Why am I finding it so hard to stay in the boat? It’s just so mind-bogglingly stupid I can believe it.

A ban on martial language would rule out many quotations from historical figures.

Those historical figures just won’t stop saying things back there in history. PIPE DOWN.

Oh sure…I finally make a funneh and you go and start a new thread.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Is there a point to this, other than the one on his head?

Hokay, that’s almost unbelievable. I must exeunt the vessel to see for myself.

Barack rhymes with Attack, therefore toning down violent rhetoric means that Obama must resign. QED. Besides he’s Kenyan. Adress that post, libs. Badoodle.

ATTS™

John J. Pitney Jr. is the Roy P. Crocker professor of American politics at Claremont McKenna College.

Nuclear facepalm.

Is Pitney winning his, ahem, war on bedwetting?

Jesus Christ, another one.

The problem is not martial language. The problem is the discussion of martial solutions, mentioned as actual policy options. That’s what “eliminationist rhetoric” means, you weaseling fucks.

When Sharron Angle says with a straight face that she hopes Second Amendment remedies won’t become necessary because we’ll “cure” Reid with ballots instead, that is a clear discussion of political violence as a real world solution for a current political situation – e.g. the fact that Harry Reid is in office. That’s the difference between that and a metaphor like “they pull a knife, you pull a gun.”

Whether Sister Sarah has any such blatant incitements in her past, I can’t recall at the moment… but Sharron Angle clearly does. And she isn’t the only one; list of such statements have been circulating all weekend.

BTW, PupMax, nice F1 video. Pretty impressive, especially if you count seconds to the second apex up the hill. Even more impressive since the cars are exiting the slowest corner (the hairpin) just before they come into shot.

/F1 fanboi

They would not go that fast on Blizzaks.

What’s all this about marital options?

I thought the NRO said there was only one…
~

I, for one, would love to see an end to political types declaring war on damn near everything. War on Poverty, War on Terrorism, War on Drugs, War on Christmas, War on Obesity, and so on. Fuck, we’re not even that good at it anymore, despite what George Carlin said (christamighty) two decades ago. We haven’t won a decent war on anything, metaphorical or literal, in I don’t know how long. We should change the paradigm, pick something we’re actually good at and use that as our metaphor for dealing with social ills without actually physically doing anything.

Therefore, I declare a “Sitting Around On Our Fat Asses, Bitching About Football on Poverty”. We’ll have that shit licked in no time.

Claremont McKenna College

As one of the nation’s most selective private liberal arts colleges

Does Pitney know this?!

We should change the paradigm, pick something we’re actually good

Give the rich MOAR freedoms!

And she isn’t the only one; list of such statements have been circulating all weekend.

Here ’tis. Look upon ye works, ye mighty, and despair. However, don’t claim that speakers of violent rhetoric are somehow responsible for violent actions, no no. You might make some jackass with a disturbingly well-stocked arsenal and a grudge against those smarty-pants liberals uncomfortable. You’ll have nobody to blame but yourself.

I read it. It was stoopid. I’m quite sure I’m dumber now.

Here ’tis.

Matt, this was an isolated incident. Among many isolated incidents. Wait a second..

It is one thing to plead for more civil political rhetoric, which of course would be good. It is quite another to say that we should

Pitneys hearing voices again. This time of a first grade teacher.

So Pits believes that politics is, by nature, violent. Nice.

Because there’s no way Johnson could have re-worded his “War on Poverty” to something like “A Promise to America” or “Quest for Prosperity.” Nope; too hard.

Is this what Sharon Angle was talking about?

Seriously, who buys a shirt like that AND wears it?

Craps, if T&U is dumber now then that makes me…….um, what was my point?

What’s all this about marital options?

I thought the NRO said there was only one…

No, there are THREE: missionary, nothing, and STOP THAT OR YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

Matt, this was an isolated incident. Among many isolated incidents. Wait a second..

No kidding. We’re up to our elbows in “one lone nuts”. Good thing they don’t organize into a political movement or hold any sort of power in the national media, ain’t it?

Writing sophistry is harder than it looks I guess.

Was it Heinlein who wrote “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent?”

Matt, this was an isolated incident. Among many isolated incidents. Wait a second.

Rachel Maddow did a bit on this at the start of her show last night. You could tell she was getting madder and madder the more she got into it.

Nope, Asimov. Oops.

Asimov, actually. Heinlein was too busy writing Gary Stu stories about doing his mom.

Good thing they don’t organize into a political movement

Teh lulz are strong with you, Matt T.

Teh lulz are strong with you, Matt T.

Migrane-inducing rage will do to a fellow, I suppose. The very first response over the shootings I heard came from my libertarian, anti-government co-worker who said, and I quote, “Giffords was against immigrants. It was probably a Mexican who shot her.”

I wonder if this how Lewis Black feels all the time.

You could tell she was getting madder and madder the more she got into it.

Did you get her a ladder?

Stipulating his egregiously stupid argument, I would gladly trade LBJ’s metaphor for his package of reforms vastly increasing the amount of help the federal government gives to the downtrodden (while keeping the actual package of reforms), in exchange for right wingers not routinely calling for violence against their political adversaries.

In fact, the first part of this is what actually happened as almost no one discusses LBJ’s domestic policy as the “war on poverty” but rather “the Great Society” which means the whole war thing was easily dispensed with.

