Come, Fly With Me
Posted on December 5th, 2010 by Tintin
ABOVE: Blogger Bob
Blogger Bob, The TSA Blog
Don’t You Believe It*
- You cannot believe everything you read in the Onion. Also, Gulliver is imaginary and there is no such place as Lilliput.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Do you know who else said “don’t you believe it”?
Ok, but fairies and unicorns do exist, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
I’ll have to come back later because I want to taste the Mango’s that go with this post, but I’m not brave enough to get out of the boat…
Aww, it’s cute. Poor guy. He knows giant unwashed masses of Americans don’t know The Onion is a parody site.
A while ago The Onion had an article titled “CEO of Gillette Razors: ‘Fuck everything, let’s do FIVE blades!‘”
A few months later Gillette actually brings out the five-blade razor.
Be warned, TSA.
A wonderful example of how utterly out of tough these people are. Here’s their online outreach guy who can’t separate the Onion from reality. No jokes about bombs in line please. The terrorists win if you have a sense of humor.
Thank you bush administration (and the Obama administration for lettuing it continue), thank you cowards of America, thank you rapescan and all the other hardware providers hosing us, thank you for the TSA and all the bullshit theater they provide.
-out of tough-
Also works!
But…. but… it was on the internet! I saw it, I saw it.
I’m getting out of the boat. Don’t try to stop me! [splash]
That’s not water.
No, no, I’m serious. Let’s eat all those Irish babies.
I’m back! What mangoes I could find were in the comments. They’re pretty bland:
&c.
Not even a mention of DEADLY BALL RADIATION! [sigh]
I’m sick in bed today…so get used to having your Sunday playmate around.
I’m sick in bed today…so get used to having your Sunday playmate around.
Feelen Sie better.
That “genuine golden flavoring” on your popcorn? It ain’t butter.
So, yeah, not many mangoes, but a lot of evidence of POOP from authoritarian dipshits. The story about the breastfeeding mother is fucking appalling.
Although I do find it funny that nobody gave a shit about the repeated harassment and marginalization of people for YEARS until it started happening to white people.
Do you know who else said “don’t you believe it”?
And I don’t believe the similarity, behavioral and alliterative, is unintentional.
“Head of Scanning???”
VPR?
vs,
Need some vaporub?
Danke, Chris.
Is anyone else besides me disturbed by the big glass cubes in the middle of the checkpoints?
I’m sick in bed today…so get used to having your Sunday playmate around.
A man could get used to that…
I’ve got to stop mixing alcohols, it leaves me frazzled far beyond any alcohol effects. I want to crawl back into bed, but I know it won’t make me feel better.
No, no, I’m serious. Let’s eat all those Irish babies.
The other, other white meat.
This is hilarious.
Some fake guy nymed “Blogger Bob” (aka “the TSA blog team”) posting on a .gov site is making fun of people who supposedly think fake news is real.
It’s even more fun that “he” regularly makes snide comments about people who don’t accept the TSA rationale for egregious violations of your personal autonomy.
If only the great 4chan would come to our rescue.
Restfor Thewiked said,
Come on now, that’s just cruel. I love it.
Gee, I wonder if the I-Hate-All-Government Party could make use of Blogger Bob.
I mean, what the fuck, FOX News presents just as much farcical nonsense as The Onion, so why wouldn’t so many drooling fucktards out there have such great difficulty distinguishing between reality and the made-up world presented by mass media?
You throw out enough phony stories about anything on the boob tube and intertubes and you can make most rubes believe even the most ridiculously false horseshit imaginable.
Welcome to our modern culture. The stupids are winning. The ranks of the unenlightened and irrational are swelling more and more every day.
Yipeee. Rah-rah.
Bob: “While you and I know this is satire, tell that to the professional journalists who have called about these stories. Tell that to all of the people who are complaining to our Office of Civil Rights and Liberties about the Denver piece.”
Um, okay?
“A man could get used to that…
I’ve got to stop mixing alcohols, it leaves me frazzled far beyond any alcohol effects. I want to crawl back into bed, but I know it won’t make me feel better.”
Ooh, which ones did you mix? *nosy*
I DO NOT LIKE HER
tell that to the professional journalists who have called about these stories.
That’s your job, Bob.
The dangers of mixing alcohols is partly why I now quietly mumble “vermouth” as I pour the gin.
The dangers of mixing alcohols is partly why I now quietly mumble “vermouth” as I pour the gin.
Some even go so far as to have a small portrait of Antonio Benedetto Carpano over the bar that they can glance reverently at while pouring. It’s enough.
“Bob: “While you and I know this is satire, tell that to the professional journalists who have called …”
Yeah riiiiiight, Bob. That you point out the factual errors to “debunk” them suggests to me that you didn’t REALLY know that when you wrote the blog post. Wouldn’t it have been easier to simply say “they are satire”? Nor do I believe that any professional journalists would be unaware of that obvious fact. What’s more, Bob, the people who are duped are not usually convinced by things like “our agents don’t use handcuffs”.
I’m left to conclude that you a liar or an idiot or both.
Well, yesterday I got rapescanned AND glovegroped leaving from San Francisco to Atlanta. I fly from there a good bit, but they must have installed those scanners fairly recently. Your stimulus dollars at work!
I was taken from the line and directed into the scanner. I stood there and the TSA woman says, “Anything in your pockets?” I reached down and said “my wallet”, intending to hand it to her. I had no idea what the procedure was, being a virgin and all. But as I twisted and reached for my right buttcheek, she popped the picture. She said, “You moved! The image is blurred, so we have to pat you down.”
I have no idea why I wasn’t offered to remove my wallet and try again. So they sent me over to a floormat with yellow footprints showing where to put your feet. A fellow came over and immediately asked, “do you want to be in a private room, sir?” I said no, go for it. He put on latex gloves and proceeded to give me a cop-style pat down. He was emotionlessly efficient. He did NOT touch my junk! Just patted down my thighs. The most “ooo, baby” thing he did was feel inside my pants’ waistband, and he warned me when he was about to do it. It was less invasive-feeling than getting patted down by cops on the street.
But then he did something extra – he rubbed his gloves with a pad and put it the “bomb sniffer” machine, while I watched. In about ten seconds it beeped and a big green light went on. “You can go, sir, enjoy the rest of your trip today.”
And that was that. Stupid kabuki theater, but less offensive than a typical driving-while-black encounter, I’m sure.
I’m off now to find out if the Atlanta airport will do me again.
Mat nails it: unlimited information + zero critical thinking skills = America today.
USA! USA!
Oddly, I didn’t get raped or molested at Dulles. It’s wrong to be disappointed right?
raped or molested
At the airport going through the scanner or just in general?
