Master Beach is in the green t-shirt

That looks suspiciously like a detachable phallus he’s holding. [h/t Philip Jose Farmer, Venus on the Half-Shell.]

Great.

Now I’m covered in rotten mangoes, AND my ears are bleeding.

He’s ADORABLE.

What an incredibly stupid blog this is. Later.

I just can’t get out of the boat. I like feeling like I live in a sane world, and that I’m sort of glimpsing insanity out of the corner of my eye.

/flops dead on floor

AND I’m using unecessary commas.

That dude looks like Tony Romo.

No quiero mangoes. (I’m a US citizen, just so we’re clear).

gawd awful music; logic, no better.

Critics mock us for our strict rules – like no dancing or drinking on campus

Jump back!

I think the infinitesimal chance I had of being murdered at college was
a small price to pay for all the bong rips, Jager bombs and casual sex.

What is that music supposed to be? Alternative Christian? Is Master Beach allowed to play the devil’s music?

First the Lil Debbie link in the last post, and now this? My brain’s aural* region will never recover.

*Yes, veiled and such as.

I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – violence or murder.

Loser. Good luck in the Free Market, pansy.

Alternative Christian?

I think that’s known as UU Rock.

I’m certainly not saying that Christians are not capable of committing the same, if not worse crimes. But the culture of Christianity and the rules we hold ourselves to at Patrick Henry lay substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.

“I’m not saying… but I am saying.”

I’m certainly not saying that Christians are not capable of committing the same, if not worse crimes.

His “music” certainly qualifies.

“UU”?

“UU”?

Unitarian Universalist?

UU Rock: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism

the fact remains that Patrick Henry College has it’s own recipe for student

Yet, what is the cost of students being able to “express” themselves?

English major, presumably.

Considering that the USA Today calculated 857 college student deaths from 2000 to 2005, how does one school manage to escape unscathed? It’s certainly not chance or luck.

It isn’t? According to UNESCO there are 5,758 institutions of higher learning in the US, I bet most of them managed to escape unscathed, whether they’re hip to Jesus or not.

why is there a crescent moon in his little coat of arms thingy? i thought he was christian.

Patrick Henry College has it’s own recipe for student

How To Serve Christians

Gee, select for and control the robot kids and they do what you say, huh? I’ll bet a Star Trek College would be similarly non-violent but with more fuckin’.

Sounds a little crunchy and groovy to me, N_B. I doubt UU music/thought would be too welcome at PH. I think it’s hip Christian rock!! Woo-hoo! Hope noone was dancing.

This kid is hopelessly out of touch with reality..

From an earlier post on April 27

Within the past couple of months there has dawned a new front in the counter-culture war – music videos.

While he mentions that videos have been around since 1981, he claims that its only the last few months that violent, graphic videos have been popping up. Well there are a slew of them, bud. Anyone remember the video for “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails? That sh!t is twisted! That came out in ’94. Get a grip, it’s a friggin VIDEO.

In four years, my school has not had a single murder, suicide, or violent crime.

Not true. Millions of potential babies die in socks at PHC every Saturday night.

How To Serve Christians

Always with bread and whine.

I’ll bet a Star Trek College would be similarly non-violent but with more fuckin’.

Did you see the last movie? Between the green chick, JJ Abrams’s directing, and Uhura, there was hardly any non-fucking on screen.

What an incredibly stupid blog this is

Well, duh.

Anyone got some more Manikin clips? Let’s get scathed, man!

‘I understand that many people are turned off by Christianity and its giant “rulebook.”’

Wait just a goldarn minute here. Exactly where in the Bible does it say there should be no dancing, drinking or mixing of the sexes? We know for a fact that there was plenty of drinking. Lot and his daughters, anyone? And dancing? Salome ring a bell? Now cavorting between the sexes……I think it’s the Mooslims that look down on that…..

Exactly where in the Bible does it say there should be no dancing, drinking or mixing of the sexes? We know for a fact that there was plenty of drinking.

I once had a Maranatha nut claim to me with a straight face that Jesus turned water not into wine but into grape juice.

Master Beach? Does he perhaps have a friend named Bates?

We know for a fact that there was plenty of drinking. Lot and his daughters, anyone?

Also Noah, for the drunkeness, and that Jesus dude but nobody pays him close attention anymore.

But the culture of Christianity and the rules we hold ourselves to at Patrick Henry lay substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.

I see his point, because if are two things that have never been done in the name of Christianity, it’s violent or illegal behavior.

But the culture of Christianity . . . lay[s] substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.

Oh, yeah, remember how all those OB/GYN doctors weren’t shot, and those clinics weren’t terrorized, and like that there ’cause of the culture of Christianity?

and that Jesus dude but nobody pays him close attention anymore.
That’s cuz everybody’s hungover from all his cheap wine.

I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – violence or murder.

I was not aware that murder was not violence.

Considering that the USA Today calculated 857 college student deaths from 2000 to 2005, how does one school manage to escape unscathed? It’s certainly not chance or luck.

How stoopid do you have to be to believe that there are only 857 colleges (or fewer) across America?

Oh. Right. Stoopid enough to enroll at Patrick Henry “College”!

and that Jesus dude but nobody pays him close attention anymore.
That’s cuz everybody’s hungover from all his cheap wine.

Hey, He served the good stuff at the wedding in Cana.

Now cavorting between the sexes……I think it’s the Mooslims that look down on that…..

Clearly you’ve never been to a strict Jewish religious ritual of any kind.

It explains a lot about Lieberman’s ‘tude towards rape victims.

I’m the Associate Producer of Bill Bennett’s Morning In America.

The Gambler!

Yikes, this sh!t scares me…

From the “about” section of PHC:

The Mission of Patrick Henry College is to prepare Christian men and women who will lead our nation and shape our culture with timeless biblical values and fidelity to the spirit of the American founding.

You know what else shaped this nation? Geological forces. But only for 6,000 years.

In re: Beach’s band…you know your band is shit when the drummer is the best musician you have.

Esteev, PHC has been infesting the nation for a decade already, given the ease of access its graduates had to the Bush administration job postings.

I’d suggest their “influence,” such as it was, has waned already.

Patrick Henry College?

Really?

Go fuck yourself, godboy.

Bill Bennetts’ popular novella.

From the founder of Patrick Henry College:

“Tolerance cannot coexist with liberty” because “the crowd of tolerance wants to ban speech.”

To quote the namesake: “Give me liberty! But don’t give it to the other guy until we break him!”

I’d suggest their “influence,” such as it was, has waned already.

I can only hope. What was that lawyers name in the Bush Admin who was about 32 years old, went to Pat Robertson’s indoctrination school and was in charge of all the Justice Dept lawyers? Or something..

How stoopid do you have to be to believe that there are only 857 colleges (or fewer) across America?

