They’re gonna need a bigger toilet.

I think he’s using the Mad Libs version of the Constitution.

More constitutional scholarship: it all depends on what the meaning of “the” is.

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/254224/does-first-amendment-mean-what-it-says-regarding-speech-andrew-c-mccarthy

I wish the lame duck session actually would be effective enough to warrant this guy’s panic. They couldn’t even ram extended unemployment benefits and higher taxes on the rich down the Republicans’ throats.

It’s almost funny how legislators do something only when they have nothing on the line. One could argue (from the copious evidence presented by today’s Moron) that lame-duck sessions are the only time any legislation gets passed.

This year, the lame-duck session will likely take up the DREAM Act, which would institute a major change in immigration policy, and a new nuclear arms treaty with an erstwhile democracy in Russia. The Senate already passed the so-called “Food Safety Modernization Act.”

Well, this is a new way to be a giant fucking child. They didn’t call for Bush’s inauguration eleven minutes after Gore conceded.

Way back in 1932 (I just learned on the Internet), Congress passed the 20th Amendment

Interestingly, the wikipedia article says the original Constitution mandated lame duck sessions by requiring Congress to meet in December even when there’d just been an election. OH NOES ORIGINAL INTENT Y’ALL.

First Amendment: establishes Christianity as the official religion.

Second Amendment: provides for the deregulation of militias so they can bomb federal buildings.

Fourth Amendment: allows warrantless wiretapping.

Sixth and Seventh Amendment: provides for trial by military jury for enemies of the state.

Eighth Amendment: clarifies that waterboarding and torture are neither cruel nor unusual.

Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth, Sixteenth and Twenty-First Amendments = liberal activism, which is unconstitutional.

To be fair, his piece of POOP was based entirely on Ackerman’s WaPoop article. By “fair” I mean he misused Ackerman’s reasonable and historically accurate argument in his plagiaristic POOP while also misattributed the quotation, and eliding the sensible call to action inthe original all in favor of POOP. So there’s that.

A sandwich AND a toilet?

Tintin!

Grammar fails are blamed on iPhone.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

it’s always a source of amusement how the constitution means whatever they want it to mean, except the Second Amendment. Isn’t that, you know, judicial activism???

Grammar fails are blamed on iPhone.

I didn’t see any, but my grammar-fu is weak today.

With the shorter and SOIFF’s explanation, I now can beat any Delaware wannabe constitutional expert.

It’s almost funny how legislators do something only when they have nothing on the line. One could argue (from the copious evidence presented by today’s Moron) that lame-duck sessions are the only time any legislation gets passed.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeea, except this Congress has been uberbusy…

”
Grammar fails are blamed on iPhone.”

Yes, even when I’m not on my iPhone.

it’s always a source of amusement how the constitution means whatever they want it to mean, except the Second Amendment.

They’re more than a little wishful about the 2nd, too.

it’s always a source of amusement how the constitution means whatever they want it to mean, except the Second Amendment. Isn’t that, you know, judicial activism???

No, the Second Amendment means whatever they want too.

They don’t believe in well-regulated militias, and I doubt if any of them would oppose an act to disarm every Muslim in America (or whatever scapegoat they have at the moment) if it ever came to a vote.

Right on, XG.

U.S Army soldiers on acid.
1958, Maryland
See vid at bottom.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2010/12/01/131724898/lsd-testing

Or,
“We Were Soldiers Once, and Groovy”

Or,
“The Men Who Stare At Their Hands.”

Way back in 1932 (I just learned on the Internet), Congress passed the 20th Amendment

Those bums in congress! Always changing the constitution whenever they feel like it! The 20th Amendment is the most bullshit one since the 2,657th Amendment declaring it illegal to call fried potatoes anything other than freedom fries. It’s too bad we don’t have a system where some huge majority of state legislatures also needed to sign off on changes to the Constitution.

Harsanyi’s 9th grade Civics teacher, Mr. Wikipedia, must be so ashamed of him.

From the “depends on the meaning of the” link:

These include the lewd and obscene, the profane, the libelous, and the insulting or “fighting” words — those which by their very utterance inflict injury or tend to incite an immediate breach of the peace. It has been well observed that such utterances are no essential part of any exposition of ideas, and are of such slight social value as a step to truth that any benefit that may be derived from them is clearly outweighed by the social interest in order and morality.

So wait, he’s arguing that racial slurs are un-Constitutional? “utterances are no essential part of any exposition of ideas, and are of such slight social value as a step to truth that any benefit that may be derived from them is clearly outweighed by the social interest in order and morality” sure sounds like it.

Look, all I’m saying is that the 275.5 amendment legislating caffeinated marshmallows free for wingnut keyboard vandals, is wrong.

Weird how I don’t remember the Right thinking the same thing about the Clinton impeachment even after the Rethugs were thumped.

I suppose David favours the US moving to a parliamentary system where outgoing legislatures are seriously curtailed in what they may do and there are no fixed terms of office?

I join with all Americans who dream of a day when Washington is broken enough to see a Congress rigged to prevent any more “progress.”

I got mine, fuck all you!

I’m sure he wrote a similar column after the 2008 election.

Harsanyi’s 9th grade Civics teacher, Mr. Wikipedia, must be so ashamed of him.

In all fairness to Mr. Wikipedia, after three years of him taking the same class I’d be fed up too.

So have any of the usual suspects lost their shit over the fact that Google has an objectively pro-Civil Rights Act logo up today?

From the “depends on the meaning of the” link:

Of course, he’s describing Rush and Beck to a “T” here.

I join with all Americans who dream of a day when Washington is broken enough to see a Congress rigged to prevent any more “progress.”

Why don’t you just call for the repeal of all laws ever enacted, David? Why even have a Congref*?

* I can’t be arsed to look up the unicode.

I join with all Americans who dream of a day when Washington is broken enough to see a Congress rigged to prevent any more “progress.”

So … he dreams of a day when our government* so completely collapses that our nation never makes any progress and is perpetually stuck in 2010, even when it’s 2050 or 2100?

These fuckers aren’t part of a political party or an ideology.

They’re a goddamn cult hellbent on destroying everyone who doesn’t agree with them.

I just … we’re fucked, aren’t we? Totes. Fucked.

Harsanyi’s dream of broken government nicely echoes the GOP Senate hostage note.

The rest of that paragraph is interesting too:

But the trouble with lame-duck sessions happens to be the opposite. It is one thing to be abused by democracy and quite another to be abused by a bunch of rejected, disgruntled and disconnected politicians

Even in this “biggest political shift EVAR in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE”. This total refudiation of the Democrat Party and a literally uprising against the evils of Nancy Pelosi…
The incumbency rate was still high. 37 retirees, 5 reps from special elections and 4 defeated in primaries and one uncalled race leaves 388 seats. Of that, 54 bums were thrown out for an incumbency rate of 86%. Man, that lame-duck Congress is totes refudiated TO THE MAX.

“Show me on this doll where Democracy touched you. “

I got mine, fuck all you!

I believe we settled on the more commonly accepted forms

I got mine, fuck all’a youse [guys]!

I got mine, fuck all yunz [yinz]!

I got mine, fuck all y’all!

Please be mindful of these stylistic conventions going forward.

Even in this “biggest political shift EVAR in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE”. This total refudiation of the Democrat Party and a literally uprising against the evils of Nancy Pelosi…

Right on! Now that control of the House has swung to the GOP, all will be made right for true Americans. This enormous power shift is a total reputation of any “progress” made by anyone. This “progress” by the progressives must be stopped. All true Americans want a regressive America!

What the hell are these people so pathologically afraid of that they’d rather stop everything than have somebody somewhere get something done that actually might do some good?

Please be mindful of these stylistic conventions going forward backward.

Slightly modified to reflect neocon philoscopy.

I failed tag in third grade p. e.

I join with all Americans who dream of a day when Washington is broken enough to see a Congress rigged to prevent any more “progress.”

