Do you mind? My computer does not have a Douche adjustment and that picture is giving me major sads.

Every picture I’ve ever seen of Jim Hoff makes him look like he’s about to get into a fight with his own reflection.

Shorter.

Trust it, always.

I take issue with the shorter, for once. It should read:

Al Gore caused global warming, which caused a not-crazy man in Argentina to kill his family (except for the baby, which lived).

Every picture I’ve ever seen of Jim Hoff makes him look like he’s about to get into a fight with his own reflection.

I’d attack that shit too if I saw it dorking up my mirror.

And then I’d cry.

he’s about to get into a fight with his own reflection.
Perhaps he would be less grumpy if someone gave him a cuttlefish bone to gnaw on.

What is it with the “shorter” that compels me to click through? The dynamic couldn’t be more clear: I see a warning by someone that has gone before me, and the warning immediately makes me go there.

It’s like a little suicide I commit fifty times a week.

Listen: if Al Gore tells me to kill myself and my family I will do it because he is the voice of true socialism.

Cuttlefish ain’t got bones. There’s sort of a bic pen kind of cartilage thing, but no bones.

Now, if only he’d burned down his family’s house and crashed a plane into an IRS building as a protest against Big Government, then he’s totally sane. Right?

I’d attack that shit too if I saw it dorking up my mirror.

I just peed a little.

A seven-month-old girl miraculously survived alone for three days after one of her parents shot her in the chest ….Someone should sue Al Gore. He played on their fears and now a whole family is dead.

…well, most of a family… and then there’s the miracle (praise what’s-his-name!) … not to mention the playful aspect…global warming suicide – redundant or what?

Cuttlefish ain’t got bones. There’s sort of a bic pen kind of cartilage thing, but no bones.
I meant ‘boner’.

Someone should sue Al Gore.
Jim Hoff would file suit himself, but he has other priorities, and an old knee injury.

That’s a great look on you, Jim.

Why do you guys keep splitting up the word “Algore?”

Well, obviously Algore’s behind it! Have you guys noticed how it’s WARM in the Southern Hempishere now, despite it being EARLY MARCH? Sounds like a plot to cook up support for his “science” agenda, wouldn’t you say? Oh, and according to my sources, Argentina is in the Southern Hemisphere! Verrrrrrrry strange….

Results 1 – 10 of about 8,880,000 for religious parents deny treatment to child. (0.44 seconds

You know, you can just see the Stupid, as intemperate and bad a generalization as that can be, in his head and face and haircut.

But c’mon, I rest my case anyway.

.44 seconds? That’s, like, almost a minute. What is Google trying to hide?

Your most brilliant photoshop work to date, Tintin.

…wait…you mean it’s not photoshopped?

Dear god.

Also, too:
“Someone does need to sue Al Gore. I realize the hoax was intended to enrich al and friends and deliver unlimited power but stories like this are proof that they went way too far for purely selfish reasons.”

Now the stupid are formulating stupid reasons why other people are responsible for stupid people being stupid.

Al Gore once hugged a tree in Mozambique just to hear it sigh.

Now the stupid are formulating stupid reasons why other people are responsible for stupid people being stupid.

The Party of Personal Responsibility!

BTW, Mr. Hoff has a distinct Napoleon Dynamite vibe going there.

In comments:

See this is what happens when people trade in worship of the Creator for created things.

I can’t for the life of me think of a time when anything bad happened as a result of the belief in God.

Every picture I’ve ever seen of Jim Hoff makes him look like he’s about to get into a fight with his own reflection taking a shit in public.

Like my dogs, that’s been fixed.*

Although, his head already looked like his neck took a gravity-defying POOP, so maybe the original was spot-on … so my apologies.

(* Not sure that’s the term they’d use.)

Man, First Things has sure gone off the deep end, haven’t they? First the Pretend Nun, now this guy? I mean, I remember when I was in (Catholic) high school, First Things was pretty conservative, authoritarian, and doctrinaire, but they at least had the sense to avoid the overtly crazy shit that is Gateway Pundit’s bread and butter.

I mean, I can see people who would have otherwise had a favorable opinion of that magazine/newsletter/whatever it is just totally being driven away by this. I may be mistaken but Catholics tend to like their depravity a little more subtle than that.

See this is what happens when people trade in worship of the Creator for created things.

Argentine press says the husband was a folk healer (curandero) and parapsychologist, so not quite.

.44 seconds? That’s, like, almost a minute.

I never could make out what those damn dots meant.

