Ok, I got out of the boat for the butt secks cupcakes, and I’m staying put for the rest of it.

Thanks, Jennifer – I was considering doing the same. The fetus-eating also sounds intriguing, but I think I will trust Tintin’s never-fail shorters.

If butt secks cupcakes are wrong, I don’t want to be right eat danish.

It’s 10:29 and I’m still TAG FAIL asleep.

Marx put it, “Win the battle of democracy!”

What? People voting for their own self-interest is a bad thing? That explains why they don’t do it enough.

Marx was right on a lot of things.

I imagine the cupcakes had chocolate frosting?

@N_B

Dammit man, what are you trying to say?

I’m planning on baking my entire fetus allotment into rainbow-iced cupcakes.

Dang. The cupcake story was worth the mangoes.

So basically, the bakery owner felt he had to harangue the gay group that wanted the cupcakes, rather than just turn down their order. And since they are on a month-to-month lease in a city-owned facility, the city is – quite rightly – considering whether they should continue to lease to them.

For Fisher, though, that’s Christaphobic hate – the hateful intolerance of the bakery’s right to intolerance.

How is Sunderland outplaying Man U?

It’s a crazy world in which we live.

What’s a brutha gotta do to get a Gavin post up in this piece?

Stockton, owner of Just Cookies, was approached by a local homosexual activist group to make a batch of cupcakes with rainbow frosting to help it celebrate “National Coming Out Day,” in which people who engage in sexually deviant conduct announce it proudly to the whole world. The “love that dare not speak its name” has now become the “love that shoves it in everybody’s face.”

If the first thing that you think about when you hear the words “National Coming Out Day” is a giant gay cock being shoved in your face you might want to re-think a few things.

Well, I was hoping the fetus-eating column would share some recipes, but instead it cites a slave-trader’s observations on the savagery of Africans. Oh well. And intellectual giant Joseph Sobran is apparently mortally ill, which is just a motherfucking shame alright.

It’s a crazy world in which we live.

Indeed.

Fischer’s just mad he can’t have a National Get Back In The Damn Closet You Filthy Faggot Day.

Then again, I guess for wingnuts every day is that.

In America we don’t make lampshades out of the skin taken from dead preborn babies, but we DO use their body parts to do clinical research!

We don’t make much of anything in America anymore. The last dead preborn baby skin lampshade I bought was made in China. It was cheap, but I felt kind of bad about the Americans who had lost their jobs.

Speaking of crazy world.

Insight into the tsammic mind:

Rough estimate of the number of pizzas delivered to my home in my life: 280.

Number of times I have scorched and blistered the roof of my mouth with molten cheese: 378.

Parents, do NOT have pizza delivered to your homes. It begins a lifetime of behavior that is of questionable intelligence.

British Prime Minister William Gladstone, unlike our progressive friends, knew excellence when he saw it, and better yet, was humble enough to praise the best constitution there ever was as ‘the best constitution there ever was,’

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!! Somewhere an English teacher is weeping.

British Prime Minister William Gladstone, unlike our progressive friends, knew excellence when he saw it, and better yet, was humble enough to praise the best constitution there ever was as ‘the best constitution there ever was,’

4th graders are masters at the “bestest-evar-so-suck-it” statements. They also don’t fuck around with all that faggoty capitalization biznass. That’s why they’re the real Americans–shit– real americans. There. Fixt.

Judie Brown: The ultimate goal of the pro-death abortion crowd is to be able to eat fetuses.

All right, which one of you motherfuckers told?

“Surely, the Obama curse has begun, and continues to grow,” Finnegan says, “along with deepening despair, as the curse hovers over the Notre Dame stadium.”

Maybe he should’ve gone with “Gonzaga basketball is cursed by Obama” angle instead. Notre Dame started being mediocre at football in the mid 90’s. The fact that they’re terrible this year has 0% to do with luck. Anybody who follows college football knows this guy is totally full of shit, so what’s the point in writing an article like this?

Notre Dame lost 9 bowl games in a row from 1995 (so maybe it was related to Lewinsky?) to 2007. Then, in Dec. 2008, shortly after Obama was elected, Notre Dame finally won one — beating Hawa’ii. (Then, their two best players went pro, so they’re back to totally sucking this year.)

I wish conservatives knew anything about anything. They seem to know about as much about football as they know about the bible — less than nothing.

They get BASIC FUCKING FACTS ABOUT FOOTBALL WRONG! To be honest, this gets me more pissed than assholes celebrating a gay teen suicide, which is at least consistent with their worldview and moral orientation (chaotic evil).

I don’t care if people don’t follow football. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t think it makes you less of an American. But why on earth would you lie about basic football facts? That’s just fucking weird and upsetting.

Perhaps this was because God had a hand in it, as some believed … and many still do. The man America fondly identifies as Father of Our Country, George Washington, in the week leading up to the Constitutional Convention confided to Gouvereur Morris his earnest hope that only the best Constitution, one they could afterward with integrity recommend and defend, would be offered to the people. He said with his typical faith in the Providential role of America: “The event is in the hand of God.”