I think he doesn’t believe that, he just couldn’t be arsed to look it up but doesn’t believe in chance because JESUS.

The Mission of Patrick Henry College is to prepare Christian men and women who will lead our nation and shape our culture with timeless biblical values and fidelity to the spirit of the American founding.

Mr Beach is clearly hoping to become a statistician.

From Beach’s previous post:

Within the past couple of months there has dawned a new front in the counter-culture war – music videos. Now, music videos have been around since MTV’s birth in 1981, but they were largely innocent, dance routines with weak subplots. Granted, it’s hard to make a particularly offensive movie in under four minutes, but in the past couple of months, several extremely offensive music videos have found ways to break the traditional MTV mold and shock even the most culturally desensitized. There are no ratings or warnings on these videos. They are floating free on the ocean of internet music sites with only a few blogs slapping on the weak label of NSFW (Not Safe For Work).

Imagine, a new front opened in just the past couple of months!

Oh, and the entire premise of Beach’s nonsensical blog post is moot. It hasn’t been determined whether or not she was killed. He is, shockingly, indicting another youthful white guy. If his freinds only knew whatta narc he is.

Considering that the USA Today calculated 857 college student deaths from 2000 to 2005, how does one school manage to escape unscathed? It’s certainly not chance or luck.

Over a 5 year period that works out to about 172 deaths per year. For tigris’s 5758 colleges in the US, that works out to about .03 deaths per year per school.

When you consider illnesses, suicides (NYU had 6 in 2004, sadly) accidents, crime, etc. – not to mention outlyer data like the shootings at VMU – it seems to me college is a pretty safe place to be.

They are floating free on the ocean of internet music

Will the internet ocean be destroyed by BP?!

What was that lawyers name in the Bush Admin who was about 32 years old, went to Pat Robertson’s indoctrination school and was in charge of all the Justice Dept lawyers? Or something..

Monica Goodling.

it seems to me college is a pretty safe place to be.

Sure, until every adult you look up at* is telling you its scaaaaary.

*VBJR

PENIS. And such as.

Father and I went down to camp
Along with Monica Goodling
There we seen the men and boys
On the ground canoodling
Yankee Doodle keep it up
Yankee Doodle dandy
Mind the music
Watch where you step
And with the girls be randy

but in the past couple of months, several extremely offensive music videos have found ways to break the traditional MTV mold and shock even the most culturally desensitized.

Really? Wow? Nine Inch Nails never played on MTV? Closer was released this decade?

Wow. I’m only 42 now????

Monica Goodling

Thanks, tigris! She was destined to be a savior of the world mockery.

But the culture of Christianity . . . lay[s] substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.

Tell that to the Albigensians.

“Kill them all. God will know his own.”

Ugh. Is he talking about the chick who got shot in the ankle because she wouldn’t give her phone number to some fucking asshole after a party?

Or is this a different case of drunk sluts being out of control and deserving it because they left the house?

it seems to me college is a pretty safe place to be.

Indeed.

Soon after its publication, Root learned his contract [at Patrick Henry College] was being “temporarily withdrawn” based on the article as well as a complaint from a student’s parent over his use of the “lifeboat example” in class. Root said the illustration was used to explain Thomas Hobbes’s state of nature argument. “Acting academic dean [Marian Sanders] told me I couldn’t use that any more,” said Root. “She said that there are some questions we can’t ask in class or entertain.”

TruculentandUnreliable said,
May 4, 2010 at 20:49

The latter.

Wow. I’m only 42 now????

You know who NIN is? lololololoolollol

From the link

“I’m fortunate to say that I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – violence or murder.”

Wow, at my University we just got drunk, took drugs, skipped lectures and tried to sleep with women. Your Uni sounds proper mental!

Really? Wow? Nine Inch Nails never played on MTV? Closer was released this decade?

No Dio was not played on there neither, which is very very odd ’cause I clearly remember the 700 Club telling me the video for “Last In Line” was all satanic & stuff back in 1985.

She said that there are some questions we can’t ask in class or entertain.”

COME TO PATRICK HENRY COLLEGE, BUT DON’T ASK QUESTIONS! (or_dance)

I’m certainly not saying that Christians are not capable of committing the same, if not worse crimes.

I can play this game!

“While I’m certainly not saying that devoting your life to a church that thinks you can repress natural instincts will make you into a pedophile … ”

It’s so much fun!!

I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – violence or murder.

We have something in common! Of course, I didn’t have to attend some pathetic, fourth-rate, fundamentalist, repressive, shitty-at-teaching-actual-knowledge, and bigoted college to do so.

Where I went to school, it was called “basic human decency” and we didn’t need some 2,000-year-old book to tell us about it.

Also, too: that is not music they are playing. There are notes in there, and they’re playing what appear to be musical instruments, and there’s even a guy making sounds into a microphone.

But it sure as fuck ain’t music.

You know who NIN is? lololololoolollol

DON’T JUDGE ME!

Besides, I have a twenty year old kid. And trust me, NIN is low-rent vanilla ice cream compared to what she listens to.

“She said that there are some questions we can’t ask in class or entertain.”

“I’m fortunate to say that I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – learning anything that contradicted what my parents wanted me to know.”

I would think performing a Bloc Party song (and that badly) would be pretty un-Christian as well.

Dio was not played on there neither

Welll yea but that was more cuz RJ sucked.

you know your band is shit when the drummer is the best musician you have.

So they’re just like Rush?

Liberty Ball.

T&U

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/05/04/virginia.lacrosse.yeardley.love/

nd trust me, NIN is low-rent vanilla ice cream compared to what she listens to.

Interest, etc etc.

So they’re just like Rush?

Worse. You’d need four bullets to take them out.*
.
.
.
.
.
* not that I am suggesting that anybody deserves this fate of being either stalked or threatened much less shot at. I’m fortunate to say that I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years — ninja assassinations.

Interest, etc etc.

Google “Mindless Self-Indulgence”.

Check out the bass player, in particular.

They’re local.

So they’re just like Rush?

Heyyy, I like Rush.

Um, worth noting is that Patrick Henry College apparently has a student population of around 325.

Liberty Ball

aka Going Commando in Christian-college-speak

Considering that the USA Today calculated 857 college student deaths from 2000 to 2005, how does one school manage to escape unscathed?

Well, given that there are hundreds (if not thousands) of institutions of higher learning in the U.S., and many of them are orders of magnitude larger than PHC, which according to Wikipedia has a whopping 325 students… I hope, for his sake, that this son-of-a-Beach didn’t major in math.

Speaking of PHC and Wikipedia:

The first college in the United States founded specifically for Christian home-schooled students, Patrick Henry is known for its conservative evangelical Christian focus.

Well, fancy that.

t Patrick Henry College apparently has a student population of around 325.

