The Lost Prophesies Of Nostradamus
In a recent expedition to the boiler room at a vacant Burlington Coat Factory site in Lower Manhattan, Sadly, No! Research Labs unearthed what we believe to be 13 lost prophecies from the famed 16th-century apothecary Michel de Nostredame, known commonly as Nostradamus.
We are hesitant to interpret these lost quatrains ourselves, as we are primarily archaeologists and not scholars of Medieval French, but we have had them translated so that readers may decide whether the legendary seer has again miraculously identified prominent people and events centuries before their births and occurrence.
PROPHESIES OF NOSTRADAMUS, CENTURY XI, QUATRAINS 1-13
1
In the year nineteen hundred and sixty nine,
The dough shall rise to load the pants:
Each of his befuddled ravings more stupid than the last
That is central to his point
2
Tears, cries and laments, howls, terror,
Heart inhuman, cruel, black and chilly,
Callous monster, pain and weeping
Richard Bruce ‘Dick’ Cheney
3
Anchored poorly, the baby plays host to rage
Her fury borne of loathsome thoughts
A visage contorted and a lesson:
If you keep making that face, Michelle, it’s going to get stuck that way
4
The fearsome mob grows in the New Land
Gathering in ignorance to sip upon tea
Loyal pets they shall yet prove
For monied masters who hold their leash
5
Twice shall the cock crow, then thrice
Though its cry be heard til the end of days
Never in all of time or space
Shall the Virgin Ben get laid
6
Of Northern birth but a Southern confederate
Loyalties confused he fumes and raves
Inelegantly his impotent wrath is shouted
Into the wind that would steal away his Tri-Tip
7
To the Tearful One will be left the realm
Carved out by the Corpulent Jester
Throughout Teatardia will extend his banner
A deformed countryside left in its wake
8
The new Leader darkens the halls of power
The warring tribes of Caucasia unite
They ache for a return to ways of old
Because they’re total fucking racists
9
From the lengthy island shall come forth
A harpy shrieking with bosoms thrust
Vexed, her poison pen and uncouth voice
A New Caliphate secreted in the Ambassador’s mustache
10
There will appear towards the North
Not far but distant from Russian shores
A pale one, Sarah, for fame’s siren call
Forsaking sworn duties to tweet stupid shit
11
The self-styled victims strike back against their foes
A new old power is finally secured
The Hill recaptured, all is well
The bankers’ street has walls once more
12
The money-changers cringe before the September storm
A barren larder where once they gorged
In the cover of night, Libra is tipped on its side
The treasure of the many ransomed to the few
13
The three branches will be reduced to none,
The people’s voice seduced to Mammon,
The country’s wealth stolen in the night
A proud nation dies while sleeping
Mammon, maybe? I think gammon is ham. Otherwise AWESOME. Hee hee, “darkens.”
What’s with the ad to protect the for-profit colleges?
*Applause*
Tig – grrr … fixed. Thanks!
Gammon being ham, the original quatrain could refer to the ‘Bagger congress freshmen being seduced by the prospects of sweet, sweet pork.
Nice bit of work, D.A.
Actually, it was a reference to the ‘bagger freshmen being seduced by an aging Welsh soccer player.
*dons beret, snaps in appreciation*
That was great. And made a hell of a lot more sense than Nostradamus’ scribblings.
FRIST!
Also, that was fucking funny. I chortled aloud.
Actually, it was a reference to the ‘bagger freshmen being seduced by an aging Welsh soccer player.
Well, the ‘baggers are all about heading the ball, so to speak.
Raised the bar, eh? Nice work. Wossnext? Youdo voodoo Haiku?
”
Well, the ‘baggers are all about heading the ball, so to speak.”
Tea hee!
Raised the bar, eh? Nice work. Wossnext? Youdo voodoo Haiku?
Haiku is easy
Blank verse is hard to pull off
‘Cos of the meter.
Okay free-time guy, now I request Haiku of Townhall.
These crazy fuckers
The stupid, how it burns
Wal-Mart sells Rascals.
Okay, in re: the news that a German team has cured AIDS with stem cells:
Fucking Socialists
They cured the gay cancer
Unborn baby dies.
From the lands of Africa
A lion of the Musselman horde deceives the elect;
With a bloody scythe he cuts down the free,
OMG I have had no weed the like of this.
You might have missed one:
From the plains covered in grass he comes
His putter held firmly in one hand
A gavel in the other
The orangeman seeks to dismantle the new order
needz moar Hister.
Needs moar hot ghey sex.
Needs moar hot ghey sex.
The lavender mob arises.
Invading from both coasts.
Making the men of heartland,
Wax their backs and kiss.
“The lavender mob arises.
Invading from both coasts.
Making the men of heartland,
Wax their backs and kiss.”
That’s beautiful, man.
Y’know, VS, the things you visualize cause you to release certain chemicals. What I’m saying is, maybe you want to check into baby-size ballgags and leather choke chains.
What I’m saying is, maybe you want to check into baby-size ballgags and leather choke chains.
The safe word is “Goo goo”.
What if I’m visualizing getting it on with some hot lesbian? Hmmmm? Ever think about that, smartypants?
Ever think about that, smartypants?
Uh, yep.
Within the mystical belt
Medea sleeps and dreams
Of imaginary things.
The two parts become one.
Haiku of Townhall
I had no idea. Magnifique!
Six months shall be the span
That bringeth all good things to pass
With simple faith and simple mind.
Lo! The freed man speaks!
‘Men are disgusting’
That is central to my point.
Can we moralise?
Haiku of Townhall – yeah, that was fun. The best part was trying to fit either Frank Stallone, Bruce Buffer or Chris Penn (RIP) into every David Limbaugh haiku.
Wait. where’s that part?
That was to exford.
Okay, I got nothin’ tonight. Do I deserve a
unicorn or magic ponyneato-keeno certificate for masteringTerror strikes in the pirate’s sea
The leader dictates with calm resolve
A cruel bullet finds its mark
Obama is still an appeasing socialist fag
I think your first poem is genuinely lovely…therein lies the problem.
…some of the complex problems of manipulating this text?
With orange stain-ed fingers,
The warriors do peck
Making the foe to run in fear
The western power’s paladins.
visualizing getting it on with some hot lesbian? Hmmmm? Ever think about that, smartypants?
I know I do
gammon. That’s all I can say.
The lavender mob arises.
InvadingPenetrating from both coasts.Making the men of heartland,
Wax their backs and kiss.
Also perhaps arises -> erupts or spring up or come forth or something. Ooh: mounts.
In the vein of my last one:
Behold in the land of the setting sun
A miracle doth appear.
The child of unnatural coupling
Issue of maize and cheese.
tigris: gets it
Now how about some Swank-based Wagnerian opera?
VS: They’re just a few bits of Loadberg’s quotes.
Bessarabia’s daughter of Abram’s line
Denies the birth of the blessed one
Who from the isles of Sandwich came
She cries, “The script doth not suffice!”
A New Villainy from the City of Wind
Throughout the heartland, a battle cry
A demand for a country returned
From the Dijon usurper
The age of the Great Eagle’s Decline
Sees the self-described patriots
Attach themselves tongue-to-testicle
I SHIT YOU NOT.
Dew of the mountain emboldens
From matronly cellars across the land
Courage multiplies by distance through wires
Wars fought with other lives in the aspect of Mars
That made me lol
Was supposed to be a Loadberg haiku made from his quotes. The ‘men are disgusting’ bit was a snippet of a quote, FYWP put a line space in between the lines. Unrelated to interesting talk of lesbian goings-on.
Also, I imagine Loadberg penning the haiku and then letting out a wistful, quiet, but persistent FART.
RE: Heart inhuman, cruel, black and chilly,
Callous monster, pain and weeping
Richard Bruce ‘Dick’ Cheney
MAKE THAT: Richard Bruce “Pricky Dick” Cheney (spawn of “Tricky Dick” Nixon)
Heavy, DA.
Ok, that lol was for Sub…and now exford.
Attach themselves tongue-to-testicle
The human Rentipede?