See this is what happens when people trade in worship of the Creator for created things.

The Creator for created things doesn’t like it when people worship trade?

Huh?

See this is what happens when people trade in worship of the Creator…

Precisely why I am not in the market for creator worship – it’s a lousy trade, that.

If you follow the link to the original article in El Litoral, you will see that the police have no official explanation for the cause of the murder-suicide.

The article also explains that the father (note, 55, wife, 23) is a rich inheritor of a family fortune, and considered himself a “shaman” or traditional healer and “parapsychologist”.

Unofficial declarations by police suggest that the shaman wrote a letter in which he predicted the “end of the world,” as the paramagically gifted are wont to do, and this time the culprit might have been global warming.

Take that, Al Gore!

El Cid beat me to it. The original article doesn’t mention global warming at all, of course. This is what you get when crap is filtered through the NY Daily News (not the NY Post as the Gateway idiot labels his own link) via the London Telegraph via someone’s asshole. And speaking of assholes, Mickey Kaus may run for the US Senate! yay!

Other Argentine news reports do say the letter expressed concern over global warming and frustration over politicians’ failure to act on it. A judge currently has the letter.

Other Argentine news reports do say the letter expressed concern over global warming and frustration over politicians’ failure to act on it. A judge currently has the letter.

That is what I alluded to, but, again, there is no official declaration on this case.

However, one might think that declaring oneself a magical healer and expert in the paranormal might just distinguish oneself from the typical liberal acceptor of scientific global warming theory.

After all, the crazy people in LA who committed mass suicide because the cult leader told them they’d catch a passing comet apparently didn’t serve to discredit ‘comet theory’.

“My computer does not have a Douche adjustment and that picture is giving me major sads.”

Douche adjustment is available for your iPhone for a nominal fee. Get it now!

You liberals can try to weasel out, but YOU are reponsable. Your loonacy caused this child to die, with your false, blind worship of so-called science that is biased.

Let’s not be hasty, where was Cheney on the day of the “alleged” suicide/assault?

BTW, in the comment there is a link back to this bit of insanity Palin attacker Tom Tancredo, A Tea Party Loose Cannon; dump this idiot now because apparently Tancredo isn’t crazy enough for the Teabaggers. Why “In my view, Tancredo is the best thing that has happened for the Leftists with regard to the Tea Party Movement.” God only knows.

Why is the blog roll at the bottom?

Familia masacrada en Goya

As opposed to familia masacrada de Goya.

Your loonacy caused this child to die
I see what you do there.

Argentine press says the husband was a folk healer (curandero) and parapsychologist,

A witch! A witch!

Waiting for Pat Robertson to tell us that this is what happens when people make deals with the devil, who is Al Gore (obviously).

Comment from noen’s link:

HAHAHAHHAHA!!! I hear the libs now have the “Coffee Party”… hahahahahahahaha!! LOSERS!!

Twoofie, get over there, there’s still time enough for love!

Why is the blog roll at the bottom?
It rolled there. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

Fuck fuck fuck.

ALWAYS TRUST THE SHORTER. And for FSM’s sake, don’t read the fucking comments.

Your loonacy caused this child to die
I see what you do there.

You do? Could you explain it to me?

Mickey Kaus is running for the Senate? Seriously??? See what an inspiration Scotty “Pink Leather Shorts” Brown has become!!

You do? Could you explain it to me?
Parody troll is overdoing the stupid… gilding the pudding, or over-egging the lily, or however it goes. Child is NOT DEAD.

Why is the blog roll at the bottom?
It rolled there. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

That’s just how it rolls, baby!

So, the bebe lived? Bwahahaha, now eet gets to die in zee global warming oven fest! Algore wins!!!!!!!!!!!

Child is NOT DEAD.

He’s just pining for Tierra del Fuego?

“Someone does need to sue Al Gore (insert religion here). I realize the hoax was intended to enrich al (insert religion’s leader here) and friends and deliver unlimited power but stories like this are proof that they went way too far for purely selfish reasons.”

whered my strike throughs go? they were in the preview, oh well.

Bog roll on bottom seems to happen in the new version of Firefox, not in Chrome or even IdExploder.

I find this story totally believable. We Americans are so fascinating to people everywhere. Isn’t it amazing that people who live in other countries are just so mesmerized by parochial American politics that they kill themselves and their families?

Why, in Estonia entire villages are in an uproar over the health care reform budget reconciliation issue. Not to mention the buzz going on in Slovakian cafes over new zoning laws in Philadelphia.

