Are you sure K-Lo had a father? She does look sort of assembled.

And here’s my belated thought for Father’s Day: Let us all be truly thankful that, despite Rush Limbaugh’s four serial marriages, none of this little swimmers have had the energy to make it all the way up the canal to produce any little Rushbos.

The only canals those swimmers have ever entered belonged to Dominican rentboys.

*sigh*

My comment. My beautiful beautiful comment *SOB*

Let us all be truly thankful that, despite Rush Limbaugh’s four serial marriages, none of this little swimmers have had the energy to make it all the way up the canal to produce any little Rushbos.

I’ve got good money in Vegas that one of his wives had an abortion but was paid hush money.

(OK, that was the substance of my original comment when this post was up, but…*SOB* MY POST WAS PERFECT!)

Something tells me there have been a few little Rushuthu spawn, but they probably dissolved when exposed to direct sunlight. Some things were not meant to be…

I’m not going to repeat my comment that was eated, but it had something to do with responsibility and speculating and K-Lo’s daddy issues…

“And here’s my belated thought for Father’s Day: Let us all be truly thankful that, despite Rush Limbaugh’s four serial marriages, none of his little swimmers have had the energy to make it all the way up the canal to produce any little Rushbos. Thank you, Lord. Some things even Viagra won’t help.”

Of course, that joke simply writes its own rejoinder: who knew that teenage boys could get pregnant? Rimshot. Thank you. I’m here until Sunday. Try the steamship round.

[I support recycling]

Social scientists, meanwhile, have devoted considerable energy toward proving that fathers aren’t necessary,

O RLY? Citation needed. Grade, F.

despite voluminous research demonstrating that fatherless children suffer a host of pathologies.

O RLY? Citation needed. Grade, F.

Btw; I don’t know if you’ve ever taken any logic courses, but sometimes and always mean different things. You might consider drawing that distinction–oh wait, that would totally undermine your whole false argument, wouldn’t it? Ah well. Good thing the Greater Fool theory applies to columnists.

Try the steamship round
If that’s anything like a Cleveland Steamer, I think I will pass.

Rush squiggler jokes:
“Paw! Thar’s ducks in that barrel over yonder.”

Oddly, on today’s show, Limbaugh complained that Obama was neglecting the oil spill to host a “fathers’ barbecue” today, and claimed he would have been too busy even if invited.

Could there be a little Rusty Jr. somewhere?

Could there be a little Rusty Jr. somewhere?

Can you imagine? That would be about as horrifying as discovering that Charles Manson is your father…

I was gonna make a comment about K-Lo not having reproduced herself given her “you must have a traditional family with a mother, father and 2.5 kids … otherwise you are evil and going to hell” mindset. Especially interesting was her comment about women over 40 who have not yet found a man.

But then I decided to find out how old K-Lo is. And you know what? She is my age! She was born in the same year as I. Which means she is not even 35 yet.

I know people can’t necessarily help how old they look, so it’s awfully mean of me to point this out … but K-Lo looks a heckuva lot older than me. I don’t think I look that old or that young — actually I bear an unfortunate and very strong resemblance to Josh Trevino whose age I do not know — and while I might look maybe younger than 30ish, I think that me looking younger than K-Lo is more a reflection of how old she looks than how young I may or may not look.

I know people can’t necessarily help how old they look, so it’s awfully mean of me to point this out … but K-Lo looks a heckuva lot older than me.

Yeah, I think we were discussing this a couple of months ago.

It doesn’t help that she looks like she shops at the Dress Barn.

There, there, actor. *pats actor awkwardly*. We know you know how to bring the funny.

The reason J-Lo remains single and unloved is absolutely unrelated to her physical appearance. Beauty, after all, is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight down to the bone.

As a femnist I’m always wary of people use the “she’s just a bitter ugly woman” trope. But she seems soooooooo bitter and puritanical about sex…

…am I really gonna get to use this before anybody else?
“How do you get a nun pregnant?
Disguise her as an altar boy.”

Why do these people always point out that “it’s better for children to be raised by a mother and a father” like it’s some kind of profound hidden truth?

