Don’t know much about industry
Over at RenewMyVows, Kristia Cavere has got it going on:
The list of industries which have failed is alarming: textiles, automobile, production, agricultural, energy, healthcare, banking, education. This is the logical outcome of the ever-growing Democratic control of American industry, which has, during the course of the past fifty years, accomplished their ideal form of socialism. The government now controls the innovation of business, and while commerce is floundering Washington is giving taxpayer-funded subsidies to their comrades.
Let us concede, right from the start, that we don’t care about the production industry. We don’t even know why anyone would even want to go into the producting industry. As for the rest Kristia is totally right: if there is one reason why the textiles industry has failed (alarming us in the process), it’s the government. It’s not competition from low-wage countries coupled with free trade agreements. No, no, no: instead the Democrats have achieved their goal of socialism which is to take control of an industry in order to ensure that it fails. (Or is the ideal form of socialism the goal of American industry? It’s hard to tell.)
And we do miss the energy industry — indeed, we’re glad we live in Germany and, unlike our US-based readers, can access Sadly, No! on electricity-powered computers rather than those that rely scurrying hamsters.
In 1993, Congress passed the Budget Reconciliation Act (now Section 162(m) of the Internal Revenue Code) due to their belief that financial executives weren’t taking enough risks. Instead of allowing salary to reward the performance of directors Congress favored stock options as executive compensation, which they believed would increase risk and which they allowed to qualify for limitless corporate tax deductions. Now Congress is blaming the very risk taking that they forced on the financial industry, as the reason for the current economic crisis.
Because in the old days, (short-term) performance-based compensation didn’t encourage risks, whereas stock options do, because the evolution of a company’s shares is totally unrelated to its performance. And when something is tax-deductible, it means that the ideal of socialism has been achieved. Along with the production industry. Also, management is typically made up of liberals:
The Democrats destroyed our industries, and those that were most controlled by the Democrats are the industries which are the most damaged through unions and left-leaning management.
Yet no introduction of a new wingnut would be complete without an Amazing Wingnut Fact:
It is a façade that Republicans control Wall Street and big business. Most of those who contributed to Obama’s campaign were from large businesses in the financial industry.
Well, we’d like to close with something innovative here but seeing as how the government controls the innovation business, to which we belong, we’ll offer this: Kristia has come here to chew bubblegum and make a total ass of herself. And she’s all out of bubblegum.
Yeah, but Hollywood movies kick ass all over the world!
Yeah, but Hollywood movies kick ass all over the world!
That’s because Hollywood is controlled by Republicans, as you will often hear at Big Hollywood. Or maybe it’s the opposite, I can’t remember.
Well, the Democrat-controlled abortion industry is doing quite well, but does Miss Cavegirl give the party its props?
Sweet jeebus, save us from republican kewpie dolls trying to do economic analysis.
“Well, the Democrat-controlled abortion industry is doing quite well”
This soon will be outsourced to India. Damned Hindifascists!!
fix my screen name dammit.
Wait — past 50 years? Democrats have been in charge the past 50 years?
Holy fuck — the Republicans had the Congress from 1994 to 2000-fucking-6.
Have they gotten to the point that they truly believe no one else will remember as far as 3 fucking years ago?
Democrats have been in charge the past 50 years?
Yes. Including the entire span of the war with Iran which has been going on since 1979, and during which Democrat President Reagan sold arms to the enemy.
Have they gotten to the point that they truly believe no one else will remember as far as 3 fucking years ago?
Since they don’t, why should anyone else? Putting themselves in the place of others ain’t exactly their wheelhouse.
Have they gotten to the point that they truly believe no one else will remember as far as 3 fucking years ago?
Three years ago, when President Clinton melted down the statue of the bull on Wall Street and used the bronze to cast humorless dildos for man-hating lesbians? You mean that 3 years ago?
What are you? Some bottom-feeding, scum-sucking algae eater?
someone doesn’t know what “facade” means.
So democratic control started unabated 50 years ago? Oh where are brave GOP leaders like FDR and Truman when you need them?
I used to work in the industry industry. Now I work in the business business. Now I’m going to get the papers get the papers.
That whole Iran/Contra thing, fucking liberals.
