Chicken Soup For The R’s Soul
Oh, you RedState people and your blowing of goats and chances.
Neil Stevens, RedState:
California results
Bus stops
Bee stings
Robert burns
…So it’s titles, is it?
Happy the man
Man Eating Chicken Chased By Dogs
Um, Half Machine Lip Moves, Another The Letter.1
With 17% reporting:
Sure. Yet there’s no need for concern, RedStater, for it is only a man who is eating chicken out of a bucket, and it is fortunately not a gigantic chicken that is eaty to humans, nor even all that nibbly as far as anybody has said. The wording was ambiguous — i.e. didn’t specify as to how big. So we can all relax and watch the chase go around and around and up the stairs, with the dogs, and back down in the dumb waiter, and out the laundry chute, and around.
Although, sir, as I enjoy with you this spectacle, I find that I am still wondering: California results from what causative processes, specifically? Because under that title are given results that are from California, and nowhere a formula or series of steps for causing another one to result.
I mean, I’m thinking what you might call Total Recall, ha-ha pun intended, but you couldn’t just spirit away the current California late one night and neglect to replace it with a fresh one. People live there and keep there stuff there, and stuff. Plus, can you cause one by accident, and if this happens and they know it was you, how much trouble do you get in (1-10)? Anyway, it’s just something I’ve been wondering about since you mentioned it.
Yes, friends, we can rejoice that Orly Taitz, exalted birtherlord, is being rejected tonight
‘Birtherlord,’ aah, pff. I am a mocker of you, thou narrow-eyed and scowl-traced player upon the RedState failmonica or failkulele. For in such playing your hands are as giant thumbs, clumsy with thumbs and toes all over them, each in this way resembling a thumby, toey sea anemone, sightlesssly tentacular in its stub-thumbery.
Yes, and now we’re getting somewhere, eh? For it is by just such blunt and jointed pokings, in a figurative sense, that words literally arranged by you — with ‘literally’ here used in its own rare literal sense, to denote plain, overt language without witting metaphor, and not in the usual figurative sense of something being to some degree objectively true — woot, bitchuz — that are these from which the bringing of that to me… is… Because where it situates the locus of the present um, heh. Well.
So there you see what happens. Maybe I’m a moron, but I gave you a less-on, so reason your way out of that, and I’ll be down in that paragraph below or some other one. If there’s a special club paragraph with a bar in it, like the commuter trains used to have, that would be the place to look.
Uh, “that are these from the bringing…?” Oog. What, you again? Enough of this foolishness. It is as if the air were my soup bowl and you were dropping a literal Soup Nazi into it, such that it is not infrequent that I now find the gentle wend of my thinking diverted by a perfervid Heiling to the Soup Hitler. Your ears are as kazoos of tin, reeded with crumpliest foil of tin.
You are become Shiva, bother of me, O! RedState. Of your even botherer and botherest moments, chez me, I stand aghast, or realistically stand even at least three or four ghasts, right up in the middle of the room here, as you see, almost like they were chatting at a party. It’s like, whoah. I’ve even got to go sit down for a second, it’s just so, oh man, like ¡Ay, caramba! Heh-heh. No, I mean it’s just, wow.
Hi, me again. You know, lots of times throughout life, you see people being all like, “Blar-har-har. I’m gonna teach you a lesson you’ll never forget.” Well, blar-har yourself, RedStater, because I’ve already taught you a lesson today that even I have forgotten. I’m just that epistemologically tricky. Watch my hand fluttering around over here. Ooh, now it’s an octopus.
Heh heh. Oh, nothing. Just typing.
Yes, friends, we can rejoice that Orly Taitz, exalted birtherlord, is being rejected tonight, losing in the Secretary of State primary 75-25 to Damon Dunn.
Stick a fork in O-Tay, because it’s Dunn.
Meg Whitman runs away in the Governor’s race 65-26.
Whitman sings song of self, contains multitudes. Former eBay head Whitman snipes Jerry Brown. Whitman cancels Brown’s bid.
Schwarzeneggerite Abel Maldonaldo gets the drop on conservative favorite Sam Aanestad 46-28 for LtGov.
Lieutenant Governor race lofts Schwartze…um, negro-ite? WTF!?
Ahem: Abel to Stand Trial.
Boxer crushes Kaus 78-6. Fiorina completes her surge to be up with 57 over Campbell’s 22 and DeVore’s 18.
