The Rich Deserve Every Cent They Earn
Posted on April 12th, 2010 by Tintin
Jean-David Ruisseaux, Self Portrait with Pretty Hat
(c. 1776) (crayola on white drywall)
David Brooks, The New York Times
Redefining What It Means to Work Hard
- Yay Duke! It’s nice to see the rich win for a change. Poor people are just a bunch of losers. And they’re poor because they’re just a bunch of lazy sumbitches that don’t work as hard as the rich, who slave away 60 hours per week or more in their executive suites. The rich even work on the way home by making phone calls in their cars and thinking about corporate strategy and stuff. The poor, however, work only 40 hours per week (or less) at such cushy jobs as shelling crabs, collecting garbage, loading delivery trucks, etc., etc.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Yeah those slacker coal miners leaning on a shovel while the hard-working CEO is hard at work using his hard earned money to buy a hard-working judge. Just makes you wanna kick a crippled person, don’t it?
Taibbi teed off on this bullshit yesterday.
I hope to someday meet Brooks so I can give him the cock-punching he so richly deserves.
The real heart of the issue here is not “how many hours” X works, but what kind of reward they gain. Your average CEO may put in 60 – 80 hours per week, but he’s also the master of his domain, and a 12-hour workday isn’t nearly so hard when you can schedule a leisurely 2-hour lunch or what have you. And the general level of stress for the guy pulling down several hundred thou per year (and up) who works those long hours is nothing compared to the stress regular working people face every day – CEO dude has either a stay at home wife or nanny (or both) looking after the kiddos while average people search long and hard for an affordable and safe place to deposit the kiddos while they go to slave away for the “productive” class. If the kids are older, CEO dude doesn’t have to spend a lot of time worrying about the shitty and/or dangerous public school they attend, because they don’t attend public school. Gas going up $1 or $2 per gallon doesn’t touch him, he’s never laid awake at night worrying about how one bout of ill health could bankrupt the family or praying that the 15 year old car will make it through another few months.
Plenty of people in this country work those hours and longer while having to deal with all the worries above.
Brooks’ fantasy “productive class” isn’t pulling down the kind of money they make because of all the hours they work or because they themselves are so very productive, but because they’re profiting from the labor of all the wage serfs to whom they pay shit wages – wages which could be increased anywhere from 20-50% without putting a dent in the life of ease these greedy motherfuckers are living.
This is the sort of thing that makes me wish there were some way to put Brooks on a work gang for even a few hours. Not because it would improve him personally, but because he might get hurt.
Gosh, it’s a wonder the rich don’t all just Go Galt. Oh yeah, that would mean they actually buy the manure Brooks is tossing to throw the scent off their path…
Gail Collins at least is wise to how Brooks is trying to change the subject. And she at least points out to Bobo that 60 hours dictating orders to your assistant is far less work than 40 hours making sense of those freaking orders.
Brooks has bothered me for years now. If he really ran his own life with the sort of illogic he displays in his columns, he’d be living in a box in an alley behind the Times, swallowing crayons to send in his columns in multi-colored feces.
But he does not. So instead he must know on some level these ridiculous comparisons are false. In the above column Gail so collapses one of his assumptions that he doesn’t even challenge it – he just shifts subjects.
If an ideology requires you make arguments which don’t match reality – why would you keep that ideology?? Wouldn’t you change your ideology so it DOES match the facts? So you don’t have to compartmentalize and dodge and weave and do all the other rhetorical crap he has to do just to sound like a halfway reasonable apologist?
I just don’t understand it.
But someone should totally cockpunch him. On that there is no question.
“David Brooks: Yes. I was going to say that for the first time in human history, rich people work longer hours than middle class or poor people. How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious? ”
My God, it’s full of stars.
Another vote for the cockpunch.
Yep, that’s pretty much it. The scariest part is that Brooks probably considers himself part of the productive class.
To be fair, Collins spanks him quite hard, and let’s face it, if Gail Collins is doing the spanking, you’re a pretty abject excuse for a man.
Cockpunch!!
“‘Kill the Brooks! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!'”
– William Karl Golding-Marx, The Proletariat Dictatorship of the Flies, Ch. 9
OT, but the British just passed an awesome new law that lets government cut off your internet access on mere suspicion of downloading copyrighted material. Also apparently you can pass a law in British parlament with barely any MPs present during vote. Didn’t know that, sounds like a great system to me.
Also, too, John Derbyshire telling a law school group that he ain’t gonna talk about why the damn Negro types is doin’ worse in school and jobs without also explainin’ that the blacks is just inferior, ’cause of the genetics and Africa & whatnot.
‘So, why don’t all you dumb a** n****** stop whinin’ about how you’re too dumb to study & stuff, and just focus on the tiny minority of blacks which got half a brain, and let the rest just run fast in the Olympics or play their basketball or whatever it is those breed animals do.’
By the way — this crack smoking notion that there is a “universal constant of American sociology” suggesting that blacks are simply proven over and over to be less intelligent is another fantasy of right wing glib science, where you just try to declare stuff authoritatively ’cause there’s this dude you know.
Oops. http://www.johnderbyshire.com/Opinions/HumanSciences/upennlaw.html>Here is the link to Derbyshire’s awesomely scientistic rant to them damn darkies what play dressup as lawyers, with their congotive inferiorities and all.
Oops twice. Here is the link, FYWP, et al.
FUNNIEST THING EVVVAH David Brooks, Knob Jockey extrardinnare was on the Newshour, with mark Shields talking about the marine corps in Iraq, Both Jim and Mark said for disclosure they had served in the Marines themselves, then with smirks on their faces they asked Brooks if he had, Oh fuck me that was some funny shit.
“I hope to someday meet Brooks so I can give him the cock-punching he so richly deserves.”
With luck, you’ll be first in line, because that queue is gonna circumnavigate the globe at least fifty times…
Y’all just jealous ’cause conservatives know how to be real sociologists & stuff, ’cause they quote people & whatnot.
“The National Review’s resident white supremacist intellectual John Derbyshire was invited by the Black Law Student Association at UPenn Law School to speak about government’s role in addressing racial disparities in education and employment.”
And that was their first mistake. See, you wouldn’t have this problem at an HBCU, for no organization in its right mind wants to give students a reason to protest–or the even-more-ferocious alumni a reason to ring the president’s phone off the hook and withhold donations. One of the reasons Clarence Thomas is such an angry dude is because he has never been invited to speak/whatever at the kind of prestigious HBCU events that Thurgood Marshall was regularly welcomed to.
Those damned lazy poor people.
That’s why it’s their own consarned fault that the bottom 50% own 2.5% of the nation’s wealth.
The top 1% owns 33.8% of the nation’s wealth, the next 9 of the top 10% own 37.7% of the wealth and so naturally the top 10% must work harder just to count their 71.5% cut of the pie.
The middle 40% own some of the wealth, but not being rich, I’m just to lazy to figure it out. Now, I have to toddle down to the quickiemart and see if I can buy some more Cheetos with my food stamps.
Oh, a magazine fell open and out of the corner of my lazy eye I see that the 51-89 percentile owns 26% of the pie. Pie. Mmmm. More pie.
If the top 1% of income earners owns about 34% of the wealthy, this must mean that these individuals must be working hundreds of thousands of hours per week, just to stay in place.
How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?
In a perfect world, Gail Collins would have replied, “Atlas Shrugged”.
One time, due to a mind-boggling set of circumstances that would be worthy of an independent film, I had to do community service in Basking Ridge, NJ.
Basking Ridge was a very very wealthy town, and so their community service was run part-time by a very wealthy man – because he needed something to do with his free time. He was only the president of 3 companies.
Companies aren’t run by the CEO’s. They collect paychecks and create directions which everyone else has to then make work. So companies are team efforts, but not in typical boss-speak terms; it’s often a team trying very hard to counteract the terrible ideas an out-of-touch has mandated.
As for this guy, he tried to get me to come in when I didn’t have to. I said no, and it rattled him so much he actually called the cops, who then sided with me. As he couldn’t have someone around who successfully said no to him, he signed off on the rest of my community service hours one week later.
Hey, it’s my thirty-fifth birthday and if you want to do me a solid, beat David Brooks’ ass for me. Hell, you ain’t even got to have a special reason to do so.
How is this as an experiment:
Find a coal miner, and the CEO. Have the switch jobs. The hours worked, and the salary per hour stay the same. That is, if the CEO worked 60 hours a week and made $20 million, he still will if he works 60 hours a week in the mine. Conversely, the coal miner will still earn his/her same wage per hour doing the CEO’s job.
My guess is that the CEO will cut WAY back on his hours in the mine, while the coal miner will choose to spend a lot more time in the executive office than he did in the mine.
Imagine you’re kicking back on a beach with a nice cool beer, weather perfect, totally relaxed, and someone comes up to you and says, “hey, you want to come do a job for me? I’ll pay you $10.” You’d likely say, “nope, $10 isn’t worth me giving up this awesome day at the beach.” But, if that person suddenly offers you $10,000 you’ll probably jump up and ask, “when can I start?”
This is because people constantly make a trade off between free time and the money they could otherwise earn by working. An hour with the family might be worth way more to you than the $10 an hour WalMart offers you, but you might be swayed into spending less time with them if you’re getting a CEO’s salary for those hours. This is a feature of even the most simplest econ 101 models.
And, let us not forget that many poor people hard up for cash desperately want more hours but their employer doesn’t always give it to them (and sometimes purposely so to avoid the benefits that come with full-time employment or the cost of over-time pay).
In short, David Brooks obviously did not think much about this at all.
The poor also work, as he has noticed, maintaining the salad bar at Applebees.
because he might get hurt
He’d sprain every muscle in his soft, non-Marine body., & probably chop off his toes if you gave him a shovel.
And what’s all this “cockpunching” stuff? Why would you want your hands near that, closed fist or not?
We must stand up for the old values, people, it’s a knee or foot to the testicles!!
I vote for the cockpunch, but only if it’s delivered with a sledgehammer, followed by several bricks to the face, followed by throwing him off a cliff.
Matt Taibbi’s takedown of this is great: http://trueslant.com/matttaibbi/2010/04/10/brooks-let-them-eat-work/
I’m with Scott, cock punching aint enough, it has to be a fully fledged kick in the nuts, like these ones you see in bar brawls. The kind of ones where the colour just drains from the victims face, and he either sobers up, throws up or faints (sometimes all three). Talking shit should have consequences.
On a side note, why does every god damn US commentator need to connect his sorry bullshit with fucken basketball at this time of year. Its a lame sport, and the related sporting metaphors are pretty lame too. Hugh Hewitt is a particular offender in this regard, but there are also some on the left who need to take a long hard look at themselves.
Just say no to Basketball metaphors, that what i say!
The problem with the cockpunch idea is going to be finding the actual target. I’m thinking that won’t be so easy.
A side note. Driving home yesterday I was passed by a bright yellow Dodge Viper. The fat old guy driving it had a horribly ugly toupee and was dressed in a sad attempt to look twenty-something. But the punchline was the vanity plate. VPR1
Just say no to Basketball metaphors, that what i say!
I agree, swish, you hit nothing but net with that one!
Oh look. It’s not just that the rich work harder. They are also better parents:
I was fascinated by how parental time correlates to education. Is it possible that college-educated parents are spending more time passing down their advantages than other parents? Could it be that the rich replicate themselves by dint of hard work and parental attention, on top of all the other less worthy advantages?
Maybe the wealthier folk in this world have more time to spend with their children because, you know, they don’t have to work crappy shifts and weekends and third jobs and other stuff that gets in the way of those times you could spend with your family. What gets to Brooks’ rotten core is his sense that everyone has the same choices in life. That if only the poor chose to work harder and chose to spend more time with their children, how much better this world would be.
One day perhaps, someone can produce a study showing the correlation of choice to wealth. Between that and a good cockpunching, Brooks might get a proper education.
The problem with the cockpunch idea is going to be finding the actual target. I’m thinking that won’t be so easy.
One must try repeatedly, over and over.
One of David Brooks’ shittier little tricks is to pivot whenever he wants from pretending to be some sort of untrained sociologist to that of first time speculative philosopher.
So, he cites a few statistics culled from those who study these things, and then, of course, fails to ask, ‘Hey, have you guys studied what tends to make rich people rich and unrich people unrich?’
That’s so he then can give the “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” infomercial.
One must try repeatedly, over and over.
With a sledgehammer.
One of David Brooks’ shittier little tricks is to pivot…
Also known as masturbation with correlation.
Maybe David Brooks & John Derbyshire can both hold a discussion of how they’re wondering who’s more at fault for annoying rich people, poor lazy schlubs in general, or ignorant genetically inferior blacks in particular?
Are people non-rich because of biology, or because of culture? Ask the experts!
Are people non-rich because of biology, or because of culture? Ask the experts!
I thought this question had already been resolved.
At least Brooks gives props to William Howard Taft, the original Round Mound of Rebound.
… to wrench me out of my fiscal funk last week, you allowed me to talk about sports and sex…
If anyone but a woman said this to me, I would leave the room. If Dawid Bwooks opened a discussion like this, I leave the room, then come back and punch him. You know where.
Where’s his proof that “the rich” work vastly longer hours than the poor or middle class? The only data on this are individual survey responses, and, according ot the Economic Policy Institute, they show that the top 20% have historically (the last 30 years at least) worked about 3-4 hours per week longer than the middle quintiles, but almost the entirety of that difference is because the working and middle classes are far more likely than the professional class to be limited to part-time employment.
We’ve all so bought into the myth that some class of people called “the rich” do something comparable to “work” for 60-80 hours a week that it’s accepted as a given (even by Taibbi and people here) when it’s not at all true.
Nor does any of this even take into account that the top 20% is the only group whose income hasn’t declined in the last 30 years, and the income of the top 1% has increased astronomically.
As for Gail, she’s just spiteful…
And David, he likes to exaggerate..
[emphasis mine]
Was there a helicopter gunship outside of Nationals Park mowing down cameramen and civilians on opening day?!? I would imagine that would’ve been on the news.
“Jean-David Ruisseaux” Man, that is pure genius!
Nor does any of this even take into account that the top 20% is the only group whose income hasn’t declined in the last 30 years, and the income of the top 1% has increased astronomically.
With comments like this, R. Porrofatto, you should watch your back.