A reasonable man from the New Dutch island
Arises to chide the angry mob
Urges them to cleave to the center,
The status quo vexes him not.
There was a rich man, from Nottingham,
Who tried to cross the river,
What a dope, he tripped on a rope,
Now look at him shiver!
A new Tory arises
Scion of the paleo
His heart throbs at the thought of the Northern She-Grizzly
No matter his predictions, he is always wrong.
I was hoping to fit something like that in there, but that fucker didn’t do limericks.
We like quotes from Prince of Thieves,
Wizened women scratching their plates,
Obama helping Hollywood steal from the rich,
Teh painted man!
A Beltway, but not of Orion
A Wisdom, but not of the Wise
A Center, but not of the Centered
The Hope of the West in the foul grip of Croesus
I am going to quote my favorite Jim Morrison poem:
Death
And my
cockPENISAre the world.
A Beltway, but not of Orion…
Sounds like a poem from LotR.
A man who shouldn’t be freed,
His gayness he wouldn’t concede.
He lifted a scrote
Right up to his throat,
And made quite a Rentipede.
A fifth column discerned
‘Midst the portraits of glutes
Later, a change of heart
By the seeker of milky loads
Tolkein pr0n
In the middle all things shall meet,
Reconciled and blissful,
For rejoicing siblings in the land
Of contented broders and cisterns.
A man who shouldn’t be freed,
His gayness he wouldn’t concede.
He lifted a scrote
Right up to his throat,
And made quite a Rentipede.
His luggage, it weighed thirteen stone,
He just could not lift it alone.
He hired a boy,
And much to his joy,
His bag-handler slipped him the bone.
heh, bag handler.
In the shadow of twin disasters
The meat thesaurus drank more*
And joined the party of war at last
But died complaining of fools
*Thanks jim!
FYWP.
The widow suffered a chill-o
Upon receiving the coroner’s bill-o
For prepping her hubby, the pastor
To go meet his Master
Required removing two wetsuits, one dildo
Fuck you WordPress,
You’re really a mess,
I cannot post comments
With any success.
You’re all sick fucks. Where’s the comedy? All I see here is bitter peotry.
Philip Sydney:
Thou that art now the world’s fresh ornament,
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content,
And, tender churl, mak’st waste in niggarding*:
Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
To eat the world’s due, by the grave and thee.
*Veiled Obama reference from 1591?
A cruise upon the wine-dark sea
Brings heady wine;
A low Pez dispenser
Will surely beg for alms.
I’ve been trying to stay on topic. This is fun! DA: Thanks for selecting good hook for Sadlynaut commentary and imagination. (I especially liked A Beltway, not of Orion.) Departing soon for beer with a friend. Back later. I’ve enjoyed reading this thread and look forward to reading it when I return….
On the subject of sonnets, here’s an unusual verse from Shakespeare:
When most I wink then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected,
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
When I wake up, my peen is so erected.
You’re all sick fucks. Where’s the comedy? All I see here is bitter peotry.
Hey, let us be all emo -n- shit… at least we’re not cutting ourselves.
IceNine isn’t cynical enough. STONE HIM!
I can’t believe there hasn’t been any ramming of packages down throats yet.
Oh, there has.
Well I’m still waiting for the UPS guy to get here.
And then there’s the vicarly d00d,
Who hung up the drapes while nude.
Who’d think that a tuber,
Well-greased by a luber,
Would get itself stuck where he pooed?
I can’t believe there hasn’t been any ramming of packages down throats yet.
A wingnut cried, “Package down throat!”
I was told not to exit the boat.
The mangoes were rotten,
They can’t be forgotten.
Now all of the regulars gloat.
Hunchback! More martinis!
Said he, ram not thine package down my throat
O liberal scourge of manly virtue;
Make not the vengeful Orangeman emote
He’ll fuck the world, and that will hurt you.
TY, S,N! This is the bestest Xmas evah!
The usurper glides to power on lies
A chill wind sweeps across the land
Children forced to eat their vegetables
An enormous black cock shoved down the white man’s throat forever
You are cruel to start a poetry thread while I’m commuting, having dinner and boning your mom.
On Park Avenue did this iman
A stately Muslim House decree
Where East the foetid river ran
Past Ground Zero, the most sacred land
In all of the NYC.
So twice Cordoba broke the ground
Amidst the protests that girdled round
And there were cries of bigoted shills
Where blossomed many nuts angry
Whi roused the rabble so they’d want to kill
To safeguard the Burlington Coat Factory.
Sometimes I dream of men,
Rough men who stand ready in the night
To do dark things that we don’t want to know.
They are big and sweaty and manly and then
I wake drenched with sweat and sigh
I’M NOT GAY!
Conservatards all in a snigger
For claiming the preznit’s a Nigger
We’re all feeling sore
for helping the poor
That package just keeps getting bigger
This stuff has taken a genuinely literary turn. I’m starting to tremble.
Here’s from Beowulf, wherein is concealed a shocking prophecy:
To him the stateliest spake in answer;
the warriors’ leader his word-hoard unlocked:–
“We are by kin of the clan of Geats,
and Hygelac’s own hearth-fellows we.
To folk afar was my father known,
noble atheling, Ecgtheow named.
Full of winters, he fared away
aged from earth; he is honored still
through width of the world by wise men all.
To thy lord and liege in loyal mood
we hasten hither, to Healfdene’s son,
people-protector: be pleased to advise us!
To that mighty-one come we on mickle errand,
to the lord of the Danes; nor deem I right
that aught be hidden. We hear — thou knowest
if sooth it is — the saying of men,
that amid the Scyldings a scathing monster,
dark ill-doer, in dusky nights
shows terrific his rage unmatched,
hatred and murder. To Hrothgar I
in greatness of soul would succor bring,
so the Wise-and-Brave [footnote 1] may worst his foes, —
if ever the end of ills is fated,
of cruel contest, if cure shall follow,
and the boiling care-waves cooler grow;
else ever afterward anguish-days
he shall suffer in sorrow while stands in place
high on its hill that house unpeered!”
Astride his steed, the strand-ward answered,
clansman unquailing: “The keen-souled thane
must be skilled to sever and sunder duly
words and works, if he well intends.
I gather, this band is graciously bent
to the Scyldings’ master. March, then, bearing
weapons and weeds the way I show you.
I will bid my men your boat meanwhile
to guard for fear lest foemen come, —
your new-tarred ship by shore of ocean
faithfully watching till once again
it waft o’er the waters those well-loved thanes,
— winding-neck’d wood, — to Weders’ bounds,
heroes such as the hest of fate
shall succor and save from the shock of war.”
They bent them to march, — the boat lay still,
fettered by cable and fast at anchor,
broad-bosomed ship. — Then shone the boars [footnote 2]
over the cheek-guard; chased with gold,
keen and gleaming, guard it kept
o’er the man of war, as marched along
heroes in haste, till the hall they saw,
broad of gable and bright with gold:
that was the fairest, ‘mid folk of earth,
of houses ‘neath heaven, where Hrothgar lived,
and the gleam of it lightened o’er lands afar.
The sturdy shieldsman showed that bright
burg-of-the-boldest; bade them go
straightway thither; his steed then turned,
hardy hero, and hailed them thus:–
“Tis time that I fare from you. Father Almighty
in grace and mercy guard you well,
safe in your seekings. Holy shit,
They elected a nigger president.”
You see what I did there.
“December 15, 2010 at 2:29
Sometimes I dream of men,
Rough men who stand ready in the night
To do dark things that we don’t want to know.
They are big and sweaty and manly and then
I wake drenched with sweat and sigh
I’M NOT GAY!”
Lulz. My fave so far.
From the heartland comes a throbbing rage
Rough men embrace as brothers do
Coupled in swollen pride and as one erupt
To save the army from Sodom’s sin
There once was a shady board-hacker,
Who liked not the preznit blacker.
He awoke with a flute
in his arse, in wetsuit,
And exclaimed
OH MY, I’M A FUDGEPACKER
OMG! I caint believe no one’s done “This is just to say” yet!