Wow, that’s like a 6th the size of my old high school; my college being 46 times larger. And who got the better education?

[PHC] officially opened September 20, 2000, with a class of 92 students. Since then the school has grown to approximately 325 students.

Man, and none of those 92 to 325 students were murdered during a 5 year period! That certainly can’t be luck or chance.

actor212 said,
May 4, 2010 at 20:55

Thanks. I really didn’t want to get out of the boat, but I was curious as to what he was talking about.

Man, and none of those 92 to 325 students were murdered during a 5 year period! That certainly can’t be luck or chance.

Unintelligent Design.

Great minds, S. McG.

Man, and none of those 92 to 325 students were murdered during a 5 year period! That certainly can’t be luck or chance.

I want two statistics:

1) The number that came out of the closet after graduation.

2) The suicide rate.

1994?! That makes me feel old…

I found Justin, Beach’s inseparable buddy

331!

Wow, that’s like a 6th the size of my old high school; my college being 46 times larger. And who got the better education?

You probably wasted a bunch of time thinking the things that shouldn’t be thought about in class.

“I’m fortunate to say that I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – violence or murder.”

Yeah, you know, back when I went to college, you could hardly get into your classes for all the dead bodies and fights going on around campus. And sleeping? That was right out. Way too much screaming, sirens and shattering glass and gunshots going on. The weekends were even worse!

Who the fuck is this guy, anyway?

Great minds, S. McG.

An honour.

Ordinarily I couldn’t care less what people at a place like Patrick Henry College do or don’t do. But what bugs me about PHC is it’s apparently the place where wingnut whelps go to prepare for careers in government and politics.

Let’s see…train people to assume and wield authority by rigorously segregating them from anyone of different races, sexuality, opinions or lifestyles. Nope, nothing could go wrong with that.

Oh, God. It’s specifically for home-schooled students. So, basically, these children have never had to have contact with anyone outside their tiny little evangelo-sphere in their entire lives. Going out into the real world is going to be tough.

Also, what Bitter Scribe said. Too.

Worse. You’d need four bullets to take them out.*

Water — > Monitor

Heyyy, I like Rush.

I was never impressed — ya just sniffed and sniffed and got dizzy.*

Wait, what?

(*Some of the old-timers will probably get this. For the kids: POOP!)

You probably wasted a bunch of time thinking the things that shouldn’t be thought about in class.

Yes.

You probably wasted a bunch of time thinking the things that shouldn’t be thought about in class.

You mean like…ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffacts?

Oh, God. It’s specifically for home-schooled students.

Not regionally accredited, etc.

(*Some of the old-timers will probably get this. For the kids: POOP!)

STOP STALKING ME!

Seriously, I was singing that all weekend while getting a battery of tests…

please check this link, it’s bugging me that I was the only one who went there..

http://motherjones.com/photoessays/2008/11/right-portraits-evangelical-ivy-league/01

I wonder if those fucktards know that Bloc Party wrote a song critical of George W. Bush.

Oh, and a song about oil consumption and war called “Price of Gas.”

Patrick Henry College apparently has a student population of around 325.

Wow, that’s like a 6th the size of my old high school;

Hell, that’s a quarter of the size of my kid’s junior high.

please check this link, it’s bugging me that I was the only one who went there..

OMFG.

Worth a reread.

I want two statistics:
1) The number that came out of the closet after graduation.

That’s two

You can’t spell “Patrick Henry College” without “Prick”.

That’s two

Well, we know that dorky kid with the appalling tie isn’t one.

Granted, it’s hard to make a particularly offensive movie in under four minutes, but in the past couple of months, several extremely offensive music videos have found ways to break the traditional MTV mold and shock even the most culturally desensitized.

Damn. I must have accidently crossed over into the alternate timeline where the so-called Moral Majority never spent the 80s kvetching endlessly about Madonna and her imitators.

Caption: Two Patrick Henry College students with Negro they later lynched.

OMFG.

The 19 year old woman who still calls her mother “Mama” is worth an OMFG.

What it looks like when your eight year old dresses sexier than your nineteen year old.

Um….. what’s wrong with this?

“This school is about people coming and learning how to lead. PHC (Patrick Henry College) was the only school I applied to. I live my life, or seek to live my life, day-by-day, moment-by-moment, being guided by the Lord. I wanted to be at a college where people share that passion. The best thing about Patrick Henry is that it teaches about the world with a Chrsitian worldview. Learning the life skills about how to serve the Lord and doing so in an atmosphere of academic rigor makes me fell like I am part of something.

So he lives every moment of his life being guided, and he’s learning the skills to serve. But he went there to learn to lead.

I must have accidently crossed over into the alternate timeline where the so-called Moral Majority never spent the 80s kvetching MTV has actually played videos in the last 10 years.

Fixeded for kids these days!

The 19 year old woman who still calls her mother “Mama” is worth an OMFG.

I saw that.

I just can’t be that cruel to the retarded.

Esteev, I’m a subscriber to the dead tree edition of MoJo (hey, DFH and all…) seeing those pictures once was plenty for me. *shudder*

The whole thing worried me a lot more until I just read (from a link above somewhere) that they’ve graduated a total of three hundred twenty-someodd students. Thank FSM the homeschooling thing doesn’t scale. They and their parents can continue in their self-congratulatory wankery as long as they want. Some, I suppose, are scattered around the government thanks to the Bush years but their influence will be, mercifully, limited.

Soon-to-be expelled PHC student enjoys a short break from masturbation.

The 19 year old woman who still calls her mother “Mama” is worth an OMFG.

I find the fact that she calls her dad “Daddy” just as creepy.

I just can’t be that cruel to the retarded.

You just did!

I’m really tempted to drive down to the college, find a bathroom and write some graffiti that would make “Mama” blush.

What it looks like when your eight year old dresses sexier than your nineteen year old.

WRONGFUL. But hilarious. Are they required to start wearing skirts once they hit puberty? All the weird, conservatively dressed evangelicals I’ve seen make their girls wear skirts pretty much from birth.

I just can’t be that cruel to the retarded.

You just did!

I had another beer.

So, basically, these children have never had to have contact with anyone outside their tiny little evangelo-sphere in their entire lives. Going out into the real world is going to be tough.

Sounds like the idea is they go straight into internships with Republican congresscritters or think tanks – so they may never go out into the real world.

Then again, transitioning from evangelical nun to leather slave might be an even bigger shock.

And the two roommates in plaid short-sleeves shirts? totally not gay.

I happened upon the CNN coverage of the UV student death last night. At that point there was very little but there was this very odd quote from the University President:

“That she appears now to have been murdered by another student compounds this sense of loss by suggesting that Yeardley died without comfort or consolation from those closest to her,” University of Virginia President John Casteen said. “We know no explanation of what appears now to have happened,” he said.

