Not everything that glitters is gold
Posted on July 13th, 2011 by
Shorter Wes Vernon:
The real story of Glenn Beck’s exit from Fox?
- FOX News canceled Glenn Beck’s show because he has incontrovertible proof that there is no gold at Fort Knox. If you don’t believe me, consider
the lilies, uh, well, the birdsthe fact that Alan Greenspan’s wedding to Andrea Mitchell was very elaborate.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
oh srsly…do i have to be first every time?
Beck was fired because of the queers, who are in it with the aliens.
I like you Wes, you’re not like the other people on the Internet!
Two threads? I’m confused.
You dumb bastard, the gold is spun by a poor miller’s daughter under the supervision of a pedophilic elf. Then the gold is turned into pennies, from which all other forms of money are made, in a process that requires sodomy under the full moon. Also furries.
1) Construct a massive security apparatus to protect gold that does not even exist.
2) ???
3) FIAT CURRENCY!
How about a “reboot” of Goldfinger, with Beck as James Bond, and Sarah Palin as Pussy Galore?
Speculation is responsible.
The Founders say you’re an affhole, Vernon.
I asked to inspect the Coca-Cola plant, but security wouldn’t let me on the grounds. That, combined with a rumor that Coca-Cola is run by crypto-commie-muslisexuals hell-bent on overdosing us with fluoride, causes me to suspect that Coca-Cola is NOT MADE WITH COCAINE AT ALL.
No gold in Fort Knox. I knew that had to be hyperbole, so….I had to look. Last line:
But it is reasonable to speculate that this issue figured in his departure from even the more conservative-leaning Fox News.
Yes, “this issue”, that there is no gold in Fort Knox. Oh, that Beckster.
I have a lovely buncha coconuts, deedily dee
there they are a-standing in a row
big ones, small ones, some as big as your head…
It couldn’t possibly be that the rampant pant-shitting and crying over things like say, the controvertible existence of gold at Ft Knox, which is locked up tighter than itself…
I’m just relieved to know it’s not Soros this time. I was beginning to believe that guy runs everything.
Why does this guy hate America?
He is curiously exonerated from having Beck dismembered, and suddenly you show up. I think he DOES run everything. I’m never leaving my house.
Of course there is no gold in Fort Knox, Dick Cheney shipped it all to Iraq where KBR embezzled it.
Please to not interrupt threadhogging, T&U
Dick Cheney shipped it all to Iraq where KBR embezzled it.
Rick Perry smuggled over there in his HUGE opening.
you’re not like the other people on the Internet!
For which the rest of the internets are grateful.
You dumb bastard, the gold is spun by a poor miller’s daughter under the supervision of a pedophilic elf. Then the gold is turned into pennies, from which all other forms of money are made, in a process that requires sodomy under the full moon. Also furries.
I don’t know why you haven’t gotten rich writing children’s books. Perhaps you shouldn’t do your own illustration.
McG. is no doubt waiting for an e-reader that will allow amusing .gifs of cute animals & stuff. Or cute stuffed animals.
The “real” story behind Glenn Beck’s departure? Profit, or lack thereof. His schtick got old and he wasn’t making them money anymore. You’d think these die-hard free market glibertarian types would understand that kind of thing. But yeah, it was a conspiracy to hide a supposed lack of gold at Ft. Knox. Somehow I think these people have never heard of Occam’s razor.
I should really remember to trust the shorter. On the other hand, this is pretty funny:
He sold his soul “once”?
Isn’t that the only chance you get? WTF? Was he all “woah, uh, hey, Satan? Yeah, y’know that deal we made a while back? Yeah, my soul, that one. Well, y’see, uh, y’know I heard you say no takesies backsies and everything, but well, I know I’m all famous and all like you promised, but…”
I really do not understand religious people of any ilk.
Beck leaves Fox and Murdoch’s empire start’s to crumble. A coincidence?
God, a lot of conspiracy theories are at least entertaining in their ridiculousness, but Fed cranks are just boring as hell. Add that to the fact that they by all appearances can’t fathom the idea of anyone in any setting not wanting to hear about it.
Nah, that was def. Soros.
Add that to the fact that they by all appearances can’t fathom the idea of anyone in any setting not wanting to hear about it.
And then add the fact that they’re OMFG FEDRUL RESRV IS NOT LEGAL AND SUCH is invariably followed by a plug for Ron Paul…yeah, it gets old in a big fat hurry.
Modern Amway “representatives”.
T&U! She lives!
How’s the cankle?
Hi, Looch.
Not too bad. I get a little swelling and there’s this weird tendon that gets all pissy if I stand too long, but it’s mostly normal. I have a feeling it’s probably about as good as it’s going to get, given that it’ll be a year since I hurt myself quite soon.
But it is reasonable to speculate that this issue figured in his departure from even the more conservative-leaning Fox News.
Sure, why not, though not because it hits close to the target but because it’s yet another example of his being nuttier than squirrel poop.
I think the years I spent in that vault gathering dust were the happiest time of my life.
Yeah I miss it, but I also never deluded myself into thinking it would last forever.
So,
1. Fox was perfectly OK when Beck had the incontrovertible proof that teh President was a Communist…
2. Fox was perfectly OK when Beck had the incontrovertible proof that Soros was the master puppeter of all evil
2. …but fires him when they found out he has the incontrovertible proof that the gold is gone…
Question: if Fox is not afraid to expose Obama AND Soros, then who is running the gold conspiracy that so scares them? Valdermot?
Valdermot?
do not say that name!
How about a “reboot” of Goldfinger, with Beck as James Bond, and Sarah Palin as Pussy Galore?
I’m ready to audition for the part of Barfulo Vomiternity.
Beck’s penchant for independent thought
real world translation: thought independent of any logic, reason or fact…
How about a “reboot” of Goldfinger, with Beck as James Bond, and Sarah Palin as Pussy Galore?
i’m thinking more of a ‘reboot’ of goldmember w/beck as fat bastard and palin as ima kent*
*veilednaughtycwordreference*
ot: we all knew those joos are evil baby eaters
Corn-u-copia of posting going on.
How about a “reboot” of Goldfinger, with Beck as James Bond, and Sarah Palin as Pussy Galore?
That’s more of a rebarf.
How about a “reboot” of Goldfinger, with Beck as James Bond, and Sarah Palin as Pussy Galore?
I dunno. Would they have to do the judo-flips-in-the-hayloft scene?
The fact is that this country is on the verge of bankruptcy due to the policies of big government liberals like Obama and even Fox wants to soften that reality by taking off a guy like Glenn Beck, who is an American hero for helping wake up millions to the facts.
The reality is that we’re in the Obama depression and within weeks of bankruptcies due to irresponsibility.
Obama doesn’t want to do his job. He huffs and cries and storms out of meetings instead of discussing and coming to some sort of last minute solution to prevent a default.
The default will happen and it’s on Obama. The Democrats are the party of defeat, deviation, and depression, and they are going to be wiped out nationwide in 2012 and finally we can return to government based on the constitution instead of the government based on communism that Obama wants.
It really is that easy, folks!
Instant religion.
Gary Ruppert said,
July 14, 2011 at 2:23
Meh. I give it a 6.5.
Actually, T&U, don’t give up. I pulled something helping my “brother-in-law” (is brother-out-law a word?) move. (Hold your arm straight out and bend your elbow 90%, then try to turn your forearm like a dial pointer. I couldn’t do that for like a year and a half—I had to turn my upper arm vertically and pull with my deltoids to perform that kind of action. Eventually it got better.) So, my point is, a year is nothing. Give it time.
yes, novak is certainly the epitome of journalistic standards, and i also find it pretty incredible that a right-wing conservative would look down his nose at somebody’s gross excess…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
where’ve ya been?
somebody’s gross excess…
especially THAT person’s gross excess…
where’ve ya been?
