It’s Oliver Now
Be still my beating colon:
Brad Thor, Big Government:
BREAKING: Oliver North Confirms Mullah Omar CaptureLate this afternoon Lt. Colonel Oliver North confirmed that Taliban leader and Osama bin Laden ally, Mullah Mohammed Omar has been captured. The exclusive news of Omar’s capture was broken by Big Government Monday evening.
According to Colonel North, Omar was picked up in Karachi on March 27th by the Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence Directorate (ISI) who placed him under house arrest in what they call “community care.”
Per North’s sources, “[Omar] has since been transferred to a secret ISI lock-up under the Pakistani euphemism: “institutional care.”
North goes on to state, “According to several reports, all of this information was confirmed to U.S. officials by a senior Pakistani military officer ‘several weeks ago.’” A fact also broken in Monday’s Big Government exclusive.
Last weekend, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton created a “diplomatic firestorm” when she…
We didn’t know you could be like, “Breaking — somebody published a column here earlier today.” But hey, we also didn’t know that a perjurer reciting the phrase, “according to several reports,” could be relied upon to send a genuine fact fluttering down to land on your finger or other perpendicular appendage.
For that matter, we never thought of a fact as a thing that might be broken in an exclusive, but rather as something like a Lego piece with which you can build a story — if a story were something made of…um, ah, right, I guess I walked straight into that one.
So, let’s see what North actually said.
Last month, while I was still in Afghanistan, the ISI had detained Mullah Omar in Karachi on March 27, and placed him under house arrest in what they call “community care.”
Oh, because here’s something cool: If you blink in time with that phrase, like blink — blink — blink — , and then switch to the downbeat, like [-ink] blink [-ink] blink, [-ink] blink, it’s like you’re reading Brad Thor’s breaking, sticky exclusive again, and there’s nothing visible that gives the original source of the story as “rumors were circulating.”
Back to that:
In light of this confirmation of Mullah Omar’s apprehension, a whole new set of questions now arise and have already started being asked around Washington. In particular, who knew what and when did they know it?
Brad Thor knew he was cooked right around Tuesday evening? Oliver North ‘knew’ Frank Ross in the drawing room with a candlestick? We knew better before we even got here? Yes, questions. A whole new set of questions now arises about these questions. But ah! In particular, who will ask what, and when will they ask it?
The Omar capture is only the tip of the iceberg. Expect to hear a lot more in the days and weeks to come.
This seems about right. As long as a wingnut keeps talking, technically he isn’t wrong yet.
Title cf. In the next incarnation, I want to come back as several dozen punk rockers so I can use up all these punk rock names.
The wingnuts over there seem a bit conflicted. They are excited about using Mullah Omar’s head as a soccer ball and are getting boners over the thought of waterboarding him, but are also concerned that Obama may get some credit for capturing Ol’ One-Eyed Willy. But mostly they’re triumphant about their “victory” over the MSM.
They should probably have a contingency plan for when this inevitably blows up in their faces and M.O. doesn’t turn up, but thinking is hard.
I do hope North is getting bombarded by increasingly frantic emails from the Cretizen Jurnulists. That would make my day.
Yes, under the Obama administration The Troops(TM) actually captured every single bad guy in Afghanistan and Iraq and won the war. Oo, that took the perk right out of their panties, didn’t it?
I refuse on principle to click any of these links, but I am curious. Does he have a theory for why Obama’s people would keep this capture a secret, instead of perp-walking Omar through three countries?
Does he have a theory for why
Saving the surprise for late October, when it can be converted into political capital.
/wingnut
Ol’ One-Eyed Willy*
NSVPR
No relation. Also, too. I have two, augmented to four.
Ol’ One-Eyed Willy
I have two, augmented to four.
When piercings go wrong.
OK…*sigh*…being married to a person with an impressive security clearance at the Pentagon, I can tell you–confidently–this: If the administration hasn’t spilled this, it’s for a great reason. A reason having to do with, ya know, national security, stragery in the war on turror and such…
So I’ll ask with honest bewilderment: Why does Ollie North hate America?
No relation. Also, too. I have two, augmented to four.
Going for the Medusa look? That’s assuming for Medusa that the carpet matched the drapes.
Also, I can hz Oliver’s Army post title?
If Ollie North says “the sky is blue!”, I go outside and look up. That old rat bastard can’t exit the planets’ surface quick enough. He sullies the reputation of every veteran, just by his very existence. Now I need to vomit, not just “want to”. Dammit!
Can’t time my damn blinks right
Can’t time my damn blinks right
Blink 182 to deal with this enema of the state.
“stragery”
Or even stratergery. It’s depressing when you’re misspelling your own purposely misspelled worlds.
“stratergery”
omg, I did it again. I’m not a moron, I just haven’t had my coffee yet.
S-T-R-A-T-E-G-E-R-Y
Okay, let’s just assume for one breath-takingly delusional moment that North actually did confirm that Mulaah Omar was captured. So? Does North have some sort of special authority on this as an ex-military criminal? I mean, personally, if North confirms something, I’m less likely to believe it.
Crazy libs don’t even understand the difference between strategery and tactimuhtics.
The fact is, Ghost Melon™.
~
I still really don’t understand this. Brad “I’m so” Thor couldn’t get enough attention yesterday so now he’s going to bring in Ollie “stark naked and raving with a loaded .45” North to juice the story?
I suppose there’s some sort of scandal I’m supposed to see but all I see are stupid people.
Crazy libs don’t even understand the difference between strategery and tactimuhtics.
Strategery is a Milton Bradley board games where you try to capture your opponents flag. Tactimuhtics is algerbar and stuff
I’m not sure I understand why conservatives are complaining about a “cover up” of this. Wouldn’t this be a good thing for Obama? Wouldn’t he want this to be known if it was, in fact, true? What does he gain by covering this up (besides some possible strategic advantage, in which case STFU you conservative traitors who are sending intelligence to the enemy!).
Lemme guess, Michael Ledeen up next to confirm the story?
When piercings go wrong.
Prince Albert was twins?
Why does Ollie North hate America so much?
He hates our freedoms. Actually, I think that might be true in this case.
Next, Brad’s going to have it confirmed by Peter North.
“And now in an exclusive interview with Baghdad Bob…”
“[Omar] has since been transferred to a secret ISI lock-up under the Pakistani euphemism: “institutional care.”
Wait, they captured Mullah Omar and put him in an old folks’ home?
Tactimuhtics is algerbar and stuff
I thought he wrote teh anals.
Next, Brad’s going to have it confirmed by Peter North.
Run that one up the flagpole and salute.
Accordibg to Pratchett, Tacticus wrote very practical advice for the aspiring commander, such as the following section on what to do if one army occupies a well-fortified and superior fortress and the other does not:
“Endeavor to be the one inside.”