This is just to say
I have taken
My package
And shoved it
Down your throat
At which
You were definitely staring
Longing
To gag on
Forgive me
For shooting a load
While you
Were inhaling.
Somebody’s got to work in cock-slapping as well
A sadness, widespread wailing from those who would steep
From where comes she of the grift, ursis horribilus
Meaning escapes words, posts in ground move as alive.
Fashions anew, breeches gain cloth to greet the puupe.
There once was a warblogging ace
Who spewed bile over every place
When called chickenhawk
He’d reach for his cock
And threaten to slap you in the face.
That Jeff sure loves his cock
He has not one clean sock
His only dream is
All about PENIS
At cock slapping he never will balk.
I miss HTML.
A bag of slime but not slim
Lies rush from his mouth
A glen beckons the unwise
Drink tea in the shade with a rabid fox
Father and I went down to camp
Along with law of Godwin
There we seen the men and boys
Jamming their ramrods in.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up
Yankee Doodle, dandy
Mind the cameras and the Fox
And filibuster Bammy.
(Okay, it’s a song. Sue me.)
Half a foot, half a foot
Half a foot onward
All down the throat of Persia
Thrust the 300.
“Forward the manly Spartans!
Charge past our gums” they cried
From their cinema seats
As they watch 300.
“Cowboys caint be ghey” they cry
“Boycott this Brokeback travesty
Watch not hot men
Embrace in a tent”
And yet they all own the DVD.
I’ve been busy with my application to on Dating Website o’the Rich and Lovely. Despite the great verse…..these three comments win…..
Ha! Hunchy says I win the internets…and I’m not sharing. You all have to get off now.
DKW – A trip down pectoral lane: http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/6647.html
Getting off. Yes , yes I am.
I fear that I shall never see
The watering of that fateful tree.
A tree whose hunger for human blood,
Not from cowards, but from patri-uds.
A tree that wears a tricorn hat
And eats Cheetos until it’s fat.
A tree that needs no hugs
From hippies and/or union thugs.
One that doesn’t mock or gloat,
As it shoves – down my throat.
With stinging shame that I can taste,
When it cock-slaps my face.
And never raise the marginal rate
On taxes…wait, I’M NOT GAY!
Thanks DA, that was a larf – but how am I gonna work Teh Surge™ into all this poetry about throat rammings. Also moar WOLVERINES!!one1!ReaganIsDreamy!!1
Hey, let us be all emo -n- shit… at least we’re not cutting ourselves.
Wait, I thought … crap. I wonder where I keep band-aids.
We’re not emo?! Then why am I wearing this eyeliner and skinny jeans?
Then why am I wearing this eyeliner and skinny jeans?
Because you have the soul of a tortured beast? And no one gets that about you.
*brushes too-long bangs out of face*
You get me, man.
The Bird of Bay Spring calls
The deaths of thousands of trapped souls
Resemble the time your lover lied
Yet does this bird not sing false to friends?
You see what I did there.
I did. And snarfled a little bourbon.
In a basement
I saw a creature, cheeto-stained, bestial,
Who, squatting by its keyboard,
Held his cock in his hands,
And fapped of it.
I said, “Is it porn, friend?”
“It is anger– anger”, he answered,
“But I like it
Because it is anger,
And because it is my cock.”
OMG! I caint believe no one’s done “This is just to say” yet!
Oh, fuck you, Wangchuck. I was working on mine and then got distracted.
OK, to the bottom of the thread for a “well fucking done!”. Now I will go to read what you clever bastards have made of it.
All I did is cheerlead. These kinds of threads aren’t my forte.
You should be furiously making pictures for every comment.
Kudos to DKW for getting that outfit for you!
This is just to say over and over again.
“But better is beer, if drink we lack
and water hot poured down the back.”
DA, mad fucking props for the quatrains. A fucking beautiful monument of snark.
Skol, you snarky bastard.
Youse guys is on fire – keep it up. Or I will post the proof that Nostradamus was WRONG! Because I saw it on the internet!
IceNine isn’t cynical enough. STONE HIM!
Too late. I’m there already….
Spengler: I liked the long Beowulf passage! (Punchline was the bestest part.) Or course, I always enjoy reading wyrd stuff….
Phlebas the Kenyan, a fortnight dead,
Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea swell
And the profit and loss.
A current under sea
Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell
He passed the stages of his age and youth
Entering the whirlpool.
Gentile or Jew
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and glib as you.
Wow. Well, I’m late to this party, but here’s one from the bathroom wall in one of the stalls at American University;
Here I shit
Broken hearted
Came to shit
But only farted
Underneath it was a line in another person’s handwriting, saying “That’s beautiful!”
Oh. And, continuing on the egregious nerd moment from the other time, plus it’s freaking populist song,
Jaaaaayne… the man they call Jaaayne
He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain’t hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne
Our Jayne saw the mudders’ backs breakin’
He saw the mudders’ lament
And he saw the magistrate takin’
Every dollar and leavin’ five cents
So he said “you can’t do that to my people”
He said “you can’t crush them under your heel”
So Jayne strapped on his hat
And in 5 seconds flat
Stole everythin’ Boss Higgins had to steal
He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain’t hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne
Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and I
The man they call Jayne
He turned ’round his plane
And let that money hit sky
He dropped it onto our houses
He dropped it into our yards
The man they called Jayne
He stole away our pain
And headed out for the stars
He robbed from the rich
And he gave to the poor
Stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain’t hard to explain
The hero of Canton
The man they call Jayne!
Full rendition by Adam Baldwin wearing Jayne’s funny hat can be viewed here.
Okay. I swear to Jesus, that was my last nerd moment for a few weeks. Well, days, anyway.
This is just to say
I have hidden
my birth certificate
that was in
the vault
and which
you were probably
saving
for impeachment
Forgive me
for I am
so Kenyan
and so usurper
Dammit, my timing is all shitty tonight. I keep getting interrupted!
The fact is, if you liberals don’t shut up I will personally cock slap you all with my penis, then make you my prison bitch on the floor concrete ass fuck, then bring freedomwith the invisible hadnd and America is a Christian Country.
The fact is, fuck religious tolerance.
America is a Christian Country. Liberals who say it is not are liars, we are founded on one true god, you cannot sepurate God from Goverment.
Why should be be tolerant of other religions, when those other religiohns are trying to kill us? WE ARE AT WAR.
Don’t like the Christian God, then leave.
This is just to say
I have stolen
the joke
that was in
your noggin
and which
you were probably
saving
for this thread
Forgive me
it was waiting there
now yours
is so old
T&U: Interrupted by what?
“Cockslapped by Christ” would be a great televangelism show.
T&U: Interrupted by what?
Bourbon, phone calls, pr0n-watching, DKW’s mom….you know, the usual Tuesday night stuff.
I thought Thers had won the day with this awesome review of Halperin’s 2008 Washington Yearbook, but damn DA. Fantastic.
Gary: If that was parody, it was nicely done! The comma splices were especially subtle. Exactly what one would expect from from an oatmeal-brained winger.
I gotta cash out now. Thanx to DA for a great hook; thanx to all for a great thread!
Forgive me
for I am
so Kenyan
and so usurper
I rofl’d
I would so watch Cocklsapped by Christ
In the place unsullied by progress
A champion of morality will fail;
Impeacher of Clenis doth stumble
Whilst Hiking the Appalachian Trail
OMFG – just perusing the S,N archives and I came across the bit where Jonah said that if the jihadists want to behead Ted Kennedy, ‘they’ll have to get through me first’. Wotta fuckin tool
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/5347.html
Two stories diverged in a yellow press,
And sorry I could not believe them both
And be one news consumer, long I stood
And peered upon them both
Until one was lost in the undergrowth;
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two stories diverged in truth, and I—
Believed the one that satisfied,
And brought Snow Snooki to prominence.
Teh Troops can just get beheaded.
The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the members of the several state legislatures, and all executive and judicial officers, both of the United States and of the several states, shall be bound by oath or affirmation, to support this Constitution;
but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.
