on my back with my lungs full of air, but if I exhaled I would sink.

So how much weight would it take to keep a body from surfacing?

Um, no reason, just curious.

You’d probably be better off tying the, um, volunteer down to a permanent structure, like a large rock or a pipe. Unless they have really big pockets.

or your skeleton is made of adamantium.

Well, he is Canadian.

In my dry suit, in fresh water, it takes 22 pounds of lead to keep my 5’10? 190lbs of me from bobbing to the surface like a cork.

What fill are you wearing under the suit? That’s not bad weighting for a dry suit.

Just to be clear I would need to exhale at least 3/4 out before I could sink. I have tested it by lying perfectly still as I sank and I still hit the bottom.

What fill are you wearing under the suit? That’s not bad weighting for a dry suit.

That’s for in the summer, so I am only wearing lycra running tights and shirt under the dry suit, In the winter, when I would be wearing my insulated diving undergarment I am sure I’d need another 5-10 lbs.

I have tested it by lying perfectly still as I sank and I still hit the bottom.

I’d really have to see this to believe it. Maybe, if you told me you were vertical in the water and exhaled, but the resistance of the water alone makes this sound pretty implausible.

What kind of water temps are you diving that you need a dry suit, but only a T shirt? Or did you just decide it made more sense to dive dry year round?

it made more sense to dive dry year round

This. I live in Wisconsin.

Oh yah, that would make sense, then. Lake Michigan or are you farther inland?

Plus, in the murky water hereabouts, I like having rubberized kevlar between me and whatever sharp rusty piece of trash the locals dispose of. In 1′ visibility, it is easy to brush up against stuff you can’t see.

but the resistance of the water alone makes this sound pretty implausible.

Here’s what happens. You kick your legs up so that you’re horizontal, on your back. Maybe pinching your nose because you know what happens next. The momentum from going up eventually vanishes and your legs start to sink. Then as your body gets to around a 45 degree angle, instead of just rotating in the water, you just get pulled under, and you start to sink at roughly that angle until you hit bottom.

Further inland. I have mostly dove in Lake Mendota, Devil’s Lake and Lake Wazee. I haven’t dove much lately, because one murky chilly lake bottom, looks much like another. When I have been traveling I did dive in New Zealand and Australia, but I haven’t had the money to go traveling lately.

Actor, I (used to, not sure anymore, given that I’ve added…um…bouyancy since the last time I tried) sink in a pool if I exhaled. It’s not all that unusual. And by sink, I mean drop to the bottom and stay there. I’d have to push off the bottom to get back to the surface.

Yeah, um, y’know, fascinating as all this is, I think we need to move on to puns or something before this thread sinks like a sack of batteries.

Didn’t Galileo prove that fat men and thin men pushed out of windows pizza themselves on the pavement at the same time?

D-KW, I’m not saying it’s impossible to drop to the bottom, but as you point out, you need a momentum-generating event in most cases.

There are a handful of people, very muscular, very lean, who might be able to lie perfectly still on the surface of a pool and sink, but even those would probably have to slide beneath the surface either head or (more likely) feet first.

OK, Aunt. Name a topic to pun on.

I think there are any number of divers topics we could float…

This is a weighty subject, but maybe I’m just dense.

Just because it is a difficult argument doesn’t mean it is insoluble.

For his typical assholery and efforts to disseminate personal information about posters, Dennis has been banned again and his posts deleted.

When he slithers back in, he’ll have to use another name as well. You should also not use his name in a comment or it will be thrown into a black hole by WordPress.

Please email me at tintin@sadlyno.com when he shows up and I will take care of him. I don’t always track these threads 24/7 but I do watch my mail. Emails to that address will show up on my Droid in case I’m away from the computer which, surprisingly, does happen from time to time.

All hail Tintin! He understands the gravity of the current discussion.

Tanks Tintin!

i have come to the conclusion that i will never ever die from drowning because i am super bouyant…i never get to play ‘grab the item from the bottom of the pool’ cuz i almost do a backflip trying to force my self all the way to the bottom…disocomfiting but comforting at the same time…

Didn’t Galileo prove that fat men and thin men pushed out of windows pizza themselves on the pavement at the same time?

That was his uncle Giovanni, otherwise known as “il furetto” before that ‘experimentt’ you’re referring to.

That’s just a viscous rumor.

Didn’t Galileo prove that fat men and thin men pushed out of windows pizza themselves on the pavement at the same time?

Similar research along these lines was performed in revolutionary France during the development of the Cliff-o-tine.

I’m happy to see that TinTin has decided to mask a certain troll’s name.

Poor Pennis (can we still say Pennis?). However will he fill his empty days rattling around his palatial estate with his hot ex-stripper wife?

Didn’t Galileo prove that fat men and thin men pushed out of windows pizza themselves on the pavement at the same time?