Of course it’s better (most of the time). It’s also better for them to have enough food, decent medical care, a good education, etc. If you assholes didn’t scream about socialism in every debate over how to fund these things, maybe we’d be able to take your “think of the children” shit a little more seriously.

That would be about as horrifying as discovering that Charles Manson is your father…

You mean this guy?

As a femnist I’m always wary of people use the “she’s just a bitter ugly woman” trope. But she seems soooooooo bitter and puritanical about sex…

I think her Puritanism has more to do with the fact that she’s a nutjob, not her unattractiveness. Although it is kind of pathetic that she’s so opinionated on something she’s obviously never even experienced.

You mean this guy?

Yes.

There, there, actor. *pats actor awkwardly*. We know you know how to bring the funny.

*putting head on VS’s shoulder*

*peeking down her blouse*

*snif* I feel better…a little.

But didn’t a recent study show that lesbians tend to raise super-well-adjusted kids?

But didn’t a recent study show that lesbians tend to raise super-well-adjusted kids?

No, because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY.

But didn’t a recent study show that lesbians tend to raise super-well-adjusted kids?

A study by uber elitist liberal commie media soros and stuff, yeah.

If you assholes didn’t scream about socialism in every debate over how to fund these things, maybe we’d be able to take your “think of the children” shit a little more seriously.

Here’s the thing: America is never going back to this fantasy the right wing has established in their heads. Even if tomorrow we all woke up chimpanzified and all Borg-like networked and even if somehow the right wing could actually control that network, we’d never go back to that because it bever fucking existed! We’re never going back to a one-wage-earner, two-generation family living in a house and having two cars and a wife at home.

AND even if we somehow magically could, they’d realize it’s not the Utopic existence they “remembered” and worse, they’d be clamoring for relief.

“some children do splendidly with just a mother or just a father or some other variation”

what other variation is there?

The guy with super-well-adjustment never got that call back from the Legion of Superheroes. A less well adjusted person would’ve been devastated, but after a reasonable period to get over the rejection, he picked himself up and applied for another job.

Here’s the thing: America is never going back to this fantasy the right wing has established in their heads. Even if tomorrow we all woke up chimpanzified and all Borg-like networked and even if somehow the right wing could actually control that network, we’d never go back to that because it bever fucking existed! We’re never going back to a one-wage-earner, two-generation family living in a house and having two cars and a wife at home.

AND even if we somehow magically could, they’d realize it’s not the Utopic existence they “remembered” and worse, they’d be clamoring for relief.

Well put. But nothing enrages people like realizing they can’t have what they want.

“some children do splendidly with just a mother or just a father or some other variation”

what other variation is there?

Two mommies, two daddies, a grandparent or two or other close relation.

Well put. But nothing enrages people like realizing they can’t have what they want.

The ironic thing is they’ll STILL blame liberals for ruining the country.

what other variation is there?

Living feral?

what other variation is there?

Going off what I’ve learned in movies, television, video games, books and role-playing games orphans tend to do spectacularly well. Frequently become kings and costumed vigilantes and such.

Well put. But nothing enrages people like realizing they can’t have what they want.

And the right-wing would probably call Mick Jagger a big-lipped limey faggot if they got what they needed.

what other variation is there?
Tarzan, Mowgli, and Romulus and Remus seemed to turn out ok.

The ironic thing is they’ll STILL blame liberals for ruining the country.

That isn’t actually irony, though.

There are days I wish I could find a giant holodeck and have a Forced Galt on these assholes, send them to a perfect simulation of the nation they want and then make them each president for just one day so they can see precisely what God would wrought.

The ironic thing is they’ll STILL blame liberals for ruining the country.

And in so doing, keep digging the hole even further away from that happy past they’re talking about. Union and big government are the reason the 1950s was a golden age they miss so much, but they’ll furiously oppose any attempts to make “their” America possible again.

Living feral

I kind of liked that show.

I want to write “Everything I really need to know about management I learned from ‘Lord of the Flies'” and let these assholes make me rich.

by taking a swipe at single moms and complaining bitterly that Obama dared to mention in his Father’s Day message that even families without fathers (like his own growing up) have value too.