You know, of all the things that happened to our politics in 1980 (or whenever you want to trace the movement conservative victory to), that’s probably what stands out the most to me.

The Republican Party dominance, the economic royalism, the racism, we’ve seen it all before. What we haven’t seen is a leadership that wants to turn the clock back rather than forward, that considers its forefathers’ achievements something to sneer at rather than respect, and tear down rather than build on. (And God forbid they actually come up with any accomplishments of their own).

In other words, it’s the first time I can think of in history where we’re really actually being run by conservatives, rather than people who believe in building a more perfect union.

Granted, change of control of the House is a big deal (but only when it changes into GOP hands – and also when we aren’t remembering about the 60 votes in the Senate to do anything part) – but it is not like all the folks voting on shit in the House are sore losers bent on destroying America. That’s what lie-beral bloggers are for.

Incidentally, on the topic of the Refudiation of Ebil Pelosi:

Pollsters tell us that an increasingly cynical electorate, which viewed government as overreaching, was responsible for the dramatic political reversal in November.

The Economy Had Nothing To Do with It.

“Show me on this doll where Democracy touched you. “

As the kids (GET OFFA MAH LAWN) say, L.O.L.

Now that control of the House has swung to the GOP, all will be made right for true Americans.

I really can’t feel sorry for anyone in the “99er No Vote” movement. I won’t even share my trash-burning barrel under the bridge abutment with those numbnuts.

They’re more than a little wishful about the 2nd, too.

No, the Second Amendment means whatever they want too.

What I meant was that they are pretty firm in their interpretation of that one, too.

Also note – he’s mostly harping about the Senate. 25 incumbents sought re-election and 22 got it (including one as a write-in candidate). That’s an incumbency rate of 88%. Also, since only a third of the Senate is up for grabs in any given election, we’re talking about an imagined “sore loser” contingent of 3%. The three rejected Senators he names? That’s it. That’s all there is. Three of them. There are no more. OMG! These three folks who were elected previously, and now have been voted out of office ARE THE END OF DEMOCRACY AS WE KNOW IT!!!

Look, all I’m saying is that the 275.5 amendment legislating caffeinated marshmallows free for wingnut keyboard vandals, is wrong.

PROTIP: Buy the bacon popcorn from that site.

What I meant was that they are pretty firm in their interpretation of that one, too.

Ah, I think I see what you mean. They distort that one too, but at least the distortion stays consistent?

As the kids (GET OFFA MAH LAWN) say, L.O.L.

Athankee! *curtsies*

“Show me on this doll where Democracy touched you. “

Green tea —> Monitor

Another great one would be:

“Nice guvment y’all gots dare … bein’ a shame if sumthin were ta happen toit.”*

(* Written in my best Ozarkian to reflect SN! meme.)

Congref*?

* I can’t be arsed to look up the unicode.

Alt+0131 if you’re PeeCeed today. ƒ

I failed tag in third grade p. e. n. i. s.

Fixed

(* Written in my best Ozarkian to reflect SN! meme.)

Ozarkian? I was just in them there mountains.

They distort that one too, but at least the distortion stays consistent?

Approxicisely!

I was just in them there mountains.

So was I!

*wriggling eyebrows*

I was just in them there mountains.

So was I!

*wriggling eyebrows*

Ya know, I clicked to see who it was, and halfway into clicking I was like “Duh!”

“In his mind he was commanding troops; he had the power to interfere and this he believed to constitute command.”
—A Farewell to Arms

Ya know, I clicked to see who it was, and halfway into clicking I was like “Duh!”

Well, I could have posted as me, but my eyebrows aren’t quite as thick without the shoe polish.

(* Written in my best Ozarkian to reflect SN! meme.)

Dude. I was just there last week and I had to throw my toilet paper in the trash instead of down the toilet. In a “convenience store.”

HAVEN’T THESE PEOPLE HEARD OF SEPTIC SAFE TOILET PAPER????

Also, is there anywhere down there where you *can’t* smoke?

And confirming what I said above, all 42 GOP senators have agreed to block any legislation in the future as long as Obama refuses to extend the tax cuts.

To answer the above question, yes, we do seem to be totes fucked.

And confirming what I said above, all 42 GOP senators have agreed to block any legislation in the future as long as Obama refuses to extend the tax cuts.

I don’t have enough energy today to hate them as much as they deserve.

Also, is there anywhere down there where you *can’t* smoke?

Depends on where “down there” is….in my experience, no.

*sipping herbal tea quietly*

Depends on where “down there” is….in my experience, no.

*sipping herbal tea quietly*

I walked into that one.

Aaaaaaaaaand that one.

And confirming what I said above, all 42 GOP senators have agreed to block any legislation in the future as long as Obama refuses to extend the tax cuts.

Well, then this is one time I think using reconciliation may make sense.

I walked into that one.

Aaaaaaaaaand that one.

My dream has always been to have the jokes write themselves.

Well, then this is one time I think using reconciliation may make sense.

I agree.

Now let’s see if anyone has the balls for it.

Now let’s see if anyone has the balls for it.

Not bloody likely- they’re all in the upper 2%, so they won’t vote against their own self-interest.

My dream has always been to have the jokes write themselves.

I’m glad to play my part in it, however small.

I’m glad to play my part in it, however small.

I’ve heard they are rather not, actually.

Not bloody likely- they’re all in the upper 2%, so they won’t vote against their own self-interest.

I remember a time when there were at least a significant minority of Congress critters who made as much as a decent plumber, apart from their salaries.

I remember a time when there were at least a significant minority of Congress critters who made as much as a decent plumber, apart from their salaries.

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that Congress was more liberal back then.

Now let’s see if anyone has the balls for it.

Harry Reid? BWAHAHAHA!

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that Congress was more liberal back then.

*wistful longing sigh*

I miss you, Carl Albert.

Has anyone else been listening to Majority Report Radio? It’s so good to have Sam back. I guess it’s a testament to my immaturity that the Lindsay Graham “close the closet door” joke never gets old for me. NEVER.

I’m glad to play my part in it, however small.

I’ve heard they are rather not, actually.

There are no small parts, only small breasts.

Harry Reid? BWAHAHAHA!

Do you think anybody would notice if Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi switched jobs?

Anybody want to bet he that he says exactly the opposite if the Republicans get booted out in 2012?

Do you think anybody would notice if Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi switched jobs?

Only so they could make note of whom to Photoshop the witch hat on to.

There are no small parts, only small breasts.

More than a tooful is a waste.

Only so they could make note of whom to Photoshop the witch hat on to.

Do you think that really matters to them?

Do you think that really matters to them?

Oooooh, probably not. Plus, they’d probably enjoy what they saw as emasculating Reid.

Speaking of silly conservative symbolism…could someone explain to me what the “Life” tape over the mouths of anti-choice protesters means? I’ve never been able to figure that out.

“Help me, I need a life”

could someone explain to me what the “Life” tape over the mouths of anti-choice protesters means? I’ve never been able to figure that out.

If you insist on knowing, but it might piss you off, Mom.

Mmmmmm tape on mouth tastes niiice

In all fairness, if the 20th amendment had been written at a time with the current level of technology, it is very likely that there would be no lame-duck session at all. Just as, if these technologies existed in in 1788, there would be no 20th amendment at all.

If you insist on knowing, but it might piss you off, Mom.

No, no. I understand what the fucktards are TRYING to say…it’s just that they’ve mucked it all up. If they were discussing the silencing or snuffing out of life, wouldn’t you put something OVER the “Life” part. Instead it’s LIFE “silencing” the morons. It’s like these people can’t do ANYTHING right.

“Help me, I need a life”

Ain’t that the truth?

My dream has always been to have the jokes write themselves.

Christine O’Donnell says they’ll go blind!

It’s like these people can’t do ANYTHING right.

I’m assuming you’ve been asleep for twenty years?

It’s like these people can’t do ANYTHING right.

I dunno. At least they’re quiet for a day.

Christine O’Donnell says they’ll go blind!