Jesus on a rocket sled, how could they miss…? Boxer knocks out Kaus, or rope-a-dopes Kaus. Boxer goes bobbity-bobbity on Kaus, punching him with both gloves, like bobbity-bobbity, until the election count comes in, and Kaus is down for the count.
Fiorina bankrupts, pumps and dumps, or lays off Campbell and DeVore.
Cap and Tax backer Mary Bono Mack beats Tea Party upstart Clay Thibodeau 74-26 in district 45.
Mary Bono Mack fires Clay, throws Clay. Clay’s teapot is glazed by her, or is shattered, or she cracks Clay’s pot (for him). Headline: Clay Achin’. Mack tea-balls Thibodeau, whose bid was tea-totaled. Headline: Clay T. Bags Run.
Mary Bono macks on or issues a mackdown to Thibodeau, or when juxtaposed with Thibodeau makes Mack & Cheese. Mack is Kavalier to, jars, or cracks Clay — who goes to pot and whose name is mud. Plus something about Clay’s Twittering Machine (cf. Klee’s Twittering Machine).
Whoops, hand’s got your tie. Come on back here, you hand, and oh my God, it’s a miracle, look at the California Results post! It’s a spontaneous sarcasm event like people often talk about — a wise-krakatoa, if you would, and I already did.
Here, Mr. Hand has it in his mouth all printed out for you, and now you shall go because the trees are all Tunguskulated into flinders and matchsticks, except for outside, through the front door there. Why? Because the comet, and the Cupid. Door closing!
Just remember as you walk through this life, from soup to nuts and hither to thither: Are we human, or are we Danzig? Door is a jar! Door closing!
Well, they’re gone. Quiet around here. Get some of that bucket chicken, maybe a drumstick. No wait, plot twist. There’s something that… [baritone squawking of gigantic chicken. bone-tearing, squitching, and other unpleasantly biological sounds. blood-chilling and/or bone-curdling screams. baritone crow of triumph suddenly trails off. dogs all at once baying in medium distance, getting nearer. knock on door. door opens.]
Nikitas3, RedState:
To Hell with EuropeEurope today is like a museum with all its precious paintings and artifacts. And its people are like listless, apathetic museum guards whose big accomplishment is to take coffee for hours at the corner bistro while droning on endlessly about every subject in the world like the phony left-wing intellectuals that so many of them are.
1) B’KAA! B’KAAK! AAP-AAP-UCK-UCK KAAAK! B’KAAAK B’KAAAK B’KAAAAAA….
2) ROOR-ROO-RUR-ROO-ROOR-OOR-ROO-ROOR-ROO-ROO!!!-RURURURURURU…
3) AAAH! OMG I HAVE NO LEGS! COUGH-COUGH OOH! OOH! OMG UGH AGH….
America is like a factory that makes things. We Americans are not afraid of work, or getting our hands dirty. We are industrious and creative and rational people. Our powerful military has kept the world safe. Through our economic might, America has cared for the world time and time again, even though we are such a young nation.
1) B’KAAAK B’KAAAK [RIP SHRED SNERF SPATTER CRUNCH] B’KAAAKKITA-KAKKITA-KAAK-K’KAAK….
2) RURURURURURURU-YIPE!-YIPE!-YIPE!-YIPE!-YIPE!-YIPE!-ROOO-RURURURURURURURURURURU….
3) CRAWLING-AGH-JESUS-UGH Whew. Hey, I have pants just like these. OMG AAAH IT’S A LEG! OMFG!….
4) Dude, when the dogs stopped chasing OMG THIS DUDE’S GOT NO LEGS! 911-911 OMG HELP YAAAH….
Now we have economic chaos in Greece and other European nations. Again. We conservatives warned about this. Europe is prone to war, economic cataclysm and social collapse because of its unstable political systems. That is what our Founders recognized and why they created a more stable nation called America….
1) B’KAAAAAAK! B’KAAAK! B’KAK-KAK-KAK….
2) rururu…? ru…? AROOO!-RURURURURURURURURURU….
3) LEG! EW! EW! CRAWLING-OH, HELL WITH IT breathe snerf pant uck pant pant EEK! CRAWL-GO-GO….
4) OMG! WHAT’S THE NUMBER FOR 911? HELLO? HELLO? IS THIS 411? WHAT’S THE NUMBER FOR 911?….