What I always want to ask these clowns (while hitting them with a claw hammer) is to share their opinions on widows and people from families where one of the spouses just takes off/is in jail/isn’t suitable for human society.

But that’s just a poor substitute for Plan A, which involved locking them in a room with my grandmother. She was widowed when she was 30, raised my mom on her own and was turning down marriage proposals well into her 60s.

She was also meaner than a sack full of rattlesnakes and wouldn’t take shit from God. Trust me, K-Load and the rest of the Morality Brigade would be begging for the claw hammer after five minutes.

Oddly, notwithstanding her almost creepy obsession with Father’s Day, K-Lo doesn’t say a word about her own father.

Because her dad was a priest and the Pope said if she talks about it she’ll go straight to the hot place. (NOT Rush’s buttcrack. But close.)

Living feral

I kind of liked that show.

Was that on TLC?

Wait. That was “Jon & Kate Plus 8”

Tarzan, Mowgli, and Romulus and Remus seemed to turn out ok.

Romulus and Remus were raised by a single mother though. Or at least, no mention is ever made of their lupine father.

And also, I’m pretty sure Romulus beat Remus to death. And is the message we should be sending to our children that it’s perfectly alright to murder your brother in order to found a new nation which shall one day grow into Europe’s greatest empire, of which all later empires were but pale shadows?

Much better to tell our kids to kill your brother over being slighted over God’s distaste for vegetarianism.

One of my favorite Simpsons moments was a brief glimpse of the headline:

DEATBEAT DAD BEAT DEAD

There are days I wish I could find a giant holodeck and have a Forced Galt on these assholes, send them to a perfect simulation of the nation they want and then make them each president for just one day so they can see precisely what God would wrought.

Whatever. They would whine and say that you cheated with your biased liberal version of reality.

New entry in the lexicon:

“Patting the actor awkwardly”

Already looking forward to using that socially.

Tarzan, Mowgli, and Romulus and Remus seemed to turn out ok.

Just think, if the other brother had been the faster killer, the Catholic Church would be based in the city of Reme.

Just think, if the other brother had been the faster killer, the Catholic Church would be based in the city of Reme.

But just think of the possibilities! All Catholic priests would speak with Cajun accents and could cause playing cards to explode in flashy pyrotechnics.

And that one movie with Cary Grant and that chick from Breakfast at Tiffany’s whose name is on the tip of my tongue would have been “Reman Holiday.”

All Catholic priests would speak with Cajun accents and could cause playing cards to explode in flashy pyrotechnics.

And confound me with the question of what the fuck their mutant power actually is until I eventually stop caring enough to try to figure it out.

”

“Patting the actor awkwardly”

is that what the kids are calling it these days?

And that one movie with Cary Grant and that chick from Breakfast at Tiffany’s whose name is on the tip of my tongue would have been “Reman Holiday.”

Audrey Hepburn and that sounds like the porno version. “Reamin’ Holiday”

“77south said,
June 21, 2010 at 22:31

And that one movie with Cary Grant and that chick from Breakfast at Tiffany’s whose name is on the tip of my tongue would have been “Reman Holiday.””

I’m looking forward to the release of “Reamin’ Holiday”

vacuumslayer said,
June 21, 2010 at 22:37

HA HA!

GODAMMIT, ACTOR!!!

The guy with super-well-adjustment never got that call back from the Legion of Superheroes.

Even Keeled Man

And that one movie with Cary Grant and that chick from Breakfast at Tiffany’s whose name is on the tip of my tongue would have been “Reman Holiday.”

I’m pretty sure “Reamin’ Holiday” is already a movie.

You folks are so predictable. I personally think the greater joke is in the Holy Reamin’ Empire. Cause those Germanic-types is freaks.

DAMN DAMN DAMN, VS!

I am in awe. Your synchronized porno reference skills amaze me.

“As a femnist I’m always wary of people use the “she’s just a bitter ugly woman” trope.”

It’s the bitterness that makes one ugly. K-Lo in all honesty isn’t really that unattractive from a purely objective viewpoint. I’ve know plenty of people with physically “non-standard” body types who were simply a joy to be around. It’s just our language that tends to attach subjective judgments as objective labels that is the real culprit here.

But that’s not funny so I guess I best stfu.