Dumbass. When GW said that, he meant that it was up to factors that couldn’t really be predicted, not that an invisible magic guy would come down and fix the Constitution and make people approve it.

Like when doctors do all they can for a seriously ill patient, and one of them says “It’s in God’s hands now,” he or she means that they’ve done all that’s humanly possible, and it’s just time to wait and see, not that now they’re going to kneel down and pray God-Man to strike the dying patient with magic curing lightning.

How is Sunderland outplaying Man U?

It’s a crazy world in which we live.

Is there some way this could be Obama’s fault? He is less manly than George W. Bush, so that can’t be good for whatever a “Man U” is. And Sunderland sounds like Sudentenland, and we know who was also obsessed with the Sudentenland — Hitler! Who, if you’re not familiar with him, was basically the Obama of Germany of the late 30’s to mid 40’s, until he retired to start his own show on the History Channel.

An academic Rachel Maddow interviewed last night who has studied TeaTard freaks for the last 2 years and actually compares their beliefs with the early part of the nation’s history in reality calls them Founding Father Fundamentalists, who take the simple coloring book lectures they heard about the Founding Father Gods 30 years ago and believe that they are all Biblically true.

The Red Cross and Oxfam are now plotting with Osama bin Laden and probably should be struck by drones.

We already knew he was working with Al Gore and probably lives in Al Gore’s big house.

In a second audio recording in 24 hours, al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden said governments of Muslim nations have not done enough to help Pakistanis hit by floods that killed hundreds and displaced millions.

As in the earlier recording, bin Laden’s criticism was measured in the message released Saturday on militant websites. The tone contrasted sharply with past videos and recordings in which he and his deputies called for the leaders of Muslim nations like his native Saudi Arabia and Egypt to be overthrown.

By avoiding his familiar calls for attacks on the West and the toppling of U.S.-allied regimes in the Arab world and instead speaking of humanitarian causes like the floods in Pakistan and issues like climate change, bin Laden appears to be trying to broaden al-Qaida’s appeal beyond its traditional extremist support base.

Al Qa’ida: Now Kinder, Gentler, and With A Great New Recipe.

If he calls for more investment in solar and wind technology, and fast trains, as well as net neutrality and campaign finance reform, things will really get weird.

The cupcake shorter is too easy. Every Bryan Fischer shorter could be “________ makes me think about buttseks.”

Why, oh dear fucking why in the name of all that is right and just in this world, did I go for the mangoes?

They be rotted, I tells ya!

Verbatim Frank Maguire:

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war. There is nothing in the O.T. that foretells man’s capability, absent God, of securing earthly peace.

Shorter Frank Maguire:

The religious left aren’t real Christians because they focus on all that New Testament stuff that contains all the stuff Jesus said. Us real Christians can totally be down with war and capital punishment because we ignore that hippie shit.

And dear fucking god, what the hell is up with the formatting on that site? It’s like they get design tips from Stevie Wonder and a retarded* bonobo.

(*I’M NOT MAKING FUN OF DAVID BROOK–well … okay. Yes I am.)

Ok, I got out of the boat for the butt secks cupcakes

Oh, that one pulled you in as well, eh?

I know it’s a cliche to always trust the shorter, but fuck me…that shit is absolutely true.

But why on earth would you lie about basic football facts?

You ever hear an old man who can’t hear well speak? HE TALKS REALLY LOUD CUZ HE THINKS YOU’RE ALL DEAF TOO.

Did Fischer write “it’s not rocket surgery” deliberately, consciously? I don’t think he’s clever enough for that so I will mock him for fucking up the cliche.

All right, which one of you motherfuckers told?

It was me. There was cocaine and lesbian bondage…I just fucked up. Sorry.

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war. There is nothing in the O.T. that foretells man’s capability, absent God, of securing earthly peace.

So are we Jooz or Christians? I’m soooo confused!

If he calls for more investment in solar and wind technology, and fast trains, as well as net neutrality and campaign finance reform, things will really get weird.

Wish he’d do a reverse psychology. Recycling is an abomination to Allah! Mass transportation gives dangerous power to the infidel — we must jihad the supertrain! The Koran says you should run your air conditioner with the windows open! Wasting fossil fuels gives us more money to fight the infidel, so do it for Mohammed! &c.

You ever hear an old man who can’t hear well speak? HE TALKS REALLY LOUD CUZ HE THINKS YOU’RE ALL DEAF TOO.

You’ve met my uncle?

Wish he’d do a reverse psychology. Recycling is an abomination to Allah! Mass transportation gives dangerous power to the infidel — we must jihad the supertrain! The Koran says you should run your air conditioner with the windows open! Wasting fossil fuels gives us more money to fight the infidel, so do it for Mohammed! &c.

It’d be completely awesome if bin Laden would quote approvingly from Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin.