5) SUPPE-HEIL! SUPPE-HEIL! SUPPE-(Das ist schön heiße Erbsensuppe für Herr Hitler)-HEIL! SUPPE…
Now we have the specter of economic ‘contagion’ spreading from free-spending Greece to the other free spenders in Europe. And to America.
Meanwhile our own economic collapse stemmed from trillions of dollars being lent to poor people who could not pay it back via Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, FHA and the Community Reinvestment Act. In other words, Euro-type socialism and wealth redistribution.
1) aak-ak…. [tee-hee snork-giggle b’kaak]
2) roo? ruh-ruh hmph. ruh. OOO-rururururururururururururuROOO-RURURURURU….
3) WHAT ARE? WITH THE PHONE? IT’S 911! IT’S 911! JUST, HEY? UM? EEK. MUST GET AHEAD OF NARRATIVE, CRAWL UNDER TABLE….
4) NONONO, I DON’T NEED THE NUMBER FOR THE ACTUAL NUMBER! I NEED, LOOK, CAN I JUST EXPLAIN…YES, I’LL HOLD. har. hold my wang, that is. YO I’M ON HOLD….
5) SUPPE-HEIL! Das ist schön… HERR HITLER! Ja, aber es ist ein ungeheuerliche Huhn.
6) Dum-dee-doot-ACH! Hier ist Hitler. Hast du wirklich Erbsensuppe für mich? Ein Huhn? Ich höre Hunde….
Notes:
1 Cf. Chrome album, cf. Wire song.
Yes, friends, we can rejoice that Orly Taitz, exalted birtherlord, is being rejected tonight
Orly Taitz will sue Irky Irksome and the whole RedState fortune.
America is like a factory that makes things.
Except that the pipes leak. And there’s no maintenance crew. And the lunchroom has a black and white TV. And what factory doesn’t make things?
Can we talk about Obama’s badonkadonk some more?
Come to think of it, I’ve been meaning to finish Finnegan’s Wake.
Europe today is like a museum with all its precious paintings and artifacts. And its people are like listless, apathetic museum guards whose big accomplishment is to take coffee for hours at the corner bistro while droning on endlessly about every subject in the world like the phony left-wing intellectuals that so many of them are.
America today is like a Wal-Mart with all its cheap Chinese manufactured crap and 56 check-out lanes, 53 of which are never open. And its people are like sedentary TV zombies riding power chair shopping carts whose big accomplishment is finding a bathmat on clearance for $1.50 because it has a dog poop stain and taking up the whole goddamn aisle like the cheap, lazy, inconsiderate bastards that so many of them are.
See, I can do it, too! Maybe I should write for Redstate…
Again. We conservatives warned about this. Europe is prone to war, economic cataclysm and social collapse because of its unstable political systems. That is what our Founders recognized and why they created a more stable nation called America….
Apparently too big to fail never happened here.
Also, too, when exactly did these jokers warn that CDO swaps were going to bring national economies to their knees again? I could’ve sworn that at the time it was happening, it was unencumbered capitalism at its Randian zenith.
Also, I thought China was the factory that made things.
America is the higher-level management that pushes numbers and papers around for a while until the three-hour martini break is there, and then they take off for the rest of the day. Meanwhile the proles have to hold in their pee until their shift’s over.
See, I can do it, too! Maybe I should write for Redstate…
Getting on the “hottest conservative women” list isn’t worth it, T&U!!!
And you’d need a bigger adam’s apple to be taken seriously.
America is like a factory that makes things.
Except that the pipes leak. And there’s no maintenance crew. And the lunchroom has a black and white TV. And what factory doesn’t make things?
And the owners of the factory lost interest in making things fifty years ago and now just want to sit around and masturbate with hundred-dollar bills.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
June 10, 2010 at 18:38
Europe today is like a museum with all its precious paintings and artifacts. And its people are like listless, apathetic museum guards whose big accomplishment is to take coffee for hours at the corner bistro while droning on endlessly about every subject in the world like the phony left-wing intellectuals that so many of them are.
America today is like a Wal-Mart with all its cheap Chinese manufactured crap and 56 check-out lanes, 53 of which are never open. And its people are like sedentary TV zombies riding power chair shopping carts whose big accomplishment is finding a bathmat on clearance for $1.50 because it has a dog poop stain and taking up the whole goddamn aisle like the cheap, lazy, inconsiderate bastards that so many of them are.”
oh SNAP
Getting on the “hottest conservative women” list isn’t worth it, T&U!!!