And then exclaim “Dorme con i pesce!”

However will he fill his empty days rattling around his palatial estate with his hot ex-stripper wife?

And his in-ground pool.

grrrrrrrrrrrr…i just made 3 copies of a postal form only to discover it is NOT the correct form…this is day two of my brane not working…anyone out there want it? it’s only slightly used…

Another sinker here, actor. 5’11” and change, 155#. Inhale = float, exhale = sink. With a 3mm full suit I use 7 pounds. In my shorty I only need a pound or two.

How the fuck do you stay so skinny with all the cooking you do???

How the fuck do you stay so skinny with all the cooking you do???

He uses the wonder and magic of a 21′ tapeworm.

Someone mentioned Sauerbraten? Simple is best. Put a cup or two of red wine in a saucepan. Add half cup red wine vinegar and an onion, sliced. Bring to the boil then remove from heat. Toss a couple tablespoons of pickling spice mix (its got the juniper, bay, etc. – works a treat) in there. When cool dump it in the zipper bag with your meat (I use chuck for sauerbraten), seal and set in the fridge for at least three days.

Remove the meat, reserving the likwid. Rinse it off and dry it. Put a good mother fucking sear on the bitch in a Dutch oven. Use a leetle oil and make sure it gets BROWN, DARK FUCKING BROWN on all sides. Strain the reserved marinate into the pot, cover and toss in teh obben or let it simmer on the range. You may add golden raisins at this point if you like. When it’s nearly falling apart tender, remove the meat to a cutting board. On medium heat whisk in a couple crushed Ginger snaps – IT MUST BE GINGER SNAPS GOD FUCKING DAMNIT DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT USING SOME OTHER BULLLSHIT METHOD. but be careful, a little goes a long way – start with a teensy bit and keep adding while whisking and realize that each addition does not thicken instantly, you have to whisk and let it come to the boil to realize full thickening potential. Remove from heat and whisk in a big mother fucking dollop of sour cream. Eat that shit up with good homemade rye bread and spaetzle and rotkohl.

It’s not the food calories that makes it hard to maintain a 30″ waist, it’s the booze calories. The best weapon for weight management is moderate exercise, lots of it. That’s a good thing because I can no longer run or play racketball due to the hardware in my ankle. I walk several miles with the dog, twice a day.

does Santa love us this much?

Meh. Leave the cork in the bubbly:

In Wingnuttia, kiss-&-make-up is just as common as the faux-fratricide that spawns it. Well, most of the time, anyway.

Jeebus & his (interestingly selective) ever-bloated Forgive/Repent Gland can tide over all kinds of nasty shit … it’s that magic deep-foam brainwashing “ethic-cleansing” that makes that childish nonsense so gosh-darn popular.

Wingnuts need wingnuts like a crackhead needs crack. Basking in the warmth of all that well-earned collective loathing from we in the NOT-Raised-By-Wolves-Based-Community may work like a charm to get ’em the griefer-microchubby, but when shit gets too real, it also leaves the poor wee dickens without much of an ‘Option B’ beyond … heh heh heh … MUTUAL AID.

Thus harshness doth make Commies of us all … or just pwn our shit cold.

Pupienus said,

December 9, 2011 at 19:51

thank you, thank you, thank you! although you failed me on the kneophle, you came through big time with the sauerbraten! as long as you say gingersnaps are okay, i’ll go with it…ever notice how on recipe sites people are all like, ‘this recipe has been in my family for 500 years’ or ‘i spent 10 years in germany and this is how they do it’ and they are all vastly different? i was beginning to give up! thanks for the tip on the pickling spice because as you know, i live in bumfuck NOWHERE and juniper berries are not in the local groc…

again…thank YOU!!!

On the other hand …

bbfk, gingersnaps are not just okay, they are, as Pupienus says, abso-effing-lutely necessary. My aunt used to make a gingersnap thickened sauce for beef tongue that was so good I’m drooling thinking about it. Nothing else will really do the trick.

Tapeworm? http://anadaday.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/vintage-friday-fight-fat-with-tapeworms/

[from back aways]

Be assured that 16 is a shaky time for everybody.

I actually had a pretty grand time at 16. Cool car, hot girlfriend, enough money to keep myself well stocked with weed, school was easy, and essentially zero responsibilities. I wouldn’t choose to go back, but I recognize how easy I had it back then. I would tell my 16yo self to cut his hair, although that mullet was glorious at the time.

Nothing seems to fit, nothing seems easy, and life’s future is unknown.

Yeah, that never happens to anybody other than 16 year olds. Go talk to a 50 year old that just lost their job and pension and see how they feel about:

As you grow older, hang on to the idea that life is full of promise and possibility.

Hang on tight the 1% is actively trying to rip that promising future out of your hands.

And just to return to the important topic: I also sink. And I’ll second whoever said it before: not a fan of swimming, it’s too much work to stay afloat.

