Rotund Rooter
Above: Pignut; n., a species of hickory tree; a corpulent wingnut pundit.
MRC’s Tim Graham, he of porcine visage who regularly squeals about this or that supposed media bias, thinks he’s caught the MSM using a HUGE double standard. Viz Helen Thomas’s recent inflammatory comments about Israel, for which she has come under fire from all sides and for which she has apologized, Graham thinks he’s discovered proof of the media’s tolerance of anti-Semitism as opposed to its presumably too harsh intolerance of other forms of bigotry. Jowls aquiver, he quotes Ari Fleischer, who wants Thomas fired:
“She should lose her job over this,” Fleischer said in an email. “As someone who is Jewish, and as someone who worked with her and used to like her, I find this appalling.”
“She is advocating religious cleansing. How can Hearst stand by her? If a journalist, or a columnist, said the same thing about blacks or Hispanics, they would already have lost their jobs.”
(Remembering some of the looks liARI used to give Thomas when she’d bust him on some line of Bush Co. crap he was peddling, I lolled at that “used to like her” remark.)
Then Graham manures a perfectly nice web page of immaculate electrons with this pile of crap:
Thomas knows that she could never say the blacks should go back to Africa or the Hispanics should go back to Mexico, she would ruin her over-celebrated reputation as the “dean” of the White House press corps.
Graham forgot to put “like a wingnut would” between the words “say” and “the”, but whatever. First, for Fleischer, “religious cleansing” is exactly Israeli policy when it authorizes the bulldozing of Palestinian neighborhoods and builds in their place settlements for Israeli Jews, then builds fences around said settlements. Should the Israeli government be fired for what it undoubtedly does in practice but what Thomas put in words (which also must be interpreted)? I think so, but I suspect liARI does not. Now for Graham, an education on how these sentiments are not alike. Israel invaded and colonized Palestine, and continues to do so. “The blacks”, it’s true, were part of the invasion and colonization of America but only because they were forced to by the wonderful slaveholders Graham certainly admires. “The Hispanics”, of course, are part indigenous people, part Spanish colonizers; Mexicans can live in a great many states of the American West and be on what was their property before a certain predatory country to the north and east illegally invaded it and stole the land — the type of colonial conquest that the world had seriously begun to frown upon by 1948 and now in 2010 finds absolutely intolerable, but Israel alone among all “Western” countries still practices. If Graham wants to find a double standard there it is: Israel, and the wingnuts and Sensible Liberals who breathlessly extol its righteousness, insist that it be included in the “civilized” community, an outpost of the West surrounded by Oriental “savagery.” But it can’t be. Even America, the most hypocritical nation on earth, knows better than to forcibly and explicitly annex foreign land then cleanse it ethnically or religiously, settling it with “Our Kind”; like any imperial power who’s only in it for the money, when we conquer nowadays we let the original inhabitants stay there, rig some elections, and rule it by puppetry.
The truly rotten thing in Thomas’s comments was the part about Poland and Germany: given the history of Jews in those countries the reference was nasty and intolerable. She should have said Israelis should emigrate to America and quit murdering people in order to steal shit they think a Bronze Age text has promised them. If she had, she’d have been righteous, but still the wingnuts would have blarged because they can’t stand any criticism of their pet Middle Eastern bully.
As black is to Africa, Jew is to _________
(1) Israel
(2) Eden
(3) Poland
(4) Canaan
Sure, but what if the UN forced Germany to give over, say, Bavaria? In fact, one vaguely remembers someone saying this, and one thinks he was a standup comic, like possibly George Carlin, saying basically why should the Palestinians have to essentially pay the price for establishing a Jewish homeland when it was the Germans (and yes, most of the rest of Europe wasn’t exactly trying to stop them, I’m looking at you, Poland) who were responsible? Seems fair enough. Then any land left unoccupied, as it were, can be resettled by Gastarbeiter.
Seriously, though, this makes about as much sense as “hey let’s send all the Jews to that place where their ancestors used to live a zillion years ago and isn’t Babylonia or Egypt”.
Last I checked breaking into thsi country is a crime.
Last I checked, taking a walk and finding a job somewhere was not a crime.