Yeah, I have to say, that one was a little too easy. Sort of like DKW’s mom.

pace Quaker in a Basement, I think the liberal world should take to referring to Rush Limbaugh as Rusty Limbaugh.

We’s gonna be in the Useless Skills Olympics.

The whole Romulus/Remus thing shows up in one of the best scenes in one of my favorite comic novels.

I GOT IT!

Look, here’s the perfect solution to the Israel-Palestinian conflict. I mean, I’m running it up the flagpole of course (and crossposting it to Wonkette) to see if anyone salutes, but I think it could work.

Sell. The. Naming. Rights!

Think about it! We can have some company that’s, say, having a PR nightmare *koffkoff*BP*koffkoff* offer to spend $100 million to purchase the naming rights to the Gaza and maybe we can throw in the West Bank (Citibank is a natural fit) to the mix.

So BP would have the right to call Gaza whatever it wanted AND it would help the Palestinian people AND here’s the beauty of the deal for BP:

NO ONE WOULD BLAME THEM IF THINGS GOT EVEN WORSE!

Oh damn. I missed the synchronized porno finals. Did we win gold?

“Reman Holiday.””

I prefer Riemann Holidays myself, wherepon I spend a lot of time on the beach trying to calculate the total area under the curve.

Sell. The. Naming. Rights!

Sorry, but the naming rights to the end of the world already belong to the fine people at the Glad (R) family of products.

I prefer Riemann Holidays myself, wherepon I spend a lot of time on the beach trying to calculate the total area under the curve.

Isn’t that kind of reference a bit above the pay grade of a phys ed teacher?

Kid, that’s not a nipple, that’s a haemorrhoid.

I feel the need to clarify my comments about K-lo. I really, really, really hate when a woman who is not conventionally attractive brings up something that’s bugging her and is immediately shut down as a bitter, ugly woman who needs to just wallow in her ugliness and shutup. I really hate that.

Honestly, I don’t care if a person is gorgeous or ugly as sin, every human being deserves to be treated with respect. And on a personal level, I really don’t give a shit what people look like.

I guess that she comes across as SO bitter about sex and sexuality and how it pertains to women, that I cannot help but wonder if it’s because she’s not so successful with the opposite sex. Now, she could be unpopular with men because she’s a horrible person. But, let’s face it, the world is often shitty to unattractive women, so I figure there’s always tiny sliver of a possibility that a woman as hateful as K-Lo feels pretty bitter about her lot in life.

I dunno. I think those of you responded to me made great points. I don’t know if I made shitty point or just expressed it shittily.

There’s a lot of shit in this post.

Kid, that’s not a nipple, that’s a haemorrhoid.

Human caterpillar?

Oh damn. I missed the synchronized porno finals. Did we win gold?

Nope, it was the Germans. And, yeah, it was scat-related.

Yeah, I have to say, that one was a little too easy. Sort of like DKW’s mom.

rimshot

Nope, it was the Germans. And, yeah, it was scat-related.

Fuck! I’m running out of Viagra.

rimshot

Subtle.

And Audrey Hepburn would have been in Reman Holiday (not to be confused with the porn version, Reamin’ Holiday).

bastards

“I prefer Riemann Holidays myself, wherepon I spend a lot of time on the beach trying to calculate the total area under the curve.”

Isn’t that kind of reference a bit above the pay grade of a phys ed teacher?

John Derbyshire would be lying on the beach next to you.

I remember when commenters at Sadly, No! would use their own, original comments and not steal them from others like comment stealing fish….

Doctorb said,

bastards

YOU’RE what cost us the gold medal!

bastards

If you had played that off like a meta-joke (which I thought it was for a second), it would have been funny. Unless that’s what you’re doing now…

Hm, we need a diversion to keep from this entire thread filling up with the same joke. Segue, segue… oh!

So, I’m trying to think of the porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but every one I can think of makes it sound like vore. Any suggestions?

I’m pretty sure the star of Reamin’ Holiday was Audrey Rugburn.

So, I’m trying to think of the porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but every one I can think of makes it sound like vore. Any suggestions?

“Fuckfest at Tiffany’s”? Meh.

