If You Were Gay, It Wouldn’t Be Okay
ABOVE: B. Daniel “The Gay Patriot” Blatt (body by Photoshop, face by nature)
Shorter B. Daniel Blatt,1 The Gay Patriot:2
Kevin Jennings & the Prevailing Gay Sexual Ethos3
- No gay man, other than me — assuming, of course, that I am gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that — should be allowed to have a job involving children.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1For our newer SadlyNauts, who may not be familiar with B. Daniel Blatt, he is one of the so called Gay Patriots. His Auntie Tom schtick is pretty much to find any anti-gay Republican talking point, the more outrageous the better, and defend it. Up until this latest post, the apex of this schtick was probably when Blatt organized a brunch at a Mexican restaurant to show solidarity with the owner’s financial support of the campaign against gay marriage in California. Alternatively, the apex may have been the time he said he was going to vote against gay marriage because gays are soooo rude to Carrie Prejean. But this post, I think, surpasses everything else and I’m not sure it can ever be really surpassed. Oh, I suppose he could still post something on his blog arguing for the recriminalization of sodomy or perhaps arranging a book burning party for all of David Sedaris’s books.
2I always thought that a “gay patriot” was, for example, a gay soldier fighting for his country, but the closest Patriot Blatt has ever gotten to fighting a battle of any sort has been in his comments section. I suppose a “gay patriot” might also be someone who puts a tiny U.S. flag in his pina colada rather than a festive cocktail umbrella or who roots for the U.S. gymnastics and diving teams at the Olympics. But I’m not going to concede that a brain-damaged Republican poofter whoring for the approval of straight Republicans is a gay patriot no matter how much Republican dick he does (or doesn’t) suck.
3Oh, and on the subject of prevailing ethos, a comment by Dan to his own post sets forth his own prevailing blogging ethos or, I suppose, what might be called the long-awaited mission statement of The Gay Patriot blog:
Perhaps, you don’t realize that it actually takes time to write a post and check my facts and sometimes I don’t have time to check everything hence the conditional of the sentence your first cited. We bloggers are often dependent on our readers to correct typographical errors we might miss and to fill in the research when we run out of time.
I am so adopting this philosophy, particularly since, unlike Dan, I actually do have a job and actually do run out of time to keep you ingrates amused.
Slightly shorter shorter:
Blatt: allow me to demonstrate my queasiness with fisting by shoving my head up my ass.
Tintin, you have a job?! I thought faggy gay French liebrals just sat on their asses eating baguettes all day and mooching off the government.
It would be nice if we could find something from his pen or from his lips
If this sentence came from any other conservative pundit, we could all have a ripping good time laughing at the repressed gayness of it. *sigh* See how coming out of the closet just ruins our fun, wingnuts?
“Auntie Tom.” I LOVE it.
I know some people are turned on by public humiliation, but this guy takes it way too far. Yet, his politics are far more freakish than his sexual preferences. I think the problem is that no openly gay person would touch him, even with ayn rand’s dick. So he has to settle for shagging family values republicans in public toilets.
Isn’t ‘Blatt’ the sound of air rushing out of one’s ass after a good fisting?
Or is that ‘Whoosh?’
I hope he shows up to comment again, that would make for
THE BEST CHRISTMAS/HANUKKAH/KWANZAA/EID/FESTIVUS/SOLSTICE… etc., ad nauseam EVER!!!
Maybe it’ll even lead to a “Gay Patriot Holiday Special”.
Stephen, and don’t forget the rest of that quote:
it would be nice if we could find something from his pen or from his lips where he casts a critical eye on the predominant sexual ethos of our community.
“something from his pen or from his lips where he casts a critical eye”????
No wonder Blatt is worried about what kids are being taught in school: where the flyin’ f*ck did he study anatomy?
That mural you put behind Blatt would only take a slight adjustment to being an outstanding gay porn movie poster.
That mural you put behind Blatt would only take a slight adjustment to being an outstanding gay porn movie poster.
Heh…
The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told
Somewhat moderately serious point… of all the horseshit that gays have to put up with, the equating of pedophilia with homophilia has to be the worst.