Whatchu’ squawkin’ ’bout, Gary?
I thought a gammon was where the losing player doesn’t bear off any pieces. Now I find out its ham related as well!!!!!OMGLUCKEEDAY!!!!!!!
The fact is, the Consitution means that all demoninations of Christianity, no test for that, not other religions they dont count, neither do Papists.
Giant in stature
Small of mind and heart
Friend to money lenders and usurers
Her abacus shall want for beads
The Irish, too or NO DEAL!!
That sounds like a Papist smear to me.
I know a lot of Republicans still feel this way, and I’ve had some of them say as much to my face knowing full well what my heritage was.
It only makes it that much funnier that their party leaders can’t express those feelings out loud, or they’d risk alienating so many voters they’d be out of office for the longest stretch since Roosevelt/Truman. Gotta suck not being able to hate people out loud, doesn’t it?
Good try, Gary Ruppert… Or should I say, Party Purger?
Yes, the anagram of their names always gives them away.
Also. My roommate’s reading a book on anti-Catholicism in the U.S, which makes the interesting point that it was JFK who created the strict separation of church and state as we understand it now. Because the man was Catholic, he had to be vetted by packs of anxious Protestant voters who wanted his assurances that he wouldn’t take orders from the Pope, so he said, again and again, that he considered his oath of office paramount and that he would not allow any religious considerations to interfere with his duties.
And in the process, he laid out a view of separation of church and state that was actually more strict than what most Protestants would’ve been willing to impose on themselves. Course, it was the only way to win votes. But along the way, he created a new and more absolute standard for SCS, which previously had meant “c’mon, we’re all Protestants here.”
Or I will post the proof that Nostradamus was WRONG!
I have discovered a truly elegant proof that Nostradamus was RIGHT, but the margin is too narrow to write it, on account of the fecked-up s,n! HTML.
Giant in stature
Small of mind and heart
Friend to money lenders and usurers
Her abacus shall want for beads
Oh, Meggers!
I call bullshit on quatrain ten!
Nostradamus would have capitalized “tweet”.
Plus you missed:
The third millenium plus eight
Sees the rise of Kenya
“Hawaii, but no,”
The harpy cries.
The Ides of December shall see
A thespian approach the stage
His number shall be 68 more than a gross
But he’ll be late to the thread.
A woman scorned by her son
Whores herself to the masses
Makes more in tips
Than a waiter.
Makes more in tips
Than a waiter.
DKW’s mom is also a mohel?
DKW’s mom is also a mohel?
She’s certainly been known to Kutcherpeckerov from time to time.
A proud nation, or merely a prideful one?
Honestly, I keep looking back at US History and it keeps disappointing me. There was a brief moment – some time between the 30s and the 60s – when the US was evolving into something proud and wonderful. And then it all turned to shit again.
Beyond that? We were born a nation of landowners rebelling against other land owners. We grew strong by slaughtering our indigent neighbors and – like locusts – devouring the landscape under our feet. We descended into bloody revolt, as half the country fought viciously to maintain an amoral practice abandoned by virtually every other first world country to date. Afterwards, we prospered once more on the backs of child labor and environmental malevolence. It took a world wide economic depression to compel the national government to even consider a few sensible policies to ward off complete financial collapse. And inside 20 years we had the economic elites storming the “Big Government” gates all over again.
A brief spark of sanity and national comity, extinguished inside a generation.
I’m almost cheering for another Great Depression these days. I think its the only thing capable of setting people straight. We only get positive change when the economic elites feel pain.
I’m almost cheering for another Great Depression these days.
Economic history indicates that we have these a lot more frequently than just that one.
You might want to rethink that hypothesis. We don’t seem to learn much.
Zifnab said,
December 15, 2010 at 17:34
What cheers me up when reading American history is seeing progress happen, however slow it may be.
America after the civil rights movement may have sucked in a lot of ways, but it was still way better than it was before, when it sucked in all these ways AND also segregated nonwhite people.
America after the Progressive/New Deal eras was a better place than it was before, when there was no welfare state or meaningful unions. America after the Civil War was a better place than it was before, when there was slavery. America after the Jackson presidency was a better place than it was before, when even white males couldn’t vote unless they were part of the landed elite. And America after the Revolution was still better than it was as a nonrepresented subject of the British Crown.
That’s the trend I see in history, that no matter how fucked up America is, it solves its problems, one at a time, painfully and slowly, but it gets there – and once those problems are solved, they stayed solved (Jackson didn’t try to bring back British rule, Lincoln didn’t try to bring back the “only landowners can vote” measures, FDR & co. didn’t try to bring back slavery, LBJ and the civil rights guys didn’t try to destroy unions or the welfare state. Each of them accepted their predecessors’ improvements and build upon them).
And that’s the one thing that changed in 1980; it was the first political shift in which the new people didn’t accept the accomplishments of the old ones and were to a large extent based on reversing them (the New Deal’s achievements specifically, but there’s many more they take issue with as well). I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time in our history that we’re not only not moving forward, we’re actively moving backwards.
We grew strong by slaughtering our indigent neighbors and – like locusts – devouring the landscape under our feet.
And this differs from pretty much every other human tribe in history how?
Oh, and re the Great Depression thing – those things are hit or miss as far as reformists are concerned. In America, the Great Depression gave us the golden age of modern liberalism – in Germany, it gave them the Third Reich. Granted that the krauts had a very different country, but I maintain that if there was ever a time to impose dictatorship on America, the GD would’ve been it (well, either that or the Civil War). And if FDR had been a different kind of person, he probably could’ve done it.
Well, that’s the end of my stretch…
Zifnab: I don’t need another Great Depression: I’ve already got one simply from following the news.
I agree with almost everything you wrote, but I see that 30’s to the 60’s more darkly. The social safety was indeed a great leap forward (h/t to Chairman Mao), but it also had Joe McCarthy and HUAC; the emergence of the global American Empire; and, hula hoops.
And if FDR had been a different kind of person, he probably could’ve done it.
According to some people he was a dictator. My grandfather for one, cursed FDR for being a dictator and and communist until the day he died. I think he was wrong, and that FDR ended the great depression and won us the war, but some only saw the New Deal as one of the biggest power grabs in history.
And that’s the one thing that changed in 1980; it was the first political shift in which the new people didn’t accept the accomplishments of the old ones and were to a large extent based on reversing them (the New Deal’s achievements specifically, but there’s many more they take issue with as well). I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time in our history that we’re not only not moving forward, we’re actively moving backwards.
Not sure I agree with you.
We haven’t made many large steps (healthcare reform is one, as pitiful as the bill is, it’s still historic)
And since 1980, precious few things have been lost. Welfare was reformed, mostly because it was being reformed almost as soon as it was passed and became a crappy system. But really, what other large scale program was lost? Even SocSec was maintained.
In fact, I’d argue that 1980 represented a shift in tactics from the folks who opposed those changes from before Reagan, before LBJ, even to FDR: rather than attack them directly, cut off the funding.
That hasn’t worked so well.
We’ve started on other, more nebulous issues. Gay rights, for one. Legalizing pot. Global waming. Things like that.
All of these require much more explaining to people as to why they’re necessary. There are hate crimes against gays, but you don’t have video of a modern day Bull Connor whipping a hose on a bunch of guys in tight shorts.
We don’t have the poor elderly dropping dead on our streets or impoverished white folk in Appalachia starving, literally.
Apart from healthcare, I’m not sure what large-scale reforms we as a nation can do from the top down. The more recent trend is to make progress from the states up and here, we’ve been remarkably successful.
I mean…come on…IOWA? Gay marriage?
We don’t have the poor elderly dropping dead on our streets or impoverished white folk in Appalachia starving, literally.
heh heh heh…yet.
Actually, I was thinking on the one hand of unions and their ability to promote the working class’ interests, and on the other hand, regulation and progressive taxation which restrained the rich people’s power.
Though frankly, the fact that the New Deal’s achievements are still being debated at all, and that one of the two major parties still wants them all gone is a first – no one ever seriously debated bringing back the British, abolishing universal sufferage, or reinstating slavery after those things were passed. The country moved on.
