You used to be big. Norma Desmond: I *am* big. It’s the *pictures* that got small

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

Um, what?

So Jonah makes a buck three eighty off his shitty little pieces and he’s whining?????

And, with the decline of competitive newspaper

Republicans contributed to that decline, BTW. But don’t tell Jonah that.

Goddammit, I got out of the boat.

I can’t imagine a WORSE WAY to wake up than this: “I’m making the big bucks because of my successful line of Liberal Fascism talking alarm clocks. ‘Holy Statolotry, Benito! It’s Time To Wake Up!'” And I’ve woken up to a cat puking on my neck before.

And I’ve woken up to a cat puking on my neck before.

Boy, substitute “date” for “cat” and that’s my love life.

Jonah’s surprised by how little Murray gets–$75 per column–meaning he must get paid more than that. At $75 per column per paper Jonah gets $390,000 annually just for 800 words of half-assed “anaylsis” and flaccid jokes. That’s not even counting his NR or AEI paychecks. And he’s complaining? Publicly? On a website where readers brag about shorting themselves on groceries to contribute $20?

Jonah’s surprised by how little Murray gets–$75 per column–meaning he must get paid more than that.

Not necessarily. That’s the rate at the NY Times. The only paper whose syndication and prestige would be comparable for Jonah’s network is the LA Times. That’s one paper that might buy his shitty little column for a buck or two. He probably “only” pulls $40,000 a year off his syndicate.

I wish someone would buy my diarrhea for $40G. I’d go off my high-fibre diet in a heartbeat.

Obviously he’s still eating well.

Republicans contributed to that decline, BTW.

Jonah embodies that decline.

Boy, substitute “date” for “cat” and that’s my love life.

Well, you know, six martinis will do that.

(Damn my feminist creds for keeping me from going for the edgier joke.)

Well, you know, six martinis will do that.

Any woman I date ought to be able to hold her liquor.

And mine, while I lick her.

(Damn my feminist creds for keeping me from going for the edgier joke.)

In fact I believe they EMPOWER YOU to make the edgier joke.

In fact I believe they EMPOWER YOU to make the edgier joke.

In this, Subby and I concur. You simply must throw down the nasty, T&U

Doughbob published in hundreds of rags. Said rag industry in decline. Cause, meet Effect.

OT, in case anyone else is teh tennis junkeh like Ted, Federer in deep POOP.

Worse, opinion journalism has become commodified because of the internet and technological advances generally.

It’s true that machines produce better writing than Jonah.

OT, in case anyone else is teh tennis junkeh like Ted, Federer in deep POOP.

Isn’t he playing a man who had to qualify? He must be injured.

In fact I believe they EMPOWER YOU to make the edgier joke.

In this, Subby and I concur. You simply must throw down the nasty, T&U

But the moment’s gone now! I’ll save it for next time.

Is my mind playing tricks on me or was their a K-Lo shout out on the front page a minute or so ago?

BTW, I’m starting to think that the next successful horror movie franchise should be about gay people. Because apparently gay folks SCARE THE SHIT out of about 25% of the population. I’m telling you, anyone who takes advantage of this niche market is seriously gonna rake in the Benjamins.

Hey, Tintin took down his last post!

Actually, that’s okay. It’s far too early in the morn to be discussing Rush Limbaugh’s ejaculates.

Hey, how many of these do you think Jonah downs a day?

It’s true that machines produce better writing than Jonah.

Machines like enjambments.

Jesus. Goldberg can’t even beg right.

Hey, Tintin took down his last post!

WHAT????

I had a comment on there so insightful and pithy, I was going to submit it to the Pulitzer committee!

In one way, opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. In another they are not. I can avail myself of an asshole for WAY less than $75 bucks.

When I tell people that my syndicated column is in over 100 newspapers, some people seem to think that means I’m making the big bucks

The rest think “I had no idea there were over 100 crappy newspapers in this country.”

I had a comment on there so insightful and pithy, I was going to submit it to the Pulitzer committee!

Yeah, but do you *really* think Limbaugh actually sleeps with his wives?

I can avail myself of an asshole for WAY less than $75 bucks.

Right? The going rate for DKW’s mom is, like, ten bucks!

The rest think “I had no idea there were over 100 crappy newspapers in this country.”

Well, you have to keep in mind that he’s syndicated by the Metro newspapers that are given away free, almost like daily Pennysavers, in many major cities.

Yeah, but do you *really* think Limbaugh actually sleeps with his wives?

Him? Yea. Them? Not so much.

The post will return. Sadly, the comments on it got ditched because WordPress was being pissy about letting me turn the published post back into a draft.

Him? Yea. Them? Not so much.

Okay, this discussion is skirting dangerously close to causing me to imagine the mechanics of sex with Rush Limbaugh. There is not enough brain bleach in the world. Trepanning might be a start….

Maybe Jonah could do better if he wrote his column in Jumble form.

Sadly, the comments on it got ditched because WordPress was being pissy about letting me turn the published post back into a draft.

I only hope Terry Pratchett got my email commentwhoring Sadly No’s post before you took it down.

Actually, Jonah’s intent in writing this was to point out that he gets paid , thus establishing his credentials as a “professional”.

His mind on his money and his money on his mind? Not so much. He’s on the Olin/Koch gravy train.

And, with the decline of competitive newspaper markets the price of a column (i.e. what editors pay for them) has plummeted. Editors just don’t feel the need or desire to pay much for commentary

So I’m supposed to feel better that the local fishwrap in my area that carries Pantload’s column at least pays him a shitty rate for it?

If you want a sense of how bad it is out there, apparently the New York Times pays $75 a piece for guest op-eds from Charles Murray!

Somebody overpaid by $74.50

“Okay, this discussion is skirting dangerously close to causing me to imagine the mechanics of sex with Rush Limbaugh. There is not enough brain bleach in the world. Trepanning might be a start….”

Just imagine the life of luxury you will lead after the divorce. That obviously worked for wives 1, 2, and 3.

Just imagine the life of luxury you will lead after the divorce. That obviously worked for wives 1, 2, and 3.

See, I think he would be smart enough to get a pre-nup the second or third time around…but maybe he’s just a romantic at heart? (VOM)

Somebody overpaid by $74.50

In fairness, it’s what Ayn Rand would have paid.

Alternate shorter: “Please donate more to NRO. The wingnut welfare fund is running low and daddy needs a new wetsuit.”

Well, you have to keep in mind that he’s syndicated by the Metro newspapers that are given away free,

In fact, the ‘Load is published by the LA Times. We ended our subscription to it last year, and yet we still get Thurs-Sun. delivery and they don’t even bill us any more.

“Even a self-fellating shitbag like Charles ‘Them Blacks Sure Is Dum! — I’m NOT a Racist!!!’ Murray gets 75 pelts for rewording paragraphs he’s re-written 100 times over the last 30 years!! Omigawd!! Teh HORRORZ!”

As Johan, the human colostomy-bag, Goldberg gets moar money from the newspapers he’s helping to drive into oblivion.

Obviously he’s still eating well.

Freebasing High Fructose Corn Syrup will do that to you.

Freebasing High Fructose Corn Syrup will do that to you.

He injects it directly into his pancreas.