Yet here’s Blatt saying, y’know, fair enough.
…Sacre bleu…
Somewhat moderately serious point… of all the horseshit that gays have to put up with, the equating of pedophilia with homophilia has to be the worst.
And his commenters are right there. And you know some homophobe is going to cite Dan’s condemnation as “proof” of the point. Way to go, Dan!
I don’t see what’s so bad about teaching teenagers about fisting, anyway. It’s one of the safest sexual activities around, as long as ur doin it rite.
But I’m also a weirdo.
And you know some homophobe is going to cite Dan’s condemnation as “proof” of the point. Way to go, Dan!
Blatt, “beard” for bigots!
That mural you put behind Blatt would only take a slight adjustment to being an outstanding gay porn movie poster.
Heh…
The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told
Queer taint for the straight saint.
They seem to have reduced sexuality to (with apologies to Catullus) a mere grinding of loins.
Apology not accepted.
If I may, please allow me to slightly modify one of my verses for you, Mr. Blatt. Consider it a gift:
And you above all the king of the long-winded ponces,/
Product of Palin and all her teeming teabaggers,/
Ignoramous aping class with your thick sad schitck and/
flashing teeth scrubbed white with Wingnut urine.
The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told
The Rod and the Staff
You know, straight people should not be allowed to work with people of the opposite sex. I mean, they can’t control their urges.
I am so adopting this philosophy, particularly since, unlike Dan, I actually do have a job and actually do run out of time to keep you ingrates amused.
And I also have a job, which cuts into the time that I might be ungratefully amused.
So we’re even!
~
“…hence the conditional of the sentence your first cited.”
Sweet mother-of-pearl, he can’t even get his snarky comment about typos to come out typo-free.
Gimme a T
Gimme an O
Gimme a K
Gimme an E
Gimme an N
Hey Republicans (those of you that can actually read) what’s that spell?
It’s typo corrections all the way down.
And I also have a job, which cuts into the time that I might be ungratefully amused.
So we’re even!
It is while at my job that I usually indulge my need for ungrateful amusement. So I am doubly hampered by the forty hour work week and silly customers.
Regarding footnote #3: I genuinely cannot tell whether that’s the least or most self-aware thing ever said.
oooooh, let me try!
i think the mexicans shouldn’t be allowed in the internet, since there is no way of checking if they are illegal cyberspace aliens, and then they end up convincing your young daughters to shave their eyebrows and use sharpies for make-up and get clown tattoos.
except me of course, i should be able to continue using the internet to help the world know we really don’t mind being called beaners.
Hey Republicans (those of you that can actually read) what’s that spell?
Um, I’m going to guess “Sowell.”
No? “Steele”?
Hmmmmm….
you ingrates
I grate Tintin!
It spells “HEARTLAND.”
you ingrates
I once tried to be an outgrate, but the peer pressure was too ingrate.
I do enjoy how the “Kevin Jennings is the big gay devil” smear campaign has been oh-so-not-even-remotely-cleverly dubbed “Fistgate“.
Mainly because it’s one of the reactions I have to reading shrieking rants about how perverts shouldn’t tell teenagers to use condoms, right after “Facepalm” and “Headdesk”.
Oh my! I used to go to GayPutzRiot every now and then, just to poke Dan with a sharp stick. His commenters tend to rabid homophobia. Brucie (his real name iirc) laps it up. Eagerly. I almost feel sorry for him, with that twisted psyche. Almost.
He does tend to comment here when he’s the topic. Happy Chanukkah and Kwanzaa, Bruce!
Regarding footnote #3… he’s using the Pantload defense here!
It is while at my job that I usually indulge my need for ungrateful amusement. So I am doubly hampered by the forty hour work week and silly customers.
I can’t comment at all at work, or even read the blogues. (We are heavily secured and spied upon by our I.T. Department.)
I did come home for lunch, but have to run back for 2pm Loan Committee (doesn’t that sound like fun!!!one!).
Anywho, here’s MM.