Monday morning begins as usual, with the question, “Is Douthat’s or Brooks’ column stupider this week?” This week, Brooks wins.
Typically, Douthat’s column could be titled “Why Catholicism is Scientifically Valid Compared to a Fictional Religion in a Fictional Movie I Saw,” while this week’s column is devoted to determining which of the two most recent popes is the slightly less evil. A worthy topic, but do we really need to decide? Can’t they both be put on the fast track to sainthood? In Bennie the Ratz’s case, it would involve his untimely death, or perhaps a death is turning out to be a little less untimely every day. But to quote Douthat, “Santo subito!” — Sainthood now!
And yet the prize for stupidest column of the week still goes to Brooks for finding found a new way to be stupid, invented all by himself: The hardness of work can be measured solely in the number of hours worked, including business lunches, golf outings, and thwarting safety inspections. It has nothing to do with the number of barges toted or bales lifted, whether in stifling heat or fetid mines.
Yeah, he’s also lying. I mean, discounting the very likely possibility that he’s making this shit up on the fly, it’s impossible for a group to “be more productive and work longer hours” while simultaneously “spending more time with their kids”.
What he’s doing if he’s using studies at all is half-reading them to get to the point where the hours worked look greater for the upper class because the lower classes have a greater likelihood of being worked part-time because then the companies don’t have to extend them a variety of benefits and protections given to full-time workers. These same studies often lack a strong source for salaried people’s hours and so have to rely on self-report (tends to be exaggerated).
Now, what the actual sociologists have found regarding this is that poor people end up having to get several of these part time jobs just to pay rent, whereas the rich tend to engage in some very suspect hourly billing practices such as “thinking about a client while masturbating in the shower” being billable hours “working on a project” or billing 4 clients for an hour of work all done in the same hour.
Rich people also have less commuting time compared to poor people so they have fewer “wasted hours” just spent getting to and from their jobs.
But yeah, the whole thing is disgusting even without that knowledge. The income disparity in this country is approaching the levels of third world if it hasn’t reached it already. The minimum wage isn’t actually enough to survive on for the most part and the rich have actively blocked most attempts to construct a social safety net.
It’s approaching the point that unless CEOs personally run every aspect of their company personally, they in no way “deserve” the level of compensation they receive compared to their workers or the shitty attitude they display to their fellow citizens.
The hardness of work can be measured solely in the number of hours worked, including business lunches, golf outings, and thwarting safety inspections.
What part of “earned” don’t you understand? If it weren’t for the poor, who would the rich have to exploit. It’s all part of the Grand Plan; or as I call it “profit motive”.
Monday morning begins as usual, with the question, “Is Douthat’s or Brooks’ column stupider this week?”
Grappling with questions like this is what David Brooks calls “hard work”.
Skimmed through Douther’s effort, the shorter as I read it was, “If only Ratzo could do miracles, then people would understand”.
A lot of lower income people would like to work longer hours, but employers like Walmart have for years been following an agressive strategy shifting employees from full time to part time, and reducing benefits:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/02/business/02walmart.html
Any time an employee spends not working is profit he is depriving his poor, suffering boss of. How fucking selfish! What ingrates!
A lot of lower income people would like to work longer hours, but employers like Walmart have for years been following an agressive strategy shifting employees from full time to part time, and reducing benefits:
DING DING DING DING!
Also, this motherfucker can go fuck himself. Has he ever even had a job–not a career, a fucking JOB???
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™
So David Bobo Brooks doesn’t think manual labor is work? I can’t wait for his reaction to the first time he has to haul his own trash to a dump.
This is the sort of thing that makes me wish there were some way to put Brooks on a work gang for even a few hours.
Fuck that, he’d crack if he had to open the door to his building instead of his doorman.
Has he ever even had a job
Does becoming “conservative” after receiving a job with with the National Review count? Oh, wait he abandoned liberalism after “coming to his senses.” I think the paycheck had more to do with it.
The problem with the cockpunch idea is going to be finding the actual target. I’m thinking that won’t be so easy.
A big enough fist is what’s required. It’s like bombing a city: you can send in targeted smart bombs to take out the targets you really want to get, or you can carpet-bomb the crap out of it or drop one huge nuke and accomplish the same thing.
Since the collateral damage to Brooks intestines and urethra would be as effective as the direct impact to his teeny peeny, I vote “Nuke the bastard”.
Ahem.
Ahem.
That’s pretty much perfect.
he’d crack if he had to open the door to his building instead of his doorman.
But, actor, what if he was to hurt his wrist opening this door? How would he ever pen these wistfully moronic columns? How could we live without comments like:
Sometimes, success derives from screwing people over (miners, for instance). Or, as dickipedia has illustrated, from lying and smiling.
*headdesk*
Women of the Gilded Age were very poor compared to women today. But from a libertarian standpoint, they were freer than they are on Sex and the City.
But, actor, what if he was to hurt his wrist opening this door? How would he ever pen these wistfully moronic columns?
He could take Pinch Sulzberger’s dick out of his mouth and use a stylus like every other quadriplegic fuckhead.
But from a libertarian standpoint, they were freer than they are on Sex and the City.
Bryan Caplan sounds like he’s wasted many a Kleenex box on Ayn Rand.
How could they be freer? They couldn’t even buy Jimmie Choos!
Also, did you know that there are NO black, Jewish, or gay women out there? NONE!
But from a libertarian standpoint, they were freer than they are on Sex and the City.
He’s got a point. I mean, those women in the Temperance Movement had more freedom (read: apple martinis) than you could shake a stick* at.
*VPR
J— is on the case.
J— is on the case.
Along with some frilly items from mother’s closet.
J— is on the case.
What???? I’m sorry, I fell asleep for a moment.
Seriously, nothing more boring than some libertarian dude jerking off to his own ideological decay.
And let’s not overlook the stress factor: The CEO of Massey Energy needs to worry about whether his mines will be damaged by explosions in a manner that is not cost-efficient, given offsetting savings from evading regulation.
T&U
Uhhhhhh.
I can’t. I’m sorry, it’s just too easy of a lob, I keep falling asleep before it reaches the plate.
Maybe, eyelids so heavy…
Freedom isn’t free?
Ugh, collapsing from easiness, wiffed foul ball, tell my partner I love her.
Yes, because we all know that the reason the rich are so rich have nothing whatsoever to do with GOP (and Brooks’ supported) policies that ensure the rich get richer while the poor and middle class’ share of the income is just a pittance. They just work harder than those damn lazy people!
And millions of middle class people have in no way at all been duped into thinking tax cuts for rich people will benefit them. Because they’d have to be clinically fucking retarted to think that.
Just because this link proves otherwise means nothing.
All that other stuff has just got to be true — I read it in the New York Times, after all …
J— is on the case
J— has always demonstrated a similar grasp for the underlying bullshit that many here on S,N! have.
I still love the idea that by denying women a basic civil liberty, the right to a legal and legitimate expression of their point of view, somehow they were free.
Freedom isn’t free?
Oh, but they could totes get a pre-nup that stipulates that their husbands weren’t supposed to rape them!
Has anyone yet mentioned the sack tap? More than the violent blow to the danglers, the sack tap gets that whole-body, cringing reaction with the knees flung together, hands hooked up at shoulders, squinchy-face, and lurch backwards, yet is only a little painful. So without warning, three minutes later, you plant the old working-class boot right in there, sure — but the “tap” puts him on edge, perspiring and trembling, for the duration betwixt.
Some scallawag would post at Caplan’s “Abstimmen macht frei” if they were so inclined.
One thing that I haven’t seen mentioned it is, low-wage jobs often don’t have the right to dictate how much they work, while the captains of industry do. If you work at a Borders or a Target or for UPS or whatever, your boss tells you to work a shift of length X, because they agreed to pay you X*(hourly rate), and you do. If it’s super-busy at the end of your shift, you may stay longer because you can’t get away, but that ain’t guaranteed.
People in salaried jobs can choose to work X+4 if they want, but if you’re on an hourly rate you don’t have much of a say in the matter. Just another reason why Brooks is full of shit.
but the “tap” puts him on edge, perspiring and trembling, for the duration betwixt.
An old man is sitting on a bench by a golf course, bag of clubs next to him.
Out walks Phil Mickelson, about to play a practice round. The old man pipes up and says “I can kick your ass in golf.”
Mickelson, always one to grind a nutcase into the ground accepts the challenge.
“But,” the old man goes on to say, “I get two ‘gimmedats’.”
Mickelson thinks for a minute, figures he’s the Masters champ so why not.
“OK, you’re on. I’ll tee off first.”
Mickleson steps to the tee and pulls his club back when the guy pulls a vise grip out of his bag and squeezes his nuts hard. “GIMMEDAT!” the old man screeches.
Back in the club house, Mickelson explains how he shot the worst round of his life waiting for the second “gimmedat”…
low-wage jobs often don’t have the right to dictate how much they work
Or worse, as happened at Wal-Mart in one famous case, they have to work X hours of overtime without pay, which means the hours don’t get clocked.
I still love the idea that by denying women a basic civil liberty, the right to a legal and legitimate expression of their point of view, somehow they were free.
Oh, don’t be silly! Women became one with their husbands, with whom they *always* agree, so they totally got to weigh in on the political process!
Can we also talk about the fallacy that most women had a “choice” to get married or not? Aside from the social stigma, the economic benefits of being married often outweighed the right to property.
*headdesk*
If you’d just put on a hoop skirt with bustle, you’d feel much better.
actor212-
It gets even hmm… (funnier is a word, yes?) in that not only were women blocked out of voting and anything akin to sexual equality was decades away from even starting to be on the table, but women were still legally property in many ways including being blocked from rights of ownership or rights to their own money legally in many areas until midway to most-way through the Gilded Age and practically until the Women’s Rights Movements of the 60s and 70s.
This is even more (I again have heard of this word funny, even though I do not understand what it means) when you note that libertarians only care about rights to property and that’s exactly what many women were denied for most of the Gilded Age (though they had full rights to be the property of their fathers and eventually their husbands).
But again, the bad logic and easy lobs are quickly draining my blood levels. Blood sugar is near zero, need emergeny mangos. NOOooo. Those aren’t mangos. Blurbble glargh!
Gosh, it’s a wonder the rich don’t all just Go Galt. Oh yeah, that would mean they actually buy the manure Brooks is tossing to throw the scent off their path…
I think this is an interesting point: not even the people Brooks is tongue-bathing buy this crap. Even the people who do work longer hours don’t really think they work “harder” than people being paid less, and most of them would admit(some might require pressing, but the honest ones admit it up front) the huge role good luck plays in worldly success.
Caplan has a graphic novel entitled Amore Infernale, which I’ve downloaded—God only knows why—but haven’t started reading yet. Like his intellectual autobiography (read the Whole Thing to see how his views of Rand have changed over the years) it’s available at his U-G-L-Y web page.
If David Brooks wishes hard enough, maybe the rising tide of rage against our criminally unequal system of rewards and privilege will just go away.
Women became one with their husbands
As my self-written vows said, YOU WILL BE ABSORBED.
If you work at a Borders or a Target or for UPS or whatever, your boss tells you to work a shift of length X, because they agreed to pay you X*(hourly rate), and you do.
Exactly. And places like Wal-Mart are continuously cutting back employees’ hours because a) they don’t want to provide benefits, and b) they’ve made the economic calculus that no matter how horribly they treat their employees, there will still be someone to take that shitty fucking job.
Hell, in retail environments, not only are people not allowed to set their own schedules, but their schedules change from week to week. AND a lot of retail places won’t hire you or will only hire you for a few hours a week if your availability isn’t completely open for them to schedule whenever they want. They’ll also give you 10 hours one week and 38 hours the next, which is tough enough on a college student, much less a mother living paycheck to paycheck.
Thanks for the kind words, actor212. I just don’t take these people too seriously.
As my self-written vows said, YOU WILL BE ABSORBED
19th Century marriage was a Borg tampon.
More to the point, per Brooks:
Lazy work — toiling in a coal mine that collapses on top of you
Hard work — brainstorming the corporate PR spin on a bunch of workers killed in your coal mine
An hour at a meeting counts as an hour of work. Blue collar workers are rarely assigned to meeting attendance. Someone who attends their workplace for fifty hours in a week, of which fifteen hours are attending meetings, works harder than someone working fourty hours per week on a factory floor. This is the the truism of management.
but women were still legally property in many ways including being blocked from rights of ownership or rights to their own money legally in many areas until midway to most-way through the Gilded Age and practically until the Women’s Rights Movements of the 60s and 70s.
Spousal rape wasn’t illegal in North Carolina until 1993. I know that in the 70s, there were STILL women whose paychecks were made out in their husbands’ names. I guess they should have gotten pre-nups?
19th Century marriage was a Borg tampon.
True, but not Borg. The worshipers of Landrew.
You rang?
And what’s all this “cockpunching” stuff? Why would you want your hands near that, closed fist or not?
That’s a good point. You should call somebody with tougher feet than mine (no hooves on an alpaca!) Or maybe Jumbojunko the Junk-stomping Elephant is free.
it’s available at his U-G-L-Y web page.
I haven’t seen color combinations like that since psylocibin.
Lazy work — toiling in a coal mine that collapses on top of you
Hard work — brainstorming the corporate PR spin on a bunch of workers killed in your coal mine
So an honest day’s work is sloth but a day’s work of DIShonesty is hard?
Y’know, I think he might have a point: making up shit is hard werk!
This is the the truism of management.
There are others:
Freedom is slavery.
Human beings are fungible.
Labor costs are wasted money.
I’m not that familiar with Gail Collins’ work, but not only am I not impressed with her crack at Obama’s pitching skills, I’m even less impressed that she saw fit to sit with David Brooks and not follow every one of his sentences with, “Dude, are you just plain fucked in the head? Is that your problem?” There’s judicious restraint, and there’s helping to legitimize some fool by failing to slap the teeth out of his head when you’re given the opportunity.
Someone who attends their workplace for fifty hours in a week, of which fifteen hours are attending meetings
Only 15 hours a week??? Damn, academia kicks private industry’s ass on that front. My boss racks up at least that much meeting time by Wednesday.
Incidentally, and again, Jonah-like, I can’t be arsed to do all the comment reading necessary to figure it out for myself, but has anybody above observed yet that one reason the “hours worked” paradigm falls apart is because so many people have two jobs?
