Whoa, slipping one in late at night eh?

Saltines, wheat thins…them’s moar like um TRISCUITS! What with the cross-weave n all.

{face palm}.
Lemme finish that thought lest I be accused of using ‘weave’ for the wrong side.

…what with the cross-weave better representin’ tehy’s wafer thin and full of holes brainzes.

THAT’s what I meant.

NEVER get out of the boat! NEVER get out of the BOAT! NEVER GET OUT OF THE BOAT!

Not getting out of the boat for this one. Nothing new to see here. At all. Ever, apparently.

I am sooooo tempted to get out of the boat.

There is nothing funnier than racists explaining how they aren’t really racists because they never actually used the blood of a minority child to make soup …

… and then turning around and saying minorities are the real racists because they can (allegedly) say “whitey” or “cracker” without any approbation.

But I’m at work, and an overload of laughter or disgust may bring unwanted attention to myself at my very conservative workplace – not coincidentally, a place where I hear quite a few of the above mentioned explanations.

Whoa, slipping one in late at night eh?

Isn’t it the best time?

(Night Time Is) The Right Time.

And Michael Steele doesn’t look the slightest bit like an oreo! I mean, he doesn’t even come in a box! What’s up with thaaaat?

Hoosier,

man, im so tempted too, I love seeing these tossers wind themselves in knots over this. I also like a little bet with myself that they will mention; ‘…. why can blacks say nigger and we can’t, bwaaaaaaaaa….’. I should put together a drinking game based on such columns………

This one’s difficult to snark without disembarking, and I see that Triscuits were consumed immediately. Too late in this time-zone to really put on the ritz, so have at it, you early biskit-chickens.

nom de niguerre? That is insanely awesome.

It may be late to put on the ritz, but it’s never too late to delete a dash in this time zone. Nor, arguably, a comma, the fact is.

Although I am totally going to steal “Saltine-American”.

Water crackers are best formulated with a briny base, in my molluscian opinion.

Comments section on Wizbang courtesy of the townspeople of Blazing Saddles.

“Saltine-American”.

ftw.

Whoa, slipping one in late at night eh?

Isn’t it the best time?

Naught und neubels?! I’m gettin a thrill up my leg without a single click!

Oof. “Saltine-American” is from the comments. I suspect I’ll be using it with a touch more irony than the poster intended.

There is some ugly shit in those comments.

always trust the shorter
always trust the shorter

Holy hell, I was already in the boat, responding in the comments. Good catch. I tried briefly to get them to consider possible *reasons* the lack of a powerful anti-Caucasian epithets; no dice of course.They’ve gone in unbelievable directions since I split.

“saltine American” definitely ftw. I could also suggest “White thins” or “peak freaks”.or

Oh gimme a break, ‘cracker’ is white, unleavened, and two dimentional wheat bread product. It has nothing to do with what I would have inherited in the case of a [my grampy’s] successful secession!

Saltine-Americans are best consumed with Cheeze Whiz.

This definition is my favorite. Saw it on the telly (that’s why I Wookied it) so there’s more to it than some smart ass on the Wiki, but it’s perfect, & they’ve no right to complain if they get called cracker.

Yet another theory[citation needed] is that the term derives from an Elizabethan word used to describe braggarts. The original root of this is the Middle English word crack meaning “entertaining conversation” (one may be said to “crack” a joke); this term and the alternate spelling craic are still in use in Ireland, Scotland and Northern England. It is documented in Shakespeare’s King John (1595): “What cracker is this same that deafs our ears with this abundance of superfluous breath?”

“I’m cool with the Saltine-American thing so you should be straight with n*gg*r…..what?”

For no particular reason: The Atlanta Black Crackers were a Negro League baseball team. They were the Atlanta Black Crackers to distinguished themselves from the Atlanta Crackers, with whom they shared a baseball field.

If you find the idea of the Black Crackers somewhat whimsical, there’s a whole slew of tees, hats, and the like sporting the old logo.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

So what’s a “Priestaph”? Some form of STD for Catholic boys?

The Atlanta Black Crackers were a Negro League baseball team

The Negro League was filled with team names that would be, um, eye-catching these days.