~
Grammar aside, how about just someone who does the most minimal, easiest fact-checking before opening his mouth? Here’s Blatt:
Blatt could have easily discovered that the person he wanted fired was quickly fired (his asterix notes that a reader immediately fills in him in on that little tidbit). But, nope, cause in Blatt’s little corner of the world, It’s Rainin’ Strawmen, Hallelujah!
Well, good, because while I haven’t read The Complete Musings and Poesy of One Daniel Blatt, Patrioticus Exodus Internationalus, Volumes I through XXXVIII, I’m going to follow Mr. Blatt’s example and just assume from the limited information I see before me that Mr. Blatt is the laziest, sloppiest, repeat-whatever-the-most-recent-anti-gay-talking-pointiest-without-ever-actually-worrying-his-empty-little-headiest writer who ever lived.
B. Daniel Blatt, a writer based in Los Angeles, California has completed five screenplays, including an adaptation of Beowulf in which he discovers the Beowulf-poet, more than 1,100 years after the poet’s death. He is at work on two screenplays (In Dreams Disclosed and The Last Campaign) while he is writing a short film, Laura’s Phoenix and a play, Two Men & Aunties Mame.
None of which has been published, produced, bought, printed, optioned or otherwise used for anything but toilet paper. “A writer based in Los Angeles” eh? PSSST! Bruce, you’re not a writer, that’s merely what you call yourself.
FYWP
Well, he can comment here if he uses his signature “My, my, my, my!” riposte.
That’s just fabulous, if you ask me.
Thank you sir! May I have another?
We bloggers are often dependent on our readers to correct typographical errors we might miss and to fill in the research when we run out of time.
Ahhh, the Goldberg Variation.
Thank you sir! May I have another?
Not enough pleading. Or begging.
Work on that.
None of which has been published, produced, bought, printed, optioned or otherwise used for anything but toilet paper.
Now, now. Be nice. Everybody knows that publishers aren’t willing to take a chance on first-time writers.
He’s the self-loathing gay guy conservatards can tolerate–tolerate with all their hearts!!
Also: FISTING!
I think nobody who has any kind of sex, ever, should be allowed to do ANYTHING.
Just in case.
How do you KNOW your produce manager at the supermarket DOESN’T have a vegetable fetish, after all?
Holy crap, y’all. Check out some of Michael Steele’s supersweet photos with interns.
They actually kind of make me want to kill myself.
There’s a reason Bill the Cat wasn’t elected president ya know.
That mural you put behind Blatt would only take a slight adjustment to being an outstanding gay porn movie poster.
The mural behind Blatt is the best use ever of an iconic Mormon painting. The kneeling lad is Joseph Smith. Two of the three glowing individuals are Elijah (poor Joseph thought Elias and Elijah were different people, rather than different spellings of the same name, and the Mormon Church has never corrected that mistake). I’ve forgotten who the third glowing person is.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
December 11, 2009 at 20:40
Holy crap, y’all. Check out some of Michael Steele’s supersweet photos with interns.
They actually kind of make me want to kill myself.
Oh
’em
gee
I’ve forgotten who the third glowing person is.
Ginger Jesus, silly.
B. Daniel Blatt, a writer based in Los Angeles, California has completed five screenplays, including an adaptation of Beowulf in which he discovers the Beowulf-poet, more than 1,100 years after the poet’s death.
Beowulf/Hrothgar!
Blatt’s screenplay also features a novel interpretation of Beowulf’s removal of Grendel’s arm… (and yes, those ellipses, are ominous)
They actually kind of make me want to kill myself.
I understand but after seeing those it isn’t myself I want to kill.
Michael Steele’s supersweet photos with interns.
Jaysus. Looks like outtakes from an Arrested Development episode. The one where the Bluth cousin had his skin artificially darkened in order to become a prominent token in a powerful organization.
What, did one of the rednecks just shout “Bring out the Geek!” or something?
And as to this:
LET THE BLOGGER ETHICS PANEL CONVENE!
I think it’s supposed to be Moses. Y’know, old Moses O’Sullivan from Boston.