So Helen Thomas should be free to say whatever she wants about Israel, even if it offends Ari Fleisher’s precious feelings? Thanks for your input.
In the interest of accuracy, she did- along with Germany and Poland. The quote gets truncated.
Pignut, oh Pignut!
yep…
The Helen Thomas controversy is just sad.
Seems like the whole world is going mad.
She should have said Israelis should emigrate to America and quit murdering people in order to steal shit they think a Bronze Age text has promised them.
Fucking move ’em all to Montana! The Big MT would swallow Israel whole and nobody would hear from them again for years.
Who knows, maybe Israel could help us deal with all these fucking Aryan crazies!
You betcha, New England Pencildick! I completely totally agree with ya on the political correctness-type stuff a full fifty percent of the time, also!
Now, now, NER, not every woman can live up to your high standards of fuckability, i.e. come from the same mother.
Broder has got to be pissed since he’s the “dean” of the WH press corps.
Did somebody say pignut?
~
It’s simple, they’ve moved castles so they sure as hell could move half a church…
Also, I’ve climbed all over the damn thing in Assassin’s Creed. It’s not that fucking big.
Like I give a shit if Ari Fleischer’s fee fees are fucking hurt. He’s a liar and an equivocator and a defender of some of the most vile acts in American history.
Again, dude, spot on.
Thomas knows that she could never say the blacks should go back to Africa or the Hispanics should go back to Mexico, she would ruin her over-celebrated reputation as the “dean” of the White House press corps.
Of course Graham can’t comprehend that some might want whitey to go back to Europe!
If the MT’s climate is a problem for some, I’m sure a treaty could be created to carve out a part of South Texas as a colony.
Maybe on the Gulf coast?
Just snip off a part of Texas’ Southern tip.
Was Barack Obama In the 1993 Music Video For ‘Whoomp (There It Is)’?
Nah T&U, I think that was Bill Ayers.
“Just snip off a part of Texas’ Southern tip.”
veiled circumsision reference?
Veiled?
~
I just don’t get the gleeful cheerleading for savagery of the wingnut right. Its like they look at the parade of horror that is the history of warfare and say “Cool! Can I have some more?” Will these fuckers think enough people have died when the sky is black with vultures and ash and the streets teem with rats and jackals? Or did I just describe wingnut fantasy camp?
Veiled? Shit!
Should I have used more dirty words?
Or did I just describe wingnut fantasy camp?
They all plan to be; or suck up to, Dennis Hopper’s character in Waterworld.
With dialogue borrowed from his character in “True Romance”. Or “Blue Velvet”, more likely.
Sure, but what if the UN forced Germany to give over, say, Bavaria? In fact, one vaguely remembers someone saying this, and one thinks he was a standup comic, like possibly George Carlin
It was Michael Moore in one of his books.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma. It’s a desert, they could probably do a whole lot with it.
“Should I have used more dirty words?”
Yes. Wouldn’t want to be P.C. or N.E.R. might get offended.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma
Then, lets give the Palestineans North Texas, (to add a little more spice to existing college football rivalries) then we can move the Tibetans into the newly vacant Isreal, west bank and Gaza strip. Everyone wins! Oh and we can give amnesty to all undocumented immigrants if they move to any part of the US we stole from Mexico! Wingnut ragegasms for everyone! I don’t see a down side.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma. It’s a desert, they could probably do a whole lot with it.
Uhhhh…where do we send the Indians, then?
Should I have used more dirty words?
Shit, it certainly never fucking hurts.
Uhhhh…where do we send the Indians, then?
Detroit?
Last I checked breaking into thsi country is a crime.
This is indeed an innovative spelling mistake that is well worth spamming into two consecutive comment threads.
The Committee believes it has a solution to the problem:
“You should seriously consider how much your adherence to your religious clap-trap is fucking up your daily lives.”
Just Saying,…
Uhhhh…where do we send the Indians, then?
Detroit?
Hell. It’d be an improvement.
I lolled at that “used to like her” remark
Get to work, slacker. No lolling allowed.
This thread is trolltastic.
You know, Free Bird really is awesome.
My neighbor gets really pissed when I try to build a settlement in his back yard.
