Irony 1, Patterico 0
Posted on August 5th, 2010 by D. Aristophanes
Andrew Breitbart’s boy ward Patterico, worried about an upcoming LA Times profile of the Big Sleaze, cautions his bossman:
Andrew, I have one piece of advice for you: record your interview. Unless you want to see pieces of the interview bubble up in distorted fashion in a future Rainey column.
Live by the out-of-context quote, die by the out-of-context quote? One can only hope.
Pattycakes has the self-awareness of a sea slug.
Context? Breitbart?
Bwahahahahahahaha!
PS – at this point, the only way anyone could “smear” James “I Pull Phony Scandals Out Of My Butt For A Living” O’Keefe is with a turbocharged steamroller. His “career” began as the journalistic equivalent of a ladies’-room peeper in a crusty overcoat with cut-off pant-legs taped to his knees – & then somehow went downhill from there.
Breitbart is now communicating by wet farts.
“Bubble up” is the kind of metaphor one associates with seabed methane releases.
Patterico:
“Andrew, I have one piece of…d…o…o…d…y…in…you…r…c…um…”
It’s right there, folks. And it would be irresponsible not to speculate.
There’s no need to quote LightFart out of context. Every time he opens his mouth, perfect pearls of fReichtard whizdumb patter to the ground.
One of his commenters almost outdoes him:
most people believe, forever, the first thing they hear.
This makes sense. The first thing Breitbart would have heard was the obstetrician insulting his mother.
I’m not sure that recording will prevent the soundbiting; provable truth can’t outrun the speed of innuendo, and most people believe, forever, the first thing they hear.
Not conservatives, though. They may have believed it when they first heard the words “deficits don’t matter,” “invading Iraq is a bad idea,” and “Islamic radicalism in Afghanistan is a good idea,” but they stand before you as changed men, old boy.
At least until the next pendulum swing requires them to be once again at war with Eurasia.
“provable truth can’t outrun the speed of innuendo, and most people believe, forever, the first thing they hear.”
Internets comment, or an excerpt from Pastor Swank’s remake of “The Matrix”?
can’t outrun the speed of innuendo
ALWAYS WITH THE BUTTSECKS
can’t outrun the speed of innuendo
ALWAYS WITH THE BUTTSECKS
You were looking for the Speedo of Innuendo: room 714A, down the hall.
I’m not sure that recording will prevent the soundbiting; provable truth can’t outrun the speed of innuendo, and most people believe, forever, the first thing they hear.
Sounds like I need to adjust someone’s irony meter.
As in, the irony of someone warning Andrew Breitbart that his words might be taken out of context via soundbite, when that has been the basis of his so-called “career”.
Also too, w/r/t the ruling on Prop 8 – I was reading over the last thread, and correct me if I’m wrong, but this ruling is based on the fact that Prop 8 was in violation of the California state constitution, not the US Constitution. Or have I misunderstood? That, after all, is why same-sex marriage was allowed prior to the passage of Prop 8. So our mouth-breathing brethren, besides being worthless sacks of shit, seem to misunderestimated how it is you go about amending a state constitution, which cannot be done by passing a mere referendum, but only by passing a constitutional amendment.
Am I all wrong on this? Because if I’m not, I can’t see SCOTUS weighing in on this. It’s been pretty strongly established that a mere state law can’t trump a state constitution any more than a federal law can trump the US constitution.
My bad. I guess the referendum was in fact a measure to amend the state constitution. In my state, they refer to these as “constitutional amendment #whatever” not “proposition #whatever.”
Never mind.
You’re almost there Jennifer. Previously, a proposition was struck down because of the CA state constitution. Hence you had some marriages. Prop 8 was a CHANGE to the CA constitution-yes, we’re so effing st00pid here that you can change the state constitution by referendum. Anyway, so Da Judge was saying that due to US Constitution, you can’t alter the state constitution by referendum. In this case.
DAMMIT
I for one would love the Times to do Breitbart straight. It’d be a cakewalk to show, through example after example, what a horrible, lying sack of shit he is; then they could put him on the air and just let him talk.
*brushes hands*
No more Breitbart.
Has Sadly, No? ever covered a guy named David Klinghoffer?
This article seems worth dissecting:
http://articles.latimes.com/2010/aug/01/opinion/la-oe-klinghoffer-conservatism-20100801
The last paragraph, in particular, gives me the vibe that he’s mad at modern wingnuts for making overt what has been covert for decades.
Sounds like I need to adjust someone’s irony meter.
Snarkentologist?
Given Hollywood’s known gay librul commonist bias, Breitbart has to be aware that the videocameras themselves will lie about what he says. Only conservative, Palin-designed cameras and recording equipment built to self-edit against gotcha questions should be used.
The comments at Pitterco are ripe with tasty, tasty mangoes. The kind of mangoes that you can only “buy” with a two-headed coin attached to a string.
Re. David Klinghoffer’s complaint that the Bircherite American Liberty Leaguer Militia Neo-Confederates lead the GOP formally instead of just practically:
That’s certainly a true statement. “As ever.”
After all, there’s some sort of law where we’re all supposed to agree that the racist snob hack who wrote God and Man at Yale and sneered at the Civil and Voting Rights movements is some sort of valued American political mind, simply because he thought it would be contrary to the GOP’s interests to be run by the Birchers.