The one where the Bluth cousin had his skin artificially darkened in order to become a prominent token in a powerful organization.
The Blue Man Group?
Wow… not a one shaking the hand of one of the females…
Though, to be fair, there is probably at least one future Pam Atlas and Michelle Malkin in the group.
That picture in the background just SCREAMS “pull up my socks while you’re down there”, if you know what I mean.
Either that or they’re laying on hands to divinely cure his big bald spot. “And The LORD saith, ‘No comb-overs’!!!”
Either that or they’re laying on hands to divinely cure his big bald spot.
Cure? Mon Pere, you’re guilty of the vilest form of “hairism”!
I expected better of you!
At least Blatt isn’t a hetero male wife abuser, like this asshole:
http://www.nashvilleistalking.com/2009/12/domestic-assualt-charge-against-former-tn-gop-bill-hobbs/
That article is linked to by a Nashville Post blog, where both Mr. Hobbs and his wife make multiple comments, letting the good people of Tennesee know that the article is wrong, bad, and false, nothing to see here, move along:
http://politics.nashvillepost.com/2009/12/11/former-tngop-spokesman-bill-hobbs-charged-with-assault/
Seriously, go read the comments at both links. Fascinating stuff, right down to Hobbs saying that the last time he hit anyone “in anger” was when he stood up to a bully in sixth grade, and, to a friendlycommenter:
I’m just surprised that Christ isn’t his marriage counselor.
Beowulf’s removal of Grendel’s arm
For fisting?
Beowulf’s removal of Grendel’s arm
For fisting?
Worst butt plug EVAH!
Cure? Mon Pere, you’re guilty of the vilest form of “hairism”!
I expected better of you!
Hey, I didn’t paint it! Don’t blame me!
Beowulf’s removal of Grendel’s arm
For fisting?
Worst butt plug EVAH!
S’cuse MAH deTATCHED finGAZ!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
December 11, 2009 at 20:40
Holy crap, y’all. Check out some of Michael Steele’s supersweet photos with interns.
Oh my god. What the hell is wrong with that man?
Kevin Jennings was the Mormon dude that won all that cash on Jeopardy, right?
Isn’t that an omission statement?
Not to be confused with an emission statement.
Isn’t that an omission statement?
**Warm golf clap**
Michael Steele is a white bigot’s conception of what a “good Negro” would look, act and sound like.
Little Pig:
That variation is definitely the Quodlibet.
(You still cannot ruin it for me.)
I’ve got the kind of household name recognition that Bill Ayers, Rev. Wright and Tony Rezko didn’t!
Who the hell is Kevin Jennings?
For example, that total fag Blatt the buttblatter, used teh word seminal incorrectly. He just like spraying seminal ejaculations at unsuspecting readers. Because he’s gay.
Central to my point is the fact that he mistyped it as “seminar leaders”. Clearly he meant seminal. Because he’s gay. Seminal.
Subliminal imagery much, Blatt?
“While I think some of the coverage on conservative blogs about the latest Kevin Jennings hullabaloo (James Taranto might call it a kerfuffle) a bit overheated”
I don’t know what Tarantino would call it but right about now I think he’d be motioning to the Bear Jew to get ready for a little batting practice.
Who the hell is Kevin Jennings?
He’s the gay Ward Churchill- you know, an obscure person whose career and opinions are distorted, and who is then elevated to a position of SUPREEM SIGNIVIGUNCE TO THE LIBRUL MOVEMINT!!!!!
None of which has been published, produced, bought, printed, optioned or otherwise used for anything but toilet paper. “A writer based in Los Angeles” eh? PSSST! Bruce, you’re not a writer, that’s merely what you call yourself.
I kinda thought every third waiter in LA was a writer. And the other two are actors. But what they really want to do is direct.
Holy crap, y’all. Check out some of Michael Steele’s supersweet photos with interns.
I went back a second time and it appears they have put the images behind a password.
Who forgot to turn off the lights before they left?
Grendel fisting Beowulf? Man, I so got burned with a weak-ass translation.