At Christmas time the family’s glad
As that’s when Santa fucks your dad.
But what’s that bag of presents for?
It’s because your mom’s a whore.

Can I point out that labeling yourself as a “sinker” or “floater” may be misunderstood?

not a fan of swimming, it’s too much work to stay afloat.

And to keep the water out of your nose and ears.

I can swim but I hate it. Hate, hate, hate it. It goes back to my high school days when…I don’t even want to talk about it. Just say the mere smell of chlorinated water makes my stomach start to knot.

washing the hedgehog

Can I point out that labeling yourself as a “sinker” or “floater” may be misunderstood?

No.

Home again for the holidays
Are all the men your father lays
And that turkey that they’re all stuffin’?
That’s no bird, that’s your mom’s muffin!

Excrement has just achieved complete actualization.

Can I point out that labeling yourself as a “sinker” or “floater” may be misunderstood?

Shhhhh…not everyone watched MXC….

Poor DenDen, had to proxy over to yet another server.

boy-oh-boy jim are those some ripe mangoes over at politico

I trust Tintin has been notified? They scour through our e-mails at work with a nit comb so I can’t…

Poor DenDen, look at the rage bubbling up in this humourless dildo.

It is interesting, DenDen, that you took on the name “Jungerhungen.”

Closeted much?

Pervs are your target market, aren’t they, actor.

Certainly seems to be the case with respect to you! 🙂

Why? Did you buy him one?

As I recall, Kaelin became rather famous and made a fair amount of money off the notoriety.

Jealous, DenDen?

DenDen, quick question: as a humourless dildo, would you endorse a wetsuit? How about two?

Poor Pennis, can’t wait to degrade himself like a senile drag queen desperately trying to get into a bar @ 1:45 in the morning.

Can we just lock you two in a room and let you get your frustrations sorted out quietly?

The only thing is, the world is going to google your name and see what a freak stalker you are, since RS Stacey McCain’s fisking of you is the first thing that comes up, and your writing fake reviews on Amazon for conservative writers and sending letters to the dean of schools for conservative professors who you’re enraged with.

Yes, yes, I know, until the trial. But then I’ll be rich and famous, and you’ll still be living in your mom’s basement, scraping the callouses on her feet.

Can we just lock you two in a room and let you get your frustrations sorted out quietly?

Talk to the dildo. You don’t see ME chasing him around, do you?

Poor DenDen, his girdle must be on a little tight there, DA.

So, DenDen, answer the question: As a humourless dildo, what brand of wetsuit do you endorse?

DenDen, I can buy your entire fucking rehab center gated community tonight, if I choose.

Much like your intellect and penis, your things are too small to impress me.

Tintin is not the owner of this site.

Pennis, please get help, I fear for your safety.

Pups, DenDen is just upset because he had been running around with a mask and towel, errr, cape on, pretending to be some great neocon avenger, only to slip up (as he always does) and fuck himself in the ass.

He’s desperate. And once he sobers up…yea, DenDen, I know about that too…he’ll be fine

If that were true, you’d be sending money to Cerb and Jeffraham so they don’t get kicked out of their houses.

Are you? Cuz if you fund half, I’ll pay the rest.

Besides, remember? Cerb doesn’t like me.

19″ neck? I haven’t had a 19″ neck since I was a powerlifter.

Old Saint Nick loves to slide his prick through your dad’s back door
But that’s not so queer, compared to reindeer all lined up for yer mum teh whore.

People have to like you in order for you to lend a hand to them?

So you’ve put up half the bailout money?

Old Saint Nick loves to slide his prick through your dad’s back door
But that’s not so queer, compared to reindeer all lined up for yer mum teh whore.

Catchy tune. I give it a 75

There are three distinct chins in that goofy pic you have wearing that chapeau to hide your bald head.

You mean the photo taken when I was a powerlifter.

For someone who doesn’t stalk me, you sure spend an inordinate amount of time stalking me.

Father Christmas has toys in his sack
But your father has toys up his crack
He’s worked his ass until there’s trauma,
But that’s still nothing compared to yer mama.

So when you putting up the money for Cerb and Jeff, DenDen?

Father Christmas has toys in his sack
But your father has toys up his crack
He’s worked his ass until there’s trauma,
But that’s still nothing compared to yer mama.

The elves all know,
When Santa’s on the go,
Your mom’s the place they can snack

You keep believing what you want to believe about yourself, Elmer. We here all know you better than that, and are laughing at you.

Two kids in out of state college eating a hole in my wallet

What? They don’t pay their own freight? What kind of capitalist are you? Poor DenDen! And when your kids turn their backs on you, after they realize what a creep you are, you’ll get all “Why did I ever let them use me?”

Which will be fun to watch.

So when you putting up your half?

