There Will Be Blood Libel
Posted on January 12th, 2011 by D. Aristophanes
Shorter Sarah Palin, Facebook
America’s Enduring Strength
- Fellow citizens, it has been a Tragic Week. But even as we mourn the terrible loss of life in Arizona we must also reject the reprehensible accusations, as false as the scurrilous lies that one imagines might be told if somebody made up a story about a Julia Louis-Dreyfus Affair or another Hollywood scandal of some sort, coming from so many Lamestream Media pundits whose mindless finger-pointing has appeared on so many recent op-ed pages in their Black Hundreds. Those who claim political rhetoric is to blame for the despicable act of this deranged criminal want us all to go along with their pogrom of muzzling dissent with shrill cries of imagined insults. Shoah nuff, it’s just like I was saying the other day when I walked up to the office of my friend Bill Kristall, knacht on his door and confessed to him in no uncertain terms that I really am at my Auschwitz‘ end when it comes to the slanders that the media sends my way daily and that it’s totally just like the Holocaust.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
PS a song for Sarah:
Zy! klon you B, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming, etc
Loughner certainly has caused Mrs. Palin a lot of heartache. Perhaps he should apologize to her.
A guy coughed on my sandwich at Subway today. It was like getting a smallpox blanket, but worse.
This whole unfortunate situation is like Sarah own personal Trail of Tears, only worse.
The flu shots my local pharmacy is offering this winter are just like the Tuskegee syphilis experiment but if Josef Mengele was conducting it.
Well parodied.
A guy coughed on my sandwich at Subway today. It was like getting a smallpox blanket, but worse.
God, that happened to me the other day, but I got oppressed even worse, cause the guy was black. It was horrible! And they want reparations for slavery! Oh God on high, haven’t we suffered enough?
Chris said,
January 12, 2011 at 23:29
=
sarcasm, just in case some conservative comes along and goes “Aha, liberals are the real racists!” – or worse, agrees.
Sure, she wrote that shit…wonder who did?
We had to evacuate the building the other day. It was JUST LIKE the Bataan Death March!
There were some really awesome ones on Twitter, btw. I did kinda recycle my own up there…
When people use the word ‘retard’ it’s like the Transatlantic slave trade plus the Holocaust times the Killing Fields.
New blood test: Sarah+ or Sarah-?
When people use the word ‘retard’ it’s like the Transatlantic slave trade plus the Holocaust times the Killing Fields.
AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE!!!
*faints
Good for John Dingell.
Sure, she wrote that shit…wonder who did?
Your expressing doubt that she wrote that is like when Hitler dipped the Roman Christians in wax and burned them, crucified them, then threw them to the lions.
Like I know!!!……I told Kristol myself that this whole episode has become such a pain in my Anschluss.
a Julia Louis-Dreyfus Affair
With Jack Yuze.
THIS WEBSITE IS CLEARLY SLANTED!
Ustascha lotta meaning in that piece, D.
DAMMIT TIGRIS!
This is just like when they dropped napalm on that naked dude!
With Jack Yuze
Sorry, I’m a little Esterhazy as to your reference, tig
Ach, heiliger Scheisse.
Sarah Palin’s staff continues to stand with her
This is just like the Reichs-close-tag Fire!
T&U, in blaming me for tontocal’s lack of a close tag you’ve crashed hijacked planes into my heart.
I didn’t start the Reichs-close-tag Fire, it was always burning…
~
Yo, Sarah- you gonna those matzohs?
um
Almost closed my tags
Happened just awhile back
Could’ve refrained from posting wrong
But I’m the victim of a blood libel attack
T&U, in blaming me for tontocal’s lack of a close tag you’ve crashed hijacked planes into my heart.
I know, I’m like Leni Riefenstahl.
D, you have to go into the actual script of the FYWP to fix it. Just like the Japanese did in the Rape of Nanking.
Too soon?
sumbuddy close teh dam taggz!
got fixded!
and, another round of right-wing hoekstrionics! we so lucky.
Man, fixing that tag was like being enslaved by the Egyptians, only Pharoah has a twin brother named Hitler!
more Americans getting somewhat better health care is worse than anything Mengele did!
When the dude at Taco Bell asked “Soft or crunchy?”, it was just like the Spanish Inquisition!
When my paycheck was a day late it was just like when the Emperor was all, ‘Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!’
Boy, am I a putz!
Once more, from the top…
‘Yo, Sarah- you gonna eat those matzohs?’
????????? ????? ?????? ?????????? ??????? ???? ??????.
FYWP. That hebrew showed up fine in preview.
When the elevator got stuck in between floors for a couple of minutes that one time, it was totally like the Man in the Iron Mask, only worse!
Whenever I have a decision to make in daily like, I look at my HWTESP* wristband to help me make the right choice. If only we all had one, and did that, what a better wold it will be.
*How Will This Effect Sarah Palin
When the elevator got stuck in between floors for a couple of minutes that one time, it was totally like the Man in the Iron Mask, only worse!
OMG, dude! I can totally sympathize! One time my fingers got caught in one of those Chinese finger traps and it was like being in an iron maiden!
זיינתי את אמא שלך.
You want the unicode.
http://www.mikezilla.com/exp0012.html
When the dude at Taco Bell asked “Soft or crunchy?”, it was just like the Spanish Inquisition!
Well, except that this time, you’d expected it.
When my mom made me get those smelly old clothes down from the attic that one time, it was totally the Diary of Ann Frank all over again!
But somE democrat somewhere once compared Bush to HITLER so STFU.
When the cat scratched me the other day, it was totally like I had been literally inserted into the hellscape of Art Spiegelman’s ‘Maus’!
This is craptastic. I spent a long time catching up the previous thread. Put up a few posts, hen realized I was alone again. How about giving a brother a break? Someone slip in a post when a new thread has opened up?
*sigh”
Okay, back to the top and work through this one…
WordPress not showing your Hebrew is like being sacrificed to Molech.
It snowed the other day and I haven’t cleaned it off my car and now I’m out of food and need to get groceries. I know exactly how those people in the Donner Party felt.