Wouldn’t this be a good thing for Obama? Wouldn’t he want this to be known if it was, in fact, true? What does he gain by covering this up
Well, obviously, Obama would want to keep it secret because KENYAN USURPOR NINE ELEVEN SOSHIALIST NAZI BLACKMAN ISLAMODEVIL TERRIST
All due respect to Brad Thor, who’s actually a pretty good guy, but he should stick to thriller writing.
Have said it before, will say it again; our first action in the war on terror should have been to arrest Oliver North and ship him to Nicaragua with our full apologies for the ten-year delay. Cleaning up terrorism begins at home.
“According to several reports, all of this information was confirmed to U.S. officials by a senior Pakistani military officer ‘several weeks ago.’”
First, apart from your spot-on analysis, Gavin, Pakistani military officers have nevvvvvvvvver lied to Americans (*koffkoff*ISI funding 9-11*koffkoff*)
Second, do these assholes have any idea what “journalism” entails? A “I heard a rumour” confirmation is like me posting that, ummmm, vaccumslayer and T&U are engaged in a torrid lesbian affair (which by the way, I am hoping for with all my fingers and toes crossed), and then, say, Whale Chowder posting “You know, I heard that” as confirmation.
Saving the surprise for late October, when it can be converted into political capital.
Damn. That’s actually a pretty good excuse.
Next, Brad’s going to have it confirmed by Peter North.
In a gusher of information.
In a gusher of information
It’ll be the money quote.
I guess if this story is a bust, someone gets Butt Thor.
I’ll go now.
Yeah why does the press still suck this moron’s cock? He is a disgrace to our nation, and does not deserve to have his titles splayed before his name as if he’s anyone of importance anymore. He is FAMOUS for LYING to CONGRESS.
Smut Clyde said,
May 14, 2010 at 13:15
I tee ’em up. It’s up to others to drive ’em straight and long.
No, wait…
So I’ll ask with honest bewilderment: Why does Ollie North hate America?
Because he’s a FUCKING TRAITOR WHO SHOULD BE IN PRISON?
Yeah why does the press still suck this moron’s cock?
Slippy, Brad Thor or even Fox News is a stretch to call “the press”.
It’ll be the money quote.
And we’ll all be forced to facial facts.
An illustration of the ouroboros that is the right wing noise machine: Those several reports he refers to are surely the Jawa/BigGo fabrications.
Those several reports he refers to are surely the Jawa/BigGo fabrications
Are you suggesting there’s an echo chamber chamber?
vaccumslayer and T&U are engaged in a torrid lesbian affair
Scurrilous. Scurrilous! What kind of woman do you take me for?
Yeah why does the press still suck this moron’s cock? He is a disgrace to our nation, and does not deserve to have his titles splayed before his name as if he’s anyone of importance anymore. He is FAMOUS for LYING to CONGRESS.
Pointing that out would be BIAS!
An illustration of the ouroboros that is the right wing noise machine:
It’s not an ouroboros, it’s a human centipede.
And we’ll all be forced to facial facts.
I find that hard to swallow.
Which reminds me of an email a former co-worker forwarded from her dad, as if he had good points and it was making her think about renouncing her liberal, vegan ways.
Are you suggesting there’s an echo chamber chamber?
No, more like that icky German film* where the dude sews people together mouth-to-anus, but completing a circle.
*(Oddly, I didn’t bookmark that.)
What kind of woman do you take me for?
Whatever I can get.
I find that hard to swallow.¹
Well, the flow of information comes quickly
¹That’s what she said.
Dammit, every time that I finally forget about Human Centipede, somebody has to come and fucking remind me of it!
Speaking of which, my boss is on a fucking tear today. *cry*
Speaking of which, my boss is on a fucking tear today. *cry*
Now now, just close your eyes and dream of vacuumslayer…
Sorry. Just reading a description of that movie scarred me for life, and misery loves company.
On the other hand, I can’t think of a better metaphor for the right wing blogosphere.
“[Omar] has since been transferred to a secret ISI lock-up under the Pakistani euphemism: “institutional care.”
Well we all know what “institutional care” means: socialized medicine, death panels, gay abortions.
He doesn’t stand a chance.
Useless factoid: My bowling league pseudonym was Omar.
Now now, just close your eyes and dream of vacuumslayer…
Why? Is she going to get me a new job?
Sorry. Just reading a description of that movie scarred me for life, and misery loves company.
That’s okay. I came traipsing in here, sharing that information a couple of weeks ago. I deserve what I get.
Ollie doesn’t have to be right, tell the truth or even make sense. He just has to comment, his name around Wingnutia and the fantasies start. This is primal, beyond reason and argument, even language. The marine uniform. Giving it all for Uncle Ronnie. God knows what else is triggered in their fevered minds.
Why? Is she going to get me a new job?
Possibly. Although don’t ask actor212 what type of job.
Possibly. Although don’t ask actor212 what type of job.
Thanks for the advice.
PS: Sorry about all the things I said about your mom.
And what a source* Peter North is.
*yep
PS: Sorry about all the things I said about your mom.
Don’t be. He’s not.
vaccumslayer and T&U are engaged in a torrid lesbian affair
I heard that too.
BLART BLART BLART STOP THE MUTHERFUCKIN PRESSES!!!! BLAAAAAARRTTT
Elena Kagan’s KOLLEG THESIS proves sheez soshalist.
Hackshually seems we got proof she wrote a 100+ page thesis about the Socialist Party in New York and why it was such a disaster. Not so long ago, pointing out that something, say a fucktard president, was a disaster, was treachery. Today it means you secretly heart them.
BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! MUST CREDIT ACTOR212!
I heard that too.
PeeJ has confirmed as a fact that T&U and vacuumslayer are having an affair.
Hackshually seems we got proof she wrote a 100+ page thesis about the Socialist Party
Yes, but was it confirmed by Peter North?
I won’t believe it until I get solid confirmation from Editor Korir of African Press International!
I don’t get it. Of course, I can’t be bothered to get it, but I still don’t get it.
Is this supposed to be some indictment of Obama? wouldn’t it be a good thing if Omar were actually captured?
Shorter NRO douche who is obviously not racist:
“I hate Mexicans, all of them.”
There’s no stoppin’ the cretins from fappin’.
Is this supposed to be some indictment of Obama?
How does it reflect one way or another on Obama? Wasn’t he “captured” by the ISI?
Shorter NRO douche who is obviously not racist:
“I hate Mexicans, all of them.”
Well, at least they aren’t even pretending anymore.
“I hate Mexicans, all of them.”
Even the ones from Honduras.
How does it reflect one way or another on Obama? Wasn’t he “captured” by the ISI?
Only because of the increased pressure from the US in the form of civilian-killing drones in Waziristan, as well as the annoying whine of Hillary Clinton’s voice.
Gav,
You forgot to mention that North doesn’t even mention the rumours of Omar’s capture until paragraph 8, and then follows that up with this:
So now, at least we have a reason, however flimsy, for Omar’s capture being kept secret.