State college, huh? Too cheap to send them to a real school or did they fail high school?

It must be hard, having to watch your kids flounder, knowing there’s nothing you can do.

State college, nonetheless.

Obviously, their grades were…average.

Not that there’s anything wrong with average, like your average house and average wife. You have average kids.

And a small dick. That, you ought to be concerned about.

But you just keep trying harder, DenDen. Maybe one day you and your kids can rise to the level of mediocrity!

I know, I know, but with small steps and a little bit of patience, maybe they can be letter-carriers or move up from Denny’s to waiting tables at IHOP…

Whale Chowder said,

December 9, 2011 at 21:03

thanks…i won’t be eating any muffins anytime soon…

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them and they’re both wonderful kids

Except get them a tutor. Or SAT classes. You know, stuff that makes a difference.

But hey, I’m sure their X-Box skills are spectacular!

I found this amusing. It’s cute when wingnuts think they can be humorous.

Come come, DenDen, when you putting up your half?

You could mortgage that thimble you call a “house”

Maybe your wife will give you some if you do show you’re not the greedy selfish, child-beating bastard you say you are.

All this talk of moms and xmas and such reminds me of this.

All this talk of moms and xmas and such reminds me of this.

That’s a Friday night date for DenDen and his mom.

I found this amusing. It’s cute when wingnuts think they can be humorous.

wait…didn’t we read earlier that even the ‘establishment conservative media’ (which i didn’t even know there was such a thing being all we hear about is the liberal lamestream media) is against newt also? is it possible that virtually everyone agrees that newt is a bad choice? except strategically?

also, is the pissing contest over? i don’t want to get my shoes wet…

is it possible that virtually everyone agrees that newt is a bad choice?

I, for one, welcome the challenge of Newt Gingrich and a candidacy filled with all the cunning and savvy he possesses.

also, is the pissing contest over?

DenDen’s drinking a glass of courage, I bet.

is it possible that virtually everyone agrees that newt is a bad choice?

Everyone knows Newt is a bad choice—but it’s Newt’s “turn”. Unless the monster the GOP has created slips the leash—then anything can happen. But if the party apparatchiks have their way, he will be the nominee.

Pennis’s wifey needs to read this:

Although there are myriad studies on “down-low” behavior, most case analyses do not place emphasis on the warning indications. Thus, I think that it would prove beneficial and value-adding to discuss at least five ways you may be able to tell if your man could be possibly engaging in “brokeback activity,” without being intrusive. As a caveat, no human is perfect, so the presence of one of the following signs does not necessarily indicate that your man is engaging in this type of clandestine behavior. However, the more indications of these anomalies that you observe, it is very likely that you may be married to or courting a “down-low” man:

……………………………………………………………………………………….

He engages in more non-verbal communication with men than you. Typically, men greet each other with firm handshakes and other “macho” forms of non-verbal communication. Sometimes, men just give each other a head nod with a familiar greeting, “What up?” Of course, greeting among men can vary depending on culture and religion. But, when you observe your man hugging, touching or looking at another man just a little bit too long, then your unspoken uneasiness may be valid. Especially, if he does not hug, touch or look at you with the same amount of intimacy.

Love the photo, I didn’t know using chopsticks made you gay.

DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

But, if you observe your man talking to another man on a consistent basis for a relatively long period of time, then this may be a warning sign. Again, especially, if he does not consistently engage in such intimate and long conversation with you.

Pissing contests don’t end. They peter out.

Battleaxe-

I assumed it was Romney’s “turn” but that everyone both base and money-men alike were searching for anyone else to have their turn because they don’t really want the base deciding that their hatred of Mormons is enough to actually start thinking about issues rather than following raw tribal identities.

And Gingrich is the current Not-Romney to get their time in the sun.

I’m actually a little worried if Romney gets the nod because the raw batshittery of the other primary contestants will make it easier to sell him as Bush 2.0 (the moderate compassionate conservative who is above partisanship as long as it means supporting conservative orthodoxy). I’m hoping that the lurch rightward to appease the base and keep them from wandering off in “Romney is the anti-christ” directions will prevent that.

I don’t know about JP, but I know I definitely enjoy being used as a rhetorical football and my real problems being treated like a weapon to hurt another person.

Truly this kindness shows me the infinite love of conservatism and why I should never again notice how fucking broken this system is. Because then maybe some rich person would think about taking pity on me, but only rhetorically (because they are only rhetorically wealthy) and let me live.

So much kinder than having a functioning safety net and economy.

Yeah, if you think this pissing contest is going to end, urine for a surprise.

Cerb:

You may be right about it being Romney’s turn, but Newt’s been at it longer, I thought. I really don’t think the party drones want Romney, because his record as Governor of “Taxachusetts” (Ha, ha, see what I did there? I kill me!) is probably more “liberal”, on points, than Obama’s record as President, and they know damn well he won’t “stay bought” once he gets in office.