Damn. One-upped again!

*perusing death dealing catalog*

Tig? Where do you live again? Can you get Fedex?

There was a rare open parking spot right in front of Nong’s khao man gai cart. I saw it as a sign from god. Yummmmmmy. I got the cicken cracklings too. Heaven.

Nong’s khao man gai

I see what you do here.

could someone explain to me what the “Life” tape over the mouths of anti-choice protesters means?

Funny, one never seems to see males wearing it. It really is all about authoritarian patriarchy.

Or is that patriarchal authoritarianism?

Tig? Where do you live again?

TURN AROUND

Or is that patriarchal authoritarianism?

That. The other is a little redundant.

Also, you and your food gloating can suck it, PM.

TURN AROUND

Oh no! Someone already beat you to that joke! I sit against a wall!

could someone explain to me what the “Life” tape over the mouths of anti-choice protesters means?

I have no life and I must scream?

EAT IT WORDPRESS!!!! All day, it’s been telling me I’m posting too quickly, and I managed to get two comments in with the same time signature.

USA! USA!

could someone explain to me what the “Life” tape over the mouths of anti-choice protesters means?

I have no life and I must scream?

Next time, swallow?

OK, well, I’m relieved. I honestly wondered if I were missing something in the symbolism, instead of it making no bloody sense whatsoever.

I have no life and I must scream?

Can’t they indicate that with a handle of Popov like normal people?

…And confirming what I said above, all 42 GOP senators have agreed to block any legislation in the future as long as Obama refuses to extend the tax cuts…

Which shows are densely stupid they are: all they’d have to do is keep their yaps shut, and Obama will extend the tax cuts all by himself. They’re so dumb they don’t realize he’s on their side.

Can’t the new congress just repeal the lame duck stuff, anyway? I like it being there as a way for congress to do hard to pass for dumb gotcha reasons (hurting the troops — cutting military budgets, hurting the farmer — reducing subsidies or increasing food safety laws, etc.), hard to repeal because they’re good things — eating our fucking oatmeal as a country. When you go to your dad’s house, you can vomit it up and have all the ice cream and cake he’ll give you.

If food safety laws are an affront to our constitution, or they just feel like it, the Republicans will return things back to the status quo in a couple of months. And then we can have McRib (*) and Four Loko — all the Fours Loko as we want! — to celebrate.

(*) a trademark of McDonalds, Inc. McRib is a truly one-of-a-kind artificially flavored pink slime-based meat food-style sandwich experience.

“Also, you […] can suck it, PM.”

T&U? Actor stole your nym.

could someone explain to me what the “Life” tape over the mouths of anti-choice protesters means?

Funny, one never seems to see males wearing it. It really is all about authoritarian patriarchy.

So the “gagged by pro-life” message is more Freudianly(TOTALLY a real word) clear than they’d like us to realize: women should just STFU about their wombs already, they’re not the ones who get to decide.

T&U? Actor stole your nym.

Again? Dammit!

And then we can have McRib (*) and Four Loko — all the Fours Loko as we want! — to celebrate.

Mmmmm… pink slime glazed with a Four Loko reduction.

I sit against a wall!

I am that wall! I PINCH YOUR BUTTCHEEK!

Again? Dammit!

Your large breastses make a great place to hide and sneak a few comments in.

So have any of the usual suspects lost their shit over the fact that Google has an objectively pro-Civil Rights Act logo up today?

I will note they are using a black kid in place of the letter l — which looks just like the number one. As in, The One. (Nice try Google, but we all know Barry went to a madrassah as a kid, probably on a camel.) So yet another load of anti-birther propaganda from the Democrat-controlled Google.

The e’s pretty crescent-y, too. I don’t remember the fifth letter of the alphabet being so objectively anti-Christian before today. Mayb_ w_ should do a boycott of it? I’m sur_ J_sus would say, y_s.

I am that wall! I PINCH YOUR BUTTCHEEK!

Oh great! My office has become a MMPORG?

I reach down and find a rapid-reload shotgun

Do I:

a) Pick it up?

b) Ask it where Tig is?

c) Offer to buy it a drink?

Also, if you look at the angle of the kid’s hat, it is (a) pointing towards mecca; (b) shows that even as a kid, Obambi was a thug who listened to gangster rap.

Nick – It’s ok to usE thE lEttEr “E” if you only usE the big “E” and not thE littlE “E”.

You _an’t usE EithEr _asE of thE lEttEr “_”, bE_ausE both of thEm arE _rEs_Ents.

Oh great! My office has become a MMPORG?

It is pitch dark…

Don’t get eated by a grue!

Don’t get eated by a grue!

That’s one crazy grue!

Anything anyone wants to say about this RedState load?

http://www.redstate.com/paul_j_cella/2010/12/01/disinviting-islam/

Holy shit! Shorter John Derbyshire:

How do you deal with AIDS in Africa? Use federal tax dollars to help its victims, or let the filth die in the jungle? George W. Bush chose the former . . . and for that, I am ashamed to have supported him.

http://www.redstate.com/paul_j_cella/2010/12/01/disinviting-islam/

Can you imagine the fury if Islam turned down the invitation?

“But we made canapes! CANAPES!”

Use federal tax dollars to help its victims, or let the filth die in the jungle? George W. Bush chose the former . . . and for that, I am ashamed to have supported him.

::blink::

Wha………….?

“that Islam contains within it a sizeable faction of determined men whose politics derive from the warmaking doctrines of the Jihad”

Okay, before you spew racist shit, maybe you should know what “jihad” means, motherfucker.

How do you deal with AIDS in Africa?

Ummm, fuck fourteen-year-olds?

Ummm, fuck fourteen-year-olds?

*packing bags* Oh no, not again.

Crap. T&U beat me to my pedophilia joke. I was gonna ask if he wanted to let the prepubescent ones die too.

“that Islam contains within it a sizeable faction of determined men whose politics derive from the warmaking doctrines of the Jihad”

This differs from neoconservatism how?

Man, the sheer genius of it eludes me. The right wing moans and groan about gridlock in Washington by out of touch politicians, so to show their support for the base, the GOP threatens to stop all legislation until they get their tax breaks for the upper 2% of wealth. “We feel your pain America! We assure you that these hedge fund managers will invest their tax money in automobile plants and inner city projects. Trust us!”

“We feel your pain America! We assure you that these hedge fund managers will invest their tax money in automobile plants and inner city projects. Trust us!”

Well, I mean, in fairness they do.

It’s in an alternate universe where we’re all subjugated by sequined gay unicorns, but I digress…

Actually, the funny (and by “funny,” I mean, “UGH OMG UGH”) thing is that there is a belief among South Africans that sex with a virgin will cure AIDS.

What Derbs calls “unhealthy, disease-spreading habits” I call “desperation and ignorance,” but obviously those dirty Africans don’t deserve any better.

What Derbs calls “unhealthy, disease-spreading habits” I call “desperation and ignorance,”

Oh! Teabaggers….

Oh! Teabaggers….

Yeah, but they don’t have an excuse.

Okay, two things.

Perhaps nothing demonstrates the folly of liberalism on this matter more clearly than that its adherents persist in laying hold of the old idiom of racism in abusing their interlocutors, when it is evident to anyone with a modicum of curiosity that this is chiefly a doctrinal and cultural, not a racial matter.

“In theory, attacking people because of their religion isn’t racist because you can choose your religion but not your race. In practice, there is often little difference. The vast majority of people are born to their religion; they don’t choose it. And in the context of a ‘clash of civilizations’ in which Muslims are being essentialized, uniformized and criticized on a constant basis, the distinction blurs almost into nothingness.”
– Rahul Mahajan, blogger

Considering that “Obama is a Muslim” and “Obama is an Arab” were used interchangeably in the campaign, I’d say the man’s right.

And perhaps you’d be so good as to explain to the Catholics and Jews who lived through the pre-civil rights era how the KKK persecuting them for their religion was totally different from the KKK persecuting black people for their race (not that you gave a shit about that either).