But all good points nonetheless, as well as the broader message that we’re not as fucked as I made it sound. Thanks for the talking-off-the-ledge speech.
Oh, fuck you, Peak Oil. You fucking bastard.
Actually, I was thinking on the one hand of unions and their ability to promote the working class’ interests, and on the other hand, regulation and progressive taxation which restrained the rich people’s power.
Ok, yea, that we have lost, altho those weren’t exactly governmental reforms to begin with, per se.
If I could change one thing in recent history… hmm. It’d be a coin toss between telling Truman not to go along with creating Israel – and telling Ike to support leftie democracies of Mossadegh/Arbenz/Lumumba variety instead of destroying them. So much needless suffering, both for us and for the third world, saved right then and there. (Forgive the bias, I’m an IR major).
The American empire didn’t have to be an empire.
Zifnab, I agree with you. When you add this to the whole anti-science worldview of so many of the wingnuts it’s enough to make you drink heavily.
Regulation and taxation were, and I’d say supporting the unions was in itself almost as vital as everything the government did directly. Amazing what’ll happen if the government starts protecting the rights of labor instead of helping business beat them down. (For one thing, the working class finally has an alternative to turning to the mob).
And you’re right that cutting the budget hasn’t worked so far, but there’s always hope. The ultimate goal’s to stretch the country to the breaking point, where it finally has to choose between taxes and services, no third way through borrowing. Hope we manage to make the right choice – or that our politicians allow the right choice to go through.
I saw the weakest minds of my generation destroyed by sparkles, tingles, and teabags
Dragging themselves through the suburban streets at noon looking for a spellcheck for their placards
Palinheaded dipsters burning for the obvious connection between Democrats, Communists, Nazis and Kenyans
I got nothing to say. So I’ll just point to the following pic which might be useful to someone here.
Somewhat NSFW.
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldfri6oxbc1qevvpwo1_500.jpg
Somewhat NSFW.
When did Chris Christie grow a beard?
I just wanted to drop by and wish the New Yorkers a Merry Cliffmas and Happy Halladays.
Very good, Steerpike. I hereby forgive you for casting aspersions on my beloved Sarah Michelle. Obviously it was a simple dachshund spend that I croceated barbet.
Well hello Santa! Check out what’s not the matter with Kansas!
it’s enough to make you drink heavily.
I am disappointed that someone needs a reason.
I just wanted to drop by and wish the New Yorkers a Merry Cliffmas and Happy Halladays.
Your pitching staff was a combined four games over .500 last year. You have three major egos and a reclamation project as your number two starter, and Lee will be your number three starter, which is going to bristle him to no end. And no bullpen.
Good luck with that.
Regulation and taxation were [government programs], and I’d say supporting the unions was in itself almost as vital as everything the government did directly.
Yep. Not necessarily so much “supporting” the unions as preventing the corporations from destroying them, which was absolutely a set of policies with a clear direction.
What makes the ’80s different IMO is that they managed to convince the rubes that, to paraphrase, “government is the problem.” And support for many of the regressive policies that came from that, including attempts to cut taxes and services, all flowed from that.
“Well hello Santa! Check out what’s not the matter with Kansas!”
Wow. Thank you, Chris.
Check out what’s not the matter with Kansas!
Damn libs and their “charity”…
Brilliant. I’m struck speechless in admiration. Bravo!
Reagan also gutted funding for mental health care, which made the homeless problem in every major city a whole lot worse.
Gammon?
Yay! I killed the thread with my cryptically terse comment about the mental health care cuts. I guess what I meant by that is, it is another example of something that we were doing right, that has been lost since 1980.
Reagan also gutted funding for mental health care, which made the homeless problem in every major city a whole lot worse.
Yeah, and he really fucked the entire health care industry while he was at it.
77S: nah, we were just stunned that we forgot that. Not to mention Reagan’s one bone* for the God-botherers, cutting off family planning funding everywhere they could.
*VPR, not to be confused with dildoes + wetsuits.
I hereby declare war on Faux in retaliation for their war on Saturnalia.
Reagan also gutted funding for mental health care, which made the homeless problem in every major city a whole lot worse.
Well, he had no choice, did he? How else would he have balanced the budget? Um.. oh nevermind.
Well, he had no choice, did he? How else would he have balanced the budget?
Well, he could’ve sold arms to Iran, for starters!
Wow. I was never a believer until I read this:
“Each of his befuddled ravings more stupid than the last
That is central to his point”
Now I can hardly wait to read the rest of the really true prophesies.
I thought that said ” The Lost Prosthesis of Nostradamus.”
But Erlichman and Nixon are the true fathers of the Republican Health Care Postion. This clip should have been run over and over again during the HCR debate.
“Throughout Teatardia will extend his banner
A deformed countryside left in its wake”
Teatardia has always been at war with Intelligencia…..and Factia.
I hereby declare war on Faux in retaliation for their war on Saturnalia.
I’m shocked you weren’t already at war with them over Uranus.
I have noticed that Republicans like to run on the ideas of cutting spending and reducing taxes. Not nescessarily a bad idea, but when they get elected they always jump straight to step 2 and never get around to step 1. Sure, they’ll cut social programs whenever they can get away with it, but they always manage to spend that money and then some somewhere else.
I thought that said ” The Lost Prosthesis of Nostradamus.”
His nicknames in Nimes was “Le Gimp”
I thought that said ” The Lost Prosthesis of Nostradamus.”
There was a link for that on the previous thread.
it gave them the Third Reich. Granted that the krauts had a very different country, but I maintain that if there was ever a time to impose dictatorship on America, the GD would’ve been it (well, either that or the Civil War). And if FDR had been a different kind of person, he probably could’ve done it
Interesting, I was thinking along these lines earlier. I was wondering what would’ve happened if WWII hadn’t occured. With way more have nots than haves in the US, and no end in sight, if we might have had another civil war started along economic lines. This could have forced FDR to declare martial law, essentially creating a dictatorship.
OT – NOM affiliate says “We’re taking back our rainbow, gays.”
And don’t forget to take the marriage quiz. So informative!
“We are the real rainbow coalition. The gay lobby does not own the rainbow.”
Uhhhhhhhhhh, dont look now, but I think Jesse Jackson had first dibs on it…
Uhhhhhhhhhh, dont look now, but I think Jesse Jackson had first dibs on it…
Not to mention The Muppets
But they’re gay so it’s been licensed by Ernie and Bert to the gays.
I EFFed the marriage quiz.
On the bright side, I ran across this. Push listen. Then listen.
I didn’t do too bad on the marriage quiz. I did flunk the spin part of it though. I had completely different ideas than they had on what all the facts and figures actually mean.
On the bright side, I ran across this. Push listen. Then listen.
Cool, now translate that from Catalan to German and listen again.
What if I’m visualizing getting it on with some hot lesbian? Hmmmm? Ever think about that, smartypants?
Better question is when am I not thinking about that…
*whistling far and wee*
Mamma mia! So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years!
Check out what’s not the matter with Kansas!
Santa is Theft!!!
the little lame balloonman said,
But it’s winter!
Beware, have a care, you’re only filled with air.
the little lame balloonman said,
he spattered me with tomatoes, hummos, chickpeas and some strips of skin.
I met a traveler from an bacward land
Who said: Two vast and brainless heads of stone
Stand in rapture. Near them, on the mall,
Half drunk, a plastered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those patriotisms read
Which yet survive, stamped on these brainless things,
The bloggers that mocked them, and the hearts that they fed on;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Sarah Palin-Beck, queen of kings:
Listen to my words, ye Mighty lame, and despairer!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal hack, boundless and bare
The scorched earth and misspelled placards stretch far away.
We had a little lame balloonman. Sam the Druggist. Used to sell us condoms.
Very nice. Very nice indeed.
Despairer? More like despairest
Despairer? More like despairest
Your mom like despair.
Despair goes here, datpair goes dere….
OT; how feelen Sie about this?