P.S.: I still remember That Was the Week that Was after Romney’s Old Man’s campaign self-destructed:

Hang down your head, George Romney

Hang down your head and cry…

Yeah, if you think this pissing contest is going to end, urine for a surprise.

are you kidneying me?!?!?

Battleaxe-

I don’t know, he only had a “more liberal” record in MA because that’s what he needed to get elected to backdoor the Republican wrecking crew in and hide all the double-dealings that will probably arise over the course of the decade in horrifying ways.

I have no doubt that if bought to the presidency, he’d stay bought and be less likely to go off the reservation than a true-believer like Perry or Bachmann and definitely less than a born grifter like Newt. He’d basically be another Bush Jr, easily lead by whatever Vice they put in to control him (honestly, his meanness reminds me more of The Smiler in Transmetropolitan).

But I think the party heads are really nervous about the mormon thing and especially how much they’ve demonized anyone who comes from MA as being “tainted”. I think they’re really worried about the very loose control over the 27% who practically are the party now and worried that giving them Romney might cause them to start abandoning ship and either scrapping the Republican brand completely or actually wake up from the tribal loyalties and start thinking.

And so if it turns out to be Romney, they’ll do their best, but in the meantime they’ll be floating out every not-Romney they can.

So, DenDen, I think now you ought to ante up 70% of the funds.

Yeah, if you think this pissing contest is going to end, urine for a surprise.

are you kidneying me?!?!?

These jokes are bad and getting bladder.

Can you at least give me that?

Look at the fucking welfare queen, asking for a handout.

You may be right about it being Romney’s turn, but Newt’s been at it longer, I thought.

Cerb’s right: Newt never threw his hat in the ring previous to this race, where Romney spent a boatload of money in 2008. That makes him the heir apparent to the mantle of the man who loses to Obama

If those boys really need to engage in such childish pissing contests, I say let them pee.

If those boys really need to engage in such childish pissing contests, I say let them pee.

DenDen’s bringing a sippy straw to a fire hose contest.

Since when do leopards have stripes?

shhhhhhhh!!!

Since when do leopards have stripes?

Since the promotion to sergeant. Duh.

My picture of the Republican process for choosing a candidate is the cabal that chose Sideshow Bob to run against Mayor Quimby on The Simpsons, so I’ll defer to more knowledegable people.

Since when do leopards have stripes?

You actually catch more flies with vinegar.

You called Obama a charlatan, actor.

You were right then

My mind hasn’t changed, DenDen. Unlike you, I’m not a mindless sheeple.

And with half my brain tied behind my back…… just to make it fair.

I feel back for the mole rat tied behind your back.

I am *SO* for Grinchy as the nominee. The wingnuts are all champing at the bit because they’re all like “ZOMG, Grinchy is like the smartest guy EVAR!!1111 He’s so going to PWN Hope-changey! Hopey-changey? More like Poopy-Changey— DIAPER, amirite?!!!! WOLVARINES!!!11” Newt is the kind of guy dumb people think is smart.

It’ll be so funny when Hopey mops the floor with Grinchy. For that reason alone, I am for Grinchy. Just the debates. Just give me the debates.

I mean, I should at least get to enjoy the debates, ‘cuz I’m guessing i won’t enjoy Hopey’s 2nd term that much.

Since when do leopards have stripes?

Since Rush Limbaugh announced it on his radio program

obviously, the in-depth diving discussion was not noted by someone…

Dude, how desperate are you that you’re spending your free time on your iPhone trying to keep pace with someone you can’t keep pace with on your desktop?

I mean, I should at least get to enjoy the debates

we should all get to enjoy the debates! isn’t that the joy of being a modern woman?

It’ll be so funny when Hopey mops the floor with Grinchy.

It will be sad to see an old white guy pounding the floor with his feet and fists, crying in frustration.

I mean, funny.

BTW, Romney is the official establishment choice. Believe this. Most establishment Republicans are not clinically insane or mentally-challenged and understand that nominating Grinchy will be the death of the party…at least until the next re-dumbification of the country.

Diving? Is THAT what the sinker versus floater discussion was about?

DenDen, here’s the difference between you and me.

I’m about to leave my office for the weekend. I’m about to shut down my machine, and with it, I kill any thought I might give you, or about you.

You? Are owned.

Enjoy your servitude, sonny!

It will be sad to see an old white guy pounding the floor with his feet and fists, crying in frustration.

I want to see see him stutter and see his face turn red. ON A STAGE.

Diving? Is THAT what the sinker versus floater discussion was about?

If you’d like, we can switch to fishing.

You know, that battle of brains versus brawn, altho in DenDen’s case, the brains would be down by the hook end.

Diving? Is THAT what the sinker versus floater discussion was about?

what did you think it was about? doughnuts?