C’mon you loony libs! You should all know by now that comparing apples to oranges is as (real)American as honeybell pie.

And as Nixon and all Republican presidents since LBJ have taken the War On Poverty and instead made it a War on the Poor, I’m even more in favour of ditching the war metaphor.

Stupid National Review toadie: You have yourself a deal.

Rachel Maddow did a bit on this

I got in an arugment with my 65-year-old Old Man about this. I showed him that list and he responds, “Only 12 people? That’s not too many. Considering how many people live in the US, we are bound to have ‘crazies.'”

Meanwhile, all of those people on Niewart’s list had issues with either taxes, Obama, having their guns taken away, blacks, liberals or a combination of them all.

Yet again, the right can’t have their feelings hurt but they can go around hurting feelings and people.

What the hell is honeybell pie?

Rachel Maddow did a bit on this at the start of her show last night. You could tell she was getting madder and madder the more she got into it.

Jon Stewart was about as close to breaking into tears as I’ve seen him. Genuinely upset and obviously flailing around in a heartbreaking way, trying to find a way to put into words what has become obvious to anyone who has been forced to spend time watching what passes for political speak in this country.

Best quote is one that could be adopted as a motto here at S, N! – “Wouldn’t it be nice if the incoherent ramblings of the violently mentally ill could be easily distinguished from what we put on TV and talk radio?”

War on the Poor

We must close the panhandle gap!

We should change the paradigm, pick something we’re actually good at

Beer bong on drugs!!! Count me in.

•What liberals don’t realize is that if they eliminate all violent terminology from political discourse, then Lyndon Johnson could never have declared the “War on Poverty.”

——————————————————————————–
This is just a couple of short steps away from the killer wanking on about punctuation.

What the hell is honeybell pie?

T&U = commie

No kidding. We’re up to our elbows in “one lone nuts”. Good thing they don’t organize into a political movement or hold any sort of power in the national media, ain’t it?

Fox News: The Number One News Choice of the Lone Nuts.

Heinlein was too busy writing Gary Stu stories about doing his mom.

I write them about Dragon-King Wangchuck’s mom.

T&U = commie

Well, yeah, but I still don’t know what honeybell pie is.

Oh man. I was still dicking around in the last thread…No one told me that there was a new one. Still more proof the world does not revolve around me. Dammit!

Here’s a list of prominent and beloved conservatives publicly and earnestly wishing death or violence upon people. Gold medal to Glenn Beck’s finger-wagging warning to the Muslims that they’d better behave themselves or Daddy’s going to put them into concentration camps.

Palin isn’t on here, but the list is dated 2007 – no one knew who she was at the time. Still, you’ll be incredibly hard-pressed to find any equivalent on the left.

Still, you’ll be incredibly hard-pressed to find any equivalent on the left.

Bill Ayers!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!111111111111!

Um, I’ve been chickening out hardcore re: gathering mangoes. Anyone else dare to?

I almost put in a link for honeybells. I guess I should have.

Who the hell makes pie out of oranges?

Damn you fish!

Is this a straw that I see before me? Come, let me clutch thee!

It is one thing to plead for more civil political rhetoric, which of course would be good.

Yes, yes, something everyone can agree on, apparently. Three cheers for bipartisan sanity!

It is quite another to say that we should purge words and phrases that have military origins, which would be practically impossible.

Wait, what? Has ANYONE suggested this? Ever?

Bill Ayers!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!111111111111!

Also the guy who hit Bill Kristol with a pie.

I got in an arugment with my 65-year-old Old Man about this. I showed him that list and he responds, “Only 12 people? That’s not too many. Considering how many people live in the US, we are bound to have ‘crazies.’”

I hope you pointed out that there were “only 19 people” who carried the 9/11 hijackings.

Well, yeah, but I still don’t know what honeybell pie is.

Not this

I just got called by someone pretending claiming to be an NRA member asking if I was willing to answer some questions about the UN’s plan for our guns.

After the first peals of hysterical laughter subsided I asked if she meant the Onion’s plans for our guns.

I hope you pointed out that there were “only 19 people” who carried the 9/11 hijackings.

Yes, I did. Also, I mentioned the families of the police officers that were hurt or the random hostages who were put through hell. As we’ve seen, ONE lone moron can cause a LOT of damage.

As we’ve seen, ONE lone moron can cause a LOT of damage.

Consider Howard Kurtz’s effect on the field of media criticism.

tigris, no. Of course its a disingenuous suggestion. These Fuckers know we object to language that delegitimizes democratic administrations and encourages paranoia in regards to how the government functions. They’ve come right out and told people to BE AFRAID. and they should know by now thats a dangerous thing to say to their brain-dead and violence-prone target* audience.

*surveyors something or other?

I stopped into the packy a little while ago as is my wont and the clerk had Rush on so I had the misfortune of being forced to listen to 30 seconds of that oxycotin pickin’ varmint. A very close paraphrase of what he said: “Hillary Clinton is already calling the shooter an EXTREMIST!” And here I am still thinking he is some kind of Olympia Snowe style Republican. Must have missed that Tweet from Soros.

WHAT, THE ONION TAKE MAH GUNS?!

Who the hell makes pie out of oranges?

Nobody, which is why it is central to my point.

Duh, the way to solve gun violence is to legalize bigger more lethal guns.

I would eat an orange pie.