So these fish, right?
And pilfering comments?
That’s a no-no.
So don’t do it.

Breakfast *IS* Tiffany?

So, I’m trying to think of the porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Breakfast ON Tiffany, silly.

“I remember when commenters at Sadly, No! would use their own, original comments and not steal them from others like comment stealing fish….”

ALL YOUR JOKES ARE BELONG TO US!

bangfest at tiffany’s

It made me laugh, T&U.

Breakfast at Quiffanys?

I remember when commenters at Sadly, No! would use their own, original comments and not steal them from others like comment stealing fish….

If I use enough Dawn dish soap and my toothbrush they scrubs up real nice like new and all.

“calibre97 said,
June 21, 2010 at 22:56

Breakfast *IS* Tiffany?”

vore.

Breakfast *IS* Tiffany?”

vore.

Wait. So oral sex is now cannibalism????

Wait. So oral sex is now cannibalism????

I believe it is if you swallow. At least under Catholic doctrine.

“Wait. So oral sex is now cannibalism????”

Like chewing on cold beef or so it’s been told.

bangfest at tiffany’s

NICE!

It made me laugh, T&U.

Aw, you’re sweet. Thanks.

And good luck getting a priest to perform transubstantiation first!

“I believe it is if you swallow. At least under Catholic doctrine.”

That’s genocide!

“And good luck getting a priest to perform transubstantiation first!”

What does Amy Alkon have to do with this?

That’s genocide!

Shit. I knew Hitler and I had something else in common besides our mustaches…

Shit. I knew Hitler and I had something else in common besides our mustaches…

And the shitty paintings.

Isn’t that kind of reference a bit above the pay grade of a phys ed teacher?

Sorry, forgot to change nyms first. It’s kind of taxing to remember to do every 3 months when I think of a math joke.

And Audrey Hepburn would have been in Reman Holiday (not to be confused with the porn version, Reamin’ Holiday).

Not with so many vegetables in it!

And the shitty paintings.

Hey, it’s not my fault that POOP is such a cutting-edge medium that you plebes can’t even begin to get it.

Hey, it’s not my fault that POOP is such a cutting-edge medium that you plebes can’t even begin to get it.

Pssht, it’s not that difficult to get. I’m sitting on an assload of it right now.

Pssht, it’s not that difficult to get. I’m sitting on an assload of it right now.

David Vitter, is that you?

David Vitter, is that you?

Now now, let’s not go and say something we might all regret.

Now now, let’s not go and say something we might all regret.

Oh, please. I’m still making up for pulling my punches on a roofie joke in the last thread…

Hey, it’s not my fault that POOP is such a cutting-edge medium that you plebes can’t even begin to get it.

That’s so last century

Honestly, I don’t care if a person is gorgeous or ugly as sin, every human being deserves to be treated with respect.

While I don’t believe that, I think the funny is usually somewhere other than the looks. On the other hand, when conservatives take pride in this – and hey, K-Lo’s Jonah’s editor! – it’s understandable and bleakly amusing that folks might want to point out that K-Lo’s more nightmare than dream.

All rods lead to ream.

An irresistible OT: The guy who’s running in the primary against McCain appeared in an infomercial for a “free government money” ripoff.

Isn’t that kind of reference a bit above the pay grade of a phys ed teacher?

My high school calculus teacher was the soccer coach. Taught math about as well as you’d expect a soccer coach to teach it.

Substance McGravitas said,

June 21, 2010 at 23:16

Honestly, I don’t care if a person is gorgeous or ugly as sin, every human being deserves to be treated with respect.

While I don’t believe that,

Yeah, in my haste to clarify myself I said something inaccurate. What I meant to say that whether I like you or not will have little or nothing to do with how you look.

And, yeah, it’s gross how the wingnuts delight in having all the “pretty cheerleaders” on their side. It’s disgusting on its own, but what’s worse, it’s not even true!

it’s understandable and bleakly amusing that folks might want to point out that K-Lo’s more nightmare than dream.

A dream to some, A NIGHTMARE TO OTHERS!

Looks, per se, not really a good subject for abuse. (Clothing choices, hair-styles & the like are choices made & it’s open season!)