I want to see see him stutter and see his face turn red. ON A STAGE.

“Mr President, your rebuttal?”

“Thank you. Mr. Speaker, I’ve been married only once. How many divorces have you been through?”

For what it’s worth, The Wall Street Journal, not naming a source, printed the following in its September 20, 1991 issue,
Quote:
Tennessee Sen. Gore, blasting Bush for trying to appear pro-environment with his Grand Canyon trip, declared on the Senate floor that “a zebra cannot change its spots”; but the Congressional Record has him saying “stripes.” [From Ronald G. Shafer’s “Washington Wire,” Pg. A1.]
Little tough to know what to do with the following snippet from The Congressional Record, which has Gore using “stripes,” but there you go,
Quote:
Mr. President, the Bush record on the environment is a fraud. The gap between his rhetoric and his record is as deep and broad as the Grand Canyon itself. And I just want to say this: Anyone who sees George Bush as the environmental President at the Grand Canyon ought to look closely for Elvis, alive and well, rafting by on the Colorado River. A zebra cannot change its stripes by standing on a busy street corner in a city. And neither can George Bush become the environmental President by standing in front of one of the most beautiful and scenic places in the entire world. [From “Gore Calls Bush Grand Canyon Visit Environmental Hogwash,” Wednesday, September 18, 1991, 102nd Cong. 1st Sess., 137 Cong Rec S 13202, Vol. 137 No. 129.]

Source: Snopes

Yes, DenDen, how silly of me not to know of an alleged mis-statement of Al Gore’s reported in the September 20,1991 Wall Street Journal.

It will be sad to see an old white guy pounding the floor with his feet and fists, crying in frustration.

I want to see see him stutter and see his face turn red. ON A STAGE.

this is playing out in my head as that cartoon ‘li’l bush’…or bugs bunny…either one would be enjoyable…

Yes, DenDen, how silly of me not to know of an alleged mis-statement of Al Gore’s reported in the September 20,1991 Wall Street Journal.

Errrr, DenDen said “leopard” not “zebra” so he fucked up his own snark…

Most establishment Republicans are not clinically insane or mentally-challenged

With apologies to our gracious hosts and overlords who’ll probs be getting email regarding a nymshifting troll – Sadly, No!

this is playing out in my head as that cartoon ‘li’l bush’

OMG, I thought I was the only person who watched that show. I guess we were the only 2, which is why it didn’t last.

OMG, I thought I was the only person who watched that show. I guess we were the only 2, which is why it didn’t last.

dang…our brilliance may never be appreciated…but can’t you totes see newt with his eyes all scrunchy and only 3 feet tall?

Lol–yes.

That Jonah guy is so smart.

Two kids in out of state college eating a hole in my wallet

Can’t you just get another mortgage on that 5000 s.f. house?

Snob Felater said,

December 10, 2011 at 0:45 (kill)

Why hello there, how you doin’?

bbkf said,
December 10, 2011 at 0:26

what did you think it was about? doughnuts?

POOPY!!!!!!

Carl Jungenhungen has been flushed. And please folks, when he slithers back with a new nym, do not engage him. It takes time away from the time I could use to write posts to come in here and clean up his droppings. And if you ignore him, he will go away sooner or later.

Waooooh!

The wingnuts are all champing at the bit because they’re all like “ZOMG, Grinchy is like the smartest guy EVAR!!1111 He’s so going to PWN Hope-changey! Hopey-changey? More like Poopy-Changey— DIAPER, amirite?!!!! WOLVARINES!!!11?

It’s an article of faith for them that Obama is an affirmative action candidate who got through school because of his color – or to put it the way they really want to: “stupid n***er is stupid”.

Obama would calmly and deliberately turn Newt into a spittle-flecked pile of incoherent rage. It will be beautiful to see.

PENIS.

It’s an article of faith for them that Obama is an affirmative action candidate who got through school because of his color

How did that happen exactly? At first he was the elitist intellectual professor, Mr. Smarty McSmartypants. Then all of a sudden he’s an inarticulate idjit.

Hey, soliciting food ideas. We’re doing butter chicken tonight, but we’re going to try something a bit different and serve it on pearl barley. Anyways, we’ve also got an opo/indian long squash that’s going to be salad. Any suggestions on dressing it?

Opos are kinda like zucchini, if that helps.

How did that happen exactly? At first he was the elitist intellectual professor, Mr. Smarty McSmartypants. Then all of a sudden he’s an inarticulate idjit.

He’s a floor wax AND a dessert topping!

Also too, since I didn’t mention it previously,,,

Bravo Tintin, definitely a +1 for teh post title.

we’re going to try something a bit different and serve it on pearl barley

Well that’s different all right. What is she, a zombie now or something?

DKW – If you’re trying to stay with the Indian theme I’d probably do a yogurt based salad dressing.