It’s absolutely ridiculous for anyone to think that hateful rhetoric is to blame for violent behavior. And anyone who dares to blame Sarah for it is gonna be sorry later when someone gets hurt.
a little Esterhazy
Tiny Toby?
It smells weird in here. Like a gas chamber.
Shoah nuff
I LOyL’d.
I missed a close tag??…sorry…friggin’ exhausted….been workin’ my fingers to the bone, but oh well, Arbeit macht frei after all
Boehner’s distancing himself from Palin is just like the night of the long knives.
Wait
Trust the shorter. The video is seven minutes of your life better spent doing just about anything else.
When the dude at Taco Bell asked “Soft or crunchy?”, it was just like the Spanish Inquisition!
Piling onto Sarah is zactly like bloodthirsty Assyrian oppression. If it was led by Tamarlane. And also with zombies ‘n shit.
BTW, FYWP.
(sigh)
We can always depend on the Sadly, No! crew to knock it outta the park.
Well done.
As long as they remember that when they’re talking about broadcast stuff and not print stuff, it’s blood slander.
Smatter? Did DKW’s mom tell you that she has a headache?
Thanks, Dhalgren! Haven’t stepped out of the boat in five days, but my resolve was weakening.
Did she wink a lot?
There’s ice on the roads hear in Atlanta. I hope I never hear this bullshit about how brave Scott was with his little “Antarctica” trip. He only died once there.
Man, you go to one meeting and you’re 60 posts behind. Now I totally know how Custer felt.
You not following instructions is a lot like turning away boats full of Jewish refugees before WWII.
When the eye doctor was all, ‘better? better? first one? second one?’ the other day it was totally like the Spanish Inquisition combined with Pol Pot smashing in my face with a rifle butt for wearing glasses
When my cat licked my face, it was just like Daniel being fed to the lions.
Luxury. We used to dream of getting smashed in the face with a rifle butt. Back then, every night Dad ‘use cannon, and first he shot us, and then drew it with horse and run us over again and again until there was nothing left.
When I ran out of toilet paper on the can the other day it was totally like being Bobby Sands on hunger strike in The Maze.
Christ….just made din-dins for Blanche and me and the ‘taters spilled over again…..it was like the Irish Potato Famine all over again!
Tech inept. Takes me awhile.
תודה על הקישור. אה, ולא הקברן עושה עבודה נפלאה על שלה?
When my little nephew threw his Hot Wheel at my leg it was totally just like being run over by tanks in Tiananmen Square!
Anybody have a good cocktail recipe? Because right now I really don’t feel like staying Sobibor.
Yeah?….when I was a wee lad, we used to have to lick the road ’til it was clean
(º⍹º)
Aww, look. Subby made us a cute lil’ guy!
When Ms. Quitter winked at me, it was totes Gloucester in King Lear.
When I walked through the door and everyone yelled “surprise” it was just like the Greeks had delivered a Trojan horse.
…Trust the shorter…
Done.
Reading D. Aristophanes is totally like being trepanned and I’m happier for it.
I found a hole in my sock. It was like being kidnapped on a spaceship that looked like a DC-3 and forced to watch “Queen for a Day” over and over, then thrown into a volcano and having an H-bomb dropped on me!
I can’t say this in the UK. They have tougher blood libel laws there.
It’s a PIG, which is totally like, um, Jesus totally killing that pig by stuffing it fulla demons!
When the shower ran out of hot water it was just like the Titanic sinking into the North Atlantic.
I was once trapped in place on the Disneyworld “It’s a Small World After All” animatronic musical ride for about an hour, without anyone shutting it off and without being permitted to leave. I was a kid, too, so little chance of breaking & running. I can’t think of anything horrible enough to compare it to.
Know just how you feel Jen…just froze my bullocks off shoveling the driveway….now I know exactly how Ernie Shackleton must have felt!
My commuter train was delayed twenty three minutes. Now I know how Bradley Manning must feel.
My insomnia is just like being tortured in Gitmo.
I just helped shovel out almost 5 feet of crusty snow plow berm from the end of my driveway, which gives me some sympathy for the tribulation of Meghan McArdle having to wait in line for a new iPhone.
It’s a PIG
Ah. I thought you were going for mr. goatse. (ɜOƐ)
DAMMIT TONTOCAL. Having my thunder stolen is like being tentacle raped to death by Cthulhu.
Jebus WC, you know he’s going to animate that.
Our local municpal services shovels our sidewalks and clears the plowed snow berms in front of our driveways. BUT they don’t clear the driveways themselves! I mean, the equipment is all right there, but they just move on to the next house. Outrageous! Way worse than when the Olbion County Fire Department let that guys house burn down with his dogs and cats in it.
“Yeah?….when I was a wee lad, we used to have to lick the road ’til it was clean.”
Wow, we would dream of being able just to lick the road clean. In my house, Dad used to hold us by the feet and slam us down against the concrete over and over just to loosen up the dirt, and then he’d spit on it and wipe it up with our faces. He was tough, but he was fair.
94 comments. WTF? I need to start checking the front page.
OT; one of my favorite bloggers is finally back from hiatus, and posts a balanced, rational analysis of the whole Giffords situation.
Making an off topic comment praising a blogger that isn’t me is anti-semitic even if I’m not jewish. You are worse than a thousand Hitlers.
A reasonable adult would say, “Hey, if I don’t want to be associated with political assassinations, then I should not want to use language and imagery that suggests that I do.” It’s really that simple. Another adult response would be to say to oneself that if I want to say whatever I want, however I want and use the the First Amendment as justification, then I shouldn’t whine about the language anyone uses to criticize what I say.
Not being informed of the new thread was like getting slapped in the face with Sub’s dad’s dick.
You are worse than a thousand Hitlers.
OMG not the dreaded KILOHITLER!
Truly moving post. Reading it was like watching a dance contest at the KC Hyatt Regency.
And 9/11.
Rolled into one.
On pallid Palin, Jonah say But I think that the use of this particular term in this context isn’t ideal.