Guns don’t kill people!!! Opposable thumbs kill people!

WHAT, THE ONION TAKE MAH GUNS?!

Exactly.

I would eat an orange pie

VSnookiR

So they’re upset about being “unfairly” attacked as a group for the actions of a few extremists. Here’s an idea: Ask the Muslims how they deal with that sort of thing.

“VSnookiR”

Well. Thank you for not saying VBoehnerR.

I wonder if this how Lewis Black feels all the time.

Probably not, or he’d be too crippled by migraines to do his comedy.

Its not the bullet that kills you, it is the hole that it leaves behind.

Well, hows a bout renaming the Dept of Defense to The Dept. of Mess With Us and be met with Brutal Overwhelming Violent Response by Sparkle Ponies.

I have no idea.

I would eat an orange pie

VSnookiR

I would say “kill me now” but as that includes verbiage that may be or may once have been in some hazy distant language that can only be speculatively reconstructed violent, so instead I will just peacefully feed you to a rabid weasel.

WC, Pup, I guess you know F1 cars have electronic gear selectors on the steering wheel these days. I saw some in-car footage of Ayrton Senna getting around the Monaco track in the 80’s in a car with stick shift. Steering one-handed.

Video of Prof. Pitney trying to make his argument here.

Also FYWP

So they’re upset about being “unfairly” attacked as a group for the actions of a few extremists. Here’s an idea: Ask the Muslims how they deal with that sort of thing.

Muslims, schmuslims. They’re not reaLAMEricans. Now if you’ll excuse us we have to get back to claiming that homosexuals are all dangerous pervs out to destroy America by corrupting children.

p.s. Stop attacking the Catholic church!

It’s lucky that Liberals have such clever Conservatives around to point out the glaring mistakes that would be made if people stopped talking about watering the tree of liberty with blood (eeeew) etc..
Imagine if Liberals said “No one is to talk about bricks, anymore, since it will encourage dropping bricks off motorway overpasses onto cars below”. Clever Conservatives would be around to tsk tsk about how we could not build homes or schools or hospitals, no more.
It is only the razor sharp minds of urologically challenged Conservatives that keep us from ANARCHY!!!!

So they’re upset about being “unfairly” attacked as a group for the actions of a few extremists. Here’s an idea: Ask the Muslims how they deal with that sort of thing.

Yeah, that’s pretty much been my take on it from the start. Shoe on the other foot for once? Aww, poor dears. Suck it up and welcome to the world according to your rules.

A very close paraphrase of what he said: “Hillary Clinton is already calling the shooter an EXTREMIST!”

Is there a body count threshold beyond which a shooter can definitively be called extreme?

Such gentlemen!

kill me now

Conclude my wordly existence, forthwith!

You know, that Joseph Ducreux meme

I guess you know F1 cars have electronic gear selectors…

Yeah, I’m a fanboi. I recall watching Keke Rosberg et al. at Watkins Glen in the 70s. And I love watching old films, both documenatary and fictive (Grand Prix with James garner is almost documentary) that show how it used to be done.

Is there a body count threshold skin color scale beyond which a shooter can definitively be called extreme?

A very close paraphrase of what he said: “Hillary Clinton is already calling the shooter an EXTREMIST!”

Sooooo….what’s the problem, here, exactly? Is he admitting that he’s an extremist and doesn’t want to be associated with a murderer? I haz a confoosed.

“Is there a body count threshold beyond which a shooter can definitively be called extreme?”

I think its seven.

An isolated incident. Among many isolated incidents.

Hang on, that J-P Sartre was French. Just sayin’. Ze right wing is now embracing existentialism, n’est-ce pas?

Proposed bumper sticker:

What part of “well-organized militia” do you fail to understand?

We’re up to our elbows in “one lone nuts”.

Nuttiness is an individual characteristic. Liberals want to make it collective, &c.

I don’t even need to read the article, because the graphic is teh purest awesome.

Tintin, please feel free to go get yourself a nice applestrudel with hot vanilla sauce.

We’re up to our elbows in “one lone nuts”.

You know who else had one lone nut?

“…However, it would be inadequate to explain Loughner’s actions as merely the product of the propaganda of the political right and its stable of talk show demagogues. There are deeper social causes for the bloody events in Tucson.”

“The Democratic Party and the liberal left, in a perpetual state of political demoralization, console themselves with the thought that America would be a far happier place if only a more civilized and polite form of discourse could be encouraged. The task before reasonable people, they argue, in accordance with the gospel of Jon Stewart, is to persuade everyone, on the “left” as well as the right, to “tone down” the rhetoric, to argue less and listen more, and to find a common ground.”

“This sickly spirit of universal conciliation has found a distinctly reactionary expression in the aftermath of the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Giffords. Richard Kim of the Nation proposes, as an antidote to the violence of the right, that the American people “cherish more dearly the practice of politics and citizenship as something noble in its intent, something to expand and celebrate—instead of something to denigrate as the enemy of the people.”

“These words are a devastating self-exposure of the political bankruptcy of what passes for the “left” in the United States, and show why it is possible for the extreme right (despite being funded to the hilt by corporate money) to exploit popular grievances and monopolize the rhetoric of social discontent…”—David North
http://wsws.org/articles/2011/jan2011/tucs-j11.shtml

As for Rush, I didn’t stay or care to stay more to find out any details of whatever his whole point might have been. History tells me that it is retarded and asinine.