He injects it directly into his pancreass.

You had a small misspelling there, T&U…

I can haz Terry Pratchett commenting at Sadly, No?

The Big Time Gets Smaller and Smaller

The Big Time is obviously his pet name for his penis!

The Big Time is obviously his pet name for his penis!

Jonah’s penis is the punchline of Liberal Fascism.

You had a small misspelling there, T&U…

Oh, I thought his ass injections just included liquified Cheeto dust. I stand corrected.

Hey, how many of these do you think Jonah downs a day?

Sammiches!

Glad I wasn’t hungry when I clicked, Pup. Yuuuuuumm.

Sammiches!

Okay, those are just obscene.

“You Can’t Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 21, 2010 at 16:49

Obviously he’s still eating well.

Freebasing High Fructose Corn Syrup will do that to you.”

Some of it leaked into his brain evidently.

Those aren’t sammiches.

THESE are sammiches!

The Texas GØP is so precious.

“We support legislation that would make it a felony to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple and for any civil official to perform a marriage ceremony for such,” reads the GOP platform.

If a straight person were to aid and abet a gay couple with marriage in Texas, the GOP would like to see that person serve mandatory jail time.

SAMMICH WARS!!!

VS,

I haven’t even played my trump card.

Bring it!! *eggs on*

Of course, now I’m hungry sooooooo…

The one and only sammich, 4 evah, no backsies!

The one and only sammich, 4 evah, no backsies!

I would only ever date girls who could get their mouths around one of those delights when I was a young man.

So we’re structuring our laws after Uganda’s?

The one and only sammich, 4 evah, no backsies!

One is reminded of the sage advice offered by the title of one of B. Kliban’s books of cartoon masterpieces: Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head.

The Texas GØP is so precious.

“’We believe that the practice of homosexuality […] leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases,’ the platform reads.”

Lesbians (AKA the population with the lowest rate of STD infection in the US)? Totally not homos.

One is reminded of the sage advice offered by the title of one of B. Kliban’s books of cartoon masterpieces: Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head.

I believe they have a copy of that at the register. Signed by Kliban.

Some of it leaked into his brain evidently.

And caught fire.

Like doughnuts, I prefer to pretend that I hate sandwiches that normal people are allowed to eat.

If Lil’ Doughy has trouble making ends meet, I’d gladly pay him to stand on a streetcorner with a cup in hand, just so I could send people out to quote some of the more risible parts** of his various columns, blog posts and tweets to him.

*Seriously, for reals; that’s where the giant penny in the Batcave comes from.

**that is to say, nearly all of them.

Oh lord, Jonah Bag o Donuts…

I like the GDB’s idea. We could have a fundraiser by standing around reading his “thoughts” like a copy of Ulysses on June 16th…you know, for shits and giggles.

Best…Shorter…Ever…

I went to grab the mangoes. They were juicy and delicious and taste of Schadenfreude.

I like the GDB’s idea. We could have a fundraiser by standing around reading his “thoughts” like a copy of Ulysses on June 16th…you know, for shits and giggles.

This would not involve real money, just coupons for Subway.

actor212 said,

So Jonah makes a buck three eighty off his shitty little pieces

Actor, forgive me, but I’m not down with the “New Math”. What is a buck three eighty in metric, please?

In fact, the ‘Load is published by the LA Times. We ended our subscription to it last year, and yet we still get Thurs-Sun. delivery and they don’t even bill us any more.

We got it for something like 8 months for free. We hadn’t even asked for it; it randomly started showing up on our doorstep one day. We called the subscription office to let them know they’d made an error, and they told us that they had no way to resolve the situation and to enjoy the free paper. We didn’t particularly–even without Goldberg’s column, it’s still filled to the brim with useless shit, and our lack of a subscription meant that we couldn’t put delivery on hold while we were away. Then one day it simply stopped appearing (again without our intervention). Content aside, any business that can’t manage proper billing and product delivery is pretty much doomed.

This would not involve real money, just coupons for Subway

I was thinking more like Mall Bux.

Actor, forgive me, but I’m not down with the “New Math”. What is a buck three eighty in metric, please?

A farthing and a further ha’penny.

Aw, damn man, you escalated right for the Carnegie. That’s cold, dog, cold.

Aw, damn man, you escalated right for the Carnegie. That’s cold, dog, cold.

In the game of Rock. Scissors, Paper, I always play the laser beam.

OT, but Barbados is the ISP champion.

*Seriously, for reals; that’s where the giant penny in the Batcave comes from.

How have I made it through my life to this point without knowing this?!

Wait–DC retconned him away? God, they retcon every good into oblivion. If you want to send someone to retcon hell, what about Paste Pot Pete? Or maybe Kyle Rayner, heh heh. Oh, wait, they did what? And replaced him with who now? A character that should have died quietly with the 60s? A character that was tired and out of touch by the early 70s? I TAKE IT ALL BACK.

OT, but Barbados is the ISP champion.

I’d rather play water polo, but the Segway keeps shorting out.

OT, but Barbados is the ISP champion.

I’m not sure if learning this just made my morning better or worse…

A farthing? That’s like a fig, right?

“’We believe that the practice of homosexuality […] leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases,’ the platform reads.”

But communicable to whom? Closeted Tejano politicos?

I call that a win.

Aw, damn man, you escalated right for the Carnegie. That’s cold, dog, cold.

One time I ordered a tongue sandwich there just for he irony (“oh, my tongue is tasting a tongue ha ha ha”). I opened the sandwich up to find what looked like a raw, full-size cattle tongue, freshly hacked off poor Elsie.

Just like that TV show where (cough)loser_who_want_to_be_on_TV(cough) eat bugs and crap.

If a straight person were to aid and abet a gay couple with marriage in Texas, the GOP would like to see that person serve mandatory jail time.

This is totes nothing at all like the race laws that made marrying a person of another race (as defined by state law) a felony.

Errrrr, TEH BUTTSECKS for charity?

OT, but Barbados is the ISP champion.

Speaking of Internet connections in the Caribbean, the absolute fastest connection I ever had anywhere was at this dingy little Internet place on Dominica, $2 ECD (Eastern Caribbean Dollars) an hour. Giant jpegs appeared in 1/4 second or less, everything was instantaneous to my meat-eyes….

Oh, not that kind of ISP… never mind.

Kyle Rayner hasn’t been retconned out. He’s still the star of Green Lantern Corps.

Just saying.

A farthing? That’s like a fig, right?

Verily, kind sir, but that one may not ingest a farthing lest one like farting.

I opened the sandwich up to find what looked like a raw, full-size cattle tongue, freshly hacked off poor Elsie.

Good thing you didn’t go for the stuffed derma.

I opened the sandwich up to find what looked like a raw, full-size cattle tongue, freshly hacked off poor Elsie.

Blerg. I like offal just as much as the next woman who has to see pigs’ feet every time she opens the deep freeze, but that’s just ick. At least slice that stuff.

Errrrr, TEH BUTTSECKS for charity?

Oh, apparently “cornhole” is a big thing in Tennessee, too. There are annual cornhole tournament signs up everywhere…

Heh. “‘Cornhole is a light, safe game.'” Only if you’re doin it rite.