Is it better to keep the filibuster as is, making it nearly impossible for us to change things in-depth but also doing the same for the GOP… or to weaken it, thus making it easier for us to change things but also easier for them to, y’know, privatize Social Security and Medicare and whatnot?
Discussen Sie.
Ay. Sorry to interrupt a DKW’s mom thread just as it gets off the ground…
Re: Filibuster.
Personally, I never understood why it was necessary in the first place, but it’s been tinkered with in the past (used to be a SOOPERDOOPERmajority of 75 was needed to invoke cloture) and it’s never been used as frequently as over the past ten years.
Me say, get rid of it, and implement some other form of keeping silly bills from passing. Perhaps a civilian review board of some sort.
Oh hey, while theres a sort-of-lull going on here, I’ll just point out that I’ve started Spengler’s book Rise Again. I’m only a few pages in but holy fuck what a breath of fresh air to read actual writing. The book I just finished was the author’s first and boy, howdy could you tell. Yeesh, does someone need an editor.
On a totally unrelated note, I have to say I cannot recommend Bitter Angels by C. L. Anderson. *sadface*
Sorry to interrupt a DKW’s mom thread just as it gets off the ground
These jokes just don’t write themselves, you know! It takes fine craftsmanship.
But, as with DKW’s mom, these jokes are untouched by human hands once they leave the factory.
Is Spengler’s book, Rise Again (available on Amazon.com) available as an iBook yet?
(psst….did we get the commission checks yet?)
I’m for keeping the filibuster.
Not that the Dems actually used it to any effect last time they were in the minority, dry powder and whatnot, but think what the jackasses would have done had there not been any threat at all of anything stopping them.
If it means we have to put up with obstructionist bullshit, so be it. The Dems should be screaming about it, the way the pubs did when so much as a grain of sand was put in their way. Anyone remember “Upperdown”?
I do think it should go back to forcing the motherfuckers to actually stand up there and do something for it, though. Seems they’ve gotten lazy. Soft bigotry of low expectations and such as.
Pupienus Maximus said,
December 15, 2010 at 18:44
God, that’s a wonderful picture.
I do think it should go back to forcing the motherfuckers to actually stand up there and do something for it, though. Seems they’ve gotten lazy. Soft bigotry of low expectations and such as.
One of the reforms mentioned is to force the 40+ Senators in the minority on cloture to stay in chambers while the filibuster is going on.
Ross Douthat defends loons against the moderation demanded by Christopher Hitchens. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let them fight to the death over it.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let them fight to the death over it.
Only if Douthat ties one larynx behind his back
I think the whole filibuster abuse thing is the pubs’ way of getting the dems to do away with it. “Don’t throw me in that briar patch…”
That I can get behind.
Sorry guys. You have to really want it.
They’re both pear-shaped, chunky guys, so as far as insulation goes, evenly-matched. But I think the stinking drunk guy will feel less pain, so my money’s on Hitchens.
Is Spengler’s book, Rise Again (available on Amazon.com) available as an iBook yet?
It’s on my Kindle if that counts as an iBook… And I’m enjoying it mightily.
But I think the stinking drunk guy will feel less pain, so my money’s on Hitchens.
YOU’RE ON! No takebacksies!
It’s on my Kindle if that counts as an iBook… And I’m enjoying it mightily.
No, I mean iBook for us iPhone and iPad enhanced individuals at some REEDICULOUSLY LOW PRICE of, say, $9.99?
Yep. Filibuster means somebody stands up there and talks and somebody has to be there to hear it. Absolutely.
It’s ‘way overused.
Also, up above, while I was plugging Spengler’s book, Rise Again, available on Amazon and fine bookstores everywhere*, I wrote “theres” when I should have writed “there’s.” My deepest apologies.
*don’t actually know if it’s available in bookstores everywhere but go ask anyway.
*don’t actually know if it’s available in bookstores everywhere but go ask anyway.
It is, but only in the finest bookstores, the ones no one shops in anyway.
No, I mean iBook for us iPhone and iPad enhanced individuals at some REEDICULOUSLY LOW PRICE of, say, $9.99?
The Kindle edition is $9.99, and is available for all sorts of devices. Check the Kindle edition, where it says “Available on these devices,” and it gives you a list. I think there’s a Kindle app you need… but iPhone and Blackberry are listed there…
I think there’s a Kindle app you need… but iPhone and Blackberry are listed there…
We do not sully our iPads with such proletarian “apps”.
Our apps wipe our arses with linen, and provide e-books of such breathtaking beauty and unyielding excellence as to obviate the need for such pedestrian tomage.
And, um, ya know MY stuff is now available on on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/vacuumslayer
And ive completed one commission for one S,Ner and am about to start another.
Our apps wipe our arses with linen
That’s pronounced “awps” by the way, and always with pinkies up.
Always.
Also.
ya know MY stuff is now available on on Etsy
Spengler outbid you for space here.
YOU’RE ON! No takebacksies!
Are you seriously suggesting that Ross Doohead could take Hitch in fight? Sure the old drunk is old and probably drunk, and his lifelong chain-smoking may have impaired his health a bit, but Doohead? I’d bet on Trig over Ross.
And MY stuff is always free here
Are you seriously suggesting that Ross Doohead could take Hitch in fight? Sure the old drunk is old and probably drunk, and his lifelong chain-smoking may have impaired his health a bit, but Doohead?
Hitch is on chemo, dood. He couldn’t stand up straight if he downed a fifth of Jack
“Spengler outbid you for space here.”
Evidently.
“Spengler outbid you for space here.”
Evidently.
You know, money isn’t the only currency here….
*eyeing empty spot on etchings wall*
Hitch is on chemo, dood.
I did not know that, even after all that reading I did last week about esophageal cancer. Still, I’m going with Hitchens over Doohead, TKO in Round 1. It’s Ross Douthat.
I read Spengler’s fine opus, and will shamelessly plug it (makes a great gift!) on the Nook. I don’t remember what I paid, but it would have been cheap at twice the price, whatever it was (“Two thumbs up!” raves Zombie Weekly)
That Hitch has cancer is all the more reason to root for Hitch in the battle. It’s a twofer.
I bought two copies as gifts!
YOU’RE ON! No takebacksies!
Are you seriously suggesting that Ross Doohead could take Hitch in fight? Sure the old drunk is old and probably drunk, and his lifelong chain-smoking may have impaired his health a bit, but Doohead? I’d bet on Trig over Ross.
You misunderstand. The point is not who wins or loses, but that both are getting a beating.
I bought two copies as gifts!
I bought a second copy for the kitchen- it does wonders as a garlic smasher.
I bought a second copy for the kitchen- it does wonders as a garlic smasher.
Yes, but does it slice through a can but still remain sharp enough to cut a tomato?
Yes, but does it slice through a can but still remain sharp enough to cut a tomato?
But of course! And the no-stick surfaces let me kiss goodbye to the heartache of “onion slice adhesion”.
“No, I mean iBook for us iPhone and iPad enhanced individuals ”
I WILL NOT BE KNOWN AS AN IPADDED PERSON.
Mr. Wetnook’s book is in stock at Powells. That’s all anyone should need to know.
You misunderstand.
I think not. This is Thar Intranodules and any discussion about violence between two individuals/groups/organizations/&c. is ALWAYS about “who would win in a fight”.
But of course! And the no-stick surfaces let me kiss goodbye to the heartache of “onion slice adhesion”.
But, B^4, what if I just want to make a simple and delicious grilled cheese sandwich?
At the risk of sounding terse,
I have to ask, “Yo, where’s the verse?”
Speaking of the iEnhanced, iNow find myself in possession of an iPad and iWas wondering what the good apps were.
iMean, iAm really impressed with the interface – it sure is fun to scroll around and multi-touch zoom and whatnot, but iHave no iDea what iAm supposed to be doing with it.
But, B^4, what if I just want to make a simple and delicious grilled cheese sandwich?
Just heat your copy of the book to 350, and gently place the sandwich on it!
Speaking of the iEnhanced, iNow find myself in possession of an iPad and iWas wondering what the good apps were.