Not ideal?!?! Shallow, no brain, brown nosing.
The movie “Avatar got you so steamed that you had to put your head into the popcorn bucket and sing “Someones in the Kitchen with Dinah” to save yourself from the Greeny message.
Fucking fuckity fuck
A reasonable adult would say
I think I see the problem here.
“Truly moving post. Reading it was like watching a dance contest at the KC Hyatt Regency.
And 9/11.
Rolled into one.”
I watch this movie. Hell, I would MAKE it. And I would play Osama Bin Laden’s comely American niece.
OT, but the Redstaters are popping wood for their latest Alan Keyes candidate.
Shorter comments: we enthusiastically support a candidate with no political experience for president because then nobody can call us racist ever again .
wiley must be on the marijuana.
I think I see the problem here.
I am being oppressed by Tig’s tootootoo fast fingers. Remedies must be sought.
“I watch this movie”
Would. iPad.
Would. iPad.
Having to type on an iPad is worse than having a mutiny on your ship and being set afloat in an open boat on the Pacific ocean.
Seeking a remedy against my fingers makes you worse than a 500 ft tall robo-Hitler who shoots rabid zombie weasels from his eyes.
The air conditioning in my car went out last summer when I was a couple of blocks from home. It was just like being in the Black Hole of Calcutta. Or maybe the bombing of Dresden. Or Hiroshima. Whichever one was the worst.
“Would. iPad.
Having to type on an iPad is worse than having a mutiny on your ship and being set afloat in an open boat on the Pacific ocean.”
Totes. It’s like some horrible pirate made my fingers walk the plank.*
*VMR?
Having to feed my children dinner just now when I wanted to comment on this thread was just like being in ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ combined with ‘Lord of the Flies,’ plus tomorrow is garbage day, so yes, I will soon be stuck in the Death Star trash compactor from Star Wars.
it was like watching a dance contest at the KC Hyatt Regency.
Tea dance, not dance contest. [/structural-engineering-disaster pedant.]
Killing a thread is worse than having your grandma get brutally beaten by The Crips. And The Bloods.
Also, having to warm up my coffee in the microwave this morning was just like being Karen Silkwood.
You know who else was 500 feet tall and shot rabid zombie weasels out of his eyes?
Huh?
Oh.
Never mind.
You know who else was 500 feet tall and shot rabid zombie weasels out of his eyes?
My 3rd grade teacher?
I had to wait in line to buy an iPhone, so I know just how people in refugee camps feel. Only worse.
Drat, I see tigris can AHEM me.
WOOHOO!
Wondering if Bristol is reconsidering that property in Maricopa. Either as an investment or a residence.
wiley wishes she were on the marijuana. sigh.
This quote is full of win.
Jewish Funds for Justice:
“Unless someone has been accusing Ms. Palin of killing Christian babies and making matzoh from their blood, her use of the term is totally out-of-line.”
“My 3rd grade teacher?”
Really funneh, N_B. May I fetch you an expensive micro-brew ale?
Also, Erick Erickson is still is still a dick.
http://www.dailykos.com/
In yesterday’s “moment of silence” he wanted prayer or reflection. Here’s the problem — when conservatives push for school prayer and advocate for a “National Day of Prayer,” they include “or reflection” to get around namby-pamby atheist objectors.
But the left uses it too. The left uses it to accommodate atheists.
President Obama’s statement stands out because it is just another verbal telling that he’s ideologically of the left. He already has problems with a public perception of him and his faith. That things like this keep coming up suggests the general public is right in their skepticism of the sincerity of his faith.
“Unless someone has been accusing Ms. Palin of killing Christian babies and making matzoh from their blood, her use of the term is totally out-of-line.”
You know what else is eye-bleedingly obvious?*
A 500-foot tall robotic Hitler would have been really helpful in shoveling the fucking snow in the driveway.
*No comment here on you, GM, but the fact that some Jewish organization actually has to call this as it is. I mean, it’s fucking obvious, you know?
JFforJ .Excellent!
aliculistas also
Kicking ASSsoftly- patting- the -buttocks- to -check- for -POOP, on this topic.The movie “Avatar got you so steamed that you had to put your head into the popcorn bucket and sing “Someones in the Kitchen with Dinah” to save yourself from the Greeny message.
To be fair to Jonah, having to listen to him sing is as bad as sitting through a Ke$ha concert.
But with fatter b00bs
A 500-foot tall robotic Hitler would have been really helpful in shoveling the fucking snow in the driveway.
You’d think that, but you just end up having to shovel out the piles of rabid zombie weasels in addition to the crusty snow.
Why is tigris still allowed to comment? The damage to monitors worldwide must total in the billions. Not to mention all the wasted whiskey.
I’m sorry, but you are all guilty of some very serious hyperbole. For example, I would never say what happened to me yesterday was as bad as the Mongol invasion of Eastern Europe that resulted in the rape, slaughter, and destruction of millions of human beings. Because I’d say less than 170,000 people were raped or slaughtered, and I don’t think these guys were Mongols. Unless suddenly Genghis Khan has his people wearing tracksuits. Although in addition, my car won’t start on the first try. So it’s getting close to that bad.
I had to step UP to the curb which was worse than going over the top from the trenches in WW I.
Maybe it’s the illegal drugs talking, but has the hunchback gotten sexier?
Reading a Jonah column is worse than being nailed to a cross.
Too soon?
Maybe it’s the illegal drugs talking, but has the hunchback gotten sexier?
Your anti-patina bias is sickening. I expected better from you and not the ignorant attitudes more commonly associated with Toby Keith concert-coers.
You know who else accused Jews of killing Christian babies and making matzoh out of their blood?
Wait…
That’s not patina. I forgot to floss.
FOUND IT! This should have gone into the last thread but better late than never.
By the way, got to the fucking thread kind of late and all you bastards have taken the funny extermination camp names. This is worse than the Triangle Shirtwaist fire.
Incidentally, my comment about tigris being allowed to comment? Not hyperbole. That was fucking funneh.
Ein was für wundervoller Pfosten!