Looking at her picture, it looks like the Facebook school of cropping- ” I love this picture but I need to crop out the loser behind me, no one will notice my arm at this weird angle and the half hand under it.”
The building industry has been hamstrung by unnecessary government regulations on façades and Potemkin villages.
I used to work in the industry industry.
Then you got beri-beri and had to go to Baden-Baden for the cure-cure.
In 1993, Congress passed the Budget Reconciliation Act (now Section 162(m) of the Internal Revenue Code) due to their belief that financial executives weren’t taking enough risks. Instead of allowing salary to reward the performance of directors Congress favored stock options as executive compensation, which they believed would increase risk and which they allowed to qualify for limitless corporate tax deductions.
Oh bullshit. The rationale at the time was that the outrageous salaries people were awarding themselves and their buddies were not related to job performance at all, while stock options were totally performance-based because the worth of the stock depends on how the company’s actually doing. Who takes bigger risks, someone whose salary is insulated from bad results or someone whose pay takes a big hit when s/he gambles on something stupid?
I used to work in the industry industry.
Hey I worked in the Walla Wall office of industry industry! Do you know Bob?
Walla WALLA
Also, apparently stock options as part of executive compensation became widespread in the 50’s according to Donald P. Delves.
I’m used to the “who’s GW Bush?” routine, but the “what Reagan?” bit is new to me. I need to go collect my brain from the splatter on the wall behind me.
The “education industry” has failed?
Maybe “past fifty years” is just a fancy way of saying “some time in the past that I don’t know and frankly am too lazy to look up or whatever”.
Note that what’s-her-face has a master’s degree, so yeah.
The “education industry” has failed?
In at least one case, evidently.
Luckily for Ms Cavere, the “Making Shit Up” industry has never been more lucrative.
Go back to your own blog, Mr Gravitino.
The beating-Smut-to-the-joke industry is doing swell.
Eight million years ago, when George W. Bush was elected, the economic was successfuller. Now that Obama has been President for the last 300 million years, America has lost its spirit of innovation that Ronald Reagan gave to Adam Smith 200 billion years ago, and we may never get it back.
Also, there are vegetables on that sandwich. Also.
Kristia Cavere
Has thoughts she’d like to share.
She can’t maintain her bonhomie
Since Democrats trashed the economy.
So this is socialism?
Okay, okay. Mustering all of my sympathy, here’s my theory of this bit of nuttiness: Cavere can see that the economy isn’t working. It’s full of a corrupt union between corporate executives and politicians. But in her universe, bad politicians are called Democrats and corporatism is socialism. Maybe it’s all just a poverty of vocabulary on Ms. Cavere’s part.
as always a grain of truth. she’s right that the same interests, families, and businesses stand at the whip handle end of both putative wings of the american property party. beyond that, of course, the poor girl child has made a regular pig’s breakfast of her own talking points.
TORTURE THE KULAKS!!!
Link for the foregoing.
I dress the neighborhood children up in costumes so that they may learn from recent historical events, but they never know what I’m talking about, and the parents are getting better with their restraining orders.
Maybe it’s all just a poverty of vocabulary on Ms. Cavere’s part.
And I suppose you just want to redistribute vocabulary from those of us who happen to have earned ourselves more words?! You socialists are all the same.
Sweet jeebus, save us from republican kewpie dolls trying to do economic analysis.
She’s worse than McMegan.
I dress my kid up as a Kenyan birth certificate registrar and OFF WE GO!
And the libruls do not care what sort of inflation crisis they are endangerating by spending our vocabulary into debt.
I coulda picked other quotes. Any other quotes of hers. Randomly. And has the same thing to say to any or all of them.
“These words do mean what you think they mean. None of them. Nor in any order you place them.”
Or “had.”
Three years ago, when President Clinton melted down the statue of the bull on Wall Street and used the bronze to cast humorless dildos for man-hating lesbians?
Boy, y’know, just sayin’, but those would be COLD, wouldn’t they?
Or maybe man-hating humorless-dildo-using lesbians LIKE cold. Hell if I know.