Um, yeah, it is doubly tragic that she wasn’t murdered in front of her friends and family?!

Either this is a horrible misquote or a major failure of the University’s publicity office.

Whale, yeah that slideshow is a bit old but I remembered laughing at the title “Portraits from the Evangelical Ivy League”.

These people make Harvard grads look cool as hell, smokin’ ‘rettes between shots of flaming 151.

Those pictures from Mother Jones… the horror! My sincere hope for Juli is that they do a follow-up on these kids and find out that she dropped out of PHC halfway through her sophomore year and went to a state university on financial aid, and show her with spiked hair, about a dozen piercings (and those just the ones that you can see), and a T-shirt that reads REAL MEN EAT PUSSY.

Thank FSM the homeschooling thing doesn’t scale.

Tell that to Mama Duggar.

I’m really tempted to drive down to the college, find a bathroom and write some graffiti that would make “Mama” blush.

Road trip! They’d be asking us New Yorkers how the “real world looks.” We’d be gods, actor! Gods!

Are they required to start wearing skirts once they hit puberty?

It makes both shoplifting and dropping a litter easier.

Within the past couple of months there has dawned a new front in the counter-culture war – music videos. Now, music videos have been around since MTV’s birth in 1981, but they were largely innocent, dance routines with weak subplots. Granted, it’s hard to make a particularly offensive movie in under four minutes, but in the past couple of months, several extremely offensive music videos have found ways to break the traditional MTV mold and shock even the most culturally desensitized.

Wow, that’s stupid. I was literally not allowed to watch MTV in the ’80s because of how inappropriate the videos were. Granted, I was in single digits then, but my point still stands. Furthermore, to think it’s hard to make an offensive movie in under four minutes is simply a failure of imagination.

Okay, Esteev — I’ll visit the link.

**goes on over**

Oh dear. That needs some editing:

The best thing about Patrick Henry is that it teaches preaches about the world with a Chrsitian [sic] worldview [without mentioning the actual teachings of Christ (charity, helping the sick and poor, etc.)]. Learning the life skills propaganda about how to serve the Lord rich, powerful and white, and doing so in an atmosphere of academic rigor willful ignorance and unflinching belief in things that don’t exist or aren’t actually true, makes me fell [sic] like I am part of something.
–Some PHC-attending Nutbag

Fixxored for accuracy of the greatest!

Sounds like the idea is they go straight into sex slavery internships with Republican congresscritters

Adjusted for accuracy.

They’d be asking us New Yorkers how the “real world looks.” We’d be gods, actor! Gods!

If by “gods” you mean the guy with the horns and if by “asking us New Yorkers” you mean cuffing us and leaving us in the county lockup, yes.

leaving us in the county lockup, yes.

Probably, but I bet we’d have at least 2 good hours to scoop some evangelical longskirt before all that!

Um, yeah, it is doubly tragic that she wasn’t murdered in front of her friends and family?!

You know the old saying: “The family that slays together…”

I was literally not allowed to watch MTV in the ’80s because of how inappropriate the videos were.

Neither was I.

This is my favorite risque video of the early 90s. It’s kind of boring until the mud wrestling part, though.

You know the old saying: “The family that slays together…”

OK, that one’s gonna cost me an eternity in hell.

Mark D said,
May 4, 2010 at 21:24

Why thanks, Mark. That quote actually makes sense now.

Probably, but I bet we’d have at least 2 good hours to scoop some evangelical longskirt before all that!

oooooh, serious hand holding! And petting!¹

¹ Veiled farm animal reference.

Hey, He served the good stuff at the wedding in Cana.
Perhaps, but he didn’t have to pay for it. I use capitalism to judge quality.

This is my favorite risque video of the early 90s.

Mine was Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”.

Not that the music was any fucking good. The fantasy of Tawney Kitaen¹ stripping in my car……rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowr!

¹ Proof I am not Crow. T. Robot.

oooooh, serious hand holding!

HAWT DAMN! Dibs on Juli[sick]!

I use capitalism to judge quality.

I agree. A fine Two Buck Chuck makes any roadkill slide down the throat more easily.

oooooh, serious hand holding! And petting!¹

Good luck with that.

Closing in on 150 comments. Thank you all for holding off and letting me in with the late, but obligatory Shaw Moore quote:

If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

This is why there is no dancing at Patrick Henry.

Oh, I get it now! I was trying to figure out why he was all against dancing (like in Footloose, altho I think they misspelled it “Foollose” in the Buttfuck, Pennsyltucky town that Beach grew up inm but I digress) AND he plays in a really shitty band, but it suddenly hit me.

He plays in a shitty band to bring the Word to his audience. Pretty successful, too, I imagine.

God knows how many of them cry out to Jesus when the band starts up.

Proof I am not Crow. T. Robot.

Good to know. I *was* wondering…

C’mere, kid, and let me show you an old music video of a woman named Cher…

(Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted Snake” also comes to mind, since that explicitly mocked the prissy set)

This is why there is no dancing at Patrick Henry.

I was trying to reconcile the whole “no dancing” with Beach’s membership in a fucking crappy band and then it hit me:

He’s bring the Word to his audience. I bet it works really well. He probably has three-quarters of them crying out to Jesus after the first chord.

Mine was Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”.

Not that the music was any fucking good. The fantasy of Tawney Kitaen¹ stripping in my car……rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowr!

I couldn’t have told you the name of the song, but, oh yeah.

All you need to read from T&U’s article:

“I tried to be very careful not to fall in love with him until we had gotten engaged,” Heather Pardee said.

Offered without comment.

Does anyone have fresh mangoes?

If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

Oh, yawn. Like there’s never been such a thing as bawdy music before.

Good luck with that.
From T&U’s link:

“…you don’t have to have this dependent, one-on-one, emotional relationship to get to know someone’s character.”

Oh, sure. It’s much better to enter into a marriage where you don’t know the person that well and have pretty much no chance of getting out of.

I wasn’t logged in, I’m Anonymous.

Exactly where in the Bible does it say there should be no dancing, drinking or mixing of the sexes?

Kevin Bacon says AHEM.

Besides, I have a twenty year old kid. And trust me, NIN is low-rent vanilla ice cream compared to what she listens to.

Is she single?

I couldn’t have told you the name of the song, but, oh yeah.

Tawny, errr, pre-mugshot, of course, was the one woman on the planet who could have asked to borrow my car and would have gotten me to buy her one.

Hell, I might have done that even after she beat up her baseball player husband.

No you’re not. I am.

Is she single?

She’s married to the Lord.

And a lesbian.

Offered without comment.

*cry* What the fuck is the point? Life can be miserable enough; don’t make it that way on purpose!

She’s married to the Lord.

And a lesbian.

I knew it! The Lord *is* a woman!

BlackBloc, I got dibs.

Oh, yawn. Like there’s never been such a thing as bawdy music before.