Slightly OT, I am greatly amused when I read conservatives ranting about the P.C. police deleting the N-Word from Huckleberry Finn. They never say what the N-Word is. Is it Naugahyde? Irony is a nigger.

The Bible sure would read a whole lot differently without all the martial words.

You know who else had one lone nut?

I want to be tigris when I grow up.

WIN, tigris

I fondly remember a National Lampoon column from back in the days that showed the helicopters evacuating from the embassy roof at the end of the War on Poverty.

When you steal from tigris you steal from the best.

The Democratic Party and the liberal left, in a perpetual state of political demoralization, console themselves with the thought that America would be a far happier place if only a more civilized and polite form of discourse could be encouraged.

MONSTERS

My comment over there, which will undoubtedly fail to pass muster and thus never see the light of day if’n I don’t re-post it here:

Well, hey, how about this: why don’t we just stop using gun imagery and metaphors in political speech, since we all know that this country has a long history of political assassinations carried out with guns? You know, kind of the way we don’t joke about bombs in our luggage when we’re going through security at the airport. Because it’s just not cool to do it.

Would that be simple enough? Then you’ll still have full latitude to call for your political opponents to be boiled in oil, crushed by falling pianos or boulders, tarred and feathered, and any number of other more metaphorical violent actions which, you know, don’t have a long history of having actually happened and a better than zero chance of happening again.

This rule should be simple enough for even a conservative to remember.

I want to be tigris when I grow up.

Pffft, growing up gets old.

helicopters evacuating from the embassy roof at the end of the War on Poverty.

And don’t forget the poor-boat people!

#

tigris said,

January 11, 2011 at 22:59

A very close paraphrase of what he said: “Hillary Clinton is already calling the shooter an EXTREMIST!”

Is there a body count threshold beyond which a shooter can definitively be called extreme?

Of course not, that would be silly.

What he means that it is not EXTREMISM, it is mainstream teapartyism.

Well, I’ll be damned. They posted it. Now let’s see what howls of outrage it provokes.

Interesting photos form the cane toads. Gridlock and empty store shelves.

You know, kind of the way we don’t joke about bombs in our luggage when we’re going through security at the airport. Because it’s just not cool to do it.

Uh, Jennifer, I respectfully disagree. At least for me, it’s more that I don’t wish to be dragged out of line and strip-searched in the back room before being charged with hindering an ossifer in the course of his duties.

Jennifer, it won’t provoke outrage because they’ll have no clue what you’re talking about. You should know better. Any words with more than two syllables in a sentence more than four words long requires hand puppets and a megaphone to explain it.

What is with Obama making conservatives think he was born in Kenya, wants to kill old people with his death panels, institute sharia as the law of the land but only after everyone gets gay married, acting like a communist, nazi, fascist and shit and don’t get me started on the FEMA camps. If Barry wanted civil discourse, he wouldn’t do that stuff.

I really wish they would stop showing pictures of Loughner. His mugshot is like something out of a horror film.

Loughner is a pot head which makes him a liberal. If he was a true conservative, he would pop oxycotin..

If Barry wanted civil discourse, he wouldn’t do that stuff.

T&U made a similar comment on another post. Domestic violence perpetrators blaming their spouse/SO/child for making them hurt them.

Whip
Inflation
Now
Mothafuckas!!!

Gerald Ford reference! You don’t see that often.

“the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina said,”

WIN!

1975, I was a wee lad. GF had his staff wear buttons that said “W.I.N.!” (Whip Inflation Now!) I thought it was silly and then I played with my legos and forgot until the Ugly Hunchbank reminded me. Good times.

You know who else had one lone nut?
People whose surnames rhyme with “similar” are not amused by the Colonel Bogey March.

My patina has been kinda scuzzed-up the past few days, feeling well enough now to rejoin the harmless pillow fight and wry banter we engage in contra the FUCKING CRAZYASS LYING PILES OF SHIT!!!!!

1975, I was a wee lad. GF had his staff wear buttons that said “W.I.N.!” (Whip Inflation Now!) I thought it was silly and then I played with my legos and forgot until the Ugly Hunchbank reminded me. Good times.

Magical thinking was big with the GOP even way back then.

I got to cast my first vote in Carter v. Ford.

Jennifer is brilliant . Also, too.

Why the uncivil discourse “moderately good looking not so hunchback”?

Aim it at her tits, Eddie.

Like gocart, I was a kid when the WIN buttons were around but I remember them because I was a news geek even then. I had no idea that it depended on a kind of sympathetic magic to work (and of course it didn’t). Voodoo economics even back then.

OT to T&U, I left a note about snow tires at the bottom of the old thread.

Jennifer beat me to it – you are fast!

Hunchback. A Hunchbank is where you plan on putting your money after you win the lottery. (rimshot)

Also, any thoughts on Delay’s three year prison term other than woot woot?

I stopped into the packy a little while ago as is my wont and the clerk had Rush on so

Heh, I thought you were going to complain about having to listen to Getty Lee sing about trees or something. THAT would have been bad.

gocart wolfie.
Guess where I live.
hint:
(Over the weekend, I think another ‘Naught said that they’re residing in this funhouse as well)

I would eat an orange pie

VSnookiR

LOLX1000

Also, any thoughts on Delay’s three year prison term other than woot woot?