I’ frohes m fangen Sie verrückte Liberale schließlich an, zu verstehen, welche Art der lebenden Hölle ich seit Samstag durchgemacht habe. Möglicherweise muss ich an das Klagen der Netze für Blutbeleidigung denken? Sowieso mach weiter so! AMERIKA NR. EINE!
(Wink)
“Pupienus Maximus said,
January 13, 2011 at 2:53
I had to step UP to the curb which was worse than going over the top from the trenches in WW I.”
Maybe if you were a little lighter in the loafers it wouldn’t have been so traumatic.
Un-possible.
Sweet IPU, between the atheist PENIS below and this new Mount St. Helens link – you, Pup Max, are as bad as tigris.
You’ll be hearing from my lawyers regarding a busted gut.
“Un-possible.”
Seen him on his motorcycle?
You know why German cannibals don’t eat Jews?
Because they give them gas!
Keep laughing, I’m reloading.
That kind of talk is worse than comparing me to Lindsey Graham. Wait, it IS comparing me to LG. Never mind.
Always posting late in threads is exactly like being dragged to death behind a truck.
Thanks. I just remembered that my resolution had been to stop altering my nym based on whatever comment or topic I thought was funny.
Oh sure, DK does a tour group of oversize mothers on his LCD monitor and all the sudden it’s MY FAULT when it asplodes? You, sir, are worse than alternate universe GOATEED Vlad Tepes.
Perish the thought, Pup! We wuv woo. Lindsay “Shut the closet door” Graham notsomuch.
It could totally be Pup’s fault though, I’ll give you that.
Jim, what the fuck. There’s nothing funny about being dragged behind a truck. That’s worse than lynching. Wait.
But back to the original topic. I would totally have an affair with Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
That mountainous breast from the great NW was ALMOST as big and beautiful as vs’s
leftright one.Lindsay Graham is so closeted if you made love to him in his bottom he’d claim he was just learning to POOP in reverse.
We are so going to hell.
And it will be worse than being macheted to death by our neighbors.
“you made love to him in his bottom”
Somebody slap Spengler on the back! He’s stuck in a Victorian erotica loop!
Dear Editors of the Pearl,
I never conceived that I should have occasion to send an epistle to your newsletter, but lo! such an occasion has arisen. And ‘arisen’ is the word. I was in America, you see, enjoying the grand tour, a circuit of which cannot be said complete until one has visited Washington in the District of Columbia, and especially the
orificeoffice of Senator Lindsay Graham. Suffice it to say…Quel Frommage
Somebody slap Spengler on the back! He’s stuck in a Victorian erotica loop!
No! Leave him. Victorian erotica is not a bad place to get stuck. Plus, he may bring zombies with him, and how cool would that be?
“Plus, he may bring zombies with him, and how cool would that be?”
The zombies can stay. Lindsay Graham gots ta GO.
It didn’t reproduce like Subtance posted it. See 0:54. I’m feeling the whimsey today. (<==another freebie) Quel inventive.
Victorian zombie erotica?
Victorian zombie erotica only comes in fragments.
It’s like Steampunk, only it’s not steam, it’s corpse gas.
“Victorian zombie erotica?”
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Cock
Teh Wiki sez both.
Teh Wiki is like having the militias come to your house with machetes asking if you want long sleeve or short sleeve.
Laugh it up Sadlies, but each and every one of yous would be allupons for Victorian Zombie Erotica.
ROOSTER
“…My little cousin was a spoiled girl, because she had been left too long in the sun…”
May I fetch you an expensive micro-brew ale?
How about forty years of pointless Freudian analysis, which would be worse than having Dr. Mengele as your proctologist.
When I stubbed my toe in the dark, it was like the Bataan Death March. Into the Black Hole of Calcutta. Where I was crucified between two thieves.
The Godzilla VS MegaHitler movie didn’t get a big enough budget, so it was only released straight to DVD. Don’t bother, because the MegaHitler suit actually looks more like John Bolton with Rush Limbaugh’s physique, but with a skin that looked like Rush Limbaugh had rolled in a bunch of poison oak. Looked less scary than Bolton anyway.
Victorian Zombie Erotica.
Sekksyness starring undead 19th-C dudes and dudettes, or
Sekksyness starring the undead written for 19th-C dudesters, or
The Pearl special edition for shambler consumption, or
Bestest klezmer band name EVER?
“How about forty years of pointless Freudian analysis, which would be worse than having Dr. Mengele as your proctologist.”
All right.
*hurriedly cancels order for beer wench costume*
N__B said,
January 13, 2011 at 3:38
Yes.
A reasonable adult would say… Another adult response would be to say …
And your point is?
Yes.
I loathe you with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, which is worse than the indigestion I got the one time I ate at Chipotle.
re: The Pearl
Quelle Frottage!
Quel Frommage
((Two awards in one thread is unheard of.))
Quel Frommage
((Three is bordering on absurd.))
When I wondered WTF Victorian Zombie Erotica would be like it was worse than when that singularity went off in the backyard. Mum was not best pleased!
“Who let that universe in here!”
Cripes, no choccy biscuits for us that day which in itself was worse than famine in the Sudan
Rooster Cogburn: Why, by God, girl, that’s a surveyor’s transit! You’re no bigger than a corn nubbin, what’re you doing with all those optics?
Mattie Ross: It belonged to my father, he carried it bravely in the war, and I intend to look through its sights at Tom Chaney with it if the law fails to do so.
AK, your mum sounds like she needs to get laid. I know someone who “takes care” of such things…
You rang?
I will make her world turn in ways the laws of physics normally disallow.
I was standing in line, waiting to get my coffee, when some lie-beral started talking about how we all need to get healthcare and jobs, and it was just like that time when Sitting Bull slaughtered all those poor 7th US Cavalry Guys (Plus Custer) in the deathcamps. And then forced themselves down ouar throats. Pushing big government socialeisms. USA!
VS, the real question is, how are them dirty pillows?
You talk real big, DKW…but talk is cheap. Like your mom.
I need proof of your prowess.
”
VS, the real question is, how are them dirty pillows?”