I don’t know. I have an Android tablet*. It was so cheap!
*imaginary
“Yo, where’s the verse?”
Poetry slam was last nite. Now we’re lining up UFC Hitchens-Douthat I: Pope’s My Hero v My Dope’s Chemo.
When, perchance, I came to read,
A Holiday Sadly, No! thread.
The narrative voice so silken sweet
of minstrel Al Stewart plays in my head.
Just heat your copy of the book to 350,
Make sure you don’t reach Farenheit 451.
Hah my imaginary iPad is better than yours. Boom Boom Ha ha take that Chatham Islanders!!!
iHave no iDea what iAm supposed to be doing with it.
The only good use I see for the iPad is as a demonstration tool.
Poetry slam was last nite. Now we’re lining up UFC Hitchens-Douthat I: Pope’s My Hero v My Dope’s Chemo.
I think Hitchens would “bottle” Douthat in the dewlap, then finish him off with a “Glasgow kiss”.
Poetry slam was last nite. Now we’re lining up UFC Hitchens-Douthat I: Pope’s My Hero v My Dope’s Chemo.
The Thrilla in vanilla!*
*shamelessly ripped of from John Stewart. (who may have ripped it off from someone else, I couldn’t say)
The Thrilla in vanilla!*
The Thrilla twixt the shillas”
That’s right, according to Monsieur DoucheChapeau, Dubbia was a centrist! Damn you, centrists!
Also, he’s receiving quite a drubbing in comments. It is tres amusing.
“The Slapfight Between the Fat Whites”
The most sluggish slugfest in history!
Jesus Christ, I step away from the thread and this is what happens.
Also, as well:
http://www.gallup.com/poll/145238/Congress-Job-Approval-Rating-Worst-Gallup-History.aspx
They just keep setting records!
They just keep setting records!
They’re the New Achievers!
…and besides, Mr. Spengler, we spent a good chunk of this thread polishing your taint. I for one would appreciate some appreciation.
Hmph. Artists.
Poetry slam was last nite. Now we’re lining up UFC Hitchens-Douthat I: Pope’s My Hero v My Dope’s Chemo.
…my god, you are brilliant!
Clearly, they aren’t triangulating strongly enough. Perhaps if they caved more to the right?
Nice job. I can see myself!
No. Nevermind. That’s just some asshole.
They’re the New Achievers!
You think they might recognize that by carrying forward and approving some legislation that might benefit anyone beside corporate interests might actually improve these numbers. Then again, this assumes that they care about these numbers since they seem to get re-elected en masse despite the public’s perception.
There’s a blogger named D. Aristophanes
Who writes quatrains that sound like cacophonies
And that’s why he has got
Neither mansion, nor yacht
Nor (especially) a string of poloponies.
Then again, this assumes that they care about these numbers since they seem to get re-elected en masse despite the public’s perception.
You gotta elect somebody, like it or not. Pick a brand of false populism and stick with it!
I saw this quote over at The Big Picture
That’s my take on Marx (what I’ve read about/from him) in a nutshell. His diagnosis of the society he lived in was spot on. It’s the remedy that leaves something to be desired.
Still, that leaves Marxists one better than movement conservatives. At least they understand the world they live in, even if you don’t agree with what they want to do to it.
I had the misfortune of overhearing part of radio program today, in which the subject of schools allowing students to use spellcheck dyring some tests. Apparently, this is Marxist, and so I hobbled over to the radio and turned it off because I have a real low tolerance for STUPID right now.
My taint, it gleams
Twixt asterisk
And exclamation point
A clause, interjunked
Buffed until the farts
They slide right off.
Thanks, guys.
[toes pebble shyly, hangs head]
My taint, it gleams
Twixt asterisk
And exclamation point
A clause, interjunked
Buffed until the farts
They slide right off.
*snif* That’s beautif…HEY WHO FARTED?
A second millennium and a new war
The bulldog now a lapdog
Has scribes tell tales to flatter
Pretending to victory in failure
Awesome post & many rockin’ quatrains up yonder in the comments. Unfortunately my Muse is on strike. C’est la vie.
they seem to get re-elected en masse despite the public’s perception
They don’t care if a million vote or if five do. The GOP does better with five than with a million, so THIS IS GOOD NEWS FOR JOHN MCCAIN!
The lamp-posts are beckoning, & I eagerly anticipate a clearance sale on rope.
Buffed until the farts
They slide right off.
Has scribes tell tales to flatter
Pretending to victory in failure
Ya’ll are repeating yourselves.
Ambitious rhyme! I think you brought it off very well….
I liked the poetry slam last night. I’m not fast enough to jump in with whiplash wit, like most of you. Maybe I will toy around with something on-topic….
Gridirons abhor
a pact with the Devil:
Faust failed
At Nostradamus.
The bearded one in the East
And the Swarthy one with the least
Bang their heads in their hands
Ignoring Rush and other bands
A heartwarming story of love, scraped out of the intertoobz:
I got nothin’ tonight. So I’ll put up someone else’s poetry. This was written about forty years ago, yet the themes and images apply well today…..
At midnight all the agents
and the superhuman crew
go out round up everyone
that knows more than they do.
Then they bring them to the factory
where the heart attack machine
is strapped across their shoulders
and then the kerosene
is brought down from the castles
by insurance men who go
check to see that no one is is escaping
to Desolation Row.
The heart attack machine. Very cool
I’m a Luddite. The discussion of iPods, iPhones, Blackberries, nifty apps, Kindles, and suchlike makes no sense at all to me. I don’t even own a cell phone. Or a television. (So most television-based references go right past me, too.)
I read books–those archaic old things with pages.
Curmudgeonly afterthought: Since when did writing 100 pages constitute a ‘book’? Have you noticed that books are getting thinner and thinner–both in physical dimension and in content? A person who has written ten such ‘books’ has produced about the same amount of text as The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote de la Mancha.
I guess I’m in a pissy mood tonight. I should probably bail and go back to reading Patrick O’Brian. I’m going through the Aubrey-Maturin novels for a second time. Currently on the 16th novel, The Wine-Dark Sea
The upside downies are asleep. Hee hee. Glue all the furniture to the ceiling!!
Then Fred Astaire can dance on it.
“Two nations will go to war
But only one shall win.
A man in Istanbul will have his hat blocked
And it shall be ruined.”
– Woody Allen
Groweth across all lands
An infernal series of Tubes
The symbol of this giant web
A great bum rent asunder
Another Kiwi: Chaos Theory Bottling Company. *chortle*
Substance: Very nice! Maybe I should stick around a cheerlead. I’ll make another pot of coffee. When that runs out, I bail for O’Brian.
Who? Don’t you know the classics?
Substance: Better compositing than Fred’s work. (But as for pure dancing skill, Fred’s in a higher league altogether.) Thanks for the entertainment! My coffee just finished, so I’ll pour my first cup.
There’s a blogger named D. Aristophanes
Who writes quatrains that sound like cacophonies
And that’s why he has got
Neither mansion, nor yacht
Nor (especially) a string of poloponies.
One Revolta sought to mock DA’s blog URL
A mission that surely must augur well
So he thought up a joke
Dashed off a keystroke
But alas what emerged was pure doggerel
Oh dear.
…And what rough beast, its hour come round at last
Slouches toward Wasilla to be born?
Outstanding, Steerpike!
(I’m a Gormenghast fan, btw. Well, the first book anyway. It sort of derailed by the time he got to the third, IMO.) My favorite line was from the night-time duel: “Every blade of grass mattered.” Perfect.
Awesome, Ice-Nine (I’m a Vonnegut fan, as well). I agree with you about the third book, but I have to say I think the first and second stand well together. They are a perennial favorite re-read of mine.
America the beautiful. Even when times are tough there’s always something it can offer you.
I’ve got some time on my hands–and a mug of fresh coffee–but it seems that most of the Sadlynauts have gone to bed…probably to have Hawt Sex! I, however, am one of the Night Hawks. (Love that painting!) So I’ll amuse myself by writing about poetry.
