Three Wads of Qat!!

Qat…hm. Where can I get some of that?

So here is my new rule of thumb: For every Predator missile we fire at an Al Qaeda target here, we should help Yemen build 50 new modern schools that teach science and math and critical thinking — to boys and girls.

How about this, but without the missiles?

How about this, but without the boys and girls? Why not teach science and math and critical thinking to camels?

I would like to bid for Thomas Friedman’s job, because I think I could summon up a great deal of overwhelmed appreciation for the majesty of the mysterious workings of our worldwide capitalist economic system based on comments from taxi drivers and other low level employees, all at a much lower rate.

How about this, but without the missiles?

Children learn better in smaller classes

Three Wads of Qat!!

I think there’s a Threewadsofqat Lake in Connecticut somewhere…

Alternate shorter: Sometimes you need to fire missiles at a country, and sometimes you need to build schools in a country. Let’s do both to the same country at the same time! I’m sure it will turn out fine.

Fire missiles at your own damned country. I hear you could use new schools.

Three Wads of Qat!!

I bid three qatloos for any thrall but the one on the hat.

I give it about three months before we turn the corner in Yemen.

What if we attached the schools to the missiles? They would either learn to love missiles or hate school. Or maybe the whole thing would just blow up, but then less blowing up to do later.

50 schools for every missile we fire? Damn, how many kids are there in Yemen, anyway?

An authoritarian leadership in Yemen building schools to prepare its people for the future is awesome, but this (PDF) is evil and not worthy of notice.

: Venezuela’s educational performance according to UNESCO has improved significantly since both 1999 and 2006, and is rated many positions above close U.S. ally and recipient of massive amounts of U.S. aid Colombia.

Pssst — don’t tell little Tommy Friedman, as he will argue that a century of maldevelopment should have been fixed by now.

So here is my new rule of thumb: For every Predator missile we fire at an Al Qaeda target here, we should help Yemen build 50 new modern schools that teach science and math and critical thinking — to boys and girls.

Here’s a thought: Instead of wasting all that money on bombing people so we can build some schools, how’s about we spend some of that money rebuilding our own goddamn schools?

Jesus H. Riverdancing Christ on a Big Wheel … what the holy fuck is wrong with these people?

Why are they so eager to spend billions blowing shit up just so we can rebuild it, but are so aghast when someone suggests we spend half that amount providing everyone in the U.S. with basic health care?

I mean, seriously. What. In. The. Fuck?

I’m really starting to think that our species deserves to go extinct—we don’t deserve this place.

Missiles AND schools.

That’s called tough love, libs.

An alternate strategy would be to de-fund and primitivize the American educational system and then try to make the Yemeni feel better because, hey, they’re tied with us now!

“I’m really starting to think that our species deserves to go extinct—we don’t deserve this place.”

I’d rather see their species go extinct. I can’t quite classify the species, but we can do without it. I can say that without reservation.

How do you write this sentence with a straight face and without an ounce of guilt?

For every Predator missile we fire at an Al Qaeda target here, we should help Yemen build 50 new modern schools that teach science and math and critical thinking — to boys and girls.

Another Pulitzer for Mr. Friedman, pleeze.

OH GOD. I just learned about the “pickleback,” which is a shot of Jameson followed by a shot of pickle juice.

We really do need to be wiped out.

Thomas Friedman on freaking schools. HE should talk. Our schools are so damn bad that when he travels he discovers that in the rest of the world, even taxi drivers know a LOT more than he does–and we can assume as one of the Times’ “intellectuals” he received a premium education.

Only if they agree to teach abstinence and Creationism in those schools.

Pearls, I say pearls, of wisdom from my favorite billionaire extraordinaire. Thanks, Tom, you helped me fill my minimum daily requirement of rich-guy insight. Moar, pleeze?

Qat: Helluva an animal. Frequently mistaken for a meatloaf.

Friedman’s finally caught up with the movie of George Crile’s book.

We fucked up the end game in Afghanistan the first time (but the Wall came down!) and then we left. You have to get high to think it will be different this time.
Hey, Tom, don’t Bogart the Qat, man.

Test market this strategy in Texas?

http://www.houstonpress.com/slideshow/view/29258322

For every Predator missile we fire at an Al Qaeda target here, we should help Yemen build 50 new modern schools that teach science and math and critical thinking — to boys and girls.

First lesson: how to make lots of their own Predator missiles to return the favor.

Why are they so eager to spend billions blowing shit up just so we can rebuild it, but are so aghast when someone suggests we spend half that amount providing everyone in the U.S. with basic health care?

Big Daddy Yahweh is a war-god … & your crazy socialist nonsense about keeping tens of thousands from perishing needlessly every year is not only a stench in His Glorious Nostrils, but it also makes Baby Aetna cry! WHY DO YOU HAET AMERICA????///??/?

How about this, but without the missiles

the missiles are the loss-leaders.

Qat is the mildly hallucinogenic leaf drug

^^^ I call bullshit. And FYWP.

I especially like how critical thinking evolves into predator missiles + schools = Yemen + America true love 4ever!

Sorry Tom, but critical thinking by people actually capable of critical thinking leads to the conclusion that predator missiles are not a good way to make friends. But maybe you can sew the pieces of the dead children back together to occupy the seats in your new schools you have proposed.

Looks like lots of people got outta the boat and there’s mockeries but not a lot of teeth gnashing. I’ve “Open in New Window”ed it, and now I have to decide to Alt-Tab or not.

Is no-one else worried about this guys strange desire to combine schools and predators?

Will someone please think of the children, before the guy comes another example of republican “family values”.