However, that still doesn’t answer the question why the US wouldn’t have been apprised immediately. It seems a bargaining chip like Omar would be a card (to continue mixing metaphors) I’d lay on the table right away.
It smells fishy to me, especially since US sources, by Thor’s own admission, have been “half-heartedly” denying the capture. If they didn’t know, the denials would not be half-hearted. If they knew, the denials wouldn’t be haf-hearted. Ergo, they’ve clearly investigated, dismissed the rumours and are engaging in wishful thinking.
Shorter NRO douche
Jesus, watta racist shitbag. I used to live in south Texas. Does he have the slightest idea how much that area relies economically on Mexican shoppers? Of course not.
Then again, south Texas is +80% Mexican-American, so he probably couldn’t care less.
Don’t be. He’s not.
It’s funny because
it’s trueYOUR MOM’S THE WHORE!In other anti-podean news,
PENIS.
vaccumslayer and T&U are engaged in a torrid lesbian affair
I heard that too.
Dammit, Peej, why do you care?
So, DKW, what’s your mom doing Down Under?
The Right loves Ollie *because* he’s a perjuring terrorist traitor. Look at the respect they still accord to Colson and Liddy. And Cheney, come to that, after the outing of Valerie Plame. The American Right loves its criminals.
Does he have a theory for why Obama’s people would keep this capture a secret, instead of perp-walking Omar through three countries?
He believes that Obama will appoint him as the “Koran Memorizing Czar”.
I find that hard to swallow.¹
Well, the flow of information comes quickly
¹That’s what she said.
Be still my beating colon (stolen from Gavin M.)
(And, I know, it took me an hour to come up with the idea to steal that, but its only cuz I’m stupid)
Dammit, Peej, why do you care?
I don’t, really. Whatever lifts your luggage, y’know?
Gay writer worried about gay actors outting themselves after playing butch roles…Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…I wonder if he writes for Big Follywood, too.
Dammit, Peej, why do you care?
I don’t, really. Whatever lifts your luggage, y’know?
Sure, but no need to assist others in, um, lifting their own luggage.
It’s not an ouroboros, it’s a human centipede.
Artist’s conception at :21
I’d characterize it more as an Ourobunghole- a snake eternally pooping it’s own anus out.
Oh… THAT “Human Centipede”…
I guess I’ll have to turn in my “Aware of All Internet Traditions” card on the way out.
Oh… THAT “Human Centipede”…
Heh. When I finally gathered up the bravery to click on the link you posted, I was wondering what you were talking about…
Heh. When I finally gathered up the bravery to click on the link you posted, I was wondering what you were talking about…
It was a simpler time, a happier time… I had a big blond afro then.
BREAKING NEWS:
Right-wing bloggers butthurt over lack of uncritical attention from mainstream media.
Developing….
Sure, but no need to assist others in, um, lifting their own luggage.
So you admit you don’t want to help a man with his sack?
It was a simpler time, a happier time… I had a big blond afro then.
I guess that could also explain this chunk of white hair that has suddenly sprung up on my head, a la Rogue.
I had a big blond afro then.
The only white man who should ever have been allowed a Frobee was Bob Ross.
Ooooh, popcorn time. Thor being attacked by NewsRealBlog. It’s like the under-undercard for Levin vs. Manzi Slapfight at the NRO Corral!
The only white man who should ever have been allowed a Frobee was Bob Ross.
What about Dylan? Huh?
Tactimuhtics is algerbar and stuff
I thought he wrote teh anals.
Wingnuts made a desert and called it
AfghanistanIraqArizonaAmericaMURICA!Sure, but no need to assist others in, um, lifting their own luggage.
So you admit you don’t want to help a man with his sack?
Depends on how big it is.
I guess that could also explain this chunk of white hair that has suddenly sprung up on my head, a la Rogue.
If you touch Actor will you suddenly have the power of attracting D-KW’s mom?
Ooooh, popcorn time. Thor being attacked by NewsRealBlog.
Lovely!
The comments are pretty hilare, too.
If you touch Actor will you suddenly have the power of attracting D-KW’s mom?
I already have that. It’s called three dollars.
I guess that could also explain this chunk of white hair that has suddenly sprung up on my head, a la Rogue.
Was it accompanied by superpowers?
I already have that. It’s called three dollars.
Damn, times are hard. Rogue (comic book Rogue, not movie Rogue) could make more than that working at Hooters.
What about Dylan? Huh?
Um. No.
Depends on how big it is.
It ain’t carry on. I never travel light.
I already have that. It’s called three dollars.
Hey, what happened to PS: Sorry about all the things I said about your mom.?
Why are you so fickle T&U? Your mom sure ain’t.
Why are you so fickle T&U? Your mom sure ain’t.
Remember, you are talking to TruculentandUnreliable
I guess that could also explain this chunk of white hair that has suddenly sprung up on my head, a la Rogue.
Was it accompanied by superpowers?
If you call nearly throwing up in my wastebasket at work a superpower, then yes, yes it did.
Damn, times are hard. Rogue (comic book Rogue, not movie Rogue) could make more than that working at Hooters.
What can I say? DKW’s mom is a generous lady with a heart of gold.
Unreliable
I thought that meant she always tells the truth when repeating a story.
Hey, what happened to PS: Sorry about all the things I said about your mom.?
Why are you so fickle T&U? Your mom sure ain’t.
I have no self-control! The allure of typing something slightly humorous is way, way too strong! It’s N__B’s fault for enabling me!
If you call nearly throwing up in my wastebasket at work
You know the old advice about picturing the audience naked when giving a speech (or screwing D-KW’s mom)? Picture your boss’s entrails scattered across the room. Used to work for me.
It’s N__B’s fault for enabling me!
I shouldn’t have used the Energizer batteries, but the bunny was so cute.
I hang my head in shame.*
Double VPR.
If you touch Actor will you suddenly have the power of attracting D-KW’s mom?
I already have that. It’s called three dollars.
Hey! My wallet!
Picture your boss’s entrails scattered across the room. Used to work for me.
I like her fine; I just hate my job. And the expectation that I’m somehow supposed to fit all these meetings and requests to talk to people and time for her to work between 8 and 6 every day (and 8 and 12 on Fridays). It’s probably more therapeutic to imagine myself on a beach or some lame shit like that.
If you touch Actor will you suddenly have the power of attracting D-KW’s mom?
I already have that. It’s called three dollars.
Hey! My wallet!
Oh, please. I, as the wise members of Destiny’s Child would say, depend on me. In fact, have twenty pennies and a Belizean nickel (how the fuck does that damn thing keep showing up?) right here!
For twenty years I worked on the beach. To get through my day I had to imagine myself in some office somewhere…
I have no self-control!
Thus the “truculent” bit…
In fact, have twenty pennies and a Belizean nickel (how the fuck does that damn thing keep showing up?) right here!