I’m not sure if learning this just made my morning better or worse…

We get to ride segways at work, I suggested to the boss that it might be good pr to put a team together. Not that I’m all that excited about playing, it’s more about getting the company to send me to Barbados.

Blerg. I like offal just as much as the next woman who has to see pigs’ feet every time she opens the deep freeze, but that’s just ick. At least slice that stuff

Then I have one warning for you. If you ever get to Trinidad during Festival (or probably anywhere south of Leewards) do not, I repeat, DO NOT order the chicken feet.

Oh, apparently “cornhole” is a big thing in Tennessee, too.

yea, you know what? There was a perfectly fucking good, descriptive name for that “game”. It’s called BEANBAG TOSS for Christ’s sake!

Sooo…why would the Doughy Pantload (the bestest re-name EVAH) decide to barf out this blurb? Is it a bleg? Does he have nothing else to day? Is he trying to remind everyone he is, in fact, a syndicated columnist? Is he just retarded?

“All of the above” is an appropriate answer, for those of you having a Trig moment.

Shorter Poormouth Pantload, “our likes will not be seen again if teh liberal media doesn’t start paying us bigger coin. ”

He is the Sitric O’Sanasa of liberal fascism. I often see him on the hillside fighting and competing with a stray dog, both contending for a narrow hard bone vegetable free sammich and the same snorting and angry barking issuing from them both.

Re: PENIS

Are they basically admitting that their young male demo consists of sub males confused about their sexuality?

They did have songs about how this chick wanted to do them and they said no, which apparently made them really badass, and in their most famous song they brag about pissing a girl off by being uncommunicative. (I believe I can identify the gender because they use a German word similar to “cunt” in the refrain.)

Or maybe Rammstein is confused about their sexuality. (Not that this means they’re gay… could be that girls just make them feel all weird inside which conflicts with their scary hardass image.)

Or maybe they’re trying to take the “confused about your sexuality” shtick to the limit. Heck, ICP is STILL making a living on a “joke” that goes over the head of their rabid audience, which they play to the fucking hilt. Rammstein’s shtick was to take contraband East German neonazi metal to a commercial audience. There was absolutely nothing they could do–short of actually expressing neonazi sentiments, which of course they never did–which could scrub off that squeaky-clean commercial stench. FAKE

Kyle Rayner hasn’t been retconned out. He’s still the star of Green Lantern Corps.

Damn straight. Guy defeated yellow fer cryin’ out loud. Take that, Hal Jordan, John Stewart, Guy Garnder,et al

Who could have imagined giving a ring to a cartoonist would work with a weapon most effectively powered by imagination?

Heh. “‘Cornhole is a light, safe game.’” Only if you’re doin it rite.

Green balloons! OW! Green balloons! OW! FOR GOD’S SAKE GREEN BALLOONS…

Then I have one warning for you. If you ever get to Trinidad during Festival (or probably anywhere south of Leewards) do not, I repeat, DO NOT order the chicken feet.

Well, given the fact that names for disgusting foods tend to be nicer-sounding than the names of the things themselves (like sweetbreads), I doubt I’d expect anything *but* actual chicken feet.

I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to food, but any part of an animal that looks like it did when it was alive is probably not going to sit well with me…

(now off to recover from my geekgasm and the unimaginable thought of not eating a perfectly good tongue sandwich from the Carnegie).

Kyle Rayner hasn’t been retconned out. He’s still the star of Green Lantern Corps.

Oh, okay. There’s something like 5000 Green Lantern titles running simultaneously so it’s kind of hard to keep up. Plus the whole characters-not-really-hooking-me issue.

I actually ENJOYED the Hal Jordan Spectre series. It was the only time Hal Jordan was interesting because he engaged in some self-reflection. (In the 60’s comics, self-reflection rays bounced off of his shiny uniform.)

I wanted to like Kyle, I really did. The problem was that he was trapped in the same mental space for TEN YEARS. Because DC characters aren’t allowed to change or grow. Suck…ass…

Er, actually, I’d rather suck ass than read DCU DC comics. Excuse me.

Er, actually, I’d rather suck ass than read DCU DC comics. Excuse me.

Don’t look at me, I Make Mine Marvel.

’nuff said.

Excelsior!

Oh, apparently “cornhole” is a big thing in Tennessee, too.

yea, you know what? There was a perfectly fucking good, descriptive name for that “game”. It’s called BEANBAG TOSS for Christ’s sake!

In an effort to determine if the term “cornhole” came before the term “beanbag toss,” I looked up the game on Wikipedia.

And, hoo boy, some of the terminology is hilarious.

OK one more.

My son and I figured this one out (extrapolating from Kyle’s success) many years before I saw it in print.

Ultimate ring bearer: There was never any doubt

Game over.

Who could have imagined giving a ring to a cartoonist would work with a weapon most effectively powered by imagination?

Seriously, this was the coolest thing about Kyle as a character. I got fed up with JLA when I realized they weren’t really using this ability to the fullest.

Most major DC characters just punch things. GL uses the mind instead. (So does Batman, but he’s completely ridiculous jobber in JLA and everyone knows it.)

IDK, maybe it made him TOO powerful. The Doctor in The Authority (WSU) could pretty much do anything he could imagine, too, and look at what they had to do to HIM to restore balance to the universe.

Ultimate ring bearer: There was never any doubt

Too easy.

Wouldn’t his, er, neuroses be a bit of a problem, though?

Doughbob published in hundreds of rags. Said rag industry in decline. Cause, meet Effect.

Alas for the days of witty journalists.

(now off to recover from my geekgasm and the unimaginable thought of not eating a perfectly good tongue sandwich from the Carnegie).

Oh, I ate it. It was yummy. The 6 or 8 or who’s counting shots of Cuervo earlier in the evening helped make it yummy.

Wait, wouldn’t the ultimate ringbearer be Gandalf or something? Imagine the power he could have wielded.

Wow, you people and your tongue. My wife calls it “meatacado”. She, and you, can have it.

From Wikipedia:

cornhole is now a popular game in and around the Midwest and Rust Belt states

Figures. Red State hypocrites.

/snerk

“Wouldn’t his, er, neuroses be a bit of a problem, though?”

I read somehwere that he tried on a ring once and the only thing he could create was an image of his parents. Don’t know if that’s true though.

Heh. “‘Cornhole is a light, safe game.’” Only if you’re doin it rite.

Hush now. You’ll wake the troll that crapped all over the last post.

Jonah would wonder why Mussolini just didn’t let trains run on regular roads instead of tracks so they could get different places faster.

Wait, wouldn’t the ultimate ringbearer be Gandalf or something? Imagine the power he could have wielded.

He was interested in other things. Have you never read his secret diary?

If I were unemployed, I would thrilled to see this column, especially considering that the job loss is a side effect of 30 years of Jonah’s fapping material. I suppose, however, I should defer to Jonah’s super duper writing skills and thoughtful insights on why it’s my own fault that I’m unemployed and not be thinking “oh FUCK you, pantloadeaterface”.

Fucking SNAP!!!!!! Huge site-whore interruption, guys…I just found out one of my works is going to be published in the next issue of “Advanced Photoshop.” (And was chosen as Picture of the Week)This, on the heels of my AP interview. I’m blowin’ up. WOLVERINES!!!!!11

Errrrr, TEH BUTTSECKS for charity?