This has, of course, only happened with religious fanatic parents two or three or a thousand times.

<strike> not <s>.

You know who else believed in killing children?

Why, in Estonia entire villages are in an uproar over the health care reform budget reconciliation issue

Hey, if I was a person living in a relatively small, poor country that had been part of the USSR within living memory, I’d be wondering why American health care doesn’t match up to mine. Can hardly blame ’em.

As a jim, I must register an official protest … I hear both “Fuckhead” & “Shitferbrains” are available.

Via Wonkette, I offer you one & all a thing of beauty & wonder.

The mighty Kaus is indeed on the move. Vote Goat!

I got out of the boat.

Now I need to kill myself.

Someone please sue Tintin for bringing this article to my attention.

The comments over there burn with the stupid…

Urd

Catholics tend to like their depravity a little more subtle than that.

Yeah. Subtle like sexually abusing children. Children of their “flock.”

Granted, they had the discretion to avoid doing it in public, unlike Hoft here, who insists on taking a big public shit on the internons, but still.

(could only read about that far, had to post, must now go to bed. I’m not picking on you, Simba, just struck by the phrase.)

Hoft is one of those it is never safe to get out of the boat for. And if you’re going to go ashore & read the comments, you might as well just put your head in the tiger’s mouth & get it over w/.

The comments over there burn with the stupid…

There is definitely a fine selection of nitwitocity. For example:
It it the logical result of raising people to believe their destorying the planet.

Who wants to live on a planet that ain’t got no stories?

But my favorite comment is…
It is a shame that Al Gore will not be hold responsible for all the hysteria that has been created.

If there’s global warming, how come Algore is FAT? Answer me that, libs!

Help, I went to the website jim pointed too and now all the comments are coming out like Stephen Hawkings in my head — make it stop!

Algore is fascinating. Notice how fascinating and fascism start with ‘fasci’? No! You didn’t? That’s because he arranged it so you weren’t taught. Even in the past he knew the future. That is why he arranged the one baby to survive. So in 45 years this baby will be the President of your USA!
Get the long vault copy of the birth certificate while you still can people!

Note to the people who run this site: the IBC is stupid. The actual death toll in Iraq is several magnitudes higher than what is reported there.

http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/lancetiraq/

http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2008/11/violent_war_deaths_surveys_vs.php

Okay, I guess it’s my turn for the pedant hat. If you read the article you’ll note that algore also shot the 2-year old son in the back. And as much as I’m a proponent of the notion that two year olds don’t count¹, the score really ought to be 3 for algore (who is fat).

¹FOUR!?!?! That’s it?!?! Gimme a break kid, even Lefty McGee – the victim of that horrible manicure accident last week – can do better than that.

Butt ugly and batshit crazy. Nice.

The mighty Kaus is indeed on the move. Vote Goat!

The article makes no mention of Kaus’s affinity for fellating goats pleasing the electorate. MSM FAIL.

Gateway PunDick looks like his closet door is creaking open.

I always get off the boat and I always regret it. And I always read the comments. This batch is spectacularly depressing. These people are so stupid. How do they wipe their asses without assistance?

This batch is spectacularly depressing. These people are so stupid.

And that, friend, is why you DO NOT GET OUT OF THE BOAT. You may not come back.

These people are so stupid. How do they wipe their asses without assistance?

Do not be deceived. These people do not wipe their asses.

There is some karma at work, this guy’s face looks like a bucket of smashed assholes.

I’ll gladly agree to have Al Gore tried for being part of the movement that provided the belief that scared these guys into committing suicide. If in exchange they’ll agree to have George W. Bush tried for directly and knowingly giving the order that led to the murder of a million Iraqis.

Sue Algore! I wonder why so many conservatives call for tort action?

Whale, Snorg…points taken.

I hear the libs now have the “Coffee Party”…

Oh my god. PLEASE tell me this is just an unsubstantiated rumor…

I don’t feel like using teh gogle.

You know what’s fun? Look at that picture and imagine the voice that would come out of that mess… HA! Somewhere between Ralphie Wiggins and Ferris Bueller’s buddy Cameron’s phone prank voice, I can’t decide.

Pile on!

I hear the libs now have the “Coffee Party”…

Oh my god. PLEASE tell me this is just an unsubstantiated rumor…

It’s true! And it’s a gag. Sort of.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/02/26/DI2010022602928.html

http://coffeepartyusa.com/

I have never in my life seen someone who looks more like a Dan Clowes character.

He’s the offspring of Butthead and Sher Zieve.