And my change purse!
To get through my day I had to imagine myself in some office somewhere…
Yea, I can imagine looking at bikinis all day would be tiresome…
Heheh! Actor carries a purse! Or at least he used to til Truc took it.
In fact, have twenty pennies and a Belizean nickel (how the fuck does that damn thing keep showing up?) right here!
And my change purse!
Sorry. I saw that pink unicorn on it and thought it was mine.
Yea, I can imagine looking at bikinis all day would be tiresome…
Shhhhh! I was trying to make T&U feel better about her job. Of course there’s nothing better than getting paid to hang out at the beach.
Yea, I can imagine looking at bikinis all day would be tiresome…
Shhhhh! I was trying to make T&U feel better about her job. Of course there’s nothing better than getting paid to hang out at the beach.
I can’t even see the sunlight unless my boss opens the door and I peer into her office from my desk.
Heheh! Actor carries a purse!
Stop judging me! Bartenders appreciate that I can play the jukebox without them opening the register.
Bartenders appreciate that I can play the jukebox without them opening the register.
Where is this bar you hang out at? 1997?
Where is this bar you hang out at? 1997?
And what did the 16-year-old T&U know about bars? HMMMMM?
I can’t even see the sunlight unless my boss opens the door and I peer into her office from my desk.
Well, if it will help, you can imagine me on a beach. I won’t mind.
Oh brother… The Daily Doughbob:
Oh Mickey your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind hey Mickey, hey Mickey
If you must go for mangoes, be sure to grab this one: “Kaus is a fearless asker of hard and unwanted questions. He may have the single most finely attuned B.S. detector of anyone in the journalism business — or any other business.”
Unwanted questions, eh… I think that’s central to my
goatpoint.Where is this bar you hang out at? 1997?
Hmph! If you must know, DKW’s mom works there.
Oh Mickey your so fine, your so fine you blow my
mindgoats hey Mickey, hey MickeyFixeded before some else does it.
Where is this bar you hang out at? 1997?
And what did the 16-year-old T&U know about bars? HMMMMM?
Unfortunately, nothing. I was terribly boring. I was just estimating that was the last time that it would be necessary to have actual metal change for the jukebox.
Kaus is a fearless asker of hard and unwanted questions
So ladies, all those illegitimate questions you’ve been carrying around for weeks now, wondering if you should abort them or put them up for adoption?
Send them to Kaus. His army of goats will ask them for you.
Well, if it will help, you can imagine me on a beach. I won’t mind.
Can I imagine Battlecat, too?!
Y’know, if I’m Mickey Kaus, I’m writing a polite little note to Fudgie, asking him to take his Dick Cheney-like popularity and stuffing it where the sun don’t shine because I might actually want to win an election.
Breaking : Racist Obama compares Republicans to Asian drivers.
Picture your boss’s entrails scattered across the room. Used to work for me.
Was it when you were working at Gibbs and Gibbs?
hard and unwanted
Given the creepy-ass title of that post, I think I’d prefer soft and wanted, myself.
BREAKING!
Sarah Palin no longer pitbull with lipstick! Decides to denigrate another mammal.
Here is how I imagine things at work.
Funniest line ever:
Palin on Friday told an anti-abortion rights group that women will lead a Republican wave and stop the Democratic agenda.
”
vaccumslayer and T&U are engaged in a torrid lesbian affair”
Why am I always the last to know?
Here is how I imagine things at work.
<3 !!! I forgot about that! Thank you–that actually helps!
Why am I always the last to know?
Roofies
Courtesy DKW’s link:
You check YOUR sources. Nyah. See, Big Government says it’s TRUE.
Why am I always the last to know?
Roofies
Way to insult both my morality AND my ability to pick up chicks.
Way to insult both my morality AND my ability to pick up chicks.
Now, did I even imply that YOU gave them to her?
Way to insult both my morality AND my ability to pick up chicks.
Now, did I even imply that YOU gave them to her?
No, but at the very least, you implied that I took advantage of the situation. Harumph.
No, but at the very least, you implied that I took advantage of the situation. Harumph.
Maybe you did.
And maybe someone just posed you to look like you did. The photographs are blurry at best.
I mean, I’m sure the photographs are blurry. Also. Too. I mean.
You check YOUR sources. Nyah. See, Big Government says it’s TRUE.
Suddenly I feel icky. I’m on the same side of a story as David Horowitz.
Suddenly I feel icky. I’m on the same side of a story as David Horowitz.
It’s like the paradox of the cat with the buttered toast on its back. If two people are both always wrong, but one says “Yes” and the second says “No”…
Didn’t a robot blow up on Star Trek because of this sort of thing?
Totally off topic, but I checked out vacuumslayer’s site and … wow. Great stuff.
So … how much to commission a piece of you and T&U in that aforementioned lesbian tryst?
😉
And maybe someone just posed you to look like you did. The photographs are blurry at best.
Hey, how did you get those?
Way to insult both my morality AND my ability to pick up chicks.
Well, maybe the morality bit, but I’m afraid you outed yourself on the ability to pick up chicks part.
Hey, how did you get those?
Must have slipped out of
myyour change purse.Didn’t a robot blow up on Star Trek because of this sort of thing?
Fortunately, I’m illogical to begin with, so that’s not a problem.
Well, maybe the morality bit, but I’m afraid you outed yourself on the ability to pick up chicks part.
Hey, I was just talking about the lesbians.
It’s Oliver Now
See, Gavin? The trouble with your clever headlines is I find myself fitting them to Rolling Stones songs:
Because I uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuused to Mullah, but it’s Oliver now.
Because I uuuuuuuuuuuuuuused to Mullah, but it’s all Omar now….
Suddenly I feel icky. I’m on the same side of a story as David Horowitz.
Does not compute. Let’s just throw a childish cliche at it–blind squirrels, broken clocks, et al…
We can take comfort in the fact that Horowitz is in it for the attention, rather than promoting some form of journalistic integrity.
Gobs and gobs of greasy, grimy Omar guts…
Let’s just throw a childish cliche at it
We’re rubber, he’s a sticky mess of splooge.
Last month, while I was still in
AfghanistanMissouri, rumors were circulating thatthe ISIT&U and Vacuumslayer haddetained Mullah Omarbegun a torrid, hot, wet, sloppy affair inKarachiKansas City on March 27, and placedhimeach other underhouse arrestDKW’s mom in what they call“community care.”“a hot three-way.”Confirmed!
We’re rubber, he’s a sticky mess of splooge.
Yeah, stupid…guy. He is a hot mess, no doubt about that. But hey, who provides more credibility than Oliver North? He gots a teevee show!
Last month, while I was still in Afghanistan Missouri, rumors were circulating that the ISI T&U and Vacuumslayer had detained Mullah Omar begun a torrid, hot, wet, sloppy affair in Karachi Kansas City on March 27, and placed him each other under house arrest DKW’s mom in what they call “community care.” “a hot three-way.”