She’s gonna claim she has a life.
Elitist.
I should really remember to trust the shorter. On the other hand, this is pretty funny:
OBS, I always trust the shorter. That said, I occasionally find myself adventurous and tempted.
Sometimes forays off the boat and into the swamp are productive, and the retrieval and return with mangoes do us all a great service (esp. those of us not constitutionally inclined to wade in those fetid waters).
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Whats wrong with him?
He says the birds are scrounging
Clearly the real problem lies in the fact that the reality presented to us by those who are privy to the truth that lies outside the purview of ordinary Americans is in fact skewed in ways that cause that reality to not seem to be the truth except in times where the truth would be inconvenient to those who are without the ability to control access to the true wealth that lies within the pockets of those who have not in fact earned it but in actuality have merely come across that wealth in various manners that would not be considered to be in any way what one would construe as “fair” or “honest” at least when taking a non-Randian approach to the reality presented to the public at large at this point in them thus the pervading desire for those with way too much fucking time on their hands to write about gold of all things. Jesus get a life.
real world translation: thought independent of any logic, reason or fact…
*snort*
i’m thinking more of a ‘reboot’ of goldmember w/beck as fat bastard and palin as ima kent*
ICWYDT, but did you have to use my name to do it?
😉
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Well, the Fed does create money out of thin air, and they do lend it to bankers who are trying to destroy the US, but this isn’t a secret.
Pardon, but the C should really be an S in ISWYDT.
Thanks in advance for your kindness.
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Thares NO INCLINZ IN TEH COMSTITUTIN!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, novak is certainly the epitome of journalistic standards, and i also find it pretty incredible that a right-wing conservative would look down his nose at somebody’s gross excess…
I find it incredible that he pretended to know anything about people working paycheck to paycheck, except maybe how fast they go down when you hit one with your corvette convertible.
ha ha We got all your gold. Fucking losers.
What? It was just there, what the fuck were we supposed to do?
ICWYDT, but did you have to use my name to do it?
sorry ima…
Well, the Fed does create money out of thin air, and they do lend it to bankers who are trying to destroy the US, but this isn’t a secret.
Thank you. This was exactly my too also.
That’s easy. Faux was afraid of the The Buy Moar Gold Naow people who sponsored Beck’s show. If Beck told everyone there was no more gold to be bought, they’d be really pissed.
Q.E.D.
Obama needs to show us the long-form gold certificate.
i think this is my favorite bit of wes vernon wingnuttery…i have a cartoon bubble with three dudes in suits standing in the open door of a gigantic vault filled with golden treasure…just for fun, can we come up with some captions for that bubble?
also, too…by rights (and looks) vernon should not be calling george soros ‘spooky dude’…
Wait, have the conservatives gone back to hating Greenspan now?
When the nation defaults and we are left pushing rusted shopping carts around under bridges trying to find a rat that’s plump enough to eat, perhaps we can at last have a long, honest discussion about where we went wrong as a country. There will be space for every view, from moderates who say the rich needed more tax cuts, to conservatives who say Obammy stoled all our gold. After hearing both sides out in the open forum that is cable television, we will agree that there is room for debate on the gold, but the solution is more tax cuts.
ot, but thank god somebody finally said it about nancy grace
pedestrian said,
July 14, 2011 at 3:59
is that your caption entry? if so, i must say it’s not as pithy as i expected…
sorry ima…
‘ts ok really.
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ot, but thank god somebody finally said it about nancy grace
I’ll have to leave that tab open for some time fors I nevermind a bout of the giggles.
TYVM for sharing.
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After hearing both sides out in the open forum that is cable television, we will agree that there is room for debate on the gold, but the solution is more tax cuts.
And because we still have a TV to watch the debate, and a fragment of a granite countertop in our carts, McCardle will state that there are really no poor people to worry about.
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And Malkin, of course…
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Meh. I give it a 6.5.
The usually skeptical Fenwickian judge calls Real Gary… and awards extra points for Four-Paragraph Difficulty … and Alliteration points for defeat, deviation, and depression.
Well done, sir! Well done, indeed!
…that several members of Congress had told him they had asked to see the gold our government supposedly has under ultra-tight security at Fort Knox, and were refused.
I wonder if any of these were freshmen Teahdists, like the guy who couldn’t take the fact that he didn’t qualify for the gubmint healthcare plan afore assuming office.
Shows me the Gold!!!!!111
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Rarely Guppert: The 157-word sentence was a masterwork. I salute you.
But don’t pull my finger!!!!111
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Redundant phrase is redundant.
open door of a gigantic vault filled with golden treasure
“Okay, I see the gold. But where’s Smaug? Answer me that!”
Libs. Answer me that, libs!
“Okay, I see the gold. But where’s Smaug? Answer me that, libs!”
I was going to answer that, Fenwick, but I realised I can’t remember the name of the guy who killed Smaug.
14-year-old me would weep if he could see me now.
Bard the Bowman (of Lake Town)
Oh, congrats on the many hats!
Yeah, I would have known that back then.
It’s weird how little attention I’ve payed to Tolkien the last couple years. Doctor Who has really taken up quite a bit of brain-space.
I got a black trilby and a grey fedora at a couple thrift shops today. I don’t know what to do with all my hats at this point.
Huzzah! I’ve killed two threads at the same time!
Never mind the gold, what’s happened to the US Federal Boxtop Reserve?
Wikipædia claims that the gold isn’t actually in Fort Knox. It’s in the US Bullion Depository, nearby the fort, in the bell tower, or something.
Haha, then again, I guess I am still collecting dust.
Oops, watchout! Electricity comin’ through!
Laterz!
Shorter Beck and Ruppert: Obama stole the gold to pay slavery reparations to blacks and so each former staff member of Acorn can get a free gold tooth to show off.
In other nooz, Soopah Sarah to continue milking it* for another coupl’a months.
* (filthy monkeys)
He sold his soul “once”?
Isn’t that the only chance you get? WTF? Was he all “woah, uh, hey, Satan? Yeah, y’know that deal we made a while back? Yeah, my soul, that one. Well, y’see, uh, y’know I heard you say no takesies backsies and everything, but well, I know I’m all famous and all like you promised, but…”
See Frank Zappa Titties and Beer :
Satan: “You know you ain’t supposed to wanna make a deal with me!!” FZ: “That’s ’cause I know how stupid you are Devil!”
It’s weird how little attention I’ve payed to Tolkien the last couple years.
The Peter Jackson effect, I would guess.
I’m currently re-reading The Lord of the Rings. I long ago lost count of the times I’ve read it, pored over it, studied it, word by word.
And why is that, Fenwick?
Hogeye: I want the Full Clown Car.
Full Clown Car in the sense of GOP candidates, y’unnerstand, Hogeye. I’m NOT refering to the Full Clown Cart sexual positiion.
Should be ‘Car’. But ‘Full Clown Cart’ also works.
(Hey! Maybe after the Revolution, we can call the tumbrels Full Clown Carts, and Madame LaFarge can …uh, mumble, mumble, I dunno where this was going anyway.)
My work here is done.
The Peter Jackson effect, I would guess.
Any opinion on the photos coming out for The Hobbit?
I honestly think these are our epics. The Greeks thought one could become a more refined, or at least more Greek, person by reading the Iliad and Odyssey and thoroughly internalizing their values.
Now mind you, I think the takeaway message of the Greek epics and The Lord of the Rings are almost diametrically opposite. The ancient message was that “excellence” should triumph, and all you can hope for is that you have some small sliver of it in yourself. To me, the message of the LotR is that (especially at certain very special turning points) even the least among us can make a difference.