DKW,

Friedman has a nice set of man-goes…

Qat doesn’t make youpot high, it makes you speed high.
But I mean he’s right, we totally half-assed the overhaul of our schools in the 90s and then when we got half-assed results we said “throwing money at the problem” failed and blamed the NEA. It’s pretty pathetic.

But maybe you can sew the pieces of the dead children back together to occupy the seats in your new schools you have proposed.

sounds reasonable to me.

‘nother shorter Friedman to help D-KWC decide:
Suck on this, but we’ll cuddle afterwards.

I bid three qatloos for any thrall but the one on the hat.

Ahhhh, I knew it couldn’t take more than 10 comments for that reference to be made.

Zombie reconstructive surgery?

brings a whole new meaning to the Head Start program…

Oh, just jumped off the boat, I misunderstood the shorter. That column is retarded.

You silly lieberals don’t understand. This is the postrational age, nothing has to make sense (whatver that</b< means) it just has to _sound good_.

“How about this, but without the missiles.”

Where’s the fun in that?

I blame WP.

Preemptive “too short”: Friedman is one of our leading postrationalists.

Friedman is an idiot. 1 per 50? We can get the Yemenis to agree to 10 predators per 50 schools. I’m sure of it but this dick is not helping. Next he’ll be offering up three coats of Benjamin Moore paint on every school if we can just drop a couple of daisy cutters and we’ll have to walk that shit back at the negotiating table too.

Friedman is one of our leading prostrate nationalists.

FIXED!

Oh, just jumped off the boat, I misunderstood the shorter. That column is retarded.

Always. Trust. The. Shorter.

Friedman has a nice set of man-goes…

LIAR! OMFG, he’s actually suggesting paying blood prices in infrastructure to support continued random cruise missile strikes.

Where to begin? That it’s inhumanly sick and twisted? I suppose it’s an improvement for lil Tommy that after telling them to SUCK ON THIS, he’s leaving some crumpled bills on the dresser – but fuck.

Or maybe I could enter lil Tommy’s warped world and try to understand how it all makes sense. Afterall, foreign influence on their education back in the 70’s and 80’s (“with the blessing of the U.S.,”) lead to religious extremism, so all we need to do now is apply a shitton of foreign influence on their education.

Or how about the whole magical ponies aspect of it. After all, building hundreds of schools in a foreign country is a piece of cake. You just drop some construction materials in the middle of nowhere and the schools practically build themselves. And they’ll have totally secular, US friendly curriculums. I mean, who wouldn’t just love having that in exchange for a couple of bombed family members? Yemenis. Tommy Friedman said so.

Here’s my Shorter Tommy Friedman:

Only the US can save Yemen from becoming a place where the US is hated and despised. First – bomb them. Then – mess with their kids.

Friedman is one of our leading prostate nationalists.

FIXED-er.

FYWP for making me confuse myself. That should be “Not Yemenis”. wev, reading that column was worse than the meeting on Invoicing and Accounts Receivable I just sat through.

I knew it couldn’t take more than 10 comments for that reference to be made.

Silver lamé halter-tops are never far from my mind.

And if my accented “e” doesn’t show up, FYWP in advance.

Friedman is one of our leading prostrate nationalists.

FIXED-er.

You missed the anatomic joke…

Silver lamé halter-tops are never far from my mind.

Glad I’m not the only one.

Angelique Pettyjoan. Yum, yum, yummy.

Well, to look on the bright side… Maybe if his wife’s family’s company can switch from shopping malls to school construction it would really be a win-win situation for him. He gets to have a teeny little woody because of blowing shit up, and then the construction money rolls in. It should’t take more than 3 or 4 Friedman Units to fix Yemen beyond all recognition.

LilPig, you mean Pettijohn…

NSFW

Is this the state of Gonzo journalism today? The bombs and Jesus crowd who still have posters of Nixon and Regan in their rooms surrounded by candles and burning frankincense? Let me see if I have this right: His solution is to start tripping balls like Jesus in the desert and commiserate with the locals, and then decide, while ripped to the tits, that their entire culture is without hope or intellectual relevancy, and that the only way they can survive is with some good ol’ Amurican Know-how through some sort of bastard hybrid of No Child Left Behind using bombs instead of test scores.
Maybe he’s not, but that’s what I get from it. It might help to not write columns while twisted on strange drugs. Some people just can’t handle it.

You missed the anatomic joke…

Probably. My bad. I am completely Vicodized right now for my knee.

You missed the anatomic joke…

Probably. My bad. I am completely Vicodized right now for my knee.

Hokay, lemme splain…

Yours was about the organ up his asshole.

Mine was about the asshole kneeling on the ground.

LilPig, you mean Pettijohn…

I never remember that correctly. She’s much too much Joan to make me think of John.

How about a compromise: bomb Yemen with remote-controlled flying schools!

Or maybe just send the Predator drones to school & teach them a useful trade so they don’t have to be so explodey all the time.

PREDICTION: a lot fewer Yemenis are going to be signing up for the job of “wedding-party-planner” after 2010.

Suck on this, but we’ll cuddle afterwards.
I am amazed that DKW had nothing to say about that. Too easy, perhaps.

How about a compromise: bomb Yemen with remote-controlled flying schools!
Indeed, the prototype already exists.

I am amazed that DKW had nothing to say about that

No, I missed it. EB was too late to save me and I was outta da boat by the time cuddling was mentioned.

But, for the sake of completeness, you know who liked to build schools on my missile?

Damm. Why can’t _I get paid to write for the NYT and live out an [url=http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x34oi_afroman-because-i-got-high_music] Afroman [/url] song at the same time…oh. Never mind…

Blast. Sorry about that…

From the next Friedman column: “Every time our ordinance makes their world flat, we give the Yemeni Teacher of the Year a Lexus and plant 50 olive trees around his school!”