It would be nice if we could hold a national referendum to determine whose bitch he will be.

the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina said,
“gocart wolfie.
Guess where I live.
hint:
(Over the weekend, I think another ‘Naught said that they’re residing in this funhouse as well)”

Needs more ‘splainin’.

Tintin, please feel free to go get yourself a nice applestrudel with hot vanilla sauce.

Is that what kids are calling it these days?

“Heh, I thought you were going to complain about having to listen to Getty Lee sing about trees or something. THAT would have been bad.”

Thank Tom Sawyer it was just another fascist blowhard.

“vanilla sauce.”

RACIST!

I thought you were going to complain about having to listen to Getty Lee sing about trees

There’s no swimming in the heavy water nor singing in the acid rain. [/falsetto]

Tucson.

It would be nice if we could hold a national referendum to determine whose bitch he will be.

This is why Jennifer is much-beloved. All I could come up with was “couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”

“the ugly hunchback reflecting a more mature patina said,
January 12, 2011 at 0:17

I got to cast my first vote in Carter v. Ford.”

As did I. Pissed my staunch Republican mother off no end.

Actually “Witch Hunt” is pretty good. Go ahead and flame away, I grew up with ’em and I still listen to ’em. Now get off my lawn.

The night is black without a moon
The air is thick and still
The vigilantes gather on
The lonely, torchlit hill

Quick to judge, quick to anger
Slow to understand
Ignorance and prejudice
And fear walk hand in hand

I wanted to vote for Carter, but was turned away at the polls for being four. FUCKING FASCISTS!

Eh. My first presidential vote was for Mondale. I was uninspired.

Ah VS was confused about the mental age that politicians aim for and the actual physical age of said work units. This has been noted

FTR, I think that if 4-Year-olds can’t vote then teabaggers shouldn’t be able to either because the two groups are equivalent.

AK beats me to the punch.

Those werrrrrrrrrre the days.

My first vote was for Carter over Reagan. I should have voted harder.

Hah! I was uninspired by Mondale also so I voted for the Communist guy (don’t remember his name) 3rd party candidate. (4th or 5th or 6th?) I was 18, shut up!

I should have voted harder.

Veiled getting-fucked-by-the-country reference.

“My first vote was for Carter over Reagan. I should have voted harder.”

Lol. One of favorite lines from “Futurama”:

“You’re not acting hard enough!”

Fuck You vs!

“I wanted to vote for Carter, but was turned away at the polls for being four. FUCKING FASCISTS!”

you _were_ a bit young to be fucking fascists.

Pup, I LOLed.

After coming to vague political awareness during Dick time, I larfed and larfed at Reagan running. How could ANYONE……….OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Confession: I came close to voting for Reagan in 80. Then I started paying attention.

After coming to vague political awareness during Dick time

My family ate dinner at the table every day until the Watergate hearings started. Then we ate in the living room in front of the b&w Zenith so that my mother could, using her word, wallow.

I still remember what Steve Martin said about Reagan:

“and I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was –

a glacial land, covered with ice”.

I came close to voting for Reagan in 80.

I called it the contest between Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber (honest!). But I could see even through the cannabis haze that the California dude was a useless hack.

Turns out I under-estimated the damage he’d cause.

There was a sane Repub. who was in the primaries with Ronnie , who I re-registered to vote for (then back …..see, I’m just as bad as Limbaugh!!!) will have to gazoogle…

John Anderson.

I thought Anderson ran as an independent.

I think he still ran in the Pres. election as an indi….or maybe I’m remembering wrong is possible……….

Departing the vessel. Wish me luck.

Well, I’ll never get those limbs back.

ATTS.

I thought Anderson ran as an independent.

He did, but he was more of a rightist than Carter, though less of a nut than Reagan.

I remember cuz my house was the “ANYONE but Regan” house. Man, my dad and stepmom HATED that dude.

Yeah, I guess the thinking was that there’s a good chance that Jimmy was toast, so hope for someone competent at least.

Quick !!! Vodka for Spengler!!!!!

The student-run humor mag on my campus ran a (pre-Photoshop cut-and-paste) altered picture with Anderson’s head on a nude model with ruler lying on his thigh to show that his erection was twelve inches long, with the caption “The Anderson Difference.”

17-year-old N__B laughed and laughed.

I’m declaring a war on those soft, extremely sticky boogers that form on the inner surface of the alar.

Wots happening, zombie-apologist? Why do you need Vodka?

Oooh, is there vodka going around? If it’s not just for splashing on wounds, I’ll have a dash of that. Hunchback! Get me a Thermos!

Quick !!! Vodka for Spengler!!!!!

Just stab him in the hand.

my house was the “ANYONE but Regan” house.

My house was the “Republicans are teh Awesomest!” house. Fortunately, I was far enough away in college that I could pretend my bike wouldn’t get me home. Shucks, too bad.

My parents were old enough to vote against FDR and they did, three times in a row.

Im loving the insights into Teen N_B’s psyche. Moar please.

WC, sorry to read that! Ick.

I don’t remember the 1980 election (or the 1984 election, for that matter), but I do know that my parents HAAAAAAAAAAAAATED Reagan. It was pretty much a mantra in my household.

I’m declaring a war on those…

I thought we were backing off of this kind of rhetoric.

(also, had to search ‘alar’)

My first vote was for Bush Sr over Dukakis. I got better.