It is a façade that Republicans control Wall Street and big business.
well, YEAH, other than the fact that
a) corporations are inherently conservative by their very nature, and
b) she doesn’t know what the fuck “façade ” means, but boy, did she do that “funny c” thing. How can you argue with high-ANSI, after all?
KICK AÇÇ!!!
I notice there’s been very little coverage of the Stupak debacle on this blog. Keep carrying water for the Democrats, folks. We told you Progressives would be thrown under the Hope™ and Change™ sooner or later. Looks like Obama and his party chose “sooner”.
Told you so! The biggest restrictions on abortion rights in a quarter century–passed under the party you voted for. Just goes to show what I said was right, that we have one party in this country with two right wings.
Meant to say thrown under the Hope™ and Change™ Bus etc.
There was a comprehensive article between the sports section and the op-ed page.
And you all are still going to vote for the Democrats next time, aren’t you? And volunteer for them. And give them money.
Talk about battered wife syndrome…
I notice there’s been very little coverage of the Stupak debacle on this blog.
That’s the thing with the mayonnaise, right?
Every time I order it they always overcook the Stupak and it’s all mushy.
Or maybe man-hating humorless-dildo-using lesbians LIKE cold. Hell if I know.
The fact is, this just proves that LIEberaals are the real homephobes.
In New Zealand, in order to teach history in a creative and memorable way, the Nanny State draws a picture on the pavement with magic chalk, and we step into it.
The fact is, this just proves that LIEberaals are the real homephobes.
I support the right of homophones to Mary.
Shirley you meant “the rite of homophones”.
Hey, does the Nanny State really wear those green and white striped socks, or was that just a creative liberty by the show?
Shirley you meant “the rite of homophones”.
Writes of homophones.
And don’t call me surely.
The episode where Simon was beaten senseless by a chalk football hooligan was a little dark.
I want to know where that poster who said the only reason I didn’t support Democrats is because I am a white male, and that we needed to keep Democrats in office instead of voting for the Green Party because Republicans would mean abortion restrictions, and I just COULDN’T understand that because I was a white male.
That argument looks kind of fucking dumb now, doesn’t it? You know, given the fact the Democrats just passed major restrictions on abortion rights.
In New Zealand, in order to teach history in a creative and memorable way, the Nanny State draws a picture on the pavement with magic chalk, and we step into it.
That’s mighty caucasian of you.
their mother dressed up Kristia and Jon in historical period costumes, and had them act out the historical events as she narrated the tale.
Examples include “The Rape of Lucretia,” “The Rape if the Sabine Women” and “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (with an emphasis on Rape).”
a) corporations are inherently conservative by their very nature, and
As is the Democratic party, as it turns out.
At least one other person on this blog doesn’t have Battered Progressive Syndrome.
Vote for my shitty eighth-party candidates and thus get Republicans elected! Otherwise someone in power might restrict abortion access!
Buzz off.
Come out in the open and debate me instead of engaging in cowardly nym-jacking, cobag.
Hey Progressive Voice, are you suggesting that this would have turned out better under McCain?
What we need is a new goddamn Constitution, folks. We’ve rules-lawyered this one into uselessness.
Stupak amendment
Democratic – 64 yes, 194 no
Republican – 176 yes, 1 present
Everybody vote Republican, the party that supports abortion rights!
“Progressive Voice” is your real name? Are you one of Jason Lee’s kids?
I’m saying it would have made zero difference, octopod. The Democrats and Republicans are the right wing and far-right wing, respectively, of the Property Party.
We need to send a message that the Democrats need to move further to the left, and maybe after they lose a few times due to third party leftist candidates they’ll learn their lesson.
I mean, Jesus, even the wingnuts understand this. They’re effectively pushing the Republican Party to the right (witness NY-23).
It’s time to duel!
When looking for serious debate, I always head for wherever the snark and sniggering are loudest — because I am Wile E. Coyote, SUPER GENIUS!
I’d rather have thirty Democratic Senators that are to the left of Bernie Sanders than sixty Harry Reids.
Examples include “The Rape of Lucretia,” “The Rape if the Sabine Women” and “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (with an emphasis on Rape).”
The re-enactment of The Rape of the Lock was less successful, as the hair-costume tended to chafe.