Is this a round robin? Double elimination? Single elimination? How does one win such a tournament? That chick has an awfully big smile for someone about to participate in a cornhole tournament. Do they get TP for their bungholes?

Do NOT put me on the newsletter mailing list. Thank you.

Fucking SNAP!!!!!! Huge site-whore interruption, guys…I just found out one of my works is going to be published in the next issue of “Advanced Photoshop.” (And was chosen as Picture of the Week)This, on the heels of my AP interview. I’m blowin’ up. WOLVERINES!!!!!11

Oh my god! Congratulations! Can I say “I knew her when…”?

VS: Nice. A bit jealous, I am, but NICE.

THANKS, guys. 😀

THANKS, guys. 😀

This is WELL DESERVED recognition. Well done.

YAY, VS!

Not a suprise, really – we all knew you do high quality work, VS. Weird as all fuck but high quality weird.

If you want a sense of how bad it is out there, apparently the New York Times pays $75 a piece for guest op-eds from Charles Murray!

That’s outrageous! I get paid 10$ a week for 2000 words on Magic the Gathering and I guarantee you that it’s more useful to society than anything written by Charles Murray.

Shant (deliberate choice of word there) anyone else recahniiezze that the title of this here post is a DIRECT, DIRECT I say, connection to teh Hooman Centipede? No?

And during Westminster in 2002, I went with friends to Carnegie Deli AFTER having eaten dinner!!11!!!on3!!1!!!eleven!

I still had the cheesecake, of course, but watching someone else attack a CD Reuben (VsomethingR?) was torture.

Oh, and congratulations VS. Well-deserved.

What is all this “getting paid for words” of which you speak?

I can has some? Please?

Thems r wordz. Money nao?

Yo, VS, Advanced Photoshop…is that the one published in the UK?

Before I go get the mail,
doo dah doo dah
I am hereby owner of the thread
oh doo dah day

Oh my god! Congratulations! Can I say “I knew her when…”?

I’m totally having her baby.

dammit, I just got the WordPress SLOW DOWN warning.
heh.

I haz an béal bukkit.

Good news everbuddy!

The TLC network is tired of all you snobby brainiacs wif yer damn elitist shows on fag networks like “Bravo” (what a fuckin’ gay ass word anyhow) and is going to try and attract a more Real American audience. (Via the Huffington Post.)

Heartland values are indeed what TLC pushes, carving out a profitable niche in a reality TV marketplace otherwise filled with sex-drenched youth soaps ( MTV’s “Jersey Shore”) or aspirational voyeurism (HGTV’s entire programming block). And now the network is making maybe its strongest play yet for the non-elite, middle-class audience, with a new show starring the queen of Red State America, Sarah Palin.

The combative former Alaska governor is teaming with reality super-producer Mark Burnett to start production next month on a one-hour, eight-episode series in which Palin “will show, first-hand, what it means to be Alaskan,” according to an internal summary developed by the channel’s ad department. “Each one-hour episode will feature taking on a different job, a new adventure.

“She may be hauling nets with her husband, Todd, on his commercial salmon fishing boat on Bristol Bay, roughing it in a logging camp or spotting grizzly bears while camping on Kodiak Island,” the summary continued. (Neither Palin nor Burnett was available to elaborate.)

Whether the show will connect with its target audience is anyone’s guess; Palin is already a contributor and show host for Fox News, another network self-consciously aimed at non-elites. But it’s the strongest proof yet that TLC, a unit of Discovery Communications, which also operates Discovery, Animal Planet and other networks, is determined to become the antidote to Bravo, a rival cable network that has perfected the fine art of chasing upscale viewers with wry, trendy, often-sensational fare.

“We tend to be less snarky, edgy,” TLC president Eileen O’Neill said from the company’s offices in Silver Spring, Md. “There’s something for everyone here. We do shoot all around the country. Our topics and people tend to represent a lot of daily American lives — a little less of the edgy, cooler” material than is found on Bravo or elsewhere.

You know, even though I don’t have Bravo on my basic cable, I was wondering when some Patriot Conservative Amurkans would find the brass ones to take on that limp wristed fifth column seditious network of fag hags.

Congratulations, VS. Will ya still talk to us, sometime, maybe, huh?

Right Wing Movie Review We’d Like To See

She may be hauling nets with her husband, Todd

Married or not, you can get arrested for that in many red states.

Thanks, tsam!!!

It’s actually not the first time I’ve been recognized/published, but each time I am, it feels like I won the fucking lottery. I think it’s the self-taught thing… I’m over the moon, in case you can’t tell.

I’m over the moon, in case you can’t tell.

The only known cure, you’ll have to show us your tits.

Hey, everybody, sincere thanks for the congrats. I know this sounds saccharine and ass-kissy but the kudos from you sadlynaughts really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. *hugs self*

Yo, VS, Advanced Photoshop…is that the one published in the UK?

It sure is.

The only known cure, you’ll have to show us your tits.

In the mood I’m in now, I’m sorely tempted.

apparently the New York Times pays $75 a piece for guest op-eds from Charles Murray!

That is totally whacked. In a sane world, Charles Murray would have to pay triple premium rate for a full page ad to get published in the NYT.

I was wondering when some Patriot Conservative Amurkans would find the brass ones to take on that limp wristed fifth column seditious network of fag hags.

Ya know, I’m straight, but I would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER attempt to take on the likes of Kathy Griffin. Confrontation with her is signing your own death warrant.

In the mood I’m in now, I’m sorely tempted.

Of course it bears mentioning that we’re sorely curious.

Ya know, I’m straight, but I would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER attempt to take on the likes of Kathy Griffin. Confrontation with her is signing your own death warrant.

Oh yeah. That woman will Don Rickles your sweet ass. Quick on her fuckin’ feet.

The only known cure, you’ll have to show us your tits.

In the mood I’m in now, I’m sorely tempted.

My cane hurts now!

But it’s the strongest proof yet that TLC, a unit of Discovery Communications, which also operates Discovery, Animal Planet and other networks, is determined to become the antidote to Bravo, a rival cable network that has perfected the fine art of chasing upscale viewers with wry, trendy, often-sensational fare.

I remember a day when “TLC” stood for “The Learning Channel”, not “The Loser Channel”.

If you want a sense of how bad it is out there, apparently the New York Times pays $75 a piece for guest op-eds from Charles Murray!

Anyone want to guess how much more that is than they’re worth? I’ll start the bidding at $74.25.

I’m totally having her baby.

Good. You ruin YOUR figure. Plus, I hear you have the hips for it.

I remember a day when “TLC” stood for “The Learning Channel”, not “The Loser Channel”.

Given much of their content these days, I would say it is “The Lunatic Channel.”

Anyone want to guess how much more that is than they’re worth? I’ll start the bidding at $74.25.

$1575.00. He should have to pay them to get published.

Given much of their content these days, I would say it is “The Lunatic Channel.”

Slow down! I’m going to need that in my act…The…..Looooon.a…tic….Channel…There!

Good. You ruin YOUR figure. Plus, I hear you have the hips for it.

Oh, SNAP.