I told him that my holy book clearly states that my ancestors lived there thousands of years ago so by rights it should be my land.
He wandered off muttering something about a shotgun.
Speaking of trolls, I was at the post office today. Slow line, because some guy was complaining about something. He was florid, mid-60s, Lands End and Tommy Bahama from head to toe. Cute straw hat. He was complaining about how he gets mail for other people a lot, and he’s complained 50 times, and nothing gets done. And then he said, “it’s because half of these mailmen don’t speak English, and they do racial hiring.”
I guffawed aloud from the next register. The lady behind the counter said “say WHAT,” and the idiot just kept going. He managed to work taxes and privatization into his rant.
I finally turned to him and said, “man, I’d switch to UPS,” and departed.
I think it might have been Troofie.
I would be very, very surprised if Troofie is older than fourteen. Might’ve been Gary, though.
You know, Free Bird really is awesome.
No cilantro or brussels sprouts for SMcG!
“As someone who is Jewish… I find this appalling.”
Given that the right to be appalled is apparently linked to religious tribe, as someone who is not Jewish, I couldn’t give a dingo’s dick.
I’m 1/64th Jewish, and just about that much offended.
“I would be very, very surprised if Troofie is older than fourteen. Might’ve been Gary, though.”
(I don’t understand any of that tab-click talk ya’ll know, but I could resuscitate your dead baby and sew your clitoris back on if you need me to, also.)
I disagree. Troofie is 20 years old. He’s read one book and he’s known small amounts of heartache, which he blames upon the OTHERS. He’ll be set up in an ugly tract house or row-house when he’s thirty, stuck in a bad marriage and a dead-end mid-level hob, which he will blame upon the OTHERS. When he is fifty, he will realize all of the disappointments of his life- failed work life, loveless personal life, kids who hate him, complete and utter bitterness. He will blame this upon the OTHERS, and he will take a rifle to work.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma.
Only if we can prove that the Cherokee are the lost tribe.
as someone who is not Jewish
Funny, you don’t look not Jewish.
Whether or not I am offended is easily worth the lives of an uncountable bunch of people I’ve never met.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma Only if we can prove that the Cherokee are the lost tribe
OH FUCK YOU ANDROID.
Anyway, I’m 1/16 Cherokee and about that much offended.
See? It wasn’t even worth it.
I’m sorry, by the way. I meant Gary, rest his soul.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi what he’ll have. “Manischewitz,” the rabbi says. The bartender asks the priest what he’d like. “Irish whiskey,” the priest replies, rubbing his hands together. The bartender next turns to the duck. “Okay, you next. What will you have?” “What beers do you have on tap?” the duck says.
I relate this story simply to point out that few bartenders are anti-Semitic.
I don’t understand anything. Anything. I think the thinking thing is giving me brain damage. Don’t bother answering me. I won’t understand. Hell, I’ll be in my bunk.
Larkspur, I’ll be in your bunk too. It’s a crazy night.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma Only if we can prove that the Cherokee are the lost tribe
Split Utah in half!
Ooooh, the religious wars we could have then!!
Maybe build a stadium around the whole state?
To make it really interesting tho, Israel’s capital should be Salt Lake City.
I think we’d prolly want a “No Nukes” rule…
Sure, but what if the UN forced Germany to give over, say, Bavaria? In fact, one vaguely remembers someone saying this, and one thinks he was a standup comic, like possibly George Carlin, saying basically why should the Palestinians have to essentially pay the price for establishing a Jewish homeland when it was the Germans (and yes, most of the rest of Europe wasn’t exactly trying to stop them, I’m looking at you, Poland) who were responsible? Seems fair enough. Then any land left unoccupied, as it were, can be resettled by Gastarbeiter.
Apparently, some wingnuts are now trying to take the logical next step. While most presidential candidates pay lip service to the two-state solution, Mike Huckabee expressed his belief that it wasn’t fair to poor, crowded little Israel to have to have less than the West Bank. He remains absolutely committed to a Palestinian state, however, and suggests that Egypt or Jordan should give up land to create one.
The concept of people living on their own land just doesn’t seem to clinch with these guys.