Many-time reader too….
Is it OK to veer heavily OT here without veiled referi?
Speaking of Mangos
First band I was in. Played bass. When that vid is over I was also a memeber of the Trailside Killers
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Only a fool of a Took is at this point.
(terrible LOTR reference is terrible)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgTxgua00yQ
Not gonna do the fywp, just yet, but thinking about it.
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You should be very careful before posting on-topic here.
The linkytude of preview worked, which has me inclined, that and the url to my blog seems to contain words that send me to the five hour moderation phase, towards a spot of pique.
Serenity now, serenity now.
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You should be very careful before posting on-topic here.
Another case of the giggles is overtaking my rationality, however I will in the future attempt to comport myself with something resembling a sense of dignity. Like Kieth Moon.
🙂
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Preview is a lying sack of shit.
Try tinyurl-ing your blog url. Should do the trick. Bitly or whatever should work as well.
a memeber…now that is hilarious.
Thanks Hogeye, I’ll give it a shot. Granted the space is fallow, and tumbleweeds, however I do consider a signature of sorts.
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testing
testering
It worked!!! Thanks broham
The only reason I have trouble with the tinies is that I am not sure that I am not being led to goetsies, if you know what I mean, and i think you do.
🙂
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Nothing to do with being an abrasive dickhead who’s threatened & terrorized people on his shows over the years finally getting the hell beaten out of him by boycotts, then having his falling ratings worsened by his epic journey up his own bunghole via a not-very-veiled-at-all Messianic neurosis.
All. One. Fort.
…do consider *it* a signature of sorts…
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that several members of Congress had told him they had asked to see the gold our government supposedly has under ultra-tight security at Fort Knox, and were refused.
Of course we believe that it was simply a matter of there being no gold, or fascist Knoxian oppressor guards or anything like that. It had nothing to do with said members of Congress busily stripping and rubbing themselves down with lard in anticipation of rolling in the gold…
Larding up and rolling in the gold
Yeah, we don’t seem to bother with hiding that sort of thing ’round here (see Sub McG’s rollover text for his links), so I think it’ll be ok.
Wikipædia claims that the gold isn’t actually in Fort Knox. It’s in the US Bullion Depository, nearby the fort, in the bell tower, or something.
That story is rather thin soup.
OT, in honor of this day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchrotron_light_source
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchrotron_radiation
Everytime I hear the line from that horrible song. No honor. Rest in peace.
I cannot deal with this debt ceiling shit without my head nearly exploding.
That, and computer issues explain my absence. And if occasionally interacting with other people besides my cat constitutes a “life,” then a life, too, I guess.
Does GBTV stand for gay, bi transvestite?
Let this be a lesson learned. If you want to see the gold, try not asking while wearing a wetsuit or three.
I tried this thing called ‘a life’.
It just didn’t work for me.
~
I tried this thing called ‘a life’.
I am out of the house for the first time in quite a number of days at a BuckStars™ surrounded by any number of bi-pedal mammalian artifacts, having my first cuppa in a number of months…I am thinking about inquiring upon the status of my “Motherf**kin’ Iced Tea” as is the custom of my people.
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Wait, have the conservatives gone back to hating Greenspan now?
No, just spitting instead of swallowing. They got STUPID rich under his long long nap.
It just didn’t work for me.
prolly cuz you tried the islamofacistgayabortionliberal lifestyle…perhaps if you tried living like a true amurrkan, i.e. a teabagger or a conservative, or perhaps a combo, *life* as you know it would be drastically better!
if that doesn’t work, you should immediately check yourself into the bachmann big gay cure clinic asap…
prolly cuz you tried the islamofacistgayabortionliberal lifestyle…perhaps if you tried living like a true amurrkan, i.e. a teabagger or a conservative, or perhaps a combo, *life* as you know it would be drastically better!
“I used to feel awkward in social situations, but then Republicans gave me a tax cut and I haven’t had a touch in months! How have tax cuts helped YOU?”
(I think it’s someone here who posted that a while back).
Speaking of Alan Greenspan…
The kids are apparently NOT alright.
uh, unh!!!! amurrika is the best!!!111!! SUCK IT!
The degradation of our educational system, thanks to a lack of accountability and a general resistance to innovation, is well-documented.
No, it’s that the Xers’ music sucks.
waaaaay ot, but urgent nonetheless: i have had a the same freaking fly hovering in my office for three days now…
Plus, the Generation X movie sucked.
i have had a the same freaking fly hovering in my office for three days now…
Does it have a white head?
…help me…please help me…
“This is a reasonably good indication that the productivity of the younger part of our workforce is declining relative to the level of productivity achieved by the retiring baby boomers. This raises some major concerns about the productive skills of our future U.S. labor force.”
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Methinks he’s confusing “productivity” with “luck” and/or “not being completely fucked over.”
But don’t worry, Boomers. Those of us who are lucky enough to have a job will make sure to be productive enough to fund the cost of your Social Security and devote 12% of our monthly income to student loan debt while you berate us for not working hard enough to achieve what you did.
Generation X had some cool stuff
Like a guy named Billy Idol. If you try to flame me for liking Billy Idol, I will mail you a bomb.
Does it have a white head?
…help me…please help me…
gack! don’t remind me! no white head, but it’s big eyeballs keep staring at me…it is on my screen right now….
imma gonna smack that suckah…
Yeah, we’ll take a cut in benefits for which we paid more in real dollars so that you fuckers could skate by on trickle down economics until you retire. We’ll go ahead and clean up that mess for you.
And yes, please call us lazy and stupid. We like it when you do that, and we promise there won’t be any retribution* when you become helpless and ambulatory.
*Not necessarily intended to be factual…
I will mail you a bomb.
sending it off with a rebel yell, i hope…
There is, sadly, much truth in what he says.
With notably rare exceptions, of course. Then again someone who cites George Will for purposes other than debunking or mockery has issues.
Consider the “productivity” claim:
Yeah, teh Slacker Generation is all entitlement entitlement entitlement. Nevermind that they got to be the first generation kiss teh Job-for-Life good-bye, it’s teh Job-for-Life Boomers that are teh productive ones!!!ones1! Unless you actually look at teh statistics.
As for how dum teh kids are – Y KANT JHONY REDE?!?! Sure teh Boomers get their slacker kids to program their
VCRsPVRs* and set-up their Facebook accounts, but taht’s different. And about schoolins – well sure moar and moar kids are finishing high school and even college and what not nowadays but that’s fake lurnin’. They’re studying useless crap like Pop Culture whereas backintheday we lurned useful stuff like Latin.*Are you sure that thing ain’t a VCR? Sure looks like one. Trust me, I’m older and know better.
address, someone likes to take things literally. #2 is #2. My social insurance number, otherwise known as SIN # is 651 328 726. health is 920 228 704. There is employee numbers, student numbers, and etc. It was originally the uthethra, but I think they use anything with drainage, newest is the throat. Had asthma when I when I thought I was 9. and etc. Procedure last night, no transfusions.
hospitalization number 04456930
as reported on fox nation:
some of the mangos in the comments over at foxnation under an article about michelle obama ordering fast food:
And she has the audacity to tell us how to feed our kids. That’s one heck of a meal even for a hippo like her.
Do as I say, not as I do. Seems to run in the family.
She probably had her second “great moment” to be proud of her country.
Better on her frame than on mine. Who cares, I don’t. I just detest being such a hypocrite. America does not need more phony hypocrites, we have way too many as it is.
i eagerly await jeannie deangeilis’ hard-hitting post on this…
Unless you actually look at teh statistics.
Being a dumbass crank trumps facts any day, mister.
With notably rare exception, Reaganomics was a huge success.