And instead two generations of Republican victories were dependent upon the migration to the GOP of anti-civil rights conservative Southerners, led by the same neo-Confederate anti-government chaoticists Klinghoffer whines against now.
Yes, the complaint is that the people on whom the GOP depended are now its open leaders.
Yeah. Conservatism — your choice for anti-materialist sophistication.
Patrick Frey chooses weird creatures to adopt as pet causes: Breitbart, the criminal O’Keefe, that strange radio guy who did some whiny, weak-ass protest at UCLA (USC?) and who made a spectacular ass out of himself on that TV dating program. All of them fairly pathetic, not much except crazy circus stunts to keep them going.
It’s almost as though Frey’s got a soft spot for special-needs individuals, which is indeed laudable and which would also go a long away towards explaining DRJ and some of the other posters there.
Yeah. Conservatism — your choice for anti-materialist sophistication.
That line gave me the feeling that Klinghoffer thinks the Enlightenment was a mistake but doesn’t want to admit it openly.
And “[Conservatism’s goal] was, and still is, with those who remember, to save civilization” sounds like he’s trying oh-so-very hard to say “Those uppity coloreds and queers have pushed me out of my comfort zone!” without actually sounding like the wingnuts he supposedly disavows.
Yeah, that worked great with that Limbaugh guy and the Beck fella, also.
Someone – Angry Geo maybe? – wrote the other day that Dough-Bob had killed irony and Steve Spruiell was humping the corpse. I guess Patterico wanted some sloppy seconds.
pieces of the interview bubble up in distorted fashion
Tragically, my mind is still occupied by Gary Larson-style images of a gang of tropical fish swimming in front of a fun-house mirror and farting in order to watch the distorted bubbles. Well, that and three pints of IPA.
I am easily amused.
Oh, boy.
http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/an-all-purpose-paradigm-the-wests-absurd-claims-of-israeli-racism/
So, if the KKK accepted people of British and German and Swedish descent equally, did that mean they’re not a racist organization? Is al-Qaeda a model of tolerance because it accepts Arabs, Chechens, Pakistanis? Idiot.
Oh yes. So ignored that when President Obama dared to call al-Qaeda “racist” the other day, there was nothing but howls of protest from the right wing.
Or is that not the “media” you’re talking about?
Or is that not the “media” you’re talking about?
These are not the media you’re looking for.
These are not the media you’re looking for.
They can go about their business. (Not that they wouldn’t have anyway).
In addition. http://www.flickr.com/photos/st3f4n/3951143570/
Exactly. The ability of Ethiopian Jews to get low paid jobs as waiters in Israeli restaurants completely undercuts any arguments about Israeli racism of any type.
Uh oh — seems like it’s time to add Poland to the axes of evils:
I mean, what kind of repressive, pro-Al Qa’ida country is it when Israel can’t forge European nation passports in order to stage assassinations in other countries?
We won’t stand for this Polack menace.
Pam Gellar herself will lead our armies of rightblog righteousness to expose the threat of Pole power.
From the PJM article, submitted without comment:
In fact, Israelis are far less interested than other countries about people’s ancestral travels.
Jonah Goldberg (my emphasis):
One and one don’t make two, one and one make one.
Patterico, or as he’s known around my parents’ summer place, “The Poor Man’s E$” is a straight-up chump. Last month that dunny rolled through a club out in the colony he knows perfectly well is one of E$’s hangouts. Guess he was looking for some secondhand shine or something. Anyway I was picking out which Progressive girl was going to be kissing me where later that night when Patterico shambles right past wearing, swear to God, a pair of Florsheim loafers and a tie from Brooks Brothers. All your homey Ezra did was snicker but Yglesias was like “Damn, who’s the bitchass chump who buys his clothes at the Preppy K-Mart?” Patterico, dogg, when even motherfucking Yglesias is scoring points off you, it’s time to hang it up. Go into the blogger protection program, crony, you done.
In fact, Israelis are far less interested than other countries about people’s ancestral travels.
Christ. Show me one other people anywhere on this earth who think land claims remain unexpired after 2,000 years.
Just one.
I’m surprised that Breitfart doesn’t record his interviews as a matter of course. I swear, the man could have been Nixon, he’s that paranoid.
Show me one other people anywhere on this earth who think land claims remain unexpired after 2,000 years.
I think I can meet your challenge.
Christian fundies support Israel’s claim on
Ground Zero for Armageddonthe Promised Land.From Pittyrico:
Alternatively, you shmuck, she might actually have given O’Keefe the quote originally, which he was embarassed by, and then realized you two were FUCKING LOONS.
Yeah, that worked great with that Limbaugh guy and the Beck fella, also.
Sadly enough, I think Breitbart is actually *less* charming than Beck or Limbaugh. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it is…
Love the Proposition 8 commentary on your blog, actor.
In fact, Israelis are far less interested than other countries about people’s ancestral travels.
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee when I read this.
Thanks, Chris.
Ezra, I want to be your next Prog Girl.
This story might have gotten lost in all the hubbub over the Prop 8 ruling. It seems that Mayor “9/11” has parenting issues.
ON topic: Don’t get your panties in a twist, Pittyrico.
I think Breitfart’s got the whole interview angle covered
Con man proves there’s a Teabagger born every minute.
This story might have gotten lost in all the hubbub over the Prop 8 ruling. It seems that Mayor “9/11? has parenting issues.