My house was the “Republicans are teh Awesomest!” house.

Did your parents describe themselves as “staunch Republicans?” I ask because I’ve only ever heard that word used in two places: stopping blood flow and self-description of Rs.

Why is there vodka running out of my hand?

My folks and their cohorts were classic ‘Southern Strategy’ converts.

Why is there vodka running out of my hand?

You didn’t drink it fast enough.

My first vote was for Bush Sr over Dukakis. I got better.

No fear, my first vote cancelled yours out.

O/T, David Bowie was incredibly fuckable back in the early ’70s.

On-topic, my family, on both sides, has been liberal (however that was expressed and however aligned in earlier periods) since time immem. Fought for the Union, supported the Revolution, etc. etc. Civil Rights movement blarg blarg and whatnot. But my father had an uncle who was an absolute Nazi-lovin’ right-wing authoritarian swine. Everybody treated that as a mental problem, not a political position.

Why is there vodka running out of my hand?

Dude, use those glass things. They help you get the vodka from the bottle to your mouth. They’re in the cupboard next to the sink.

They help you get the vodka from the bottle to your mouth.

You’re not supposed to drink directly out of the bottle? Oh.

My parents had a fine contempt for Reagan.

My first presidential vote was against Bush the Elder (not that Dukakis filled me with joy but I didn’t think much of the man who was Reagan’s veep).

You’re not supposed to drink directly out of the bottle?

Clearly not – guitarist said “glass things” and everybody knows vodka bottles are plastic.

Soooooooooo the teetotaling thing’s not a go? *sigh*

I must insist that if you all continue imbibing, that you provide some sort of proof of shitfaceity. These must come in one of the following forms:
Regrettable text
Drunk dial phone call
Embarrassing video
Cringe-worthy photograph

You’re not supposed to drink directly out of the bottle? Oh.

Well there’s the juses and ice and all. Hello vodka? It’s me el manquésito.

I’m still a little shocked at LGF’s change…although I do find it ironic that a blog named after grenades contains anti-violence content.

I must insist that if you all continue imbibing, that you provide some sort of proof of shitfaceity.

Yer my besh friend.

(slobber)

(leer at cleavage)

Well there’s the juses and ice and all.

Huh? You’re not supposed to drink it straight and lukewarm?

What kind of fancy schmancy liberal drinks are *you* drinking, liberal??

I voted for the Nasty McNasty of New Zild politics, the conservative National party the first time up. What can I say? I shouldn’t have been allowed out by myself.

“Yer my besh friend.

(slobber)

(leer at cleavage)”

Thank you! Was that so hard?

Teh LGF conversion was the single biggest funniest thing in Blogland IMO. He created this audience of mouth-breathing, hate-filled, psychopaths and then turned on them. Classic.

Was that so hard?

Drunk as he is, I’m sure nothing much is hard.*

*thanks for teein’ that one up.

Nasty McNasty

Sauron?

One of my earliest political memories is how Mom and Dad campaigned for George Romney for governor of Michigan by driving slowly down the streets of our heavily Democratic factory suburb while we kids ran up to every porch and delivered GOP campaign flyers. It was something other than fun. In the end, I became a DFH.

Teh LGF conversion was the single biggest funniest thing in Blogland IMO. He created this audience of mouth-breathing, hate-filled, psychopaths and then turned on them. Classic.

Nicely summarized, AK. And lots of fun it was to watch.

“*thanks for teein’ that one up.”

I kind of consider it my job around here.

and everybody knows vodka bottles are plastic.

That is no bottle, sir, that is my IV drip.

Sauron stands as the World Domination and Eldritch Dimensions Party representative, every fucking election. Splitter!!

That is no bottle, sir, that is my IV drip.

The good thing about vodka is that you can still get high when it gets hard to find a vein.

“O/T, David Bowie was incredibly fuckable back in the early ’70s.”. Ummmm, no. Now by the mix 70s after the flamrock crap THEN he was fuckable. I might have even, though I probably would not remember.

Google manquésito and there is only ONE result. Isn’t there a name for that?

Mid 70s gawdamnit.

Logosingularity.

Isn’t there a name for that?

Are you thinking of googlewhacking?

At one time “chicken pantalones” returned just one result, while the individual words returned thousands.

Um, so I’ve heard.

Hey Kiwi, How’s Keys working out for you?

Heh, he’s from Helensville.

I IZ IN UR VILLE SWINGIN UR VOTES

…everybody knows vodka bottles are plastic.

The only reason to have glass booze bottles is for better bar fights.

And classier bar fights.

I must insist that if you all continue imbibing, that you provide some sort of proof of shitfaceity

Oh, you’ll know it. Because if it’s after 4 PM Pacific time, I’m always on my way.

Getty Lee

fish is fucking with me.

Eh. My first presidential vote was for Mondale

no wonder you became an engineer.

“chicken pantalones”

Chicken pants? Who was the one guy into chicken pants?

a blog named after grenades

I thought it was named after flickable boogers.

no wonder you became an engineer.

I should have voted for that piece of shit Ronnie?

“Oh, you’ll know it. Because if it’s after 4 PM Pacific time, I’m always on my way.”

This will help me, as you always seem a little drunk to me.

“flickable boogers.”

Dibs on this band name.

“fish is fucking with me.”

I had no idea you two were so close.