Screw FAUX Nation, go with Wonkette.
Higher quality mangoes.
~
Liberal media.
OMFG. From teh incisive War Criminal Post article (posted under Politics and Policy nonetheless):
See, teh War Criminal Post is a lie-beral biased rag. Everyone knows that “people like Michelle”* are into two-fisted drinking!
*when I say “people like Michelle” it’s not RACIST. U R TEH REAL RACIST if you think it might be.
DOUBLE OMFG.
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
I think this is the first time I’ve seen a sole-sourced articel where said source is an anonymity granted FELLOW REPORTER AT THE SAME FUCKING NEWSPAPER AS YOU. Yeah, you’ll get back at anonymous War Criminal Post Journalist for stealing your parking spot. No shared by-line, not even a mention by name in teh article! Take that!
BREAKING: The presnit has CHOOT-SPA?
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/07/14/269208/yiddish-fail-bachmann-accuses-obama-of-having-choot-spa/
BREAKING: The presnit has CHOOT-SPA?
Oh. I got excited for a second–thinking maybe he finally snapped and let those cracker motherfucker Repigs have it.
Turns out it’s just Michelle being cutie pie Michelle, pronouncin’ stuff all wrong, you betcha.
This is a reasonably good indication that the productivity of the younger part of our workforce is declining relative to the level of productivity achieved by the retiring baby boomers.
No, I think it would be indicative of the seizure of all of the wealth created by the increased productivity of the American work force by the Galtian Overlords/MastersOfTheUniverse.
After all, fully employed Americans work longer hours for fewer benefits and less pay than previous generations.
They should just go ahead and give the dollar bill 14th Amendment protections allready.
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Seriously. Does teh War Criminal Post have any standards at all regarding granting sources anonymity? Because – what. the. fuck.
I can’t even begin to imagine how this works – someone sees teh offending order, makes note of it, tells someone else in teh newsroom on the condition of anonymity, who then writes it up. Seriously?
Did the witness journalist have a compelling reason to not be identified? Maybe they were supposed to be “away at a conference” and not “spying on their wife”. I’ll bet it was “spying on their wife”.
BREAKING.
by Dragon-King Wangchuck
An investigative reporter has come forward with a compelling story of how a certain Washington Post journalist has been spying on his wife while claiming to be out of town at a conference. This Washington Post journalist who is most definitely not George Will has good reason of suspecting his wife of infidelity and has gone to great lengths in order to get the proof.
The investigative reporter who provided this story on the condition of anonymity* also noted that the Washington Post journalist who is most definitely not George Will has been seen spending a lot of the time he was supposed to be out of town in the company of another Washington Post reporter who may or may not be Natalie Jennings, but we’ll call Natalie for simplicity’s sake. Speculation about the propriety of the arrangement was cast aside as it is obvious that Natalie is only being consulted for the incisive and perceptive observational talents** she has honed in her work with the Washington Post.
*OMFG, just that fragment of teh sentence spins my head.
**,,,talents. Hee hee.
Seriously. Does teh War Criminal Post have any standards at all regarding granting sources anonymity?
No. They have no standards at all with regards to anything.
P.S. I grew up in D.C., and it wasn’t because my dad wrote for the government. The decline under Donald Graham has been shocking (surpassing even the decline of the NYT under fellow worthless billionaire heir Pinch Sulzberger).
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Nuh-uh, youse all heard it wrnog. She said Hoot-Smalley.
Seriously. Does teh War Criminal Post have any standards at all regarding granting sources anonymity?
Nope!
It makes it that much easier to make shit up, out of whole cloth, to serve the interests of plutocracy.
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I was gonna say.
I love this one, showing just how productive the boomers were upon entering the workforce.
Also, too. Who the fuck does that greaseball think “Generation X” is, as we’re well into Gen Y’s appearance in the workforce.
Shorter Greenspan: Get off mah lawn!!!
I am glad that I had a few Jewish friends growing up, and didn’t grow up in a Waspy bubble like Bachmann.
.
Apparently their standards for what makes a story worthy of print are very high, however.
This is information I needed. See, now I feel like I’ve been green-lighted to let my kids live off of candy bars and Chicken McNuggets. They can also substitute Mountain Dew for water.
Also, also, too.
This is the guy whose Randian jerk off fantasies ass-augered the country into an economic hole we’re not likely to climb out of for half a generation or more?
Criticizing anyone on how they do their job?
Really?
thanks to a lack of accountability and a general resistance to innovation
Yeah, can’t have anything to do with funding cuts.
the first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger etc.
Jesus God, SO FUCKING DUMB. Look, assholes whining about “hypocrisy,” she never says people can’t ever eat crap, she says, OVER AND FUCKING OVER, like every fucking nutritionist and dietician on the fucking planet, that if you USUALLY eat a healthy diet you can get away with occasionally eating salty/sugary/fatty crap but you shouldn’t rely on salty/sugary/fatty crap for a large portion of your diet or you WILL be obese and unhealthy like the majority of lardass Americans moronic enough to think that’s hypocritical.
What do you expect from a shiksa?
Jesus God, SO FUCKING DUMB. Look, assholes whining about “hypocrisy,” she never says people can’t ever eat crap
my niece who is going into 8th grade moans over and over about michelle obama banning french fries from every school cafeteria FOREVER!!! also, the shake machine they had at school has been confiscated…
POOP-CHUTE-SPA is where you go for your bleach treatment
They can also substitute Mountain Dew for water.
Bring on the Brawndo!
POOP-CHUTE-SPA is where you go for your bleach treatment
Unless you’re Rick Perry, in which case you go to the Poop-Cavern-Spa.
have a cartoon bubble with three dudes in suits standing in the open door of a gigantic vault filled with golden treasure…just for fun, can we come up with some captions for that bubble?
“I just want to rub my body against it…”
Yeah, but what about a caption?
Yeah, but what about a caption?
indeed!
I will mail you a bomb.
What happen!!
tsam set us up the bomb!
What happen!!
tsam set us up the bomb!
Bush Doctrine Threat.
Nobody better make fun of me cuz I think Billy Idol is da bomb. Else I’ll mail their shit a bomb.
Turns out it’s just Michelle being cutie pie Michelle, pronouncin’ stuff all wrong, you betcha.
Probably didn’t want to sound too Jewish.
Turns out it’s just Michelle being cutie pie Michelle, pronouncin’ stuff all wrong, you betcha.
she also seems to be backsliding into her habit of dressing like a prom queen what with the short dresses and up-dos…i was really hoping we had seen the last of that…it’s so embarrassing…
pronouncin’ stuff all wrong, you betcha
like obama’s TRIllion dollar stimulus?
From the WaPoop link, one-term food splurge
I will not make any conjectures as to the mind of the writer in making that error.
I feel just a little dirty… just posted a concern troll comment at Hoft’s site regarding the Kenneth Gladney bullshit.
I am glad that I had a few Jewish friends growing up, and didn’t grow up in a Waspy bubble like Bachmann.
I grew up in a mostly Jewish neighborhood on lawn-guy-land. I think I was 8 before I figured out we weren’t Jewish.
I gots conclusive evididence that ain’t no one buried under Grant’s tomb, neither! This is total un-Constushal! 10th Amenmint!
I feel just a little dirty… just posted a concern troll comment at Hoft’s site regarding the Kenneth Gladney bullshit.
well, what did you say?
I grew up in a mostly Jewish neighborhood on lawn-guy-land. I think I was 8 before I figured out we weren’t Jewish.
Silly, silly, silly boy
You coulda been a shabbos goy.
well, what did you say?
My comment was, basically, “We’ve got to help Ken out, by sending him money so he can hire a top-flight lawyer.” I expect this response.