We need to emulate the wingnuts’ strategy! Because we all saw how well it’s been working for them!
I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than listen to Purity Troll jerk off into his sweat sock, take a deep inhale and call it “serious debate”.
Come on guys, be patient. Someday the Democratic Party will love us–we just have to vote for them more. Give them more money. Support them. ONE day we will be loved–its usually our fault, anyway.
I’d rather have thirty Democratic Senators that are to the left of Bernie Sanders than sixty Harry Reids.
I’d rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
Come out in the open and debate me instead of engaging in cowardly nym-jacking, cobag.
sixty Harry Reids
I had those once, but I got oneathem Brazilian waxing things I saw on a teevee infomercial and it cleared right up.
It’s just a flesh wound!
Jus’ retahn it when you’re done usin’ it, Pere.
can you guys make fun of this please?: http://www.renewamerica.com/cartoon/dale/091104
Of course, some ladies prefer Nads.
But, then again, whadoIknow.
I dunno if that dumbshit cartoon only had Obama smoking to make him look like Don Draper, but either way it mystifies me how the wingnuts have decided to go after him for smoking, while not pausing for a second in their insistence that only a commufascist would want to regulate the tobacco industry, and that any proof that smoking is detrimental to your health is just “junk science” (which is apparently defined by wingnuts as “science that might result in CEOs making less”).
“Of course, some ladies prefer Nads. “
The Teabaggers are especially fond of it, I hear.
Fixxed-it
As opposed to the last 8 years, when the GOP platform of reducing taxes, reduce more taxes, repeal regulation and oversight, and repeal taxes, went on to make the US economy the greatest rainbow majick ponie in the 7 universes.
well it does make a kind of sense for a progressive voice in the desert to wander here in order to better proselytize the meaty part of the curve. the writers at s,n (gavin in particular, natch) are top notch but most of the regular commenters are pretty run of the mill (no no, not you. you’re a special unique snowflake of unique uniqueness…i’m talking about the others. why you’ve said the same thing about them yourself, from time to time.). i mean there are already nuanced debates taking place in some places–why not minister also to the prostitutes and the money changers, ya know?
I’m more popular than Jesus!
Oh, hey, what a coincidence this Progressive Troll sounds a whole lot like those other trolls!
I showed up coz somebody just called “troll! troll! troll!” and it’s about to get all Spirit of the Beehivey all up in here, y’all.
. i mean there are already nuanced debates taking place in some places–why not minister also to the prostitutes and the money changers, ya know?
If he is unsatisfied with our snark, I suggest he wrap the unused portion carefully in tissue paper and return it to us for a full refund.
Or he could sit & rotate – that works, too.
Well, at least this troll has an intriguing new flavor to it. I mean, Gary Ruppert is delicious and satisfying and all, but occasionally one wants to cleanse the palate with the taste of an exotic species of troll. Otherwise, internet ennui is liable to set in, and you know what that means; actually getting some work done.
Well, at least this troll has an intriguing new flavor to it.
Nah, it’s just tw00fie in “Purity Troll” mode- nothing new under the sun.
“occasionally one wants to cleanse the palate with the taste of an exotic species of troll”
That’s swell and all and I understand the urge but really, this is just a recycled purity troll and thus…
thuss…
zzzzZZZZZzzz.
We hates the BBBB, precious! Yes we does! He’s tricksy and types too fast.
Pity didn’t stay my hand this time.
In other words, “‘Scuze mah fin-GAHS!”
That argument looks kind of fucking dumb now, doesn’t it? You know, given the fact the Democrats just passed major restrictions on abortion rights.
What looks really fucking dumb is some troll blathering on about how the Democrats “passed major restrictions on abortion rights” in a bill that isn’t even halfway towards becoming a law. “Passing” when it comes to legislating means it became the law. Perhaps it flew right over your head, Shecky, that the Senate is making clear that they won’t accept the Stupak amendment. So who am I supposed to find more credible, the men and women who will, you know, actually be voting on the final bill, or some dipshit who shows up here under a stupid handle and spends hours screeching about how the sky is falling?
I bow to your superior tastes.
you shouldn’t take it so personally when someone shows up and wants to play. the occasional slap can bring that lost luster back to your pallid cheeks.