The stats break down like this: wealthy CEO works 60 hours a week, staggers home so tired he can barely fuck his kids’ au pair. Meanwhile, a Wal-Mart greeter, a waitress at Applebees, and a steam press operator at a dry cleaners’ work 30, 35, and 20 hours a week, respectively. The reason the statistics don’t work once you get past the uppermost tier of numbers is the same individual often holds all three of the latter jobs.
Interesting variation: I’m in the arts. I have a day job doing design and illustration, and in the evenings I write novels. Dream jobs, right? The argument I get from Brooks types about how “yeah but you get to do something totally fun, if I did that I’d work 80 hours a week too” doesn’t work then, either — after all, prostitutes get to fuck all day long, and yet all they do is complain. I make a living, but it isn’t ample.
If I was in Brooks’ position, scribbling an ill-considered 750 words of rubbish (2 hours’ work) to be published in one of the world’s most famous publications, then spent the remainder of my time going from speaking engagement to speaking engagement with a wheelbarrow my clients filled with gold coins, and as a hobby I knocked out a few television appearances each week, I guess I might also confuse the price of success with the cost of toil.
I’m still scratching my head that these rich people of Brooks’ fevered imagination manage to work longer hours than everybody else AND spend more time with their kids. Do they live in a pocket universe where time flows differently?
My suspicions is that Brooks found these “facts” pinned to the sneezeguard at the Applebee’s he visits in his opium dreams.
I was gonna say…where IS that cock-punching alpaca when you need him?
How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?
Simple.
The rich have more at stake in their company’s fortune now, since the wage differential has created a massive gulf between the rich and middle classes AND the middle classes are less willing to sacrifice their personal lives for the sake of a corporation that’s willing to shed them like so much excess avoirdupois at the drop of a dividend.
In other words, the work the rich are doing more of is stuff they would have off-loaded onto their assistants and staff previously, but can’t find qualified people who are willing to buy into the corporate bullshit they pass off as “benefits” or “experience”.
And that analysis is even allowing that Brooks’ observation has any truth to it whatsoever, a concept highly in doubt as demonstrated by the comments here.
scribbling an ill-considered 750 words of rubbish (2 hours’ work)
Hey! That’s including bathroom breaks, coffee, nose-picking and downloading kiddie porn! It’s really only setting his NaturallySpeaking software and rambling on for fifteen minutes that generates the actual output.
Not to mention it would work much like a personal airbag keeping your head well away from the desk.
Ooh I got one:
War is peace. (Orwell)
Straight out of the Fascist’s Population Control Field Manual, Vol2, 2nd Edition, 1984.
Not to mention it would work much like a personal airbag keeping your head well away from the desk.
I guess. It would work even better to prevent *assdesk*.
The rich allow the poor to eat so much cake that the poor get fat and lazy.
Oh, a magazine fell open and out of the corner of my lazy eye I see that the 51-89 percentile owns 26% of the pie. Pie. Mmmm. More pie.
That’s not even the most stunning statistic. There’s this one from a few years back: the bottom 40% of Americans own less than 1/2 of 1% of the wealth in the country.
That means pretty much everyone earning $40K and below.
One-half of one percent.
It would work even better to prevent *assdesk*.
Chastity belt for the workplace. I could have used one of those a few years back.
Chastity belt for the workplace. I could have used one of those a few years back.
You’re saying a secretary bent you over a copy machine?
You’re saying a secretary bent you over a copy machine?
Veiled duplicated PENIS reference.
If you’d just put on a hoop skirt with bustle, you’d feel much better.
Not to mention it would work much like a personal airbag keeping your head well away from the desk.
Yeah, but how do I reach the keyboard then? It’s not like I’m doing actual *work*, but I’d at least like to pretend.
Yeah, but how do I reach the keyboard then?
Type with your toes. You are barefoot, yes?
Fixed.
We have labor-saving mechanization for greater productivity now.
If all the damn lazy poor would finally learn how to pick their asses up off the sidewalk and really really work hard like top executives, we’d finally have a society composed of all executives and we wouldn’t need lazy low level stupid workers any more.
You’re saying a secretary bent you over a copy machine?
She had a talent for dictation.
Type with your toes. You are barefoot, yes?
No, but I’m wearing mutilating, patriarchy-compliant high heels. Does that count? Maybe I can type with their pointed toes of cult femininity?
I remember about 10 years ago UPS went on strike. The main complaint was that the company was getting rid of full time employess and hiring more and more part time employess. An agreement was reached in which UPS promised to give a large number of part time employees full time status if volume remained the same or higher. Well, a year later the companies profits increased considerably, but when it came time to keep their promise we learned that the company officials had redefined “volume” and under the new definition volume was down and none of the promises were kept. Yeah, the poor and middle class are just too lazy to work hard enough to get rich and the rich have to put in all those extra hours thinking up ways to keep them poor and lazy.
Yeah, but how do I reach the keyboard then?
Silly feminist! You are not supposed to be typing. You must stay away from the dangerous intertubes. No place for a woman dontcha know?
No, but I’m wearing mutilating, patriarchy-compliant high heels.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
But I thought typing was one of the things I was supposed to do! This is far too confusing for my delicate constitution.
I’m wearing mutilating, patriarchy-compliant high heels.
That is so hot. Are you in pain?
Maybe I can type with their pointed toes of cult femininity?
You tell me. Can you?
That is so hot. Are you in pain?
I’m afraid to answer this…
Maybe I can type with their pointed toes of cult femininity?
You tell me. Can you?
Uhhhh, no. The fact that I can even walk in them is due to years of practice and determination. It’s about the only vaguely athletic thing I’ve ever accomplished.
But I thought typing was one of the things I was supposed to do! This is far too confusing for my delicate constitution.
Typing, per se, is not a problem, but it is obvious that when you are given access to the intertubes you have the temerity to actually have ideas. And that, my dear is way beyond the pale!
By the way, I’m thinking of writing a literal field manual on how to manipulate and control the workers.
Gather all the Naomi Klein/ Barbara Ehrenreich (veiled HITLER reference) type books warning us we’re being used! USED!!!, combine those with the observations of Machiavelli, Orwell, Marx, et al, but not as yet another “wake up sheeple!” type screed.
Instead, make it a book on managing populations to maximize ruling- and corporate-class power and effectiveness. Sections on politics, labor, PR, and so forth. It would have a large section devoted to keeping people working against their own interests (really the subject of the entire work), how to create the illusion of freedom while narrowing actual options (the two-party system is an example) and so forth.
I’d write it in an authoritative voice, no snark, with loads of references and citations and quotes, under a pseudonym; then start a stealth campaign to get people aware of it, the thrust (veiled PENIS reference) of which is “did you know this is THE book they use to keep the population docile?”
Worker bees love a Bible. I think if they thought this one was freals, they might actually read it. And who knows, maybe some of them would say, “hey… I done been fucked!”
Maybe I can type with their pointed toes of cult femininity?
Ah, the hunt and pecker style.
Morning!
I see a dumbass white guy who’s never worried about where his next meal is coming from one again decides to pop off on labor and the virtue thereof, namely the old fucking chestnut of “I make more money so I work harder” bullshit.
I assume it’s been suggested, but I vote we get Bobo a copy of “Dirty Jobs” for Xmas. Lulz will also ensue when he realizes “dirty” doesn not mean what he hoped.
I also vote for a visit from Cockpuncho The Cockpunching Gorilla.
Typing, per se, is not a problem, but it is obvious that when you are given access to the intertubes you have the temerity to actually have ideas. And that, my dear is way beyond the pale!
Oh, I see! From now on out, anything I type will be dictation from my intellectual superiors.
I’m thinking of writing a literal field manual on how to manipulate and control the workers.
This is fucking brilliant. Really.
Spengler – better yet, give it some vaguely Puritan-sounding name, like “The 10 Habits of Highly Effective People” and you won’t have to market it as a Bible…or at all. Just send out a few copies to the Brooksies et al and they’ll pimp it for you. Once Glenn Beck starts praising it on his show, all the numbnuts will run out and buy their own copy.
I still love the idea that by denying women a basic civil liberty, the right to a legal and legitimate expression of their point of view, somehow they were free.
Free to not worry their pretty little heads over complicated stuff. Free to give their men lots of lots of babies and keep a clean house for him and learn to make him the best darn apple pies.
You know, free to be women.
I see a dumbass white guy
[whisper] I see white dumbasses.
anything I type will be dictation from my intellectual superiors.
Well that rules out most of us. Of course, Mrs. __B and I just finished Mad Men 3 and they’re making it more and more obvious that the only indispensable person in the office is Joan.
Maybe I can type with their pointed toes of cult femininity?
aka the Dick Morris school of dictation.
I’m thinking of writing a literal field manual on how to manipulate and control the workers.
I’m pretty sure that would just be any text book from an MBA school.
Free to give their men lots of lots of babies and keep a clean house for him and learn to make him the best darn apple pies.
Or, you know, to be prostitutes.
the Dick Morris school of dictation.
You left out a “k.”
Now, what the actual sociologists have found regarding this is that poor people end up having to get several of these part time jobs just to pay rent, whereas the rich tend to engage in some very suspect hourly billing practices such as “thinking about a client while masturbating in the shower” being billable hours “working on a project” or billing 4 clients for an hour of work all done in the same hour.
You installed a camera in my shower room again, for shame…
they’re making it more and more obvious that the only indispensable person in the office is Joan.
Yup. II’ll guarantee that was the case in most organizations in those days. The most powerful people were helpless little babies without their secretaries’ help. I think it’s true in a lot of organizations today. Don’t fuck with the support staff.
“thinking about a client while masturbating in the shower”
Some years ago, I had a boss say at a mid-level managers’ meeting that time spent thinking about a client while in the shower was billable and should appear on our timesheets. Time spent thinking about masturbation while at my office desk was, curiously, also billable.
Jennifer, that’s a great idea, re: “10 Habits” name. It shouldn’t be too long — 150 pages max — and it should relentlessly piss on the working class in a breezy, “but of course” sort of way.
How about “Work Will Make You Free?”
Time spent thinking about masturbation while at my office desk was, curiously, also billable.
What about time masturbating at your office desk?
Orrrrrrrrr am I the only one who does that?
How about “Work Will Make You Free?”
You must include a chapter on the benefits of communal showers.
“I’m pretty sure that would just be any text book from an MBA school.”
Exactly. Condensed and repackaged so the Beck-watchers will buy it because they’re superior types that should know this stuff, and only later, realize, “hey, wait a minute…”
What about time masturbating at your office desk?
Orrrrrrrrr am I the only one who does that?
You either (a) have more privacy than I did as a mid-level manager or (b) are more circumspect (veiled foreskin holocaust reference) in your masturbation.
How about “Work Will Make You Free?”
“Ha Fucking Ha, Nobody’s Moving My Goddamn Cheese!”
I have to track down the book I read a while back on dumbass business texts. Funny and creepy; not only the lies executives are encouraged to tell the proles but the lies they tell themselves to alllow sleep.
OT, but the picture and caption here are Pulitzer-worthy.
You either (a) have more privacy than I did as a mid-level manager or (b) are more circumspect (veiled foreskin holocaust reference) in your masturbation.
a) Nope, half-cube in the middle of the office.
b) It’s a talent.
lobbey-
Hey if you didn’t like it, you should have signed a pre-nup with Electric Eye Inc… Are you saying you’re an enemy of libertarian freedom?
Seems like when the unions started getting broke, the working class started going broke. Perhaps riots in the streets (again) might bring back the good ole’ days? Brooks is just another chump for the Lie/Dream crowd. I hope all these scumbags get some dread deadly disease. They can run, but not hide from misery. Dammit. What’s that song lyric again?- “Life’s a bitch, eat the rich!”?
b) It’s a talent.
Really? Innate? Not a learned skill? Goddamn women get it all, once again.
You must include a chapter on the benefits of communal showers.
Oh, I missed this. Wrongful.
Really? Innate? Not a learned skill? Goddamn women get it all, once again.
Including the right to a “no rape” clause of a pre-nup! Bitches.
I just want to write the management book “Everything I really need to know about management I learned from “The Lord of the Flies””
Once again, Jennifer’s initial post from way back up steals the show – well done.
From the article itself;
Actually, the real interesting analysis of this comes from Paul Krugman in “Conscience of a Liberal,” comparing the achievements of “rich dumb kids” (people who came from wealthy families but had the most trouble in school) with “poor smart kids” (people who came from poor families but excelled academically). Unsurprisingly, the RDKs were still more likely to get ahead in life than the PSKs. That meritocracy shit doesn’t happen in real life either – it should, but fundamentally it’s just what wealthy people who don’t care about the poor say to feel better about a privilege they usually haven’t earned.
Hard work is theft. As are workers’ benefits.
That meritocracy shit doesn’t happen in real life either
I think actor recently said, “it’s not who you know but who you blow.”
I just want to write the management book “Everything I really need to know about management I learned from “The Lord of the Flies””
My business is run entirely on lessons I learned from Stringer Bell and Al Swearengen.
Unsurprisingly, the RDKs were still more likely to get ahead in life than the PSKs.
Well, we just had the quintessential RDK as president for 8 years, so, yeah, not really surprising at all.
Being white and rich is its own special form of affirmative action.
Time spent thinking about masturbation while at my office desk was, curiously, also billable
Thinking about screwing yourself or a co-worker is also billable.
Really? Innate? Not a learned skill? Goddamn women get it all, once again.
Oh yeah? Well most women don’t get ‘piss shivers’ while most men experience them occasionally. I’m one of the apparently few women who experience this little surprise.
Sorry for the TMI.
What about time masturbating at your office desk?
Orrrrrrrrr am I the only one who does that?
It’s much harder* for men
*not-too-VPR
I’m still scratching my head that these rich people of Brooks’ fevered imagination manage to work longer hours than everybody else AND spend more time with their kids.
It’s because Junior has been appointed the VP of Marketing and occupies the office down the hall.