Engorged and tender.
Somebody get me a towel and some ice, I’ve had an accident.
Oh, and some olives. I’m out. Still good with the gin.
I need proof of your prowess.
As I have told you before, your wish is my command.
Quel Frommage
((Being entirely too stoned, and laughing his fool head off at every other post, Whiplash has temporarily closed the QF vault. We must preserve the dignity and rare honor of the award. Also not giving one to George Tenet or L. Paul Bremer.))
Sheela na gig, Spengler. We’re exhibitionists.
Vagina Dentata was my stage name. I miss those days.
“As I have told you before, your wish is my command.”
ORLY? well, you can start by pushing my b–oh crap! The zombies are here!
oh crap! The zombies are here!
HOT.
Keeerist Almighty!! I make one little comment and the entire thread gets hijacked by vs’s boobs! I demand photos!!!
For the archives.
We’re way past boobs. We’re well into hot Victorian zombie group action.
Also, DKW is going to do me and my mom.
Not at the same time cuz that would be AWKWARD.
DKW is going to do me and my mom.
That man speaks with forkëd PENIS.
Living on this planet w/ the humanoids is
exactlyworse than hell.“That man speaks with forkëd PENIS.”
My god, is there anything that man CAN’T do?
Whoa! I thought you said DKW was going to do you with his mom. That would be awkward, even without the zombie attendants.
As Being entirely stoned and laughing his fool head off at every other post, we regret to announce that the QF vault has bee
“Whoa! I thought you said DKW was going to do you with his mom. That would be awkward, even without the zombie attendants.”
Tell me about it.
But, yeah, zombies like to watch. Perverts.
I would do anything for love (of mothers)
But I won’t Douthat.
DKW’s into body modification? That’s hardcore.
Not at the same time cuz that would be AWKWARD.
Miss Manners’ Guide to Etiquette is strangely silent on the subject.
body modification? That’s hardcore.
A minor rearrangement and we’ve got uranium in his uranus and Colin Powell will be denouncing him on streetcorners.
Prev thread,
stackozone said,
“Hmmm… Civil discourse… Bullies never back down because you point out the fallacies of their arguments. You confront them face to face, and don’t back down. AND humiliate them.”
From “Manhattan”:
Woody Allen: “Has anybody read that Nazis are gonna march in New Jersey? Ya know? I read it in the newspaper. We should go down there, get some guys together, ya know, get some bricks and baseball bats, and really explain things to ’em.”
Victor Truro: “There was this devastating satirical piece on that on the op-ed page of the Times – devastating.”
Allen: “Whoa, whoa. A satirical piece in the Times is one thing, but bricks and baseball bats really gets right to the point of it.”
Helen Hanft: “Oh, but really biting satire is always better than physical force.”
Allen: “No, physical force is always better with Nazis.”
a 500 ft tall robo-Hitler who shoots rabid zombie weasels from his eyes.
do you have a link to that movie?
Great, the last thing I need is the US Army conducting an invasion in my anus. Although, that could be pretty hawt. Uh, totes heterosexually speaking of course.
That man speaks with forkëd PENIS.
Kiss him right and he spits out of both sides of his mouth!
Test. FYWP !!!
“smut clyde said,
January 13, 2011 at 4:29
Not at the same time cuz that would be AWKWARD.
Miss Manners’ Guide to Etiquette is strangely silent on the subject.”
Lol! I laughed.
Oddly Hallmark doesn’t make a “Sorry I fucked you and your mom at the same time” card.
“That man speaks with forkëd PENIS.”
Let the record show that I am neither scanning the appropriate image from the Re/Search book, nor searching the Interlattice for a copy.
I would never fuck a woman and her mother at the same time. That’s incest. Same goes for twins. They just gotta wait their turns, but if they want to bring some non blood-libel related friends,,,
Although vs, let me remind you again that your wish is my command, so if you have any weird issues with your mom, I am totes willing to make exceptions to any of my rules.
the entire thread gets hijacked by vs’s boobs! I demand photos!!!
HTH.
Oddly Hallmark doesn’t make a “Sorry I fucked you and your mom at the same time” card.
Oh sure they did, it featured the crabby old Shoebox lady.
Though admittedly looking ever so slightly less crabby.
You are such a romantic, DKW.
You what wouldnmake me super-happy? If you switched “your wish is my command” to “as you wish”.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Cock
How the hell did you discover the title of my first book?
Very stoned and laughing my fool head off at every other post. To preserve the High Distinction of the award, the QF vault has been closed until the next thread. This thread is so goddam funny, I would hand them out like aspirin.
Shit, I would give one to George Tenet and Paul Bremer in this frame of mind.
Is there an S,N! Hall of Fame? If so, this whole damn thread must be enshrined.
I’m hot, but I’m not Cary Elwes hot.
“How the hell did you discover the title of my first book?”
When you shambled over and gave me an autographed copy.
SRSLY, totes heterosexual but Cary Elwes? Rawrr!
Another test. Double FYWP !!!! !!!! !!!!
Sorry get all maudlin and romantic on everyone’s ass, but the first few minutes of that movie are soooo romantic. Even with no zombies.
Great, the last thing I need is the US Army conducting an invasion in my anus.
Substance has a gif that might help you practice.
But, yeah, zombies like to watch. Perverts.
I thought that was a prerequisite around here.
A Shortening:
Mother Of All Buttplugs.
“I thought that was a prerequisite around here”
It is!! I meant “pervert” as a COMPLIMENT. “Zombie” too.
Mother Of All Buttplugs.
WHY MUST YOU CONTINUALLY REFER TO JONAH GOLDBERG?!?!?!?!
“You what wouldnmake me super-happy? If you switched “your wish is my command” to “as you wish”.”
Btw…only way to answer this request is with “As you wish”
or his mother. I blame the Tea Party. And my lack of alcohol.
Some lanky dude made a speech that was worse than the Permian extinction.
” And my lack of alcohol.”
We must remedy this.
“Some lanky dude made a speech that was worse than the Permian extinction.”
Lulz.