Never ever, in an airport or out, thank goodness. I mean…*disappointed*
Does anyone else find those post-apocalyptic shows (like about the sun becoming a red dwarf or humans ceasing to exist) on the History and science channels really creepy and depressing?
Have you seen the latest New Yorker cover? I’m thinking, ‘new TSA policy, not so bad’. I may go through the procedure myself, several times, and I am not even planning on flying.
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/toc/2010/12/06/toc_20101129
I travel through Schipol Airport in Amsterdam a couple of times a year. It’s my favorite airport- good food, easy to navigate, it has a mini-art museum and a library, for dog’s sake. But, it has really tight security proedures. Joe’s security experience in San Francisco sounds like every security experience I’ve ever had at Schipol. In fact, since my left leg is held together with titanium screws (DO wear your seat belts, kiddies. You won’t like flying out through the car windshield.), it sounds like most of my airport security adventures. I worry a little when I don’t set anything off. And the scanners pick up my particular abnormality better than the metal detectors. It’s less trouble for me.
VS, I find those shows and movies and books to be a vision of our real future! Our kids get to live them! Huzzah!
A mini-art museum at Schipol Airport? Do they have any larger pieces?
I was good at the first party and just had a normal beer.
The second party started with three shoots of Patron, then some sort of microbrew ale, then a mixed drink with rum and god knows what else, then Stone IPA which is very hoppy/bitter, then a few drinks of a gingerbread beer (why?!) washed down with another beer I can’t remember.
I need to learn to just sample new things. No hangover symptoms except some slight fuzziness in the head, but my stomach is not happy.
Never ever, in an airport or out, thank goodness. I mean…*disappointed*
I think the secret is to tap your foot under the stalls. Though you might get stuck with a republican politician.
OT: just found a really cool place to by hand-crafted manly good-smelling stuff
http://www.etsy.com/shop/portlandgeneralstore
TeeHee. In November, the theme was “Cows in Dutch Art.” And yes, occasionally they break out the Rembrandts.
Oh, Mysticdog…that list sounds like bad news.
And I don’t wanna be patted down by anyone but hot liberal guys who play guitar. So I think I’ll pass on the toe-tapping actiOn.
That’s good news — not only can you smoke in European airports, but they’re distributing cigars.
“VS, I find those shows and movies and books to be a vision of our real future! Our kids get to live them! Huzzah!”
I was gonna joke about wingnuts not being able to change the nature of the sun…then I remembered their stance on global warming.
VS, if you want to get depressed read “Storms of my Grandchildren” by climatologist James Hansen. Our great-grandchildren will curse our names as they try to catch a rat to eat.
“That’s good news — not only can you smoke in European airports, but they’re distributing cigars”
The best place to buy cigars in Amsterdam is PC Hagienus or something very much like that and I think they’re on the Damrak. I always picked up a couple boxes of Cuban cigars when I was in town. But, as I mentioned the other day here, Schiphol has the best price on Bols Korrenwijn.
/useless travelogue
“VS, if you want to get depressed read “Storms of my Grandchildren” by climatologist James Hansen. Our great-grandchildren will curse our names as they try to catch a rat to eat.”
Ouch. Bleak. I’m sick in bed fumbling around on my iPhone–need levity!
Final word on couple who should have been aborted
Another good read on why the deniers are winning the PR war is “Merchants of Doubt” by Naomi Oreskes. Surprise, surprise, the same bunch of scoundrels have been using the same arguments to cast doubt on the science of acid rain, SDI, smoking, CFC’s etc. Bastards.
I’m gOnna look that up on amazon, S
Just a clarification, Hansen doesn’t say anything about eating rats and such, but if we do nothing then that will be the inevitable result.
I LOLed. No, no… I didn’t think so.
Andrew Zimmern has met people who’ve gotten a jump start on this culinary trend.
‘Tis a feature no a bug, lad.
That New Yorker cover is pretty sexy. One way to make all the angst go away is to separate people in line by sexuality and then hire smokin’ hot agents to do the groping. Preferably bisexual, so they don’t have to touch any junk they don’t want to.
Hell, they just reprint it as real.
Poking around for mangoes I found this gem on an earlier post. If ever there were a photo more deserving of a shooping, I don’t think I’ve seen it. “Thank you TSA, for the anal probe!”
Have I mentioned I’m totes looking forward to going through airport security with my cankle?
Oh, and the whole idea of “Bloghdad Bob” endlessly typing that there are no
US tanks in Baghdadviolations of personal liberties by the TSA is both saddening and amusing at the same time.Physio going ok?
Ditto on the “Merchants of Doubt” book. I think I heard the authors on some public radio show (Nazis!) and bought a copy for my friend who is in charge of worrying about All the Bad Things.
Funny, this may all go back further than tobacco. Why, just the other day, I was wondering, Benzene? How bad is it? Can I use it as an aftershave? So I checked the communalist fascist Soros biased wikipedia and found:
“Human exposure to benzene is a global health problem. Benzene targets liver, kidney, lung, heart and the brain and can cause DNA strand breaks, chromosomal damage etc. Benzene causes cancer in both animals and humans. Benzene was first reported to induce cancer in humans in the 1920s. The chemical industry claims it wasn’t until 1979 that the cancer-inducing properties were determined “conclusively” in humans, despite many references to this fact in the medical literature. Industry exploited this “discrepancy” and tried to discredit animal studies which showed benzene caused cancer, saying that they weren’t relevant to humans. Benzene has been shown to cause cancer in both sexes of multiple species of laboratory animals exposed via various routes.”
Remember Martin Short’s lying lawyer character? “I never said that! I can’t believe you think I said that!” Yeah. These guys have been with us for a long time.
Oh, and I was joking, I didn’t think of using benzene as an aftershave. But yeah, people used to use it for that, I learned, at the font of all knawledge.
I added the book to my Wish List…and I feel sorry for your friend. I wouldn’t want to be charge of worrying about All the Bad Things.
FYWRDWP
in…in charge
FYWRDWP
f**k you with Roschach’s dick, WordPress?
Rusty Dildo. Yeah, I had no idea dildos could rust, either.
(DO wear your seat belts, kiddies. You won’t like flying out through the car windshield.)
YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!
Making people wear seatbelts is soooooo nanny state.
So Blogger Bob was surfing for news stories on masturbation? Has anybody told him there are sites for this kind of thing without all those annoying words?
Be afraid people, because stupidity is too dense to fuse. Instead of igniting into a furnace that creates heat and light, stupidity just sorta clumps together, sucking everything into its insidious vortex. Spinning with a high pitched whine, and belching gas.