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat.
the occasional slap can bring that lost luster back to your pallid cheeks.
eeeewww ewwwww
TMI TMI
As far as I can recall, our choices weren’t between John McCain & Sarah Palin, Barack Obama & Joe Biden, and OUR TRUE LEFTIST REVOLUTIONARY FUTURE.
Our choices in this world, the real world, the one which exists, as opposed to the one comprised entirely of people talking about their consciences, were between letting the Palintide completely destroy everything or let some moderately sane representatives of the business classes run things.
I’m certainly happier that we chose the latter; I’m sad that I wasn’t on the ballot box to be elected Master of the Universe and Instant Winner of Every Big Lottery EVAR, but, you know, that’s because I live in the actual world, instead of the one made up of atoms of attitude.
atoms of attitude
Quarks of Querulousness
I support Obama and think he’s doing a great job. Back to the gulag for you progressive purity troll.
shorter el cid-erino (if you’re not into that whole brevity thing):
i find it so amazing how….i go where i’m led, i go where i’m led. i go where i’m led. i go where i’m led.
(I suspect we could be losing out. please guard my bed. please guard my bed.)
My Mom was wunna them preverts what pernounced “Mary,” “marry”, and “merry” three differnt ways, but apparently it ain’t heredimatary-like.
Oh, and Troofie…I’m sure you would prefer 30 Democratic Senators to the left of Bernie Sanders to 60 Harry Reids. Unfortunately for you, before you Tax Revolt™ assholes destroyed the “education industry”, it taught a few of us which number is larger.
#
Substance McGravitas said,
November 11, 2009 at 1:48 (kill)
The “education industry” has failed?
Note that what’s-her-face has a master’s degree, so yeah.
#
Smut Clyde said,
November 11, 2009 at 1:48 (kill)
The “education industry” has failed?
In at least one case, evidently.
ALL. ONE. GUY.
I don’t think I have to agree with everything Obama does to prefer him, still, to the Republican seeders of Reaganite destruction. Our choices aren’t simply between leftist rebellion fantasy, libertard teabagger blargling, and Obama worship. This is a modern society with complex structures of power typically dominated by the uppermost economic classes. Any sort of change favorable to the majority of the population is, by design, difficult to achieve.
“Kristia is committed to serving and protecting her country in every way she can, thus ensuring her brother’s memory is honored and remembered.
After college, Kristia worked as a senior financial analyst in the healthcare field for five years until September 2007, when she began graduate school full-time.
In May 2009, Kristia received a Masters in Science degree in “Defense and Strategic Studies” from Missouri State University, which is located in Fairfax, Virginia right outside our nation’s Capitol. During the spring 2009 semester, she had an internship at the Pentagon in the Office of the Secretary of Defense.”
So Kristina, being committed to serving and protecting her country in every way she can, works for an insurance company, and then gets some weird degree from Missouri State University in Fairfax Virginia (?) and goes on the wingnut welfare circuit. Instead of say, enlisting?
kids, you’re so lost, even i can’t bring ya home
“the occasional slap can bring that lost luster back to your pallid cheeks.”
Interest, newsletter, &c.
So, the troll’s not only dumb, it’s repetitive. Great. Even better. The troops from the Revolutionary Naderite Front, Quitter Division, have assembled in the dark since Nader betrayed every single one of his promises that he was really running to build up the infrastructure of a national Green Party. Like most egoists, it turns out to have all been about him, and not the sort of institution building that people generally older than the 4-11 year range realize must occur in order to push for real change. Or maybe atavistic screams have more of a world-historic revolutionary effect that that idiot Karl Mark envisioned.
That fucking bourgie pussy Karl Marx said that it was urgent that workers use what power they had in the democratically achieved vote to attempt to tame the more dangerous and exploitative powers of the bourgeois state, but then he was some old fag who had never learned the anarchic power of the collage.
“the occasional slap can bring that lost luster back to your pallid cheeks.”
Interest, newsletter, &c.
awesome simpsons reference, dude. newsletter. HA!
Hey, what a surprise. Missouri St at Fairfax turns out to be Scaife-funded incubator for republicans seeking to promete midle eastern wars.
http://www.rightweb.irc-online.org/profile/Missouri_State_Universitys_Department_of_Defense_and_Strategic_Studies
Ok, you guys know what I meant to spell.