Btw…only way to answer this request is with “As you wish”
Yes Mistress.
As you wish.
or his mother
Ugh. Luciannne. My weakness against Pantload is that I will never do his mom.
[Stares awkwardly long at young Mattie Ross, touches brim of hat]
Ay-dee-ose.
[Rides into sunset]
“Yes Mistress.
As you wish.”
I just tried to type in “mmmmmmmm” and iPhone auto-corrected it to “kimono”
FY, iPhone. That was yummy.
Lucianne? Lucianne? She is the type of woman who could put me off the pleasures of the flesh for all eternity.
Can’t get through. I’m forced into lurker mode. Quintuple FYWP.
It’s like Steampunk, only it’s not steam, it’s corpse gas.
My square nym is attached to the Wikipedia entry for Steampunk, and I’m damn un-humble about it too!
We must remedy this.
I will set up a Paypal link so you may all contribute to the Zombie Alcohol Resupply Fund.
ZARF.
#14. How did you manage to write about Victorian themed literature without going in depth (heh) about erotica?
Snidely, I’ve found that if you copy and paste your post WP will just barf it back up. You have to change the wording for it to go thru.
ZARF is bettar than Zombie Inebriation Monetary Assistance.
I stood up and prepared to take possession of the seat of love—when, alas! a sudden shriek from Annie, her clothes dropped, all my arrangements were upset in a moment; one of the hideous shambling undead had unexpectedly appeared on the opposite side of the gate, and frightened my love by the sudden application of his cold, damp nose to her forehead. It is too much to contemplate that scene even now.
“zarf” sounds like it should be one of those fight words in comic books.
Bam! Pow! Zarf!
Also let me say this:
I know all y’all have teh Googles at your fingahs – and I appreciate the lack of hyperlinks regarding bifurcated PENIS. Thank you Sadlynaughts.
DKW, shouldnt you be busy writing some Victorian erotica about me?
And maybe my mom and zombies?
“zarf” sounds like it should be one of those fight words in comic books.
ZARF is the sound made when one had too many ZIMAS.
MIRTH
bifurcated PENIS. Thank you Sadlynaughts.
Yeah, it’s only a matter of time until Smut posts a woodcut. And Substance animates it.
And adds drag-and-drop crabs.
Do they still make Zima?
PENISx2
I like Spengler cuz he knows funny when he sees it. Also…zombies.
I like Spengler cuz without him I’d have to live in a hamper*
*VBelialR
it’s only a matter of time until Smut posts a woodcut.
Ahem.
Does “B Negative” count as blood libel?
Speaking of which, VS, here’s a shoppe for all your art props. Plus, official hedgewitches, the dildos of the true pagan:
http://www.witchcraftshoppe.co.uk/Hedgewitch.htm
Do they still make Zima?
Zima is excreted, not made.
Does “B Negative” count as blood libel?
B negative, asshole.
Zima=Slurm
huh. I didn’t know willows could GET wood.
“http://www.witchcraftshoppe.co.uk/Hedgewitch.htm”
Now I know where I’m registering for the baby shower!!
Hedgewitches get too fat, they’re hedgehogs. Amirite or what?
Nobody else here? Well, anyway… I chuckled.
Smut Clyde said,
January 13, 2011 at 5:23 (kill)
it’s only a matter of time until Smut posts a woodcut.
Ahem.
The strain must be nearly killing you.
I am looking towards the twenty-first amendment remedies and saying my goodness, what can I do about the growing sobriety problem in this nation?
Patton Oswalt on twitter: “Took video down. Sorry for offending Jews. My camp is concentrating on better one. Final solution soon. #palin”
Happily distracted by listening to Wire as homework for Saturday’s concert. Did you know they have a song called “Mekon Headman” on their “Object 47” album?
Smut Clyde said,
January 13, 2011 at 5:10
*snerk*
And that’s why I love Patton.
And since I don’t see any Victorian erotica starring moi, I shall bid you all adieu.
The to-do list is just getting too long. Calgon take me away!
And since I don’t see any Victorian erotica starring moi,
“
DaviniaVacuumslayer; or the Romance ofMesmerismPhotoshop”.Look for the bloody libel
when you are buying that meme, dreck or slant.
Remember somewhere our nation’s stewing,
our rages aiming to starve the kids, and feed the rant.
We work hard to keep complaining,
Thanks to the T.E.A. we’re paying our way!
So always look for the bloody libel,
it says we’re able to fake it in the USA!
If I might be so bold and NOT BLOGWHORE. I believe that Smut Clyde has exceeded his quota for penises on the intertuba. Of course, none of these are bifurcated and that is worse than the volcanic eruption of the island of Krakatoa.
monopenises don’t count, AK.
OK, they count up to one.
And then roll over and go to sleep.
Man, trying to catch up on these threads is giving me a pounding headache, even worse than the pounding on aluminum walls and nailed-shut fire doors by workers trying to flee flames and smoke in the Hamlet chicken plant disaster.
Waiting for Sarah Palin to come out and say something about this tragedy is worse than that time I had to wait outside the stadium in Cincinnatti one winter to see The Who, and they started playing inside, and we pushed and pushed and pushed to get in the doors, but they just wouldn’t let us in! It seemed like forever before they let us through the turnstiles at that other door and let us in to see the concert later!
Time to dial up the rhetoric
Even more sweet mangoes there, if your definition of sweet mangoes includes raging paranoia & the most two-faced hypocrisy & outright lying.
The author: Paul Hair serves in the U.S. Army Reserves as a non-commissioned officer; he is veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He has worked as a civilian in both the government and private sectors. His views are his own and he in no way represents the Army Reserves or any other part of the U.S. government.
It was a sweet day when Ann Coulter was marched off to the slammer.
I don’t recall anyone — at least not anyone prominent — among liberals and Democrats suggesting that Loughner was a conservative.
You don’t have to be a conservative to be stirred up by years of hate speech that your government is illegitimate and crushing all our freedom and killing all the jobs and is led by some illegitimate non-American America-hating Muslim loving Stalin-Hitler.