Erm, perhaps some critical mass of stupid will involve the production of heat and light..
Then, of course, there’s the Playmobil Security Checkpoint set.
Yet more proof that Jonah Lödedhøsen is the living embodiment of stupidity.
Playmobil security checkpoint set
You’re fucking kidding
Check out the “What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?’ section.
You’re fucking kidding
Nope. Saw it advertised in a Toys R Us or K-Mart toy catalog stuck in the Sunday dog-trainer.
Not available in the UK, then?
I must admit, that’s pretty damn indoctrinational, although it may just be to present TSA employment as something to aspire to in the low-employment future.
RE: the sun becoming a red dwarf et al: I just find those things very sad. I mean, as much as it sucks that we have to die, the idea that it will all be gone without a trace, no record of any life at all, just makes me…ineffably sad.
Me too. I’m not exaggerating when I say I find them depressing.
Erm, perhaps some critical mass of stupid will involve the production of heat and light..
Just before that happens a stupidity nova occurs and in a giant hissy fit, the mass of stupidity splinters in smaller clumps, each one with its own stupidity vortex.
I’m only depressed in that I’ll be dead before any of it happens.
Maybe I’ll hold on for the asteroid of 2028, but that’ll probably be a disappointment too.
Sic transit … yada …
Some sci-fi author said that every life-form either achieves space travel or dies. Fair enough.
I vote for space travel! And where’s my damn hovercar already?
I’m kind of sick of the whole apocalypse porn thing myself. It would be so much more preferable if people used their guilt complexes to motivate themselves for improvement and themselves and society, rather than planting their ass in front of the teevee to be told that the sun is going to explode and the atmosphere will evaporate, and that humans deserve it for being such bastards.
Customer Review: ‘Holding out for Guantanamo Playset’
Playmobil Security Check Point 1 new from $225.99.
See what I mean about the stupidity clumping?
Hydrogen: Been close to the centre of the neutron star of stupid
The reviews are fucking priceless.
The thing about the Playmobil set is, Spiny Norman just wishes that the real TSA screeners would wear shiny black uniforms.
I like the Playmobil set. Eight years of pants wetting about terrorists under the country’s collective beds and now, suddenly, everyone’s a fierce advocate for civil rights.
RE: the sun becoming a red dwarf et al: I just find those things very sad. I mean, as much as it sucks that we have to die, the idea that it will all be gone without a trace, no record of any life at all, just makes me…ineffably sad.
Ehh, we’ll have irrevocably poisoned the planet way before then, anyway. That, or per M. Bouffant’s asteroid, some other cosmic calamity will wipe out “intelligent” life, leaving the planet for the cockroaches and beetles and whatnot. Good riddance, I say. Me, I’m hoping for a gamma ray burst.
Eight years of pants wetting about terrorists under the country’s collective beds and now, suddenly, everyone’s a fierce advocate for civil rights.
Gee, I wonder what could have changed?
“now, suddenly, everyone’s a fierce advocate for civil rights.”
No, they aren’t. Most polls indicate that the TSA, unfortunately, has very high levels ob public support. Do try to keep up, would you?
I had no idea dildos could rust, either.
I ain’t stainless.
Beware: Gamma ray bursts are detected by BATSE*!
*If you thought GOATSE was bad, imagine …
No, they aren’t. Most polls indicate that the TSA, unfortunately, has very high levels ob public support. Do try to keep up, would you?
It is you who are not keeping up, about a great many things.
Only right wing conservatives, not silly “polls,” can speak for The American People(TM). If right wing bloggers oppose the TSA’s violation of civil liberties, then as sure as God made the state of Texas, EVERYONE opposes the TSA’s violation of civil liberties and the government must hear the voice of the people and give the right wing what it wants. AMEN!!!
This just in:
There are no green eggs and ham or Cat in the Hat or Dr. Suess, its all been a big hoax.
Thank you now you may return to your normally scheduled program.
And what of the poor alien archeologists? They’ll be deprived of a chance to laugh at the bilaterally symmetrical carbon-based hayseeds of the galaxy.
All things considered it is probably best that no one ever knows what we got up to here.
More than likely any aliens really aren’t going to care, if they can travel the galaxy then they really consider us more like ants.
ants + LED ZEPPELIN
Some sci-fi author said that every life-form either achieves space travel or dies. Fair enough.
Stupid Newton’s Second Law. Stupid relativity. Stupid, STUPID laws of physics!
Don’t we create our own reality around here? Can’t we get Karl Goddamn Rove up on this one to create a push-poll for more favourable universal constants? Do I have to do EVERYTHING?
I don’t follow you exford, but then I’m just a commoner trying to make it in an uncommon world.
I don’t know about ants plus led zeppelin; does not compute.
I noticed a few weeks back that the TSA blog had the following information:
So I think the root of the problem is that it’s hard to tell the TSA’s official advice from parody in the first place.
BATSE*!
jeez, MB, do you have to leave that laying out where Substance can see it?
BATSE*!
jeez, MB, do you have to leave that laying out where Substance can see it?
Oh dear, now I’m expecting NosferatohmygodIdidn’tknowbatscouldevendothat.
Hey everybody! I just had an idea!
@Chris, what you say might make some modicum of sense if the TSA had backed off an iota in response to right-wing pressure. They haven’t.
Physio going ok?
Yes, thank you for asking! My range of motion is getting better (still not perfect, of course, and it may never be), but I’m still pretty weak. My calf atrophied pretty badly (3 cm smaller than my uninjured leg), so we’re mostly working on building up strength now.
My limp isn’t too bad, but I’m sloooooooow and I can’t run at all yet. I tried on 2 inch heels today, and I can *stand* in them, but walking is another matter.
And my scars itch.
Okay, are we talking about, you know, squeak squeak bats, or baseball bats?
I’m not sure which is more disturbing…
Asymmetrical women are hawt.
Symmetry in general is dull.
You know, the goatse wouldn’t half as good if it was a straight-on shot. He’s gotta be a little off to the side.
What’s your limp TU?
Oh, three hours ago. I’m late again.
Jennifer said,
December 6, 2010 at 0:22
“a red dwarf et al: I just find those things very sad.”
First of all Jennifer, WE ARE PEOPLE NOT THINGS! and yes, some of us are very happy although not me now with you. The correct term is ‘little person’ not dwarf by the way but I’m sure you knew that. Later in your little (can I call it a dwarf) screed you go on to say the following “we have to die” and . . . that we “will all be gone without a trace, no record of any life at all.” WOW! Tell us how you really feel about us. I have an idea, why don’t you die instead you anti-dwarfite bigot!
vacuumslayer said,
December 6, 2010 at 0:24
“Me too. I’m not exaggerating when I say I find them depressing.”
