The Greatest Conspiracy Theory of All-Time
The Mexlamofascist connection revealed!!!
Al-Qaida has smuggled tactical nuclear weapons and uranium into the U.S. across the Mexican border and is planning to launch a major terrorist attack using a combination of nukes and dirty nukes, according to an interview with Osama bin Laden’s biographer, Hamid Mir, in WorldThreats.com.
Sweet. But I can’t believe gay marriage isn’t involved somehow…
“I came up with this conclusion after eight years of investigation and research in the remote mountain areas of Afghanistan and Pakistan. I traveled to Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Syria, Uzbekistan and Russia and met dozens of people,” Mir said.
“This story has been corroborated by every hobo, crank and conspiracy theorist in the Middle East!”
“I interviewed not only al-Qaida operatives but met scientists and top U.S. officials also. I will have the details in my coming book. At least two al-Qaida operatives claimed that the organization smuggled suitcase nukes inside America. But I have no details on who did it. But I do have details about who smuggled uranium inside America and how.”
Prediction: they planted them on Mexican day laborers, who hid them in the dumpsters outside their local 7-11’s, where they were picked up by gay people who sold them to a nearby mosque in exchange for a gay Muslamic wedding. Viola! The Islamexihomonazi connection revealed!!!
“As far as I know, they smuggled three suitcase nukes from Russia to Europe,” Mir says about al-Qaida. “They smuggled many kilos of enriched uranium inside America for their dirty bomb projects. They said in 1999 that they must have material for more than six dirty bombs in America. They tested at least one dirty bomb in the Kunar province of Afghanistan in 2000. They have planned an attack bigger than 9-11, even before 9-11 happened. Osama bin Laden trained 42 fighters to destroy the American economy and military might. Nineteen were used on 9-11, 23 are still ‘sleeping’ inside America waiting for a wake-up call from bin Laden.”
Don’t you feel glad we decided to take out Saddam instead of capturing bin Laden? I know I do.
Mir said al-Qaida operatives told him that tactical nuclear weapons were smuggled over the Mexican border before Sept. 11, 2001.
Mir said again he believes al-Qaida may use its nuclear arsenal after the U.S. attacks Iran in an effort to stop its nuclear weapons program.
Yet another good reason to attack Iran! Rock!
“This is my opinion,” he says. “No al-Qaida leader has ever admitted that they are working with Iran. I also think that, maybe, the Iranians will organize some attacks inside America and you will accuse al-Qaida.”
Asked why al-Qaida hasn’t used nuclear weapons it already possesses, Mir said: “They are waiting for the proper time. They want the U.S. to be involved in a mass killing of Muslims, so that they will have some justification. That is what I was told by a top al-Qaida leader in the Kunar Mountains of Afghanistan.”
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Does anybody out there buy this? That if al-Qaeda had really acquired nuclear weapons and smuggled them into the U.S., that they’d wait until we invaded yet another Islamic country before using them? We’re talking about a nihilistic death cult here, peeps. If they’d smuggled nukes into America, we would know by now.
Mir made similar comments in an earlier interview with G2 Bulletin.
Hamid Mir’s credibility skyrocketed when he accurately predicted in G2 Bulletin last month the imminent release of a new recorded communiqué from bin Laden through al-Jazeera, the Arabic TV network. Two days later, bin Laden’s tape was the focus of international news coverage.
“If you think that my information and analysis about bin Laden’s location is correct,” said Mir, “then please don’t underestimate my analysis about his nuclear threat also.”
Uhm, if Mr. Mir knows where bin Laden is, why isn’t he sharing this information with the American intelligence community? And if he has shared this information with the CIA, why haven’t we caught bin Laden yet? Or is Mir just another one of these?
What the fuck are “dirty nukes?” I’ve heard of nukes and dirty bombs, but what is a dirty nuke? Isn’t a nuke by definition kind of a “dirty bomb?”
Fucking bedwetters.
I wanna know how he managed to get Al Queda ops to tattle on their plans to blow up at least one nuke in America. You’d thing they wouldn’t tell the tourists that sort of thing, no matter how many falafel treats they bought from you.
First let me say I’M A US CITIZEN WITH A PASSPORT, I’M NOT A COMMIE OR SOCIALIST!
I do work in/with other Canadians, and we all agree the border to the North is more porous than the one to the south. So where is concern for that border?