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war. There is nothing in the O.T. that foretells man’s capability, absent God, of securing earthly peace.

It’s almost as if human beings have become slightly more enlightened after seeking the light of God for thousands of years. It’s almost as if Jesus established a covenant of some sort of new kind.

Did Fischer write “it’s not rocket surgery” deliberately, consciously?

I dunno, but I’m stealing it.

In honor of this post, I’m going to be serving fetus-topped cupcakes at Notre Dame when I testify to a special Congressional field-trip about the potential judicial blowback from my upcoming Pixar blockbuster Sgt. Jesus Versus Teh Muslim-Homo Interweb-Nazis 3: This Time, It’s Personal on behalf of all my homies in the Democratic Marxism PAC.

A playa’s gotta represent, know what I’m sayin’?

It’s almost as if human beings have become slightly more enlightened after seeking the light of God for thousands of years. It’s almost as if Jesus established a covenant of some sort of new kind.

No to the first part, Yes (that’s what I read, anyway) to the second.

As Mitch the vampire said, “We’re all God’s children…God’s a bastard.”

re: Judie Brown- “fetus, don’t fail me now.”

Democracy inevitably leads to Marxism.

We can only hope. conversely, capitalism is inherently antithetical to democracy.

It was me. There was cocaine and lesbian bondage…I just fucked up. Sorry.

Well. That’s the last time I make an innocent little remark about fetuses being delicious and possibly good with a 2007 Syrah.

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war. There is nothing in the O.T. that foretells man’s capability, absent God, of securing earthly peace.

This is what happens when your Bible stops at Leviticus and picks up again at Revelation.

Speaking of crazy world.

Insight into the tsammic mind:

Rough estimate of the number of pizzas delivered to my home in my life: 280.

Number of times I have scorched and blistered the roof of my mouth with molten cheese: 378.

Parents, do NOT have pizza delivered to your homes. It begins a lifetime of behavior that is of questionable intelligence.

Nao wei. I had pizza delivered last, too. Banana peppers and tomatoes. I did not burn my mouth. I’m smarter than tsam! 😉

(siiigh) I finally built up my courage and went to find info about how to get my own schizophrenic/wingnut columns published at RenewAmerica. (I once spent a very bored summer after college writing crazy-person letters-to-the-editor with the aid of a deck of “Illuminati” cards — might take me a little time to re-learn the skills, but hey, free money from stooges, wheee!)

Anyway, can’t find anything on their site about how to contribute columns. Maybe they pick the craziest people out of their forums, but I’m not willing to go there…

Fetus nomnom.

Stockton, owner of Just Cookies, was approached by a local homosexual activist group to make a batch of cupcakes with rainbow frosting to help it celebrate “National Coming Out Day,” in which people who engage in sexually deviant conduct announce it proudly to the whole world. The “love that dare not speak its name” has now become the “love that shoves it in everybody’s face.”

If he bakes cupcakes why is his shop called “Just Cookies?” His cupcakes are LIES shoved in everybody’s face, possibly even rammed down their throats.

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war. There is nothing in the O.T. that foretells man’s capability, absent God, of securing earthly peace.

I’m pretty sure the “Religious Left” doesn’t believe it is to be secured absent God, otherwise they wouldn’t be the religious left.

he bakes cupcakes why is his shop called “Just Cookies?” His cupcakes are LIES shoved in everybody’s face, possibly even rammed down their throats

It amazes me how these die-hard Capitalists are too offended to take anybody’s sweet, sweet cash.

The Invisible Hand needs to bitch slap these Apostates.

But why on earth would you lie about basic football facts?

They are ignorant and lie about everything else, why not football?

They are ignorant and lie about everything else, why not football?

It’s a religion around here. But I was hoping they’d lie about NASCAR. Now, that would be making a statement!

Dammit man, what are you trying to say?

I want to butt secks a cupcake and eat a danish in the mellow afterglow.

Frank Maguire

Now there was a coach. Thought he was dead though.

I want to butt secks a cupcake

How do you locate the butt to secks it?

How do you locate the butt to secks it?

I will avoid answering with the obvious crudity of rolling it in dough and simply say: if you can’t find it, don’t secks it.

How do you locate the butt to secks it?

Follow the neck. The butt will be at the end of it.

“We’re all God’s children…God’s a bastard.”

Different mothers, huh… So racially he’s pretty cool?

The point about the old man being loud because he’s deaf relates to the assumption that limited intelligence can fool a person into thinking that everyone else is equally stupid. Poor little bitch probably thinks he does know something about football and life.

Liberals are like cannibals because Obama thinks like a Luo tribesman and soon will host fetus fricasse dinners at the White House!

De Soooooooouuuuuuuza!!!!!!!

So, Farrell’s obsessed with two things. One is the 17th Amendment, passed a hundred years ago, but for some reason a key problem caused by New Left activist judges, or something. (I wonder why he’s not up-in-arms about universal suffrage, too. I guess that comes later.) The second is his fever dream that the electoral college will be eliminated, forcing the electors to all vote for the overall winner. Now, this would be a fine thing, but in the modern polarized political climate of the US, so unlikely that this is like being afraid that the Sasquatch will tackle Santa Claus before he can put the presents under the tree.