Plus, I hear you have the hips for it.

I guess I’ll have to live with winning the Coney Island Mermaid Parade in 1987 all my life, huh?

I guess I’ll have to live with winning the Coney Island Mermaid Parade in 1987 all my life, huh?

LULZ

Poormouth

I could really go for a beer right about now.

I could really go for a beer right about now.

I never trust a review of an Irish bar done by a Jew. I’m just sayin’…

I never trust a review of an Irish bar done by a Jew. I’m just sayin’…

I make it a point to avoid Irish themed bars.

Heartland values are indeed what TLC pushes, carving out a profitable niche in a reality TV marketplace otherwise filled with sex-drenched youth soaps ( MTV’s “Jersey Shore”) or aspirational voyeurism (HGTV’s entire programming block).

God Almighty, as if reality TV wasn’t the source of enough pain already.

And now the network is making maybe its strongest play yet for the non-elite, middle-class audience,

No middle classes in urban and suburban areas, apparently.

with a new show starring the queen of Red State America, Sarah Palin.

Nothing says “middle class” like $12 million a year income (http://www.examiner.com/x-4819-Cable-TV–Celebrity-Examiner~y2010m4d15-Sarah-Palin-income-12-million-dollars-since-leaving-office).

Late to the party but yay for VS!

I make it a point to avoid Irish themed bars.

I dunno. Paddy’s Potato Famine Bar and Grill does a nice job. I especially like the bulimic waitresses who cough in your beer. I could do without the floor show of people pretending to pass out from starvation.

And the birthday cake celebration. Nothing says “happy birthday” like having clay fashioned like a cake, iced with plaster of paris and sheep dung.

THANKS, Xecky!

Completely OT story. Last night I was at this thing. Super-boring BBQ at a mcmansion in Maryland. (In the last thread I mentioned I saw a Glenn Beck book in the place….*shudder*) So anyway, hubby and I and a couple other people were sitting at a table outdoors, eating ribs. So this guy comes up to the table and is about to sit down. I say–completely joking and obviously so–“Hey…nobody said you could sit here.” And he says in reply–with just a TEENSY bit of serious umbrage–“I didn’t ask.” So…he’s my enemy for life now, right?

I never trust a review of an Irish bar done by a Jew. I’m just sayin’…

Look, as long as she’s not slaggin’ on the trad breakfast for being treif…

I make it a point to avoid Irish themed bars.

Not a theme- my neck of the woods has places listed in the phone books back in the old country. This place is no Tipsy McStagger’s- hell, it’s named after a work by Flann O’Brien.

Oh, and congrats VS.

Would you consider airbrushing a design on the side of a van?

Look, as long as she’s not slaggin’ on the trad breakfast for being treif…

Did ya read the comments, laddie?

Would you consider airbrushing a design on the side of a van?

The cops might take exception to “Ass, Gas or Grass! No one rides for free” in three foot high letters.

Would you consider airbrushing a design on the side of a van?

Ha! I love the idea of my art on a van. And athankee! 🙂

I dunno. Paddy’s Potato Famine Bar and Grill does a nice job. I especially like the bulimic waitresses who cough in your beer. I could do without the floor show of people pretending to pass out from starvation.

And the birthday cake celebration. Nothing says “happy birthday” like having clay fashioned like a cake, iced with plaster of paris and sheep dung.

My home town has a very strong Irish presence, so to speak. Their posing and silly observation of mythical traditions makes me want to puke before I’m even drunk. I have never been able to figure out why so many Irish people think that being Irish means something more than being just another pasty, loudmouthed white guy.

” And he says in reply–with just a TEENSY bit of serious umbrage–”I didn’t ask.” So…he’s my enemy for life now, right?

Oh yes. That’s definitely a veiled “fuck you, female”. You must set aside time to cock punch him. It has to come from you, not your husband, who should be filming this for posting to Youtube, which you will promptly link to on this site.

I have never been able to figure out why so many Irish people think that being Irish means something more than being just another pasty, loudmouthed white guy.

Ironically, as with all ethnic groups, I find this kind of behavior more prevalent in third and fourth generations than in first and second. Most of the Irish I know “off the boat” are just trying to fit into society.

I have never been able to figure out why so many Irish people think that being Irish means something more than being just another pasty, loudmouthed white guy.

Whatever you do, try to stay out of Butte, Montana. Of course, I would advise that even if you loved the Irish.

“Oh yes. That’s definitely a veiled “fuck you, female”. You must set aside time to cock punch him. It has to come from you, not your husband, who should be filming this for posting to Youtube, which you will promptly link to on this site.”

I KNOW, right? Total doucher…I knew I wasn’t imagining it. Rubbed me the wrong way.

TLC is the midgets, Duggars, and fat people network.

Palin is a mental midget and like the Duggars has a handicapped child due to continuing to birth babies beyond age 40.

Sounds like a good fit.

(and congrats, vs!)

Just got here — HUGE congratulations, VS. That’s terrific news!

Most important: Congratulations, VS!

Less important (and on topic): Shorter Jonah:

The free market is the best and only way to set the prices of goods and services and no interference with it is acceptable, unless it causes a decrease in , the wages I receive for producing my drivel, in which case SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

Okay, honestly, the comma between “in” and “the” was not in the plan.

Ironically, as with all ethnic groups, I find this kind of behavior more prevalent in third and fourth generations than in first and second. Most of the Irish I know “off the boat” are just trying to fit into society.

And the people it drives craziest of all are the actual Irishmen back home in Eire. (And Italians, and such and such and such).

Did ya read the comments, laddie?

Two old comments, two long-ago visits. The regular crowd is very laid back and literate, most of the Manhattan College visitors are a nice bunch.

My home town has a very strong Irish presence, so to speak. Their posing and silly observation of mythical traditions makes me want to puke before I’m even drunk.

My spider-sense tells me that most of these people wouldn’t know a bodhran from a bindlestick. I imagine most of these people are just trying to come up with an alternative to “default white guy”.

Most of the Irish I know “off the boat” are just trying to fit into society.

A lot of the ones up here come to make money, so they can retire in comfort back home. Of course, no blowhards on the Teevee are bitching about them taking jobs from ‘Murkans.

TLC is the midgets, Duggars, and fat people network.

Palin is a mental midget and like the Duggars has a handicapped child due to continuing to birth babies beyond age 40.

Just imagine a thousand-pound Palin, being shipped out of Wasilla on a flatbed to Richard Simmons’ compound!

And the people it drives craziest of all are the actual Irishmen back home in Eire.

The funny thing about the whole undocumented worker thing is that the people trying to get into seek a better life are going to bust their asses to make sure that happens (for the most part. There naturally are people who are here for more nefarious motives).

Nearly every problem I’ve heard teabaggers mention are usually more prevalent in succeeding generations of anchor babies and such.

Two old comments, two long-ago visits.

Just checking, boy-o

Whatever you do, try to stay out of Butte, Montana. Of course, I would advise that even if you loved the Irish.

Spokane, WA. Same group that came out with the railroad. These are 3rd and 4th generation dudes. The drinks they sell (one’s called a carbomb, of all of the fucking condescending fucking racist things), are absolutely disgusting, as is Guiness beer.

oops–that was me…

No it wasn’t. It was me.