Oh, I know. I was just throwing that out there to indicate that I was (mostly) joking.
BTW, somebody could totally start up a blog called BlueState and just write parody posts of the RedState blog entries, but like they were written by stereotypical liberals. If that hasn’t been done. And if someone does do it, I totally want credit and a spot on the staff.
“Europe today is like a museum with all its precious paintings and artifacts. And its people are like listless, apathetic museum guards whose big accomplishment is to take coffee for hours at the corner bistro while droning on endlessly about every subject in the world like the phony left-wing intellectuals that so many of them are.”
moronic screeds like this fairly drip with envy. You just know this fuckface is jealous no one invites him to smarty-pants coffee klatches.
My nym would be SassandTits.
Hast du wirklich Erbsensuppe für mich?
Ja
And don’t go looking for the leg by searching on heiße.
It has something to do with BHO’s new implants, according to the Germans.
“TruculentandUnreliable said,
June 10, 2010 at 19:02
My nym would be SassandTits.”
Mine would be Misanthropy’n’mams
You just know this fuckface is jealous no one invites him to smarty-pants coffee klatches
Or even wrasslin-watchin cheeto tastings.
My nym would be SassandTits.
Mmmmmm. German sausage…
My nym would be SassandTits.”
Mine would be Misanthropy’n’mams
I would subscribe to either…thouht to be fair, I would read “It-doesn’t-matter-what-witticism-I-put-here-you-will-forget-it-when-you-see-and-Boobs”.
Or at least look at the pictures.
America is like a factory that makes things.
Sadly, No. We managed to send most of the manufaturing jobs overseas. We make weapons and not much else. But what the hey, humans enjoy killing each other, so we might as well make money on it.
We make weapons and not much else.
I think there’s still room for a lucrative export industry in centipede husbandry.
1. Dig big hole.
2. Throw in lots of chickens.
3. ?????
4. PROFIT!
“I totally want credit and a spot on the staff”
VSTDR?
Mmmmmm. German sausage…
Is it possible to submit a TWSS on behalf of a spouse?
Get your goddamn rope motherfuckers, when the goddamn Batman says jump motherfuckers the turners start swingin’ and you start singin’, motherfuckers:
Oh, Mary Mack Mack Mack
all dressed in black black black
with GOP buttons buttons buttons
all down her back back back
She asked her party party party
for fifty cents cents cents
to see an Teabagger Teabagger Teabagger
jump over the fence fence fence
He jumped so high high high
he reached the sky sky sky
and didn’t come back back back
til the fourth of July ly ly
Now, then… if you please, tell me all about Ranger Rick and his unit of considerable length.
VSTDR?
No. Even if I had a staff, that’s not really something I’d ask for.
Is it possible to submit a TWSS on behalf of a spouse?
Only if his balls are detachable and currently residing in your pocket.*
*Veiled…never mind.
I think there’s still room for a lucrative export industry in centipede husbandry.
I can honestly say that I’d never considered that. I was planning to buy BP stock and make a killing about 2 years down the road.
Only if his balls are detachable and currently residing in your pocket.*
Not last time I checked.
*Veiled…never mind.
Ben-Wa reference?
See, I can do it, too! Maybe I should write for Redstate…
HEY!
I own your ass now!
BTW, somebody could totally start up a blog called BlueState and just write parody posts of the RedState blog entries, but like they were written by stereotypical liberals.
I used to blog at Little Green Fascists, which mocked Charles “Little” Johnson
Fixed to reflect actual reality.
Oh, and I will punch the next person who, to my face, tries to blame the economic collapse on poor people and the CRA.
Last I checked, poor folks don’t set underwriting standards, didn’t willfully target those who couldn’t pay back their loans (ala Wells Fargo), and 80% of bad loans were made by non-CRA-mandated institutions.
So Nikitas3braincells can kindly fuck the hell off.
America is like a factory that makes things.
This guy:
A. Has never been to Europe,
B. Masturbates to pickup commercials.
C. Has no idea of economics beyond “2 for 1 burritos” at 7-11
d. All the above.
HEY!
I own your ass now!
Whatever gave you the impression that’s how I conduct any of my business?
Whatever gave you the impression that’s how I conduct any of my business?
You mean today?
You mean today?
You’re lucky I haven’t put up a new shelf for my ball collection yet…
VgoatseR? *
Still haven’t seen the infamous pic, but still feel traumatized understanding the reference now.