Confirmed!
Scandalous!!!!
I patiently await my newsletter.
Most lesbians won’t have sex with *me* …
I am impressed by your efforts – you must have propositioned a few million, at least.
Go on….
Oh my — along with being a loose-lips traitorpants for telling, North ‘buries the lead’ just like Frank Ross is so angry about.
I am impressed by your efforts – you must have propositioned a few million, at least.
What can I say? I’m persistent.
Things improve at work, N?
Things improve at work, N?
Huh?
Oh my — along with being a loose-lips traitorpants for telling, North ‘buries the lead’ just like Frank Ross is so angry about.
IOKIYMCWWBIPITWJITW.*
*It’s okay if you’re a motherfucking criminal who would be in prison if there were justice in this world.
I would rather be anywhere else than here, today.
Hey, I was just talking about the lesbians.
So..um.. you’re saying you have no trouble picking up straight chicks but you can’t pick up lesbian chicks? Curious.
By the way, is your real name Alice?
Harrumph. Win.
I would rather be anywhere else than here, today.
Nice!
*kicks self*
I would rather be anywhere else than here, today.
I don’t get the reference. But as far as I can determine, you are not Jesus Jones.
So..um.. you’re saying you have no trouble picking up straight chicks but you can’t pick up lesbian chicks? Curious.
Oh, you absolutist binary-enforcers are so cute!
It’s Oliver Now
…
Also, I can hz Oliver’s Army post title?
Also too and likewise: Oliver Man in Uniform.
Too late, I guess. SIGH.
As yet unnamed sources have yet to deny that I’m hung like a horse.
Oh, you absolutist binary-enforcers are so cute!
You’re a hexadecimal chick, eh?
Dammit, every time that I finally forget about Human Centipede, somebody has to come and fucking remind me of it!
FEED HER!
FEED HER!
Audrey 2, is that you?
Oh, you absolutist binary-enforcers are so cute!
You’re a hexadecimal chick, eh?
Yup. All those ones and zeroes? BORING.
Dammit, every time that I finally forget about Human Centipede, somebody has to come and fucking remind me of it!
FEED HER!
I hate you.
Why does Ollie North hate America?
Oh, I get it. One of those Chomsky-esque sentences that seems to say something, but really doesn’t. Only instead of being nonsensical, it is so sensical as to be meaningless. Why is an orange orange, my friend? We may never know.
According to several reports, all of this information was confirmed to U.S. officials by a senior Pakistani military officer “several weeks ago.”
Hee hee “the people who told us this rumor also swore that US officials KNEW!” Almost as good as the “hey, the guys spreading this rumor told Ollie, too! CONFIRMED!”
Hee hee “the people who told us this rumor also swore that US officials KNEW!” Almost as good as the “hey, the guys spreading this rumor told Ollie, too! CONFIRMED!”
And then Cindi told Billy that Omar was like totally captured.
As yet unnamed sources have yet to deny that I’m hung like a horse.
OMG I totally remember reading that somewhere!
Things improve at work, N?
Huh?
Obviously a synaptic error, wrong person. Sorry. Carry on. My bad. Never mind.
And then Cindi told Billy that Omar was like totally captured.
And then I was like, what-ever, and then she was like what-ever, I totally couldn’t even like believe it. I heard Omar stabbed Mr. Hand with a knife!
Sorry. Carry on. My bad. Never mind.
You’re getting near the list, buddy.
OMG I totally remember reading that somewhere!
His belly tattoo?
You’re getting near the list, buddy.
Don’t you put me on that list. I’m ok with it until you hit Guiliani. Torquemada, fine. Barney, fine. Rudy ‘tudy, no fuckin way!
What is this list anyway? One of these things is not like the others?
His belly tattoo?
As if you could see it through that TREE TRUNK.
As if you could see it through that TREE TRUNK.
Running joke in the __B household, repeated when claw-foot tubs appear on the TV screen:
If you notice any decrease in hearing or vision BECAUSE YOUR EYES AND EARS ARE BLOCKED BY YOUR PENIS call your doctor immediately.
What is this list anyway? One of these things is not like the others?
There are two main criteria. (Minor criteria have to do with ho cranky I am when blogging.) One should be intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer, the other is a bit more difficult.
I hate you.
Can’t say as I blame you. I hate J Neo Marvin for bringing it up – I’d (blessedly) forgotten about it, too.
Oh well, I needed to lose a few more pounds. It’s quite the diet incentive.
(Minor criteria have to do with ho cranky I am when blogging.
GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY HUSBAND!
D’oh.
If Ollie North has a source in Afghanistan, and that source is giving him classified information, and that source is in the U.S. military, then that source should have his/her career ruined and do some time. Or perhaps his “source” is a fellow terrorist.
Ollie isn’t still walking around with that uniform is he? That’s impersonating an officer.
My nym is boring and non-clever because I was drunk and lazy the first time I commented. (Yeah, yeah, go for it.) I have continued to be so lazy as to not worry about it and have not yet been inclined to adopt a new nym. Until now. I don’t believe one could find a better nym for this blog than Pupienus Maximus. Yes, it is pronounced as you think.
HA! First of all, many thanks…it always makes me grin when someone likes my little trifles.
As to the manipulated lesbian sex, well…I’ve often given brief thought to doing some erotic stuff, but it always gets pushed off in favor of my usual cute/whimsical/fanciful stuff. ‘Course I suppose there’s no reason why erotica can’t be whimsical and cute.
I slave over the JanusNode and now you push Pupienus Maximus in my face???
Oh – if you never studied Latin, perhaps you would think something else. Lil’ help.
was jointly Roman Emperor with Balbinus
Awesome.
Pupienus had two sons…
Doubly awesome.
This all sounds very dirty. I don’t approve.
I don’t believe one could find a better nym for this blog than Pupienus Maximus.
His co-ruler Decimus Balbinas even has nym potential.
Or worse, DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Don’t forget Teh Butox.
I don’t believe one could find a better nym for this blog than Pupienus Maximus.
That’s amazing.
I slave over the JanusNode and now you push Pupienus Maximus in my face???
This all sounds very dirty. I don’t approve.
I do!
Oh – if you never studied Latin, perhaps you would think something else.
Aw, ookit the big puppy!
What?
Running joke in the __B household, repeated when claw-foot tubs appear on the TV screen
Mine is: If you have an erection lasting more than four hours…please wait another four hours before exiting your wife.
there’s no reason why erotica can’t be whimsical and cute.
Would this count?
I don’t believe one could find a better nym for this blog than Pupienus Maximus.
Poopyanus Maximus?
Well, that’s not good!
Pupienus had two sons…
…dangling beneath him like Klingons.
Well, I’ll say this: I would not want to go into the mind of who found that even remotely fappable. But cute and whimsical? Boy howdy!