Hell, the Bible has the Song of Solomon and damn, if that ain’t teh hawt!

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.
I am black, but comely¹, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.

¹ VMichelleObamaR

No, I am!

VMichelleObamaR

Water came out my nose because of this.

I think my generation’s version of “Here I Go Again” were those Aerosmith videos with Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler. Although I always thought it was fucking creepy that Liv Tyler was in a sexy video for her dad’s band.

If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

Because there is no other way to account for sex in culture than God testing Christians.

Let’s just crucify them all. The Anonymi, that is.

Because there is no other way to account for sex in culture

Biology?

I think my generation’s version of “Here I Go Again” were those Aerosmith videos with Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, this…and if that makes me a dirty old man, well…

…you’re surprised?????

Because there is no other way to account for sex in culture

Biology?

Alcohol?

Biology?

NO, it’s God all the way down.

Somebody asked for fresh mangoes? And a new christianofascist euphemism “helping with the luggage”.

Back in the real world, the Times Square bomber was only a citizen for a year so let’s try him in a military court and/or just hold him indefinitely. Or, no courts, no anything(?). Let’s just toss him out of a cruising airplane.

…you’re surprised?????

Yeah, uh, no.

It caused me to have some very, uh, confused feelings at the age of 13. Especially that part in the strip club.

It caused me to have some very, uh, confused feelings at the age of 13.

Oh?

*pulling up chair*

Do tell.

“Hell, the Bible has the Song of Solomon and damn, if that ain’t teh hawt!”

But how did they get around those Leviticus prohibitions against the spilling of the seed?

Rumbold wins:

“It is clear that Rekers has baggage and certainly needs help,” said Wayne Besen, a prominent opponent of the “ex-gay” movement and director of the nonprofit Truth Wins Out.

Hilarious.

But how did they get around those Leviticus prohibitions against the spilling of the seed?

It’s only spilling if it hits the ground.

This is why Kleenex were invented.

OT, but this is the scariest thing I’ve seen all day:

“[Shahzad] has all the rights under the Constitution. We don’t shred the Constitution when it is popular. We do the right thing.”

Yeah, that’s Glenn Beck there. Glenn Fuckin’ Beck being the voice of reason.

I’m so very scared.

Yeah, that’s Glenn Beck there.

Hey Martian, got any room on that ship?

Oh?

Do tell.

I appreciate your interest, but I think this may be something I should discuss with my therapist, and not a dirty old man.

Glenn Fuckin’ Beck

DO! NOT! WANT!

this may be something I should discuss with my therapist

Does he have a newsletter? Perhaps a website?

And John Cole says: “It was Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck is now the voice of reason on the right. We’re so screwed.”

We are turning into a nation of authoritarian racists, aren’t we?

Glenn Fuckin’ Beck

DO! NOT! WANT!

Just think of it as John Glenn fucking Beck, the singer.

Wait…that’s really not any better…

Just think of it as John Glenn fucking Beck, the singer.

And thanks to THAT image, even imagining Glenn Close fucking Kate beckinsale isn’t going to interest me.

Well…maybe a little…

Hey Martian, got any room on that ship?

At this rate, I’m thinking that taking my chances with the demons couldn’t possibly be any worse than the wingnuts.

At this rate, I’m thinking that taking my chances with the demons couldn’t possibly be any worse than the wingnuts.

Hey, now! Don’t spit venom at the Big Fucking Gun!

What the fuck, homies, what the fuck? How come you’re hooking this chump up with a link to his shit while E$ is languishing completely unregarded off in some dark corner of the internet? WHY ISN’T EVERYONE IN THE WORLD READING, WATCHING, OR THINKING ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW??? This buster has, what, 18 posts in his whole life? Shit, dogg, E$ has written 18 columns and done 10 interviews before I even drive over to The French Laundry for lunch. And do I get seated without reservations? What the fuck do you think?

Linking to some freak who doesn’t even dance. Fuck that noise. If your friends don’t dance then you’re no friend of Klein.

PS YOU STILL THE MAN O-DOGG!

Oh, E$. You always make me laugh…

If your friends don’t dance then you’re no friend of Klein.

You can blow if you want to. If you don’t, nobody will.

I hope, for his sake, that this son-of-a-Beach didn’t major in math.

Nor in “correct use of apostrophes”.

But the culture of Christianity […] lay[s] substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.
There’s your problem right there. Violence and illegal behaviour drive whopping great cars and think nothing of crashing straight through the roadblocks. What you need is some of those tyre spikes, which you only get with the culture of Buddhism.

If your friends don’t dance then you’re no friend of Klein.

Can I keep his bottle?

We are turning into a nation of authoritarian racists, aren’t we?

“turning into”?

Because there is no other way to account for sex in culture

Veiled petri dish reference?

What you need is some of those tyre spikes, which you only get with the culture of Buddhism.

“And if you convert now, we have a lovely tote bag for you…”

Can I keep his bottle?

This is why I love this place. Where else but here can we discuss Christianity AND unboundaried four dimensional manifolds?

We are turning into a nation of authoritarian racists, aren’t we?

“turning into”?

Well, you know, more.

What you need is some of those tyre spikes, which you only get with the culture of Buddhism.

What is the sound of one tyre flapping?

I’m skipping all the above posts to urge one and all: LEAVE THE BOAT. THE MANGOES ARE DELICIOUS AND RIPE.

This young nitwit’s post is riddled with truly wonderful examples of horrible writing. Behold the very first two sentences:

In less than two weeks from today I will graduate from Patrick Henry College and finish four years of my undergraduate.

My undergraduate what? Oh never mind. We sort of already know.

Looking back, I can remember a lot of the typical college experiences– late night studying, spring break road trips, and nights out with your friends.

He remembers from looking back? That’s convenient. And he spent nights out with my friends! I didn’t know I had any at Patrick Henry College.

It’s all like that. Thus:

Considering that the USA Today calculated 857 college student deaths from 2000 to 2005, how does one school manage to escape unscathed?

From Google Answers: Total number of Colleges & Universities: 4084

Fully 21 percent of US colleges and universities reported college student deaths over five years. How is anyone at all left alive?

(Tip: Mangoes are great with a squeeze of lime juice.)

How are mangoes with a dash of LSD?

(Okay, so tigris got there first, with the stats. But I was just so EXCITED!)

Fully 21 percent of US colleges and universities reported college student deaths over five years. How is anyone at all left alive?

There’s only one possible answers: zombies count as two kills.

There’s only one possible answers: zombies count as two kills.

My roommate was a zombie. I killed her after she ate all my homemade fudge.

And now that fucking Safety Dance song is in my head.

Y’know, if you Google “killed her after she ate all my homemade fudge” (quote marks included), you come up with some verrrrry interesting links.

And now that fucking Safety Dance song is in my head.