My spider-sense tells me that most of these people wouldn’t know a bodhran from a bindlestick. I imagine most of these people are just trying to come up with an alternative to “default white guy”.

My bullshit-o-meter is red-lined every minute I spend around these guys. I think you pointed out a big problem, that being 1 in 100 of these toolbags knows jack shit about Irish culture or history.

I guess I feel like I’m staring at 50 Lucky Charms cereal boxes on St. Patrick’s Day, and binge drinking is not a cultural facet of which one should be proud.

No it wasn’t. It was me.

Liar.

Spokane, WA. Same group that came out with the railroad. These are 3rd and 4th generation dudes. The drinks they sell (one’s called a carbomb, of all of the fucking condescending fucking racist things), are absolutely disgusting, as is Guiness beer.

Racists, the Irish? Nah, surely not…

One of the worst things that can happen when an immigrant community finally assimilates is that many of its members then take on the prejudices of their parent society and figure “I’ve got mine so everyone else can just die.” The Irish and all the other Catholic immigrants were treated as badly as the Mexicans today for most of America’s history, but when they finally integrated last century, look how many of them turned into Reagan Democrats whining about welfare queens and lazy blacks.

most of these people wouldn’t know a bodhran from a bindlestick.

Not that I would, either, but I make no claims about being any sort of expert on my German/Welsh heritage. Nor do I prance around like a little bitch and act like I’m better than anyone else because of it.

The Irish and all the other Catholic immigrants were treated as badly as the Mexicans today for most of America’s history,

They waterboard irony. You’re right–they were treated nearly as badly as the Chinese, and Africans took the major brunt of the racist abuse. So it would seem prudent that with such a short interval between then and now, they would remember to defend those who are currently being abused by the system.

(one’s called a carbomb, of all of the fucking condescending fucking racist things)

That shit would probably get you a pounding around here.

I should stop to point out that these toolbags comprise what I would guess to be less than 5% of the Irish heritage population here, and that most “Irish” people I deal with are just plain old people, like myself.

That shit would probably get you a pounding around here.

It SHOULD! This particular crowd seems to think an “Irish Car Bomb” is funny and they pour them down, one after the other.

So it would seem prudent that with such a short interval between then and now, they would remember to defend those who are currently being abused by the system.

Q.F.Motherfuckin’ T.

Fuckin’ shoneens (how do they work?)

I talk too much.

Fuckin’ shoneens (how do they work?)

But Alan Keyes, Michael Steele, too, also.

Spokane, WA. Same group that came out with the railroad

When you’re drivin’ all day
ain’t seen nothin’ but hay
Spokane

“I’ve found very, very few who remember their past condition when prosperity comes. Look at Congress’ attitude on displaced persons – and they all come from displaced persons.”
– Harry Truman

Just imagine the life of luxury you will lead after the divorce. That obviously worked for wives 1, 2, and 3.

she works hard for the money
so hard for it honey

Nor do I prance around like a little bitch and act like I’m better than anyone else because of it.

Agreed.

I just say I’m a mutt, which is pretty much how it is. Irish ancestry is a plurality, but I don’t know much about it all other than having read Brian O’Nolan under his various nyms.

she works hard for the money

As a sci-fi geek I immediately flashed on the slobbery Jabba the Hutt kiss Princess Leia got.

When you’re drivin’ all day
ain’t seen nothin’ but hay
Spokane

HAHAHA! This lib is bookmarkin’ it!

Very apt description. Spokane is Eastern Washington, but really really wants to be Western Idaho.

wtf?

and they all come from displaced persons

Amazing, no? Half my family was German immigrant farmers, the other half came out with the Mormons and the trail went cold from there. I assume I’m very much a mutt and damn proud of not being too damn proud of my heritage. Superior toolbags, please fuck off. Kthxbai.

Whoa. Clapton, that description sounds eerily like my family history.

Congrats VS!!! You deserve every bit of recognition!

Now put some hooters on those nymphs!

Now put some hooters on those nymphs!

That’s right! QUALITY!

Ya know, I’m straight, but I would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER attempt to take on the likes of Kathy Griffin. Confrontation with her is signing your own death warrant.

Oh yeah. That woman will Don Rickles your sweet ass. Quick on her fuckin’ feet.

I LOVE Kathy. I would totally stalk her if I lived in LA. Mostly to try to get on the show…

When she co hosted the new years thing with Anderson Cooper on CNN last year, some guy from the crowd started heckling her as they were leaving Times Square. She shouts back “Don’t you see I’m working here? I don’t go to your place of work and knock the dicks out of your mouth!”

That’s right! QUALITY!

thanks for catching the reference 🙂

Huh. I thought the name “Irish car bomb” was a terrible name for a drink when I first had one years ago. Then I had a few. And it is still a terribly insensitive name for a drink (right up there with Black and Tan) but it is a stand up drink and a fundamental part of any Irish themed binge.

Nor do I prance around like a little bitch and act like I’m better than anyone else because of it.

On St Andrews Day I go around selling t-shirts that say “Kiss me I’m Scottish” and “Everybody’s Scottish on St Andy’s Day” from a cart. (So far I’m $48 in the red after three years.) In the evening I put on my kilt and hit all the Scottish pubs and drink yellow beer til I puke.

Superior toolbags, please fuck off. Kthxbai.

You’re killing me.

And it is still a terribly insensitive name for a drink (right up there with Black and Tan) but it is a stand up drink and a fundamental part of any Irish themed binge.

They are, unfortunately, quite tasty, as are black and tans.

Can we call them Fenian Carriage Petards? is that a diffuse enough meaning that we can order them without getting our ass kicked?

They are, unfortunately, quite tasty, as are black and tans.

True enough, we just need to give them a new name – even something still stereotypey and annoying but more benign, like Leprechaun Jizz.

like Leprechaun Jizz.

I thought that was what they called green beer.

As a sci-fi geek I immediately flashed on the slobbery Jabba the Hutt kiss Princess Leia got.

Rule 34!

And it is still a terribly insensitive name for a drink (right up there with Black and Tan)

I think you are getting carried away if you think “black and tan” is insensitive. How else would you describe this?

How else would you describe this?

Ohhhhhh that picture hurts me.

Can we call them Fenian Carriage Petards? is that a diffuse enough meaning that we can order them without getting our ass kicked?

“Depth Charge” is the acceptable term for those not wanting to get stomped.

As former counsel and trainer in political tactics for ACORN, President Obama used a well-known ACORN tactic, the shakedown, in getting BP to create the $20-billion escrow (slush!) fund without any law, legal controls, or binding rules to guide it on how and how much those injured materially by the oil spill (and whom among them) will be paid. Attorney Kenneth Feinberg, well-respected and well-known for heading the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund, was appointed by the president to administer the escrow fund. BP will pay $5 billion into the fund for four years, starting in 2010.

BP announced early after the spill that it would pay all justifiable claims resulting from the disastrous oil spill. It opened 25 claims offices. As of June 15, BP approved initial payments that amounted to $63 million, expected to rise to $85 million by the end of the week, to businesses claiming $5,000 or more in damages. Why did the president insist that his own personal organization take over the job of paying claims? After all, supervising reparations is a judicial function, not an executive function. BP created its own fund, appointed its administrator, and determined how it will be staffed with a view to ensuring only qualified persons, businesses, and governments would be reimbursed for its losses. Now those decisions will be made politically.