“into the mind of anyone”
Jesus. I have RetardFingers today.
I have RetardFingers today
Stop picking on Trigger Finger!
Boy oh boy, nothing says “heavy-duty journalistic cred” quite like going for backup from the traitorous narcissist who was such an utter asshat that he couldn’t even delete his own fucking e-mails properly:
Only one response comes to mind:
Two wetsuits & a GI JOE doll.
Some clowns are actually funny – Oliver North isn’t one of them.
I bet that bucktoothed fucknut is still a wanted man in Costa Rica … strongly recommend “renditioning” followed by extradition with extreme prejudice.
No.
Meh. He’s not my type.
Stop picking on Trigger Finger!
No.
At least wait until I’ve got him out of my nose, K?
Meh. He’s not my type.
Am I the only person on the planet with a female penisologist?
Am I the only person on the planet with a female penisologist?
Pretty sure you’re the only person on the planet with a “penisologist” at all.
Lil’ help.
I like how if you keep clicking the play button you get a Pupienus reverberation.
Pretty sure you’re the only person on the planet with a “penisologist” at all.
I got the referral from doctor Dragon-King Wangchuck
I like how if you keep clicking the play button you get a Pupienus reverberation.
Oh, man, that’s awesome. I’m totally going to do that when I get home. It’ll be the best Friday night EVER!
I’m totally going to do that when I get home. It’ll be the best Friday night EVER!
You’ve got to get out of the midwest.
I got the referral from doctor Dragon-King Wangchuck
How does he know her? Did they go to the same high school? Did he look her up on penisologists.com? Perhaps they’re related?
I’m totally going to do that when I get home. It’ll be the best Friday night EVER!
You’ve got to get out of the midwest.
I know. I was only half-joking.
Don’t you judge. I’M A VIRGO AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE!!!!
Stop
pickingpulling on Trigger Finger!How does he know her? Did they go to the same high school? Did he look her up on penisologists.com? Perhaps they’re related?
DKW’s mom sends the Penisologist so much business the whole family made her Christmas card list
How does he know her? Did they go to the same high school? Did he look her up on penisologists.com? Perhaps they’re related?
He had her on speed dial, so you might be right. Also, I had to pay him 40% of her fee, upfront.
Pupienus Maximus. said,
May 14, 2010 at 19:24
Not Biggus Dickus?
Well somebody had to say it!
I’M A VIRGO AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE!!!!
You Catholic girls start much too late.
@ jim;
I was googling around on the Costa Rica point you made and found this interesting read.
Nice quote, Ollie. You stay patriotic, home slice.
It’ll be the best Friday night EVER!
Sure beats OD’ing on Vicodin and tuning in House re-runs.
I’M A VIRGO AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE!!!!
You Catholic girls start much too late.
Not Catholic. Just anti-social.
Don’t you judge. I’M A VIRGO AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE!!!!
I’m a Virgo too, but my friends didn’t leave me…Not saying anything, but…
It’ll be the best Friday night EVER!
Sure beats OD’ing on Vicodin and tuning in House re-runs.
After I do that, I’ll be drinking gin and tonics and watching season 5 of LOST. (NO SPOILERS). So, not that much different.
Don’t you judge. I’M A VIRGO AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE!!!!
I’m a Virgo too, but my friends didn’t leave me…Not saying anything, but…
They didn’t move away because of me! They moved away because it sucks here.
watching season 5 of LOST
Is that the season that Naomi is born?
I got the referral from doctor Dragon-King Wangchuck
We specialists take the profession of Penisology very very seriously.
Not Catholic. Just anti-social.
Actor can help. He’s an expert in social diseases.
He’s an expert in social diseases
*glaring*
Why….yesssss…I studied under Momma __B at the Fromunda Institute and Lice Extermination Service.
I’M A VIRGO AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE!!!!
You don’t have to be a Virgo all your life, I can Librate you from that Capricorn. Then Gemini will both help you pick up the Pisces so it does not have to be a Cancer on your social life.
You have to study long and hard to get accredited – but the subject matter is often very meaty and juicy, the kind of learning that really fills you up.
the kind of learning that really fills you up.
Like a hot beef injection?
You Catholic girls start much too late.
Oooh! It being Friday and all, I feel obligated to post this.
Then Gemini will both help you pick up the Pisces so it does not have to be a Cancer on your social life.
Until she begins to Saggitarius.
Actor can help. He’s an expert in social diseases.
“Social” diseases? Is that some sort of euphemism?
I remember that a lot of Penisology lectures were held on Jewish holidays, so a lot of those students got to cut class.
Like a hot beef injection?
The staff is the creme de la creme.
Like a hot beef injection?
There’s a T&U Cordon Bleu joke crying out to be liberated, but I’m a-feared to be the one to do it.
I remember that a lot of Penisology lectures were held on Jewish holidays, so a lot of those students got to cut class.
We who stayed behind got nice tips, however.
“Social” diseases? Is that some sort of euphemism?
There’s a T&U Cordon Bleu joke crying out to be liberated
It would be cheesy
There’s a T&U Cordon Bleu joke crying out to be liberated, but I’m a-feared to be the one to do it.
Wrongful.
It would be cheesy
What a ham.
We who stayed behind got nice tips, however.
I heard there was quite a flap about that.
Here’s to the summer and gentle breezes
That lift little girls’ skirts above their kneeses
Little boy looks and likes what he seeses
Does what he pleases
Gets social diseases
It’s like being under innuendo machine gun fire up in this piece.
Heh heh, tsam said “innuendo”.
It’s like being under innuendo machine gun fire up in this piece.
Loves flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
That’s what DKWs mom said when she kicked me out in the morning.
Tsam what tsam and that’s all what tsam.
The jailer man and Tsailor Tsam were searching everyone…
In YOU endo!
In YOU endo!
Are you my penisoloigst????
Are you my penisoloigst????
Aww, it’s like Are You My Mother?, but with your weiner!
Wait…that didn’t come out right…
Are you my penisoloigst????
Don’t anyone give your right name, no, no, no.
I also just had to call maintenance to come open my desk drawer because there’s a binder clip or something sticking up and I can’t dislodge it. I am an idiot.
Wait…that didn’t come out right…
Veiled…just about everything.
Idiot’s such a strong word. You’re differently abled.
There’s a T&U Cordon Bleu joke crying out to be liberated, but I’m a-feared to be the one to do it.
Why, would you Croque, Monsieur?
Why, would you Croque, Monsieur?
The humour. It’s so cutlet.
I believe that would be your proctologist.
Why, would you Croque, Monsieur?
No but if I swallowed a mallet I’d croqu-et.
Idiot’s such a strong word. You’re differently abled.
That’s nice of you to say. I could probably fix it, but it would involve a lot of noise, which would annoy my co-workers, and maybe getting grease on my fingers.
I believe that would be your proctologist.