Of Maguire, I will only point out that for many religious people, including that noted Religious Leftist His Nazi Holiness the Fucking Pope in Rome, the issue is not pacifism rejecting the doctrine of Just War, the issue is that the Iraq war WAS NOT JUST according to Just War doctrine. “Just War doctrine” is not equivalent to “We get to bomb the brown people whenever we like”.

that the Sasquatch will tackle Santa Claus before he can put the presents under the tree.

Leave Israel out of this!

Also “Jesus loved war and hated homosexuals.” is wrong.

Isn’t this what they really said:

“Jesus loved war and hates homosexuals who [sexual activity word] other homosexuals of the same sex.”

As we all know, Jesus doesn’t hate gay men who jump on lesbians. So long as they are married. And to each other, I mean. Ask any ex-gay. Tab A and Slot B. Sheesh, I feel like I’m talking to kindergarten.

Accuracy is all we ask for. Please take note. Thank you.

So cupcake (and muffin, I assume) stumps are the butts?

No wonder people prefer muffin tops.

How can you not like muffin tops?

BTW, 3 Extremes was great. The only people making more fucked up movies than the Japanese are the French.

I got out of the boat for Dopey Maguire, and it features him claiming that Jesus wasn’t anti-war because He said “I come not to bring peace but with a sword”, and then that SAME FUCKING PASSAGE is footnoted to say that Christianity is totes not violent like the Muzlin hordes, because Jesus was speaking metaphorically. Hey Mags? Plenty of people will tell you when footnotes are necessary, and I’m guessing “completely undermining the point you thought you were making” isn’t one of those times.

If the first thing that you think about when you hear the words “National Coming Out Day” is a giant gay cock being shoved in your face

Personally it makes me think of a half-grown alien bursting out through someone’s chest.
I would like to see that on a cupcake plz.

historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war.

Well no, the historical Old Testament unequivocally details Jehovah inciting his chosen people to invade and exterminate the erstwhile occupants of the land; if the proclivity was so natural, why does He have to work so hard to foster it?

… Wish he’d do a reverse psychology. Recycling is an abomination to Allah! Mass transportation gives dangerous power to the infidel — we must jihad the supertrain! The Koran says you should run your air conditioner with the windows open! Wasting fossil fuels gives us more money to fight the infidel, so do it for Mohammed! &c…

He probably HAS. The message is highly suspect; I wouldn’t put it past our Corporate Owners to have Bin Laden turn Climate Change believer in order to boost the Denier’s passions hate and rage.

“Blood Meridian” also details Man’s natural proclivity for war. I guess reading it is all the justification for pre-emptive war I need. Micronesia, I’m coming for you, you multi-ethnic, loosely confederated fuckers!

Gladstone, […] was humble enough to praise the best constitution there ever was as ‘the best constitution there ever was,’

The quotation is unknown to Teh Gazoogle and looks suspiciously fictitious.

Hey, that’s an awesome header. Really subtle and clever. In case it didn’t come up yet. I know this was a thing last time.

I’m a big Megan McArdle fan.

Judy Brownstain gets a great twofer with this:

Conneau was particularly struck by the ferocity of the women of the conquering tribe, who, their naked bodies decorated with chalk and red paint, gleefully led the gruesome festivities. The chief matron “bore an infant babe torn from its mother’s womb … which she tossed high in the air, receiving it on the point of her knife” before eating it. During the ritual this same woman was “adorned with a string of men’s genital parts” while “collecting into a gourd the brains of the decapitated bodies.”

This achieves a pair of scores at one time. First, it reminds us that the Negro is a savage (the ‘tribe’ in this instance is blackfellas); second, it reminds us that Cannibal Ferox is an awesome movie.

I rate for Jerry, and urge the English electorate to do likewise.

Damn, that was going to be Gladstone.

I totally want to see an American remake of Dumplings: Three Extremes. Just to watch the reactions of abject horror among certain members of our mouthbreather class. That alone would be worth it.

But instead of Chinese dumplings it would have to be a suitable American confection. Cupcakes, strawberry cupcakes with a special ingredient.

Re: the Frank McDire piece: he mentions “syncretist/panentheist/atheist acolytes.” Is that us?

“Panentheist”? What is that, how Palin pronounces “parentheses”?

RE:”The ultimate goal of the pro-death abortion crowd is to be able to eat fetuses.”
MY COMMENT: The new veal!

No, it’s a hind of herb bread from Italy.

kind of… dammit. PROOFREADER! Another gin.

“Wish he’d do a reverse psychology.”

I couldn’t find this on urban dictionary. Is this like a reverse Ricky Sanchez? You know, where you tase yourself repeatedly while talking backwards that “The Jews control CNN!”