It is obvious that BP’s CEO agreed to create this fund and allow the president to administer it to prevent President Obama from bankrupting their company. After all, the president was on record saying that he would “kick BP’s ass,” and a cabinet members declared he would “put his boot on BP’s neck.” The president, when announcing the creation of the fund, stated that the terms of the fund would keep BP viable. He cannot know this. BP’s liability is not affected by the fund except to the extent claims are voluntarily settled. Those refusing to settle and their lawyers are not bound by it, nor are juries that will hear their lawsuits.

The president has no legal authority to create the escrow fund and no authority to compel BP to contribute to the fund. Forcing BP to agree to the terms of the escrow is ultra vires (i.e., illegal), beyond the powers of his office. Rep. Barton (R-TX) accurately described the slush fund as a “shakedown” (i.e., blackmail), a felony. If so, Pres. Obama has committed an impeachable offense. Congress itself does not have the authority to create the escrow fund retroactively. Congress will have no voice at all except to vilify any Republican who raises questions about it. All the ACORN employees who lost their jobs when the banks stopped paying “blackmail” to ACORN may be getting better-paying new jobs processing claims.

No doubt the media, which show pictures of the spill and pelicans covered with oil 24 hours a day, seven days a week, will hail the president’s tough dealing with BP. But BP’s oil spill deserves the strongest action under the law, not above the law. A few miles away, there are pelicans flying “free as a bird” with no oil on them. Not a single photo of them. And more than 10,000 barrels of the spilled oil are being recovered by BP daily with no photos at all; vessels are skimming oil near the spill, and no photos. And the federal government has yet to grant exception to the Jones Act that is preventing foreign vessels ready to skim oil from getting closer to shore to prevent more serious damage which would, incidentally, help save a lot of pelicans. No wonder BP believed it had to surrender to the president.

You don’t have to be paranoid to suspect the president (and many in the media) of ulterior motives, a hidden agenda. If you can get enough people to hate the oil companies, you might get the cap-and-trade bill passed. By the time they regret such hasty action, it will be too late to undo the damage. Cap-and-trade was given no chance for passage before the spill. The president pacified the environmental extremists by banning drilling in the Gulf for six months, adding to the rolls of the unemployed and increasing our dependence on foreign oil. To make the hidden agenda more believable, the president overreached by getting BP to agree to pay the lost wages incurred by workers who lost their jobs as the result of the president’s six-month moratorium on drilling in the Gulf. The hidden agenda obviously includes getting cap-and-trade passed. It looks like “cap-and-trade, cap-and-trade, cap-and-trade” has displaced “jobs, jobs, jobs.”

The president employed a similar tactic when he nationalized GM, violating the bankruptcy laws by denying bondholders their rightful control of the future of those enterprises, and he gave the bondholders’ interest in GM to the unions instead, literally. He gave Chrysler to Fiat. The bondholders of both gave their consent, being afraid of having their asses kicked or having a boot on their necks.

When an executive uses threats to secure the “cooperation” of private businesses, we have a name for it: fascism. It is the kind of act we expect from Venezuela’s Chávez, not from a president who swore to uphold the U.S. Constitution and its separation of powers. I believe the President’s behavior is ultra vires and that he has committed an impeachable offense.

@ irony:

Ahem

On St Andrews Day I go around selling t-shirts that say “Kiss me I’m Scottish” and “Everybody’s Scottish on St Andy’s Day” from a cart. (So far I’m $48 in the red after three years.) In the evening I put on my kilt and hit all the Scottish pubs and drink yellow beer til I puke.

Yea, well, my St Urho’s day concessions should be so profitable…

Well, yeah, I did sign something before that most glorious day of my life. Rush’s lawyer said it was just a formality or something and I had only had four martinis and Rush says I can spend up to THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH!!! and I can wear kneepads if I want to. And I don’t even have to cook!!!

Is Obama’s BP Shakedown an Impeachable Offense?

No.

This has been yet another chapter of Short Answers for Shithole Questioners.

and I can wear kneepads if I want to.

Hm, where did I put that drill?

Is Obama’s BP Shakedown an Impeachable Offense? said,

June 21, 2010 at 21:22

You know, I sometimes wonder what would happen if politicians just said, fuck it, we’re not even going to pretend to hold big businesses or the rich accountable. BP doesn’t have to pay a damn thing, it’s all gonna come from you the taxpayer or, failing that, the feds just shouldn’t get involved at all.

Would it help at all if everyone not completely committed to the New Gilded Age simply dropped out of politics and let the little bitches run their rugged individualist wet dream until it hit the wall?

“Depth Charge” is the acceptable term for those not wanting to get stomped.

That is racist against Atlanteans, and Aquaman and the Sub-Mariner are going to beat you soundly and hand you over to the Geoduck King.

Also, Splash Woman.

True enough, we just need to give them a new name – even something still stereotypey and annoying but more benign, like Leprechaun Jizz.

Yea, that’s a whole lot more PC….

What’s wrong with Black and Tan? That’s what the damned drink looks like!

Is Obama’s BP Shakedown an Impeachable Offense?

No.

Or, YES! YES IT IS! By all means encourage your elected representatives to impeach Obama over getting BP to cough up cash for a cleanup of the mess they made.

black and tan:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_and_Tans

BP announced early after the spill that it would pay all justifiable claims resulting from the disastrous oil spill.

BP also announced prior to the spill that they had the technology and a plan in case of an oil spill that would contain the spill and keep it from reaching shore.

The problem with carbombs and blacks and tan is that they generally contain the world’s most overrated beer.

Whiskey ruins the taste of stout anyway, if you ask me. Drink the whiskey, then drink the beer. Clears out the mouth for another whiskey.

When an executive uses threats to secure the “cooperation” of private businesses, we have a name for it: fascism.

Wow–all this time I thought “fascism” meant something totally different. But in the defense of a company that’s spending less than half of it’s daily profits on cleaning up a mess they made, I’ll go ahead and adopt your neo version of it.

Yea, well, my St Urho’s day concessions should be so profitable…

The communications officer from the Enterprise was a real saint!

“Yea, well, my St Urho’s day concessions should be so profitable…

The communications officer from the Enterprise was a real saint!”

Silly rabbit. That O’Huru. Funny, she didn’t look Irish.

When an executive uses threats to secure the “cooperation” of private businesses, we have a name for it: fascism.

So EVERY CONSTRUCTION COMPANY who has to post a bond to the city or county is being hijacked and held for ransom? A mechanic’s lien on a city vehicle, however, is perfectly acceptable.

Whiskey ruins the taste of stout anyway, if you ask me.

That’s a boilermaker. A black and tan is two beers, one heavy and dark, one light and amber.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_and_Tans

OK, was not aware of that attribution.

So EVERY CONSTRUCTION COMPANY who has to post a bond to the city or county is being hijacked and held for ransom? A mechanic’s lien on a city vehicle, however, is perfectly acceptable.

There ya go–see how far one of these randroid assholes will take it.