Why would you steal a hairnet from Sephora?
UGH. I can’t even look at pictures of Breitbart. He has such a doucheface.
I swear, I am going to beat my co-worker’s skinny little ass.
Why would you steal a hairnet from Sephora?
Me, personally? Or Caroline Giuliani?
Cuz I wouldn’t and would have no reason to, altho I did laugh when the doctors insisted I wear one of those surgical bonnets last week when I was having my cancer removed.
I am going to beat my co-worker’s skinny little ass.
Catfight!
Me, personally? Or Caroline Giuliani?
I was more using the universal “you,” though I suppose it would be even more absurd for someone without hair to steal a hairnet.
altho I did laugh when the doctors insisted I wear one of those surgical bonnets last week when I was having my cancer removed.
Well, you know. Head germs?
GOD SHE IS SO DUMB.
Catfight!
I’m pretty sure I’d knock her out on the first punch. Or at least send her sobbing to the bathroom. And I’m really not that tough.
Well, you know. Head germs?
Well, I suppose…except, you know, they have those silly disinfecting soaps and stuff and I just shaved that morning.
Well, I suppose…except, you know, they have those silly disinfecting soaps and stuff and I just shaved that morning.
Don’t expect the American health care system to make sense…maybe they just thought it completed the outfit.
Mr. T&U had outpatient surgery a couple of years ago and they refused to start until I showed up so that they knew there was someone to take him home, even though he told them that I was working in the SAME BUILDING and they could call me to double-check.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
“Today’s wrongful court decision is another attempt to impose a secular immorality on the American people who keep voting to preserve traditional marriage”
Majority rules!!!!! And so does rule of law!!!!! No, we don’t see a contradiction, because we are dumb assholes!
What an interesting quote from David Klinghoffer, El Cid. But something seems amiss. Hmmm …
There. Now it reflects actual reality.
I am always amazed by how many conservatives are lacking any level of self awareness.
It’s like they can’t remember anything that happened 10 minutes ago, and have no clue what they say or type lasts more than the time it takes for them to say or write it.
I’ve seen half-retarded dachshunds* with better mental acuity …
(* I’LL NEVER STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIGG!!)
I’ve seen half-retarded dachshunds* with better mental acuity …
You know, I know I just attributed this kind of shit to stupidity, which is certainly there, but I think it’s something even deeper than that…there’s some sort of weird, pathological need to seek out information that only confirms their worldviews, whether that information contradicts what they’ve said previously or not.
“Today’s wrongful court decision is another attempt to impose a secular immorality
The rallying cry of evangelical hillbilies ever since the Founding Fathers passed the First Amendment.
They cannot conceive of a world free of some sort of coercion, can they? They can’t even conceive of people who aren’t interested in coercion of some sort.
From the credit-where-it-due-file, one of Malkin’s groupies writes good stuff on the Prop 8 case. For anyone into 3-dimensional chess etc, the second paragraph here makes for pretty interesting reading.
They cannot conceive of a world free of some sort of coercion, can they?
Except for gun ownership.
They cannot conceive of a world free of some sort of coercion, can they? They can’t even conceive of people who aren’t interested in coercion of some sort.
I think they just assume everyone else is the way they are. If they had their way, we’d be an officially Christian nation with all other religions in second class status.
So they figure all our talk about freedom of religion and separation of church and state must be a trick, a Trojan horse for some kind of atheist/Muslim version of what they want for the country.
atheist/Muslim
Damn. I’ve missed a few club meetings.
“Today’s wrongful court decision is another attempt to impose a secular immorality on the
AmericanSouthern people who keep voting to preservetraditional marriageslavery.Fixx0rd for historical accuracy.
Damn. I’ve missed a few club meetings.
I’ve seen it argued, somewhere in the dark corners of the Internets, that atheists were hypocrites because they claimed to be their own thing but research showed they were actually probably a branch of Islam.
No joke.
From Klinghoffer’s* column, the money quote:
So you see, it is totally impossible to have a higher sense of purpose unless you subscribe to the correct Sky Daddy theory. And then, of course, impose it upon everyone, by whatever means possible.
Really, it explains so much.
* Presumably German for “dingleball”
the comments section over there has descended into a right old bitch fight…
“From the credit-where-it-due-file, one of Malkin’s groupies writes good stuff on the Prop 8 case. For anyone into 3-dimensional chess etc, the second paragraph here makes for pretty interesting reading”
I never thought about it before, but I guess some of the flying monkeys must have been okay.
I’ve seen it argued, somewhere in the dark corners of the Internets, that atheists were hypocrites because they claimed to be their own thing but research showed they were actually probably a branch of Islam.
Contemplating the level of stupid in this viewpoint has left me with the beginning of what is shaping up to be a fine migraine.
Ted, since you have the cojones to wade in over there, has Malkin said anything about the 14th Amendment automatic citizenship issue?
Ted, since you have the cojones to wade in over there, has Malkin said anything about the 14th Amendment automatic citizenship issue?
Yeah, but that was a while ago. Not wading into the shit, but wikipedia,
has Malkin said anything about the 14th Amendment automatic citizenship issue?
And why would that be of interest to Ms. Malkin I wonder…
BWAHAHHAHAHA!
So……she thinks her status would be grandfathered?
So……she thinks her status would be grandfathered?