Speaking from personal experience, it’s now been almost five years since I spent a portion of an evening at an event at the University of Georgia arguing (quite civilly) about the Jihad with a Muslim of Swedish extraction and American heritage.

And of course, you’ve pointed that out to all your fellow useful idiots from RedState to PJTV who believe Muslims can accurately be “profiled” just by looking at them, you brainless invertebrate?

George W. Bush chose the former . . . and for that, I am ashamed to have supported him.

I call fake – no present-day conservative will admit to voting for Bush or feeling shame.

Considering that “Obama is a Muslim” and “Obama is an Arab” were used interchangeably in the campaign, I’d say the man’s right.

Damn right. That’s the problem. It IS racist if a significant portion of the partisans can make this ridiculous equivalence.

Okay, before you spew racist shit, maybe you should know what “jihad” means, motherfucker.

Heh. Also, maybe George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford should be put on trial for using the word “crusade” in a movie, too. Oh, wait, that’s the word Christians use to justify holy wars. Carry on.

Yoo-hoo actor,for you my dear

no present-day conservative will admit to voting for Bush or feeling shame.

Especially since Bush miraculously became a liberal.

Yoo-hoo actor,for you my dear

Unsequined manicorn. Not the same thing.

Altho, if I was of a different persuasion, I might let him subjugate me. I’m worried about tetanus from the hooves, tho.

Yoo-hoo actor,for you my dear

Believe it or not, that’s the second or third time that image has been linked to here.

I call fake – no present-day conservative will admit to voting for Bush or feeling shame.

The “Bush was a liberal” crowd’s pretty conservative. And I have actually met people, even back when he was President, who expressed their disappointment in him for being too multicultural.

Damn right. That’s the problem. It IS racist if a significant portion of the partisans can make this ridiculous equivalence.

Right. Philosophically, they might have a point. Coming from their mouths, we know what it means.

Also, maybe George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford should be put on trial for using the word “crusade” in a movie, too.

Nonsense! The term “crusade” has various meanings based on context. “Jihad,” on the other hand, has……..oh. Never mind.

Philosophically, they might have a point. Coming from their mouths, we know what it means.

And yet, we speak in code that clearly means we’re socialists, whereas, oh no! Rightwingers aren’t racists! Those people are just filthy animals!

Altho, if I was of a different persuasion, I might let him subjugate me. I’m worried about tetanus from the hooves, tho.

That really is a pretty good-looking unicorn.

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Rightwing Translation: Uppity nigras going all Muslim and shoving Shania Law down our throats….

Those people are just filthy animals!

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that exact word applied to Muslims (no, not al-Qaeda, not terrorists, not Salafists, “Muslims”) by some conservative jackhole on the Internet…

Well, I could buy out the Koch brothers, Rupert Murdoch and Richard Scaife, and still have enough money to fund a colony on Mars for me to retire on.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Rightwing translation: Jesus hates fags.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Rightwing translation: Tax cuts for the rich!

Fine, you…um, here’s a zombie unicorn for you.

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

Rightwing translation: I need my didee changed!

And of course, you’ve pointed that out to all your fellow useful idiots from RedState to PJTV who believe Muslims can accurately be “profiled” just by looking at them, you brainless invertebrate?

He also seems to forget that the kid’s father tipped off the FBI.

Fine, you…um, here’s a zombie unicorn for you.

I assume this is after he’s finished eating off all the humans and is starving? That’s one mangy looking unicorn.

Government of the people, by the people and for the people shall not perish from the earth

Rightwing translation: Except when we elect a moderate centrist Democrat and a Democratic majority in any house of Congress!

He also seems to forget that the kid’s father tipped off the FBI.

Yes, but he’s STILL a Muslin.

You know who else tipped off the FBI, right?

He also seems to forget that the kid’s father tipped off the FBI.

Sorta like the Time Square bomb being called in by a Muslim immigrant.

You know who else tipped off the FBI, right?

BUT WHERE ARE THE MODERATE MUSLIMS SPEAKING OUT?????

I can understand why the GOP want to get back to the intent of the Founding Fathers in regards to the Constitution. After all, most of it was originally written with white, landed, males in mind.

I for one call for the repeal of the 19th Amendment.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.

Rightwing translation: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of a religion that goes against our version of Fundagelical Christianity.

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

Rightwing translation: ACORN11!!!!111eleventy!!!!!111!!!!!!1

BUT WHERE ARE THE MODERATE MUSLIMS SPEAKING OUT?????

I can’t imagine what it’s like being part of the American Muslim community right now. Nine years of going above and beyond to prove their dedication to the U.S, and all they’re getting for it is an explosion of hate. I mean, what the fuck more can they do?

After all, most of it was originally written with white, landed, males in mind.

And the average conservative voter is actually dumb enough to think he’d be part of those chosen few if the old ways were brought back.

I mean, what the fuck more can they do?

Convert.

Of course, for some of them, there’s still that pesky brown skin and weird name issue…

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not …

He’s a Kenyan! A Kennnnyyyyan! He went to a mardigrassa!!! !! !

You know who else tipped off the FBI, right?

A little Peau de Soi and a publicist can help with that.

If Tintin’s in the mood to cover Denver wingnuts, might I suggest Jay Ambrose? Paper I used to work for had his syndicated dumps every Thursday, and whoo boy did you have to light a match or open some windows.

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Take two….

Of course, for some of them, there’s still that pesky brown skin and weird name issue…

A little Peau de Soi and a publicist can help with that.

Of course, for some of them, there’s still that pesky brown skin and weird name issue…
All they need to do to overcome that is to grow another foot taller and learn to play basketball (or football, or baseball) really well, and that little image issue is suddenly no problem.

I can’t imagine what it’s like being part of the American Muslim community right now

It’s their turn I geuss. Imagine being a Japanese American during WWII.

A little Peau de Soi and a publicist can help with that.

I was going to suggest hydroquinone and a legal name change, but that sounds a little easier. And less cancer-y.

All they need to do to overcome that is to grow another foot taller and learn to play basketball (or football, or baseball) really well

Not football. Pigskin.

Of course, for some of them, there’s still that pesky brown skin and weird name issue…

Yeah, and even if they did convert, the teabaggers would just claim they’re still Muslim on the inside (just like Obama) and practicing Taqiyya so they can kill us all.

It’s their turn I geuss. Imagine being a Japanese American during WWII.

Not yet, but at this point I’d be seriously worrying about that possibility. I never did back on 9/11 or in the years afterward, but now…

Imagine being a Japanese American during WWII.

…or Irish in the 1840’s, or Chinese in the 1860’s, or Black in the 1880’s, or Catholic in the 1920’s, or gay just about whenever.

But don’t you dare accuse conservatives of being intolerant!

Not for, you know, nothing, but this guy’s a little late…

Tintin et al. of the Powers That Be Here,

Just in case you were worried that the right wing all-star crackbangers would run out of steam as they aged, I found a prospect in the farm system for mockery.

Of course, for some of them, there’s still that pesky brown skin and weird name issue…

Yeshua Ben Yosef?

Just in case you were worried that the right wing all-star crackbangers would run out of steam as they aged, I found a prospect in the farm system for mockery.

Woooooooooooooow.

The continuing saga of Truck Nutz

Yeshua Ben Yosef?

Yeah, I don’t think your average ball-scratchin’ redneck is up on the difference between Arabic and Hebrew.

Woooooooooooooow.

He’s got a fine fastball, but he can’t get his curve over for strikes yet. Maybe we could teach him to breathe thru his eyelids and wear a garter belt while pitching.

Yeah, I don’t think your average ball-scratchin’ redneck is up on the difference between Arabic and Hebrew.

Habib Ben Goldberg?

Orrrrr “Matt Smith”, maybe?