Lucianne is the type of woman who would make me eat my own flesh.
I can see it now.
No such thing will happen now. But many years hence, some right wing leaders will criminalize their opposition, and Glenn Beck or some Becktard successor will trace this unfortunate but necessary decision directly back to Obama, who, apparently, put such a process in motion by insisting on being a Democrat.
Now, now, let’s not let them get ahead of themselves. Jimmy Carter is still alive and responsible for more and more Marxist treachery…
I don’t know about all that but I do know that I got caught in traffic on the way home and it was worse than being in the D-Day invasion force.
Michelle Malkin is now calling what Sarah Palin is facing a “lynching” which would make Sarah Palin America’s first African-American V.P. candidate.
Making history one outrage at a time.
worse than being in the D-Day invasion force
Still not as bad as being in the defending force.
Also:
Anyone seen Wangchuck lately?
‘Toronto Police said that the plow thief was dressed in Victorian clothing, had his face painted to look like a zombie, and had a bifurcated penis.’
actually they didn’t.
http://i56.tinypic.com/15p63om.png
Michelle Malkin is now calling what Sarah Palin is facing a “lynching” which would make Sarah Palin America’s first African-American V.P. candidate.
Malkin is way behind the curve here; lynchings are passé. It was my understanding that the last time a non-white person was lynched was Clarence Thomas.
It was my understanding that the last time a non-white person was lynched was Clarence Thomas.
You’re forgetting Barry Bonds.
Having Lucianne Goldberg and sex mentioned in the same thread is worse than “Bob” cashing my $30 check for ordainment and then leaving me stuck here when the space aliens come to burn down the planet on July 5!
Shorter Paul Mirengoff:
Listening to that injun was just like what Custer suffered at Little Big Horn.
I am totes willing to make exceptions to any of my rules.
you have rules?
Anyone seen Wangchuck lately?
I am refraining from commenting on this incident out of respect for the slain police officer. He was killed in the line of duty and died a particularly unpleasant death. Until the SIU report whitewashing the arrest comes out, it suffices to say that this incident has done nothing to reduce the amount of contempt I have for my local police force.
If anyone wants OT facepalming material, PJM has an article about the things in our current society that threaten democracy.
Good mostly because of the combination of so many potential insights with PJM’s legendary obliviousness to the implications of the points they’re making. Gold medal goes to “if self-restraint does not exist, external restraint must be imposed to assure domestic tranquility.”
Somehow, no connection is ever made between the lack of “self-restraint” and the free-for-all economics of the post-1980 years, or with the “mediating structure” – unions – that’s been in disarray ever since the Reagan years.
DKW, shouldnt you be busy writing some Victorian erotica about me?
And maybe my mom and zombies?
Your wish is my commandAs you wish.She had never known the fear she was now feeling, caught in the clutches of the shambling horrors – fear not only for herself, but her mother and unborn child. Three generations trapped in the cold clutches of these once-human monstrosities.
The awful stench of rotting flesh filled the air making breathing difficult, indeed she could hear her mother gagging across the room. The sound made her look away from her undead assailant and at mother – prepared to see the worst. But what she saw caught her completely off guard and shocked her to her core. It was then that she noticed the protuberance straining below the zombie’s waist coat. She had heard stories of the visibly inflamed passions men sentenced to the gallows and now presented before her was proof of the stiffness that set in after death.
What’s-his-name on Fox News said much the same about Carlos Gonzalez’ opening invocation at the Memorial. Not quite as dumb as Mirengoff, though. This:
It was apparently was some sort of Yaqui Indian tribal thing, with lots of references to “the creator” but no mention of God. Several of the victims were, as I understand it, quite religious in that quaint Christian kind of way (none, to my knowledge, was a Yaqui). They (and their families) likely would have appreciated a prayer more closely aligned with their religious beliefs.
Maybe, who knows – I’m not a mind reader. But most Anglos I know (Christian or not-so-much) in Tucson and other parts of the Southwest are well aware of the Native culture (Navajo, Apache, Hopi, Yacqui, etc) that is near to them on some of the biggest reservations in the country. And they tend to value it, quaint as it may seem to dipshits like Mirengoff.
Rofl! This why I wuv the Dragon King.
I think you missed your calling. You should have been a writer. I mean, all your posts are kind of mini works of art. I can tell they’re always crafted with care.
Also too, more me, less zombies and mommies.
“proof of the stiffness that set in after death.”
Rigor hard-on?
I think you missed your calling.
Certainly not. Mothers everywhere all grateful for my dedication.
And thank you.
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
January 13, 2011 at 6:03
Ooooooh, nice.
The first critical point is that this is the latest example of a string of incidents over the past two years or so where someone who committed national-level violence (and who can more closely be identified with the left than the right) was said to be a conservative—or influenced by conservatives
Jesus God, people can put it writing they were influenced by Fox News and Glenn Beck but that only identifies them even more closely with the left.
The second critical point follows on the heels of the first. If the response to Loughner’s bloodbath is the kind of two-minute hate that the left drums up against the right when a leftist goes on a murderous rampage, what is going to happen once someone who truly can be identified with the right actually does do something violent that captures national attention?
The first excerpt shows exactly what will happen: people on the; left will decry the level of vitriol in politics, which will be worse than dropping a 50 megaHitler bomb on an orphan kittenarium, and the right will claim that the guy IS OH SO OBVIOUSLY A LEFTIST.
This conversation cannot continue until you all agree that Hitler was a liberal.
And they tend to value it, quaint as it may seem to dipshits like Mirengoff.
Who, by the way, is, like his co-blogger Scott Johnson, an anti-multiculturalist. Obviously there’s the whole Muslim and Mexican immigrant hating thing. One of Mirengoff’s favorite topics of ridicule is the “leftist” teaching of non-white male writers in college courses, for example. They’ve both written posts that endorsed the superiority of Christmas over other holidays. But both are Jewish; one wonders why they think they’d be spared if their cultural politics were fully realized.
As a follower of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, I’m on pretty shaky ground when criticizing others for their negative views on religion – but calling someone’s invocation of their religious beliefs “ugly”?