Well, you CAN act real rude and totally removed…

Y’know, if you Google “killed her after she ate all my homemade fudge” (quote marks included), you come up with some verrrrry interesting links.

I’ll take your word for it. Thanks.

And now that fucking Safety Dance song is in my head.

Wha?

I was busy lookin’ at my hands.

The weird thing is that I heard that song for the first time in a couple of years when I was out on Saturday night. I only just remembered this because, well, I was a little drunk. I thought I dreamt it.

My roommate was a zombie. I killed her after she ate all my homemade fudge.

She had it coming.

She had it coming.

That’s what I said!

I was busy lookin’ at my hands.

You and everyone else.

She had it coming.

But she gets it while she can

But she gets it while she can

She should’ve gotten back.

She should’ve gotten back.

Well, with her high heel shoes and her low neck sweater, Loretta bettah.

She should’ve gotten back.

did you leave her heart in Tuscon AZ?

I’d like to say thank you on behalf of meself and the group, and I hoped we passed the audition.

Where else but here can we discuss Christianity AND unboundaried four dimensional manifolds?

ChristianMechanics.org?

But she gets it while she can

In the thick of the evening, when the dealing got rough, was she was too pat to open and too cool to bluff?

ChristianMechanics.org?

Silly boy! ChristianMechanics.com! Christians don’t have .orgs!

We are turning into a nation of authoritarian racists, aren’t we?

Bob Altemeyer has a great analysis of the “Teabaggers for Tyranny” movement, if you haven’t already seen it (“The Authoritarians”–free e-book.)

Short version: Yep, we’re flirting with fascism.

Sorry … trying to change the song since we’re on one of my least fave Beatles tunes.

But she gets it while she can

She thought she was a woman, but she was another man.

(She was working on a website and newsletter about her college roommate but tragically died before she could publish)

bah, tag fail. Imagine the first line above in italics.

In the thick of the evening, when the dealing got rough, was she was too pat to open and too cool to bluff?

I tried to give her consolation when her old man had let her down.

(She was working on a website and newsletter about her college roommate but tragically died before she could publish)

The air still redolent with homemade fudge.

ABOVE: Chris Beach (right) and Church Lady (right)

Proposed caption: Chris Beach was diagnosed with Munchausen Syndrome when it emerged that he had consulted six different doctors for 22 prostate exams within a single week.

Bob Altemeyer has a great analysis of the “Teabaggers for Tyranny” movement, if you haven’t already seen it (“The Authoritarians”–free e-book.)

Oh, thanks! I hadn’t seen that update yet.

A few months ago, Sara from Orcinus said that we haven’t arrived, but we’re in the parking lot.

bah, tag fail. Imagine the first line above in italics.

It’s, like, a MILLION times better now.

Proposed caption: Chris Beach was diagnosed with Munchausen Syndrome when it emerged that he had consulted six different doctors for 22 prostate exams within a single week.

…and not one needed to wear gloves. Go fig.

It’s only spilling if it hits the ground.

This is why Kleenex were invented.

A fact which also explains why peepshow booths have floors.

And walls.

A fact which also explains why peepshow booths have floors.

And walls.

Walls, you say?

Are other patrons required to have videocameras, too?

Who was it that said any organization with “freedom” in their name is sure to be nazis or communists?

Who was it that said any organization with “freedom” in their name is sure to be nazis or communists?

Hitler McStalin.

PeeJ and N__B have confirmed my worst suspicions about Freedom Campers.

I’ve always thought the code word was “Liberty”. Independence, American, and Constitution are also red flags. When I think of associations with “Freedom” in their name, what comes to mind are “pro-consumer” think tanks underwritten by massive conglomerates.

Looking back, I can remember a lot of the typical college experiences– late night studying, spring break road trips, and nights out with your friends

My friends? No, sorry Opie, you didn’t spend any nights with my friends. You also might try studying while you’re awake, rather than late at night. What you’ve done so far doesn’t seem to be helping you much.

My friends? No, sorry Opie, you didn’t spend any nights with my friends. You also might try studying while you’re awake, rather than late at night. What you’ve done so far doesn’t seem to be helping you much.

If our Lord wasn’t* testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of obscene English, logic and statistics classes?

*WEREN’T for God’s sake, and holy fuck WHAT’S WITH THOSE FUCKING COMMAS?

Wait. How the fuck did you find that blog post, Tintin? One doesn’t just stumble across idiotic ramblings by a hick nobody who also happens to have an embarrassingly bad music vid to serve up with it.

The odds of randomly alighting on such a rotten mango plantation are unlikely. For how long have you been stalking that Beach?

*WEREN’T for God’s sake, and holy fuck WHAT’S WITH THOSE FUCKING COMMAS?

what, do you possibly, mean? I like to ask questions of people who cannot answer. I like to say things like, say, ya know, hanging out with your friends, which, really, is more of cry for help, or something? because I don’t have, like, friends. They all died of comma poisoning.

Rotten Mango Plantation

Band name (probably best for Led Zep tribute band).
~

Critics mock us for our strict rules – like no dancing or drinking on campus, no members of the opposite sex permitted in your dorm room, nightly curfew hours – and the lack of a social atmosphere it creates. We have been the subject of books (God’s Harvard), television shows, op-eds, and countless blogs who rant against our brand of overbearing right-wing Christianity that poisons society’s freedom.

Yet, what is the cost of students being able to “express” themselves? Is that freedom worth the cost of drunk driving deaths, drug related violence, and love affairs turned fatal?

That’s funny. I attended one of the most liberal, gay-friendly campuses in Washington, DC, one that personifies everything the religious right despises about “college.” In my four years there, I can’t recall a single incident of a drunk-driving related death, drug-related violence, or love affairs turning fatal. We did have a couple fraternities that engaged in date rape and were banned from campus as a result; the only sorta-kinda dissenter was, wouldn’t you know it, our college newspaper’s fuckwad conservative columnist, who wrote the “It’s not rape she’s just drunk” column that made all these waves a month ago.

We accomplished this without banning dancing on campus, without gender-segregated dorms, without nightly curfews – we did have a dry campus policy, but I think you can imagine what a huge joke that was. Clearly, putting a Christian straight-jacket on everyone who walks in the door isn’t the only solution.

probably best for Led Zep tribute band

Squeeze my mangoes ’til my seeds spill on the ground.

They all died of comma poisoning.

The heartbreak of caesurae-asis. It’s enough to give one pause.

I went to a wacko fundamentalist liberal arts school. We weren’t allowed to drink, smoke, watch R-rated movies, dance, skip daily chapel, or be in the presence of the opposite sex without an “adult” chaperon.

I will admit that there weren’t any murders, but every year several people were expelled after being caught making out, looking at the wrong web page, smoking off campus, or being at a party. We rarely heard from these lost souls again, although sometimes horror stories were whispered around about their inevitable collapse into ruin.