Fun, completely O/T fact: I just learned that if you just type “mickey k” into the Google toolbar, “mickey kaus blows goats” is the second suggestion.
I just don’t get the gleeful cheerleading for savagery of the wingnut right. Its like they look at the parade of horror that is the history of warfare and say “Cool! Can I have some more?” Will these fuckers think enough people have died when the sky is black with vultures and ash and the streets teem with rats and jackals? Or did I just describe wingnut fantasy camp?
Depends where the savagery’s going on. I’m pretty damn sure the average wingnut isn’t willing to be anywhere near that kind of scenery himself, much as he’d like to view it on TV.
But yes, the right wing’s bloodthirst is unbelievable, and the more it costs the country (Iraq), the madder and bloodthirstier they get. I wish there was some kind of end in sight. (I once hoped Iraq would be it, but the teabaggers have pretty much dashed that hope).
if you just type “mickey k” into the Google toolbar
Looking for a gift for the goat in your life were you?
OH FUCK YOU ANDROID.
I am not an android.
No, actually, I was trying to find some Mickey Rooney porn, but I have a degenerative bone disorder that always makes me type “k” in place of “r”. It’s almost as bad as the one that makes me unable to pronounce the “t” in plane’arium.
Knocking boots with Mickey Kaus.
Re Thomas, Cf. Philip Roth’s great, hilarious Operation Shylock, in which a pretender calling himself “Philip Roth” goes around Israel advocating what he calls “Diasporism,” which holds that the Jews reached their peak as part of European society up until 1939, and that they should return there–to Germany, Austria, Poland, etc.–and give up this whole meshuggeh Israel thing, which has only brought tsurris and heartache.
Crazy? Maybe. And yet…
Last I checked breaking into this territory is a crime. Which is why the people who break into this country are called ILLEGAL ALIENS! Turtle Island did not create a new law. It is simply enforcing the law that is on the books in all ninety tribes and the Grand Council of Chiefs.
The way to get rid of illegal aliens is really quite simple. Simply crack down on the pirates who are bringing them. When these pirates realize that they will face severe penalties for importing illegal aliens after an example is made of just a few of them, then they will be checking the final destination of all who apply to sail with them and they will not be selling berths to illegal aliens.
Once the illegal aliens realize they can no longer get free land in Turtle Island without facing the wrath of our spears & arrows, then most of them will self deport voluntarily. The few hundred that remain, will then be easily identified by local warriors during routine visits, land-abuse busts, etc.… and will be forcibly deported.
These people will be very easy to find as they usually live together in the same communities, look the same and speak the same language.
WOO WOO WOO WOO
Go Detroit!!!
First comment is a troll boo-hooing about those icky Hispanics coming to America … sigh … I already have a warehouse full of borked irony-meters, so what am I supposed to do with THIS one now?
If you’ve got a good ear you can actually hear the molars grind when wingnuts have to defend yet another atrocity or diplomatic SNAFU from Israel – it’s not exactly a secret how they really feel about the Je-EEEEEWWWWWWs.
I suspect they oppose a two-state solution precisely because they hate them so much that they want them to suffer an endless orgy of retail terrorism, perpetually paranoid of the Arab states that surround them, rather than be civilized neighbors that aren’t feared & despised by the rest of the Middle East or seen as a deranged pariah-state by most of the world.
I suspect they oppose a two-state solution precisely because they hate them so much that they want them to suffer an endless orgy of retail terrorism, perpetually paranoid of the Arab states that surround them, rather than be civilized neighbors that aren’t feared & despised by the rest of the Middle East or seen as a deranged pariah-state by most of the world.
You think that’s it?
I don’t credit them with that much deviousness. I always just figured that it took approximately 2,000 years to smash it into their heads that Jews aren’t orcs and goblins, but that they just couldn’t live without a new punching bag. What better one than the one the Jews had just started punching…?
I think owlbert is on to something. The Jews should move to Salt Lake City and all the Mormans should move to Jerusalem. Second phase: The Pope sets up shop in Mecca and all the Muslims take a nice Italian vacation once a year.
I beg to
LOLdiffer.Google “Operation Truth” &/or “CREEP” &/or “Karl Rove” & see if their deviousness-credit-rating stays low for you.