Well, she is definitely thin and flaky.

Then she shouldn’t mind that I call her a dumb cunt.

Is it that much of a leap of logic to understand that “cracker” was the poor white foreman on the plantation who cracked the whip over the slaves?

You know, the asshole who was being paid next to nothing to lord it over those who actually WERE being paid nothing, in service to a rich white man who was raking in money hand over fist?

In other words, Priestaph….YOU’RE A FUCKING TOOL!

Then she shouldn’t mind that I call her a dumb c*nt.

Please! I find that totally inappropriate.

To quote a Sadly whose name escapes me, “she lacks the warmth and depth.”

Racist and stupid is no way to go through life, lady. Go with drunk instead; it’ll bring a little girlish color to those wizened cheeks.

To quote a Sadly whose name escapes me, “she lacks the warmth and depth.”

If she had those, she’d be a smart cunt.

Is it that much of a leap of logic to understand that “cracker” was the poor white foreman on the plantation who cracked the whip over the slaves?

I think that’s a folk etymology, and probably not the original source of the term. There’s actually a Wikipedia page on the term cracker which is pretty interesting. It’s reasonably well researched, too – there’s several sources cited for the different possible origins, and a nice set of historical uses.

Phleabo,

I’m aware of some of the other, older claims (like the “cracked corn” root). While those may all be valid for the existence of the term, this specific branch as a denigratory term synonymous with “bohunk”, I have to think that the whipcracker has a ring of truth to it.

Take “teabagging” as an example. It’s existence for decades as a verb for dipping tea into a cup morphed into a form of oral sex, and from there into the derogratory term. No one in their right mind would say that Tetley is responsible for putting down Sarah Palin. It’s a riff.

“saltine American” definitely ftw. I could also suggest “White thins” or “peak freaks”

Nilla please.

So a white teetotler would be a soda cracker?

Is an Asian a Cheese Nip?

A readhead would be a Ginger Snap?

A blonde with round heels an Easy Cheese?

Hulk Hogan would be an Animal Cracker?

You can’t figure out “cracker,” ma’am? How about “peckerwood”?

What a dumb yakoo!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=yakoo

Other good insulting terms for white people:
Whitey
Ofay
Redneck
White Trash
Honky
Honky Honky
Dead Honky

The fact that “cracker”, as a pejorative, was originally used by rich whites to disparage poor whites escapes this clay eater.

There’s always the possibility of convergence. In some parts of the country (ie, North Florida) cracker refers to the “Florida Cowboys”. I heard a folk etymology that they are so called because the crack the whip. Actually, the Florida cattlemen are descended from a Scots-Irish people who are known as “Crackers”. (According to some ethnological accounts they raised hogs or other livestock rather than raising crops.)

I’ve often heard that the plantation owners hired Scots-Irish men as foremen. Therefore the “whip cracker” would be a Cracker, which could reinforce a usage through convergence.

I don’t think the term could have originated from plantation culture, however, because its use today is on whites generally but its use in North Florida is still on the Scots-Irish specifically. (Recall how Yankee means “English” in New England where the term originated but “Northerner” in the South and “American” in the Caribbean.) North Florida was not a center of plantation culture. Many Blacks settled there after the Civil War (and Emancipation). I think it’s more likely that the term cracker is a North Florida term and Blacks from Florida who moved to the North in the 20th century took that term with them.

It is important to note that the Crackers do not consider the term pejorative. 😀

It is used as an epithet on someone who is considered ignorant and (especially) obstinate. It is almost like the white form of uppity because in my life I’ve only ever heard it hurled at bus drivers by angry passengers. The implication is that the driver is a person of low rank who is acting like he is more important than he is by [fill in the blank] … not stopping to let patron off at a non bus stop … telling the patron to stop drunkenly hitting on the 83-year-old lady who wants him to stop … asking (drunk) patron to pay a fare.

(White people abuse black bus drivers, too. “I pay your salary, I can get you fired,” is a common taunt. Not true, of course, but oh so annoying… gah, still want to punch some clowns… blood pressure, blood pressure.)