Et Tu vacuumslayer?
Dear Sadly, No! President,
I have just been informed that one of your frequent commentators has advocated genocide against our people. We beleive she may intend to infect our tiny blankets with tiny small pox. We take these threats very seriously and we assume you will also. Please take appropriate action forthwith and post haste ASAP or suffer a consequence.
Good Day Sir!
The LNAADL
anti-dwarfite
I’ve found that simply storing food on high shelves is more effective in removing infestations than spraying antidwarfite chemicals.
Of course, you’re gonna have to go through the nudie scanner / grope gauntlet before boarding the spaceship, as the earth dies.
BATSE, detecting gamma ray bursts
Reminds me of that early episode of South Park where aliens put a big radio dish in Cartman’s butt.
Of course, you’re gonna have to go through the nudie scanner / grope gauntlet before boarding the spaceship, as the earth dies.
The aliens that are hiding behind the Hale-Bopp comet and who will arrive in the nick of time to save us all have, I believe, perfected security screening through anal probing.
I like the dog food commercial where the tiny Indians attack the tiny chuck wagon.
Chuck-wagonist!
Deer The LNAADL,
Sadly, Non! does not have a president, as this would violate their anarcho-syndicalist principles.
~
You’re living in a fool’s paradise, you are.
Dear Red Person,
I’m the person who brought up red…little people…in the first place. So direct your little ire at me, not Jennifer.
Also, kudos to the proud red dwarf: you brought the lulz. Oh yes.
Is the nudie scanner compulsory?
No, you can get groped instead.
Is the groping compulsory?
No, you can go through the nudie scanner instead.
What’s great about capitalism is it offers a range of choices as far as how government agents assess and then laugh at your tiny little penis.
Speaking of tiny little penis, I miss suck.com. Also, too, indeed.
Sadly, Non! does not have a president, as this would violate their anarcho-syndicalist principles.
~
Hey! Old woman!
This is a little unfair, Tintin. He’s not addressing the stories, but the asshats who believe them. That much is clear.
I think you’re a little off the outside corner with this fasatball.
The idea of people getting depressed about something that’s going to happen billions of years from now is bumming me out. I’m going back to bed.
The idea of people getting depressed about something that’s going to happen billions of years from now is bumming me out.
Okay, try this: Sarah Palin, POTUS.
Or do what I did: read Taibbi’s Griftopia. I had to run back to Spengler’s Rise Again to get some respite from the horror.
I had to run back to Spengler’s Rise Again¹ to get some respite from the horror.
¹VE-DR
You takes your respite where and when you can get it, yes?
You takes your respite where and when you can get it, yes?
Spit and respite, is my motto.
Anybody have a job for me?
Not *that* kind of job, actor.
Blogger Bob. Any relation to Baghdad Bob?
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ed1ec4d431/baghdad-bob-from-drizzle
Wow, Tumblr’s been down for a day!
I went from BWI to Madrid and back last week. Lessee, going thru Security at BWI, I forgot to take the quart baggie of toiletries out of my carry on. Nothing happened. No grope, no rapescan, nothing. Nor at Philly.
Coming back, I forgot to take out the baggie AND my laptop (I was hungover from my last night in Madrid). No rapescan, no grope, heck, they didn’t even stamp my passport at Immigration Control in Madrid (I got a stamp on the inbound, so, um, I guess the Spanish Gummint doesn’t know I’ve left?).
Anywhoo, back at Customs and Immigration in Philly…5 minute wait in line, 30 seconds at Immigration, only carry on, so Customs was, um, 3 seconds to hand in the landing card/customs form. They make you recheck/x-ray everything in Philly before your connecting flight, but there was no rapescan and no groping of anyone, even the guy behind me with the hardware store in his hip (so he said).
Show’s ta go ya…ya gotta grope a Grandma in Kansas City so I can be a fuckup in Philly, but maybe I just have an honest face?
T&U: Go create a meme about cankles
Not *that* kind of job, actor.
Well, you blew that interview…
Show’s ta go ya…ya gotta grope a Grandma in Kansas City so I can be a fuckup in Philly, but maybe I just have an honest face?
I wonder if the Grandma resembled some gangster.
T&U: Go create a meme about cankles
Will I get paid for it?
T&U: Go create a meme about cankles
“Meme meme cankle, u phar sin”
Will I get paid for it?
I think there are teabagger think-tanks looking for pieces on exactly this issue. You know, for their Hoveround constituency.
teabagger think-tanks
Does not compute.
Tanks are about all teabaggers think about.
WOLVERINES!!!!!!
For every meme you make, I will -not- give a dollar to National Review Online. How does that sound?
Every meme you make,
Every buck you take
Every thong you break,
Every taint you bake,
I’ll be cankling you…
Every meme you make
Every scream you fake
Every for you sake, every pie you bake
I’ll be bagging you
I also flew out and back in through BWI this Thanksgiving, and also didn’t have a shred of trouble at that airport. Come to think of it, I didn’t even see a rapescanner.
I always liked BWI (better than the other two in the area), and it seems I’ve got more reason now.
Oh can’t you see?
All your base belong to us
How my poor thing aches
With every meme you make?
teabagger think-tanks
Around these parts they’re called septic tanks.
The original meme?
Hey! Old woman!
MAN!
I’m 37!
Off-topic, but I have ranted.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ben-tripp/wikileaks-and-the-new-fou_b_792212.html
Thank you.
“Oh can’t you see?
All your base belong to us
How my poor thing aches
With every meme you make?”
Why is that so goddamn funny?
example
example
Oh, I laffed. Thank you.
Newly released war documents:
Mechanical Dragons with flames shooting out of cyborg-gorilla cocks
example
So you’re saying T&U is half the man K-Lo is?
Why is that so goddamn funny?
I told you to take the blue pill…
So you’re saying T&U is half the man K-Lo is?
Hey!
I think?
Hey!
What? I didn’t say it!
So you’re saying T&U is half the man K-Lo is?
Need more info on K-Lo’s physio regime
Need more info on K-Lo’s physio regime
8 oz curls, mostly.
That’s an excellent rant there Spengler. Well done.
“Have I mentioned I’m totes looking forward to going through airport security with my cankle?”
Not to be a party POOPer but I’ve got more hardware in my ankle than you do plus there’s the metal in my shoulder not to mention the staples and wire holding my chest together and I rarely have any fun that way.
“Need more info on K-Lo’s physio regime
8 oz curls, mostly.”
But she lifts them to her mouth in handfuls – the whole cheese curls bag remains on the desk.