Or maybe atavistic screams have more of a world-historic revolutionary effect that [sic] that idiot Karl Mark envisioned.
ahh yes. karl mark. solid guy. played intramural ultimate frisbee with him. great hair. red sox fan, though. 🙁
but anyway, what are allusions to marx in 2009 if not “atavistic screams”? silly, silly.
I hope these crazies keep manufacturing crazy bullshit any moron can see through for as long as it takes for them to lose the next election and the election after that.
It’s not as if they are bothered by losses anyway since their crazy extends to turning every loss into a victory dance.
i know totally omfg like i said total old fag who needs old farts like that who wrote stuff when you can listen to megan mcaddled on the radio box?
Hey, dancing koalas, cool!
The Republican Party of the neo-Confederate Ghost Shirts Rebellion.
who the hell is cloning Harry Reid?
And why do we even need one of them?
Evidently, this shameless beeotch has no problem exploiting her brother’s death to garner attention:
I am very concerned!
~
Via Balloon Juice: In wake of Fort Hood shootings, Marine defends America from Greek Orthodox priests:
Hmmmph. Should have known that the Obama-controlled police would be siding with the terrorists who are sinisteristically disguising themselves as old Greek patriarchs now.
Oops, the priest wasn’t old. But he had a beard and was speaking some sort of mystical code language which wasn’t English, so it was obvious that he was a terrorist.
The list of industries which have failed is alarming: textiles, automobile, production, agricultural, energy, healthcare, banking, education
No clothes, no cars, no stagecraft, no food, no heat, no medicine, no money, no schools.
AW FUCK IS IT 1982 AGAIN?
Sure, you can turn your nose up to this misunderstood Floridian patriot. But I myself have found myself in a similar predicament when I decked out a family of Japanese tourists thinking they were North Korean spies. It happens more often then you think.
…instead of offering help, “Bruce struck the priest on the head with a tire iron.”
spare the rod, spoil the greek
No clothes, no cars, no stagecraft, no food, no heat, no medicine, no money, no schools.
No phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Greek Orthodox priest who wasn’t wearing a visible crucifix. I guess Mr. Bruce shares the opinion of Antonin Scalia that the cross is a non-denominational symbol, like the Nike swoosh.
No clothes, no cars, no stagecraft, no food, no heat, no medicine, no money, no schools.
No phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury?
No phone, no food, no pets…
I ain’t got no cigarettes.
and you end up in Bangor, Maine
hey, don’t that Nike swish look kinda like one a them islammunist crescent moons? Think about it.
Funny how Cavere leaves out the part where companies just outright shipped massive numbers of jobs overseas, & even dismantled the fucking factories themselves & shipped them off to either the Third World or the Maquilladora Econo-Orgy-Zone, once they had enough Deregulation Moonshine under their unborn-iguana-skin belts to pull it off without having to worry about any penalty – I bet that kind of thing can put a real cramp in your industry industry.
That this went on almost exclusively under GOP administrations is a mere political/optical illusion, probably the result of swamp-gas! Who are you going to believe – a lady with a real bonafide DEGREE or your lying brain-cells?!?!?
Yep, if only it weren’t for those corporation-loving Democrats & their endless lust for deregulation!
NEXT UP ON GOLDSTARFISTER: Why do the Democrats hate big-business, free-enterprise & the magic of the open market? They’re strangling the helpless infant that is American business in its solid gold cradle with their anti-commerce fetish with over-regulation!
Funny how Cavere leaves out the part where companies just outright shipped massive numbers of jobs overseas, & even dismantled the fucking factories themselves & shipped them off to either the Third World or the Maquilladora Econo-Orgy-Zone, once they had enough Deregulation Moonshine under their unborn-iguana-skin belts to pull it off without having to worry about any penalty – I bet that kind of thing can put a real cramp in your industry industry.
but but but shut up, that’s why!
unborn-iguana-skin
it complements my placental collagen mask (used by Jennifer Lopez)
Sorry about that … here, have a little DIY fun to make up for it.