Well, it wouldn’t be revoked retroactively. In other words, “Fuck you, I got mine”
So……she thinks her status would be grandfathered?
IOKIYAR
If I really had the cojones would I still be able to fit into my waders? But no, seems she’s stayed away from the 14th, I guess she’s filed that under “don’t ever be dumb enough to go there”.
*said with clenched jaw* That was supposed to be secret. Thanks, Chris.
There are only 2 Amendments to the Constitution which count: the 2nd Amendment, and the 10th. All others are librul and should be removed.
The Breitbart interview is interesting –
So many of the articles about him employ this talking point that he used to be a liberal but then had this epiphany which made changed his views to conservative.
I’ve seen it expanded on in comments online by Right Wing trolls, asserting that Breitbart was an active liberal, who was transformed into a conservative.
But you look at that article, and look at the timing. Brietbart is 41 years old (and jeez, doesn’t he look ten years older?) which would mean that he was born in 1969.
So he’s brought up a rich kid, probably went to Crossroads or Harvard Westlake, went to Tulane for undergraduate. Growing up in Brentwood he probably had very little interaction with black people, except as service workers. I can imagine he was probably scared of black folks when he encountered them in the streets in New Orleans as a young college student, “Started thinking about social problems…and the welfare programs in the 1960s” – meaning, he listened to Reagan-era racist rants about welfare queens.
So he’s 22 years old, watching the Clarence Thomas hearings – and it sounds like it confirmed all his fear and worry about black women. Because the scandal was about a black woman accusing Thomas of misbehavior.
And it’s interesting he sees it as Democratic senators grilled the nominee, because that’s not how I remember it at all. The hearings were relatively staid, until Anita Hill stepped forward to testify. It was she who was grilled, and called a liar and a perjurer to her face. When Thomas was questioned after her testimony, he was pretty much given a tongue-bath by the committee members, with Hatch and Simpson deferring to him and giving him a forum to call Hill a liar, and Biden and Heflin handling him with kid gloves.
So Breitbart is a young man, transported from his safe, white environment to a big Southern city with a large black population. Fearful of black people, especially black women, he identifies with a guy he considers to be “one of the good ones.”
He fixates on Kennedy and Chappaquiddick – which occured in 1969, when Breitbart was an infant – only because Kennedy spoke against Thomas’s nomination. So right there, it’s “team politics”. Breitbart hates Kennedy, not because of anything he knows about Kennedy, but because Kennedy speaks out against his guy.
Brietbart at 22 had already fully formed his political persona – he hates scarey black people, except for the “good ones,” and he goes on to work for Matt Drudge, cheapening journalism and political dialogue. This nonsense about having been once a liberal and then experiencing an epiphany is just that, nonsense.
He’s spent his entire adult life demonizing opponents, cheapening political dialogue, and using dirty tricks. For some peculiar reason, he particularly hates black women – his animus against Anita Hill, his handling of Shirley Sherrod, and most of his ACORN targets were women. I wonder what kind of personal encounter he experienced as a young man planted that seed.
A stern black nanny who terrified him in Brentwood while growing up? Or an unsatisfactory encounter with a black woman as a undergrad in New Orleans?
*said with clenched jaw* That was supposed to be secret. Thanks, Chris.
Just doing my patriotic duty and exposing you gay Muslim liberal fascists, doncha know!
That began to change at Tulane University in New Orleans, where Breitbart partied and mustered average grades but was exposed to a grittier version of America.
TRANSLATION:
He started hanging around with the frat guys, drinking his ass off, and listening to them rant about the nigras.
I don’t buy the connection of “how could they be so harsh on Thomas, when they let Chappaquidick go?” either. Kennedy was not nominated for the Supreme Court; he was a Senator. The people of Massachussets could have sent him home whenever they wanted to. The rest of the Senators could not send him home even if they wanted to. By contrast, there was only one chance to send Thomas home before he took his lifetime post.
It seems like that might lead to some inequities in how harshly these two men were treated in the Senate.
So he’s brought up a rich kid, probably went to Crossroads or Harvard Westlake
He’s from Brentwood so, um, Brentwood seems more likely.
Kennedy was not nominated for the Supreme Court; he was a Senator.
Also, his case was presented to a grand jury, which no-billed it. He went through the legal process and came out clear.
So basically what Breitbart is saying is, if Clarence Thomas had been gay, Breitbart would be a liberal.
Kennedy was quite uncharacteristically reticent when questioning Thomas due to the Chappaquiddick thing, but he gave a stem-winder of a speech against the nomination before the full Senate.
Breitbart’s animus toward Kennedy was simply the response of a young political naif to the right wing talking points of the time. Kennedy was hamstrung about questiioning Thomas, because the right wing noise machine was already injecting “Chappaquiddick” into the discourse every time they could. Even though Chappaquiddick occured in 1969 – when Breitbart was an infant – the right wing feared Kennedy’s influence against Thomas, and they were poisoning the airwaves with Chappaquiddick to neutralize him.
Kennedy was the guy who effectively “borked” Robert Bork. They wanted to prevent him from doing it to Thomas.
Breitbart as a young man fell hook line and sinker to the Republican tactics of the day. So he has gone on to reproduce them.
groo-waah?
A stern black nanny who terrified him in Brentwood while growing up?
“And I’ll beat you with a switch again, Andrew, if you go telling people I put Ex-Lax in my brownies!”