As unintentional comedy goes, this just never seems to age:
We bloggers are often dependent on our readers to correct typographical errors we might miss and to fill in the research when we run out of time.
Huh?
Are Google & Spellcheck fully owned subsidiaries of ACORN now or what?
I know it happens, even here … sure, once in a while everyone buggers that poodle – but I think if it happens “often” one might want to look into exploring the possible benefits of making a major career-shift, from the Interboobs to IRL-land.
I hear circuses always have geek openings – & you get free food out of the deal too!
Mmm, live chicken-heads.
“something from his pen or from his lips where he casts a critical eye”????
It’s got what looks like an eye, kind of.
Blatt @ Comment #15:Your various comments indicate your conviction that I judge gays with different attitudes toward sexuality than my own. I don’t. They have made their choices and I appreciate that.
Blatt in the post:What I find troubling in this whole story is something I have encountered all too often in my own experience coming out and living as a gay man, that our (gay) culture reduces our sexuality to its mere sexual expression…
Yup, no judgement there. Oh incidentally, Filed under: (Gay) Male Sexuality & the Monogamous Ideal
Filed under: (Gay) Male Sexuality & the Monogamous Ideal
The Church Lady.
Blatt’s the kind of gay man who hopes that, when President Palin takes power and starts ordering LGBTs into “conversion therapy” camps, he’ll be exempt or at least will have a bunk on the sunnier side of the camp where he can tend to his begonias and not hear the screams so loudly.
I went back a second time and it appears they have put the images behind a password.
Damn. I hope that someone saved them.
“conversion therapy” camps,
Yep. He asspires to be the “Kapo.” Just think of the self loathing possibilities!
I went back a second time and it appears they have put the images behind a password.
Damn. I hope that someone saved them.
Surely the password shouldn’t be too hard to guess- I think it’s either “Reagan” or “Tax Cuts!”.
Surely the password shouldn’t be too hard to guess- I think it’s either “Reagan” or “Tax Cuts!”.
Or WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!111!!!11!!!!
I suppose a “gay patriot” might also be someone who… roots for the U.S. gymnastics and diving teams at the Olympics.
Figure skating, Tintin. Figure skating.
Hey Blatt, you know who casts a critical eye on my predominant sexual ethos?
Your mom.
Ooh! TPM has a slideshow of the kickass Michael Steele photos.
Hey! Two Big Bad Bald Bastards!
How do you KNOW your produce manager at the supermarket DOESN’T have a vegetable fetish, after all?
Jonah would never fuck that courgette. Too many vegetables on it.
TPM has the Michael Steele photos:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=1&ref=fpb
Always. Refresh. Before. Posting.
re: Steele photos
Teh awesome part is that in the set of 17 photos, there is one other black guy hidden at the back of the group shot.
Nah, who’m I kiddin’. It’s all off teh hizz-house.
Hey! Two Big Bad Bald Bastards!
I know: What if Bill Cosby and Hitler were roommates?
Teh awesome part is that in the set of 17 photos, there is one other black guy hidden at the back of the group shot.
The woman wearing a sweater in the front in that photo seems to be making her breasts very prominent. Some call Ann Althouse, stat!
Kids in the Hall – Why Did They Have to Take the Word Gay?</b
Caption needed:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=15
Hey! Two Big Bad Bald Bastards!
OH NOES!!! Outed as a “mole”.
Yes, I am Michael Steele, but that’s just the way I roll, baby.
My personal favorite
Hair by Tupperware
This one is my favorite. For the green pants alone.
The woman wearing a sweater in the front in that photo seems to be making her breasts very prominent.
The Republicans finally have a stimulus proposal!
We all play well together until someone tells us how to play with others.
The Catholic clergy doesn’t understand that exchanging dollars for services makes it Biblicalishizzle.
OMG!!@!@@TERRERIST FIST JAB!!!@@@!!!!OMG
The woman wearing a sweater in the front…
You should see what she’s wearing in the back.
Your mom.
Caption needed:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=15
With this ring…
Caption needed:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=15
“My dad said if I give you five bucks you won’t smash my windshield.”