Homo cupcakes are not right because they are not right.

Also, since “muffin” is slang for “vagina”, and cupcakes have some similarities to muffins but could never be called cupcakes, it is obvious that all cupcakes in general= buttsecks. QED, bitches.

*called muffins. Fuck.

a hind of herb bread from Italy.
Again the butt sex.

Gay cupcakes are the first step on the slippery slope to Cupcake Hitler, which is central to Jonah’s point.

Hey, TinTin, that’s an awesome Photoshop there!

And thanks for getting out of the boat because theren’t no F’in way I’m swimming in those idiot-infested waters.

Page two of that Village Voice article has a pic of Daddy Limbaugh™ in his sexytime leather jacket that is just screaming to be photoshoped.

a hind of herb bread from Italy.
Again the butt sex.
There may well be a village somewhere in Italy with a tradition of molding herb bread into the shape of a female deer. For the yearly fertility festival. And then the buttsex.

I think that might have been the plot of “The American”, actually.

I came for the butt sex, I stayed for the cannibalism.

The ultimate goal of the pro-death abortion crowd is to be able to eat fetuses.
In that connection, a Snopes thread.
I am impressed by the persistence of the allegation about cosmetics companies buying fetal tissue as a source of collagen; however many times it is refudiated, the anti-abortion nutters will keep reasserting it. They really really want it to be true.
Also interesting that the blame for this purported recycling of fetal tissue is laid solely on the evil Abortion Industry and not on the cosmetics companies or on the Free Market.

There are many colors in the Homo Cupcake. Don’t be afraid to let your colors shiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

One of the groups at the college I went to was selling vagina cookies and nobody made a stink about it.

My cookie would break you in half.

Does your cookie have rainbow sprinkles on it? Because Jesus hates that.

The ultimate goal of the pro-death abortion crowd is to be able to eat fetuses.

I daresay most of us would settle for cookies.

Why do all these homos keep licking my frosting?

Meanwhile, in the Failing Upward Department, I see that our old friend Gerard Van der Leun (best-known for “awareness of all internet traditions”, and for his first career as an author of “I never imagined it would happen to me” letters for the Penthouse column) is now Editor-in-Chief of the newly-funded Rightnetwork.com.

We cn has ridicule plz?

What Gladstone really said:

As the British Constitution is the most subtile organism which has proceeded from the womb and the long gestation of progressive history, so the American Constitution is, so far as I can see, the most wonderful work ever struck off by the brain and purpose of man.

Not quite the same as TEH. BEST. CONSTITUTION. EVAAAH!!!!!

British Prime Minister William Gladstone, unlike our progressive friends, knew excellence when he saw it

He made a good bag.

I want to butt secks a cupcake

How do you locate the butt to secks it?

Take the cupcake in both hands and gently pull them a little apart, you will see the crack.

“Panentheist”? What is that, how Palin pronounces “parentheses”?

I’ve seen it contrasted with pantheism. I think the difference is that while both think everything in the universe is part of God, pantheists think the universe and God are coterminous and panentheists think the universe is totally contained within God but there is more to him than that.

Personally it makes me think of a half-grown alien bursting out through someone’s chest.
I would like to see that on a cupcake plz.

That would reduce the likelihood of hot cupcake butt secks.

I think the difference is that while both think everything in the universe is part of God, pantheists think the universe and God are coterminous and panentheists think the universe is totally contained within God but there is more to him than that.

Of all the possible gods one could worship, a Venn diagram god seems somehow…lesser.

the universe is totally contained within God but there is more to him than that.

Yeah, God’s not just a hot piece of ass.

(Actually, God’s not only not just a hot piece of ass, it’s also a hot piece of not-ass, as well as all other pieces of ass, from hot to not and also not hot not ass. Also God taught the squirrels about the auto-fellatio. God invented it. As First Brother XXX put it, we worship an awesome God.)

Rocket surgery is far more common than I thought.

Julie Brown:

“Is there a connection between cannibalism and the abortion profiteers?”

No, not at [BURP] all.

Venn Diagram God is the union of all possible gods.

“Venn Diagram God is the union of all possible gods.”

I believe in napkin god who was sketched out on a bar napkin in a parallel universe. When some beer foam spilled on the napkin it created our universe. As proof I offer The Large-scale structure of the Universe.

Hey, it makes more sense than some.

Venn Diagram God is the union of all possible gods.

You are obviously an inclusive or schismatic. I believe in the true exclusive or.

The problem is diagramming the god that includes all other gods and the god that is not a part of anything.

Is it cheating to use two different pieces of paper?

Is the set of all gods god?

My rassin’ frassin’ brother left the cover off and we lost a few, so our set of all gods was incomplete. We made do with a few broken crayons and stolen checkers.

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man’s natural proclivity for genocide.
fixxored

Let us define “God” as the set of all things that are not God.
Whoops, paradox.

tintin: thanks for doing this. I couldn’t stand to actually read the babblings these “people” “write”.