He’s from Brentwood so, um, Brentwood seems more likely.
Brentwood School? Well maybe. But all the cool kids in Brentwood go to Crossroads or Harvard Westlake.
Just doing my patriotic duty and exposing you gay Muslim atheist liberal fascists, doncha know!
Fizzled for better nonsensicality.
Hunh. When I followed the Thomas hearings, I came out thinking the Republican Party and conservatism was a giant bag of dickhead.
When I followed the Thomas hearings, I came out thinking the Republican Party and conservatism was a giant bag of dickhead.
Funny, I had the same reaction to the Bork hearings. Full disclosure: partly, I think, because Bork looked and sounded a lot like my dad. Loved him but no way would I want him on the SC.
undergrad at Tulane University in New Orleans
Andy is CenterLeftGrrrrrrrrrrl!
“atheists were hypocrites because they claimed to be their own thing”
Atheists don’t claim to be their own thing, they claim they don’t exist. Anyways, the early Christians were called atheists because they didn’t believe in the Roman pantheon of gods. How you perceive other people depends *a lot* on where you are. Perspective, point of view and all that, and what not. also.
Atheists don’t claim to be their own thing, they claim they don’t exist.
Blasphemy.
Anyways, the early Christians were called atheists because they didn’t believe in the Roman pantheon of gods
That, I didn’t know. I didn’t even know the concept of “atheist” was around until pretty recently, in Western culture at least… even the Founding Fathers were usually deists.
“For some peculiar reason, he particularly hates black women – his animus against Anita Hill, his handling of Shirley Sherrod, and most of his ACORN targets were women. I wonder what kind of personal encounter he experienced as a young man planted that seed. “
Someone said no.
“I didn’t even know the concept of “atheist” was around until pretty recently,”
I’ve been reading Elain Pagels and that’s what she says the texts say. I don’t know if she is putting a modern gloss on their language or not. It makes sense. If you believe that your god completely and totally exists then anyone who doesn’t is an unbeliever. Which is atheism.
I also recently saw the movie “Agora” which is really about Hypatia and I *think* the Christians were called atheists in the move at one point. It seemed to be mostly a pejorative. Hypatia herself was a true atheist philosopher and the last of her kind. After the Christians killed her and destroyed the Library of Alexandria the west sank into darkness for hundreds of years.
The author of this book also reports that early Christians were called “atheists.”
“Agora” is a pretty good movie, not great but it gives you a real feel for the times. Which seemed to be very chaotic. Hypatia was murdered in I think 367 AD or so. There are some really beautiful shots in the movie. It’s such a pity. Hypatia made some really significant discoveries and if the knowledge and culture that she represented had not been brutally suppressed the history of the world would have been totally different. But I guess that goes without saying.
Apparently, this is how they want government to work.
Surprise, surprise.
Hypatia…Agora….can’t them damned Greeks come up with good Amurican names???
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
Irony of the year: Laffer Curve proponent David Stockman thinks taxes are too low.
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
*sipping herbal tea quietly*
If only this wasn’t a liberal blog…
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
You just have to jimmy them a little bit and they’ll start right up.
The other bumper sticker I remember from my New Orleans days was one giving directions to Tulane. “West ’til you smell it. North ’til you step in it.” or some such.
You just have to jimmy them a little bit and they’ll start right up.
You should lubricate them with liberal amounts of ouzo first.
Andrew, I have one piece of advice for you: record your interview. Unless you want to see pieces of the interview bubble up in distorted fashion in a future Rainey column.
*snerk*
The ability of Ethiopian Jews to get low paid jobs as waiters in Israeli restaurants completely undercuts any arguments about Israeli racism of any type.
Aw, Russians can get those jobs, too!
When it became apparent that I knew she had sent only a paraphrase, she became defensive and stopped e-mailing me.
Ha ha, because there is no other possible reason for a person at work to cease communications with someone so charming.
atheists were hypocrites because they claimed to be their own thing but research showed they were actually probably a branch of Islam.
The branch that doesn’t believe in Allah, an afterlife full of virgins, anything Mohamed wrote, or in fact any Islamic tenets at all.
That began to change at Tulane University in New Orleans, where Breitbart partied and mustered average grades but was exposed to a grittier version of America. In a city long troubled by crime and poverty, he started thinking about social problems and “the Great Society trash can,” a reference to welfare programs in the 1960s.
A defining moment came as he watched the 1991 Senate hearings on Clarence Thomas’ nomination to the Supreme Court. Breitbart grew indignant as Democratic senators grilled the nominee, in his view unfairly;
So he was a lazy, default Dem until he saw black people, poor people, and a woman trying to keep a man from getting a job on the Court and decided This Will Not Stand. Sheesh, I was a conservative evangelical Christian in ’91, having voted for Bush pere, and even I thought Thomas was kind of a sleazy asshole.
Apparently, this is how they want government to work.
I like how the Maine Tea Party blog uses the Futura font for everything. Nothing says American Revolution like Bauhaus design cues.
Futura = (Comic Sans – Fascism)^2
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
You have to get behind them.
(that’s the cleanest I was going to get that joke)
Wow, holy fuck that’s tl;dr.
Wow, holy fuck that’s tl;dr.
And yet, jampacked with teh win.
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
Intercrurally.
Aw, Actor, you’re such a sweetie.
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
Over the wine-dark sea.
Apparently, this is how they want government to work.