Although you have to give Crazy ‘Chellie this – she’s got some pretty EPIC Hoot-Smalley of her own. Apparently she’s saying that there’ll be no default – the Preznit just needs to prioritize spending. Hee hee! We’re 48 hours from being two full months past Geithner’s outside deadline. A date that was contingent on teh economy perfroming better than Treasury expected. I suspect it’s been closer to three months that Treasury has been juggling obligations – essentially transferring balance from one credit card to the next.
Anyways, aside from the fact that August’s Social Security cheques amount to moar than is in teh coffers – so even if Obama manages some magical “prioritizing spending”, seniors are still getting screwed. Uh, yeah, other than the fact that even if we ignore the fact that Bachmann’s brilliant advice won’t work – what she’s advocating is to default. That some of the Government’s obligations can be ignored. IOW, she is saying that the US Government should be acting in bad faith. Awesome!
My comment was, basically, “We’ve got to help Ken out, by sending him money so he can hire a top-flight lawyer.” I expect this response.
oh, ho! that was YOU!
Who the fuck does that greaseball think “Generation X” is, as we’re well into Gen Y’s appearance in the workforce.
“Generation X” is, to these yayhoos, any twentysomething slacker, regardless of birth year. This kind of intellectual laziness is the hallmark of the diligent, productive older generation people who bitch endlessly about how awful youngsters are.
Personally, I know a lot of millennials and they’re good folks. Every generation has its good and bad eggs but the young adults I know give me some hope.
Best Headline Evah!
Silly, silly, silly boy
You coulda been a shabbos goy.
Oh, man. My very Catholic roommate did that in college (all the religious groups shared the same building for chapel/synagogue/mosque/w-ever purposes) and used to bring back leftover challah on Friday evenings that was the best bread I’ve EVAR tasted bar none. (This is a snobby Frenchman talking).
Goes really well with Chavrie goat cheese too, it turns out.
re: are teh kids alright?
Who teh fuck cares. Srsly – like teh Boomers gave two shits what the Greatest Generation thought about them, or like anyone gives a shit about what Boomers think about anything.
Teh kids are teh kids.
So they don’t know the things we know and they don’t value the things we value and their so-called music sounds like noise and they won’t stay offa mah lawn. It was always thus. And yet here we are after countless iterations of “this generation will be the end of civilization as we know it”.
But they really do have to stay offa mah lawn.
Personally, I know a lot of millennials and they’re good folks. Every generation has its good and bad eggs but the young adults I know give me some hope.
Me too. The kids working in my office and my kids’ friends are some of the best-educated, hardest-working people I know. Slackers my ass.
Haaaaahahahaha–see Steerpike’s link:
this one’s my fave:
At least his relatives get the comfort of being reminded, “he died doing what he loved.”
Also, too…I’m about to head on a motorcycle trip over Lolo Pass. Suck it, other riders, I’m going and you’re not. Hah!
Tsam, I’mma be in Spokane on Monday night. If you want to get together for a beer or sumpin’, give me a shout at WhaleChowder (at) gmail.com.
Thanks to the rest of you for indulging my personal messaging…
Hmmm, maybe he’s got two souls? Two spirits?
GASP! Two-spirit! They fired him because he’s HOMERSECKSHOOALL!!!!
Cue the weeping Native Americans…
I think they call that “Pulling a Carradine”
Hmmm, maybe he’s got two souls? Two spirits?
The bad guy in the Harry Potter books split his soul into pieces through ritual murder. So there’s precedent.
breaking news:
mark dayton offers to accept republican’s offer w/conditions…local radio host says, ‘praise jeebus that dayton FINALLY came to his SENSES…’
yeah…all dayton’s fault…
Twentt-something? The older X-ers are pushing forty by now.
How’s the whole NewsCorp scandal being reported over there? Follow it on BBC, it’ll cheer you up. Murdoch tried to blow off a Parliamentary Select Committee, and they said ‘turn up or you’ll get brought here under arrest’. Suddenly he found some diary space.
they said ‘turn up or you’ll get brought here under arrest’. Suddenly he found some diary space.
that’s awesome…
The older X-ers are pushing forty by now.
Nearly fifty, by some reckonings. That’s the point – many lazy media types have no idea what “Gen X” means – there’s disagreement about when Gen X started, but it’s definitely not twentysomethings.
Murdoch tried to blow off a Parliamentary Select Committee, and they said ‘turn up or you’ll get brought here under arrest’.
Awesome. I don’t know how / whether it’s being reported here, I don’t bother with the news much. In no small part because of what that bastard has done to the whole industry.
Also, too…I’m about to head on a motorcycle trip over Lolo Pass.
I take it you mean the one in Youdaho, not the one near Mt. Hood. Great ride, one we are thinking of doing soon.
@ WC
This sucks–I’m leaving Sunday for CA–business trip. This would have been cool. You know, I do get to the West side once or twice a year, so let’s call this a raincheck.
I take it you mean the one in Youdaho
Indeed. That one. Can. Not. Wait.
This sucks–I’m leaving Sunday for CA–business trip.
Feck. Could you email any hotel recommendations? Or at least ones to avoid?
Thx.
Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43744222/ns/us_news-life/
OT: PENIS
Ahem…
Check mail, WC…
Mangoes! Get yer mangoes here.
Rick Perry pals around with this guy:
Bickle: The Harlot Babylon is preparing the nations to receive the Antichrist. The Harlot Babylon will be a religion of affirmation, toleration, no absolutes, a counterfeit justice movement. They will feed the poor, have humanitarian projects, inspire acts of compassion for all the wrong reasons. They won’t know it, beloved they will be sincere, many of them, but their sincerity will not in any way lessen the impact of their deception. The fact that they are sincere does not make their deception less damaging. I believe that one of the main pastors, as a forerunner to the Harlot movement, it’s not the Harlot movement yet, is Oprah. She is winsome, she is kind, she is reasonable, she is utterly deceived, utterly deceived. A classy woman, a cool woman, a charming woman, but has a spirit of deception and she is one of the clear pastors, forerunners to the Harlot movement.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rick-perry-partners-pastor-who-thinks-oprah-precursor-antichrist
Also,
“Libertas is also called the Freedom Goddess, Lady Freedom, the Goddess of Liberty. You know there’s a statue in New York harbor called the Statue of Liberty. You know where we got it from? French Free Masons. Listen folks that is an idol, a demonic idol, right there in New York harbor. People say, ‘well no it’s patriotic.’ What makes it patriotic? Why is it? It’s a statue of a false goddess, the Queen of Heaven. We don’t get liberty from a false goddess folks, we get our liberty from Jesus Christ and that Statue of Liberty in no way glorifies Jesus Christ. There is no connection whatsoever. So I’m just telling you we practice idolatry in America in ways that we don’t even recognize.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rick-perry-partners-apostle-who-thinks-statue-liberty-demonic-idol
Via http://nomoremister.blogspot.com/
Homosexuality was and is one of [Baal’s] big strongholds. Now we’re not against homosexuals, but we are against homosexuality because the Bible very—clearly God says ‘I hate it, don’t do it.’ By the way, homosexuality is a great way to control the population. Do you understand? I’m serious about this and I’ve seen this in lots of places, that the entity that we call the Illuminati which is really over, above Free Masonry, has stated it as their goal…to limit the world population to no more than 500 million. Do you realize that means getting rid of all of us? Because there’s between 6 and 7 billion people in the world today, and to get from 6 to 7 billion down to 500 million you gonna have to kill a lot of people off. What do you think the health care bill is? Oh yes, it’s a death culture. What about homosexuality, that’s a great way to limit the population. It’s not a great way it’s a perverted way, isn’t it.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rick-perry-partner-john-benefiel-claims-homosexuality-illuminati-conspiracy
Pro tip: Never have sex with a Sun Goddess/Demon.