Or consider this: Ronald “I Too Am A Waffen-SS Officer” Reagan openly stated around 1980 that the real long-term payoff for Republicans behind producing massive deficits & tax-cuts was their utility in cutting the fiscal air-hose for any & all new progressive federal initiatives, because he knew damn well they’d refute his “government is the problem” horseshit. This “unfortunate side-effect” of Reaganomics was its actual main objective – which was a total success, by the way … & everyone assumed that Reagan was a total space-cadet after circa 1960. Pretty fucking devious for a total space-cadet if you ask me.
The Reaganomics “disaster” has remained at the core of GOP economic policy to this day.
I completely believe that the political strategists at the top are devious enough to orchestrate the Reaganomics clusterfuck.
What I have trouble believing is that the masses of regular wingnuts powered by racial resentment would have that kind of deviousness. Seems more likely to me that, like I said, they simply switched prejudices.
I say give the Israelis Oklahoma. It’s a desert, they could probably do a whole lot with it.
Uhhhh…where do we send the Indians, then?
Well, the Cherokee were originally from Georgia, so we can send the Georgians to Georgia. I can just see some former Macon Moran in this future scenario, tongue tripping over “Welcome to Tuh-buh-lee-see, y’all.”
Given that the right to be appalled is apparently linked to religious tribe, as someone who is not Jewish, I couldn’t give a dingo’s dick.
You know, Smut, a yarmulke would be just the thing to cover that cute little bald spot.
I assume we’re discounting evangelical wingnuts who still believe Jews are God-murdering usurers, but grit their teeth and come down on the Israeli side because Jews all need to be in one holding pen for Jesus to draw a bead on them for the Rapture?
Bing bing bing bing, TKfKM is the winner! They need some J00z in the Mideast according to the script of their eschatological fantasy.
What’s all this about scatological fantasy?
What’s all this about scatological fantasy?
Rule 34!
Asking people to go back to their country of origin, not forcing them = religious cleansing?
Um, what?
Asking people to go back to their country of origin
It’s for census purposes, Roman-style.
It’s for census purposes, Roman-style.
I, myself, count each buttock, then divide the total by two- sure, there are some who may be missing one or both buttocks, but the numbers tend to work out in the end.
I, myself, count each buttock, then divide the total by two- sure, there are some who may be missing one or both buttocks, but the numbers tend to work out in the end.
Luckily, the tri- and quad-buttocked are present in roughly the same numbers as the uni-buttocked and the buttockless.
Just heard the most INFURIATING piece on NPR. Dude was talking to some people in Florida at a gas station and asking them if they felt any responsibility for the oil “spill.” People pretty much acted like he was fucking nuts, even though, as he noted, most of them were driving gas guzzlers.
WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE??? I mean, what the FUCK has to happen for people to start questioning their consumption habits? When the hell is the American consumer going to start taking responsibility for the environmental evils we’ve created?
I’m not pretending that I’m some awesome environmentalist (though I do think I do much better than the average Midwesterner). But the absolute disconnect? It’s ridiculous.
uni-buttocked
This can be cured through a little careful shaving and/or waxing.
This can be cured through a little careful shaving and/or waxing.
LOLewwww.
Um, maybe that’s because they know that the gas we get at the gas stations grows right there at the pumps and we have nothing to do with that weird oil and stuff that comes from other places?
Um, maybe that’s because they know that the gas we get at the gas stations grows right there at the pumps and we have nothing to do with that weird oil and stuff that comes from other places?
And TaterTots are picked fresh off the TaterTot Trees in TaterTot Valley!
I am still trying to find the grocery store which grows the best rib-eyes.
But the absolute disconnect? It’s ridiculous.
Little-known fact: it is our right as Americans to drive ourselves to death with huge cars. True fact! It’s in the constitution, look it up! Anything that threatens this is automatically deflected by the fact-shields.
Of course I say this as a person about to go burn 5 gallons of gas at top speed for the simple joy of it. Imma ride myself to death on fast motorcycles… I make up as best I can by commuting on the thing five days a week.
rib-eyes
I’ve heard of cranial/rectal inversion, but this is a new one on me.