Surprise, surprise.
They’ve been darkly hinting for months that Obama was an “Allende like radical,” and that, you know, history repeating itself and other such sayings.
Thanks for the history lesson, I honestly did not know there were atheist philosophers in the West going that far back in time.
(Now I’m wondering – did Socrates, Plato and the rest ever express any opinions on gods?)
Fucking Greeks. How do they work?
Given the riots this spring, they don’t, really.
Socrates was condemned in part because he showed atheist tendencies.
There was also the corrupting of minors, but that was philosophical kind, not the naughty video kind.
It makes sense. If you believe that your god completely and totally exists then anyone who doesn’t is an unbeliever. Which is atheism.
In the Christian point of view, not only is God completely and totally existing but he has an enemy called the devil… so, if you don’t believe in him, then by definition you’re serving the devil. Not an unbeliever, a believer in The Other Cause. (Which probably explains the atheist = Muslim confusion, since in the end they’re all Satanic).
Not every church believes that – today, I think most of them probably don’t. But the Falwell-Dobson crowd almost certainly does.
Has its own font?
Actually, I think they’d have all other religions criminalized, under penalty of death. You know, like good Christians.
In the Christian point of view, not only is God completely and totally existing but he has an enemy called the devil… so, if you don’t believe in him, then by definition you’re serving the devil.
You’d have to be a fucking moronic church to have twisted Christian doctrine to such a warped degree that you’d beli–
But the Falwell-Dobson crowd almost certainly does.
Oh.
Not every church believes that
To believe that is to put the Devil on equal footing with God. Two points on that:
1) It totally negates monotheism.
2) Since the Devil as the Bible develops his character is suggested to have been an archangel cast out of heaven, by definition he would have to be less powerful than God. Which means no one “serves” him, but they can be used by him.
Damn. I was trying to log onto Gay Patriot’s website figuring he’d, you know, have his panties in a twist over the ruling yesterday, but Websense picks it up as “Too Stupid To Allow On Our Server”.
Well… not exactly, I don’t think. You’re not putting the Devil on equal footing with God, you’re simply seeing him as a schemer who’s always trying to lead people astray, and thus, might have created all these non-Christian religions as a way of doing that.
Plus, they regard the existence of not only God but the Christian God as a self-evident fact, so the only way anyone could possibly disagree with them is if they were led astray by the devil.
And yeah, I know it’s a corruption. The Catholics who raised me were never that Manichean. They do see their way as the only correct way (as most religions do), but they didn’t consider every “wrong” religion to be Satanic or deliberately malicious. Just honestly mistaken.
I don’t know what the breakdown by Protestant churches are, but I think most of the mainstream is pretty tolerant by now as well.
Meet Breitbart’s Sherrod writer: Racist sexual “expert” and inventor (who cured cancer)
http://mediamatters.org/blog/201008050030
Pezzi, who says that “Breitbart asked me to write for BigGovernment.com,” has a peculiar self-described history. Pezzi claims to be responsible for “over 850 inventions” and schemes such as a “magic bullet” for cancer, a “robotic chef,” and sexual inventions like “penile enlargement techniques” and “ways to tighten the vagina” (because “men like women with tight vaginas”). Pezzi has started multiple websites, from term paper helpers to a sexual help site that answers “your questions about sexual attraction, pleasure, performance, and libido” (Pezzi is qualified to do so because “No doctor in the world knows more about sexual pleasure than I do”).
Pezzi also claims to have “beaten Bill Gates” on a math aptitude test, turned down a blind date with Katie Couric, and says he’s “bigger than some porno stars.”
If, um, it was a blind date, even if he found out later it was Couric, he didn’t turn down a blind date with Katie Couric. He turned down a blind date. Period.
As for beating Bill Gates on a math aptitude test, BFD. I’m sure I have too. Gates had a reported SAT score of 1590 (presumably out of 1600), with a math score of 800, but there are likely forms of math testing that Gates is weaker at.
And as to being better hung than porn stars…well…that’s a given.
So Andy Breitfart owes me a column and my wingnut welfare check.
Pezzi also claims to have “beaten Bill Gates” on a math aptitude test, turned down a blind date with Katie Couric, and says he’s “bigger than some porno stars.”
You don’t have to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder to work here… but it helps!
You don’t have to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder to work here… but it helps!
He’s a regular Buckaroo Banzai, that one.
The Atheist Muslim Society – A Non-Prophet Organization
Hey, a robotic chef sounds kind of cool…
All of you discussing conservative cock owe me a new, bigger puke bucket. This guy sounds like such a douche. I may have to do something photoshoppy with him.
Hey, a robotic chef sounds kind of cool…
I dunno…a robot Gordon Ramsay?
“Dr. Pezzi enjoys building fancy sheds”
How many sheds can one fucking man have???
I dunno…a robot Gordon Ramsay?
That would be hilarious!
“”The first woman to read [Pezzi’s The Science of Sex] book wrote to me to report that she obtained the most intense orgasm of her life after trying one of the new methods I discussed — a method that I invented, so no one else has yet written about it. Even when I discuss topics that you might think are so old that nothing new could be said about them, I offer a new perspective. Take vibrators, for example.” [Link]”
Dildos writing about dildos
How many sheds can one fucking man have???
Fancy ones? I’ll take a dozen!
How many sheds can one fucking man have???