See, that’s what I told her, but then she stuffed a ballgag in my mouth.
No but if I swallowed a mallet I’d croqu-et.
These jokes, they are so pate.
maybe getting grease on my fingers
You make it sound as if this is an unusual state for you.
I also just had to call maintenance to come open my desk drawer because there’s a binder clip or something sticking up and I can’t dislodge it. I am an idiot.
PROTIP: In, then out. Getting into drawers can be a challenge, but I can offer you all the advice necessary to earn an advanced degree.
Getting into drawers can be a challenge, but I can offer you all the advice necessary to earn an advanced degree
Is there a practical exam? What about a thesis? An oral dissertation?
maybe getting grease on my fingers
You make it sound as if this is an unusual state for you.
Well, I do eat a lot of bacon…
These jokes, they are so pate.
I believe amongst the bunch all liverwurst.
The way you talk, Actor, I thought you were an expert on getting into drawers.
PROTIP: In, then out. Getting into drawers can be a challenge, but I can offer you all the advice necessary to earn an advanced degree.
I already tried that a few times. This is *not* my first time getting something stuck in my drawer, trust.
T&U + Bacon
Two great tastes…
I thought you were an expert on getting into drawers.
I’m woefully behind in my CPEs
And….we’re back to T&U Cordon Bleu.
This is *not* my first time getting something stuck in my drawer, trust.
*sipping herbal tea quietly*
This is too easy. Anyone else?
Back to the topic.
Brad Thor is so Jeff Rense eight and a half years ago.
Wow. Websense is smarter than I thought it was. It has Rense.com listed as a hate site.
The way you talk, Actor, I thought you were an expert on getting into drawers
It’s the virility and the style. The braun, schweiger.
In that case, you should just go on being an idiot.
”
I would rather be anywhere else than here, today. ”
Is it something actor said?
Is it something actor said?
Sure, blame the biggest asshole on here!
Brad Thor is so Jeff Rense eight and a half years ago.
Wow! Obama captured Mulla Omar eight and a half years ago and has been keeping it under wraps all this time so he can spring the news at just the right time to win the next election. I tell ya, that Obama really plans ahead!
Wow! Obama captured Mulla Omar eight and a half years ago and has been keeping it under wraps all this time so he can spring the news at just the right time to win the next election. I tell ya, that Obama really plans ahead!
Well, what would you expect from a Kenyan so devious and clever that he planted a birth certificate and notice of birth in a Hawaiian newspaper 47 years before he runs for President?
Well, what would you expect from a Kenyan so devious and clever that he planted a birth certificate and notice of birth in a Hawaiian newspaper 47 years before he runs for President?
Not a lot of peolpe know this, but Obama’s real ambition back the was to be on the US Olympic curling team. Sometimes though, over time, plans change. He’s an ok president, but alas if he’d stayed with his original plan he would have brought home the curling gold and started a US curling dynasty.
This is too easy. Anyone else?
Hokay. So first you slip one finger into your drawers – gently, you don’t want to hurt yourself. Move your finger around a bit, see if you can clear whatever obstruction is preventing your release. you may need to slip another finger in. Go slowly and breathe deeply. If you relax enough, you should be able to slip your entire hand in there. Sure the space may seem to tight for a whole hand, but think of the size of things that normally go through that opening.
Remember to pace yourself. As you get closer to working it free you’ll start to get excited – but don’t push too hard or too fast, until you get to that moment when you know you’re going to get it to go. Just remember that when you scream out in triumph, you should keep it kinda muffled – you are at work.
This is too easy.
It’s Friday. I thought I’d lob a softball.
In that case, you should just go on being an idiot.
Works for me. Life is much easier that way.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn your webcam on first.
I hate and fear change, so I shall refer to you henceforth as PeeM. Now my world is back in order.
I hate and fear change, so I shall refer to you henceforth as PeeM.
Which now raises all sorts of uncomfortable and Freudian images of ballPeeM hammers…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
May 14, 2010 at 21:21
So I don’t need the maintenance man’s help after all? That’s a relief, because I don’t really like him that much anyway.
Also, too, who did you learn that from? Your mom?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
May 14, 2010 at 21:21
It seems to me that a vigorous massage of the strike plate might facilitate entry
I already tried that a few times. This is *not* my first time getting something stuck in my drawer, trust.
Touche!
Phase II, ultraviolence.
Uncomfortable and Freudian I can live with–and have been engaged to, even.
I believe that would be your proctologist.
See, that’s what I told her, but then she stuffed a ballgag in my mouth.
Had you pegged, didn’t she?
That didn’t work. Should I ask the ex-Marine at the front desk to help me?
So I don’t need the maintenance man’s help after all? That’s a relief, because I don’t really like him that much anyway.
Well if he’s already on the way, you may want to ignore the advice about going slow. You wouldn’t want to be caught with your hand stuffed down your drawers when he came in.
Also, too, who did you learn that from? Your mom?
Learn what? How to slip my entire hand into a woman’s opening, no matter how tight the fit? Well I’ll tell you that it’s taken years of practice.
Phase II, ultraviolence.
If six of the best from a nine pound maul with a running start can’t get your drawer open, you will have to get serious. I recommend a thermic lance http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermic_lance
Should I ask the ex-Marine at the front desk to help me?
Is his rifle at the ready?
Incredibly thin veil…
I got it!!!!
I have to stop sticking so many pens and binder clips in there.
I got it!!!!
Didja remember about the webcam?
Speaking of disturbing shit, Wonkette linked to a WaPo piece where Republicans share their wank fics about what they’ll do if the electorate is dumb enough to put them back in charge.
Didja remember about the webcam?
Nooooooooo. I’ll try to remember next time. I do it at least once a week.
I have to stop sticking so many pens and binder clips in there.
Well, pens I can understand….but we’ll need a graphical on the binder clip thing.
So I skirted the Mall (in DC) yesterday. I really wanted to chuck something at a teabagger, but there were none to be found. Just my luck. Aren’t they usually out there protesting something, like, every day? Like the taxes on Mountain Dew and SlimJims?
Learn what? How to slip my entire hand into a woman’s opening, no matter how tight the fit?
I can promise you, it doesn’t take any particular skill to get a hand into DKW’s mom’s drawers.
You couldn’t pay me to read that shit.
I’ll try to remember next time.
Okay. And if you don’t mind, could you arrange to be wearing a chef’s hat and hip waders when you do. What? Don’t judge me.
WTF? Ah, I see. I’ve stumbled onto Sadly, No: After Hours. Sweet.
I can promise you, it doesn’t take any particular skill to get a hand into DKW’s mom’s drawers.
Did anyone ever recover the steam shovel? I remember we sent the team in the Hummer in after it…
And if you don’t mind, could you arrange to be wearing a chef’s hat and hip waders when you do.
Anything else? Perhaps a monocle?