I should have voted for that piece of shit Ronnie?

no, it’s that if your first vote was mondale, it was become an engineer or slit your wrists.

I had no idea you two were so close.

you haven’t been paying attention to fish’s blog. BFF!

Now, off to make a dirty big drink, and get started on that vs-drunk-blogging….

“flickable boogers.”

Dibs on this band name.

you’re welcome to it. ewww.

This will help me, as you always seem a little drunk to me.

how do you know how tall he is?

“you haven’t been paying attention to fish’s blog. BFF!”

I know! I gotta get short and pithy if I want to partake of his blog. I will have to warm up first.

I know! I gotta get short…

I though you were short.

“Now, off to make a dirty big drink, and get started on that vs-drunk-blogging….”

Woo-HOO!

“you’re welcome to it. ewww.”

Mmmmhmmmm. Yer trying to play it all cool because you’re secretly dying of jealousy.

you’re secretly dying

Too late.

“I though you were short.”

No, I am boringly medium-heighted.

Short when standing next to T&U trying hard not to look at the unicorns stuffed up her nose.

“flickable boogers.”

you’re welcome to it. ewww.

An ‘ewww’ coming from a zombie seems … disingenuous at best.

“Short when standing next to T&U trying hard not to look at the unicorns stuffed up her nose.”

Exactly.

“Ooooooh, unicorns!”

No, I am boringly medium-heighted.

I guess you just looked short on the examining table.

That’s it. I was foreshortened from your perspective.

An ‘ewww’ coming from a zombie seems … disingenuous at best.

The disgust springs self-preservation. Zombie flicks, zombie spends 30 minutes looking for his finger.

Fresh inane stoopits from the right coming up – Joe Zamudio, 2nd Amendment Hero.

There’s already a bunch of high-fives amongst the over-compensating class for Zamudio’s “schooling” of Ed Schultz – all missing the point that Zamudio would have shot the unarmed guy who disarmed Loughner.

You know, I was pretty sure I typed a “from” in there. DRUNK TYPINK!

Barley wine – weeeeeeeee!!!11

If yer ever in Corvallis get yerself to Block 15 brewery. Fukin’ awsome!

Good fud two!

So that guy never fired his weapon, right? Doesn’t the help make the case that having guns isn’t always the answer?

Hah, not only am I still sober (coffee & Shasta® Tiki Punch Artificially Flavored Soda, all the live-long day) but my first vote was for McGovern against Tricky Dick, & I have never even contemplated voting for an R.

Parents were fascists, though … just rebelling, I guess.

We must close the panhandle gap!

Watt choo got gainst Oklahoma?

1. He never fired his weapon.
2. Loughner was already subdued by the time Zamudio got there.
3. He mistook the guy who actually disarmed Loughner as the shooter.
4. He claims that had the shooter not already been subdued, he would have killed him. Despite the fact that the guy he thought was the shooter was standing there with gun in hand and Zamudio didn’t shoot.
5. By his own admission, he was very very lucky to have not fired his weapon.
6. He has no formal training whatsoever and expected that he would have been some sort of hero.
7. His whole argument for Guns R Grate!!! Is based on his fantasy of being some sort of ultra super-hero who kills the bad guy.
8. Even if Zamudio’s PENIS surrogate shooting fantasy happened exactly the way it does in his wet dreams it would still be a worse outcome since this way Loughner can face justice and the victim’s families can get the closure associated with a guilty verdict.
9. I totes did his mom. She says he’s a whiny little brat who needs to be told three times to take the garbage out.
10. But he “pisses off” liberals (because he’s so stupid and dangerous at the same time) so he’s the new Hero Of The Moment.

” I totes did his mom”

ORLY? So how does she compare to me? This…of all the things you said…is clearly most important.

If yer ever in Corvallis get yerself to Block 15 brewery. get out immediately and if you can’t just kill yourself it’s better that way.

just kill yourself it’s better that way

Hey, tone down the rhetoric.

So far, I trump everyone for Ancient Voting: Nixon-Humphrey in ’68. I went with Eldridge Cleaver on the Peace & Freedom Party. (I liked Soul on Ice.) At the time, he was living in Algeria and wanted on a federal warrant. But I thought he was less criminal than Nixon or Humphrey.

I’ve got impeccable credentials as a Guerrilla Voter. Never ever voted for Plague. Voted for Leprosy in ’72 (McGovern was ‘Amnesty, Abortion, and Acid’. I could get behind that.) Also voted for Leprosy in Clinton-Bush. It took me two years to see through Clinton; I’ve never voted P or L since.

I had a helluva lot of fun in the ’72 election. I drove around Independence, Kansas with the McGovern bumper sticker. Almost every bumper in town has ‘Nixon’s the One!’ or ‘Nixon: Now More Than Ever’.

I was working evening/night shift at the radio station. So when Watergate popped up, I could watch all the Ervin hearings on TV during the day, and get updates from the AP wire at night. I got so damn wicked in my mic work: The closer the investigation got to Nixon, I began using “Nixon’s the One!’ When Rodino began the impeachment hearings in the House, I shifted to “Nixon: Now More Than Ever.’

Enjoyed snark even back then.

Too much autobiography?

No plague or leprosy votes in recent years, yet you are suspiciously silent on the question of votes for syphilis.

Well, hows a bout renaming the Dept of Defense to The Dept. of Mess With Us and be met with Brutal Overwhelming Violent Response by Sparkle Ponies.