I saved the most awesome for last:
There is a spirit called a Harlot, a principality, who dominates nations, who dominates territories, who dominates people groups very, very clearly to such an extent that she has fornication with kings. And I can give you an example of how she does this: Japan, as a nation, is one of the nation’s of the world which has consciously, openly invited national demonization.
The Sun Goddess visits him in person and has sexual intercourse with the Emperor. It’s a very, very powerful thing. So the Emperor becomes one flesh with the Sun Goddess and that’s an invitation for the Sun Goddess to continue to demonize the whole nation.
Since the night that the present emperor slept with the Sun Goddess, the stock market in Japan has gone down. It’s never come up since.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/company-rick-perry-keeps-peter-wagner-sex-demons
Since the night that the present emperor slept with the Sun Goddess, the stock market in Japan has gone down. It’s never come up since.
This is how I lost my keys. I never found them.
Everybody knows you mean ‘cheap consumer electronics’! You’re not fooling anybody with that “Sun Goddess” bullshit, bigot!
Homosexuality was and is one of [Baal’s] big strongholds.
I have watched Stargate SG-1 and Baal was definitely not gay. Heck, he was sleeping with Claudia Black in his last appearance.
She’s a magical, sparkling’ tease
She’s a rainbow choking’ the breeze
Yo, she’s busting’ out onto the scene
With nightmare bogus poetry
She’s a melted avocado on the shelf
She’s the science of herself
She’s spazzing out on a cosmic level
And she’s meditating with the devil
She’s cooking salad for breakfast
She’s got tofu the size of Texas
She’s a witness to her own glory
She’s a never-ending story
She’s a frolicking depression
She’s a self-inflicted obsession
She’s got a thousand lonely husbands
She’s playing’ footsie in another dimension
She’s a goddess milking her time
For all that it’s worth
…hmm…
Have you looked in the Sun Goddess?
The President of the United States is currently in a coma. You were already informed, those of you who have been making salicious statements on this website. Thank-you, and good day.
In trying times like these, we look to knuckles the dog.
For help and stuff.
~
Yo. Wassup?
The PU is in teh house!
. . .
wait, that didn’t come out right…
The fact is, Michele Bachmann is the only hope USA has for freedom left after the marxist praydations of the Ursurper. I like her pride for straight and white, the minorites have had too much sway, and they are like Hitler to
The PU never comes out right, does it?
The PU never comes out right, does it?
Fortunately the pharmaceutical industry is there to help out with that. Ah, the wonders of free-market health care!
South America, huh. So, how’s it going?
fixxiored
Knuckling the dog.
“It certainly will show who’s really serious about trying to get spending under control and who isn’t,” said Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, a leading sponsor of the Senate amendment, which is backed by all 47 Republican senators. “If that’s all it accomplishes, it will be a good thing.”
read more about the gop and orrin hatch who is a gigantic tool…
but we all knew that didn’t we…
Dick Chainsawmassacrey had shoots pah, IMO
chooting the pah
damn! that should actually be:
chootsing the pah…
or pahing the choots, as the case may be..
oh really? one of the best euphemisms of all time is going to kill the thread?
fine…consider this fucker stone cold, then!
Fuck me, “shoots-pah” is fucking funny.
Fuck me, “shoots-pah” is fucking funny.
i know, right? it was even funnier when jon stewart got her to say it to him…
Gotta share this with you Sadlies because I think you’ll appreciate it more than the BJers:
What am I up to?
I took my nephew who’s visiting me out to dinner at Chili’s (which is where he wanted to go). When we went in, I showed the hostess my e-cigarette, asked her if she was familiar with them and if it was ok to use it. She said it was fine, so, I was taking an occasional puff off it while waiting for the food to arrive. So, on the other side of the divider where our table is, one table down, there’s this huge fatass mountain of a woman, who’s very rudely staring at me. And clearly talking about me, as she says something to her fatass husband and he turns around and stares too. The waiter comes by to drop off our drinks and says, “oh, you’ve got one of those e-cigarettes.”
Next thing I know, here’s the manager at the table asking me to put it away, saying they’ve had a “complaint”. I say, “oh, that woman right there (pointing) who’s been rudely staring at me for the past 10 minutes? What’s her problem?” He says she’s complained about “the smell.”
Now, I don’t know if you’re familiar with e-cigs, but…there IS no smell, unless you’re 2 feet away or in a very small enclosed space like a car, and even then it’s very faint, and in my case, since the liquid in mine is spearmint, it smells like a stick of gum – when you can smell it, which a fatass bitch sitting 10 feet away in a large room certainly can not. Horribly offensive, right? I ask him, “what does she say it smells like?” He can’t answer. I said, “I’ll be glad to put it away, but just so you know…I DID ask the hostess when we were seated if it was OK and she said it was, this things does not HAVE a smell, and all it’s putting out is water vapor.” But I put it away. He leaves, I look over, and fatass bitch is STILL staring at me. So…very loudly, and without really even thinking about it, I say, “I’m OFFENDED because you’re FAT!” My nephew almost falls out of his seat laughing.
The waiter comes back by and apologizes, says she complained to him first, and he TOLD HER it was nothing but water vapor, and she STILL called the manager over and complained. Then he says, “that table has been a problem since they got here, sorry again.” So when he leaves, I start staring a hole through the fatass bitch; meanwhile I continue to push the button on the e-cig (but not puff on it) so she can see it lighting up. Within about a minute she says to her husband “she’s sitting over there STARING at me,” and I say aloud, and hope she’s reading lips, “goddamn right I’m staring at you, just like you’ve been doing to me since I got here.” She says to her husband, “I’m going to go on out.” And she gets up and leaves and (according to my nephew) stares daggers at the back of my head as she’s leaving.
A few minutes later fat hubby gets up to leave. I see him through the window, waddling out to the car. He gets in and apparently gets some tongue-lashing from her, because he gets back out, comes back inside, goes up to the hostess stand and starts a conversation in which he’s pointing over to our table (again, according to my nephew). I say to my nephew, “what, are they pitching a fit now because I was doing the same thing to her she’d been doing to me the whole time I’ve been here? What, they’re going to ask the manager to kick us out of the restaurant for looking at her now?”
Anyway, we ended up with a comp meal; I was nothing but sweetness and light to the manager and waiter. But I’m still kicking myself wishing I had gotten up, gone up to her table, and said, “look, if you’re so concerned about your health that you’re worried about inhaling a little WATER VAPOR, by all means stay away from hot beverages & etc, but most of all, if that’s your worry, stop digging your grave with your FORK you fatass busybody.” But then, we probably wouldn’t have gotten a free meal. As for the fatass twins, I think they paid full freight for their meal.
You know, I’m a reasonable person…sometimes anyway. But when someone is such a fucking bitch that they’re going make shit up just to try to fuck up someone else’s day for their pleasure…I’m glad I made her uncomfortable enough to hove her fatass out the door.
My nephew is still laughing about all of this, BTW. I’m a really bad influence.
Choots-pah…that’s the sound of a cat fart.
Hey, fuck mOrrin Hatch and his goddamn GOP shitposse with a fucking rusty jackhammer AND NO LUBE.
If the goddamn GOP keeps dragging its heels and allows the country to go into default over A FEW FUCKING BLOATED CEOS PAYING A PITTANCE MORE IN TAXES THAN THE PITIFUL PITTANCE THEY ALREADY GRUDGINGLY PAY and the Social Security checks don’t go out next month we’re in real danger of having our house foreclosed out from under us. The only bright spot is that the shit might be deep enough that GMAC would have bigger things to worry about than someone being a payment behind on their mortgage. But I sure as shit don’t want to risk that.