And if you don’t mind, could you arrange to be wearing a chef’s hat and hip waders when you do.
Bork! Bork! Bork!
So I skirted the Mall (in DC) yesterday.
Was it a slutty skirt or a flirty skirt?
Actually, it was a skirt that looked eerily like a pair of jeans.
Actually, it was a skirt that looked eerily like a pair of jeans.
So you pantsed the Mall in DC???
I guess I did…wish I could have pantsed a teabagger. Wait a second. No, I don’t. Ewwww.
wish I could have pantsed a teabagger. Wait a second. No, I don’t.
The decontamination and delousing makes a prison shower look like a spa treatment.
Psst! New thread!
You’ve already read it; it’s the same mantra of “privatization, deregulation, and tax cuts for the rich” that they’ve been preaching all along. It’s like a formulaic horror movie, except the monster’s real.
Aah! Thought I had shut the place down or had an offensive odor or something.
If the administration hasn’t spilled this, it’s for a great reason. A reason having to do with, ya know, national security, stragery in the war on turror and such…
So I’ll ask with honest bewilderment: Why does Ollie North hate America?
Sharing Vacuumslayer’s concerns about security clearances and so forth, but there is actually no double standard here — they are merely following precedents set by Cheney administration for breaching security and waving around TSC information whenever there was a chance of winning a news cycle. You will recall the British operation that had to be wrapped up prematurely, missing a number of people, simply because Bush wanted to boast of capturing terrarists.
In other anti-podean news,
PENIS.
So the tourist reckons “he fell asleep naked on the beach” and woke up in pain. Yeah, sure. Key sentence from the article:
The spiders usually bite only in self defence.
WHAT WAS HE DOING TO IT??!
the British operation that had to be wrapped up prematurely, missing a number of people, simply because Bush wanted to boast of capturing terrarists.
Well of course because if we miss a news cycle THE TERRORISTS WIN
WHAT WAS HE DOING TO IT??!
If you saw the picture of the spider, you’d see there’s some junk in that trunk, knowhutImean?
And thus a whole new set of passive voices have arisen, and wonderments have already started being wondered, as to whether Mistakes Were Made, such as whether evidence shredding or smuggling took place, or occurred, or eventualized, and in particular whether such confidential document smuggling might have taken the form of said confidential documents being secreted inside Fawn Hall’s kootchie in highly-trained-intelligence-professional-style for their covert journeys past the camera eyes.
Okay, but the real question is, was he a Proctor?
TAKE THIS!
Le the Electric Miner
Pofeyoyyoquaquoo Paz the Evil Coroner
Veta Hanger-Lights
Webtangela Fertilizers the Cosmological Spider-Steed
Damaris Bucoo the Blood Wolf
Telegrams Toscanini-Accordion the Golden Pearl Danio
Rachel Adulthood the Lacy Leatherer
Yvone Death the Waterbuck
Yoozmihekl Roggizo
Amputating Soygloych
Lapnourkih Coudprecdajo the Loan Officer
Bulldozedqueg Motorcycles-Shoves the Nocturnal Pelican
Rorykoow Mouywasred the Omnipotent Chimaera
Yuplwatdir Krystina the Perceptive Grey Seal
Gracie-Lachelle Cubwoyomolou the Penultimate Tuner
Vickie Clenovohsith the Extroverted Ogre skeleton
Wubtales Karren the Black Orc
Lucas the Hissing Reviler
Saklosseeh Rattle the Gibbon
Roberta Jasper
Chief Warrant Officer Alonacom Ranger-Marin
Backwater
Ramona Stood the Welder
Strategic Nourmou
Einstein the Salt Basilisk
Snifter the Bowfin
Sifting Heiresses
Joycebee Moving-Gustave the Turbot
Coojraguel Absents the Pre-Programmed Gate-Keeper
Preassigning Chieko the Waiter
Excessivelap Keira the Disc Jockey
Rufina Gary the Grunion
Suffocated Sachdaweshoo the Artless Mustard Eel
Tend Revisiting-Mousy
Alycia Cooperating the Cannibalistic Veteran Gladiator
Tigwecrkibxay
Veered Kaycltuthsitmo
Tyesha the Omnipresent Shepherd
Bikl Cordia
Wookneyooz the Delicious Secretary General
Plecleetayp Gastronomy the Billfish
Molly Rina the Zombie Dragon Turtle
Jacquelynn Issac
Ceceliaroo Handily-Forbearance
Arnoldpeeb Penchant the Rocky Street Musician
Uproar Scrambler the Guardian Gorgon
Wideterminately Yoozvoydawe the Delicious Endangered Species
Kaje Veskee
Remnantsdiv Conjures-Attacking the Nightmare of the Lion
Illiterate Latoyia
Xavaytuh Jasmin the Stuffer
Pendulums Shawnta
Sushwillia Brenna
Erwin-Arminda Monopolies
Milliamperefaym Famkuwclaypen the Spanish Mackerel
Pew Mervin the Cheerleader
Shelly Yoplfogloler the Fleet Entrepreneur
Boshipl Marianne the Everyday Industrial Designer
Sicathleen Subranges
Cashquoocpido Cuff-Terminals the Monstrous Dancer
Hobbyistspleex Sage
Lunapiw Nile the Ide
Wequflorrie Redisplaying the Anarchistic Platy
Bibula Rosita the Coach
Declassify Yomcisheek the Gigantic Purple Moss
Gaped Terrorizes-Sioux the Wonderful Social worker
Huddlevipr Cursed
Salvador Aeration
Jinny Submarines the Amberjack
Flux Les the Deer
Christopherjeep Chanyet the Upholsterer
Klodsucking Michale
Greta Plou
Shanita the Ant Swarm
Wew Zoraida the Jazz Peddler
Dung-Edmond Coowogutfe the Commendable Infantryman
Femedicinally Klosploumab the Symbolic Anemonefish
Zina the Hidden Humpback Whale
Weeployrun the River Shark
Claydifferentiation Slab-Appointive
Martial Zoyshleehvizfoow
Jeepprothximproth Ozella the Chalk Golem
Fejpa Laticia
Plorogzoy
Duydayt Yee
Dorine Thi the Adorable Sheepshearer
Initiating-Challenges the Handsome Clownfish
Nairobi Kipdekbou the Music Director
Declaratorvey Constraining-Influences
Nolansheek Dap the Acrobatic Giant Spider
Queen Zenobia
Cecile Queglu the Fierce Archaeologist
Yagzuhitgee
Janay Taypsheekcay the Willowy Vibraphonist
Chesterfield
Mitgillian Humouxewichple
Idles Downhill
Rentals Thenvohplish the Ostler
Shirleen Fogarty the Giant Lungfish
Barb the Carefree Exterminator
Yimearrowed Ruinous the Important Pallas’ Cat
Oh FYWP.
Sifting Heiresses
That’s not a pseudonym, that’s a hobby.