That being said, it’s not as if there aren’t cruel (especially to/by children) things done & said to the ugly & fat. This doesn’t help their psychology, self-esteem or attitude any, & may send them into the arms of the Pope (or Mitt “Shoulders” Romney) which can result in excessive Dogma & Doctrine Intake, leading to, well, K-Lo, a sour bitter hateful religious maniac.

So be nice to those fat, ugly & short mutants populating America. You, too, can prevent K-Los.

Precalculus, I mean. Even in that function he was limited.

While I don’t believe that

Neither do I. Gorgeous people should be forced to call me “Headmistress” while I beat them with rulers.

POOP is such a cutting-edge medium that you plebes can’t even begin to get it.

Thank you for leaving an opening.

First time I tried the link it was as if WP knew what I was doing. Undaunted, I try again.

Judge Not [Jonah Goldberg]

Yes, I was a judge of the Hottest Conservative Women in New Media “contest.” My shame spiral is bottomless.

Huh. From this angle, the shame spiral makes his bottom look HUGE.

YES, I WENT THERE.

I give up.

YES, I WENT THERE.

Even a half-assed justification of that will wind up fully assed.

Gorgeous people should be forced to call me “Headmistress” while I beat them with rulers.

Ah, so you HAVE seen actor’s etchings.

“I’m pretty sure the star of Reamin’ Holiday was Audrey Rugburn.”

You people should be ashamed of yourselves. And while you’re at it, buy me a new keyboard. That one wins the intertubes.

Wait. So oral sex is now cannibalism????

So I don’t want to hear ANY of you playing all superior to zombies, anymore….

Sorry, forgot to change nyms first. It’s kind of taxing to remember to do every 3 months when I think of a math joke.

one would think you would be able to increase the frequency.

What I meant to say that whether I like you or not will have little or nothing to do with how you look.

what about smell?

I’m azking for a friend.

“So I don’t want to hear ANY of you playing all superior to zombies, anymore….”

I AM superior to you; my skin hardly ever falls off!

“I’m azking for a friend.”

As long as your “friend” doesn’t wear anything by Axe.

How you smell will also have little or nothing to do with how you look. Unless you’re like REALLY far gone.

You are born with one face, but by the age of forty
forty-five
fifty
fifty-five you have the face you deserve.

Wait, what? Cary Grant was in Roman Holiday?

God, K-Lo is dumb. The Obama quote she posted completely undercuts what she says about him. Did she even read it?

You are born with one face, but by the age of forty
forty-five
fifty
fifty-five you have the face you deserve.

Unless you like mouthing off to longshoremen, in which case, it happens sooner.

Gorgeous people should be forced to call me “Headmistress” while I beat them with rulers.

LOOKSIST!! Why can’t the ugly get what they deserve too?

“Unless you like mouthing off to longshoremen, in which case, it happens sooner.”

Tee hee!

Unless you like mouthing off to longshoremen, in which case, it happens sooner.

also steelworkers.

I AM superior to you; my skin hardly ever falls off!

Zombies and snakes ask you why you say that as if it’ a bad thing.

….umm, I been watching a lot of Animal Planet recently.

and zombies

No one deserves K-Lo’s face.

I’m not some bought and paid for politician who panders to the snake and zombie lobbies.

Unless you like mouthing off to longshoremen
That would explain the glass fragments in the hair and the bits of other people’s teeth in my forehead.

Steelworkers work hard, and they play hard. They also kill what they eat.

That would explain the glass fragments in the hair and the bits of other people’s teeth in my forehead.

The bits of teeth are because some people cannot resist NOMing your enticingly large forehead.

the snake and zombie lobbies.

Some of the hardest chambers in Zelda.

There is nothing wrong with K-Lo’s looks. Yeah, she’s heavy, but lots of heavy people live wonderful, fulfilling lives and get married or otherwise empartnered. That’s why I’m curious about K-Lo: she is such a standard-bearer for traditional het-marriage and family life, and so religious. And yet she’s not living her life in accordance with those values. Possibly she feels a calling to a single life of writing weird shit. That’s cool. That’s a reason.