Ephebophilic racist Derbyshire says:

Perhaps the future of sub-Saharan Africa would be brighter if the people of that place changed some of their customs; but now, thanks to us, they don’t have to. (A similar point can be made about domestic AIDS-relief…

And it goes on like that. Derbyshire is either lying or unwilling to even do the most basic research. AIDS relief doesn’t just mean subsidized drug therapy for HIV-positive individuals. It also includes efforts to reduce transmission — that is, “chang[ing] some of their customs”.

‘Domestic AIDS-relief’ substantially reduced the HIV infection rate through education. The difficult thing about prevention campaigns is that the more successful they are, the more difficult they become — the original threat seems lessened, so young people (for instance) might decide that condoms aren’t necessary anymore.

The only thing that makes Derbyshire happy is the thought that people who aren’t like him are suffering. I hope one of those 16-year-old girls he admires so maces him in the dick.

Orrrrr “Matt Smith”, maybe?

Smith…sounds kinda suspicious…the kind of name you’d sign on a hotel registry. We’ll have to keep an eye on him…

It also includes efforts to reduce transmission — that is, “chang[ing] some of their customs”.

Like providing condoms.

Oh. Wait. We did that in the nineties, and AIDS started to come under control.

Then Bush took office and abided by the wishes of his fellow religious nuts.

And then he had to go fund more money.

Which Derby didn’t like. Because it didn’t change their behavior.

there is a belief among South Africans that sex with a virgin will cure AIDS

And some people in the West used to think that sex with a virgin would cure syphilis. There’s not many odious beliefs in the world which haven’t had analogues in the West over the last two hundred years or so.

And some people in the West used to think that sex with a virgin would cure syphilis.

Will it cure a yeast infection?

*scratchscratch*

Not football. Pigskin.
gloves?
or if that doesn’t work I suppose they could box instead.

And some people in the West used to think that sex with a virgin would cure syphilis. There’s not many odious beliefs in the world which haven’t had analogues in the West over the last two hundred years or so.

Oh, totes. I wasn’t implying that there was something strange or bad about South Africans because they have mistaken beliefs about medicine.

*adjusts copper bracelet*

Will it cure a yeast infection?

No, you need to apply a poultice of grain neutral spirit, scotch bonnet pulp, and WD-40. You’ll forget all about your yeast infection.

No, you need to apply a poultice of grain neutral spirit, scotch bonnet pulp, and WD-40. You’ll forget all about your yeast infection.

Or, you know…yogurt.

Or, you know…yogurt.

And be forever known as “tzatziki-dick?” I think not.

might I suggest Jay Ambrose? Paper I used to work for had his syndicated dumps every Thursday, and whoo boy did you have to light a match or open some windows.

Not to mention Clifford fucking May, though I guess he’s big-time now.

Ah, the *real* doodle controversy:

Now, enter Rosa Parks. It’s not the woman who’s necessarily controversial. It’s just that the date of her famous bus ride happens to coincide with another meaningful day: World AIDS Day.

Blacks vs. gays! I can’t wait to see what hillbuzz has to say.

Alt+0131 if you’re PeeCeed today. ƒ

Tanx – if I wuz peecee’d it would have been easy to look up. Fucking iphones.

Will it cure a yeast infection?

As with all STDs prevention is your best option, so QUIT FUCKING BAGELS.

Mmmmmm tape on mouth tastes niiice
Does it come in bacon flavour?

Don’t mess with the Hofe!

Don’t mess with the Hofe!

…or you’ll get the bull?

Wait, I’ll come in again.

Fucking iphones.

It’s like WebTV all over again.

Fucking iphones.

This is why I set mine to “vibrate”

Did Bouffant not share the Althouse love here?

http://whiskeyfire.typepad.com/whiskey_fire/2010/11/malignant-narcissist.html

I just like to type “Malignant.”

As far as Inhofe goes, gov’t. offices closing on Xmas is a clear violation of the First Amendment.

This is why I set mine to “vibrate”

*blink*

I hope you have flash-redial on your home phone.

Well Senator Inhofe, you have every right to fuck off.

I just speed dial myself over and over…and over again.

No wonder you sleep so much. You must be exhausted.

Exhausted and happy.

Damn Inhofe. And I was gonna fly to Tulsa just to see him in the parade.

I am turning to you and others to help raise $50,000 ONLINE before the end of the year so we are on a sound financial footing and ready to do battle with the liberal left on January 1, 2011.

Please give today.

Let’s bludgeon them with our superior wit and wisdom.

That’s the Spectator way.

Yours faithfully,

R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.
Founder & Editor in Chief
The American Spectator

Superior wit and wisdom, AS-stylee: “Obama’s a nigger!!!”

LOL. Come for the Hanson, stay for the Inhofe.

Link, if you give a flying fuck at a rolling dough-nut.

Shit-kickin’, Tulsa style.

Let’s bludgeon them with our superior wit and wisdom.

R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.

Bludgeoned with superior wit, wisdom and a failed Voight-Kampff test.

Fucking bagels. How do they work?

The Socialist Agenda is not dead yet and enough Americans still buy the Left’s guff for them to be a dangerous force in the months ahead. We ignore them at our own peril.

What year is it in your world, gramps?

The Year of Guff, apparently.

Tyrell at AS…..I have never looked at that site before (I always try to s.i.t.b)……did Tintin hack in and photoshop his image?

Zionism rocks!!

did Tintin hack in and photoshop his image?

It does look fake, like he’s holding a “typical old white male human” mask in front of his real face.

LOL @ political science major.

“What’s he done for this country?” You mean besides keep them on the oldest and priciest welfare roll on the face of the Earth?

“I’m a political science major. I know my shit! Netanyahu? Who’s that?”

Funny how much they look like the popular stereotype of the leftie college student – ignorant know it all frat kids, et al.

Not to mention the “color not occurring in nature” rug/dye job.

Tyrell?

Zionist cleavage @ 1:45!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

BUT WHERE ARE THE MODERATE MUSLIMS SPEAKING OUT?????

For example, some of them could try to build a community center a few blocks from Ground Zero to foster intracultural tolerance. A project like that would surely be well received by conservatives!

Let’s bludgeon them with both types of wit: country and western.

Zionist cleavage

Huge tracts of land…

For example, some of them could try to build a community center a few blocks from Ground Zero to foster intracultural tolerance. A project like that would surely be well received by conservatives!

Actually, it was. When the man went on TV with Laura Ingraham last December, she told him she thought it was a really swell thing to do.

Rope-a-dope, I believe the term is.

Chief Tyrel looks human. R. Emmett not so much.

cleavage is real.

Chief Tyrel looks human. R. Emmett not so much.

Nit-picker.

I pick….uhh…never mind….

Really, tigris is right….. for all the jokes about the reptilian overlords pulling off the mask to eat a rodent….he looks like a prime candidate.

Esquire (via BalloonJuice) has a new VPR…….

clubbing the halibut

Someone there watched Palin’s Alaska….Warning! Palin Photos.

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/sarah-palin-clubbing-the-halibut

And be forever known as “tzatziki-dick?”

*slaps forehead*

And here I thought she was calling me “that thicky dick”!

hunchy has a good link there. Worth the peek.

Thanks M. B., I’m gonna hit the boss up for a raise. not decreasing my pay by 20%

I was going to say she looks terrible in the first pic, but actually I think she looks better there, like a real person with cares and worries rather than the cardboard cut-out self she usually presents, with the tiny, hate-filled eyes glaring out over the pasted-on smile. Maybe in some universe the net-mender is the real one, and her hard life has given her enough empathy to warm multitudes.

tigris!!!! shhhhhhhh….don’t let anyone know you are still willing to try to look at THEM as normal people. It’ll ruin the whole mystique of the hateful blog.

Plus, the harpy would probably chew off your arm and feed it to her demonic spawn given half a chance.

Now, I’m off to take a bunch of drugs and furiously masturbate to rap music videos.

This is a not-bad, though not all “LeftistH8R” take on Alaska, Palin-style.