So, yeah, you fucking goddamn walking colostomy bags, go ahead and stonewall and whine about principles and let the fucking country burn and destroy people’s lives because you hate liberals so much. You might see those torches and pitchforks yet, and in LIVING COLOR CLOSE-UP. Fuckers.
.
Sweet holy fuck, there’s a spider the size of a Yugo on our ceiling.
Crisis over. Caught him in a cup and took him outside to hunt.
Not that I really am nervous about spiders, but I can’t help but think “brown recluse” in situations like this and “necrotic flesh” is a concept I want to have as little to do with as possible.
Great story Jennifer. Bet they were Limbaugh listeners.
PU
Your concern about the Recluse is shared. I lived 10 years in western Missouri, and those brown nasties were the source of my worst nightmares.
Likewise here, gocart. Aside from reading her postings these past months, I have no idea who Jennifer is, but I can’t help but like ‘er.
Wow, jennifer. I nail my ecig all over the place and have gotten nothing more than fascinated stares and an occasional interrogation about the effectiveness of it.
In fact, im standing in line to see harry potter right now, working the ecig.
PAYING A PITTANCE MORE IN TAXES THAN THE PITIFUL PITTANCE THEY ALREADY GRUDGINGLY PAY
That acted like a link but went nowhere. Did you want to point to this?
Or perhaps this?
ZRM is going to call you a hater.
Good story Jennifer. Happy ending too!
Perhaps I should try getting an e-cig. I’m pretty much past the physical withdrawal; but I still reach for the nonexistent pack. I want a ‘smoke’ with my coffee. And while I drive.
They sound sorta complicated. Are there disposables?
“necrotic flesh” is a concept I want to have as little to do with as possible.
Necrotic flesh: it’s not just a concept, it’s a tactile and smelly reality, as Rebekah Brooks has just been reminded.
Today’s study question: Is Rebekah Brooks simply David Brooks + better hair + balls? Discuss and show your work.
If you’re over the nicotine addiction, I’d have thought you wouldn’t want an e-cig so much as a biro.
Ohgod, I fell out of the boat and yes, there are crocodiles out there…
And Rebekah Brooks only knows necrotic flesh from tossing Murdoch’s salad.
The PU never comes out right, does it?
I recommend Konsyl powder for regularity and anal health
Tobacco sales. Are they ethical? Fair trade? Fair wages? What of Central and South America? What of the southern states? Who picks cotton these days? Who remembers when the duty-paid stickers appeared on the packs? Does that verify in everyone’s mind that the companies are ethical, that the black market doesn’t exist? I suppose that stickers could be applied by anyone. Not much of a solution is it? Why, its almost as though the governmental bodies involved wanted to pacify their citizens into believing the problem was solved.
It has come to my attention that there is provisions and loopholes in the North American Trade Agreement which allows for black market sales.
AHEM! AHEM, I SAY!
Anonymous said,
July 15, 2011 at 8:28
and
aravind said,
July 15, 2011 at 8:35
Or perhaps this?
here’s the linky
someone has to tell me how to link back to a comment, the way i did this was too much effing work…
The date on a comment is a link – copy that and it will direct people straight to that comment.
July 15, 2011 at 16:03
like that?
bbkf: The time stamp on each post is actually the link. Just right-click on it and hit whatever the Win-D’OH!s equivalent of “Copy Link Location” is. Then do the <a href voodoo.
oh…but do you have to do the <a href= thing?
thank you vrbok…
Well, this morning, I’m headed down the stairs of our deck to our rain barrel, bucket and watering can in hand, when I walked through the web of an orb weaver.
By the time I realized what had happened, the not-so-little fella was on my chest, staring up at me.
Not sure where it wound up, but those suckers sure do take to the air really well …
Day late and a dollar short, as usual.
C’mon, no one over here got hold of this yet?
http://www.salon.com/news/michele_bachmann/?story=%2Fpolitics%2Fwar_room%2F2011%2F07%2F14%2Fbachmann_yiddish_chutzpah
like so?
sweet! i learned a new skill today!!!
C’mon, no one over here got hold of this yet?
back track the thread…we mocked the hell out of it yesterday…
Day late and a dollar short, as usual.
actually, i needed more guidance than what n_b gave me…it’s so cute how he thinks i am smarter at computers than what i really am…
She thinks I’m cute! The prostheses, they work!
By the time I realized what had happened, the not-so-little fella was on my chest, staring up at me.
first off, i would poop a brick if that happened to me…a barn spider went down the back of my sweatshirt one night as i left the house (since it was raining, i thought at first that it was a raindrop) and if you recall the scene from ‘peewee’s big adventure’ where he saves the snakes from the pet shop…yeah, that collapse at the end was me…
i now apparently have a spider in my bedroom…i have about 80 gazillion spider bites…and that is not an exaggeration…i will be hoovering quite thoroughly this evening before bed…
The prostheses, they work!
hmmmm….detachable…how interesting…
Sure those are spider bites and not bed bugs?
Not even trying to be shitty — just seems an odd for that many spider bites to have occurred, since they usually only focus on stuff they can eat. (Which I’ve learned thanks to our 6-year-old, who is addicted to Monster Bug Wars on the Science Channel.)
Detaching the prosthesis …
Sure those are spider bites and not bed bugs?
ewww…but yeah i’m sure…it happened a couple of summers ago, too…now you know how long it has been since i’ve vacuumed under our bed…
and okay, it’s more like a dozen bites, but they are maddening! at least they bite you in the same area a multiple of times, so at least they aren’t scattered EVERYwhere…
even talking about them make me itchy…
at least they bite you in the same area a multiple of times
Maybe they’re trying to dig a tunnel.
Sorry to hear that, bbkf. I’d have the willies and probably be sleeping on the couch by now!
(And I totes get how infrequently the underside of beds get vacuumed, as The Mrs just did a full house cleaning last weekend (other than the bathrooms and kitchen, which are my responsibility) and filled up not one, but two canisters just from under our bed.
Just … yuck. Yuckity yuck yuck yuck.)
Maybe they’re trying to dig a tunnel.
they’re doing it wrong!
(other than the bathrooms and kitchen, which are my responsibility)
hmmmm…i like this division of duties…me wonders if i could get teh hubby on board…but then again, he has to blow and shovel snow all winter long and sweat his ass off mowing the yard, so maybe i’ll just leave well enough alone…
mowing the yard
more of the dumz from chele ‘choots-pa’ bachmann
they say a bad deal is better than than no deal
money quote:
The market weighed the value of Beck, now it’s weighing the value of Palin:
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/07/sarah-palin-movie-debuts-to-empty-theater-in-orange-county/241983/
now it’s weighing the value of Palin:
palin sure has a lot of choots-pah to think opening her film on the same day as harry potter would work out well for her…
palin sure has a lot of choots-pah to think opening her film on the same day as harry potter would work out well for her…
If I thought she thought, I’d say that she was counting on sold-out-theater overflow to bring her inadvertent viewers, but I don’t so I won’t.
If I thought she thought, I’d say that she was counting on sold-out-theater overflow to bring her inadvertent viewers, but I don’t so I won’t.
tou-fucking-che…i should have realized that ‘palin’ and ‘think’ do not belong in the same paragraph, let alone sentence…
Have you looked in
the Sun GoddessRick Perry’s giant opening?When you gaze into
the goatseRick Perry’s giant opening it gazes into you.FYI: Bacon jelly beans are even more disgusting than you can imagine.
When you gaze into
the goatseRick Perry’s giant opening it gazes into youGood Lord! He’s already there looking back: Rick Perry *is* the Quartzite Hunchback!