And the Lord said, “Noah, foster tourism….build me a park… with an ark… using state money, of course. I shall provide in mysterious ways, but mostly through a combination of state sales taxes and licenses and fees.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/06/us/06ark.html
Not to be a party POOPer but I’ve got more hardware in my ankle than you do plus there’s the metal in my shoulder not to mention the staples and wire holding my chest together and I rarely have any fun that way.
Dude, is there any part of you that is still made of human flesh?
I need to ask my friend with the metal face how it goes for her…
Not to be a party POOPer but I’ve got more hardware in my ankle than you do plus there’s the metal in my shoulder not to mention the staples and wire holding my chest together and I rarely have any fun that way.
Nobody has more hardware than me. My husband used to encourage security to grope me.
I need to ask my friend with the metal face how it goes for her…
Gee, you’re harsh on little girls with teeth braces!
My mother’s hip reliably sets off the alarm. They don’t usually bother her too much but she is 91 after all.
From Bilo’s link
Of course, they treat the Bible much like they treat the Constitution. Only the parts they agree with are valid.
My significant other has a cobalt and titanium hip and an 18″ stainless steel rod holding her back together with various nutz und boltz. She’s really sick of getting the new pat down and after watching it over the holiday weekend I can see why. It is purely offensive (the woman TSAgent at LaGuardia went hard enough into her crotch to lift her up on tip-toe). She far prefers the nudie scanner. As long as I’m with her I can smuggle anything I want they never look at me any more. Of course 30 years of smuggling practice helps.
Okay, okay! I’ll stop complaining about my cankle!
I need to ask my friend with the metal face how it goes for her…
So nasty that it’s probably somewhat of a travesty.
I have brass balls, a silver tongue, a cast-iron stomach, a tin ear, nerves of steel, a heart of gold, a lead foot, unalloyed gall, steely eyes and an overall iron constitution, but I’ve never been groped. What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing wrong?
Have you tried batting your eyes flirtatiously?
“The park will include a 100-foot Tower of Babel, a first-century Middle Eastern village and a journey through the Old Testament, with special effects depicting Moses, the 10 plagues and the parting of the Red Sea”
Stonings? If there are stonings, I might go.
Obviously all that ice in your veins is throwing off the metal detector.
What am I doing wrong?
Not enough yttrium.
What am I doing wrong?
Try a watch with a painted radium dial.
Not enough yttrium.
I’ve been reading “Against the Day”. Pynchon would recommend more tellurium.
I have brass balls, a silver tongue, a cast-iron stomach, a tin ear, nerves of steel, a heart of gold, a lead foot, unalloyed gall, steely eyes and an overall iron constitution,
You’re so dreamy.
New Dragon weapons
As an only partly mechanical Dragon(-King), let me just say that the new drugs they have to control flames shooting out your cock (thanks actor’s mom!) are wonderful.
Also, Gulliver is imaginary and there is no such place as Lilliput.
But Erehwon is totally a real place.
As opposed to Erewhon?
Or Flatland?
FLATAND ISREAL
FLATLAND too.
In FLATLAND, the B-cup woman is Queen.
New Dragon weapons
I dunno, I’m partial to the old Dragon Weapons.
In the land of the blind the one eyed man is a freak.
FLATAND ISREAL
So, you want Sasquatch to stomp Israel flat, resulting in a flattened Israel?
Typical Liberal Hater.
In the Lanthanides, Ytterbium is the King (Atomic Number-wise).
So wise Ytterbium is Atomic Number wise, but not street wise.
Stonings? If there are stonings, I might go.
that word…I do not think it means what you think it means.
In FLATLAND, the B-cup woman is Queen.
NONSENSE!
You heretic! In Flatland, women are ALL isoceles triangles! Only SPHERES rule!
women are ALL isoceles triangles
Errrr, no, they’re straight lines, sorry…
In the country of the eunuch, the one-nutted man is king.
If there are stonings, I might go.
Everyday, twenty past four.
Not to be a party POOPer but I’ve got more hardware in my ankle than you do plus there’s the metal in my shoulder not to mention the staples and wire holding my chest together and I rarely have any fun that way.
My MRI machine. Let me show you.
In the land of Liberal Fascism, the white man is the Jew.
Ytterbium is the Nobelium of Lanthanides.
In the country of the eunuch, the one-nutted man is king.
You’re flirting with a “Godwin” violation here!
New isotopes:
Antebellium – a particularly toxic radioactive substance that causes matter to revert to pre-Civil War mentality.
In the land, where I was born, there lived a man, who sailed the seas
And he told, us of his life, in the land of, created memes.
We all live in UR BASE KILLING UR MANS, in UR BASE KILLING UR MANS, in UR BASE KILLING UR MANS.
Ugh. Memefail. I meant KILLING UR D00DZ.
Ugh. Memefail. I meant KILLING UR D00DZ.
You are not aware of all internet traditions.
What am I doing wrong?
Everyone thinks you’re a luggage cart.
I meant KILLING UR D00DZ.
That particular intertoobz tradition has meaning for bass players.
“I”m in your bass killing your swing.”
“I’m in your bass killing your harmonies.”
“I’m in your bass killing your take-home.”
Etc. Also. Too.
“Thread Bear” wins for nym of the day
I though it was (or at least I get the most chuckles out of ) IN UR BASE PWNING UR N00bz
Wow. I should make a special dinner tonight. It’s the 30th anniversary of Jim Bakker porking Jessica Hahn in that motel room.
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/jim-bakker-is-indicted-on-federal-charges
I should make a special dinner tonight. It’s the 30th anniversary of Jim Bakker porking Jessica Hahn in that motel room.
Sweaty pork? What goes with sweaty pork, besides sultry whore?
Pigs in a blanket?
KILLIN UR D00DZ.
Pigs in a blanket?
Many, many lulz…
What goes with sweaty pork, besides sultry whore?
Relieved chicken?
KILLIN UR D00DZ
Killin me softly wif hiz D00DZ
Killin me softly
Wif hiz D00DZ
Pigs in a blanket?
That’s weird, I just used that in:re a bacon nativity scene. The singularity approacheth.
I just used that in:re a bacon nativity scene
I’m more tired than I thought. I read that as “bacon nudity”
Bacon nativity scene:
http://jezebel.com/5707179/bacon-nativity-scene-definitely-not-kosher
I just used that in:re a bacon nativity scene
Oh come all ye faithful,
Porkful and five spic’d
Oh coem ye, oh come ye
To Barbecue
Jeez, guitarist, where are you finding your bacon nativity scenes? I tried to check it out and my cybernannies here at work scolded me thusly:
Now I’m dying of curiousity! (Of course, for the longest time the same cybernannies were convinced that Firedoglake was a porn site…)
I’d apologize to William Blake, but symmetry and eye DO NOT RHYME.