Of course, if any of them ever came back to campus with a gun it would be the fault of the liberals.

The fact is, Kent State should have put an end to bad behavier on campusus. If more violent antiAmercian students had deid and the liberal media not glorified hippys over Our Troops, we would never have suffered the seventys of shame and liberalism and moral decay, I think we need some law and order back in university and no more liberal bais teaching and anti-USA thinking

Kent State should have put an end to bad behavier on campusus.

Too soon, fake Gary.

Too soon, fake Gary

Agreed. Especially for such a bad parody

Too soon, fake Gary.

Yes, it takes sixty years. I have a Hjukseb joke all ready to go.

Whole Lotta Mangoes
~

We weren’t allowed to drink, smoke, watch R-rated movies, dance, skip daily chapel, or be in the presence of the opposite sex without an “adult” chaperon.

I went to a Catlick college (long story) my first year. Weren’t allowed to have opposite sex in the dorms after… oh, 10:00 or something. My boyfriend and I often had a good chuickle over that.

Late to the party again, damnit.

All I can say is that Master Beach should tie up his hands and gag himself so the rest must no longer be put in danger of his writing or speaking.

a good chuickle

Is that some kind of position* in the Catholic hierarchy?

Or just what the kids were calling it in those days?

*insert (heh) joke here

Yes, it takes sixty years. I have a Hjukseb joke all ready to go.

The shunter who had overseen the ill-fated operation at Hjuksebø was sorrow-stricken and on sick leave after the accident. He was eventually moved to a new station where he was not put in charge of any operations with a serious safety hazard.

Compare and contrast:

Ladles and jellyspoons, British Petroleum!
~

Please tell me someone has pasted the URl of this post to Beach’s notepad.

Gary does raise the interesting point that in these campus tragedies it’s often conservatives doing the killing. I’m certainly not saying that non-conservatives are not capable of committing the same, if not worse crimes, but I’m totally saying that.

“Bonzo’s Mango”
“Mango Custard Pie”
“Mango“

I was trying to reconcile the whole “no dancing” with Beach’s membership in a fucking crappy band and then it hit me:

Eh, white people with instruments, for the most part, quit making music for dancing sometime in the early ’80s. I personally blame Black Flag. As for this kid’s band, and I say this as someone who’s seen a whole mess of really crappy two-guitar-bass-drums-shitty-lead-singer rock bands, there are four young men with no Elvis in them whatsoever.

We are turning into a nation of authoritarian racists, aren’t we?

I seem to remember a couple years in the late ’90s when we weren’t, but I was stoned pretty much of the time.

Led Zep tribute band

Dazed and Confused by the Horrible Illogic

How Many More Times Are You Going To Call Us Fascist Communists

Stairway to the Shore

Here’s some news for those who don’t read the papers.
~

“Mango“

I have a real soft spot for the slide guitar. And Mangoes.

Mangoes Last Stand
~

If our Lord wasn’t testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

I’d love to play this for him and see if his head explodes. (1935, totally NSFW unless you have headphones)

Here’s some news for those who don’t read the papers.

Equality Florida:

Rekers was one of only two witnesses Attorney General Bill McCollum called in an effort to reverse a Miami judge who ruled Florida’s adoption ban- the only one in the country- is unconstitutional.

McCollum paid Rekers and a colleague $87,000 for testimony that called gay people mentally unstable and advised that the ban should be expanded to include Native Americans because, Rekers claimed, they are also at much higher risk of mental illness and substance abuse.

Miami New Times (via thunder’s Wonkette link):

“I’d like to propose another trip to Rome, Italy, for a week or more,” Rekers wrote in an email dated March 21 obtained by New Times. “This is so exciting to have a nice Travel Assistant and traveling companion! Wow! I’m so glad I met you.”

Rekers’ exciting time with a nice Travel Assistant would be a good subject for an Internet Article.

Rekers’ exciting time with a nice Travel Assistant would be a good subject for an Internet Article.

Wasn’t he on Star Trek, The Next Generation?
~

He wanted a ban on Native Americans adopting? Holy Christ.

#

And now that fucking Safety Dance song is in my head.

In your head? This stupid thread installed it on my iPod.

Rekers’ “An Empirically Supported Rational Basis for Prohibiting Adoption, Foster Parenting and Contested Child Custody by Any Person in a Household that Includes a Homosexually-Behaving Member” (2005):

This is not basically different from denying placement in other households with structures that are not in the best interests of children. Fifteen-year-old couples, 90-year-old couples, Thai-language-only speaking couples, blind and deaf parents, households with a pedophilic-behaving adult, households with practicing criminals, households with drug dealers and drug abusers, households with unemployed adults, households that advocate the overthrow of the U.S. government, households with an active terrorist, households with sexually promiscuous unmarried men and women co-habitating and households with homosexually behaving adults all have either inherent instability or inherent disadvantage, stress, and potential harm to placed children.

Source.

Oh me oh my! I kinda figgerered there would be no way to plausibly say “I didn’t know I was getting a ManHo, when admitting that he hired the kid through rentboys.com. But sheesh, one look through rentboys.com (I did it for journalism!) and you just have to laugh. I’m stocking up on popcorn.

the culture of Christianity . . . lay[s] substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.

My mate that got three fingers & half his face blown off by an IRA nail-bomb will be greatly comforted by your pearl of wisdom, I’m sure.

Begorra & go fuck yourself.

households that advocate the overthrow of the U.S. government

No adopting for Teabaggers!

But sheesh, one look through rentboys.com (I did it for journalism!) and you just have to laugh.

Dude, the description of the site on Google reads: “Find gay escorts, male escorts, gay masseurs, male masseurs and learn how to become an escort.”

SAD.

I mean the lie, not the site itself.

Now I’m going to clear my browser history so Mr. T&U doesn’t get any ideas…

…households with an active terrorist…

What about households with a terrorist who lounges around in a recliner chair?

“Thai-language-only speaking couples”

What’s he got against Thailand? Did they arrest him soliciting a 12 year old?
That musta been a bummer, especially after paying all that money for the trip.

“Fifteen-year-old couples, 90-year-old couples, Thai-language-only speaking couples, blind and deaf parents, households with a pedophilic-behaving adult, households with practicing criminals, households with drug dealers and drug abusers, households with unemployed adults, households that advocate the overthrow of the U.S. government, households with an active terrorist, households with sexually promiscuous unmarried men and women co-habitating and households with homosexually behaving adults all have either inherent instability or inherent disadvantage, stress, and potential harm to placed children.”

Yeah, but when it comes to kids ripped from an African American/Latin American/white impoverished/American Indian household, any port in the storm will do.