Was it done in order to deprive others of their human rights or their status as human beings deserving of dignity? Was it done for the purpose of supporting unjust military exercises? Did Carlos Gonzales use his beliefs as a cudgel against people who disagree with him?
Honestly I don’t know – I didn’t watch the memorial and know nothing of what happened at it. But I’ve got a suspicion that is a lot more sound than Mirengoff’s paranoid fear of the Mexican Invasion.
The first critical point is that this is the latest example of a string of incidents over the past two years or so where someone who committed national-level violence (and who can more closely be identified with the left than the right) was said to be a conservative—or influenced by conservatives
I’d say it’s the very first such incident over the past two years where there’s an actual legitimate doubt as to whether this person is conservative (he’s probably not) or influenced by conservatives (he probably was).
Did Carlos Gonzales use his beliefs as a cudgel against people who disagree with him?
Honestly I don’t know – I didn’t watch the memorial and know nothing of what happened at it.
I didn’t watch it either, but Mirengoff’s main objection seems to be that Gonzales mentioned that “his family came to Arizona [from Mexico] in the mid 19th century.” Look at the timing again; perhaps it would be more accurate to say Arizona came to his family.
But both are Jewish; one wonders why they think they’d be spared if their cultural politics were fully realized.
I’ll say this for Jewish Americans, as many “intellectuals” as you can find on the right who belong to that demographic, the majority of the Jewish community has remained firmly liberal and firmly pro-civil rights, even though it’s probably as well integrated as any minority. I wish I could say the same for Catholic Americans, a huge part of whom have comfortably settled down in “I got mine, so fuck the rest of you” territory.
I’m sorry, I’m lost. Was someone critiquing Hernandez’ performance at last night’s event? Cuz I saw it.
I wasn’t criticizing Jews as a group, Chris, just Mirengoff and Johnson for being so un-self- and un-historically-aware.
Was someone critiquing Hernandez’ performance at last night’s event?
A Powerline goon called it “ugly” and inappropriate in its un-Christian-ness.
Oh Nm….the other guy. He was awesome. His remarks were really seemed to touch and cheer the crowd. I dug him. People are prolly bitter because he seemed to introduce a little native American spirituality to the proceedings.
Well I did watch the entire ceremony. I listened carefully to what Obama said, with an ear toward “What will the right find to criticize about this?” I have gotten pretty good at this over the last two years. And you know what? I came up empty. There was absolutely nothing in Obama’s speech that they could bitch about. So, naturally, they had to find something else…..
I wasn’t criticizing Jews as a group, Chris, just Mirengoff and Johnson for being so un-self- and un-historically-aware.
Oh, I know you weren’t.
I was just spinning off of that to say that I appreciate the fact that their ideology hasn’t really taken hold among Jewish Americans – and, having been born and raised Catholic, I wish I could say the same about my community.
There was absolutely nothing in Obama’s speech that they could bitch about.
He was politicizing a death. It was just a photo-op. He wasn’t Christian enough in his eulogy. The blood is on his hands for being responsible for the hatred that might have caused this to happen to poor Sarah Palin instead…
So, naturally, they had to find something else…..
Judging by reader comments at ASW, “they” didn’t like the speech.
Presumably ASW’s editors, when they started a comments sections, realized it was gonna be Breitbart/Malkin with marginally better literacy.
This conversation cannot continue until you all agree that Hitler was a liberal.
well, he certainly wasn’t a zombie.
As a follower of the Invisible Pink Unicorn,
if it’s invisible, how do you know it’s pink?
Alt-snark: Which One’s Pink?
Re: Mirengoff’s post, what a douche.
“Other good spots: Daniel Hernandez, the intern who helped save Rep. Giffords life, gave a brief and impressive talk in which he insisted that he was not a hero.”
Nope. He’s just a liberal spic faggot who wants to destroy America, fuck our children, and take our jobs.
Fuck off, asshole. Nobody’s impressed.
Oh, and I haven’t delved the psychotoobs deeply today, but I saw some references to how this was worse than Wellstone’s memorial service.
if it’s invisible, how do you know it’s pink?
We know the IPU, blessed be her unseeable garishness, is pink because we have faith that she is. We also know that she is invisible because we can not see her. This is logical proof of her existence.
“well, he certainly wasn’t a zombie.”
He wasn’t an architect either. Big fail all around.
well, he certainly wasn’t a zombie.
Is now.
well, he certainly wasn’t a zombie.
Is now.
yeah, not so much. Not moving, you see.
realized it was gonna be Breitbart/Malkin with marginally better literacy.
so true
this was worse than Wellstone’s memorial service.
T-shirts! T-shirts!
But was it worse than Coretta Scott-King’s?
yeah, not so much. Not moving, you see.
He’s just pining for the fjords.
But was it worse than Coretta Scott-King’s?
Yes. Not only did it have black people, it also had Mexicans.
To all you custer referrers: AHEM
It might be bigoted of me, but she always seemed to me to be the sort to start a traditional blood-libel….
I’m very late to this party, but I have to say this even though probaly no one will read it.
Would. iPad.
Hair. lipPad.
I see what u did ther.
“if self-restraint does not exist, external restraint must be imposed to assure domestic tranquility.”
Fascism or theocracy? Inquiring minds expect details.
“well, [Hitler] certainly wasn’t a zombie.”
He wasn’t an architect either. Big fail all around.
An architect wannabee. Mind you, you could say the same of Speer.
Hair. lipPad.
I even get the joke reference.
>>“if self-restraint does not exist, external restraint
>>must be imposed to assure domestic tranquility.”
>Fascism or theocracy? Inquiring minds expect details.
I was assuming ‘leather’, though he might have meant ‘big red straps’.
I concede that the combination of the gimp suit and the ball-gag certainly assures domestic tranquility here at Maison d’Etre.
You terrible, terrible people! Don’t you know that every time you slag Sarah Palin, an angel’s wings fall off? They’ll be falling out of heaven like ducks at the business end of her shotgun. Shame on you.
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