Don’t know if we’re talking about the same song creature, but Aerosmith’s lyrics are always worth posting on a liberal website;
Well I woke up this morning
On the wrong side of the bed
And how I got to thinkin’
About all those things you said
About ordinary people
And how they make you sick
And if callin names kicks back on you
Then I hope this does the trick
‘Cause I’m sick of your complainin’
About how many bills
And I’m sick of all your bitchin’
‘Bout your poodles and your pills
And I just can’t see no humor
About your way of life
And I think I can do more for you
With this here fork and knife
chorus:
Eat the Rich: there’s only one thing that they’re good for
Eat the Rich: take one bite now – come back for more
Eat the Rich: I gotta get this off my chest
Eat the Rich: take one bite now, spit out the rest
So I called up my head shrinker
And told him what I done
He said you best go on a diet
Yeah I hope you have some fun
And a don’t go burst a bubble
On rich folk who get rude
‘Cause you won’t get in no trouble
When you eats that kind of food
Now they’re smoking up their junk bonds
And then they go get stiff
And they’re dancing at the yacht club
With Muff and Uncle Biff
But there’s one good thing that happens
When you toss your pearls to swine
Their attitudes may taste like shit
But go real good with wine
chorus
Believe in all the good things
That money just can’t buy
Then you won’t get no bellyache
From eatin’ humble pie
I believe in rags to riches
Your inheritance won’t last
So take your Grey Poupon my friend
And shove it up your ass!
chorus:
Eat the Rich: there’s only one thing that they’re good for
Eat the Rich: take one bite now – come back for more
Eat the Rich: don’t stop me now I’m goin’ crazy
Eat the Rich: that’s my idea of a good time baby
Well most women don’t get ‘piss shivers’ while most men experience them occasionally.
I don’t even know what this means.
TMI
To Much Inherited? You should be sorry.
T&U – it’s a parasympathetic nervous reaction. Feels kinda like a mini-O.
Well most women don’t get ‘piss shivers’ while most men experience them occasionally.
I don’t even know what this means.
Phil Silvers’s little known brother watching you piss. It’s an unpleasant experience.
I just want to write the management book “Everything I really need to know about management I learned from “The Lord of the Flies””
Honest to Jeebus, I think a while back there was a book of management secrets from Vlad The Impaler.
I KNOW there was one from Atilla The Hun. No idea whether or not horseback bowmanship was involved.
Really? Innate?
Innate, Outate, it’s all good…
Jennifer–Oh, I think I sort of know what you mean.
Well, we just had the quintessential RDK as president for 8 years, so, yeah, not really surprising at all.
Is he writing a self-help book anytime soon? I need some powerful friends of my father’s to help me get ahead. I’ll buy my old man the book to brighten my future.
The racist video the MSM didn’t let you see.
Bobo notwithstanding, there seems to be some sort of teeny disturbance in the conservative Force…some concern about “conservative credibility”…about reality perhaps not conforming to blind dogma…
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36421625
Nope. Not giving Butthurt the click.
Nope. Not giving Butthurt the click.
Fair enough. Somebody yelled “White boy!” at a teabagger, and that was ZOMG totally racist.
The French call piss shivers “le petit whiz.”
Also, it’s fucking great that he allows some of the most racist comments I’ve seen this side of StormFront to be posted.
I am pretty sure the management secrets of Vlad the Impaler was a plot device in some novel. I can’t recall which one though.
From Pseudo’s link,
A return to Reaganism, right. As opposed to what, the last thirty years culminating in the Bush tax cuts? Barack Obama’s still in the Reagan shadow. What the fuck do you mean, “return”?
The difference being that the Democrats do everything they can to distance themselves from black or Hispanic racists (in a white majority country, they have to to win of course), whereas the Republicans do everything they can to run into their white counterparts’ arms.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36421625
Nooooo….Really?! This Kudlow character is sharp.
The difference being that the Democrats do everything they can to distance themselves from black or Hispanic racists (in a white majority country, they have to to win of course), whereas the Republicans do everything they can to run into their white counterparts’ arms.
And call me unsympathetic, but if the worst thing this guy has ever been called in his life is “white boy,” then he’s gotten off pretty easily. I’m not even going to begin to pretend that “white boy” = n****r.
Kudlow is so full of shit.
I just started a small business in late January, not because I was concerned about beating any piddling little 3% tax increase that will only affect me if the business is VERY successful, but because it’s gotten to the point anymore that if you want to earn enough to pay the bills and not be routinely abused by an employer (for ever-decreasing wages), it’s the only option open for most of us.
I love how all the financial dipshits continue to tap-dance around the fact that some 40 – 50% of the country is still too indebted and poorly paid to really participate in the full-fledged consumerism it takes to make this bitch work. Perhaps they leave that out because there’s only a couple of ways to fix it: raise wages for working people or raise taxes on the wealthy, neither of which are allowable options for conservatives, even though a consumer-based capitalist economy will cease to function if there aren’t some brakes applied to wealth consolidation.
And call me unsympathetic, but if the worst thing this guy has ever been called in his life is “white boy,” then he’s gotten off pretty easily.
You’re unsympathetic. Calling pink people “white” is a humiliation that burns brighter than a thousand suns.
At least Kudlow has a tiny bit more self-awareness than Kristol.
Also, it’s fucking great that he allows some of the most racist comments
T&U, mango sales executive.
You’re unsympathetic. Calling pink people “white” is a humiliation that burns brighter than a thousand suns.
Oh, shit. As someone with skin the color of paper privilege, I apologize for my insensitive remark. Obviously, the oppression he has borne under the boot of The Man is more pain than any sunburn I’ve experienced.
Krugman’s recent column about Kudlow has led me to take anything that guy says with a grain of salt, but this bit deserves comment:
People say small businesses are getting killed by taxes and regulations from Washington
What “people” are these, I wonder? Probably this is what Kudlow was saying six weeks ago, but now he has to retrench so he can create a new narrative lest which the obvious one, dictated by Occam’s Razor, takes hold. So, he makes all these noises about supply side and free market and rah, rah the bold American entrepreneur acting despite the dead hand of the government.
The competing narrative, of course, is “Bush damn near killed the economy, but Obama seems to have rescued it”. You can see how they’d be scared shitless of that.
T&U, mango sales executive.
Some days brain-curdling pain is preferable to boredom.
People say small businesses are getting killed by taxes and regulations from Washington
What “people” are these, I wonder
Good question. The only cost that’s gone up for my business is ¡SURPRISE! our insurance premiums.
The only cost that’s gone up for my business is ¡SURPRISE! our insurance premiums.
Well, that’s you’re fault for providing your employees with insurance in the first place, silly! Galtian superheroes don’t do that.
The only cost that’s gone up for my business is ¡SURPRISE! our insurance premiums.
Your sarcasm indicates your loathsome hatred for profits.
Galtian superheroes don’t do that.
Reasons I am not John Galt:
My engineering business is based on an actual service, not an imaginary product.
My business model depends on the coordinated efforts of five engineers and a support admin, all of whom have vital roles to play.
My life takes place as part of a society, which I believe should have equality for all.
I have made it this far in life without raping anyone.
I hope that by listing these reasons I will be spared further humiliating comparisons to John Galt or a white sheet of paper, and that I have made Ayn Rand’s stay in hell less pleasant.
Your sarcasm indicates your loathsome hatred for profits.
Mrs. __B? Is that you?
I have made it this far in life without raping anyone.
You don’t know how to have any fun, huh? Or make a “real” living.
The only cost that’s gone up for my business is ¡SURPRISE! our insurance premiums.
Insurance is theft!
Wait. That’s actually true.
I hope that by listing these reasons I will be spared further humiliating comparisons to John Galt or a white sheet of paper, and that I have made Ayn Rand’s stay in hell less pleasant.
I apologize if it seemed as if I were insinuating that you were anything like John Galt. *That* is the worst insult any het white dude would have to endure.
I apologize if it seemed as if I were insinuating that you were anything like John Galt. *That* is the worst insult any het white dude would have to endure.
I dunno, being called a Boehner kinds sucks too.
See what I did there?
I’m done.
I have a hankering for mango salsa.
.
.
.
AAIYEEEE!
Okay, no Bobo post is complete without this link. It’s the same one I’ve posted many times before – for you newer folks, it is a must read.
Ah Kudlow, always saying the same thing even when he says something else. I’ve had up to here with that “we won’t hire people until you cut our taxes” crap. Why, oh why, don’t the sane people say “No, the reason you won’t hire anyone to grow your business is because you have NO CUSTOMERS, FUCKHEAD. What if, instead of making for bigger deficits, we try to get you some customers, eh? People with jobs to buy your fucking product, Mr. Greedyshitforbrains.
Thanks for that link, PeeJ. Bookmarked for the ages.
I wonder if Brooks also thinks rich folk work harder than enlisted military personnel.
It amuses me terribly that I hit just about all of Brooks’ cultural indicators. I like Hollywood movies and network TV, I don’t read literature or poetry, I live in a rural area, and whereas I prefer Chili’s to Applebee’s, I would prefer either of them to any restaurant where sundried tomatoes are featured.
Nevertheless, I am farther left than all but the leftiest Americans. Why, it’s almost as if Brooks doesn’t know what he’s talking about!
That meritocracy shit doesn’t happen in real life either – it should, but fundamentally it’s just what wealthy people who don’t care about the poor say to feel better about a privilege they usually haven’t earned.
One of the most important revelations to me was that “meritocracy” was first coined in reference to a dystopian novel. Which is to say, meritocracy doesn’t fucking happen outside of fiction.
And strangely enough, it didn’t happen in fiction either, because as with the actual flaws of proposed “meritocracies”, everything was built on who and what defined “merit”, and hey, helluva surprise, it always fell in line with what their existing prejudices said.
Why, it’s almost as if Brooks doesn’t know what he’s talking about!
Fancy that, Hedda. [Unveiled obscurish cultural reference.]
People say small businesses are getting killed by taxes and regulations from Washington
What “people” are these, I wonder?
The Van Pattens.
And the proof of that is Brooks himself.
They guy has knowingly lied in column after column after column — whether the “rich folks work more than poor people!” claim we’re discussing (which isn’t backed up by a shred of evidence; and I looked for it), or that Applebee’s restaurants have salad bars, they guy is a serial bullshitter.
Yet, if I had done that in my job (also as a writer), I’d have been fired on the spot, without question. But Brooks, despite his lying being brought to the attention of NYT editors, is still employed and making six figures.
So, yeah. A “meritocracy” only exists in the minds of those who have had everything handed to them.
Sun-dried tomatoes are Satan’s raisins.
From PeeJ’s Must Read bobo linK:
the Toronto Star deconstructed a sausage.
It is left to the reader to provide the veil.
That meritocracy shit doesn’t happen in real life either …
And the proof of that is Brooks himself.
God, THANK YOU. I think this every time one of his little truckling turd waffles is linked.
Wolcott made fun of Bobo too:
“Dead-on in an exact-opposite sort of way” might someday be Brooks’ journalistic epitaph”
the Toronto Star deconstructed a sausage.
Ceci n’est pas un pénis.
That meritocracy shit doesn’t happen in real life either …
All one needs to know about that is, the most prominent proponent of such nonsense is Bill “Meritocracy” Kristol.
All one needs to know about that is, the most prominent proponent of such nonsense is Bill “Meritocracy” Kristol.
All joking aside, wasn’t it his father who ran on about how meritocracy was the only way to go?
I hope that by listing these reasons I will be spared further humiliating comparisons to John Galt or a white sheet of paper
So we’ll call you both!
Mr __B, the burning question (sorry) is whether you can think without smoking.
I told that damn CPA that subscriptions to internet porn sites were a legitimate business expense. But, would he listen?
I am so going to fire his ass!
Mr __B, the burning question (sorry) is whether you can think without smoking.
Are you implying excessive friction in my mental gears? THIS INFAMY SHALL NOT STAND!
Fancy that, Hedda.
knob-Gabler.
From the Amazon Galt Paper listing:
Ideal for children’s drawing and painting activities
For example, designing a new type of metal for railroads, or a building representing man’s ego above all.
Not suited for: Vulgar cartoons, collectivist creative writing classes, or printing newspaper columns critical of the true source of genius and inspiration.
Sun-dried tomatoes are so late 90’s.
Oh no, has my worst fear become true? Have I been transported back to the near past? How can I get home?
Nice link, PeeJ
Stereotypes are so much fun. They get even more muddled out West, where I reside. Personally, I’m a hybrid of all different types of cultures, thanks to a well rounded set of parents.
Looks like Brooks’ bullshit was the inspiration for Palin’s “Real America” jab at literacy.
> whereas the rich tend to engage in some very suspect hourly billing practices such as “thinking about a client while masturbating in the shower” being billable hours “working on a project” or billing 4 clients for an hour of work all done in the same hour.
… better still, combining these ploys by thinking about 4 clients while masturbating, and billing them all.
Sun-dried tomatoes are so late 90’s.
Oh no, has my worst fear become true? Have I been transported back to the near past? How can I get home?
No, just a Panera.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand there are no Paneras in the UK. Motherfuck. Never mind.
combining these ploys by thinking about 4 clients while masturbating, and billing them all.
I think that only meets GAAP if your mental picture is of the 4 clients having sex together. Given the …ahem… physical attributes of most of my clients, I’ll pass.
I’m sure Bobo is an expert at this. His work has “mental masturbation” written all over it.
I love sun dried tomatoes. I plump them up with the pasta before tossing it with the pesto and grilled chicken. Mmmm, tasty.
I think that only meets GAAP if your mental picture is of the 4 clients having sex together. Given the …ahem… physical attributes of most of my clients, I’ll pass.
Just add hazard pay on top of your regular rate.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand there are no Paneras in the UK.
Canada has them. Close enough.
I think that only meets GAAP if your mental picture is of the 4 clients having sex together.
GAAP was redefined in the 90s to mean “Whatever the client is willing to pay for”.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand there are no Paneras in the UK. Motherfuck.
Well, there’s no Panteras, either, so that strikes me as more than a fair trade-off.
I plump them up with the pasta
Is that what the kids are calling sex these days?
Yeah, Panera means nothing to me, aaaah Vienna.
Serves me right for coming on a American blog. I could up the ante by making cultural references to a Gregg’s steak slice. I won’t though.
Just add hazard pay on top of your regular rate.
You mean on top of my already elevated (VPR) ugly-person rate? Hmmm….
Gregg’s steak slice
Translated for Americans: OK, think Panera, only think Panera crossed with Subway…no, better, Blimpie, and multiply by Baskin-Robbins, subtracting the ice cream but adding in Mrs Field’s cookies.
Clear now?
Brooks, despite his lying being brought to the attention of NYT editors, is still employed and making six figures.
Brooks. Makes. Six. Figures. ?!?!?oneoneone1?