States aren’t too picky about foster parents and Mr. so and so isn’t too concerned either, I’m sure.

rentboys.com

It was rentboys.CROM, a barbarian helper site.

households with unemployed adults

No stay at home parents for adoptees! Also, no deaf or blind parents? WTF? Hell, why not just go ahead and call for the sterilization of those you consider unfit to raise children?

Now I’m going to clear my browser history so Mr. T&U doesn’t get any ideas…

Tell him they have a wishlist!

What about households with a terrorist who lounges around in a recliner chair?

Hoverounds are the Panzers of teabaggofacism.

What’s he got against Thailand? Did they arrest him soliciting a 12 year old?

Who knew hiring luggage carrying services could lead to such adventures?

Woohoo, it’s like I OWN THE THREAD! Finally, Lesensraum!

Now, maybe this is just the way I’m interpreting this but “I was not involved or associated in blah blah blahty blah” seems to suggest a personal interest.

And while I imagine the ratio of college deaths has already been examined and suitably percentaged into its proper place, the amount of people at any individual college would also presumably decrease the average by which a person was personally involved in violence and/or murder.

I for instance, was not involved nor associated in murder and/or violence my entire college career. And I went to one of those shitty state-funded community colleges! Y’know, the ones where they even have to let “those people” into?

BAH!

Hoverounds are the Panzers of teabaggofacism.

Bob Somerby has (another) sad.
~

I got about 40 seconds into that … that THING … but the “Genitalia Being Slammed In A Car Door” note is where I drew the line in the bloody sand.

Yes, despite being an erstwhile fan of serial sonic offenders like Happy Flowers, Little Fyodor & Einstürzende Neubauten, I could not endure: Bloc Party is just too fucking harsh for me.

the culture of Christianity . . . lay[s] substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior

Dude, I sure hope you’re not majoring in History.

I was never involved or associated in one particular college trend in all of my four years – violence or murder.

Which is exactly what a violent murderer on campus would also say.

We have been the subject of books (God’s Harvard), television shows, op-eds, and countless blogs who rant against our brand of overbearing right-wing Christianity that poisons society’s freedom.

I admire such honesty – but it’s gotta make prosyletizing a real bitch.

“Good morning, sir! Can I talk with you about my brand of overbearing right-wing Christianity that poisons society’s freedom today?”

I’m the Associate Producer of Bill Bennett’s Morning In America. Everyday I listen to people all across America voice their opinion on the issues facing America and its future. This blog is my humble observations on the politics and culture of my generation. More than anything else, I hope to offer you, the reader, a reasoned and sensical perspective on what makes America so great and how we can keep it that way.

Sensical?

Today’s guests on “Morning In America” are Marc Thiessen, John Hinderaker & Sue Lowden. SRSLY. That’s what Guitar-Boy calls “reasoned & sensical.” I bet Moonies say pretty much the same thing about selling flowers door-to-door & sleeping in a minivan … but at least THEIR batshit-insane cult offers room-&-board.

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Yikes, even MY blog looks hawt-&-trendy compared to this – & I take childish delight in both my lethargic output & my near-total obscurity … well, at least it’s been keeping the self-righteous little beggar off the streets.

Tell him they have a wishlist!

I’m guessing they have wishbones, too.

Nobody has yet asked the obvious “How many wetsuits does this clown have in his closet?” question.

I mean that in relation to Beach, not Reker, though it’s a valid question either way.

households with unemployed adults
Also households with apostrophe abusers.

LEAVE THE BOAT. THE MANGOES ARE DELICIOUS AND RIPE.
Coincidentally, “Mango” is the Maori word for ‘shark’.

The fact is, Kent State should have put an end to bad behavier on campusus

First!

What is that music supposed to be?

I think they call it ‘Christian rock music.’

Back in the 70’s, we called it ‘really shitty rock music.’

Were conservatives always nuts? I was once conservative. Was I nuts? I question.

I was once conservative. Was I nuts? I question.

Yep. Welcome back to the sentients.
~

P.S.
~

Feels good, Thunder.

Okay, fine. I attended a Christian college and, fuck all, I even took classes with Bill Bennett. My school was maybe 5 times larger than PHC but, as far as I know, no student got murdered or suicided. Yup, even with Bill Bennett hanging around. My school was unpleasant, repressed, and anti-intellectual but bong hits, dancing, and sex helped make it a more humane place. Oh, sweat baby jesus, Bill Bennett. I haven’t thought about Bennett in years. (No, I don’ t watch the Sunday talk shows.) He “taught” a class but only after making sure it was a lecture only class with, essentially, no student questions allowed. This was back when he was at the NEH. He tried waltzing to a regular class situation but the students–even Christian, southern, ‘tards, ate him alive by asking, doh, real questions that he couldn’t answer–so he reconfigured his deal and “taught” the lecture parts of several classes, leaving the actual classes to the resident faculty. Those lectures were only tolerable only after multiple bong hits for sanity and then some speed to stay awake. I’m pretty sure someone passed me a flask during one of his lectures, a first, for me, at that school. Oh, and his lectures were stuff like “Becoming a Moral Person in the Secular Academy” (right, okay, fine, this was, as I said, a Christian college and that class he was supposed to be teaching was titled something like Roman History). I’ll stop ranting but I’d like to point out that Beach has problems far more serious than lame guitar chops and being enrolled at PHC if he’s hanging out with Bill Bennett.

I can’t get over sweat baby jesus. that’s one weird doll idea.

I find it surprising how many of us commie pinko bastards attended Christian colleges, but I suppose that’s the reason why we’re commie pinko bastards. For the record, I am happily living a lascivious and decadent lifestyle at the University of Missouri, on the backs of the taxpayers of that fine state.

actor212 said,

This is why I love this place. Where else but here can we discuss Christianity AND unboundaried four dimensional manifolds?

Please. Unoriented.

FYWP

Please. Unoriented.

Pedantic note:

Non-oriented, but unboundaried.

Via Crooked Timber watch David Frum make Jonah Goldberg squirm.

I can’t get over sweat baby jesus. that’s one weird doll idea.

On my wishlist!

I am happily living a lascivious and decadent lifestyle at the University of Missouri, on the backs of the taxpayers of that fine state.

Oh, hey, me too! And they pay me to “work.”

Spaghetti Lee said [sic]:

For the record, I am happily living a lascivious and decadent lifestyle at the University of Missouri, on the backs of the taxpayers of that fine state.

I’m not paying you to post shit on the intratubes. Shouldn’t you be in class or something?

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!

😉

actor212 said,

May 5, 2010 at 15:14 (kill)

Please. Unoriented.

Pedantic note:

Non-oriented, but unboundaried.

I saw that, but didn’t want to say anything to harsh your mellow.

I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
— Rev. Jerry Falwell

Secular schools can never be tolerated because such a school has no religious instruction and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith…. We need believing people.
— Adolf Hitler, April 26, 1933