Ask Arthur “Two Sheds” Jackson.
Take vibrators, for example
A real Henny Youngman for the 21st century…
a method that I invented, so no one else has yet written about it.
Holy crap, it’s Up-On-The-Backstroke guy!
How many sheds must a man build up
Before you call him a man
Holy crap, it’s Up-On-The-Backstroke guy!
He Who Must Not Be Mentioned?
How many sheds must a man build up
Before you call him a man
The answer, my friend, is up on the backstroke.
The answer is up on the backstroke
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought this would happen to me, but then I read Dr. Pezzi’s book…
This is the personal website of Dr Kevin
PezdispenserPezzihttp://www.erbook.net/kevinpez.htm
Um. Oh my. How…advanced.
Um, he has lots of pictures of himself in various states of dress and at various ages, but I notice that for a “sexual dynamo” that he claims to be, and for someone so….conservative, there’s a distinct lack of mention of womenfolk.
Except his mom, of course. He’s a year younger than me, apparently, so he’d be nearing 52.
Ha!
The site selling his sex book totally looks on the up and up, too.
Um. Oh my. How…advanced.
MD?
Really?
He mentions a sixteen year old girl whom he befriends in an avuncular way…
http://www.erbook.net/Amy_reviews_ER_computer_games.htm
I prefer to get up for the down stroke.
I may have to do something photoshoppy with him.
Make sure to give him a fake smile, big boobs, and uneven eyes, like he did to all the
sock-puppetswomen he photoshopped.Holy crap, it’s Up-On-The-Backstroke guy!
Hee! Though wait, also the weird preoccupation with the CIA. Somebody ask Pezzi what he thinks of punk!
I don’t like the sound of this one bit.
He mentions a sixteen year old girl whom he befriends in an avuncular way…
Uh huh….
OK, I lost it on this one:
I can haz new moniter, MIS?
Oh this Pezzi is the gift that keeps on giving!
http://mediamatters.org/blog/201008050034
Why are attractive women as rare as dodo birds in emergency rooms?
After a decade of ER work, I can recall having had less than a dozen attractive female patients. Considering the countless thousands of patients that I’ve served, this fact is truly amazing and deserving of formal study. A considerable amount of money is spent every year on the research and prevention of accidents, yet I’ve never seen anyone look into the reasons why attractive women seem to be virtually immune to diseases and accidents that might cause them to need emergency medical treatment.
This site? Is amazing.
Yes, medicine is a flawed profession with many drawbacks, but someone must be there to take care of you and I when we’re old codgers.
Mr. 4.0 in all classes doesn’t know what the objective case is.
Who designed his book cover? A 12 year old boy with MS Paint?
Are we sure this isn’t some sort of amazing ratfucking operation?
Somebody ask Pezzi what he thinks of punk!
You missed the photo of him at 14, I guess. Clearly, a Barry Manilow fan.
This picture was captioned “Just back after a bad blind date”.
I’m taking that to mean he ran out of roofies.
WTF? Could this guy not just shell out 5 bucks for pictures of smiling women with big boobs? I mean, I’m sure iStock has about hundreds of them.
After a decade of ER work, I can recall having had less than a dozen attractive female patients.
Oh, Lordy. Possible explanations for this “anomaly”, in no particular order:
1) He’s just plain full of shit.
2) He has really high standards of “attractiveness”.
3) Maybe your female patients just don’t look their best because they didn’t GET DRESSED UP TO HAVE THEIR LIFE THREATENING INJURY.
It’s good to see Breitbart is giving employment opportunities to the cognitively disabled.
*snerk*
Freud would have a field day with that.
Four words spring to mind when I click on those pictures:
“Serial Killer”
“Child Molester”
Is there anything left to say?
He invented a glow-in-the-dark finger splint. I assume that’s for the man who needs help picking his nose in bed.
More wit and wisdom from Dr. Pezzi…
Pezzi provides proof of black racism:
Clear-cut evidence of this can be found in some revealing statistics: only about 7% of blacks say they’ll vote for McCain, while almost half of whites are willing to vote for Obama. And whites are the racist ones??
Pezzi on the ingratitude of redskins:
the Indians, instead of endlessly bellyaching about the evil White Man, should instead THANK US for giving them the freedom to benefit from our superior technology.
Pezzi shares a few of his scholastic experiences:
==(I) obtained a 4.0 (on a 4.0 scale) on every paper I wrote in college, and I received a 4.0 in every English class as well as almost every other course I took.
==(Writing of himself in the third person) As a sophomore in college, he decided that his future was in the CIA, not medicine, so he skipped most of organic chemistry. Three days before the final, he changed his mind, crammed, and received a 4.0 for the course.
Pezzi analyzes post-WWII American foreign policy:
No one could have stopped us. We had the A-bomb and no one else did. We could have subjugated the entire world, for that matter. I could have a cute little fräulein preparing a fresh and tasty breakfast for me right now…
You missed the photo of him at 14, I guess. Clearly, a Barry Manilow fan.
My eyes!!!!!
Dr Kevin Pezzi called Pablo Picasso an asshole.
That was my first thought too. How many women are in the ER with make-up, coiffed hair, and sexy outfits? None, I’m guessing. Plus, we all know how sexy everyone looks when one is sick/injured/dying.
Dr Kevin Pezzi called Pablo Picasso an asshole.