Let’s go back to ‘War Department’. Call a spade a spade. While we’re at it, let’s shit-can the Air Force as a separate service. And go to firm-fixed-price contracting instead of cost-plus. There should mos def be an Assistant Deputy Undersecretary for Sparkle Ponies.

Too much autobiography?

Naw, that was an interesting story.

you are suspiciously silent on the question of votes for syphilis.

The STD party? No thank you! Partying in Copenhagen was how I contracted venereal warts….

No one compares with you vs. You are in a league of your own. All those others just pale in comparison. That’s why I have to do so many of them. To make up in quantity,,,

Re. Jennifer’s suggestion: “It would be nice if we could hold a national referendum to determine whose bitch he will be.”

The missus says, with a charming smile, “This is America! He could be anyone’s bitch!”

(We live quite close to, but are not officially in, his Congressional district. The number of times I wanted to dive under the desk and suck my thumb until the highest-profile face of my surprisingly lovable corner of the planet was on the TV…)

So they’re upset about being “unfairly” attacked as a group for the actions of a few extremists. Here’s an idea: Ask the Muslims how they deal with that sort of thing.

Quel Frommage

PM, even the beer snobbiest of the beer snobs would like Block 15. I like the Hypnosis, but Hoppy New Year is coming on line this week and it sounds very nice.

http://block15.com/beer/hypnosis

Quel Frommage

Dammit. I’m starting to want one of those.

“This is America! He could be anyone’s bitch!”

Must go into a screenplay.

Whale: I’m utterly capricious. And anyway, aren’t you satisfied with the Silver Awesomeness? And yours is First Class, for pete’s sake.

Also too and moreover, I want to devise another medal for rapid-fire threads. You know, where several people get into it. Those are so damn funny; interactive wit hitting on all cylinders. So it’s got to be a collective award. ((And collectives are Socialists, which adds additional prestige to the medal.))

Working on a name for it. Gotta bail soon.

I went with Eldridge Cleaver on the Peace & Freedom Party.

Ah so. I always wondered what he did after the show got canceled. I guess he wanted to lay low after Tony Dow’s rather unfortunate mishap in Bhopal.

VS: After the bebe arrives, you will get the Hero of Socialist Labor.

Ah so. I always wondered what he did after the show got canceled. I guess he wanted to lay low after Tony Dow’s rather unfortunate mishap in Bhopal.

+500 for Leave It to Beaver. +500 for Bhopal. +1,000 for linking them together.

Out. Fucking. Standing.

If some paranoid schizophrenic gets it into his head to kill Poverty, more power to him.

Hey Kiwi, How’s Keys working out for you?

I IZ IN UR VILLE SWINGIN UR VOTES
He has got the friendly ,nice guy persona soooo smooth that I think it is not breakable. But it’s like having an anemic uncle in charge. Sport of smiley but a little bit creepy BUT he did real well in the Earthquake and the mine disaster. The hench-persons are teh scary

My first vote was for Carter over Reagan.

Seconded.

Being raised by rabid radical weasels, I paid attention early and also learned early that much of the rest of the country was – how shall I put this? Oh yeah. Irrational. And woefully underinformed, not well served by the media even before it decided to give up reporting entirely and become straight-up entertainment.

And now, for heaven’s sake, I’m feeling a rush of nostalgia for the cold war era. At least the crazy people had a real enemy to fear & hate. Now they just kind of pulsate indiscriminately.

DKW: “….All those others just Palin comparison…”

I see what you/ I /did was done there.

No Kidding! We had 12,000 fucking nukes aimed at our ass and we just hoped their guys were a little saner than our guys. Fucking couple thousand desert fanatics? That ain’t shit.

I’m feeling a rush of nostalgia for the cold war era. At least the crazy people had a real enemy to fear & hate.

No Kidding! We had 12,000 fucking nukes aimed at our ass and we just hoped their guys were a little saner than our guys.

Last night I watched the news from Washington,
the Capitol.
The Russians escaped while we weren’t watching them,
like Russians will.
Now we’ve got all this room.
We’ve even got the moon.
And I hear the U.S.S.R. will be open soon
as vacationland for lawyers in love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnOkmGq3z3s

Inferior MTV-era video, but the audio was what came out of the car radio. Great driving song for rollercoaster roads.

Being raised by rabid radical weasels

It’s odd that that sentence would go along with “therefore I voted for the Southern evangelical who was probably the closest thing to a family values president we’ve ever had.”

If some paranoid schizophrenic gets it into his head to kill Poverty, more power to him.

Awesome.

It’s odd that that sentence would go along with “therefore I voted for the Southern evangelical who was probably the closest thing to a family values president we’ve ever had.”

That’s because you go to the polls with the candidate you have, not the candidate you might want or wish to have.

He’s right! Since America declared a War On Poverty, it’s been a 24/7 partay, with once-poor Yankees joyously farting through silk & shitting in clover all across the land! Poverty never had a chance once the attack-helicopters went in to finish off what little poverty survived the artillery barrages & rocket strikes. Comforting to know that if poverty ever returns to the U$A, the nuclear option is still on the table – because winning is everything.

PS: The undeclared (so far) War On Sanity is going swimmingly, too. The US should have it down for the count by 2015, at the very latest … then it’s paint-chips for breakfast & hovercraft filled with eels for all! EXCELSIOR!