Tyger Tyger burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could Respect My Authoritah.
In what distant .bins and drives
Burnt the rips of thine files?
On what feeds dare he leech gigs?
What the F is in his .sig?
And what camper that he art?
Sniper rifle through the heart.
And when thy lag drop to pings low,
For a bio-break you go.
Jamie Hammer! I will click!
OMG! Another tRick.
I just want to see some b00bs,
Not Rick Astley on the tubes.
When the stars through down their spears
With tweets liek LOL WTF spelenigs kweer
Did you smile and click to follow?
No, your admiration’s hollow.
Tyger Tyger burning bright
Perhaps a newsletter or website?
Blocked Reason:
Category: Mature Content, Sexual Advice
Your IT department must be staffed by weird fetishists!
Category: Mature Content, Sexual Advice
You didn’t want to see what the Vienna Sausages were doing to that poor goat sausage…
Category: Mature Content, Sexual Advice
Heh heh. Pork.
Category: Mature Content, Sexual Advice
There’s an editor there who used to post under the nym “Slut Machine.”
I think that tells you all you need to know.
B4, We don’t call it the Incredibly Stupid department for no reason at all… From time to time they’ve blocked The American Academy of Otolaryngology, Head and Neck Surgery (we’re an ENT practice), the AMA (docs’ office), the New York Times, The Encyclopedia Britannica, Disney (some of the folks here have kids and worship Teh Mickey), Microsoft Online (trying to get images for an office sign), and others too numerous to recall. It’s a constant source of amazement.
“Category: Mature Content, Sexual Advice”
Who, besides me, doesn’t think of hot, wet, canine sex when visiting that site? I mean, its right there in the name: fire, dog, lake.
Alternate bacon link:
http://www.theluxuryspot.com/2010/12/02/bacon-for-jesus/
Anybody who has a favorite Tom & Jerry cartoon probably hasn’t written anything worth reading.
I am pro-pork, but that is repulsive.
Also, bacon is becoming a hipster food and it’s pissing me off.
Alternate bacon link:
At the link she wrote:
As a newly inaugurated carnivore (I’m still down wit tofu. Don’t front), I have been slowly honing my skills in the meat department.
My first reaction was “Heh, indeedy” .
My second was that, since she lives in Brooklyn, she should try to spleen sandwich at Ferdinando’s.
What ham is this,
Who laid to rest
In sausage crib a sleeping?
Whom broilers greet
With radiant heat
Tasty meat a crisping.
Subby, Thanks for trying, however:
Tomorrow I’ll probably be able to download goatse, but today they seem to have their knickers in a particularly tight knot.
(And FYWP, I’m not posting any more quickly than I have in the past. Eff off…)
I am pro-pork…
Heh heh. Don’t forget to turn on your webcam.
What ham is this,
Who laid to rest
In sausage crib a sleeping?
Whom broilers greet
With radiant heat
Tasty meat a crisping.
Crisp, crisp is pork the lord,
A greasy bit is your reward.
Taste, taste don’t burn your tongue,
The dripping flesh so tasty.
Also, bacon is becoming a hipster food and it’s pissing me off.
What did hipsters eat before? Also, do they enjoy bacon in “ironic” fashion?
Thank God the hipsters haven’t discovered the spleen sandwich, even though it can be found practically on their doorstep.
…pork the lord…
Heee heeee!
On the first day of bacon, my true love gave to me, A slab of pork bell-eeee
On the second day of bacon, my true love gave to me, two pancetta
And a A slab of pork bell-eeee
On the third day of bacon, my true love gave to me, three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a A slab of pork bell-eeee
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the sixth day of bacon, my true love gave to me six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the seventh day of bacon, my true love gave to me
Seven guanicale
six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the eighth day of bacon, my true love gave to me
Eight gammon bacon
Seven guanicale
six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the ninth day of bacon, my true love gave to me
Nine Candian slices
Eight gammon bacon
Seven guanicale
six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the tenth day of bacon, my true love gave to me
Ten salted hamhocks
Nine Candian slices
Eight gammon bacon
Seven guanicale
six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the eleventh day of bacon, my true love gave to me
Eleven sizzling rashers,
Ten salted hamhocks
Nine Candian slices
Eight gammon bacon
Seven guanicale
six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a slab of pork bell-eeee
On the twelfth day of bacon, my true love gave to me
Twelve Peameal bacon,
Eleven sizzling rashers,
Ten salted hamhocks
Nine Candian slices
Eight gammon bacon
Seven guanicale
six cottage bacon
FIVE WILTSHIRE CURED!
four shanks of fat back,
three German bacho,
two pancetta
And a thrombosis coronareeeeeeeeeeeee
What did hipsters eat before?
Cocaine.
Also, do they enjoy bacon in “ironic” fashion?
Yes. Or a sort of “Look at meeeee! I’m unhealthy!” way.
Thank God the hipsters haven’t discovered the spleen sandwich, even though it can be found practically on their doorstep.
I’m shocked the Voice foodie hasn’t pronounced this the next big thing. He ruined this really nice Korean-Cajun place in Greenpoint.
What did hipsters eat before?
Cocaine.
UR DOIN IT RONG!
*sniff*
BLASPHEMY.
I’m shocked the Voice foodie hasn’t pronounced this the next big thing.
Sietsema? He’s moved on to other offal- he wrote about vastedda years ago. Ferdinando’s has been open for almost a century- it’ll still be open long after the current culinary trends have moved on.
Anybody who has a favorite Tom & Jerry cartoon probably hasn’t written anything worth reading.
BLASPHEMY.
What if it’s slash fic?
UR DOIN IT RONG!
Nobody has ever accused hipsters of being smart.
Korean-Cajun? Wow, that’s a different fusion concept.
I like the new Japanese-Jewish bistro that just opened.
It’s called “Susumi”
ba-doomp-tish!
Sietsema?
I thought it was De Gregorio, but he’ll do.
Korean-Cajun? Wow, that’s a different fusion concept.
The owner is Korean. She hired a chef out of Norleans after Katrina.
He’s since left, since the fucking Village Voice talked the damned place up to the heavens and he got a head about himself, and now it’s almost straight up Korean-Bland fusion.
It’s called “Susumi”
Not Jewish American Raisu?
Korean-Cajun actually sounds like a good match to me, unlike a lot of other concepts.
Too bad the Cajun side isn’t working out.
actor212 said,</i.
Was that commissioned or did you write it on speck?
Korean-Cajun actually sounds like a good match to me, unlike a lot of other concepts
The bibimbop was to die for.
Was that commissioned or did you write it on speck?