Gotta catch ’em all!

What kind of Pokeball do you use for gods?

“Notre Dame’s football team is losing because the university has turned away from God and toward Obama”

*snort* The reason ND is losing is because they were too stupid (and prejudiced) to keep Tyrone Willingham as coach back in ’04. He was building a solid team and could have gotten ND the bowl wins it wanted the next season. But noooooooooo…. It’s been all downhill from there, and is a fate richly deserved.

What kind of Pokeball do you use for gods?

I believe a lot of Southern Baptists Pokeball via teabagging.

the god that is not a part of anything.

Splitter.

You find some of the weirdest goddamn shit on the Internet.

the god that is not a part of anything.

Splitter.

That’s like dividing by zero, isn’t it?

You find some of the weirdest goddamn shit on the Internet.

Let me guess, more of SMcG’s Dethklok lyrics?

You find some of the weirdest goddamn shit on the Internet.

AWESOME.

“The Universal party is about to start”

Will there be booze?

People let’s protect each other and our planetary place in the International Union of the Human Race
No matter the religion or the color of the face it’s the International Union of the Human Race.

There will be no need for scansion in the Utopia of the future.

I guess it does scan after all.

It sure as hell doesn’t LOOK like it.

(Can you imagine a couple thousand people all singing this? Yikes.)

“They don’t believe in Jesus!
They’ll give you diseases!”

Beat that, Mr. so-called “Lord” Tennyson.

I dunno. I’m thinkin’ that if all football teams became ubergodbotherers and Republican that some teams would still lose. Could be wrong, though. Is there a “Thou shalt score” commandment?

RE: Catching them all

A God has appeared!!

The obvious answer for which pokeball to use would be the Master Ball, since it never fails to catch. But what if Gods don’t obey pokeball physics, what then?
I’d say that in light of God Gundam vs. Devil Gundam, that if love is the ultimate weapon against an opponent with God-like powers, then perhaps the perfect foil, for the purposes of catching them all, is the Love Ball.

I’m just working on under the premise that love conquers all. Isn’t that romantic?

love conquers all

The penis, mightier than the sword.

Some notes about penises.

Ignore that and just go here:

http://jezebel.com/5652114/college-girls-power-point-fuck-list-goes-viral-gallery?skyline=true&s=i

SMcG – points were deducted for Canuckishness.

I guess I get a freebie for firing one off too early.

Bonus points for the presence of an Australian accent? WTF?

Come on, “vejoiner” is sexy.

I’m really disappointed that nobody has mentioned anything about homo nupcakes…

nupcakes

That sounds painful.

Some notes about penises.

Someone’s been taking a little too much inspiration from Mallrats. Amusing read, though the trite humor gets old fast.

renew america makes me sad. stupid people who want me to think like them make me sad. not enough sadly, no! makes me sad. why hast thou forsaken me, o mighty whatever?

As proof I offer The Large-scale structure of the Universe.

I see that and I can’t help but think the basic fabric of the universe is more like a foam.

And then I wonder is “time” how matter(us) ‘experiences’ that expansion?

Ok fine, I’ll stop bogarting.

Have you ever look at your foam? I mean, REALLY looked?

Well, I mean really?

Isn’t “Time” a bit fucking convenient?

A magic component of the Universe that breaks it down into unique measurable moments?

Have you ever looked at your foam? I mean, REALLY looked?

The tech keeps wiping it off before I can lock my stare on it.

A magic component of the Universe that breaks it down into unique measurable moments?

You’re talking to the wrong guy. I took the blue pill.

I had a greyhound layover in Portland, and of course the closest place to get a beer to ametropolitan greyhound would be a bar. The place was empty except for me at the bar , bartender an another table of about five guys.

Then another couple guys showed up with a large cake shaped like a penis.

They commenced to singing happy birthday.

They commenced to singing happy birthday.

I hope you called Warner Chappell.

We need a new birthday song.

Happy Birthday, today
Happy Birthday, today
Today’s your Birthday
Happy Birthday, todaaaaaayy!

Hopefully that’ll chap Warner’s ass!

Venn Diagram God is the union of all possible gods.
Someone posted this few threads back. It’s a nice primer to the armagedon characters in a readily consumable internet format with that has pokemon appeal.

link to god characters

I hope you called Warner Chappell.

Audible amusement noises. (Mostly ’cause I didn’t have to click to get it.)

Moving in that direction are two major attacks on the Constitution among so many others: First, the 17th Amendment, passed back in 1913, did away with that marvelous check for state rights wherein United States senators were elected by their respective state legislatures (and thus accountable to their state government’s interests) in favor of a popular vote by the people (making them but another version of the House, undermining that division of power between “the few” and “the many” and the national government and the state stage governments — a bad, bad mistake we are still paying for); and second, a movement to abandon the electoral college in favor of a national popular vote for President. This latter idea, if it succeeds (and it is gathering steam) will force every state elector to turn over his votes to the national popular winner rather than the candidate that the people of his state favored. The result, in fact, will be to tilt the power curve in favor of the big city, big state liberal vote.