Journalism, along with my hope for humanity, is dead.
Brooks. Makes. Six. Figures. ?!?!?oneoneone1?
Yes.
He makes an ogee, a scroll, curlicue, the right half of the number 7, a reclining angle, and a dick.
actor212
Surely the key part of steak slice consumption is that it’s only done as part of a hangover recovery.
The recommended way to eat a Greggs steak slice is whilst gently weeping to yourself due to self loathing and horror at your own depravity.
Yes.
He makes a… …reclining angle,
No wonder he’s so comfortable.
OT but….
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Surely the key part of steak slice consumption is that it’s only done as part of a hangover recovery.
D’Oh!
OK, Americans, take that entire recipe I had posted before? Now toss it all into a White Castle. Mea culpa. That’s the importantest bit.
Michael Knox Beran
Jonah Goldberg has a pen name?
Michael Knox Beran
Jonah Goldberg has a pen name?
MKB is Jonah after 2AM. This piece was posted at 4AM. Must have been another boring, lonely weekend for MKB.
MKB is Jonah after 2AM.
Maybe we could introduce him to porn…
Mm. White Castle. God dammit, now I’m hungry and I live in Florida where the closest I have to that is a Krystal’s. This is a nightmare!
Maybe we could introduce him to porn…
There’s something like that on NRO: They call it “Voight Vs. Obama”.. Are they playing a round-robin one-on-one tourney?
God dammit, now I’m hungry
I didn’t know White Castles were open in broad daylight…
Classical liberty is founded on the belief that all men are created equal; that they should be treated equally under the law; and that they should be permitted the widest liberty of action consistent with public tranquility and the safety of the state.
Waded out a short ways for a glimpse of mangoes.
Fuck, has Mikey K. B. never fucking heard of “left libertarianism”? And if he thinks Libertarians are present examples of “Classical liberty” he’s got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do about how willing they are to throw over “safety of the state”, not to mention “public tranquility” (“an armed society is a polite society”, anyone?) in the name of giving all power to private interests.
Hey! Maybe he should READ Chomsky instead of just going all Beavis-and-Butthead “HURR HURR HE’S A DUMBASS!” every time he hears The Name That Must Not Be Spoken. He might learn a thing or two, god forbid.
MKB is Jonah after 2AM.
Maybe we could introduce him to porn…
You-know-which-scene in The Fountainhead?
The recommended way to eat a Greggs steak slice is whilst gently weeping to yourself due to self loathing and horror at your own depravity
Okay, imagine this, but not the depravity part, and directed at Midwestern suburban moms and office staff. Plus frozen par-baked bagels, pastries and bread, and a bloated menu of sandwiches, soups, and salads, which range from “pretty good!” to “at least fast food is cheaper!” Oh, and the worst fucking coffee I have ever had.
So, really, nothing like it.
/former artisanal bakery lackey and food snob
You know who ELSE loved sundried tomatoes??
OT but….
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
TL; DR. I can barely make it through a New Yorker–I’m not wasting brain cells on that shit. Summary?
that they should be permitted the widest liberty of action consistent with public tranquility and the safety of the state.
See, there’s the problem right there. “public tranquility” and “safety of the state” are inconsistent with each other independent of their inconsistency with libertarianism. Sure, you can have public tranquility and a safe state, but only at the cost of a strong set of rules and regulations and strong enforcement thereof because, as we all know, PEOPLE ARE BASTARD COVERED BASTARDS WITH BASTARD FILLING.
On a limited basis, people will voluntarily act within the law 100 percent of the time. If you extend either the time frame or the size of the population, you risk losing that perfect compliance, which is why governance becomes important.
What ConLibs don’t understand is that those boundaries of time and community size were trampled on a long long time ago. We are well beyond any hope of having voluntary compliance and a voluntary sense of community.
Evidence? The fact that, until Social Security, the poorest demographic in this country were the elderly, whom it is written in the Ten Commandments we are supposed to honor. For Christ’s sake if we couldn’t get people to take care of the parents, how the hell were we expecting them to give a damn about the family down the street?
Okay, imagine this, but not the depravity part
Wait! I got it!
OK, UKDave? Pret A Manger, only greasier.
It amazes me how often self-called Libertarians accomplish the amazing feat of ignoring how corporations infringe on individual liberty in any way that makes them money.
You’d think that they’d see what the regulation-free capitalist utopia of Bhopal, India produced: Dow Chemical accidentally killing anywhere from 3 to 15 THOUSAND civilians because they couldn’t be arsed to give a crap about minimal safety.
But it happened to brown people so it didn’t *really* happen, I guess.
I did see this just now, though, which made me smile:
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/archive/permalink/the_yes_mens_bhopal_hoax/
Mango pickle to make you want to take shore leave.
Pret A Manger, only greasier.
Just looked at the menu, and that seems about perfect. Probably with bigger portion sizes, too. And no sushi (wtf?).
Y’all knew that Panera used to be called St. Louis Bread Company, right? I think up until about 10-15 years ago–then they undertook that huge expansion campaign and decided that regional shit was uncool.
Oops- Mango pickle to make you want to take shore leave.
Currently the top four posts at Crooked Timber concern libertarians being silly.
http://crookedtimber.org/
I did see this just now, though, which made me smile
I have to rummage and see if I can find their latest DVD in the pile I got from LinkTV. They are a treasure.
TruculentandUnreliable
It sounds like the sort of mediocrity that makes me glad it’s not very easy to get a gun in the UK.
At least Greggs is just dirty and it knows it.
TL; DR. I can barely make it through a New Yorker–I’m not wasting brain cells on that shit. Summary?
I read the first page then passed out. From what I gather, liberalism is descending into an abyss because of a lack of intellectuals. This article has been inserted into the dictionary as definition #2 for “projection”.
If someone could give me the highlights from the Voight/ Obama game, I can’t watch em at work, I’d appreciate it.
Try again- Mango pickle to make you want to take shore leave. And I blame Firefox this time.
OK, UKDave? Pret A Manger, only greasier.
Yeah, but more soul destroying. You stand in the line at Greggs and ask yourself if civilisation was worth it if this is what it delivers.
It sounds like the sort of mediocrity that makes me glad it’s not very easy to get a gun in the UK.
Oh my fucking God, I know. My poor husband had to eat there twice last week because the in-laws came all the way up from Texas to eat at chain restaurants. He did put his foot down when they wanted to go to Applebee’s, though. (Although I hear the salad bar is delicious!)
From what I gather, liberalism is descending into an abyss because of a lack of intellectuals.
Oh, that is quite lolworthy.
You stand in the line at Greggs and ask yourself if civilisation was worth it if this is what it delivers.
Every time I feel that way, I remind myself that each technological advance has brought more efficient methods of delivering porn.
don’t know if anyone’s posted it yet but Lemmy’s “Eat the Rich” is a much better song (if less appropriate wrt op)
Yeah, but more soul destroying. You stand in the line at Greggs and ask yourself if civilisation was worth it if this is what it delivers.
Okay, standing in line at Panera makes you lament the utter blandness of the American palate and think about moving to France just because their bread *looks* better, even though you can’t eat wheat anymore.
Another reason to question civilization.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
Argh, chain restaurants! I’ve had it a few times when friends come to stay in London, we head out for a meal and instead of going to one of the hundreds of amazing independent restaurants (it’s not all fish and chips these days) in town they want to go to fucking Pizza Express or something. Drives me up the goddamn wall!
I refer to my earlier statement about it being a good thing it’s hard for me to get a gun.
N__B
Valid point. It’s all about the porn. Hehehe, boobs.
You stand in the line at Greggs and ask yourself if civilisation was worth it if this is what it delivers.
See, that’s White Castle for us, except WC (get the initials?) only serves what are euphemistically and quite hopefully called “hamburgers”.
They’re actually small cardboard squares cut carefully from the shirt backing imported from a men’s shop in the high street of Wigan or some other factory town in Lancs. The board then has tiny holes pricked thru to allow for full saturation from the steam wafting off grilled onions which can best be described as “landfill”.
A photograph of a pickle is then shown to the creation, which turns a not-quite-dingy shade of green (it could be very old meat, I’m not sure) out of politeness.
This all appears on a square bun about the size of a Scrabble tile, formed out of day-old bread that’s been floating on an algae-coated pond that even the ducks refused to eat, and served to a line of cars at a “drive-thru”. People won’t be seen actually purchasing these “burgers” and the cars make it safe to transact said purchase in private.
Also, they provide a great containment vessel for afterwards when the inevitable toxic fumes begin to form in the lower GI tract, and of course, it’s much easier to vomit out the window of a moving car and not stain your shoes than if you’re standing waiting for the train…
I remind myself that each technological advance has brought more efficient methods of delivering porn.
I’d gladly trade the porn apps on my iPhone for a decent slice of pizza outside of Brooklyn.
Esteev
Worst thing is I work in the City (in IT I hasten to add) and regularly see the hedge fund types out drinking.
One night I did extract just a little bit of social justice when I heard one braying on the phone to a friend as to how “the little people should have no say in what we do or what we get paid”.
Okay, standing in line at Panera makes you
…nostalgic for Boston Market?
…regret that Red Lobster is a mile further down the road?
…eye California Pizza Kitchen with lust?
…wish you had taken your first wife here for the engagement dinner because it would have made a better statement than the $400 you splurged on a decent lobster dinner in 1984 and the bitch still made you get down on your knee to propose and you had to fake tying your shoe so you wouldn’t embarass your– oh, wait, that was McDonald’s that made me do that…
they want to go to fucking Pizza Express or something
Oh, that really pisses me off, because there is so much good food in London and I would love to go to as many local places as possible there.
Yeah, I don’t get it. We had to prod the in-laws into going to the local brewery, which just serves okay bar food. They only recently moved to Texas, and had lived here all their lives, and I’ve only known them to go to a local restaurant 2-3 times in the six years I’ve lived here. Basically because we forced them. We aren’t a hub of culinary genius around here, but there are some really good places…and they just want to go to Applebee’s.
I honestly do NOT get the White Castle thing at all. I would rather eat a 20 piece Chicken McNugget and 3 Big Macs than ANY White Castle. Urrrg.
From what I gather, liberalism is descending into an abyss because of a lack of intellectuals.
Well, yeah!
I mean, other than Noam Chomsky, Michael Parenti, Mark Crispin Miller, Edward Said, Howard Zinn, Christian Parenti, Thomas Frank, Piven & Cloward, the Cockburns… and a whole slew of other people who I can’t recall off the top of my elderly grey non-functioning head.
But other than them, no, the Left has no intellectuals whatsoever.
UKDave
Yeah, I have a few “friends” (more like friends of friends that I can’t stand) who work in that sector. They were the mid-twenty types who live in NYC, drive a $80,000 Audi and throw ridiculous amounts of money around at a bar. Now, after they’re “business” has tanked, they are unemployed and “amazed” at how hard “real work” is.
Oh, the best part, they all got the job through one of their fathers. Chip off the old block.
RE: Meritocracy,
Gets me every time.
TruculentandUnreliable
People like what they know I suppose. Whilst trying new things is good I have left places after stumping up close to a hundred sheets for two courses and a bottle of wine thinking I could have cooked something better myself following a three day bender.
Such is the magic of the unknown!
I would rather eat a 20 piece Chicken McNugget and 3 Big Macs than ANY White Castle. Urrrg.
Cast out, I say, cast out!
WTF is the beef against White Castle? I remember them fondly (of course, I have a masochistic streak, so YMMV.)
Where else is going to provide your fodder for “the craziest mofo I ever saw at 2:30 in the morning” stories?
Roy Edroso swept the title on this thread!
Yo, anybody in NYC, tomorrow is “Drinkers with a Science Problem” night in Brooklyn.
I honestly do NOT get the White Castle thing at all.
McDonald’s does not strategically place themselves on the main thorofares leading away from bars at 3AM.
Besides, when all you have is loose change after a night’s drinking and not enough brainpower to figure out the amount it all comes to, throwing a handful at the helpful clerk and slurring “Gimme that many in a sack” is a lot easier than reading off a menu.
Bobo goes and proves that Jarvis Cocker was absolutely correct in his assessment…to wit:
From what I gather, liberalism is descending into an abyss because of a lack of intellectuals.
Goddamn right-wing ivory tower academical elitists always looking down on We the REAL PEOPLE liberals.
Yo, anybody in NYC, tomorrow is “Drinkers with a Science Problem” night in Brooklyn.
I’m planning to, if I can finish my taxes. I’m taking a day off for this.
Whilst trying new things is good I have left places after stumping up close to a hundred sheets for two courses and a bottle of wine thinking I could have cooked something better myself following a three day bender.
Oh, certainly. I’ve been a few places like that. But I’d rather spend twice as much supporting a local business on the chance that what they make is good than eat at some chain place that’s bound to be mediocre.
That said, I heart Chipotle, and any chain that does it right is okay with me.
WTF is the beef against White Castle?
I see what you do here.
damn weirdpress ate my embed…
Bobo proves Jarvis Cocker to be absolutely correct here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=monyiOsoKxg
Howard Zinn is dead.
But other than them, no, the Left has no intellectuals whatsoever.
And Michael Moore is fat!
See, that’s White Castle for us, except WC (get the initials?) only serves what are euphemistically and quite hopefully called “hamburgers”.
Hey, at least we have Gray’s Papaya, and Mamoun’s Falafel restaurant (now a mini-chain).
Esteev
God they drive me up the wall. I did lose it that night though. The UK has put itself in hock for a generation to bail out this mess and his lack of self awareness was absolutely incredible. OK, I shouldn’t have hit him but his sense of privilege, entitlement multiplied by no concept of social responsibility (the UK Government had just announced that the top rate of tax was going to go up 50% on income over £150,000 a year to sort out public finances that had been screwed by the people who earn over £150,000 a year) coupled with a few Peroni’s….
Hey, at least we have Gray’s Papaya
Hey! Papaya King, you heathen!
Mamoun’s Falafel restaurant (now a mini-chain)
Best fast food in New York is Rafiqi’s halal carts. Hands down.
WTF is the beef against White Castle?
I just can’t abide by tiny steamed sliders that often have the consistency of paste.
Where else is going to provide your fodder for “the craziest mofo I ever saw at 2:30 in the morning” stories?