With that we introduce: We Watch ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’ So You Don’t Have To. We will watch episodes of Sarah Palin’s Alaska as they air, and provide our up-to-the-minute commentary on both the awe-inspiring scenery in Alaska, as well as Palin’s remarkable ability to find culture-war fodder in all her outdoor activities. As Palin recently said on twitter:

“Tomorrow-”Sarah Palin’s Alaska” we slay salmon. A bunch of ‘em. (Watch the Left’s reaction to that, if harvesting halibut freaked them out!)”

Because if there is one thing liberal elites can’t stand, it is fishing.

Willow is having a Birthday Party! And its on the 4th of July. We also learn that in Alaska, the Palins make fish head stew for birthday parties.

We are then treated to Willow filleting the fish head. Though Willow herself notes that “I’ve never done this before” and that none of her friends do this.

Maybe making an Alaskan fishhead stew for the birthday is just a Palin family tradition that happens when the TLC crew is in town.

Palin points out she would rather that Willow be cutting off fish heads instead of texting, or even partying!

I wonder if Palin will ever tell Willow “it builds character.”

“Tomorrow-”Sarah Palin’s Alaska” we slay salmon. A bunch of ‘em.

They let you hunt salmon from helicopters up in Alaska? What do you do, use depth charges and then hope the charred bits and pieces that are left aren’t so small they’ll pass through the nets?

(Watch the Left’s reaction to that, if harvesting halibut freaked them out!)”

This left wing socialist has dismembered live crabs the size of a CD player, then cooked and eaten them. Top that.

I watched that clip of her clubbing the halibut, and I have to say – It’s obvious they edited it just before she swung and missed. Her position was wrong to be able to hit it, she was off balance.

I think she has about as much experience fishing as I do – and mine is limited to a day trip off Elliot Bay.

“Tomorrow-”Sarah Palin’s Alaska” we slay salmon. A bunch of ‘em. (Watch the Left’s reaction to that, if harvesting halibut freaked them out!)”

How can anyone be so cluelessly wrong? Oh, never mind. It’s Sarah Palin.

so the Palin kids were born and raised in Alaska, and their mom & dad just love Alaska and all the wonders of its wilderness and fishin’ and huntin’ glories.

How come their 19 year old daughter doesn’t know how big a halibut is? How come she has to be taught how to shoot? How come their grown adult returned soldier son doesn’t know how to pilot a fishing boat? How come this family-lovin’ Mama Grizzly doesn’t recognize her nephew, it’s been so long since she’s seen him?

Did they just not get around to exploring the wonders of Alaska until a TLC camera crew came around?

Since in her book, she blames Bristol’s pregnancy on the fact that she was just too gosh darned busy to keep tabs on the kid, maybe that’s why the kids don’t know anything about huntin’ and fishin’ and boatin’ and climbin’ and things.

This left wing socialist has dismembered live crabs the size of a CD player, then cooked and eaten them. Top that.

I killed a 5-pound lobster just to watch him die. suck the meat from his shell.

This left wing socialist has dismembered live crabs the size of a CD player, then cooked and eaten them. Top that.

I fuck what I kill, and I kill what I fuck.

You must have some interesting salads.

I haven’t seen the show but the latest ad for it shows her getting ready to shoot a caribou – I wonder what they used for bait.

Well, Todd follows the caribou in the helicopter to lure it away from the lichens, and then Sairy comes along in the Lockheed Starfighter and attacks it with air-to-ground missiles.

the 20th Amendment

It’s funny, looking at the ratification process at that Wikipedia link, it seems that the amendment plodded along for awhile, and then had a sudden flurry of ratifying states right after the 1932 election. Sometimes the American people do get things right–they were so sick of Republicans, they amended the fucking Constitution to get them out of office 8 weeks quicker (though the amendment didn’t take effect right away, but whatever, it’s the thought that counts).

Yee-haw! If that happened there would be a supernova of starbursts throughout wingnuttia.

I fuck what I kill, and I kill what I fuck.

Cookin’ lasts; kissin’ don’t.

Here’s an interesting take on the R party but what’s most entertaining is the comments (or at least the first few): How the GOP purged me

Cookin’Canning lasts; kissin’ don’t.

I am sooo picky.

Just noticed that was originally posted Apr 5. You all can just go ahead and point ‘n laugh right now.

So far my MVP vote goes to Actor for the Ebby Calvin LaLoosh / Annie Savoy reference.

God, I miss baseball.

God, I miss baseball.

Hey, pitchers & catchers* report 13 Feb 2011. Just 2.5 mos. Suffer through the Xmess season & it’ll be there before you know.

*Not a VanythingR, you sick fux.

Heh, vs.

Heh, vs.

You can hardly tell she’s pregnant.

Here’s an interesting take on the R party but what’s most entertaining is the comments (or at least the first few): How the GOP purged me

I gotta agree with some of the comments. I’m happy he came around, but what took him so long? His hero Buckley is the same guy who wrote in the National Review cheering for segregation and Francisco Franco. No, this crap did not start in the 1990s… Republicans were batshit insane long before that.

pitchers & catchers* report

Eh. It’s just going to recommend more tax cuts and privatizing Social Security.

Margaret Cho explains all: http://www.margaretcho.com/content/2010/11/29/pistol_whipped/

pitchers & catchers*

*I can double as either, for parties.

You can hardly tell she’s pregnant.

I was going to say that if vs looked like that at, what four months is it?, then as her doctor I strongly recommend sammiches. And doughnuts. Maybe even doughnut sandwiches.

I most assuredly do not look like that. Even when I’m not pregnant.

I most assuredly do not look like that.

I think we’ll be the judge of that. Now go find some boxing themed lingerie and post photos of yourself wearing it.

Also, cue joke about telling your mom that the “Everlast” on the boxer’s shorts isn’t because that’s his nickname.

Margaret Cho explains all: http://www.margaretcho.com/content/2010/11/29/pistol_whipped/

The comments are cracking me up. Especially the pro-Palin one that also says that Margaret Cho is funny. Apparently the lady has never seen Cho’s performances outside of DWTS.

(Watch the Left’s reaction to that, if harvesting halibut freaked them out!)”

Yep, “clubbing the halibut” became an instant euphemism because we were so freaked out.

then as her doctor I strongly

Ooo-oo, we’re playing doctor? I like my temperature taken the old fashioned way.

God, I miss baseball.

You mean watching or playing?

Cuz I miss playing, but I’m too old to go try out.

Of course, I could still probably pitch rings around Ollie Perez…

I was still curious as to the amount of fear that the right projects as hatred and anger. I read this by Brad over at C & L and it struck a nerve.

But that’s the thing about narcissists — they’re stunningly insecure people who get comically angry and upset whenever anyone dares to challenge their sense of self-worth and accomplishment

It’s all about them. No matter who is hurt, no matter what the consequences to others, the right wing pooh-bahs have a pathological need to be, at least in their mind, in the right.

I haven’t seen the show but the latest ad for it shows her getting ready to shoot a caribou – I wonder what they used for bait.

Trig, dangling from the helicopter’s strut.

I like my temperature taken the old fashioned way.

What, you mean with a bunch of floating glass orbs?

Trig, dangling from the helicopter’s strut.

*snort* You are so going to hell!

It’s all about them. No matter who is hurt, no matter what the consequences to others, the right wing pooh-bahs have a pathological need to be, at least in their mind, in the right.

Everyone knows it happens to individuals. Still stunning to see it practiced on a national scale.

You are so going to hell!

What? It wouldn’t be the first time she’s used her children as bait!

No, this crap did not start in the 1990s… Republicans were batshit insane long before that.

I think Goldwater unleashed the neo- hounds. I’m not sure he intended to, but the quote below got twisted to whatever the right wanted “liberty” to mean. I think they used it as a blanket excuse.

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!

I think Goldwater unleashed the neo- hounds.

Before he died in 1998, he refudiated much that had been done in his name.

*snort* You are so going to hell!

I know.

I wonder what they used for bait.

I’d guess a couple million bucks.

