It is with both great pride and bedwetting fear that I bring you not one, but TWO new columns from the Christian Worldview Network. Let’s begin with our rookie of the year, Coach Dave Daubenmire:

Endowed by Our Creator?

I’ve just returned from 4 days on the streets in Jackson, Mississippi, fighting abortion with Operation Save America. Despite what you read in the press, OSA is a group of God fearing, Christ honoring, and patriotic Americans.

Yes, Operation Save America are just a bunch of God-fearing Americans who spend their time conducting funerals for aborted fetuses in public parks, burning copies of the Koran, and being denounced by Jerry Falwell for being too crazy… and that’s just within the last month!

They are not a street mob, as many would have you to believe, but faithful, gentle Christians who hate what is happening to America.

Yessir, just a buncha normal folks:

The Rev. Flip Benham, the leader of Operation Save America, bristled at those who might question showing a fetus to children.

“This does not traumatize our children,” Benham said. “This traumatizes the adults who would hide the horrors of abortion.”

And now, back to Coach Dave:

If you are a regular reader of my commentaries you know that I am not a conspiracy nut, or obsessed with the New World Order, although I believe both elements are at work in our nation.

Hey, I believe conspiracy nuts are at work in our society too- heck, I’m reading one right now!

I leave the exposing of those forces up to other, more qualified, writers.

I.e., well-read conspiracy nuts.

Make no mistake; however, something is seriously amiss in America.

That sentence wins this week’s “Golden”… Grogan, Award for the most innovative use of puncuation in an op-ed piece.

Unless you have been where I have been, and seen what I have seen, please don’t write me off as another black-helicopter guy.

“I been in them black helicopters m’self, so I ain’t crazy, sucka!”

Trust me, America is in serious trouble. We are about one step from a police state.

“But I’m not a conspiracy theorist! I swear!”

OK, let’s skip around a bit:

The purpose of government, as expressed by our founders, was to protect our God-given rights. It is crucial to understand this premise found in the declaration, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights. Our rights come from our Creator, not from government. If the government can give rights, then it follows that it can take rights. If God gave us the rights, then only God can take the rights. The purpose of government is to make sure your rights are protected. God is the restrainer of tyrannical government.

By this logic, shouldn’t Iran be the most free country in the world?

Acknowledging God keeps our leaders honest. The belief that there is an ultimate authority to which they are personally accountable keeps the power-hungry in check.

Indeed. Just ask Ralph Reed.

But if God is no longer over government, to whom are our leaders accountable? America is teetering on the edge of tyranny.

What happens if God is removed from the picture? What happens if America and American law becomes secularized?

Uh, Coach Dave? Our law has always been secularized. We don’t have national laws against lying or disrespecting your parents.

What happens when they tell us that there is separation of church and state and we must keep our Faith to ourselves? What happens when “One nation under God� no longer acknowledges God? If God is not acknowledged, and government becomes the granter of rights, then who keeps an eye on “government�?

Uh, the voters?

Pastor Ed Martin is in his mid 60’has given his life to defending the unborn. This gentle, God-fearing Christian man is nearly penniless, having spent all he has in defense of the unborn. This loving, grand-pa like man was arrested for carrying a 8-foot cross on the sidewalk in Jackson. You must look at this picture. He was arrested for “failing to obey a lawful order�.

I.e., obstructing traffic and protesting in a residential neighborhood without a permit.

Dr. Patrick Johnston a family practitioner from Ohio was arressted for holding a sign. Look at this man’s family. Do they look like a mob to you? What was he arrested for? You got it. “Failure to obey a lawful order.� If government gives rights, then government can take them. God endowed Dr. J with the right to hold those signs on the streets of America, and God’s “lawful order� is above the Jackson police.

Above: Dr. J, whom God has endowed with the right to
school goofy white guys on the court.

Selective law-enforcement, that is what is going on in America. See, abortion is wrong because “our creator� endowed all of us with the right to life. No “lawful order� can take that right away.

Ever hear of the death penalty, Coach Dave?

“Lawful orders� is another term for selective justice. The police officers give an order, enforce it, and then look for a law on the books that they can use to justify their “lawful order�. I couldn’t care-less if it is lawful. Is it Constitutional?

Man do I have a headache. Let’s skip over to the Reverend Creech’s column, shall we?

North Carolina Judge Lowers Great Moral Standard

By Rev. Mark H. Creech

A sheriff’s dispatcher in Pender County, North Carolina, Deborah Hobbs was living with her boyfriend when Sheriff Carson Smith ordered her to marry, move out, or give up her employment. Hobbs decided to quit.

Incensed, she said in a statement: “I just didn’t think it was any of my employer’s business whether I was married or not, as long as I was good at my job …. I couldn’t believe that I was being given this ultimatum to choose between my boyfriend or my livelihood because the sheriff was enforcing a 201-year-old law that clearly violates my civil rights.”