I guess that’s just a sacrifice I’ll have to make.
the UK Government had just announced that the top rate of tax was going to go up 50% on income over £150,000 a year to sort out public finances that had been screwed by the people who earn over £150,000 a year
Wow! You mean the UK, that bastion of class warfare, has used logic in handling the financial crisis?
Bobo proves Jarvis Cocker to be absolutely correct here
Awww, my high school boyfriend!
B^4 –
I fucked up. I need to get my scaffold safety card renewed in a huge hurry and tomorrow night was the only option for a class. There’s a possibility Mrs. __B will be attending with a friend from work, but that’s not set. If they go, I assume you and Actor will protect them from the hoi polloi and provide me with amusing anecdotes from the Mrs. by attempting to cuckold me.
I want to try a White Castle now. They sound awful and the abbreviation means toilet so it’s a winner for me.
I want to try a White Castle now. They sound awful and the abbreviation means toilet so it’s a winner for me.
They are so classy that a) they sell their burgers frozen, and b) the last one I was in used a piece of polished steel in place of a mirror in the bathroom.
I want to try a White Castle now. They sound awful and the abbreviation means toilet so it’s a winner for me.
I don’t think anyone mentioned the coup de grace of awfulosity: they are physically little white castles.
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1011/719801815_d4900a8759.jpg
OK, I shouldn’t have hit him but …
Violence never solves anything. But, in your case, did the right thing. The entitlement is deeply threaded here in the US too. They srsly think that they should do whatever they please and to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.
I’m sure the next meltdown will wake everyone up who hit the snooze on the current one.
the last one I was in used a piece of polished steel in place of a mirror in the bathroom.
Hey! Just like my elementary school.
actor212 said
And guess what the bankers / hedge fund managers / Michael Caine / Tracey Emin did? They threatened to leave the country.
Disgrace.
Somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 bong hits of high-quality chronic helps quite a bit.
Or, um, so I’ve heard.
Mark D brings up an excellent point.
As long as we’re screwing unicorns here, I’d love a real pastrami sandwich in San Francisco.
the last one I was in used a piece of polished steel in place of a mirror in the bathroom.
“Polished”?
Looxury! The last one I was in had scratchitti engraved in the mirror.
I assume you and Actor will protect them from the hoi polloi
Me? I was hoping she’d protect me!
Somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 bong hits of high-quality chronic helps quite a bit.
Oof. Just reading that makes me need to take my inhaler. I prefer (gluten-free) brownies, and even high, I can’t eat that much more after consuming half a pan of brownies.
Although I’ve never lived in the same town as a White Castle, and Taco Bell is pretty damn delicious when you’re high, so I can see your point.
Me? I was hoping she’d protect me!
Unlike you, me, and B^4, she’s a little miniature person.
They are so classy that a) they sell their burgers frozen, and b) the last one I was in used a piece of polished steel in place of a mirror in the bathroom.
The one closest to me doesn’t have a “Be Back in [Blank] Minutes” sign but rather a “We Haven’t Been Robbed at Gunpoint in [Blank] Minutes” sign.
Taco Bell is pretty damn delicious when you’re high
Too many ingredients. It’s too easy to wake up and find you haven’t eaten everything. Nothing worse than rolling over onto a cold hunk of tomato in the back seat of a Buick when you’re hungover.
Unlike you, me, and B^4, she’s a little miniature person.
I have to ask: does she have a flat head?
Esteev
I shouldn’t have but the weekend previously I’d been back home explaining to my mate Paul the scaffolder why he was going to have to pay more taxes / see a decrease in public services for the next ten years to pay for some rich boys fuck up. It got me quite angry.
I assume you and Actor will protect them from the hoi polloi and provide me with amusing anecdotes from the Mrs. by attempting to cuckold me.
The only time I ever messed around with a married woman was years ago, when I was seeing a woman who neglected to tell me that she was separated, but not yet divorced. When I figured out what the deal was, I told her, “I never would have gotten involved with you if I’d known you were married.”
Her reply? “Yeah, I figured that out- that’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Gray’s Papaya. Best hot dog ev-ah!
I would love to be able to get good a) Indian food, b) Vietnamese food, c) Thai food, and d) middle Eastern food. We have a good vegan cafe and that’s about it.
And good bagels, sandwiches, and Italian for my compatriots.
UKDave,
You did the right thing. If only the hooks you landed were felt by all those stuck up, faux-important, economy destroyers.
I have to ask: does she have a flat head?
No. Hers is more or less spherical, mine is a perfect cube. My father’s is a dodecahedron. As you know, B^4 is more in the oblate spheroid range.
Oh, the best part, they all got the job through one of their fathers.
Not being aprivy to information about that species, I have to ask: How does that work? Is that like puppy littermates having different fathers or do they each have multiple fathers?
The Rich Deserve Every Cent They Earn
Absolutely and as soon as they start to actually earn some, we will let them keep them, in the mean time, tax them into oblivion. Profit is theft and unearned income is…. UNEARNED!
The only time I ever messed around with a married woman was years ago
I ask forgiveness for impugning your oblate sense of honor.
OK, I shouldn’t have hit him but …
Violence never solves anything. But, in your case, did the right thing.
Violence never solves anything, but sometimes it feels so good!
What did you hit him with? Did you give him a “Glascow kiss”?
Oh, and Esteev, you are considered a NYC resident for Brooklyn-going purposes tomorrow night- no excuses!
Feh, I have to get to the Island tonight for a wake. Actor212, keep plugging Brooklyn.
Hers is more or less spherical
Crap. Looks like canned beer for me, then.
Actor212, keep plugging Brooklyn
Her husband took a shot at me!
. Nothing worse than rolling over onto a cold hunk of tomato in the back seat of a Buick when you’re hungover.
This makes me nostalgic for my grandmother’s Buick Park Avenue that I used to drive. It had a velour interior and the backseat was like a couch…I wish I hadn’t gotten ride of it.
Big Bad Bald Bastard
Yup, when I said hit I did mean Glasgow kiss.
Less of that, more voting in the future. General election on! Is it getting any coverage in the States?
Oh, and Esteev, you are considered a NYC resident for Brooklyn-going purposes tomorrow night- no excuses!
Yea, really! Come, Esteev! It only sounds intimidating and there’s nothing funnier than a bunch of intoxicated dweebs drunk dialing their college RAs asking “Is your refrigerator running?”
It had a velour interior and the backseat was like a couch
Ah yes, the Club Soda car.
So called because you needed to carry a bottle with you to get the stains out.
General election on! Is it getting any coverage in the States?
Somewhere between American Idol and the kid in Mississippi who wanted to take her lesbian lover to the prom.
I would love to be able to get good a) Indian food, b) Vietnamese food, c) Thai food, and d) middle Eastern food. We have a good vegan cafe and that’s about it.
You really should move to Portland*. We have all that and more on many street corners.
* Please don’t let anyone know I said that. “We want you to visit our State of Excitement often. Come again and again. But for heaven’s sake, don’t move here to live. Or if you do have to move in to live, don’t tell any of your neighbors where you are going.” — Former gov. Tom McCall
Not being aprivy to information about that species, I have to ask: How does that work? Is that like puppy littermates having different fathers or do they each have multiple fathers?
LULz.. it works this way: friends since birth, country clubing as a youth, Georgetown or the like for college, then, then one of the fathers gets his son a job who then brings the friend with him and so on. Get Born Again! Literally! Into Money!
White Castle/Krystal haters are just elitist food-nazi snobs who just happen to have good taste. BASTARDS!
actor212 said
A lesbian wanted to take her partner to the prom!?!?
America is off to hell in a hand basket.
Oh, and Esteev, you are considered a NYC resident for Brooklyn-going purposes tomorrow night- no excuses!
Yea, really! Come, Esteev! It only sounds intimidating and there’s nothing funnier than a bunch of intoxicated dweebs drunk dialing their college RAs asking “Is your refrigerator running?”
I like beer, science and food! I’ll try and make it
This is right up a buddy of mine’s alley.
You really should move to Portland*.
We’re seriously considering it. We have friends there and Mr. T&U wants to open an artisanal butchery and it seems like a very good place to do so. Plus, tattoos, bike riding, indie rock, blah blah blah we’re total stereotypes blah.
* Please don’t let anyone know I said that.
I know. I do feel bad for all the native Portlanders. But we’re nice, responsible crunchy near-hipsters!
I ask forgiveness for impugning your oblate sense of honor.
Hey, back when I was a blond-afroed teen, I heard the lovely Jean McAllister (of New Zealand- WOOT Kiwis!) sing the line, “I can’t get used to a love that makes me someone’s enemy.” Words to live by, especially since there are so many attractive single women around.
A lesbian wanted to take her partner to the prom!?!?
The ACLU sued. She got to go to prom, but the parents arranged a private prom that she wasn’t invited to. Most of the students attended that prom, not the school prom, so there were, like, 10 kids there. Fucked up.
Mr. T&U wants to open an artisanal butchery
That’s where a bunch of skilled laborers stand around and compare penis size?
I read this and was getting ready to ask, “Please tell me that he said this in a lower-class joint, or at least one that had enough blue-collar customers that a few of them came over and explained the fact of life to him.”
But according to the next few posts, you appear to have hit him, so I guess he did get some form of what was coming to him… so well done.
I know a few people like that; the thing is that they’ve been raised listening to shit like this for so long that they don’t even realize how insulting it sounds, and they don’t have the sense to shut up or at least dial it down when they’re in public, or when they’re in the company of people who might be offended by it.
“Hers is more or less spherical
Crap. Looks like canned beer for me, then.”
How about a rubber suction cup?
That’s where a bunch of skilled laborers stand around and compare penis size?
That sounds awesome, but no. Although there is a lot of sausage involved.
Although there is a lot of sausage involved.
The story of the world.
Most of the students attended that prom, not the school prom, so there were, like, 10 kids there.
Yeah, and a bunch of the kids were the learning disabled. There’s a killer post on world-o-crap by Bill S on that story. The kids, parents and, really, the town as a whole were complicit in overt bigotry. It’s a sight to behold.
Most of the students attended that prom, not the school prom, so there were, like, 10 kids there.
You forgot to mention that the other eight who attended the school prom were short-bus special education kids that also were not wanted.
No doubt, Brooks has a high opinion of Carl Paladino.
It only sounds intimidating and there’s nothing funnier than a bunch of intoxicated dweebs drunk dialing their college RAs asking “Is your refrigerator running?”
Don’t listen to him- his head was doing the old “Linda Blair” routine, trying to ogle the lovelies in attendence.
“Hers is more or less spherical
Crap. Looks like canned beer for me, then.”
How about a rubber suction cup?
She has hair.
Wait! Velcro!
Don’t listen to him- his head was doing the old “Linda Blair” routine, trying to ogle the lovelies in attendence.
And who later drunk dialed his old RA when he got to his car…
I mean, other than Noam Chomsky, Michael Parenti, Mark Crispin Miller, Edward Said, Howard Zinn, Christian Parenti, Thomas Frank, Piven & Cloward, the Cockburns… and a whole slew of other people who I can’t recall off the top of my elderly grey non-functioning head.
Puh-lease. You call those intellectuals? If they are so intellectual, how come they don’t have TV shows?
And there aint a one of them what could skin a moose.
OMFG KATHLEEN PARKER WON A PULITZER.
the Cockburns.
Puh-lease. You call those intellectuals? If they are so intellectual, how come they don’t have TV shows?
Hell, Cockburns are an entire wing of porn!
OMFG KATHLEEN PARKER WON A PULITZER.
K-Pax? Was it for the post where she tore her former friends on the right a new asshole?
Don’t listen to him- his head was doing the old “Linda Blair” routine, trying to ogle the lovelies in attendence.
Oh? Talent attending?
K-Pax? Was it for the post where she tore her former friends on the right a new asshole?
I hope, but it doesn’t diminish the fact that she’s a fucking hack.
And who later drunk dialed his old RA when he got to his car…
How’d you get your RA’s #? I avoided mine like the plague. Mostly because I was doing illegal/dangerous/frowned upon things.
This is right up a buddy of mine’s alley.
Not so veiled buttseks reference.
Talent attending?
DKW’s mom excused herself, but there were some pretties.
How’d you get your RA’s #?
I remembered which bathroom wall I wrote it on.
OMFG do it now! An in with an artisanal type butcher would be like the third best thing that could ever happen to me. Damn Nicky has great stuff but doesn’t sell retail. As Portland is THE foodie hot spot these days, I seriously can’t imagine a better place.
You also have to enjoy microbrews, artisanal hooch, and be cool with public nudity. So there’s that.
Chris
It was a pub in the City (UK version of Wall Street) so the bloke would have been thinking “safe environment, I can be as much as a wanker as possible”. I suspect the only time he goes near the working class is to get his boiler / car / plumbing fixed.
To everyone who commented on the lesbian prom thing:
My tongue is on the floor in shock. That’s fucking awful.
his is right up a buddy of mine’s alley.
Not so veiled buttseks reference.
Jealousy is an ugly quality, PeeJ.
DKW’s mom excused herself, but there were some pretties.
Phew….i owe her $.
Well, Hank won one too, so there’s that.
You also have to enjoy microbrews, artisanal hooch, and be cool with public nudity.
Isn’t this how you ended up married, T&U?
Well, Hank won one too, so there’s that.
The Pulitzer is nothing if not current.
I’ll say it, since no one else has jumped into the breach (VVR): the problem with public nudity is ugly people. The Center for the Visually Unpleasant (c.f. Mr. Carlin) has not yet found a cure.
the problem with public nudity is ugly people
Generally, this is a self-solving problem: many ugly people realize they are and stay under wraps.
What the real problem becomes, then, is a matter of self-image.
Ahhhhhh.
Cultural miscommunication. You said “the City” and I, like a good American, assumed you were passing through New York at the time. Well, this is how you learn things.
Any chance you’d get in trouble for this? In America, you’d have been sued about thirty seconds after the fact…
Best fast food in New York is Rafiqi’s halal carts. Hands down.
Bah. They’re good but there are two very cool guys who operate a halal cart on the corner of Hudson and Leroy that blows away Rafiqi’s. But the best fast food of any kind in the city is to be had at this little stand underneath the 7 train’s 61st St. stop in Woodside. I think the woman who operates it is Mexican and they sell the usual stuff like tacos and burritos, but the “torta Cubana”? I’ve got a problem. Every time I pass through Queens, even if I’m nowhere near Woodside, I’ve got to have it.