You know what impressed me about the Poetry Slam? So many people produced very good material. (And DA set a perfect tone with his Opening Hook quatrains.) Obviously, the ‘Nauts have actually read poetry…and understand how to manipulate and distill language. I wish that more people read poetry for the sheer enjoyment of it: To have great poets, there must be great audiences.
I particularly enjoy epic poetry. Every few years I go on an Epic Poetry Binge and re-read The Iliad…The Odyssey…The Aeniad…The Divine Comedy…Beowulf…and Paradise Lost. Sometimes I read the most beautiful passages aloud, especially Homer: Dactylic Hexameter may be a dinosaur–it even sounds like one!–but I still love it. Beowulf, too. The first audiences experienced poetry by ear, after all.
I also like T.S. Eliot, Wallace Stevens, Emily Dickenson, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, and Kenneth Patchen (latter two are semi-obscure SF poets). Suggestions? What do other folks like?
I’m a fiction writer; I rarely write poetry…only six altogether. Indeed, I stopped writing it after completing my sestina. It took me four years (off-and-on) to bring it to its final polished form.
Everybody Tells Me Everything
by Ogden Nash
I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Another lost quatrain found:
From the West comes the obverse of the M
A sober drunkard, far above his station
The East on fire, brown people drown
Everything he touches turns to shit
I dug up “Howl” for my earlier entree, and found myself having to read sections of it aloud to get the flavor. (which, considering I was at work at the time, was a trifle awkward). That’s a perfect example of your point. Just reading Ginsburg’s perplexing lines on the page is confusing and frankly boring, but you can have endless fun playing around with different intonations, pauses, emphases and rhythms, its like playing a game that’s never the same twice, and always fun.
You say you’re a writer, I9–anything you want to direct the Sadlies to? Quite a few of us jumped on board for Spengler’s thriller, and I haven’t heard anyone say they regretted it…
Substance: Depressing. Booze leads some people to hostility and violence. I can’t imagine a stoner ripping off anyone’s nipple.
Anyhoo, I’m off to bed now. ‘night Sadlies!
It’s a perfect scene! Her mother-in-law’s 44, she has to dig in her tank-top for her nipple…and then bags it and wonders what to do.
I agree. I was never able to get into Ginsburg…but I enjoyed his contemporaries Ferlinghetti and Patchen.
Alas, no. My work is probably insane. I’ve been workling on highly- detailed invented history, complete with imaginary source docuements. It is also a derivative work, so there are major rights-and-permissions tangles. Also I wasn’t kidding about my low self-esteem: I’ve never submitted any of my fiction anywhere.
I made my living by writing video scripts. I’ll never make a nickel off my fiction. But the definition of a writer is ‘one who writes’. Doesn’t say a thing about publishing. I’ve been working on The Lore of Minas Tirith for almost thirty years. Undiscovered Genius…or Utterly Insane Man. Probably the latter. I mean, I’ve spent some time in a psych ward….
In American History, to be sure; however, there was some seriously bad crap going on in the Middle Ages and Antiquity. But I agree: The news seems to get more and more depressing every day.
Anyone up for some Serious Class Warfare? Revolution? I’m ready to tear up the cobblestones and build barricades. I’m already a Guerilla Voter….
Whale Chowder produces another gem. Well, I’ve finished my second cup of coffee, so I’ll trundle off to read some Patrick O’Brian.
I must say I’ve enjoyed this thread from its very start. One of the all time greats on SN! Thanks to all. G’night.
Heh. Why is it called the Dog Watch?
Because it’s cur-tailed.
Harharhar.
Love O’Brian. Enjoy.
Touche, DA
Can we make fun of Amy again? This is all very distressing and upsetting.
Poets are all fucking faggots.
I didn’t say that.
This is where mine came from, Ice Nine:
http://vmlinux.org/ilse/lit/crane.htm
It is one of my favorites
A load of pork in a tri-cornered hat
Sweating profusely in un-natural light
Vapid, blarting, bagging tea;
To listen is to waste your time
How about a joke to start the day?
So is anyone else up yet? Or is everyone hanging out at SN! home, waiting to seize control of the next thread?
I also like T.S. Eliot, Wallace Stevens, Emily Dickenson, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, and Kenneth Patchen (latter two are semi-obscure SF poets). Suggestions? What do other folks like?
Marianne Moore, H.D., William Carlos Williams (naturally), Muriel Rukeyser (The Book of the Dead ZOMG), Ezra Pound (fascist that he was), Federico Garcia Lorca, Baudelaire, Whitman, Blake…there are some Beats I’m forgetting about, I’m sure, and probably some modernists…
Also, y’all are fucking CRAZY re: Ginsberg. I’m not the world’s biggest fan, but Howl is a fucking work of genius. Kaddish is pretty amazing, too.
Thanks, Ice Nine! I’m going to use that one!
I also like T.S. Eliot, Wallace Stevens, Emily Dickenson, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, and Kenneth Patchen (latter two are semi-obscure SF poets). Suggestions? What do other folks like?
I’m a big John Donne fan.
Speaking of the iEnhanced, iNow find myself in possession of an iPad and iWas wondering what the good apps were.
iMean, iAm really impressed with the interface – it sure is fun to scroll around and multi-touch zoom and whatnot, but iHave no iDea what iAm supposed to be doing with it.
http://www.cio.com/article/647063/2010_s_Most_Popular_iPad_Apps?taxonomyId=3234
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2362572,00.asp
Among other lists.
Personally, my three favorite iPad apps (that is, designed specifcally for the Pad and not upsized iPhone apps) are Bookshelf, The Weather Channel, and BBC News.
Also, if you want to rid yourself of your recycling chores, download Zinio and start subscribing to your magazines online. They are full print versions ported to the Pad AND instead of flipping to “Continued on p. 84” they are hyperlinked internally, and also include links to Safari websites optimized for the Pad.
Safari is pretty much the version that runs on Macs, except no Flash.
My work is probably insane.
Not a bad thing. See next thread!
Ever self-publish? Amazon has a really nice service, I’m told.
I’m a big John Donne fan.
I can’t even see the man’s name without thinking of that goddamn Metallica song. Fucking Metallica.
Donne was literature’s first Surrealist. Also, he wrote really good porn.
Also, he used a flea to try to get into a chick’s pants. You have to admire that.
Shel Silverstein- now there’s a poet!
Revolta – yours was way better btw
gam·mon 2 (gmn) Chiefly British
n.
1. Misleading or nonsensical talk; humbug.
… in response to that and the entire thesis of America moving forward until 1980 and then backwards;
You offer one way of viewing history, but I don’t think it does justice to the complexities of the pre-1980 eras. Progress has gone backwards before – didn’t Wilson institute segregation in government offices during the early 20th century? And me, I don’t view 1980 as a paradigm shift so much as a backlash against the last such shift (the 1960s).
Put it to you like this; a hundred years ago, someone like you probably thought the 1870s were the end of American progress. That was when troops were pulled out of the South, Reconstruction ended, the Radical Republicans sidelined, black people abandoned, the Old South allowed to write the history books, and, in a nutshell, the whole egalitarian movement that led to abolition kinda just died. (At the same time you had the ruling GOP going from free labor party to big business party, and government abdicating all its duties to become a Wall Street enforcer).
Things looked just as bleak to liberals then as they do now, but that era didn’t last forever; eventually the backlash faded, and civil rights were able to move forward again, and look how far we’ve come since. I think the Reagan revolution was the same kind of event, and I would hope that it’ll eventually fade away just like its predecessor.
How long that’ll take is anyone’s guess. But remember, civil rights were basically dead in the water for seventy years (from 1877, when Reconstruction ended, to 1947, when Truman desegregated the military and got the ball rolling again). Seventy years! And you had to wait another ten/twenty years before the movement turned out real political gains.
Something to remember when we get frustrated with the pace of change. I too wish the Reagan revolution could have been staked through the heart in the 2008 election, but it wasn’t, and that’s that. Eventually it will be; nothing lasts forever, even in politics.