The problem with carbombs and blacks and tan is that they generally contain the world’s most overrated beer.

Well, you don’t have to use Guinness, of course. And it’s not like that beverage that involves dropping a glass of whiskey into a pint of stout is meant to be *tasted*, anyway.

But, yeah, black and tans are generally better with better beers anyway. Not that it matters to me.

Yea, well, my St Urho’s day concessions should be so profitable…

Well, you tell us about this feast day in June, whaddaya expect?

Aquaman and the Sub-Mariner are going to beat you soundly

I live on a hill, those n00bs would be powerless against me!

actor, I was talking about depth charges/ICBs. A boilermaker is a beer and a shot, served separately, which is what I favor.

“Black and tan”, the drink, predates the Black and Tans.

When an executive private businesses uses threats to secure the “cooperation” of private businesses their own labor force and the people of the country they live in via the government, we have a name for it: fascism.

Fixed to take into account what fascism actually is.

Mysticdog, Jennifer, LC–Thank you so much for your congrats! It makes me feel all warm and fluttery in my heart facsimile.

Mysticdog, putting big hooters on my subjects would be completely at odds with the aesthetic I’m trying to create. I’m trying to force people to see beauty in body shapes that don’t conform to today’s standards. (Also, some of my subjects have very babyish faces and I think putting big hooters on them would be pervy and weird.)

actor, I was talking about depth charges/ICBs. A boilermaker is a beer and a shot, served separately, which is what I favor.

OK, I missed you were still on the car bomb.

Here in NY, we distinguish between a beer and shot (on the side, also called a sidecar and a whiskey-back) and a boilermaker (where you drop the jigger into the beer and chug)

opinion journalism

Oxy, meet moron.
I can think of no better demonstration of the current business model of newspapers (i.e. to sell a readership to advertisers, rather than to sell information to readers) than the use of someone’s half-arsed opinions to fill the spaces between the advertisements. Yes, they are cheaper than actual fact-centric stories from home-based reporters or bought from one of the press agencies, but they are worth NOTHING.

If someone has access to special information on a subject that makes their analysis more cogent than other people’s and a better guide to what’s going on, then TELL ME THAT INFORMATION. If they don’t then STFU. This is not journalism.

When I want some dingbat’s ill-informed opinions about the ephemeral distractions of the day, I go down to the pub and tape what I say after a few beers.

ephemeral distractions

Elitist.

Damn, I’m whiny today.

“A few miles away, there are pelicans flying “free as a bird” with no oil on them. Not a single photo of them.”

And what about all the people Hitler didn’t kill and all the goats Mickey Kaus didn’t blow? How come nobody ever talks about that.

(Also, some of my subjects have very babyish faces and I think putting big hooters on them would be pervy and weird.)

Yea.

And….?

When the computer locks up from too many open JPG files,we have a name for it: fascism.
When I stub my toe on the corner of the bed in the middle of the night, we have a name for it: fascism.
When SMcG posts the punchline of a joke two minutes before I click ‘submit’ to send my own comment, we have a name for it: fascism.

“If you want a sense of how bad it is out there, apparently the New York Times pays $75 a piece for guest op-eds from Charles Murray!”

We demand a raise D. Aristophanes.

When SMcG posts the punchline of a joke two minutes before I click ’submit’ to send my own comment, we have a name for it: fascism.

When it rains on your wedding day, we have a name for it: fascism.
When there’s a black fly in your Chardonnay, we have a name for it: fascism.
When the moon in the sky’s a big pizza pie, we have a name for it: fascism.

“(Also, some of my subjects have very babyish faces and I think putting big hooters on them would be pervy and weird.)

Yea.

And….?”

I’m trying to make art, not hentai, dude.

Here late, but so what. VS, congrats- also, my former life in DC taught me that in the ‘burbs, looking good means being good, and all the smarmy bastids look good. My outlaw sensitivities ruffled a lot of feathers at various garden parties/BBQs/assorted ‘get-togethers’/asshole-fests. I escaped to the wild West- Colorado. Now the assholes are more stupid and more frequent. And usually stoned.
No place safe, no where.

It seems that the only thing that can not be called fascism is this:

“The first truth is that the liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in its essence, is fascism — ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power. ”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt,

I’m trying to make art, not hentai, dude.

So you’re saying Caravaggio isn’t art?

I must admit, Pamela Anderson is more a feat of engineering than art, but still…

Well now I want to ask a bunch of nosy questions. Share an anecdote or two sometime! I love good gossip.

I know yer right–there really are a-holes everywhere.

“A few miles away, there are pelicans flying “free as a bird” with no oil on them. Not a single photo of them.”

Holy crap, the creep he cut-and-pasted from actually wrote that?

*backtracking for a mango*

Barton (R-TX) accurately described the slush fund as a “shakedown” (i.e., blackmail), a felony.

Blackmail, or black male?

“I must admit, Pamela Anderson is more a feat of engineering than art, but still…”

Ugh. She represents everything that’s wrong with modern “beauty” to me.

You’re really going to keep going with the “bleeding heart for BP” meme, are you? OK, go right ahead. No one’s stopping you. Bookmark this, libs!

Ugh. She represents everything that’s wrong with modern “beauty” to me.

Which is why she’s not art.

True dat.

I think an apology is in order for Goldman Sacks and AIG also.

Its an old Doonesbury line, VS. Your women are beautiful.

Awwwwww,THANKS

Whatever they’re paying Jonah, it’s too much.

I should point out that given his understanding of fascism, it’s totally unsurprising that he would misspell “statolatry”.

What I like about the continued use of the word “shakedown” is that it’ll only hasten the inevitable “Jerry Garcia was a conservative!” stories you know all these guys have in them.

Don’t tell me this town ain’t got no heart (loyal Tea Party Patriots), you just gotta look around (start a blog or Meetup.com group).

Between the Tea Party folks calling themselves “teabaggers”, and the cornhole contests, let’s just say, You’ve got to remember, that these are just simple farmers, these are people of the land, the common clay of the New West… you know, morons.

There’s a “foodservice” food distribution company operating in my bland little Bible Belt city. I think they’ve only recently changed their motto, but I did see it on one of their big yellow semi trucks the other day. And I’ve seen it on sugar packets in diners:

“Isn’t it a pleasure to eat out?”

>>>I have never been able to figure out why so many Irish people think that being Irish means something more than being just another pasty, loudmouthed white guy.<<>>she works hard for the money
so hard for it honey<<<

(And he's hard of hearing, and he's obnoxious, and selfish, and lacks empathy, and had a pilondial cyst, and needs Viagra, and fucks Lord–knows-what-kind-of-sexworker in the Dominican Republic, and he actively campaigns for evil, and is determined to tell G-d that he's not his brother's keeper, and…)

FYWP!
Pasty loud mouthed Irish guy –> Chris Matthews joke.

Kudos to VS … the work merits the attention.

Alas for the days of witty journalists.

Damn straight … & not only was Ambrose Bierce a premier marksman of snark, but he also happened to be one seriously badass dude. He seemed to actually enjoy the many death-threats he received as a newspaper columnist, & (at least) once faced down a crazed “critic” with a gun showing up at his desk. Try to imagine one of today’s conventional-wisdom-puking lickspittles doing the same.