Anyways, we’ve also got an opo/indian long squash that’s going to be salad. Any suggestions on dressing it?

Well I’d suggest something slimming that emphasizes the bust. If the squash is a “winter” I’d suggest primary colors, otherwise earth tones.

All teh Fine Young Cannibals indeed. Does no one have any suggestions for long squash? I know it’s traditionally cooked into a curry, but we’re looking to keep some of teh texture. That’s one of teh reasons we’re having barley instead of basmati or naan.

Ultra Ninja’s mom was leaning towards caesar, but that sounds kinda weird with butter chicken. I’m thinking a sweet fruit vinaigrette, maybe with carrots and red onion in as well.

DKW – Sorry, I thought the squash was going to be part of your salad.

For cooking it, I’d probably slice it thin, saute it with maybe a little garlic and mix it in with the pearl barley.

Teh squash is going to be salad. I wouldn’t put long squash into butter chicken!

Opo has a very mild and delicate flavour, which is teh polite way of saying that it doesn’t taste like much at all (unless you let it overripen when it gets bitter). What it does have is a nice half-soft, half-crunchy texture. I want to maintain that, which is why I’m making salad with it.

Check that, it’s not really crunchy. More like crisp. Really similar to zucchini or summer squash.

If that’s the case then I’d go back to my original suggestion of a yogurt-based salad dressing.

I make a salad with very thinly-sliced zucchini, & lemon juice, olive oil, pesto dressing. If you let the zucchini slices marinate a for awhile in the dressing, it’s pretty amazing. The pesto is really just gilding the lily. Last time I made it, no pesto, plus very very thinly sliced rings of red pepper. Roasted red pepper would be great.

PEPPERSPRAY ALL THE THINGS!

Might I suggest Ledgers’s Shimmering Dolly Varden Trout Paté?
Or Slavonic’s Personal Mollusc Cookie?
Or Sprint Nextel Corporation’s Annelid Matzo?
Or Siemens AG’s Bonytail Chub Tabbouli?
Or Stupidities Mnheeb’s Surf Sardine Burger?
Or LeeclParaguayan Crumbling-Suitcase’s Howler Monkey Smoothie?
Or Spotter-Encapsulate’s Offensive Leopard Shark Tart?
Or Xayr Urmoprmay’s Bat Parfait?
Or Shacora Substituting’s Sockeye Salmon Knish?
Or Comanche Telling’s Poppyseed Porridge?
Or LG Group’s Avocet Pasta ?
Or Zekhayj Grover’s Stingy Longnose Whiptail Catfish Polenta?
Or Brother Joseph’s John Dory Stroganoff?
Or Secretary Mend-Arrack’s Mora Squares?
Or Nisha-Socorro Lozploseyi’s Beautiful Threadtail Jelly?
Or Home Depot, Inc. Adult Anteater Enchilada ?
Or WPP Group plc’s Uncomfortable Spaghetti Eel Sushi?
Or Iccubcoolux’s Bocconcini Salsa?
Or Queen Forefather’s Nutria Topping?
Or Prince Kogeoffrey Capricorn-Connector’s Torrent Fish Hash?
Or Sachjoy’s Moldy Sei Whale Noodle?
Or Walbridge’s Mantella Frog Cookie?
Or Grandpa Tie’s Warmouth Pancakes?
Or Nurse Arlean’s Gnu Sticks?
Or Vooquyushuwguqu’s Moth Wonton?
Or Mayquox’s Many Flying Gurnard Cobbler?
Or General Rubie’s Scallion Punch?
Or Petroleo Brasileiro S.A. Extroverted Jack Hamantaschen?
Or Faustina’s Eccentric Anteater Crepe?
Or Wow Josiah’s Fresh Hispanic Cheese Tart?
Or Cannibalizesun Josephine’s Pearl Danio Enchilada?
Or Bivalejandra Xamaklefam’s Human Aoudad Loaf?
Or Right’s Pomegranate Pesto?
Or Vice President Surprisingly’s Baboon’s Blood Consomme?
Or Rear Admiral Claudine’s Very Aged Gouda Steak?
Or Erich Anion’s Split Bryde’s Whale Sauerkraut?
Or Astonish’s Lite Coconut Milk Pancakes?
Or Klokebias Michale’s Black Bear Pate?
Or Muffle’s Cucumber Pizza?
Or Lady Beatriz’s Robiola Dumpling?
Or Brother Croylejoywehuso Evonne’s Fiore Sardo Cheese Custard?
Or Koch Industries, Inc.’s Goose Pita?
Or Refractcl Canadianizations’s Brinza Cheese Muffin?
Or Englishize Plut’s Milk Coffee?
Or Morgan Stanley Mosshead Warbonnet Couscous?
Or State Senator Providence-Heaving’s Bass Brownie?
Or Ms. Opal’s Christian Pinniped Burrito?
Or Rounds Yiwetoonothenshib’s Orange Pesto?
Or Great-Aunt Journalism-Eduardo’s Lemur Sauerkraut?
Or Aunt Adina’s Sheatfish Toast?
Or Prime-Dispatching’s Swelter’d Venom Pilaf?