Totally threw it out there. I needed a little help with the varieties of bacon, tho.
Was that commissioned or did you write it on speck?
LAWL!!!
What did hipsters eat before?
Cocaine.
One would think that they’d move on to meth- the combination of a blistering high with heartland “authenticity” would seem to be a winning combo for them.
Down here where pork is king we have excesses the hipsters haven’t found yet, frinstance, bone in bacon, bacon made from the strip above the traditional belly strip with the tiny ends of the ribs in it. Best baked not fried and meatier than traditional bacon (closer to the Irish cut) it has been a hit in the bacon obsessed part of the musician’s world that I live in.
I saw a clip one time from some foodie-show featuring a diner (in the South, natch) that offered “Chicken-Fried Bacon”. As an appetizer, mind you: Thick-cut bacon strips, dredged in flour and deep-fried, served with country gravy on the side for dipping. I thought, man, now THERE’S a dish for people who have completely given up. Ought to be served with a waiver, or maybe a defibrillator. Then I thought, God help me, that looks fuckin’ delicious!
guitarist manqué said
Meh. It’s only great when you start with serious pork.
One would think that they’d move on to meth- the combination of a blistering high with heartland “authenticity” would seem to be a winning combo for them.
Judging by the ones we have around here (oh yes, we have hipsters–where do you think they come from?), meth chic is a thing, so actually *using* meth can’t be far behind.
Rotten teeth are so fucking hip.
Eh? This makes me sad. I’m glad I’m terrifically uncool and remain blissfully unaware of such things.
“meth chic”?
Can’t wait for the Calvin Klein bilboards with that theme
serious pork
As opposed to the amusing little pork from the Napa Valley?
Can’t be any creepier than these ACTUAL Calvin Klein ads.
Meth chic isn’t really a thing. It’s just that hipsters look like they’re gotten their clothes out of dumpsters and never bathe.
It’s just that hipsters look like they’re gotten their clothes out of dumpsters and never bathe.
How does that differ from any generation of teenagers?
How does that differ from any generation of teenagers?
We’re talking about people only a little younger than me. Or my age.
PJ: This is neighborhood pork, not some Smithfield factory stuff. Much leaner than the supermarket stuff. So take your ‘meh’ and, you know… I like buying my pork from my neighbors.
PJ: This is neighborhood pork, not some Smithfield factory stuff. Much leaner than the supermarket stuff.
IME, local/heritage pork is usually fattier than the supermarket stuff (ewickgrosshumanfleshlikeEW). Which is one reason why it’s so much tastier.
I like buying my pork from my neighbors.
I like porking my neighbors, too, but I don’t have to buy, we barter.
I don’t have to buy pork; it’s often offered to me for free.
I don’t have to buy pork; it’s often offered to me for free.
Exhibit A: Fetusslayer….
I don’t have to buy pork; it’s often offered to me for free.
Rub it in, why don’t you?
Er…….
*will not feel sorry for T&U, as I feel she gets many offers herself, cankle aside*
*nods to actor*
I like the new Japanese-Jewish bistro that just opened.
Athens GA used to have a Chinese-Jewish deli called Chow Goldstein’s.
bone in bacon
I get this type of thing from a Ukrainian deli/butcher shop which makes the best damn kielbasa going (even a raw, unsmoked version). I also get my kishka from them, being a fan of all sorts of blood-based charcuterie.
Athens GA used to have a Chinese-Jewish deli called Chow Goldstein’s.
There was a kosher Chinese restaurant in the flatlands of Brooklyn named Shang Chai.
Oh, and I was joking, I didn’t think of using benzene as an aftershave. But yeah, people used to use it for that, I learned, at the font of all knawledge.
My old timer chemistry professor told me that in the 1950’s they washed down lab benches with benzene when he was in school and starting out in his career. So chemists themselves know as early as the 1960’s that it was bad (they stopped using it then).
The chemical industry it self is not run by chemists though, it is run by MBA’s taught the finest Chicago School economics by “top” business schools. This also why lead remained in paint and gasoline even though it was determined to be poisonous in low background quantities back in the 1920’s, and why many other common substances continue to be used in spite their being dangerous. I still can’t believe some of the stuff people put on their lawns and then lets kinds and pets go play on. But hey, you have to prove its hazardous, the chem companies don’t have to prove they are safe, so hahahahaha!
still can’t believe some of the stuff people put on their lawns and then lets kinds and pets go play on. But hey, you have to prove its hazardous, the chem companies don’t have to prove they are safe, so hahahahaha!
You and I, we made no suicide pact, we didn’t want to die,
But we watched the wall, little darling, while the chemical trucks rolled by.
This desperate imitation, now, of innocence
Those last few days at Jonestown ain’t got nothing on this
I still can’t believe some of the stuff people put on their lawns and then lets kinds and pets go play on.
Hell, I can’t believe the stuff that’s put in our food, even stuff that’s been declared unsafe in Europe and Canada.
Hell, I can’t believe the stuff that’s put in our food, even stuff that’s been declared unsafe in Europe and Canada.
But the ammonia really brings out the flavor of the E. coli in the slime-laden burgers.
LEAFS SUCK used to have a Chinese-Jewish place called Ginsberg and Wong. The food wasn’t fantastic or anything, but it was a really interesting restaurant.
The Southland’s entry.
vacuumslayer said,
December 6, 2010 at 14:57
“Also, kudos to the proud red dwarf: you brought the lulz. Oh yes.”
gocart waves to crowd and then returns to pondering his miserable existence.
But the ammonia really brings out the flavor of the E. coli in the slime-laden burgers.
Oh yes. This is why I’m never going to eat another hamburger again unless I watch the meat being ground, and maybe not even then.
POOP.
Hmm.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/jenkem.asp
Pupienus Maximus said,
December 7, 2010 at 2:41
POOP.
Holy Shite!
~
So pupienus’ linked article was a load of shit.
Snopes is just a buncha buzz killers.
~
It’s probably more likely that the guy was hoping two girls with a cup would knock.
But what will coprophiles get high on now? Snopes ruins everything.
Pee CP.
Haw haw:
http://www.theawl.com/2010/12/sarah-palin-the-tv-star-exposes-sarah-palin-the-fake-hunter
omfg, pathetic
“I bet the producers of that show knocked that messed with the scope to make it more dramatic,”
“If I had to guess, it’d be someone on the set messed with her scope with promises of wealth to make her look stupid.”
Hee hee, see they had to pay through the nose because making her look dumb is SO HARD TO DO.