Drugs, really evil people not wanting to pick vegetables are crossing those borders on a regular basis!
I’m more afraid of the borders to the north than those to the south.
Hello, can we wake up Congress, and Lou Dobbs, that our Northern border is more dangerous?
At least the southern border brown people will serve me dinner with a smile, while the Northern border illegals what to serve with less than a smile!
Is it racist? You decide!
I will not be civil until this danger passes.
The fact of the matter is, Gary ought to be coming along to troll any minute now.
Abortionists were totally left out of this evil plot. I smell a fake.
– Kathleen
Kathleen’s credibility skyrocked when she correctly predicted that the special at the lunch counter would be meatloaf.
Osama bin Laden trained 42 fighters to destroy the American economy and military might.
George Bush is a sleeper??
Ever wonder why AQ does not come across the border to Mexico? You know, the border that is actually actively patrolled.
JK47: Some nukes are constructed in a way as to create large amounts of fallout, which adds long-term radiation contamination to the damage caused by the initial blast (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirty_nuke#Other_uses_of_the_term).
Ok, wingnuts, I’m gonna help you out a little here. Anytime you’re going to peddle a story about “suitcase nukes” smuggled from Russia, if you want said story to have any cred at all, you’ve got to address PAL. That’s Permissive Action Locks. Look it up. It’s what keeps real nuclear weapons from being useful to your typical rogue general or terrorist group. In order to detonate the weapon, you need the codes. But see, the guys you stole the weapon from? They didn’t have the codes. Mr. Putin (remember him?) has the codes. See if he’ll take your call.
One other point. If they had “highly enriched uranium” I seriously doubt that they’d waste it on a dirty bomb. You would use a dirty bomb precisely because you didn’t have highly enriched uranium. If you had HEU, you’d go ahead and make a real nuke.
mikey
let me get this straight: he spent 8 years in afghanistan and environs and met DOZENS of people? over eight years? is he a hermit or what?
Hamid Mir’s credibility skyrocketed when he accurately predicted in G2 Bulletin last month the imminent release of a new recorded communiqué from bin Laden through al-Jazeera, the Arabic TV network.
Later he accurately predicted that “bad stuff” would happen in Iraq over the weekend – thereby boosting his wingnuttian credibility level from “skyrocketing” to “stellar”.
The timer on those suckers has been counting down since 2002. The only problem is, some asshole in the sleeper cell keeps hitting the “snooze” button, damn his eyes!
42 fighters? Really? Is Osama a Douglas Adams fan? Are the fighters out to destroy life, the universe, and everything?
Didn’t youse guyz come across some female wingnut last year who said that they’d already smuggled the nukes in, but way more than 3… something around 8-12. And that they could be anywhere now!!!1! Well, OK, probably not Pertwee, Nebraska, population 6. But, almost anywhere else!!1! I sure wish I could remember who that wingnut in the window was….
So who will be the first to propose tax cuts for this?
I’ve got some dirty underwear. Wonder if they rate as WMDs, probably so.
Mir said al-Qaida operatives told him that tactical nuclear weapons were smuggled over the Mexican border before Sept. 11, 2001.
Mir said again he believes al-Qaida may use its nuclear arsenal after the U.S. attacks Iran in an effort to stop its nuclear weapons program.
This is my favorite bit. So, the pious Wahabist Mr. ben Laden had a bunch of nukes in the US for the last five years, but he’s been waiting for the US to launch large-scale military action against Shi’a infidels before he uses them?!?!?1? I mean, yeah, blasting scads of Sunni in Iraq was bad, but that only justified strikes on Madrid and London. Not until the Persian kafir are attacked will vengence rain down upon the US. O-kaaaaaaaaay…
Mikey – Maybe the Russians are as stupid as Strategic Air Command when it comes to Permissive Action Links
In 1960’s, the combination locks were installed on the Minuteman ICBMs. However, the Strategic Air Command in Omaha worried that in case of need the codes would not be available, so they quietly decided to set them to 00000000; checking this combination was even present on the launch checklists. This was not changed until 1977.
I am amazed we are still all here.
I came up with this conclusion after eight years of investigation and research in the remote mountain areas of Afghanistan and Pakistan. I traveled to Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Syria, Uzbekistan and Russia and met dozens of people,� Mir said.
But. That is only one end of the investigation. How can he be sure he was told the truth if he hasn’t questioned people in Mexico and the United States?