Oh, you mean bait for the caribou?

If you re-read Goldwaters quote now with the idea it applies to all Americans, which I believe was his intent, it really is rather stirring.

“moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!”

Apply that thought in regards to the Wall Street disaster, and there would be a number of Americans who could get behind that idea.

Snow Day!!

A good read:

The great Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy died one hundred years ago on November 20, 1910. Although eulogized by many writers, one of the best tributes to Tolstoy came two years before his death when Leon Trotsky wrote this article on Tolstoy’s eightieth birthday. It was first published in German in Die Neue Zeit on September 18, 1908; then in a Russian translation in Volume 20 of Trotsky’s Works in 1926; and finally in an English translation by John G. Wright in the journal Fourth International in May-June 1951 under the title, “Tolstoy, Poet and Rebel.” Minor revisions have been made to the original English translation. Several of the endnotes have been adapted from the 1926 Russian edition.”

http://wsws.org/articles/2010/dec2010/tols-d02.shtml

Before he died in 1998, he refudiated much that had been done in his name.

According to the same article, he supported civil rights legislation prior to the Civil Rights Act, which is a point to him. Whether he changed his mind because he really thought the CRA was an intrusion into states’ rights or because it was politically convenient is anyone’s guess, but he did express the opinion that the GOP ought to campaign in the South to make up for the loss in the black vote.

Goldwater probably figured he was making a deal with the devil, but never imagined the extent to which the devil would take advantage of it. The repentance came a bit late, but it’s more than most conservative leaders can claim.

(Not that it excuses his other political choices, especially the anti-labor crusade).

What? It wouldn’t be the first time she’s used her children as bait!

Sure, but caribou everywhere are offended at your implication that they would be evil enough to eat a special needs toddler.

Sure, but caribou everywhere are offended at your implication that they would be evil enough to eat a special needs toddler.

Maybe caribou are the social workers of the animal world and the thought was they’d scamper in to improve the toddler’s lot in life?

Sure, but caribou everywhere are offended at your implication that they would be evil enough to eat a special needs toddler.

They were trying to recuse him.

Er, rescue. Not recuse. Altho that works too.

Maybe caribou are the social workers of the animal world and the thought was they’d scamper in to improve the toddler’s lot in life?

It would explain why Mama Palin keeps trying to shoot them.

This one’s still buzzing in my bonnet. Next time Limbaugh, Beck, Malkin, Coulter, ad nauseum fluff themselves into a drama outrage I’m going to keep this in mind.

Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

re: Caribou

I don’t know why all y’all are trying to defend the heartless bastids. They are offensively bigoted monsters who will turn on their own and harass and ostracize others for minor physical imperfections like a red-coloured nose.

They are offensively bigoted monsters who will turn on their own and harass and ostracize others for minor physical imperfections like a red-coloured nose.

A CaribØØ bit my sister Ønce

like a red-coloured nose

Eh, it’s the Everclear. Everything else freezes up here.

Actor212, you have just been sacked.

What the hell is going on at Balloon Juice?

What the hell is going on at Balloon Juice?

Is that where everyone’s at?

I shall check forthwith.

Eh, it’s the Everclear. Everything else freezes up here.

Permafrost in his cocktails gives Santa a sad.

Is that where everyone’s at?

I shall check forthwith.

I don’t know, but there’s all this meta butthurt swirling around that has something to do with the TSA and readership capture and…Ross Douthat? I dunno.

meta butthurt swirling around

Time to flush again. And get out the plunger, also. Too.

I don’t know, but there’s all this meta butthurt swirling around that has something to do with the TSA and readership capture and…Ross Douthat? I dunno.

That’s not unusual at Balloon Juice, I’ve noticed. People (usually “Obots” vs the “professional left”) disagree and do not do so civilly. At all.

Are you guys talking about Angry Black Lady’s thread?

In my email:

Much to the dismay of the mainstream media, former Alaska Governor and Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s new book America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag is impacting this country even more than her first book. Debuting at #2 on the New York Times Bestseller list must be making the leftys at “The Gray Lady” cringe like never before. Palin’s new book is exciting and informative and we don’t want you to miss out! When you order a one year subscription to Townhall Magazine we’ll send you America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag absolutely free! We only have a select number of Palin books left so order now while you still can!

Gee, I wonder what sentences like the last two have to do with sentences like the first two.

Sarah Palin’s new book…is impacting this country even more than her first book.

Particularly those with fast-food related cardiac disease.

Ohhhh-kayyyy

Sarah Palin’s new book…is impacting this country even more than her first book.

Yeah, now Wal-mart is going to have to mark down the first one even more to make room for the second one.

Are you guys talking about Angry Black Lady’s thread?

Well, kinda. I was talking more about the stuff that preceded it.

Mrs. Palin’s book are not be tossed aside lightly; they should be hurled with great force.

(w’ apologies to Dorothy Parker)

Books, also, too

Books, also, too

No, I think you were right the first time. Same book, different cover, sell the rubes twice as many copies.

Well, kinda. I was talking more about the stuff that preceded it.

Still reading down the day’s threads (just joined the “ABL should stay” chorus). Why can’t Oliver North be dead?

Debuting at #2 on the New York Times Bestseller list must be making the leftys at “The Gray Lady” cringe like never before.

Note this takes precedence over the positive qualities they purport the book itself to have.

Sarah Palin’s new book…is impacting this country even more than her first book.

i.e. it’s POOP.

i.e. it’s POOP.

Thank god somewhere else went with bowel movement. I’ve been chewing my fingernails not wanting to jump in on that.

Who are you and what have you done with Actor?

Who are you and what have you done with Actor?

*muffled voice in the background saying something sounding like “He’s making me touch him!”*

Why, I have no clue what you’re talking about!

I’m not caught up. Forgive me if this is not a new point, but it popped into my head this morning.

re. Assange on interpol list:

Stand by to hear ARGLE BARGLE! FEMINISM RUN AMOK! from the chorus of shitheads…

*crickets chirping*

Oh, wait, uh… don’t.

Sarah Palin’s new book…is impacting this country even more than her first book.

As God is my witness… I thought Palin books could fly!

As God is my witness… I thought Palin books could fly!

And people were impressed with my Bull Durham ref…

And people were impressed with my Bull Durham ref…

Well, I’ve been crazy about Jan Smithers ever since I saw her in Where the Lillies Bloom.

Debuting at #2 on the New York Times Bestseller list must be making the leftys at “The Gray Lady” cringe like never before

Greatest wingnut priority, constant.

Above all, what they really really really want is for Those Other People to feel bad.

A sleeper terrorist cell has successfully infiltrated the US Senate. They are currently holding the entire US government for a ransom of several billion dollars. I knew this kind of thing would happen when they sarting swearing in Muslims in the legislature!

What? Wait… What do you mean he’s one of the hostages?

PENIS.

Where’d everyone go? I used my deoderant this morning, I swear.

Sirius Lunacy said,
December 2, 2010 at 19:56 (kill)

Where’d everyone go? I used my deoderant this morning, I swear.

Check the time, Mr. Sweaty.

Where’d everyone go? I used my deoderant this morning, I swear.

*sniffs armpit, looks around guiltily.

Well, I’m sure a new thread would help dissipate the odor…

I gotta get my Jesus Day cards designed and ready to print today…so that’s why I’ve been scarce…if anyone cares, besides Faith No More.

if anyone cares, besides Faith No More.

They are lying.

Let them hate, So long as they fear

I gotta get my Jesus Day cards designed and ready to print today…so that’s why I’ve been scarce…if anyone cares, besides Faith No More.

Which begs the question – If you have Faith No More why would you be sending out Jesus Day cards?

I’ll be watching It’s a Zombieful Life with undead Jimmy Stewart.

Celebrating Xmas is habit for me. I can’t stop. Decorations and pressies are too fun. Only instead of celebrating Jesus, I just spoil my fam.

Where’d everyone go? I used my deoderant this morning, I swear.