Caption needed:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=15
“Alright, alright! Two bucks for DKW’s mom!”
Caption needed:
“Thanks for fulfilling my chocolate fantasy.”
You know, I’m pretty sure that sentence tells me everything I ever need to know about Blatt, ever.
He must be butthurt about having to settle for arranging anonymous hookups with married men on gay.com because of the humiliating tongue-lashings he endures every time he tries to open his mouth (for penis!) at some twinky gathering place, like a piano bar, also.
GOP Struggles With McCain’s Florida Campaign Co-Chair’s Oral Sex Bust, Vitter’s Diaper Fetish
I thought that said “Vitter’s Diaper Rash.”
humiliating tongue-lashings he endures
I think humiliating tongue-lashings are what he’s looking for!
an iconic Mormon painting. The kneeling lad is Joseph Smith. Two of the three glowing individuals are Elijah (poor Joseph thought Elias and Elijah were different people, rather than different spellings of the same name, and the Mormon Church has never corrected that mistake). I’ve forgotten who the third glowing person is.
They all look impressively Nordic.
Caption needed:
“This will be our little secret, right?”
The green pants … they burn …
The group photo with part of the Black intern’s face cut off (there can only be ONE!) made me laugh and laugh.
The individual photos are making me shiver with dread. What it up with these malformed young trolls and their young Republicanism?
If they’re rich kids, I thought access to better nutrition and sexual selection was supposed to lead to gracile, symmetric skeletons???
Or maybe their mothers are major pill/booze users? The only young Republican (well, actually, he’s a libertardian) I know has a harelip … and his parents are major lushes … you do the math.
Btw, FYWP: gracile IS SO a word.
That’s nothing. You should see the paintings of the heroes of the wars between the Lost Tribes. Tom of Finland has nothing on these guys.
What it up with these malformed young trolls and their young Republicanism?
In the password protected photos, there’s actually one girl who is jarringly pretty. It confused me for a moment.
Interns are unpaid, so you have to figure they’re the base.
What it up with these malformed young trolls and their young Republicanism?
Ye Olde Adage: Politics is show business for ugly people.
Interns are unpaid, so you have to figure they’re the base.
Yeah, young politics nerds aren’t known for their beauty, and neither are Republicans, so there you go.
Michael Steele looks like a fun guy to smoke a fattie with…
The GOP attitude toward the middle class, summed up in one photo:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=13
The GOP is apparently going the Brangelina route and adopting little Asian kids …
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=6
Look! Their goes what’s left of the GOP’s integrity!
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=11
And, naturally, the typical GOP “If I give you money you won’t tell them about our hot mansechs, right? RIGHT?!” image:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=15
I could keep going. I really, really could …
That’s nothing. You should see the paintings of the heroes of the wars between the Lost Tribes. Tom of Finland has nothing on these guys.
Isn’t there one where Nephi is shirtless, buff, and oiled? I have not opened that book for about 20 years, but I seem to recall there is a whole lot of seriously homoerotic imagery.
College Republicans – bleah. They look the same as they did twenty years ago. In the words of Rodney Dangerfield “Now I know why tigers eat their young”.
Not just that, but everyone seems to have a pinhead. Enooooormous chest, tiny brain. Thinking about the implications for cumshots there.
Caption…
Oh, hello, Father! No, we weren’t playing “Priest and the Altar Boy, what makes you think that?”
(out of the side of his mouth)
“Ut-pay ee-thay oney-may away-way!”
t4toby said,
December 11, 2009 at 23:42
Michael Steele looks like a fun guy to smoke a fattie with…
Dude, you gotta find better people to smoke with. Steele looks like the kind of guy who can’t stop saying how HIGH he is, then will not stop asking everybody if he can buy some “maryjane” from you….
Unless, of course, you were being snarky. I admit it’s been a stressful day and I’m not sure I can tell anymore.
In the password protected photos, there’s actually one girl who is jarringly pretty. It confused me for a moment.
The chick in the red/orange jacket? Oh yea.