So, the troll’s not only dumb, it’s repetitive. Great. Even better.
And yet you guys go for it all the same. And then you bitch about the low quality of trolls here. Isn’t there a Santayana quote covers this?
healthcare, banking,
Obviously two industrious productive, production industries, which have like totally suffered from ‘way too much government regulation of late.
Are we sure Bruce didn’t strike her in the head with a tire iron? It would explain her “writing” quite nicely.
I am disappointed that no one has mentioned the latest PENIS news. .
Some scientist just grew a rabbit wang in a petri dish.
Some scientist just grew a rabbit wang in a petri dish.
Why, they’ll be able to breed like …….
wow, let’s all bring it w/ the Santayana quotes. Also, some quotes from that guy who did peyote w/ Don Juan, that’d be cool.
the Santayana quotes
Black Magic Woman!!!
But are George Santayana and Giorgio Santillana two different people or not? I get their quotes mixed up all the time!
I am deeply concerned that Democrats have not learned their lessons after two consecutive massive electoral victories. My concern is concerning. I beg you, Democrats, stop doing what you’re doing. Now.
And I’m totally not the usual troll. At all.
I am not comfortable about piling onto Kristia Cavere because
(a) her website leaves the impression that she is screwed up by the the death of her brother in one of Bush’s elective wars, and she is now looking around for ways that the Republican party is not to blame the state of things;* and
(b) she’s as cute as a button.
* It would be nice if people who have apparently acquired a degree in forensic psychology thereby became immune to the errors of cognitive-dissonance reduction, but that’s not the way it works.
And I’m totally not the usual troll. At all.
I don’t know who you are but that hat is FABULOUS.
First they came for the giant fiendish octopi, and I did not speak out because I was not a giant fiendish octopus;
Then they came for the sporacles, and I did not speak out because I was not a sporacle;
Then they came for the ancient coiled dragons, and I did not speak out because I was not an ancient coiled dragon;
Then they came for the gray elf wizards, and I did not speak out because I was not a gray elf wizard;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.
cute as a button
don’t be ashamed – the giant fiendish octopi never spoke out for anyone else, so it’s not down to you alone, if you never spoke out for them.
otoh, the sporacles are way pissed, ‘cos you ignored their pleas.
The domain sporacle.com may be for sale by its owner!
If my soul has a shape, then it is an ellipse. And this slap is a gift, cause your cheeks have lost their luster..
Veiled penis reference?
Amidoingitrite?
Can I just interrupt to say Smut Clyde’s post way the hell up in the thread may be the very first time I’ve ever seen a clerihew in the wild?
I thought you used tire irons to separate Greeks.
I guess that’s Greek sailors. Or Catholic priests. You understand my confusion.
At Circus-circus?
Also known as – between the wetsuit and the humorless dildo.
That, I suspect, would be the humorless part.
Also, apparently stock options as part of executive compensation became widespread in the 50’s according to Donald P. Delves.
Eight million years ago, when George W. Bush was elected, the economic was successfuller. Now that Obama has been President for the last 300 million years, America has lost its spirit of innovation that Ronald Reagan gave to Adam Smith 200 billion years ago, and we may never get it back
the very first time I’ve ever seen a clerihew in the wild
Hans Baldung Grien
Woke up feeling mean.
“Shall I draw ponies?
Or zombies and bonies?“
You know what would make me happy?
If anybody who wrote these pieces had to acknowledge that their guys were in charge for quite a while there in the very recent past.
I’m not saying they’d even have to address it in a satisfactory manner. Just acknowledge that, to someone, somewhere, it might be a relevant fact. That’s all.
That’s not so much to ask, is it?
I feel like Oliver Twist asking for more gruel.
Ooooh, purity trolls: http://xkcd.com/661/
Anonymous was Mrs. __B’s computer.
she’s as cute as a button.
Ehhh, I mean, de gustibus and stuff, and she has that long horsey face that I actually kinda like (shut up, so I’m a mutant, so what) but she just doesn’t do it for me, much less button-ish and all that.
Ooooh, purity trolls: http://xkcd.com/661/
Now Billy needs to make a poster of her with a Hitler mustache and walk the school halls wielding an AR-15 and talking about Trees of Liberty and watering roots with blood.