FYI: Bacon jelly beans are even more disgusting than you can imagine.
Do you really want to set that up as a challenge, given who posts here?
On a related topic, does anyone know if there are bacon anal beads?
Gee, thanks Republicans!
I wonder how much their tantrums are going to cost us this time.
Also, teh comments are awesome.
Okay, just one.
Also, teh comments are awesome.
chee whiss, fellas! (as my eighth grade shop class instructor) used to exclaim…that is some high-grade piss they are spurting over there in their cyber piss contest…
S& p and Moddy
yes, these two ratings institutions indeed show much choots-pah…especially ‘moddy’…
How is moddy formed?
The Harlot Babylon will be a religion of affirmation, toleration, no absolutes, a counterfeit justice movement.
OMG that sounds AWFUL! Not like the old timey hellfire, hate and real injustice movement from the REAL churches!
They will feed the poor, have humanitarian projects, inspire acts of compassion for all the wrong reasons.
What, to get some imaginary reward or avoid some imaginary punishment instead of just because it’s right and good? No, wait, that’s YOU guys.
the Bible very—clearly God says ‘I hate it, don’t do it.’
Yeah? What verse are you quoting? And tell me again about folks who are sincere in their deceiving of others.
Since the night that the present emperor slept with the Sun Goddess, the stock market in Japan has gone down. It’s never come up since.
This is how I lost my keys. I never found them.
Yes sure, but I’ve never had such a great tan!
<i.On a related topic, does anyone know if there are bacon anal beads?
well, if there isn’t, i thank you for that million dollar idea! it would go so well each year when denny’s celebrates baconnalia…
Also, teh comments are awesome.
They are the comment equivalent of the movie I watched last night.
You guys are just as much the problem as obama-reid and smuck schumer the LIARS of the USABY
Given the Yiddish-fail here, I’d bet money that this was Michele Bachmann.
The Harlot Babylon will be a religion of affirmation, toleration, no absolutes, a counterfeit justice movement.
OMG that sounds AWFUL! Not like the old timey hellfire, hate and real injustice movement from the REAL churches!
Yeah, it’s always somewhat ironic when fundies whine that their opponents are intolerant.
Yeah, it’s always somewhat ironic when fundies whine that their opponents are intolerant.
Cry Hard 2, Cry Harder
Holy crap! My company handed those out at a meeting yesterday and I had to try one.
They’re like sweet liquid smoke with no real “bacon” flavor; just mesquitish.
And the most disgusting things I’ve ever put into my mouth.* Even though I never swallowed the damn things (I’m apparently a spitter*) I could still taste the damn thing last night.
The only use I can see for them is as a form of torture at Gitmo–kinda like giving them bacon, but without the violations of religious rules.
*NSVBJR
When you gaze into the goatse Rick Perry’s giant opening it gazes into you.
We’re through the looking glass, people.
.
I bring you a mango from The Hill
ROUGH TRADE. Nuff sed.
And the most disgusting things I’ve ever put into my mouth.* Even though I never swallowed the damn things (I’m apparently a spitter*) I could still taste the damn thing last night.
I almost vomited. I’m not exaggerating. I had to eat, like, five Altoids to get the taste out. And then I had to go wash my hands because I could still smell it on my fingers.
*shudder*
I almost vomited. I’m not exaggerating. I had to eat, like, five Altoids to get the taste out. And then I had to go wash my hands because I could still smell it on my fingers.
while i adore bacon, this testimonial, along with markd’s is enough to assure that i will never be tempted to try one…
but this is not to say that i will not purchase some to pass on to other unsuspecting bacon lovers…
If anything could make anybody hate bacon, that shit would.
Fenwick leaves snark at The Hill !
I’m proud of myself, because I almost NEVER leave comments at reichwing sites. (Last time was at GayPutz during the Blogress vote.)
I followed Hogeye’s link at 19:02, intrigued by mango he brought to S,N. (And the mangoes ARE indeed rancid.) I actually left a two-sentence comment there. I forgot to copy it for y’all, but here it is, from memory…
It’s awaiting moderation. I hoping my comment is obscure enough that it will slip through.
FYI: Bacon jelly beans are even more disgusting than you can imagine.
Buttered popcorn ones are pretty repulsive too. I still can’t believe they’re among Jelly Belly’s top sellers.
“‘Scuse mah beak!”
See? Some good from reading Tolkien intently! The Wold is the northeastern part of Rohan. Knew I had a snarky joke at hand.
How did this thread get from Glenn Beck to jellybeans?
Some rollercoaster, this one!
What rolloercoaster? Glenn Beck to Jellybrains is a straight line.
The path from GB to vile things no one wants in their mouths is, in fact, a geodesic.
FY Steerpuke.
Hey now…
ZRM and N_B:
I find LEED FSC certification and COC requirements at the vendor level (ie–invoicing materials that a vendor such as myself ordered and drop shipped to a project site) to be BULLSHIT.
Your opinions?
It’s getting catty up in here.
Your opinions?
I find MILSPECs more exiciting.
Drop shipping.
Your opinions?
foie gras is wonderful.
Buttsecks too. Also.
Mitch McConnell is a total sub to Chao’s dom.
I have never read a HarryPotter book nor seen the movies so I shall refrain from expressing an ill-informed opinion.
I shall refrain from expressing an ill-informed opinion.
Mmf. Typical libral gay libral.
I would eat a billion popcorn Jelly Bellies before I would eat one bacon jelly bean EVAR AGAIN.
Drop shipping.
Sounds more like POOPing.
I’m slow on the uptake today. I finally figured out Pup’s joke, based on the word ‘straight’.
Steerpike & tsam: I don’t think Pup’s ‘FY’ is serious.
(I could be wrong, tho; I’ve gotten one from him…)
Also great to hear from you on S,N, Steerpike! I’ve always liked you comments.
Foie gras jellybeans?
Hmmm. You’re right T&U. I was trying to riff off ‘drop’. Sounds sorta of like ‘droop’. Misfire. (I suppose I should stay away from euphemisms….)
Man’s best friend:
I find MILSPECs more exiciting.
Don’t get me started on ANSI/BHMA. You will hate me before the day is over.
Steerpike & tsam: I don’t think Pup’s ‘FY’ is serious.
I didn’t think it was. Rule 1 at a snark site: Don’t talk abou…NO WAIT, all snark is snark. For being offended, I recommend DKos. Lots of righteous indignation up in that joint.
They were all LIEberal dogs. Socialists, too: I’ll bet they shared the corpses.
Sounds more like POOPing.
It’s EXACTLY like POOPing only vastly different.
it’s OK TSAM. I built a bridge and got over it
To clarify, it was a FY of exasperation at not being first. The typo was in fact a typo, blamed on the teeny weeny* iPhone “keyboard.”
*oh autocorrect, what the fuck is a “seenu” and why would you not think “weeny” is what I intended?
You will hate me before the day is over.
Never.. Even though I’m a boomer–and cuffed around plenty much in yer comments–I haz many lulz from yer commentz!
For being offended, I recommend DKos. Lots of righteous indignation up in that joint.
Our recon teams check out Kos every now and again to brush up on Democratic theology. They don’t stay long, however; fear of Leprosy.
New thread.
even more disgusting than you can imagine
Ironic coming immediately after:
When you gaze into
the goatseRick Perry’s giant opening it gazes into you.The Sun Goddess visits him in person and has sexual intercourse with the Emperor. It’s a very, very powerful thing. So the Emperor becomes one flesh with the Sun Goddess and that’s an invitation for the Sun Goddess to continue to demonize the whole nation.
I’ve thought for quite a while that “real life” has become a bad dystopian science fiction story, but now it sounds like a hentai anime, too.