I’ve never married either. I’m not fat, but I’m not especially cute, either. And yet homelier people than me get married all the time. I always knew I wouldn’t get married, and I don’t owe anyone an explanation any more than K-Lo does (although it seems like K-Lo would think I’d owe her an explanation).

But it is to wonder. Phyllis Shlafly, who’s lived her life in public, as an activist and attorney, preaching in support of women not living their lives like she does, got married and created off-spring. So yes, I do wonder. Does K-Lo want to get married? For her sake, I kinda hope she likes her life the way it is, even though it’s not entirely traditional Catholic-Christian of her.

Some of the hardest chambers in Zelda.

Stalfoi should fuck off and re-die.

Okay, okay. Zombies. I just read Feed, by Mira Grant. Good post-Zombie Catastrophe thriller, with intrepid bloggers as the main characters.

Steelworkers work hard, and they play hard.

Oh, be nice!

Well put. But nothing enrages people like realizing they can’t have what they want.

I’ll say. I thought I was close to seeing *someone’s* boobies today. Now I’m bitter.

I remember when commenters at Sadly, No! would use their own, original comments and not steal them from others like comment stealing fish….

Writing jokes is hard. **racist shit, racist shit, someone else’s shit, make fun of the disabled, racist shit** fuck, I gotta fill up an hour with this shit?

You better watch out, soon jokes about Carlos Mencia are going to become so worn and tired that Carlos Mencia is going to be the one making them.

And, yeah, it’s gross how the wingnuts delight in having all the “pretty cheerleaders” on their side. It’s disgusting on its own, but what’s worse, it’s not even true!

Hm. Yeah, empty headed, plastic bitches are a real boon to any cause. Even if that were true, it’s a stupid thing to be crowing about. I suppose the grudge fuck fantasies are sorta worth it…? Actor, wanna weigh in here?

You better watch out, soon jokes about Carlos Mencia are going to become so worn and tired that Carlos Mencia is going to be the one making them.

HA! No shit–you’re probably right about that.

The bits of teeth are because some people cannot resist NOMing your enticingly large forehead fivehead.

Neither do I. Gorgeous people should be forced to call me “Headmistress” while I beat them with rulers.

Have you seen my modeling portfolio?

As long as your “friend” doesn’t wear anything by Axe.

No, I’m NOT holding a can of Axe behind my back.

In other news, Bobby Jindal is a fucking retread.

**racist shit, racist shit, someone else’s shit, make fun of the disabled, racist shit**

Hey, apparently Carlos Mencia is one of the Sadly, No trolls!

Steelworkers work hard, and they play hard.

Good spot for a Rothlisberger joke? Hello? Is this thing on?

Hey, apparently Carlos Mencia is one of the Sadly, No trolls!

(light bulb) New England Redneck!

They also kill what they eat.

As well they should. If you eat what ain’t been killed, your vittles are likely to squirm around in your esophagus.

your vittles are likely to squirm around in your esophagus.

fap fap fap fap fap…..

intrepid bloggers

See also: Intelligence, Military.

Here’s an endorsement:

We “also ran” into the former US Senate candidate/blogger Mickey Kaus, sporting a politician’s haircut. We told him he must have gotten more votes than “birther queen” Orly Taitz in the primary earlier this month. When we checked this morning, Kaus got 112,754 votes to usurp Senator Barbara Boxer and Taitz received 462,192 votes arguably from mostly Democrats using Republican ballots, to run as Secretary of State. Ouch.

Anyway, we asked him if he’s going to run again against Dianne Feinstein. “No, no. I like Feinstein,” he told us. So sad. We’ve had fun seeing Mickey run.

“tsam said,
June 22, 2010 at 1:19

As long as your “friend” doesn’t wear anything by Axe.

No, I’m NOT holding a can of Axe behind my back.

In other news, Bobby Jindal is a fucking retread.”

tsam don’t break my heart and tell me you wear that shit!

And,yes, he is.

Now I’m feeling guilty. Does cleavage count?

I am appalled. In my haste to deliver nothing but the timeliest witticisms, I attributed the male lead in Reman Holiday to Cary Grant rather than Gregory Peck. In my defense I was speaking of the alternate universe where Remus founded Reme, where Cary Grant might well have been cast instead of Gregory Peck. I offer my sincerest apologies.