Manufacturing is 22% of the EU GDP, and only 12% of the US GDP. Just sayin’
Oh, right. What’s really awesome is some Yay-hoo down in Georgia sitting around writing “America is so awesome because….while Europe is so over because…..” as if it really mattered.
Manufacturing is 22% of the EU GDP, and only 12% of the US GDP. Just sayin’
Well, excuuuuse me, Mr. SmartyPants Liberal, with your “facts” and your “data” and your “reality”!
You’re lucky I haven’t put up a new shelf for my ball collection yet…
No, I’m lucky my first ex took those in the divorce.
Still haven’t seen the infamous pic, but still feel traumatized understanding the reference now.
OK, it’s a lot like my etchings…which you’d see if you hadn’t defriended me on Facebook, I might add…except more so.
That is what our Founders recognized and why they created a more stable nation called America….
You mean the one that had a devastating Civil War that rent the nation in two and killed or maimed much of its male population some 75 years into its history?
No, I’m lucky my first ex took those in the divorce.
Yours don’t regenerate? Huh.
Yours don’t regenerate? Huh.
You think I’m a gecko or something?
Yours don’t regenerate? Huh.
This tells me more about your home life than I ever wanted to know.
It must really suck to be a banker. All those poor people stealing brazillions of dollars from your bank and not a god-damn thing that you or your legions of lobbyists can do about. They all ought to go Galt and volunteer for ACORN so they can get on the gravy train — that’ll teach the Left.
Is it just me, or are Irky’s nutsack remoras getting dumber?
You think I’m a gecko or something?
No, I just thought…
This tells me more about your home life than I ever wanted to know.
…oh. Never mind.
This tells me more about your home life than I ever wanted to know.
*cokespit*
She’s got sharp teeth and a strong jaw, apparently.
Well, it’s not like I do it on purpose. Most of the time, anyway.
Well, it’s not like I do it on purpose. Most of the time, anyway.‘
You…intrigue me with this concept.
Is it just me, or are Irky’s nutsack remoras getting dumber?
Yeah, but Trig is a lot smarter today.
He misspelled China.
Blaming the real estate bubble on government lending and “socialism” is cute, really cute.
All of the lenders that blew up were making money hand over fist by lowering their standards and devising new and interesting way to rope borrowers into suicide loans guaranteed to blow up in 2 to 5 years down the road.
The negative-am lending was particularly special. Outfilts like WaMu could actually claim the loan interest their borrowers WEREN’T paying as CURRENT INCOME.
Total mortgage loans went from $5.2T in 2001 to $10.5T in 2008, over $5T of new lending.
CRA had very little to do with it. I would say nothing but I have seen an argument that CRA-covered banks like WaMu wouldn’t be allowed to merge unless they had good CRA scores.
He’ll be the William F. Buckley of the Tea Party at this rate.
You…intrigue me with this concept.
That was a very strategic choice of words.
rope borrowers into suicide loans
Awesome term. gonna start using it without permission 😛
He’ll be the William F. Buckley of the Tea Party at this rate.
YOU STOP MAKING FUN OF TRIG!
And what’s with the constant euro-hating these guys do? I like where I live just fine but I’ve got some fond memories of hanging out in Spain drinking cold beer and eating yummy food. Have any of these knuckledraggers even been outside the country?
Have any of these knuckledraggers even been outside the country?
No. SASQ.
I didn’t de-friend you, you big dumb-head. I deactivated my account. I would NEVA de-friend ACTOR!!!!!
If it helps, I did feel a vague twinge of guilt before hitting “Submit Comment.”
Oh, you RedState people and your blowing of goats and chances.
Which reminds me. Anyone know if Kaus has answered those allegations yet?
I expect not, but it really would be hilarious to hear someone just throw that question at him at a press conference. Now that his anti-Union, anti-immigration stance somehow didn’t catch on with California Democrats, we just may never know.
I deactivated my account.
Oh. Well. Carry on.
Manufacturing is 22% of the EU GDP, and only 12% of the US GDP.
Germany is the world’s #2 exporter. Germany does not have a deficit. And just to make someone’s head explode, Germany has universal health care and strong unions.
Half Machine Lip Moves
I HAVE THAT ALBUM.