Someone noted at Wonkette that in 5 years she’ll deny ever having been there.
Fizixated to better match what would probably happen.
Dude’s such a moron he’d either slobber all over the joint before passing it on, or cough in the bong and send water all over the place, including on the tray which would, naturally, ruin the stuffage.
Um … I think I’ve typed too much …
slobber all over the joint before passing it on, or cough in the bong
dude, you are triggering me BIG TIME…
They all look impressively Nordic.
Well, that’s Mormondom for you. One of the pluses about the LDS plurality in my hometown is that there’s a bunch of hawt blondes around, if you like that sort of thing (or at least looking-but-not-touching that sort of thing).
Any given family here stands a good chance of looking something like this.
The only young Republican (well, actually, he’s a libertardian) I know has a harelip … and his parents are major lushes … you do the math.
Conservatism: Not a mental illness, a developmental disability. Or FAS.
(or at least looking-but-not-touching that sort of thing).
Heh. More than once have I come onto cute missionary boys who knocked on my door. ‘Twas more from a desire to freak them out than any real lust. At least once, I _could_ have gotten some action, of that I’m quite sure. That’s why they travel in pairs. You know, they’re so clean and all they must taste real good.
That’s why they travel in pairs.
It happens surprisingly often that mission partners become another kind of partners. Sadly, it’s very very closeted.
You know, they’re so clean and all they must taste real good.
So I hear.
Headline: White Sox sign former closer Putz
Why would you sign a putz to be your closer?
First line from newspaper article: For 2 1/2 years, the body of 81-year-old Leroy Adams Sr. lay curled in bed, rotting down to a dark stain around a partly clothed skeleton.
Gruesome goings-on in Gretna.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/12/11/national/a142058S97.DTL
Fester?
I’ll go stand in the corner now.
You know, they’re so clean and all they must taste real good.
Let’s all play “Trigger the Zombie”!
http://conservativeiscool.com
Go and be amused.
Go and be amused.
I tried. It must be a very conservative site as it makes Opera curl up its toes.I can’t tell wtf they intended. They probably used the same GØP designers that Steele-izzle hired.
Those Michael Steele intern photos remind me of this for some reason. Or of that photo of Stephen Colbert with his black friend.
Ingrate? Why I never!
Go and be amused.
I’m guessing the pitch went something like, “Our crack team of one former office manager and a ‘For Dummies’ book will combine the worst aspects of mid-90s GeoCities Web design with today’s useless browser-bogging widgets!”
“Auntie Tom” is an awesome phrase that is both nealy turned perfectly descriptive. Describes his schtick to a “T.”
And those Steele pictures . . . Teal pants? WTH? Wait, no, the whole thing: WTH??!? They make me feel embarrassed for people I don’t want to feel embarrassed for. Emotions…shutting…down…
Headline: White Sox sign former closer Putz
Why would you sign a putz to be your closer?
Their manager and fans are putzes, along with most of their players. The more the merrier.
Can’t…stop…watching…
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2009/12/best-boss-ever-michael-steele-the-rnc-interns.php?img=14
Girl: Who farted?
Go and be amused.
I tried as well. Oh, there is certainly the potential for much hilarity but the site’s lack of activity kinda prompts the image of a cat losing interest in the moth after it’s killed it. Nothing to play with, yet. I did vote for for Sarah Mooseburger as my favorite GOP candidate for preznit, however.
If you listen to the RayDeeOh there is an individual named Tiger who plays a game named Golf. Said individual has had sexual intercourse.
Fuck the Jews.
I bet the amount of angry/ashamed closet cock he gets a day can be measured in metric tons.
Take an r out of “a writer” and you get W-A-I-T-E-R.
The rants section leaves a lot to be desired
My thoughts is your site definately sux a large goat arse.
Faces of the GOP.
Faces of the GOP.
Worst slasher-flick trailer EVAR.
Dey tukur wimmins!
OT: after the economic waterboarding America just gave itself, you’d think reforming financial rules, of all things, might prompt some actual bipartisanship – & you’d be WRNOG.