Little-known fact: it is our right as Americans to drive ourselves to death with huge cars. True fact! It’s in the constitution, look it up! Anything that threatens this is automatically deflected by the fact-shields.
Silly me. Expecting anything else is unAmerican, of course.
And TaterTots are picked fresh off the TaterTot Trees in TaterTot Valley!
Right next to Cheeto Glen!
saying basically why should the Palestinians have to essentially pay the price for establishing a Jewish homeland when it was the Germans (and yes, most of the rest of Europe wasn’t exactly trying to stop them, I’m looking at you, Poland) who were responsible?
Because the same people who are now upset that Jews are “stealing” land from those poor Palestinians would then be upset at Jews “stealing” land from Germans and Poles and be wondering “why wasn’t the Jewish state created in Palestine, the historic Jewish homeland where Jews have continuously lived for thousands of years?”. Next question …
I rarely agree with righty-tighty claims of media bias and I almost always agree with left-wing claims of bias, but in the case of Israel (not other aspects of the Middle East where the media has a tendacy to provide only the point of view of Halliburton and friends), if the media really had a pro-Israeli tilt, they would point out the real history of what has happened in the Middle East:
(1) there has been a continuous Jewish presence in the land of Israel for millenia
(2) Like it or not, international law and organizations established a “two state solution” to provide national homelands for Palestinians and for Jews
(3) the formation of the Palestinian state was prevented by Arab intrastringence
(4) pretty much every Israeli action resulting in Palestinian casualities/injuries/etc. has been in rather direct response to attacks on Israel — Israel has been, since its inception, under constant siege from its neighbors and now from the Palestinian territories.
I very much respect much of Helen Thomas’ work, but if she thinks Jews should just go somewhere else because we have no right to live in our ancestral homeland, she’s way off-base …
Over at Big Journalism there’s a news round-up below the logo. Helen’s got the top six.
01 Helen Thomas ‘Regrets’ Telling Israeli Jews To Go Back to Deutschland
02 WaPo: Hearst Not Exactly Standing By Helen Thomas
03 Poll: Should Helen Thomas Be Fired?
04 Newsbusters: Ari Fleischer: Fire Helen Thomas
05 Big Government: Michele Bachmann: Fire Helen Thomas
06 Jennifer Rubin: Why Shouldn’t Helen Thomas Be Expelled From the WH Press Corps?
Uhhhh…where do we send the Indians, then?
Detroit?
It’s only a short ride from Cleveland. They could probably get there by Steamer.
Just to understand: A people enter and conquer a territory and then claim that their Gawd has given them the right of ownership to that land forever. They, in turn , are conquered by a stronger people and scattered throughout the known world. 1500 years later, they return to find another group living in “their” country.
Thus they have the right to treat the current inhabitants much like, say, the jews were treated in Nazi Germany.
Sounds like BS to me.
The jews wrote the book that claims they have some kind of divine claim to the land of Israel. What a con job. Besides, if Gawd liked them so much, you would think he’d give them a nicer place to crash.
I don’t get why those Jews and Muslims wants to live in the shit-hold desert of Palestine. Most of the Jews I know want to live in Miami. The weather’s much nicer and the beaches have much cuter chicks.
Thus they have the right to treat the current inhabitants much like, say, the jews were treated in Nazi Germany.
Not to say that everything Israel has done to the Palestinians is right or ok or just, but you make a very false equivalence here. The way the Jews were treated by Nazi Germany = killing 6 million Jews! not displacing them into a land which was supposed to be a homeland for them yet resulted in their own ethnic kin herding them into refugee camps.
Anyway, pretty much everything Israel has done since, while maybe immoral and short-sighted, was done in order to defend Israel from nearly constant attack. When you find evidence (other than Nazi propaganda) that the Jews were attacking Germany (sending rockets, suicide bombers, etc.) and start explaining how Israel seeks to completely ethnically cleanse all of the Palestinian territories of Palestinians (like Germany sought to ethnically cleanse Germany or, for that matter, Hamas seeks to drown all the Jews in Israel by driving them into the sea), then you can make these sorts of statements … until then, um … not so much …
“Even America, the most hypocritical nation on earth”
There you go with your American exceptionalism again…