Ezekiel 23:20
“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
Um, that’s an interesting translation: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses., which is more a comment on the women of Babylonia than on the men, and is used in the context of comparing the cities of Samaria and Jerusalem.
Curiously, God names Jerusalem the slutty sister, but that’s a digression.
So basically America is like a factory that makes dodgy financial instruments rubber-stamped “AAA.”
America today is like a Wal-Mart with all its cheap Chinese manufactured crap and 56 check-out lanes, 53 of which are never open. And its people are like sedentary TV zombies riding power chair shopping carts whose big accomplishment is finding a bathmat on clearance for $1.50 because it has a dog poop stain and taking up the whole goddamn aisle like the cheap, lazy, inconsiderate bastards that so many of them are.
If you’re going to write shit for Redstate, your hate rants should be a little less accurate than the the above.
you big dumb-head
Ouch!
“tsam said,
June 10, 2010 at 22:27
you big dumb-head
Ouch!”
sometimes I have to get tough.
you big dumb-head
Ouch!
Well, in fairness, she knows its big and it does not speak. It does spit a lot, tho, like a horse.
apathetic museum guards whose big accomplishment is to take coffee for hours at the corner bistro while droning on endlessly about every subject in the world like the phony left-wing intellectuals that so many of them are.
No, Eric-is-father-to-the-man, they have these things in Europe called cities. Cities where people make stuff and do stuff! Cities where people walk really fast and you have to pay extra if you want to sit down while you drink your coffee! Just a bit more type A than Macon Fucking Georgia.
Why do I get the feeling that everything he knows about Europe he learned from a Taster’s Choice commercial?
We Americans are not afraid of work, or getting our hands dirty. We are industrious and creative and rational people.
Industrious == Doing something more challenging than blogging for a living
Creative == Hollywood types
Rational == Intellectuals, scientists
However, I believe the bit about getting the hands dirty. You should see his keyboard.
Chicken Soup? Try crow pie.
Maddow had a segment pointing out that the Conventional Beltway Wisdom (which is incidentally also a major “Real Amerikan TeePartay Paytriot” narrative) is that November 2010 = Armageddon 4 Incumbents, & “Pretty Nifty Tuesday” was supposed to be the foreshadowing for this merciless purge of DC layabouts … except that it seems the voters didn’t get that memo – so instead of a “throw out the bums” slaughter, almost every single winner of either elections or primaries in either party was an incumbent. Teabaggers & their wacko brethren bombed, big-time (cf. the topic of the RedState post: despite her major name-recognition, Orly “Wetter, Tighter, Hornier” Taitz may actually have to get a life now, because her bid for public office was a bust).
Not to mention the comedy of the GOP nominating people like the lady who wants to abolish the DOE, Social Security & nearly anything that isn’t nailed down … or the Chicken Lady … or the Demon Sheep Lady. Back in the 60s, the Yippies ran a pig for president as a joke – & that pig looks a hell of a lot more sensible than a lot of Republican candidates in 2010.
Can Goopers keep their 2010 Failathon alive for another five months? Stay tuned!
Well, it’s not like I do it on purpose. Most of the time, anyway.‘
You…intrigue me with this concept.
Please send Actor your newsletter….
‘Birtherlord,’ aah, pff. I am a mocker of you, thou narrow-eyed and scowl-traced player upon the RedState failmonica or failkulele.
Failccordion.
Europe today is like a museum with all its precious paintings and artifacts. And its people are like listless, apathetic museum guards whose big accomplishment is to take coffee for hours at the corner bistro while droning on endlessly about every subject in the world like the phony left-wing intellectuals that so many of them are.
Museum guards by day, left-wing intellectuals also by day. Jesus Christ, are you a COMPLETE moron?
Meanwhile our own economic collapse stemmed from trillions of dollars being lent to poor people who could not pay it back via Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, FHA and the Community Reinvestment Act. In other words, Euro-type socialism and wealth redistribution.
Oh, you are. Sorry about that.
I’ve been going through Nikitas3’s back catalog of blarg and it’s all that bad. For example:
No, not really; that might have actually been entertaining to read. The actual shorter for “Environmentalism Exposed” would be “Environmentalists are hypocrites and ‘green profiteers’ because they haven’t impeached and lynched Obama for the spill yet.”
In other words, Euro-type socialism and wealth redistribution.
So you people have all the downsides of Euro socialism without the precious paintings and artefacts? Bummer.
Yum! Artifacts! Nobody can cook an artifact like the French.