I seriously can’t imagine a better place.
It’s also a city that’s relatively cheap and is surrounded by rural areas, which is important. I would love to go RIGHT NOW, but I still have to finish up shitty shitty shit school.
You also have to enjoy microbrews, artisanal hooch, and be cool with public nudity.
Sounds like paradise.
Isn’t this how you ended up married, T&U?
Hell, that was pretty much my wedding.
Hell, that was pretty much my wedding.
Got pix?
Yes, I went there.
Chris
I wouldn’t cause any grief in New York. The Old Bill have shooters!
Years spent following Bristol City / England away means I know how to make myself scarce when needs be.
Yes, I went there.
Of course you did! That’s okay; it’s expected.
Of course you did! That’s okay; it’s expected.
It’s your own fault, you: the way you dress, you had it coming with the pointy toe shoes….
I kind of want to try White Castle too, it’s like a bad curry house… When your drunk, it doesn’t matter what the food is like, as long as they serve you
Lobbey said
I actually prefer bad curry house’s when drunk. When you are in that state you don’t want the delicate flavours of a proper curry, you just want magno chutney, something hot with a naan and bombay aloo. A decent curry when you are in that state is a waste of money.
and dave, the greggs steak slice, it really makes you look very hard at yourself
it really makes you look very hard at yourself
Who wants that when you’re drunk????
exactly, and it’s an added bonus if they don’t throw you out if you chuck up and/or sing football songs
It’s your own fault, you: the way you dress, you had it coming with the pointy toe shoes….
Not to mention discussions of nudity and drunkenness–something a lady would never do!
it’s an added bonus if they don’t throw you out if you chuck up and/or sing football songs
The only thing you can’t do at a White Castle is wear gang colors. It’s considered neutral turf by all concerned.
Of course, that made for some tense moments when the “Black Bandana Trombone Band” walked in after a gig at Elephas….
Not to mention discussions of nudity and drunkenness–something a lady would never do!
Who accused you of being a lady?
actor, vailed penis reference
actor212
That’s why I said earlier that the steak slice is generally eaten whilst crying. You aren’t in a good place when you are eating a steak slice.
Lobbey
I’m a big believer that football songs should only been sung before, during, and for a couple of hours after, the match. Anymore is a bit overkill.
Who do you follow?
My apologies, Lobbey. I should have made note of that.
actor, vailed penis reference
In reference to me? I don’t have one of those.
You aren’t in a good place when you are eating a steak slice.
What exactly is a steak slice? Is it just sliced steak (or “steak”) on a bun?
We’re defending Taco Hell in favor of White Castle? Eeeeep.
Puh-lease. You call those intellectuals? If they are so intellectual, how come they don’t have TV shows?
Yes, admittedly, you can click over to frickin’ Znet and have your damn fill of Corner-equivalents (except with a sense of humor, some book-larnin’ and a working knowledge of reality so I guess not really “equivalent” as the word is usually used) and yet none of them have three-hour radio shows, teevee exposure on CNN or shiny glossy magazines at the checkout at 7-11. Goshes, I guess that invalidates everything they say! Wheee!
Oh, for just ONE liberal Glennbeck or Pigman. JUST ONE.
We’re defending Taco Hell in favor of White Castle? Eeeeep.
Just me. I can’t eat any of that crap anymore, anyway, so as far as I’m concerned, White Castle can win.
What exactly is a steak slice?
Having traveled quite a bit over there, I would imagine it’s kidney or some equally offal shit.
I’ve been out of the loop, it appears to be a Steak bake
http://www.greggs.co.uk/menu/savouries/steak-bake
I’ve been out of the loop, it appears to be a Steak bake
Six of one, half dozen of the other: it goes by both names, altho the original is the slice and the new and *koffkoff* improved steak bake is the chili lattice
http://www.greggs.co.uk/menu/new-products/chilli-steak-lattice
I would imagine it’s kidney or some equally offal shit.
Oh please no meat puns.
I’ve been out of the loop, it appears to be a Steak bake
Dude, even the picture looks awful. I’m not judging, but now I totally get what you’re saying.
Best description of Greggs food once again comes from the Profanisaurus
Greggs revenge – descriptive of the delightfully rich aroma produced when one steps on a duck after consuming a Greggs steak bake
I guess I can say I literally do not get the White Castle thing, as they apparently don’t exist west of the Mississippi.
Not that CA doesn’t have its fair share of goofy chains.
For an added bonus, view the amount of fat in one Steak bake. Incredible.
descriptive of the delightfully rich aroma produced when one steps on a duck
What does stepping on a duck…..ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I guess I can say I literally do not get the White Castle thing, as they apparently don’t exist west of the Mississippi.
They do, but apparently not that far west.
I’d love a real pastrami sandwich in San Francisco.
Dunno about San Fran, but San Diego has a rather nice deli called DZ Akins. Quality lean pastrami and plenty of fine kosher goodness. (Also good dill pickles, and I’m saying this as someone who prefers the sweet-and-sour kind.)
In Georgia the version here of White Castle is Krystal’s, which I was curious to try until I did, at which point I wondered why anyone would want hamburger-greased flavored paper pulp served on a steamed dinner roll.
One is about 65 grams and 130 calories, a McDonald’s regular hamburger 100 grams and 250 calories, and they usually come in packs of 3, so the smaller appearance isn’t in any way healthier. Crappy and bad tasting.
Apparently it was a Depression era thing.
I recall going to a White Castle with the family while visiting relatives in Detroit. I was about six or seven years old. We quite liked going to those places with the golden arches which had started to crop up. In we went and saw what the “hamburgers” were. We laughed and said what the hell, let’s give it a try. When we had them in hand, I opened one and held the patty up so that we all could roar about how it was so thin it holes – you could literally see through it.
That would have been about 1965 or so. I’ve never been back.
I guess I can say I literally do not get the White Castle thing, as they apparently don’t exist west of the Mississippi.
They prolly have them in the freezer section of your local chain supermarket.
My opinion – get the cheezburgerz.
TruculentandUnreliable
Yeah, the crux of British humour is about said bodily function
You feeble drunkards.
You may revel in your extensive knowledge of Sliders, but the Real Amurkins know a long night is best finished with a stop for a 5-way and some Coneys.
<a href= http://www.campwashingtonchili.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=AAC19FDA-4757-12EB-A41C534ADCABDBA5Tradition demands it.
It’s not quite vindaloo but the idea’s the same.
the crux of British humour is about said bodily function
Which is partly why I love British humo(u)r so.
You feeble drunkards.
Nah. Carnitas tacos at Taqueria San Jose after a night at the 500 Club or the Rite Spot.
Old.
Re: Steak Bakes.
Oh. The British version of these things.
http://www.bigoven.com/161111-Jamaican-Meat-Patties-recipe.html You can get those from roach coaches that visit construction sites in S Fla. And riding around in a steamer for 3 hours doesn’t do them any good.
Look, are you asking for the Minutemen to knock on your door or what?
Late night Chicken & Waffles will do.
Unlike you, me, and B^4, she’s a little miniature person.
Wait till you guys meet me.
Big Zombie, just like the Mekons song.
Look, are you asking for the Minutemen to knock on your door or what?
They didn’t have a chapter in San Francisco, at least not when I was there.
Are they claiming to be able to deliver food to my door much faster than the Mexican restaurants?
I would love to be able to get good a) Indian food, b) Vietnamese food, c) Thai food, and d) middle Eastern food. We have a good vegan cafe and that’s about it.
check.
check.
check.
and check.
Hey, Milwaukee ain’t that bad!
Look, are you asking for the Minutemen to knock on your door or what?
d Boon is dead.
a stop for a 5-way and some Coneys
A 5-way with some coneys?
Looks like the rich are doing better these days.
How’d you get your RA’s #? I avoided mine like the plague. Mostly because I was doing illegal/dangerous/frowned upon things.
true story. My second semester in college, the RA was a Vietnam vet. He regularly busted all the freshman for those frowned upon things. But since I was hanging with the somewhat older students, who just didn’t give a shit, he didn’t bother us. Once, on our way through the woods to a party, we asked him why.
“the kids, they think they are fooling me with the window fans and air fresheners and towels under the door. So I take their privileged preconceptions away. You guys don’t try to fool anybody. I respect that.”
A 5-way with some coneys?
I saw that on XTube.
Golden Gate Minutemen.
The Golden Gate Quartet.
Hot coney action
With a pre-built Janux caption for great sorrow.
El Cid said,
Oh, a new chain?
Golden Gate Minutemen.
Not so much in San Francisco. You leave the city, you takes your chances.
Oh, a new chain?
Bubububub…the Dow hit 11,000 (eleventy !!11!11)
Depression? Tha’s unpossible!
PENIS.
Oh, Sadlynaughts! At times you are so cryptic that I am too lazy to figure out what you’re saying, but when you get ANGRY you are brilliant and beautiful; and as funny as Vonnegut, Heller, and Ben Tripp put together.
I was thinking that I would think about the little contribution I might make to this thread during a taxi ride I took this morning. Was thinking that the answer is not for most of us to WORK HARDER, or WORK LONGER, but to get paid and to have bargaining power. To my everlasting surprise, the 25 minutes of conversation I had with the cab driver (whom I had never met) was so utterly fulfilling and gratifying that it would take considerable time for me to even write a worthy outline. The conversation flowed back and forth like wine, exorcising completely the shit-monkey demon of class warfare that is the subject of this post. I guess key themes were economic rent, empire, and toxic media. The conversation—in the immortal words of Laurie Anderson—was thick enough to stun an ox. Nary a rant or whine—just calling “bullshit” like most working class people used to be able to do, all the time.
That said, I am a woman who gets piss shivers, too. And, I have experienced the morbid curiosity of watching someone eat at White Castle but I like myself too much to do so. I used to consider Arby’s to be a form of urban survival akin to drinking guano in the desert. WC is inferior to that.
And now, for some more
high-lulz entertainmenthateful lies from da Catolick Choich.“I have been told recently.”
Heh.
How convenient.
But wait!
Sex with young girls?
Da choich is full of mystery.
In honour of K-Pax’s POOH-lizter:
.
.
VAGINA.
just calling “bullshit” like most working class people used to be able to do, all the time.
I had a very similar conversation with my boss today. Financial stress prompted the conversation and he was extraordinarily comforting and free of bullshit. Lot’s of agreement on the state of the economy, the high cost of living, and what it means to be past the middle of your life and be up to your neck in debt(him) or with nary a farthing (me). Clean, healthy appraisal of the situation.
(He also tossed me a nice little raise–after a month there –and the promise of more integral involvement in the company).
Baby steps, baby.
Speaking of hard working, classy CEO’s
Fuck You Don Blankenship!
Oh, Spag. “Lot’s”
*sigh*
You now your not all their when you do that.
Baby steps, baby.
Congratulations! It’s good to hear good news.
So I see 460 comments and we’re still debating the relative value(lessness) of local crap food.
I love White Castle myself, but I think Harlan Ellison summed it up best:
“Whatever animal it once was, it was an unhappy one.”
Congratulations! It’s good to hear good news.
Thank you. Yeah, a little bit here, a little bit there. I’ll take it.
Oh, but you can’t be POOR, you have a COMPUTER!
/Libertarian blurp blurp snog snog flibberty-floo rustle rustle
My personal code monkey is taking a test on statistics right now, so I’m posting this mess. Sorry.
It looks like someone needs to read this study on religious profiles of sex offenders.
http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:cIyzj4aD8swJ:hules.us/SCI_SUM2.pdf+sexual+abuse+and+authoritarian&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESgGA5ar-CDP2xcXAVMxjeqiS26RpWOWVwakJ_ZsWt2M00VH7S56jKPZ7YnJ6anwtx8v16zcwa47N370SSk9Ubto6KVnKjvyjiDAYVGgaHSCug2Co4jDiK-qLMSw60msZoUadAV_&sig=AHIEtbSM225mLq4U4uOyqb7LkwtQaSXwZg
I would love to be able to get good a) Indian food, b) Vietnamese food, c) Thai food, and d) middle Eastern food. We have a good vegan cafe and that’s about it.
I have to go almost 3 km from home to hit all four of those, but I live in the ‘burbs.
I don’t want to be like the Republicans and start trying to apply “the way things feel to me” in the face of scientific research – which, if there is scientific research, I’d appreciate it if he’d post it – but I’m still going to say this;
In my non-scientific opinion, there’s no way in hell celibacy can not be correlated. It’s not natural to live like that, especially when, by the rules of the church, you’re not even allowed to pleasure yourself. There’s no way in hell you can suppress such a basic human instinct so completely, and not expect it to come out in screwed up ways. Mostly harmless, I expect; but not in this case.
On the other way, I don’t see how homosexuality affects anything but the pedophile’s choice of gender in his targets. Once again, I’d be obliged if the Church stopped trying to change the subject and fucking admitted its sins, without trying to soften the blow with idiotic attempts to deflect their sins onto feminists/gays/liberals/people who like to have sex.
Is there some other nationwide or international church which is estimated to have somewhere around 1 in every 20 of its priests or preachers sexually abusing underage church members?
I mean, if the Roman Catholic Church is wanting to make speculative accusations that this stems from homosexuality, are they trying to suggest that their criminal conspiracies to enable and protect from prosecution child rape is going on in every other religion / denomination? Where’s the evidence?
O. My. Gawd.
Pooplitzer Prize winning columnist K-Pax actually penned “hirsute abyss of God’s little oven” as a metaphor for vagina. I don’tknow whether to laugh or cry.
VAGINA
Awesome.
On the other way, I don’t see how homosexuality affects anything but the pedophile’s choice of gender in his targets
A little research into pedophilia reveals that sexual orientation likely has little to do with the sex of the victims. The psychologists who study such things say that otherwise hetero identifying pedophiles will rape little boys if they are available – the sex doesn’t really matter, only their sexual immaturity.
Some people just can’t fathom pussy.
Awesome.
If it weren’t for FYWP, I’d bring some more awesome (for values of awesome that approach creepy as fucking hell from the wrong side). Ah, what the heck, here goes attempt number two:
VULVA.
Okay FYWP. You win this round (and the last one too).
what’s the opinion of the Man Boy Transubstatiation Association?
VAGINA.