Of course, it just wouldn’t be a center-right Obama maneuver without some patented Wimping Out (now with aloe vera & ylang-ylang!), but hell, it’ll still beat the status quo … if the Senate can avoid fucking it up, that is.
*********
Uh, & as for the Steele photos? Oh man.
Somewhere deep beneath the ocean, Cthulhu lays weeping.
The guy really ought to have his own talk-show: as long as he doesn’t delve into topics where he’s blatantly defecient – such as politics – I imagine he’d be quite appealing to the same people who think Geraldo Rivera is/was the acme of modern TeeVee journalism … you know … morons.
Meanwhile, Obama’s DHS has affirmed that police brutality has bipartisan support:
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/12/11/dr-peter-watts-canad.html
http://conservativeiscool.com
Go and be amused.
I call stock photos archive. Especially on the black guy.
OT: after the economic waterboarding America just gave itself, you’d think reforming financial rules, of all things, might prompt some actual bipartisanship – & you’d be WRNOG.
Also WRNOG: 27 Democrats voted against it. I’m sorry, is there some blue dog prohibition against financial regulation that I’m not aware of? Since they’re all about the deficit and shit, they do know that bailing out those Wall Street motherfuckers actually added to the deficit, right? Tell me that they’re aware of that.
Because otherwise, what the fuck are they even still bothering for?
Steeley Dan is one of my favorite groupies. Don’t lose that number!
–Should have said Limpy, don’t lose that number.
Hindsight is hot!
Those intern photos: MY GOD, IT’S FULL OF FAIL!
It’s good they saved Photo #17 for last. That way I didn’t miss any of the others after my skull exploded in shrieking protest. Tintin, you need to come over here right now and mop my brains off the wall.
Seriously, though: that photo is a perfect distillation of the Essence of Young Republican.
Did someone say stock photo?
Image search courtesy of Tin Eye.
It says something about the GOP’s view of appropriate roles for women that the RNC stuffed its guys in suits but the girls are dressed down to the point of being out of place.
Perhaps, you don’t realize that it actually takes time to write a post and check my facts and sometimes I don’t have time to check everything hence the conditional of the sentence your first cited. We bloggers are often dependent on our readers to correct typographical errors we might miss and to fill in the research when we run out of time.
TRANSLATION:
Hey, I just choose the colors and pick the drapes, YOU GUYS get to hang them, darling!
Headline: White Sox sign former closer Putz
Why would you sign a putz to be your closer?
He pronounces it “Pootz”, since at least he heard he was traded to the Mets.
You know, as in “Pootz more runners on base”?
He was…horrible. But the Mets got him as insurance for K-Rod failing. Dumb move. Dumb, dumb move. Pootz spent most of the season on the D/L
If your Putz is on the DL, you’re not getting past second base.
from his lips where he casts a critical eye
Uncircumcised PENIS reference?
Since I’ve had the (good?) fortune to view the picture at the top of the post more times than I care to admit, I must correct the iconography as given by previous posters. This is not Elijah and Elias (although Joseph Smith was basically clueless on that matter too.)
So, here’s the correct, one true and living identification of all the people in the picture. The kneeling dude is Joseph Smith. The tallest standing dude (one in the center) is the apostle Peter. The dude on his right hand is James. The beardless boy to Peter’s left is John. What you don’t see (because the picture has been cropped), is that, off to John’s left, one Oliver Cowdery is kneeling in the bushes, waiting for his turn.
http://www.mormondefender.com/page/182050205
There, don’t you feel better knowing that you can identify a piece of Mormon iconography? Now, can I have my brain matter back, please?
D’oh, they hid the Michael Steele photos, probably after they discovered they had been Sadlied.
“something from his pen or from his lips where he casts a critical eye”????
No wonder Blatt is worried about what kids are being taught in school: where the flyin’ f*ck did he study anatomy?
In fairness to Blatt, if his head is stuck up his ass all the time, this is an easy mistake to make.
LET THE BLOGGER ETHICS PANEL CONVENE!
Is that like the Brethren Court? I lost the wooden eye, see…