This is the problem with conservative anti-government ideology in a nutshell; it’s never about protecting people from governments. It’s always about protecting amorphous institutions – states, corporations, etc – and the people who run them against the power of government. More precisely, against the power of the will of the people.

But when it comes to actually protecting individual human beings from the power of government, they’re nowhere to be heard from. For that, you always have to turn to liberals. (Case in point = civil rights).

Reading down the thread (didn’t have the patience to get off the boat for every one);

While declaring itself Christian, the [Religious Left] denies the historical Old Testament which, among other things, unequivocally details Man natural proclivity for war

The Old and New Testaments unequivocally detail Man’s natural proclivity for sin, you horse fucking idiot. It goes on to detail various rules again human sins. And while prohibitions on homosexuality were part of it, an obscure, little known, little quoted part of the Bible also mentions that “thou shalt not kill.” Which, you know, is what happens when people go to war.

Cont’d upon further reflection from post 1; see, this is also why the so-called “libertarian movement” is so full of shit and not, actually, libertarian.

If you understand libertarianism as empowering the individual against the state, then they fail. Because they’re not opposed to state power per se; only the federal government. And their solution to the federal government’s abuses is simply to kick the can down the road to the state governments. As if state governments couldn’t trample an individual’s rights as easily as any centralized government (ask the blacks).

But ask them about those abuses, and they couldn’t care less. Take gay rights; they’re outraged by the notion of the feds forcing state governemnts to recognize gay marriage (something that hasn’t actually happened, btw), but they’re nowhere to be found when the state governments take it upon themselves to ban gay marriage (something that actually intrudes on the rights of a living breathing human being, and is also actually happening). As far as they’re concerned, state power can trample individual rights any time it wants to, as long as it’s one level of state power and not the other that’s doing it.

Real libertarianism, whatever its shortcomings may be, is about protecting the rights of people. That’s not what “libertarians” today are about. There, it’s just a turf war over who gets to do the oppressing. (Not unlike conflicts in Old Europe between kings and their nobles).

Let me show you your tits.

Also very easy for a state gov’t. to be completely under the control of a very few individuals or corporate entities.

Show you your …

I wouldn’t get new ones if they didn’t have nipples. What the hell’s the matter w/ that guy? Fucking moron doctors.

Ah, lovely. I just returned from a wonderful neighborhood gathering with my resident Mexlamofascists. We enjoyed a delicious repast of roasted fetuses (feti?) finished off with a dessert of rainbow decorated profane cupcakes!

Thank Satan!

More precisely, against the power of the will of the people.

Every time I hear some asshat trot out “Government is the problem” as received wisdom and irrefutable truth, all I can think is “Why do you hate America?” Last time I checked, we were supposed to have government of, by and for the people. Y’know, democracy. (Okay, a constitutional republic, but you know what I mean.) If you hate the government, you hate Americans. You hate the Founding Fathers and their fine plan for this nation. How these fuckwits have managed to get away with conflating patriotism and anarchy simply amazes me.

Because they’re not opposed to state power per se; only the federal government.

They’re not actually opposed to federal power in and of itself. That’s largely for show. They’re opposed to federal power they don’t control. As soon as they get their mitts on the wheel, it’s full steam ahead, now isn’t it? They get the vapors just as badly anytime a State does anything they disagree with also. There’s not really a difference.

The wikipedia article is worth reading just for the presentation of the lyrics of “Happy Birthday”.

RE: Electric Sheep (tangent from Apocamon)

I remember reading this one back in the 90s. I really loved the panel(s) on the side of the earth.

Last time I checked, we were supposed to have government of, by and for the people. Y’know, democracy. (Okay, a constitutional republic, but you know what I mean.) If you hate the government, you hate Americans.

Yeah, and you also hate yourself. All these complaints about the government being dysfunctional – yeah, why do you think it’s dysfunctional? How do you think all those crooks got into power? Easy; you voted them in.

The result, in fact, will be to tilt the power curve in favor of the big city, big state liberal vote.

Cities don’t vote. People vote. And a lot of people happen to live in and around cities.

More people live in the New York metropolitan area than the populations of Mississippi, Alabama and Arkansas combined.

Yet we’re always told that the rural South is the “Real America”.

Hey Major King,

Tyranny of the majority, argle bargle, shutup that’s why!!

Tyranny of the majority, argle bargle, shutup that’s why!!

I love how they explain rural, lightly populated areas’ overrepresentation in Congress as “well, but the Founders didn’t want them to be trampled by the majority. Don’t you see? It’s brilliant!”

And pray tell, how is giving a disproportionate share of the vote to the rural areas – giving them “special privileges,” as the saying goes – any different from giving affirmative action to people in the inner city?

I know, right? But again, shut up that’s why!!