I would love to be able to get good a) Indian food, b) Vietnamese food, c) Thai food, and d) middle Eastern food. We have a good vegan cafe and that’s about it.
I have to go almost 3 km from home to hit all four of those, but I live in the ‘burbs.
I have to go almost four blocks. Brooklyn’s tough, baby.
I’ve always been a Farolito guy myself. They put something in the beans that I don’t think I want identified, but is delicious.
If you peer too deeply into the Hot Pocket…
I’ve always thought that pedophilia within the CC was a matter of self-selection:
1) Good Catholic boy reaches puberty and is horrified to find himself attracted to other boys;
2) GCB makes up his mind to become a priest, reasoning that God will remove/sanctify his sexual desires;
3) GCB becomes a priest, finds out it doesn’t work like that, and remains fixated on the kind of pubescent boys he was originally attracted to.
Also, fixxoring teh post title…
seems more to bobo’s point, really.
Brooklyn’s tough, baby.
I remember being in less suburban conditions and having in a four block walk – a great sushi place, a good sushi place, a trattoria, mediocre greek and mediocre chinese, a fantastic indian place, a good thai place and a home made ice cream joint. But nowadays I get to mow a lawn! And yell at kids to stay offa it.
But nowadays I get to mow a lawn!
Veiled pubic hair reference?
Veiled pubic hair reference?
I told you kids to STAY OFFA MAH LAWN!
Speaking of Brooklyn, was it yer mom what teach you to drive like that?
Speaking of Brooklyn, was it yer mom what teach you to drive like that?
Very disappointing. It stopped being realistic about a block from where I’m sitting. I WANT MY HOME IN CRAPPY INTERNET VIDEOS.
D-KW – thanks for pointing me to the new whiteboard by sharkey! Will post it shortly. Don’t want to step on the one I just put up.
block quotey shit:
I would love to be able to get good a) Indian food, b) Vietnamese food, c) Thai food, and d) middle Eastern food. We have a good vegan cafe and that’s about it.
I have to go almost 3 km from home to hit all four of those, but I live in the ‘burbs.
I have to go almost four blocks. Brooklyn’s tough, baby
BWAHAHBWAHAHHAHAHA
In great Portlandistan they are ALL ON THE SAME BLOCK.!. HAH!ONE1!
While we’re on the topic, I’m trying to re-create fritessaus, aka frietsaus. I make mayo frequently, and usually include some Dijon moutard. Still, there’s a certain je nais se quois that differentiates mayonnaise and frietsaus.
ALL ON THE SAME BLOCK
Oh yeah? It might be over a “four block” span again, but we also gots two bowling alleys, a strip joint and a place that reeks of cat pee.
Not impressed? Think again – four blocks and only one place that reeks of cat pee. Can you say that about your city?
Sweet christ, rub it in why dontcha.
I’ve gotta drive something like 500 miles just for a Trader Joe’s.
I can’t contribute much to the food discussion but I would like to say I’m overjoyed to find a thread this long that isn’t one huge bar of trollscat.
I’m overjoyed to find a thread this long that isn’t one huge bar of trollscat.
How do you feel about trolls’ dogs?
SOCIALISM!!! ARglrBlarGLE! Betcha miss Bush now. How’s that Hopey changing your Kenyan usurpitude? ADDRESS MY POINT LIBS!
I’m overjoyed to find a thread this long that isn’t one huge bar of trollscat.
No shit. I saw “460 comments” and immediately thought “Fuck, I’ll click on it, but I bet about 100 of those fuckers are from trolls, and the other 360 are people who should know better than to answer”.
The most powerful people were helpless little babies without their secretaries’ help. I think it’s true in a lot of organizations today. Don’t fuck with the support staff.
Well, I certainly wasn’t one of those helpless little babies, but then, I am a pharoah. And a goddess. That is, I am precisely what those little whiny CEO babies like to imagine themselves to be.
One key difference (apart from the divinity)? I treated my staff well! My scribes were paid with more grain than they could possibly use; they were regularly given bonuses of rolls of linen and vials of precious oils; and they had optimal work conditions (natural light, but well-shaded). Oh, and their meals were included.
Why? Because scribes can fuck you up in more ways than you can possibly imagine. You know all those so-called “early” pyramids, the ones that archaeologists claim were the result of trial and error? Nope. Someone got a scribe mad, and before you know it you’ve the Bent Pyramid on your hands.
Hatshepsut raises a good point.
If a company’s CEO dies suddenly, it doesn’t stop production. Profitable returns can continue to be generated without the CEO.
If no one shows up to run the machines that make the widgets, no one’s making any money.
The ‘producers” are the people without whose labor there is no product. That generally does not include the CEO or upper management.
A satisfying phrase. Don’t go on.
Oh, you cynics wouldn’t be laughing if you saw the tearjerking, moving film A Day Without A CEO, showing how our lives would be thrown into chaos if one day, just one day, we had to survive when chief executives and presidents of companies went Galt.
A Day Without A CEO,
Can’t wait for the prequel.
A Day With A CEO?
3 die in brawl over penis size
The argument apparently began when a patron of Indian descent made a comment about the size of a white patron’s genitals while both were at the tavern’s urinals.
http://www.news24.com/printArticle.aspx?iframe&aid=02734fa3-99e8-46e1-9805-7bca3e350ee7&cid=1059
makes the baby Jonah cry.
A Day With A CEO?
No no no. Here, watch the trailer.
A Night With Thong And Ketchup?
Jeepers El Cid, Derbyshire says
“We all notice the different physical specialties of the different races in the Olympic Games”
Look whatever drugs he is taking, he needs to get off them. It is a public safety thing more than anything.
You fucking gauge “physical specialties” from the fucking Olympic games!!?? So, ah, all Kiwis are good at riding bicycles?? Oh wait we are the white race not the black race, though some of us are brown.
Are they good at bike riding, one of them won the American Open so they must be good at golf!!!
Is it only the white race who are good at riding bicycles, or just the New Zealand race???
Fucking hell.
I think Derbyshire is a moron, I wonder how he remembers to breathe.
Oh, hard right racists think it’s cute and daring and entertaining to watch a roomful of black law students and professors listen to you tell them they’re genetically inferior though they might be able to run really fast and they should treasure that.
I think Derbyshire is a moron, I wonder how he remembers to breathe.
Good question – it’s all about rhythm, innit?
Can’t run the Army without the NCOs. Can’t run a hospital without nurses. And what’s a talk show host without his script writers? Come to think of it, I’m having a hard time thinking of any organization that would work without its support staff.
Thing is, our lives would be thrown into chaos if you eliminated most any profession – and the most lower-class and unpaid the profession, it seems, the more vital it is. Just try to imagine living in a city without janitors, or people to pick up the trash. Almost every job out there is one vital enough that if it ends, society stops functioning. When you think about it that way, these worthless blue-collars hicks CONTINUE was laughing at yesterday don’t seem to useless anymore.
to be fair, a buck and a half of them are probably zombie comments or discussion of killing zombies.
You are all hateful, really you are.
Oh, you cynics wouldn’t be laughing if you saw the tearjerking, moving film A Day Without A CEO,”
Pleh. UNDERCOVER BOSS
“Oh, you cynics wouldn’t be laughing if you saw the tearjerking, moving film A Day Without A CEO…”
Pleh. UNDERCOVER BOSS is bad enough, thank you.
Blast. Sorry…
Blasting CEOs is somewhat unkind, but we enjoy it when someone else does the blasting.
I can’t contribute much to the food discussion but I would like to say I’m overjoyed to find a thread this long that isn’t one huge bar of trollscat.
On the other hand, all we really replaced it with was a discussion as to the best (worst) foodstuff to get commentatorscat.
A Day Without A CEO
I found I preferred Jerry Lewis’s great unfinished drama, “The Day the CFO Cried”
Leave Brooksy alone. He’s a good egg. Plus he’s not wrong on this one. It’s hard having to claw your way to the top the way guys like Brooksy and I did. When I think of my own childhood–the exclusive summer camps, golf lessons until my fingers almost blistered, learning which fork to use. It would have broken a lesser person.
Last week I was on the East Coast and Brooksy and I snagged a table at Per Se and we were having a nice leisurely conversation about how hard it can be being us, and he looked at me and said, avuncularly, “You know E$, the internet. That’s the future.”
And I wrote that down and said “You may be right, sir. Say, do you know if you’ll be naming your own successor?”
He said “Yes, probably.”
So I said “Mr. Brooks, sir, the next glass of sherry is on me.” He looked at me, approvingly, and I pretended not to notice as a stream of drool and Per Se’s famous pesto sauce dribbled down his cheek.
Life is hard, but sometimes the good guys win, ya know?
E$ is Audi, kids!
Crimson the urban fairy just died exaggeratedly. I don’t know how he got stuck in that book. Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an urban fairy dies that has been pointedly close to someone here, that urban fairy goes to Rainbow Bridge.
Crimson the urban fairy just died exaggeratedly. I don’t know how he got stuck in that book. Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an urban fairy dies that has been pointedly close to someone here, that urban fairy goes to Rainbow Bridge.
Worst Thomas M. Disch ripoff EVAH.
I’d rather get back to basting the CEO’s. A little beetroot jus as well?
I’m overjoyed to find a thread this long that isn’t one huge bar of trollscat.
Needs more junkpunching. Of Bobo. With a steam hammer.
Needs more junkpunching. Of Bobo. With a steam hammer.
Yes please. Another sir. A kick perhaps? With the cowboy boots sir?
Plainly stating that Team A beat Team B due to dumb luck, then claiming in the next breath that Team A’s success was the result of sweating it out = a perfect microcosm of how class is dealt with in today’s world.
An old saying that still rings true: if you can’t dazzle them with briliance, baffle them with bullshit.
“I got this Senate seat/chairmanship/stock portfolio/oil company through the toil & sacrifice that made my family great! Pay no attention to the $275,000,000 trust-fund behind the curtain!”
“When I have ‘lunch mettings,’ it’s not just about the tax writeoff, man! Spitballing ideas for a new ad campaign & keeping up with office gossip while hoovering canapes & pounding back martinis is HARD WORK!”
Teachers, janitors & all the other worker-bees of our social hive can only dream of taking year-long “sabbaticals” or multi-year “breaks” to write books or “find themselves” … & one suspects that they don’t exactly break out in song when they contemplate trying to live on disability &/or a pension once they are extruded from the far end of the labor-market meatgrinder – unlike the True Sons Of Toil, who can CHOOSE to retire at 45 or 50 to dodder around huge estates or go on a “Whorehouses Of The World” tour in the vain attempt to spend all their loot before they flatline.
Cockpunch Brooks, indeed – with the main weapon-system of a fully operational Death Star.
No, this is hateful.
Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the cockpunching room!
If all of the population of China were to line up around the equator, and one Chinese national stepped forward every second and punched Bobo in the nuts, because of the rate of procreation of those waiting in line, Bobo would never stop being punched in the nuts.
(The Moustache of Understanding, he gets the population of the Indian subcontinent, who will dazzle him with their cheaply-coded nutpunching-tracking software. While punching him in the nutz, while wearing Pizza Hut baseball caps.)
Uk Bristol Dave…
sorry, was off to bed, too much of the weekend…. myself, St Johnstone and we dont’ usually have much to sing about. But there is a curry house in Glasgow that always seems to be full of one set of Old Firm fans singing and/or throwing up.
Bobo would never stop being punched in the nuts.
You say that like it’s a bad thing!
(The Moustache of Understanding, he gets the population of the Indian subcontinent, who will dazzle him with their cheaply-coded nutpunching-tracking software. While punching him in the nutz, while wearing Pizza Hut baseball caps.)
Great interest, for-profit newsletter, pay-for-play website…
So, the great Bo-Bo spends the weekend stabbing the “Real, Red-State Americans” in the face, so he can more perfectly snort, gobble, suckle, and tongue the ball-sack that is the Wall Street financial money makers. His article should be posted on the inside face of kitchen doors in every Applebee’s in the land. So that the lazy wait-staff (veiled you-know-what reference) can treat him with the dignity and deference one of his social position deserves.
Once he finished his salad (OMFG, THAT’S NOT THOUSAND ISLAND DRESSING), they may begin the exploratory cock-punching. I recommend using #8 rebar, for extra freshness.
I’d write it in an authoritative voice, no snark, with loads of references and citations and quotes, under a pseudonym; then start a stealth campaign to get people aware of it
You could call it “Report from Iron Mountain”.
“We all notice the different physical specialties of the different races in the Olympic Games”
Some of us even notice how “race associated with Olympic category X” has changed over the decades.
Some of us even notice how “race associated with Olympic category X” has changed over the decades.
Ah, for the days when the Parthians dominated equestrian events…
Oh, I forgot good sushi! We have two sushi places, and they both fucking suck…I don’t get it.
Lawrence is smaller, and they have an excellent sushi place, a really, really good Vietnamese place, a fucking amazing Indian place, and a pretty good Middle Eastern place. I hate this fucking town.
I have to go almost 3 km from home to hit all four of those, but I live in the ‘burbs.
WAAAAAAAH. I’d have to drive at least 100 miles to get anything like that.
I’d have to drive at least 100 miles to get anything like that.
But think of all the delicious roadkill you’d pick up in the process.
But think of all the delicious roadkill you’d pick up in the process.,/i>
Mmmm, possum stew!
Really, they should call I-70 going through Missouri “Roadkill Corridor.”
Italics FAIL.
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican’s secretary of state, made the comments during a news conference Monday in Chile, where one of the church’s highest-profile pedophile cases involves a priest having sex with young girls.
“Many psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relation between celibacy and pedophilia. But many others have demonstrated, I have been told recently, that there is a relation between homosexuality and pedophilia. That is true,” said Bertone. “That is the problem.”
Damn, what were the odds the FIRST EVER lady priest would turn out to be a lesbian?
In great Portlandistan they are ALL ON THE SAME BLOCK.!. HAH!ONE1!
In Noo Yawk, they’re in the same restaurant.
Nothing worse than rolling over onto a cold hunk of tomato in the back seat of a Buick when you’re hungover.
No gentleman would describe his previous night’s conquest in these unchivalrous terms.
No gentleman would describe his previous night’s conquest in these unchivalrous terms.
Mea culpa. It will be the last time I pick up a Russian chick.
No gentleman would describe his previous night’s conquest in these unchivalrous terms.
Mea culpa. It will be the last time I pick up a Russian chick.