The American Civil Liberties Union took up Hobbs’ case, challenged the law’s constitutionality — and won. State Superior Court Judge Benjamin Alford of New Bern struck down the law, citing the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which knocked down Texas sodomy statutes and declared a right to sexual privacy.

The ruling by Judge Alford doesn’t apply statewide and wouldn’t unless it should be upheld by the Court of Appeals. It currently only affects those involved in the litigation, which includes the Pender County Sheriff’s Department, Sheriff Carson Smith, Ben David, the district attorney for Pender County, and North Carolina’s Attorney General, Roy Cooper. Still, the judge’s ruling clearly undermined the law and will likely result in its repeal or its never being enforced.

To recap: some nutcase sheriff fires one of his dispatchers for living with her boyfriend. The woman sues, arguing that her private life was none of her boss’ business. In a victory for the forces of sanity nationwide, the woman won the suit. But now the Reverend Creech is upset because it means that the government can no longer fire employees for living with people whom they’re not married to. Let’s keep in mind that this is the vision of government the Christian Right wants to have enforced. They may be focused on abortion and gays right now, but if they win those battles, they’ll surely come after cohabitation next.

Judge Alford’s decision was judicial activism at its best. The state’s lawyers rightly argued Hobbs didn’t have standing in the case because she never had even been charged with a crime. Moreover, legal experts still debate the meaning of the Lawrence v. Texas case and how it applies to state law.

Nevertheless, the most egregious effect of the judge’s ruling was that it lowered a great moral standard. The North Carolina Family Policy Council, in a policy paper titled, “Living Together: How Cohabitation Undermines Marriage and the Family [PDF],” writes:

“North Carolina has many laws reflecting the principle that sexual activity should be reserved for the marriage relationship. These include the crime against nature statute; the torts of alienation of affection and criminal conversation; the abstinence-until marriage law; and rape and incest laws. All of these state laws complement one another as part of a seamless state policy that emphasizes marriage as the appropriate context for sexual activity. At a minimum, North Carolina’s law prohibiting cohabitation sends the message that in this state, marriage is an institution that should be encouraged and protected. Out-of-wedlock sexual activity is responsible for the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases, unwed childbirth, abortion and a host of other social ills that, if left unchecked, create significant problems for the state. Promoting marriage and sexual activity within marriage is a policy that encourages what is best for society and, in turn, what is best for the state.”

So the North Carolina Family Policy Council actually wants to outlaw sex outside of marriage. Just let that sink in for a minute.

Judge Alford’s ruling is also significant as a reflection of the state’s departure from what traditionally has been its moral compass — the Judeo-Christian ethic. Of course, some would argue it’s never right to impose one’s morality on others by codifying it into law. Yet such is the very purpose of law.

In a theocracy, maybe. But in America, where our First Amendment says that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” that’s not the way things work.

No public policy or legislation operates in a moral vacuum. The law has always been the means by which cultures state their values and what it is they want to protect.

The Seventh Commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” which could also be correctly translated, “Thou shalt not commit sexual immorality,” is the Creator’s law — an eternal verity that guards the great institution of marriage, the sanctity of the family, and the preservation of society. God didn’t give this law simply because, as someone said, “Everything that’s fun is either fattening or sinful.” God gave this law because it’s the only way that sex works properly.

The less said about this, the better…

John Bisagno in his book, Positive Obedience, declares: “When sex is lifted from personal physical fulfillment into the bonds of the union and sanctity of marriage where two personalities are becoming one, then it becomes a physical expression of what it is designed to be. Then it is hallowed. Then it is holy.”

“Even the Dirty Sanchez and the Cincinnati Bowtie are holy under the bonds of marriage.”

“The physical act of sex is only five or ten percent of the whole, a blending of two beings into one. But where there is no commitment in marriage, but only the union of two bodies, then you have second best; then you have disappointment.”

And that leads us to the Bradrocket Creed: even disappointing sex is better than no sex at all.

Bisagno is right, and his premise is what more than four decades of research on cohabitation has confirmed. Jennifer Roback Morse in Why Not Take Her for a Test Drive? notes: “[R]esearch shows that cohabitation is correlated with a greater likelihood of unhappiness, and domestic violence in the relationship. Cohabitating couples report lower levels of satisfaction in the relationship than married couples. Women are more likely to be abused by a cohabiting boyfriend than a husband. Children are more likely to be abused by their mothers’ boyfriends than by her husband, even if the boyfriend is their biological father. If a cohabitating couple marries, they tend to report lower levels of marital satisfaction and a higher propensity to divorce.”

Even if all that is true (and I highly doubt that it is, since it comes from a Jennifer Morse book that objectifies women by equating them with cars), I still fail to see why it’s the government’s damn business.

How foolish to spurn and break God’s law, only to ultimately be broken by it.

There’s nothing I can add to that. My head really hurts. I’m goin’ to take a bath. Later.