Literally, or are you just making a slightly obscure music reference?
wearing shackles in a windowless basement, because that’s the only way I can get a woman to be around me.
Literally, or are you just making a slightly obscure music reference?
I’m being as honest as Dr Kevin Pezzi.
Dr. Pezzi strikes me as the type of man who might enjoy actor’s etchings. That scares the hell out of me.
wearing shackles in a windowless basement, because that’s the only way I can get a woman to be around me.
Well, that’s essentially what he’s saying, no? I mean, he’s bragging that the US could have kicked the shit out of Germany, so I can only imagine that he means she’s his slave.
3) Maybe your female patients just don’t look their best because they didn’t GET DRESSED UP TO HAVE THEIR LIFE THREATENING INJURY.
You missed an obvious one.
He’s, um, not that into chicks.
I considered as alternate phrasing that maybe his patients aren’t there for his amusement/enjoyment.
As a sophomore in college, he decided that his future was in the CIA,
It IS the up-on-the-backstroke guy!
clear-cut evidence of this can be found in some revealing statistics: only about 7% of blacks say they’ll vote for McCain, while almost half of whites are willing to vote for Obama. And whites are the racist ones??
I just…Holy God. I don’t know what grade he claims to have gotten in philosophy class, he Fails Logic Forever.
You all are putting me on, right? There is no such person. This is all a composite spoof of a douchebag, created by Amanda Marcotte or somebody like that, right?
I considered as alternate phrasing that maybe his patients aren’t there for his amusement/enjoyment.
Um, yeah. I mean, it’s one thing to notice an attractive woman while carrying out your duties as a physician;it’s quite another to evaluate every woman’s looks and keep a running tally in your head.
“Some porno stars” = those tiny guys who get smothered by giant women in Japanese BBW fetish porn.
I have to assume they’re not super-hung, btw, as you can’t tell because Japanese porn has pixelated wangs (but unpixelated tentacles, wtf?)
you can’t tell because Japanese porn has pixelated wangs
Maybe their dicks are so big they hang out of the hyperfocal plane?
You missed the photo of him at 14, I guess. Clearly, a Barry Manilow fan.
It’s Steve Spruiell!!!
This picture was captioned “Just back after a bad blind date”.
Holy crap, does he have crazy eyes or what?
Oh, also “fräulein” is really only used for very young girls. There’s not even a parallel to “girl”, “chick” or “babe” – to Germans (except very old Germans) it means a pre-pubescent girl. So, um, ick. (Still, a lot of people don’t know this).
“Telling Andy Breitbart that someone might distort what he says is like warning Bernie Madoff that an investment seems questionable.”
Yeah, struck me that way too. Creepy motherfucker.
Also, too. How is it that such a sexual dynamo goes on blind dates? His family members still feel sorry for him, so they try to set him up, or what? Shouldn’t his unbridled virility simply draw every breeding age female within several miles to him like a magnet? Enquiring minds, and whatnot.
Nothing quite so coquettish as a ruptured spleen.
So I went out to Amazon to see if his books actually are for sale anywhere in the real world. Picking True Emergency Room Stories at random, it is for sale…at silly fucking prices.
His best reviews appear to come from some questionable sources.
Apparently the reviewers overall either love his work or hate it.
Mr. T&U had outpatient surgery a couple of years ago and they refused to start until I showed up so that they knew there was someone to take him home
Do they have much of a problem with foundlings and abandoned patients?
I have a mental image now of Mr T&U left on their doorstep in a cardboard box, with a note tied to his neck saying “pLEAse OperaAte On mE”.
Nothing quite so coquettish as a ruptured spleen.
To know death, Otto, you have to fuck life… in the gall bladder!
Japanese porn has pixelated wangs
Lego sex EEEEUUUWWWW
Do they have much of a problem with foundlings and abandoned patients?
I have a mental image now of Mr T&U left on their doorstep in a cardboard box, with a note tied to his neck saying “pLEAse OperaAte On mE”.
Awwwww. How sad!
No, they just wanted to make sure he didn’t drive while still loopy from anesthesia. Liability shit.
HE’S A DOCTOR???!?!?!?
fucking hell, i am NEVER getting sick again.
No, they just wanted to make sure he didn’t drive while still loopy from anesthesia.
ANOTHER example of the Obama-nanny state taking all the fun and excitement out of day to day life.
i am NEVER getting sick again.
Well no: zombie, remember?
Fucking Doughy Pantload! Ooh, we now let black Jews work in low wage jobs! Call me back in 20 years and tell me how it works out with the race issue there. Too soon to tell.
And since you’re so non-racist, you’re gonna let more Arab Christians? seculars? moderate Muslims? apply for a path to citizenship? Oh, so modern and cosmopolitian the Israelis are, except when they’re engaged in an us-vs-them tribal/religious war.
Actor, thanks for that Salon.com article about donor mining, ripping off the rubes. Why aren’t WE doing that? And funneling the rest of the money to, say, other causes?
Speaking of the Doughy Pantload, not only did he only just recently sail by the last birthday before which he could have gone into the military, the same goes for Dick Cheney’s vile daughter. She, too, failed to help liberate Panama, Iraq, Kuwait, Haiti, etc etc.
In other news, the Prime Minister of Israel agrees that there is racism against Ethiopian Jews.
But what does he know, if a Pajamas-Media columnist says there isn’t?
Golf clap.