We’ve had fun seeing Mickey run.

I bet the goats he’s chasing don’t like it so much.

Does cleavage count?

yes.

For what?

Ah, so you HAVE seen actor’s etchings.

I decline to answer under the privileges afforded to me by the Fifth Amendment.

“zombie rotten mcdonald said,
June 22, 2010 at 1:49

Does cleavage count?

yes.

For what?”

as a substitution for naked bewbs…and paper money.

You better watch out, soon jokes about Carlos Mencia are going to become so worn and tired that Carlos Mencia is going to be the one making them.

Sort of how “jumped the shark” has totally jumped the shark?

tsam don’t break my heart and tell me you wear that shit!

Not anymore!

Now I’m feeling guilty. Does cleavage count?

It all counts.

I decline to answer under the privileges afforded to me by the Fifth Amendment.

A-HA!

Take on me…
Take me on…(take on me)
I’ll be gone
(something) taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake

Sort of how “jumped the shark” has totally jumped the shark?

Jumped the shark jumped the shark when the sharks started trying to bait unwitting skiers into attempting jumps. Similar to what Zombie does with flickering lights and eerie music.

UGH–I’m bored.

Did I mention that Buddy Wakefield is God?

Does cleavage count?
as a substitution for … paper money.

I would like to hear more about this alternative currency.

Cocktail hour already?

I feel ya. I like it when everyone is here to play.

If you get desperate, scroll up and see what actor and I did.

What is the rate of exchange? How many pounds in a cleavage?

I feel ya. I like it when everyone is here to play.

If you get desperate, scroll up and see what actor and I did.

No, I’ll be jealous and possibly kill a small animal in retaliation.

I would like to hear more about this alternative currency.

Yes, yes. Could give the economy a lift, right?

Perk it up a bit, you know?

What?!

If you get desperate, scroll up and see what actor and I did.

usually that requires a subscription.

I think it is very important we stay abreast of new economic developments.

We need to milk the economy for all it’s worth.

Do I haz bajjers yet?

Just a quiet stroll down Mammary Lane.

I do predict that Rush will create another little Rush tho. If he can. This current marriage may be his last chance to spawn.

I don’t know if his latest wife is in childbearing range, however. And I’m too lazy to check, because then I would have to move the mouse approximately 10 inches to the magic Google Box. I can has conservative pundit gig now?

I can has conservative pundit gig now?

No.

You can write a coherent sentence.

Anything else?

Via Boing Boing the best entertainment today.

Me want boobiez.

I can has conservative pundit gig now?

There are clear signs of actual coherent thought in your post. Therefore, we must spitefully decline your application. You might try disabling spell check utilities, and avoid anything remotely involving truth.

National Pork Board

I MUST get a job there. I feel my life has been incomplete without business cards that say “National Pork Board” on them. That’s a sure ticket into the “Mile High Club”.

Comment from Sub’s link:

Wait, wait, unicorns don’t exist? But, but who will fight the lion? Are we just going to give him the crown? And here I was so happy to once again find a source of sparkles. Now I am crestfallen. I have been sparkle deficient since the main producer of canned fairy meat went under for trying to double fairy dust production by using too many steroids. Gah!

Nice. Just nice.

Sure, a lot of mean people make fun of K-Lo … but who else has the chutzpah to be the world’s foremost Blindfolded Two-Toe Typist?

Her breathtaking innovations in the “Editing With Absinthe” arena are also noteworthy.

77south said,
I am appalled…

Um, don’t be, everyone has a brain fart. I was just astonished at how many others repeated it without correction.

I’m glad someone else finally caught that Cary Grant/Gregory Peck error, it was driving me crazy. The Cary Grant/Audrey Hepburn vehicle is, of course, the wonderful Charade. But onto the next thread.

I allus thought that the Gary Grant / Katherine Hepburn vehicle was a Studebaker

Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn? I never heard of them

“That would be about as horrifying as discovering that Charles Manson is your father…”

Paging Guillermo del Toro…

I’m glad someone else finally caught that Cary Grant/Gregory Peck error, it was driving me crazy.

Would it have mattered? People like you would have had us not get into WW2 after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.