This is where those nocturnal fantasies of two-state solutions come from. You know, Real America is so goddamn awesome, how about you just secede and we quit subsidizing your asses. Of course, this carves “fake America” Into a weird U-shape that kind of connects the coasts with a tiny land-bridge across the crunchiest, northern mid-west states.

(And to be clear, I should say more ‘convex’ rather than ‘U-shaped’, but I think you get my drift.)

Yes, with some 80% of Americans living in urban areas, clearly Rural America is Real America and that 20% should be able to determine everything about how the 80% live and die, because FREEDOM THAT’S WHY YOU TRAITOROUS LIEBERALS!!!

Besides, just sound it out like you have a head full of wood alcohol and it’s obvious. RuralAmerica=RealAmerica, shee!

Then another couple guys showed up with a large cake shaped like a penis.

They commenced to singing happy birthday.

How did they know it was your birthday?

We have several examples of penis cakes at our blog. We even have a penis cake tag.

Judie Brown quotes a historian who. living two hundred years after the Iroquois joined colonists, could not have viewed such atrocities. Yet he wrote as though there were any other references but himself. We know today there are not any.

Mengle… Nazis killed those involved in abortions. WTF.

And then she’s outraged about this lack of evidence there’s any fetus ‘parts’ being sold.

Ugh. I went out of the boat and I was so wrong to do so. x-x

penis cake tag

You’re it!

Well, now that’s how you kill a thread.

Sorry, been busy.

penis cake tag

You’re it!

Not dead, I laughed!

Bon Abortit has the best fetus recipes…

Judie Brown quotes a historian who. living two hundred years after the Iroquois joined colonists, could not have viewed such atrocities.

She seems to be quoting someone called Sobran; Sobran in turn is plagiarising an earlier amateur historian, Kevin Beary. Beary quotes Parkman for a description of the Iroquois, and a ex-slave trader’s self-exculpatory memoirs for a description of Africa,* in order to argue that Native Americans and Africans were such bloodthirsty savages that Europeans should not feel guilty for exterminating and enslaving them. Sobran keeps the words but turns the polemic in the direction of enforced pregnancy propaganda.

* Written many years after his slave-trading career when he was hard-pressed for funds, for a publisher who wanted a best-seller, in collaboration with a ghost-writer who added corroborative details to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. Later historians have had a lot of fun identifying the various literary sources for the atrocities.that Conneau describes.

How is Sunderland outplaying Man U?

hookers & blow

How is Sunderland outplaying Man U?

hookers & blow

Can’t be. Hookers are in rugby.

Got out of the boat for the Marxism=democracy mangoes, and would say the shorter should be;

“USA, fuck yeah, ’cause god wrote our constitution”…….

[as a devil worshipping, gay abortion providing, dope smoking, Eurotrash porn lover, I have to note that the belief that god helped you guys with writing a legal document ranks way up there……. with UFO’s, pixies and zombies……]

How is Sunderland outplaying Man U?

Sheer force of karmic retribution for Nani being a cheating asshole in every single game?

Can’t be. Hookers are in rugby.

oh dear, the old ones are the best……. although Ronney’s absense due to the 2009 hooker revelations are part of the explanation…

it should also be noted that Man U. also recently recruited a Mexican, help for the blow supply?

oh dear, the old ones are the best

On that note, let me simultaneously thank you for the inspiration and blogwhore.

Rugby has hookers, soccer has inverted wingers.

And Manchester United hasn’t won on the road this season.

All part of God’s great plan.

On a slightly cheerier note, Joseph Sobran may be kicking the bucket soon. I stopped reading his column 20 years ago when the local paper dropped it. Is he still as much of an asshole now as he was back then?

And I guess compared to Judie Brown, he IS an intellectual giant.

Whoever this Sobran guy is, his column has been syndicated across umpteen dozen websites of the compulsory-pregnancy catholic variety, none of which seem to be concerned by the author’s overt racism (“By tolerating the Abortion Holocaust, we are worse savages than the Africans and native Americans!!”) and plagiarism.

Some of them describe Sobran in the past tense, i.e. the bucket has been kicked. Evidently Judy did not read very far when she decided to recycle his column.

Impressively, the first lie of Sobran’s column is in the first feckin’ sentence: “a slave trader named Theophilus Conneau kept a journal of his experiences in Africa”. This is not only untrue (Conneau wrote his account from memory 20 years later), but patently unlikely, since he was an illegal slave-trader, under threat of arrest any time; why would he document his crimes as evidence against himself?

Yep, he died September 30th. He was also an anti-Semite, and a homophobe, and a misogynist.
I’ll bet you’re all SHOCKED by that, hmm?

Also an “Independent Historian” (i.e. an amateur revisionist) and a mate of David Irving’s. Also a Bill Buckley protege, albeit one who was thrown out of the Movement for continuing with the antisemitism at a time when Buckley thought it was politically expedient to soft-pedal.

According to the Wiki, Sobran described himself as a “theo-anarchist.”

OK, I give up. How can theocracy and anarchy be combined successfully?