Hey guys, I just wanted to remind you, in this holiday season, to fuck Lowe’s.

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/12/09/ads-all-american-muslim/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+entertainmentweekly%2Flatest+%28Entertainment+Weekly%3A++Today%27s+Latest%29

Everything’s better with pesto, but I’m trying to stay somewhat within the realm of Indian cooking to go with the butter chicken.

If you wanted to go with the sweet fruit vinagrette, you could julienne the squash along with some carrots and mix them together.

vs, Ultra Ninja’s mom also does an amazeballs summer squash salad. She says we need to start it three hours in advance for it to marinate enough. Feck.

MK, I really wish I had some yogurt in the house. We’ve decided to go with my sweet vinagrette plan, but no fruit (which I think was teh sticking point. I think we’ve only got apple cider vinegar in teh pantry right now). We’re using a honey-sweetened rice wine vinegar, with a splash of Tabasco to keep it from being too boring. With shaved carrots and red onions (like slaw). Teh Opo looks like slices of Granny Smiths! Tastes okay on right out of teh bowl, but feels liek it’s missing something. Maybe some pepperspray or Human Aoudad Loaf.

We’ll see how it goes with teh rest of dinner once babby releases her mom from teh current round of imprisonment. I got some plating to do, will update postprandials.

Your father will bang anybody who calls
With candy canes, holly or christmas tree balls
Most surprising of course was the decorative sleigh
Despite this, your mom’s still the easiest lay

Tonight’s pr0n: something I just pulled out of my ass (ewww) Mexican Burgers.

I flavored the beef with chipotle, paprika, smoked cumin, yada yada yada

Dressed them with a mayo/sour cream/avocado/chipotle/lime sauce and homemade fresh salsa and feta cheese ( did not have queso fresco)

Wow.

Or Right’s Pomegranate Pesto?

I’m not gonna lie–kinda intrigued by this.

Ok, in watching “A Mighty Wind.” I want that Mitch and Mickey song. *searches*

Unholy Cannoli, Batman! Richard Land, head Southern Baptist ethicist talks about Sec. Clinton’s U.N. speech.

I certainly don’t believe homosexuals or anyone else should be flogged or put to death for their sexual sins. However, I don’t believe homosexuals should receive special treatment over and above anyone else either. Secretary Clinton’s remarks were more than likely a painless way for the Obama administration to placate the homosexual community in the U.S.”

Now them queers are demanding special not-being-flogged-to-death rights too!

Now them queers are demanding special not-being-flogged-to-death rights too!

Give ’em an inch and they’ll take a wedding gown.

Give ’em an inch and they’ll say “where are the other seven?”

Straight folks would get flogged for boner-on-boner love too!

Straight folks would get flogged for boner-on-boner love too!

You think you’re kidding, but I think I’ve finally figured out the “special rights” crap:

“I, a straight man, am not allowed to marry another man*. Therefore, a gay man asking for the right to marry another man is demanding ‘special rights.'”

*In this state. Yet.

I shall refrain from saying anything about long squash and tossing salad.

Oops.

Ooooh! Escape from New York is on! BEST. FILM. EVAH!

I mean, Adrienne Barbeau AND Kurt Russell, how could it NOT be good?

And Donald fucking Pleasance fer chrissake!

ZOMG I forgot – Ernest gawdamn Borgnine! WIN!

The Pumaman.

That is all.

It strikes me that they could still wall that place off and trap a lot of the most horrible people in America there. I am willing to sacrifice Broadway musicals for this.

I recently read something about the root of homophobia being breedermale’s fear that faggots would treat them like they treat women.

I am willing to sacrifice Broadway musicals for this.

MONSTER!

In case anyone’s wondering how the long squash came out there’s some blogwhoring I’m doing right now. SPOILER: Pretty tasty. Would make it again.

Adrienne Barbeau? Ahhh mammaries..er memories. Best comment I ever read about her? “We’d pay to watch her breathe”

Adrienne Barbeau was a lot more impressive before we started manufacturing those things.

Adrienne Barbeau was a lot more impressive before we started manufacturing those things.

And before she was told, after the first season of Maude: “Lose weight or you’re fired.” She came back in the fall looking 20 pounds lighter and 20 years older. I really hate that kind of crap.

There is a new post…

Duh. Duh. DUH!

facepalm.jpg

This is why America can’t have nice things.

As a reward for setting a potentially lethal precedent, while thoroughly pissing off many supporters in the process, teh Democrats win … wait for it … SWEET FANNY ADAMS.