You should really stop buying the POOP-scented kind.

Sirius Lunacy said,
December 2, 2010 at 19:56 (kill)

Where’d everyone go? I used my deoderant this morning, I swear

Using it down your underwear only half counts.

Me wannta card.”Happy birfday dear HAY-soos!”

if anyone cares,

About what?

PENIS.

About what?

About my being scarce. Although I guess that doesn’t apply now.

Me wannta card.”Happy birfday dear HAY-soos!”

Middle Eastern guy with Puerto Rican name, who went around making sick people healthy for free. Conservatives would definitely be running that crucifixion mob.

About my being scarce.

You were?

Middle Eastern guy with Puerto Rican name

His mom Maria, his dad Jose too.

Turned water into rum.

Turned water into rum.

Anyone can do that… with a little cane sugar and a still and some barrels to age the spirit in and a few years of time to spend on it.

I just got my notice. I have been drafted to fight the war on Christmas. Apparently they send me off for a week of training in the use of a kinara, then I’ll be shipped out to the front lines. It is expected that I will be deployed until the last of the Christmas decorations are taken down. Probably sometime after Easter. I’ll try to keep in touch, but war is hell.

Turned water into rum.

Or Cuervo. Not that it would be difficult.

Fuck. I meant Corona.

Can I take a nap?

Classic Seder on the Majority Report podcast today. It’s a vintage call of his giving shit to the Kentucky creationist museum guy. Oh, I laughed.

Turned water into rum.

Then why is it gone?

Arsenic-based life forms? Wha?

omg…”…people hunting dinosaurs…there’s still a dinosaur in Africa” I’m dying. DYING.

For the wonky among us, an explanation of just how badly the R’s want to fuck us with their fancy-pants tax cuts for the rich.

Shorter: a lot.

I’ll be watching It’s a Zombieful Life with undead Jimmy Stewart.

Frosty The Snowzomb here.

Then why is it gone?

Turned water into rum.

Doing the opposite is easy. Drink a bunch of rum then just wait.

NO NAPPING!

OK, I’m not scarce now. Wanna know why? Cuz I’m doing everything possible to avoid painting hair. Painting hair SUCKS.

Can I take a nap?

*fluffing lap*

*fluffing lap*

You can fluff yourself? Wow.

*fluffing lap*

You’re your own fluffer?

PENIS.

DAMMIT

Also, FYWP, I am not posting too fast.

I’ll be watching It’s a Zombieful Life with undead Jimmy Stewart.

Frosty The Snowzomb here.

I’ve always been partial to “The Little Zombie Boy.”

I’ve always been partial to “The Little Zombie Boy.”

Pa rumpa pa BRAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

“*fluffing lap*

You’re your own fluffer?”

Well, you know what they say about why a dog licks his balls…..

Zombie the Snowman!

Zombies we have heard on high
Slowly shambling o’er the plains
Lurching under darkened skies
Grunting out their chorus BRAAAAAAAINNNNNSSSSSS!

Awright, Pelosi!

What kind of newborn enjoys some douchebag kid making a racket on his shitty drum, anyway?

Awright, Pelosi!

Thank God for her. So the House is finally crushing the Bush tax cuts? Amen.

Now all that needs to happen is for the Senate to concur, right? Dear Senators, for once in your lives, please don’t fuck this up.

In unrelated news, John McCain is still a filthy excuse for dipshit; http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20101202/ts_yblog_thelookout/mullen-fires-back-at-mccains-dont-ask-criticism

My disgust that I actually considered voting for this guy is outweighed only by my delight that I didn’t.

Arsenic-based life forms?

I just love the name “Pinholster”

Worthy of Mervyn Peake

Where’d everyone go? I used my deoderant this morning, I swear.

Rumproast is hoppin’ today.

Chris be double glad about your non-vote. Check Kos Dec. 2 out.

What kind of newborn enjoys some douchebag kid making a racket on his shitty drum, anyway?

Track Two.

My disgust that I actually considered voting for this guy is outweighed only by my delight that I didn’t.

If it had been the 2000 version, I would have given it serious thought.

If it had been the 2000 version, I would have given it serious thought.

That’s why. I was hoping the guy could stop the GOP’s slide into insanity and, maybe, give me an opposition party that wasn’t batshit insane even if it was still wrong.

His actual campaign dashed that hope awfully damn quick.

Chris be double glad about your non-vote. Check Kos Dec. 2 out.

Ahhhh, the voice of Republican Arizona. Somewhere in his grave, Barry Goldwater’s going to be sick.

I wonder if actor gets fluff all over after the…um, climax of his fluffing.

That’s why. I was hoping the guy could stop the GOP’s slide into insanity and, maybe, give me an opposition party that wasn’t batshit insane even if it was still wrong.

He may not be batshit, but he’s always been an unscrupulous douchebag hack (in other words, a Republican), so I could never figure out why everyone acted like he lost all his integrity in 2008.

I wonder if actor gets fluff all over after the…um, climax of his fluffing.

If you’re asking if I tug on her hair, yes.

tug on her hair, yes

You pull Fluffies hair?

he’s always been an unscrupulous douchebag hack

And in 2000, when he sold out his daughter to curry party favor, he crossed the line to super-douchery.

Speaking of Rumproast, poor Piper.

O/T — or is it — apparently the fear police are concerned that the Washington Monument is open to the public:
http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/12/close_the_washi.html
It’s like we’ve become a nation of concern trolls.

It’s like we’ve become a nation of concern trolls whiny-ass titty babies.

Fixdiddly to reflect the depths of our pusillanimity.

I definitely think there is a sense of desperation coming from McCain. His notorious flipping is catching up with him. He’s debased himself so much on the national stage, there are few people who trust or believe him anymore. Certainly few people like him. It’s always has been and always will be all about John McCain. He cheated on his first wife while she was gravely ill with a young blond who had a Daddy Beerbucks. His father-in-law pushed him into running because Arizona was “easy”. He doesn’t know know how do anything except be a politician. He has no life except the power being a Senator brings. I think mortality and his legacy are starting to frighten him deeply.

Caption contest, huh?

Sarah Palin, working on a new strategy to endear herself to the public, emulates remaining scandal-free daughter.

Snort said,
December 2, 2010 at 21:54

Well gee. Sounds like you’re describing Joe Lieberman. Funny, that.

Sounds like you’re describing Joe Lieberman

Who?

Sounds like you’re describing Joe Lieberman

Who?

Supposedly McCains first choice for VP. GOP honchos shot that down.

GOP honchos shot that down.

From a helicopter

GOP honchos shot that down.

From a helicopter

Using Trig dangling from a strut as bait.

“Not now sweetie; mommy’s pandering to the yokels.”

“Not now sweetie; mommy’s pandering to the yokels.”

You don’t think she just wouldn’t tell Todd to shut his adulterous ass up?

“A four dollar and fifty cent dress ON A WIRE HANGER?”

And I’m spent.

And I’m spent.

That first card. She looks like she sprung a leak….

“A four dollar and fifty cent dress ON A WIRE HANGER?”

Oh, shit. She is TOTES Mommy Dearest, isn’t she?

Except that Joan Crawford had ability in her chosen field of work.

And better eyebrows.

Except that Joan Crawford had ability in her chosen field of work.

And Palin doesn’t? I’ve never seen anyone so nakedly willing to whore herself and her family out…sure sounds like she’s a very successful madam to me!

Mamma Grizzlies got Pipers Christmas gift all wrapped.

(it’s real)

“Mommy, vs keeps shoving her breasts down my throat.”

“Shhhh, it’s not nice to complain, puddlewump.”

“I’m not complaining, it’s just that actor’s not getting any…”

“…caribou are the social workers of the animal world…”

Zebras are reactionaries,
Antelopes are missionaries,
Pigeons plot in secrecy,
And hamsters turn on frequently.

“I’m not complaining, it’s just that actor’s not getting any…”

Does it show? I was hoping to end 2010 with a bang…