Your daily stupid in three part hormony.
http://scienceblogs.com/dispatches/2010/12/dumbass_quote_of_the_day_233.php
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/washington-update.htm
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=235421
“Apathy is our greatest enemy. I drive down the freeway with my bumper stickers; a big Glenn Beck one, “FoxNews: Truth,” “Clone Reagan” and “Marco 2010.” (I need to get a “Palin 2012″ one.) I don’t get any honks, thumbs up, or even middle fingers! Not one. That is scary.”
I’ll flip you the bird Victoria.
Scary. No way would I let that woman anywhere near me with a firearm. Reminded me of the folks who used to come up to Elk County from Pittsburgh or Philly for buck season.
One time at the Sportsmen’s Club I was sighting in my .308 the day before deer season and there was some guy at the next table who was having some kind of difficulties. After a while he came over and sheepishly asked me if I would load his gun for him. Yeah, turns out he bought the gun in Philly, the store clerk loaded the magazine and he drove the four hours to St. Marys with a fucking loaded rifle in his back seat. Sadly, I broke the gun in attempting to load it for him.
Dadgum, three hunert ‘n four commints. I hate being at the end of the line. I never get to be first. By the way, fyi, I know the dude in the pitcher. He lives two blocks over, in the brown colored house. He drives a renovated Dodge Dart. Looks pretty good too, even without the hubcaps. That Mac, it ain’t his. It was give to him by the service. He originally wanted a Dell, ’cause that’s his son’s name. Dell. Like the computer. Pretty smart, huh? Judy (that’s his wife) said she had to argue for three weeks to get him to change his mind from naming Dell Hewlett. She said Bob wanted to give Dell a head start. They have a little girl too, but they give her a ordinary name, Joan, but made her middle name Uvarc, like the legend in Europe. Bob ain’t so bad once you get to know him. He’s got, like, real hairy arms and you can tell he likes to show them off. He said it makes him more forceful and serious looking.
Thanks for the link Sub. I will not watch that show because her voice reminds me of a squeaky hinge but I have been seeing the commercials for the great caribou shoot all week. I figured she was a phony, but I am a little surprised she would let herself be exposed in a way that real hunters could see through in a heartbeat.
Victoria: “Although, I do question the “means” Franken used to win his seat. ”
Getting more votes? Yeah, you guys HATE that.
Damn you, Gocart, always tracking grim reality in here on your shoes! And I just cleaned these floors! With benzene!
care,share,bear
We set sailing
Floating down the love canal
We set sailing
Drifting down the love canal
We seem strange
Our bodies are breaking down
We are breeding
Our children look like monsters
We are breeding
Not to children but to monsters
We feel pain
Poison is killing our every cells
We are bitter
Poison is killing our very cells
We are dying
Our common grave is the love canal
We are dying
Our common grave is the love canal
For an unpleasant experience*, listen to the live version at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnFVItNSwJM
* Unless you like this sort of stuff.
Sasquatch POOP?
http://www.ghosttheory.com/2010/12/06/swamp-loggers-stumble-upon-bigfoot-nest
Josh St. Lawrence
Josh St. Lawrence
Josh St. Lawrence
Aaaand Subby appears to have kilt the thread, or at least mortally wount it
At least he didn’t post a goatse gif.
~
I’M NOT JUST SOME GOATSE-POSTING GUY!
That’s not what the kids are saying…
~
I’d love to pollute her love canal, ifyouknowwhatImean
What’s that? You jammed a post up Goatse guy? Did he like it?
VPCBR
Can we get a TLC Very Special Special, in which there is a heartwarming and/or blood-curdling episode of Sarah and Dick: The Hunting? How many shots? Does either of them hit anything? Do they blast each other and/or themselves into YouTube immortality? If there has to be a lawyer in the scene, could it be John Yoo?
No, John YOU.
Did he
likefeel it?Or, Did he, like, feel it?
Wikileaks: When The Rubber Hits The Road.
(I should be a headline writer)
http://www.thenation.com/blog/156847/blogging-wikileaks-monday-day-9-return-here-often-updates
4:00 NYT in final paragraph here clearly lays out sex charges against Assange as involving condom mis-use.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/07/world/europe/07assange.html?_r=1
“The charges involve sexual encounters that the women say began as consensual but became nonconsensual after Mr. Assange was no longer using a condom. Mr. Assange has denied any wrongdoing and suggested that the charges were trumped up in retaliation for his WikiLeaks work, though there is no public evidence to suggest a connection. “
…though there is no public evidence to suggest a connection.
Except for Interpol making condom misuse a capital crime.
~
Yeah, turns out he bought the gun in Philly, the store clerk loaded the magazine and he drove the four hours to St. Marys with a fucking loaded rifle in his back seat.
In my neck of the Catskills, we called that “thinning the herd”. Sure beat deer hunting.
This story fails. It’s boring* and there’s not enough hot gay sex. But then I find this to be a major flaw in most stories.
*I am, of course, kidding.
there’s not enough hot gay sex
Toots, what part of “Sadly, I broke the gun in attempting to load it for him” isn’t about hot gay sex?
Haw haw:
http://www.theawl.com/2010/12/sarah-palin-the-tv-star-exposes-sarah-palin-the-fake-hunter
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Jesus, I’m better with a fucking firearm than that fucking phony.
I know, I know…how could I have missed that?
Jesus, I’m better with a fucking firearm than that fucking phony.
To their credit, an awful lot of huntin’ rednecks took her to task, even on Hannity’s board, for her antics.
And yet, there was still an element in complete denial, even blaming liberal stage crew members for sabotaging her gun.
THEY TOTALLY SABOTAGED IT!!!! SHUT UP, ACTOR!
THEY TOTALLY SABOTAGED IT!!!! SHUT UP, ACTOR!
Probably put stupid pills in her coffee, too, right?
To their credit, an awful lot of huntin’ rednecks took her to task, even on Hannity’s board, for her antics.
I saw. Thank God. It’s pretty apparent she hasn’t handled guns much, if at all, and certainly doesn’t know how to handle them properly. Fucking ridiculous.
It’s pretty apparent she hasn’t handled guns much, if at all, and certainly doesn’t know how to handle them properly.
Well, she has four kids, so she must have some facility with them.
And yet, there was still an element in complete denial, even blaming liberal stage crew members for sabotaging her gun.
And somebody who knew what the fuck she was doing could have and would have fixed the gun. And, you know, not let people she didn’t absolutely trust handle them.
And somebody who knew what the fuck she was doing could have and would have fixed the gun.
The story is, her dad slipped while walking (he was using the gun as a walking stick!), and that twisted the sight out of alignment.
I’ve never fired a gun in earnest except when it was handed to me by a state trooper or other LEO. Or rather, laid down on the shelf at the range for me, but even I know enough to check the sight.