I just google-translated the German portions of the above screed and just about shit myself laughing out loud. It’s that funny. Oh, man.
Europe is prone to war, economic cataclysm and social collapse because of its unstable political systems.
A death of irony moment – there’s something truly beyond parody in hearing an American, much less an American conservative, lecture anyone else on their countries being “prone to war.” However, moving on.
First, it may shock American conservatives to find that Europe is several countries, not one (though perhaps they can be forgiven – you’d have to be able to place Europe on a map before you could spot things like borders). In this case, a European country named “Greece” is in deep financial shit, as are a few more named “Spain,” “Portugal” and “Italy.” There’s no indication that France, Germany, Britain or the rest are in danger of failing. But I’d expect you not to spot that.
Second, it may shock you to know that economic crises aren’t the end of the world – or needn’t be, at least. The fact that it happened isn’t an indictment of the welfare state model, any more than the Great Depression, the 1970s oil crisis or (ahem) the current recession are an indictment of capitalism. It does indicate a need to reform the system, but there’s still nothing to indicate that the current problems can’t be addressed while still preserving the social safety net.
And in that respect, Europeans still have one incomparable advantage over us; politicians who actually want to salvage the welfare net. If it really is impossible to save it, they’ll come to that conclusion eventually, but not before they give saving the system an honest try. That’s a luxury we don’t have in America, where too many Galtian politicians, having spent the last thirty, shining, Reaganonomic years digging us deeper and deeper into the ditch, have finally dug a hole too deep to get out of and are now screaming to all who will listen that the solution is to dig even more.
The RedState link (because so many people, including one of the two major parties, actually believe it) is confirming an old fear of mine – that conservative fanatics may continue to stifle real, needed reforms enough to condemn the country to a slow stagnation while the rest of the world moves ahead. (See the way conservative ideology turned Spain from the world’s greatest empire to the most backwards country in Europe in just two centuries).
People live there and keep there stuff there, and stuff.
So… two questions:
What part of speech is “there” in this sentence?
Isn’t it spelled “thar”?
Wow, kind of late for this, but I guess the fact that Germany has income distribution AND a relatively modest debt while the USA does not is irrelevant because SHUT UP THAT’S WHY?
The bawking noises were just about right. I think I’m stupider for even having read that excerpt. Gah, I mean, that’s 5th grader with retarded parents stupid. Only spelled correctly.
Actually, Britain’s in a load of shit right now, they’re kind of like the USA but a few acts later in the play, almost totally FIRE economy (at least we have agriculture) coming off a nasty, Cali/Vegas/Phoenix-style housing bubble, but with laws that make it very hard to walk away (jingle mail), banking sector collapse (and nationalization) and of course many individual households who lost big in the Iceland collapse (also banking-fueled, namely, “North American style banking” fueled… yeah, we strike again!!!).
Just, for, you know, clarity’n’shits’n’giggles.
Trouble is, you read this shit and realize that at least a third of America takes the bawking noises as gospel writ, and at least another third listen to them while nodding respectfully and going “hmm, that’s an interesting point of view that certainly deserves my careful consideration.” Which is a very depressing though, because all these people can vote.
Libertine Leftists Get a Green Codpiece in the Alltogether?
No, Eric-is-father-to-the-man, they have these things in Europe called cities. Cities where people make stuff and do stuff! Cities where people walk really fast and you have to pay extra if you want to sit down while you drink your coffee! Just a bit more type A than Macon Fucking Georgia.
Why do I get the feeling that everything he knows about Europe he learned from a Taster’s Choice commercial?
Muahahahaha, now that is some righteous snark!
Btw, those European cafes ain’t cheap (not like US coffee shop/free lounge concept, w/ btw: not as profitable as it sounds*) but I’ve noticed the broke young people usually get a drink and nurse it for hours.
As a USAmerican I still want faster service, though. I mean, people watching is great, but if I sit down to eat, it’s because I’m hungry. NOW. (I liked Italy, they have these “bar” things where you just walk up and order whatever.)
*-sadly, no, I could not find the ur-post on this (it was from the late 90’s by a bitter ex-coffee shop owner)
I was going to leave a comment over there, but the RedState police say it must be respectful. Damn, foiled again.
i would like to apply for the editor-of-gavin’s-prolixity position here at sadlyno.
some questions: what are the hours? and what are the medications?
There’s a leak
there’s a leak in the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers