Okay, I’m joining the War on Christmas.

Oh dear.

We skipped straight over conventional warfare and went right to nukes.

Well Mr. Elam, this is manifest proof that the “gay agenda” is part and parcel of the War on Christmas; or as BillO would put it, the secular progressive attack on Xianity.

Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children?

IS this the guy from “you touch my tra la la. my ding ding dong?”

OMG, it is. Using him is cheating!

I feel like a Darfur refugee, caught up in a war I didn’t want and don’t understand.

Sigh. Giant dildoes wrapped in metallic red wrapping paper have become so commercial these days.

I guess it’s one way to make dildos more humorous.

The Most Obscene Christmas Ever (NSFW)

Bugger the baby Jesus! What is it with Europeans and calisthenics as choreography?

OMG, it is. Using him is cheating!

Make no mistake: these means are cruel. I have stated previously that I endorse cruel things in YouTube wars. To eschew them is folly.

That thing is going to reinforce a LOT of negative stereotypes…..

Too subtle.

I could really get behind more of such lascivious humbuggery in the depths of the bleak December.

I know Thers was out of line but I’m not entirely sure that you are straight. No matter… as everyone in astrophysics knows, life starts “with a bang”.

Tintin and Thers are both going straight to hell.

No Gunther fans? Ima gonna have to rethink my devotion to this site.

that was hot!!!

Here is your Christian Christmas cheer:

http://raymondpward.typepad.com/rainman2/2009/11/go-tell-it-on-the-mountain.html

I’m surprised that the RNC allowed their holiday party to be fimed.

Damn, wiley, that clip brought Santa and Jesus out of their spider hole begging for unconditional surrender.

Tintin, I curse you thrice! You and the demonic Thers have caused me to vomit up my soul. You owe me.

Speaking of the war on moron Christmas, it looks like Beck’s The Christmas Sweaty is maybe not doing so well on the road

S,N! ftw

We have a shadow government in the US. It sells hamburgers, turkey, insurance, credit cards, whiskey, etc. We can do something about this at http://democratz.org

Unless you do something about this shadow government, you will continue to have to sit on the sidelines and complain about the nasty things that they do to Americans.

The War on Christmas is not a dinner party.

I missed the beginning of this war. Has anyone posted the Bea Arthur Star Wars Christmas songs yet??? If not, escalation is still possible!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujZsFOGT-Ko

I think it would be better if Christmas were just December 25th— something a tiny bit less pedestrian than Christmas videos and the WOC.

My idea of a Christmas Miracle: that Gunther video appearing in Bill O’Reilly’s inbox every five minutes between now and the first of the year.

My idea of a Christmas Miracle: that Gunther video appearing in Bill O’Reilly’s inbox every five minutes between now and the first of the year.

My idea of a Christmas Miracle: Bill O’Reilly appearing in that Gunther video!

IS this the guy from “you touch my tra la la. my ding ding dong?”

I didn’t think YouTube allowed videos about touching one’s tra la la.

Totally OT, but has anyone ever noticed how “William Kristol” is an anagram of “Lawl, I’m Klitoris”?

It looks like Christmas is saved after all.

It looks like Christmas is saved after all.

You mean our War on Christmas was defeated by a klitoris?

Man, those things can do anything!

My idea of a Christmas Miracle: A video of Bill O’Reilly auditioning to appearing in that Gunther video!

Please, Santa?

I’m drinking and watching “Arthur” and couldn’t be happier. What a movie!

Let’s celebrate Xmas Dutch style

“The Most Obscene Christmas Ever (NSFW)”

Is that a pterodactyl in the background?

Tom Friedman called Afghanistan a retarded baby, and yet it still might be his most coherent metaphor

I just want to say two things:
1) You have avoided losing this Youtube war, but only by using weapons of mass destruction (oh my poor brain). I think it’s fair to say that you cannot be considered to have won; at best, you now rule over an internet wasteland, charred and lifeless.

2) It is so awesome that the nincompoops who got Thers’s Star Wars Disco Whatever Thing made somehow decided to cast Kris Kristofferson as Han Solo but didn’t get him to shave off his beard. It’s like an awful musical version of the Stunt Doubles scene in Spaceballs. Well, OK, the “awful” was redundant in that sentence, or at least needed an adverb.

“You mean our War on Christmas was defeated by a klitoris?

Man, those things can do anything!”

Unfortunately, most men in power are clueless as to how to operate them.”

I call shenanigans on firebombing civilians.

Is that a pterodactyl in the background?

No. It’s just glad to see you.

Okay, I see Dancer, and Prancer, and Blitzen, and Vixen, and hey, there’s even Rudolph the Red ‘Doed Rein Dear.

With this video, it looks like Christmas “came” early this year at the RNC HQ. They’ll be shooting each others eyes out about 2-3 times per day, in fact.

It’s okay … I wasn’t really using my sanity much anyway.
Suck it up, folks – you knew this wasn’t going to be a cakewalk. War is heck.

WARNING: Regular use of “Merry Kiss My Ahhsss” may have undesirable side-effects. If one of your bollocks turns bright green, consult your physician.

Let’s celebrate Xmas Dutch style

Or we could celebrate it Chicago-style.

So today President McChange had to go so far as to debase the prestige of the Presidency by going down to the Senate and begging, hat in hand, for the Senate to please please please please pretty PLEASE pass his bill!

Lol, pathetic. Hopey thought the American people and their representatives would just bend over, grab the ankles, and let him have his way while he rammed his agenda through, but we’re resisting, and quite successfully, I’d say!

You know troll, each name you choose ends up sounding more and more like something from a kids’ cartoon. I mean, HopeyCare? What are you, the missing care bear or something?

I know you still watch cartoons (and most likely live in your mother’s house) Alex, but do try to discuss this in a mature, adult manner.

Cut him some slack, Alex, he’s still a little tired from beating off to the video.

“No elle” indeed!

That reminds me, It’s time to dig out my “Christmas at the Ponderosa” album. I have it in both CD and vinyl.

Tintin: I give you your “nuclear option:”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu2SkBK1mR4

You know, if you ever want to end this war once and for all.

beating off to the video.

The original Michael Jackson version or the Weird Al Yankovic version?

Lol, pathetic. Hopey thought the American people and their representatives would just bend over, grab the ankles, and let him have his way while he rammed his agenda through, but we’re resisting, and quite successfully, I’d say!

Methinks the troll doth protest too much.
“It’s counter-intuitive, but you have to push.”

The Manakin video has a comment from a member of the band, That is awesome.

The president went to lobby the Senate to pass his signature legislation. Man, that’s pathetic. And unprecedented. And “debasing to the prestige of the presidency” Thank God for the patriots with the courage to protect our health insurance industry!

Begging AND ramming. Strange fantasy.

“It’s counter-intuitive, but you have to push.”

Ha, that’s exactly what I thought of, too! SPOOKY!

So today President McChange had to go so far as to debase the prestige of the Presidency by going down to the Senate and begging, hat in hand, for the Senate to please please please please pretty PLEASE pass his bill!
Mammy? As in “I’m beggin’ ya, mammy” ?

The president went to lobby the Senate to pass his signature legislation. Man, that’s pathetic. And unprecedented. And “debasing to the prestige of the presidency”

Real Men don’t need pansy-ass “laws” passed by some faggoty “Congress” to get shit done. They just say, “All right, you health insurance fuckers, listen up. From now on, denying coverage based on pre-existing conditions will get you a punch in the face. A punch from my COCK.” And if anyone looks at you funny, you whip that cock out and beat ’em to death with it, just to prove you’re not fucking around. That’s how Real Men get health care reform.

Begging AND ramming. Strange fantasy.

not to mention the thing about grabbing the ankles. I thought you needed a license to sport repression of that extent.

Too much. I’m calling parody.

Rush Limbaugh used the “grabbing the ankles” analogy on more than one occassion. That’s where I got it from. I don’t know what’s so strange about it.

It’s a reference to anal sex, you didn’t figure that out?

Yeah I did, Anthony. And I think it’s an appropriate metaphor. Obama and the Democrat Party is trying to ass-rape America.

Can we be best friends? Because you are my new favorite person.

Are you a sodomite, Anthoiny? A fag? Someone who likes to take it up his bunghole?

Fuck you. You’re sacrificing future generations and your health for base, selfish, hedonist pleasure. Much like people who marry interracially.

i think that just made me go insane.

Have you ever tried it. You might find it to be worth it.

Andrew, you’re dead wrong. Real Men don’t even need health car reform. They just will themselves back to health by having sex with lots of women and absorbing their life force. Then they eat those women and nine months later, shit out super-babies, then sell those superbabies which means health care can be achieved free market individual initiative don’t ram it down my throat SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP.

HopeyChange reminds me of every Republican I’ve ever met who walks into a gay bar for the first time. There’s the intitial hostility, then the nervous giggling, then, finally, surrender. I believe we’re at the initial hosility part. But we all know Hopey’s watched that video over and over again over the past few hours.

HopeyCare only has sex to make children. No one is surprised to learn he has no children.

The Manakin video has a comment from a member of the band, That is awesome.

And now you know where A&R people come from.

Am I a bad person for not caring so much when it’s only a YouTube-War thread that’s gone all troll-shaped?

Actually, it only bothers us that you have enough money to go to a movie in the first place. That should have been taxed away already. We’re going to need an audit.

Aaaaaand—Poof!!!

Disregard that last comment.

Yeah, that’s right libs, I had a big-ass tub of buttered popcron, with 250% of the daily “recommended” (by the nanny state) amount of sodium, and a big-ass drink of REGULAR coke, WITH CORN SYRUP, not that pussy lib diet stuff.

Suck it!

Please note that I claim to really, really hate gay people, and all I’ve done in this thread is use metaphors for buttsex, specifically gone after male posters (I’m on what, my third boycrush?) and tell people to “suck it”. But I hate gay people.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Lady Gaga album to unironically appreciate.

Homosexuals submit their on selfish, hedonistic, and base pleasures before the interests of future generations. So disgusting…

It’s not going to suck itself!

Also.

Oh wow, I’m directly quoting ALAN FUCKING KEYES now. This proves that a)I’m ridiculously fucking stupid, b)I’m ridiculously fucking closeted and c)I respect a Negro, so I am not a racist according to my fantasy, Calvinball definition of liberalism.

A truth, Troofie says: “Homosexuals submit their on.” Is never there a better prophet troll for creating wisdom for ages maximum? Thank you many, homo troll, for your courage words.

“Yeah, that’s right libs, I had a big-ass tub of buttered popcron, with 250% of the daily “recommended” (by the nanny state) amount of sodium, and a big-ass drink of REGULAR coke, WITH CORN SYRUP, not that pussy lib diet stuff.

Suck it!”

I believe we all feel appropriate cowed by Hopey’s choice of unhealthy food.

Thank you many, homo troll, for your courage words.

What could you possibly add to that?

Oh look! It’s badger, the Aspie ‘tard.

Back when I was in school Badger, we called you fucking retards.

Back when I was in school, I spent all day sniffing glue and giving blowjobs to the Young Republicans because otherwise they wouldn’t let me in.

Let’s just get this out of the way, shall we?

It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins, your astonishment will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your ideology is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent person will sigh in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.

Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

Wasn’t I claiming everyone but me was “immature” upthread?

I notice that the immature, aspie retard Badger didn’t “bookmark” Actor212’s claim that Corzine would win re-election in New Jersery, or “ifthathyunderdontgetya(tm) cunt or whatever the hell her name is claimed that Deeds would win in Virgnia. Why not, hmmm?

2009 is just the beginning. In 2010 the right wing will Party Like it’s 1994, Aspie Badger!

God! I am so sorry Troofie. Really, I don’t know why I did this. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big GAY crush on you! Suck on THAT!

…but really, I’m just returning the favor. Kisses!

Maybe I missed something, but where the fuck did Queen Troofie get the idea that Badger had Asperger’s? Is it just (as usual) something he made up? Did his new crush require something to talk dirty about? Inquiring minds want to know! Oh, no, wait, I mispronounced that. Inquiring minds want Troofie to chug Drano.

Oh, and I just love how the Aspie Badger won’t grow a sack and predict who will win in 2012, will you, Aspie?

Maybe I missed something, but where the fuck did Queen Troofie get the idea that Badger had Asperger’s?

Little Miss Ass-pie admitted it a few months ago. Ask the aspie retard.

“the immature, aspie retard”.

You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste… Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you – Troofie…? That accent you’re trying so desperately to shed – pure West Virginia. What was your father, dear? Was he a coal miner? Did he stink of the lamp…? And oh, how quickly the boys found you! All those tedious, sticky fumblings, in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere. Getting all the way – to Sadly, No.

You’re a virgin, aren’t you badger? A virgin living in your mommy’s basement? Confirm or deny.

OT, but the deficit is going to be $200 billion smaller than projected. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/07/business/07tarp.html?hp

So, how many outlets in the liberal, lieberal, Obama-sucking freedom-hating liberal media will report on this tidbit, I wonder? Any bets?

I sure am obsessed with another guy and whether or not he’s had sex. Don’t confirm or deny, because I just confirmed it.

I can say whatever the FUCK I WANT and you can’t do anything about it! I’m going to enjoy using you. Oh, what’s wrong, FREAK? Can’t find your pen, FREAK? Oh, that’s too bad, because maybe then you could write yourself a little note saying how much the world hates your fucking guts! You know what one of the reasons for short term memory loss is? Venereal disease! Maybe you sucked one too many diseased cocks and it turned you into a fuckin’ retard! Oh, you sad, sad FREAK, I can say whatever the FUCK I want and you can’t do anything about it. Because you won’t remember. And we’ll still be friends. Maybe even lovers. I’ll see you…soon.

“Little Miss Ass-pie admitted it a few months ago. Ask the aspie retard.”
Wait, are they two separate entities?
Heh. En-titties.

Oh look! The ass-pie is trying to be cute.

You were in special ed in high school, weren’t you, ass-pie?

Read this article:

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Aspies

That’s YOU aspie. I bet you drive an early ’90s Honda Civic with it’s floor covered in cheetos crumbs with an “I ROLL 20s” bumper sticker on the back, and you STILL live in your mama’s basement! Retard.

Wait. Okay, okay. Okay. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that? This used to be my specialty. You know, I was good in the living room. They’d send me in there, I’d do it alone. And now I just… I don’t know. But tonight, our little project, our company, had a very big night. A very, very big night. But it wasn’t complete, wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn’t share it with you. I couldn’t hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my Troofie. We live in a cynical world, a cynical, cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You complete me. And if I just had…

Linking to Encyclopedia Dramatica (for the second time, after no one cared the first) to call someone a friendless loser is like linking to Tucker Max to call someone a douchebag.

Troofie, look, Troofie! I said a lot of really crappy things the other night and I’m sorry about that. I haven’t been a very good friend to you and I’m sorry, ok. The truth is that I’m afraid to be your friend because I’m always gonna want more. But then I got to thinking that I’d rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all. You know, that’s a lie too. I want to take you out on a date. And I don’t care if it’s in the day or at night or whenever as long as it’s a real date. And I want to tell you how beautiful I think you are, inside and out. And I want to have babies with you, and I want to marry you and I love you, Troofie, I always have. Sorry, that’s like 20 years all at once.

Just…shut up. You had me at “suck it.”

Look, I don’t know about you, but I really believe that there is one person out there … for everybody. That’s what this is about … It’s not just some sappy love letter telling you how my heart stops everytime that I see you. It’s in there though. It’s not just to tell you that I think you’re more than just the homecoming queen. Or Tintin’s girlfriend. That there is this amazing person inside you that nobody bothers to see. It’s in there too … but, what it’s really about, is that if you’d just give me a chance, just one chance … maybe we could find out if there is a reason for all of this. Why you’re not with Tintin tonight and after a year, I’m still here with this letter. Maybe we could find out what that reason is. Y’know? It’s time to find out. I think I’m ready to do this. Finally. Any words of encouragement?

Get out of your mother’s basement, Badger.

Get out of your mother’s mouth, Troofie.

I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. And it’s not because you’re unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of every attribute and quality I’ve ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider. But I had to say it. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship -no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I’ll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that -at least for ten seconds- and try to dwell in it. Troofie, there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who’s ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it’s there between you and me. you can’t deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

(standing on a hillside outside Troofie’s house. Badger holds a boombox and turns on the tape player)

Love I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes

Love, I don’t like to see so much pain
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

And all my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
The heat I see in your eyes
In your eyes in your eyes
In your eyes in your eyes
In your eyes in your eyes

Okay, I seriously am curious as to how someone can call other people “immature” and then think he’s pwning someone by calling them a “retard ass-pie” (get it? Because it sounds like “ass” which means “ass”!)

I’ll be back to kick you libs’ asses if this orgasm Badger’s giving me ever ends. I might not be back.

From momm’s tit to the taxpayer’s dole…the typical move of the lib.

What the fuck are you talking about, Badger? Again, get the fuck out of your mother’s basement!

Dammit, I’m not getting through to him. Wait, maybe this one will work…

Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn’t want it, Troofie! So what we got now is Sadly, No! Everything’s built on that! That’s all we got, boy, fuckin’ all! So I hope you know that, if you never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on – and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you’ll kill me for needing somethin’ I don’t hardly never get! You have no idea how bad it gets! I’m not you, I can’t make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Troofie, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.

You’re still living in you mommy’s basment, aren’t you, Badger ass-pie? Retard.

From something incoherent and racist vaguely resembling a political opinion to a thinly-veiled desire to go down on a (always male) site regular… the typical move of the me. I’m fruitier than a smoothie made from mangos and Richard Simmons.

I spend all my time on the internet making people dislike me.
That is the closest to success I have ever been or ever will be.
Attention must be paid!

Jesus, even I think you need to come up with a second line, you fuckin’ homo.

Do you still live with your mom, Badger? Confirm/Deny.

Have you stopped beating off to thoughts of Badger saddling you, Troofie? Confirm/deny.

Deny.

I never had any such thoughts, so, deny.

Knew it. Thank you for *snicker* coming clean.

LLLLLLLLLLLL?

You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Troofie. Troofie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day and I’m really irritated and I’m looking for a little bit of sympathy and there’s Troofie, lying on the couch drinking a beer and chewin. No, not chewing–POPPING. So said to him, I said “you POP that gum one more time…” And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots… into his head.

What is this with this “LLL” shit? That was goober trolling me.

He’s begging to ram you, Hopey. We know you want it.

Goober tried so many times to troll me and ruin my reputation, but I resisted. Goober is an immature child.

I’m a little pussy bitch, so everything I’ve said that was so fucking stupid even MY worthless ass is embarrassed by it was “goober trolling me”. My plan are foolproof.

Troofie… and I need you to tell me the truth, son… who told you you had a reputation to ruin?

Now, as far as your famous penis goes, the penis is like some sort of bizarre sea slug or like a really long toe. I mean, it’s handy. Important even. But the pinnacle of sexual design? The top of the list of erotic destinations? I don’t think so. Ones first impulse is to kiss what? … To kiss the lips. Firm, delicious lips, sweet lips … surrounding a warm, moist, dizzyingly scented mouth. That’s what everyone wants to kiss. Not a toe. Not a sea slug. A mouth. And why do you think that is, stupid? … Because the mouth is the twin sister, the almost exact look-alike of what? … Not the toe. The mouth is the twin sister of … the vagina. And all creatures big and small seek the orifice, the opening, to be taken in, engulfed, to be squeezed, lovingly crushed by what is truly the all-powerful, all-encompassing — no, if it’s design you’re concerned with, hidden meaning, symbolism, power … forget the top of Mount Everest, forget the bottom of the sea, the moon, the stars, there is no place nowhere that has been the object of more ambitions, more battles than the sweet sacred mystery between a woman’s legs that I am proud to call my pussy.

I’m a little pussy bitch, so on those rare occasions when something I said was so fucking stupid MY dumb ass knows to be embarrassed by it, I’m gonna blame it on “Goober”, who probably doesn’t exist.

Is Goober your Dork Passenger, Troofie?

HopeyCare can you please post pictures of yourself here. It’s for… a project. SHIRTLESS, otherwise it won’t work. I can’t be more specific.

Dear Editor:
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Troofy. Papa says, ‘If you see it in Sadly No, it’s so. Please tell me the truth; is there a Troofy?

Lay off him, Anthony! Troofie’s MY butt-boy!

Yes, J Neo Marvin, there is a Troofie. He exists as certainly as stupidity and closeted homoerotic desire exist.

reltny said,

That reminds me, It’s time to dig out my “Christmas at the Ponderosa” album. I have it in both CD and vinyl.

And rubber. Don’t forget the rubber.

Fuck you all. I’m done here, for good.

Bye, libs.

Should we bookmark that?

Fuck you all. I’m done here, for good.

Bye, libs.

And lodging a finger inside of his nose,

And fondling his knob, up the chimney he rose…

Fuck you all

I think Badger has claimed dibs.

Is Troofie sayin’ he ain’t coming anymore? I’m pretty sure Badger can get Troofie to squeeze out a few more drops..

Is Troofie sayin’ he ain’t coming anymore? I’m pretty sure Badger can get Troofie to squeeze out a few more drops..

Son, the Badger has done a man’s job here today. Not many would volunteer, even fewer could see it through to the end. The sweet, sweet, succulent end.

Doors, asses, collisions etc.

Son, the Badger has done a man’s job here today. Not many would volunteer, even fewer could see it through to the end. The sweet, sweet, succulent end.

He’ll be back. He always comes back.

I believe we’re at the initial hosility part

Initial?

Troofie needs to go suck dicks in the men’s room of the Newark Greyhound bus station until he regains some small measure of self respect.

Fuck you all. I’m done here, for good.

Bye, libs.

Yes, he’ll be back (not to diminish St. RBoC’s fine work). There’s almost a plaintive, sad tone to Troofie’s latest promise to never return. It’s like this really is the only place he interacts with people. This, here, constitutes his highest form of social interaction.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

There’s almost a plaintive, sad tone to Troofie’s latest promise to never return.

It’s like when you’re two hours and 15 minutes into LOTR3, and the bad guys are dead and you’re fidgeting on a piece of popcorn that fell on your seat and you want to leave but they just keep going with the self-congratulation and good-byes and if I wanted all this metrosexual crap I would have gone to see a Kate Hudson movie and then it’s a year later and they’re still saying good-bye and oh my fucking god it’s never going to end.

It’s like that, also.

oh my fucking god it’s never going to end.

No, no it’s not. Like a moth to flame a blowtorch.

Like a moth to flame a blowtorch another male moth in a manly puerly-hetero way.

fqqqst

And while I meant “purely,” “puerly” works well. As would “peurily.”

Or “pearly.”

I don’t picture him as having that level of oral hygene….oh wait…

We skipped straight over conventional warfare and went right to n cukes.

FIXED!

I bet you drive an early ’90s Honda Civic with it’s floor covered in cheetos crumbs with an “I ROLL 20s” bumper sticker on the back, and you STILL live in your mama’s basement! Retard.

I understand the “living in basement” reference, and the cheetos(main wingnu food source).

But what is this trolls affection to “early ’90s Honda Civic”? Is this some sort of reference to japanese cars and lost US car manufacturer jobs? Or is is about cheap price of said vehicle? Or what?

And the “I ROLL 20s”, is that a some reference to RPG bumberstickers? Is that somehow relevant to the whole thing?

I have stated previously that I endorse cruel things in YouTube wars.

We had to destroy the video in order to save it?

The Red Badger of Courage said,
December 7, 2009 at 7:37

I love you.

Apparently, Troofie’s dumped me because I started making sense.

Apparently, Troofie’s dumped me because I started making sense.

I thought as you got older you stopped making sense.

Why a big wordpress?

I thought as you got older you stopped making sense.

More mature. See what I do there?

Euthanize those who euphemize.

Eufunninme?

She had Betty Euthan eyes?

In Euthan Eyes, the light the heat, (euthan eyes) I am complete…

If Cusak was trying to get the woman’s attention, shouldn’t the boombox have been playing “Sledgehammer”?

I believe we’re at the initial hosility part

Initial?

yea, as in F. U.

Weird, wild stuff

Not nuke-level like Gunther, but here’s a little shot from the bop gun

Weird, wild stuff

A little known fact is that NYC had to be similarly disguised against German U-Boat attacks. The underside of the city was painted to resemble a small fishing village. To this day, it’s possible to find trompe l’oeil dinghys and lobster traps in the subway.

Yeah, that’s right libs, I had a big-ass tub of buttered popcron, with 250% of the daily “recommended” (by the nanny state) amount of sodium, and a big-ass drink of REGULAR coke, WITH CORN SYRUP, not that pussy lib diet stuff.

Keep it up, you’re starting to get to us! It’s really going to bother me if you fill your Hummer with hi-test and let it idle in your driveway till it’s empty, and then crank up your electric heat to 80 degrees and leave the windows and doors open. And please, please don’t torture me by smoking a pack of ciggies a day and having unsafe sex! I don’t know how I’ll manage if you don’t buckle up your seat belt.

Please, please stop annoying us this way!

Yeah, that’s right libs, I had a big-ass tub of buttered popcron, with 250% of the daily “recommended” (by the nanny state) amount of sodium, and a big-ass drink of REGULAR coke, WITH CORN SYRUP, not that pussy lib diet stuff.

Also, do not blow out the pilot light on the gas oven, turn on the gas, and stick your head inside. Likewise, do not pull into the garage, close the door behind you, and sit in your idling car with all the windows down. Also, do not point a loaded shotgun at your head, taking care to make sure you get your whole head in front of the barrel before pulling the trigger.

Yeah, that’s right libs, I had a big-ass tub of buttered popcron, with 250% of the daily “recommended” (by the nanny state) amount of sodium, and a big-ass drink of REGULAR coke, WITH CORN SYRUP, not that pussy lib diet stuff.

You forgot the arsenic drip. You know how we libs got all crazy when Bush increased the allowable amount of arsenic in your drinking water.

Please, please stop annoying us this way!

Don’t give Troofie any ideas. If he starts up hitting himself in the head with a hammer I won’t know what to do, I’ll be so annoyed. And the harder he hits himself, the more it annoys me. Ruins days, weeks on end for me.

And standing near the opening of a wood chipper, you know, dangling that really long scarf near the spinning teeth to see how close it can get. I get so annoyed when Troofie does that.

So.

Listen, Troofie, Rush has said that great white sharks don’t scare him, that they are a figment of the liberal media’s imagination…

great white sharks don’t scare him,

Even when he swims in his bacon-flavored wet suit!

That “Danger! High Voltage!” sign is just part of the big government nanny-state trying to regulate every aspect of your life.

Helmets are for Liberals!

River ice is always safe to walk on. Don’t let the Socialests push you around!

One way streets and Crosswalks == Nanny-State .

Parachutes are for pussies, Troofie! God will put a nice soft cushion under you if you pray hard enough and if you don’t, then you deserved to die, you miserable sinner.

Seat belts are a pussy Volvo libcommie invention.

Chewing before swallowing was a commie invention. Real men swallow whole.

You know what would really make liberals mad?

If conservatives would hook their car exhausts into their house ventilation systems. After all, who needs clean air and all that crap?

Real men swallow whole

Interest. Website. Subscription.

I just couldn’t bear it if you layed down in front of socialist AMTRAK trains to make them stop and wreck their communist commuters (how come no one in the media ever makes that connection!!) schedules. Especially at night time. Day would be bad, but if you did it at night a lot of gays would miss their socialist-fascist sex parties, where they try to wreck proper marriages!

Dude, your eyeball will grow right back. And it really freaks the Libs out when you do it. Right, with a spork. It’s easy and doesn’t hurt at all, no matter what they say.

Once again, I have no choice: http://xkcd.com/419/

I just couldn’t bear it if you layed down in front of socialist AMTRAK trains to make them stop and wreck their communist commuters (how come no one in the media ever makes that connection!!) schedules.

Yea! Just think, Troofie, it would be like Tienamen Square! You’d be eternally famous, named etched on monuments like that fellow who held up those tanks…you know, whatsisname?

Once again, I have no choice:

Sshhh!

Once again, I have no choice: http://xkcd.com/419/

Liberalist fiction!

It’s kool-aid day at ASW…

Doughbob – **starbursts** Sarah loves me, so should you.

Nerdlinger – Wanted: More Iraqis to die for us.

The Ayatollah is Dead Faster Please – Stuff going on Iran. Trust me, I should know.

Derbivore – Tiger Woods upsets starfuckers like me

[ Ad Break – Calling all Dorks]

Victorus Nostalgius Utopius Fappo Hanschlongus – Van Jones still bugs me. Science is not science. Also.

From Debris-shire’s piece linked above:

The defenestration of Tiger is a tad more distressing to conservatives, I think, than to liberals, as we have long admired the man’s resolute refusal to have anything to do with politics, and most particularly with the race rackets.

Now we liberals learn it wasn’t “resolute refusal” so much as utter exhaustion…

*sigh*

And from Veneral Disease Hand-job’s column linked above:

The Enlightenment taught them to welcome transparency and free expression, not (as in the Medieval Age) to form cabals to hound out heretics.

Yea, except for that whole “Galileo” thing…

The defenestration of Tiger

Did all of him go out the window, or was it a glory-hole type of situation?

Did all of him go out the window, or was it a glory-hole type of situation?

Let’s put it this way: Elin had his ass measure for a wall-plaque.

Elin had his ass measure for a wall-plaque.

Made of diamonds, if news reports are to be believed.

If Tiger gives me 80 mill, he can cheat on me all he wants.

Ted the Slacker said,

December 7, 2009 at 18:24

Lord love a duck!

No doubt about it: Doughbob’s “if I’m good enough for Sarah, I should be good enough for you” is a real keeper – straight from the “Pass Me Your Zippo, I Need To See If My Gas-Tank Is Empty” school of logic.

“I don’t care if the other kids are beating you up or not, honey – if that red floral atrocity Sarah calls a jacket is good enough for her, it should be good enough for you!”

“Hey, boss – if quitting when she’s only halfway done is good enough for Sarah, it should be good enough for you!”

“Gosh, officer, I only shot out one or two windows on that school-bus, & those kids were hardly wounded at all! Come on – if only being busted on one or two ethics violations is good enough for Sarah, it should be good enough for AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!”

Doughbob Loadpants says;
“I’d just like to say that if I’m good enough for Sarah, I should be good enough for you.”

It does not speak well of Palin that the best endorser she can find to thank is Jonah “Fudgie Pantload” Goldberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg….

Jim makes my comment superfluous. Thanks Jim.

Speaking of Sarah Palin mindslaves what has John Ziegler been doing lately? Has he gotten in anymore drunken fights on tv.

“we have long admired the man’s resolute refusal to have anything to do with politics.” because if it is one thing conservatives are known for its not politicizing things.

we have long admired the man’s resolute refusal to have anything to do with politics

Of course they have. Darling Tiger the corporate cash-machine, is so much more presentable and huggable at the country club, not like that Muhammad Ali guy who was just a big black DFH.

Speaking of Sarah Palin mindslaves what has John Ziegler been doing lately? Has he gotten in anymore drunken fights on tv.

If there has to be a Palin Administration, please oh please let John Ziegler be her White House Press Sectretary. If only for the lulz because G-d knows I’ll need them during a Caribou Barbie presidency.

a Caribou Barbie presidency.

She’d at least be out of office earlier than most presidents.

She’d at least be out of office earlier than most presidents.

She might rival Z. Taylor…

Thanks Jim.

That’s not superfluous – it’s independant verification.

Now we just need to find the benevolent savant who knows the formula for an effective antidote, & we’ll be rockin’ teh casbah!

She’d at least be out of office earlier than most presidents.

No way. She values the title of President. It’s easier for her to quit working than quit the office of POTUS.

It’s all about the title for her.

Muhammad Ali guy who was just a big black DFH.

And now that Alzheimer’s has set in, a Republican

No. Seriously. He is.

I believe we’re at the initial hosility part.
You misspelled “hosability”.

They covered it with camouflage netting and trompe l’oeil to make it look like a rural subdivision from the air.

That is not a hairpiece. I am merely protecting my scalp from Japanese aerial attack.

Wow. The chorus and fiddle solo sound like the call to prayer, as performed at the Grand ‘ol Oprey. Death to Norway/Nashville!

Cripes — that was supposed to go two posts down.

Gunther does that to everyone, Gary.

Why?

Oh wow, I’m the poster of this video! Never knew there was a place where they posted so many comments about it! Thanks!