‘Cause apparently that’s perfectly rational political discourse according to Teh Intrartubes here, as well.
(pardon me, Wingnut Boss-man and Crazy Anti-Health Reform Lady had a “consultation” at work last night. I didn’t hear any of it, but I somehow get the impression they were discussing THE EVIL BLACK USURPER and his nefarious socialistic plot to kill all the old people. Yeesh, just what I need – Wolverines in the pharmacy.)
I am deeply concerned that Democrats have not learned their lessons after two consecutive massive electoral victories
the democrats can raise money and win elections, in order to raise more money to win more elections, so that more money can be raised and more elections can be won. naturally, pursuing issues like gay rights, significant environmental reforms, significant reforms in the regulation of the financial sector, any health-care package
running dogsblue dogs don’t support–well all these threaten the sacred cycle of raising money and winning elections.but yeah, dissenting points of view are trolling, and all trolls are troofie, and as a last resort point out in serious, self-important, somber tones that this is after all a comedy blog. which is true enough–the main page posts are often intentionally funny, whereas the comments often descend into a riotous circle jerk. last one to finish eats the cracker. ready, steady, go!
there’s probably a simpsons quote that addresses this, or an achewood. stay hip, my friends.
Teh Intrartubes here, as well.
omg rofl internet spelling! hey man did you catch adult swim last night? totally edgy.
The list of industries which have failed is alarming: textiles, automobile, production, agricultural, energy, healthcare, banking, education.
Let’s deconstruct this:
Textiles — have been failing for decades, ever since basically slavery was abolished, because it’s a lot cheaper to pay a Messican (and even they have an illegal immigration problem from Guatamelans taking those jobs over, which is forcing them El Norte) $5 a day than it is to pay an American even sub-minimum wage.
And that’s before you consider how much cheaper everything else, from transportation to raw materials, is in Mexico.
Automobiles — It’s not the governments fault that for twenty years the US auto industry has sat on its ass pumping out the same shitty designs using the same shitty materials and charging an arm and a leg for them. Toyota and Honda BOTH make cars here in the US in union factories, so you can’t blame the unions.
Oh. Wait. You CAN blame the government! The Republicans have consistently sided with the auto industry intiatives to sell bigger more profitable cars by offering tax credits for buying, say, a Hummer.
A tax credit of $100,000, essentially making the Hummer cost nothing.
Agricultural — Here, I’m afraid, she has a point: the government farm subsidies have allowed corporate farmers to become bloated and complacent and to not utilize their resources efficiently. When it’s cheaper to import straberries from Chile than grow them in California, there’s a real problem.
Energy — Dick Cheney. Nuff said.
Healthcare — Isn’t this precisely the debate we’re having now? When under our current system it’s cheaper to fly me over to Mumbai for open heart surgery than for me to go down the street to arguably the best teaching hospital in the world (Columbia Presbyterian), then the current insurance system is wacked. Period.
Banking — Well, SOMEone had to take the fall for lending to GM, Conagra, JP Stevens, et al!
Education — Excuse me, there’s an industry????
If you’re blaming the school system, how about looking at the culture as a whole, where we don’t value education except when it fails us. We deny science in favor of a promise by some nebulous being who says we can live forever after we’re dead (which is iffy at best), we tell mathematicians they’re fuzzy, and poetry and writing is a dying art, as evidenced by the death of newspapers and magazines that don’t feature Paris Hilton or Carrie Prejean on their cover.
Who the fuck is this nimrod????
The rationale at the time was that the outrageous salaries people were awarding themselves and their buddies were not related to job performance at all, while stock options were totally performance-based because the worth of the stock depends on how the company’s actually doing
And there was a failure from inception in that logic as well. This scheme rewarded immediate and increasing quarterly profits as opposed to the long-term health of the company. The stock options should have come with at least a ten year lock-up, and perhaps should not have been vested until the recipient retired from the company, thus creating an incentive for loyalty and stopping the bungie-cord executive management style.
dissenting points of view are trolling, and all trolls are troofie, and as a last resort point out in serious, self-important, somber tones that this is after all a comedy blog
awwwww, I think we bwoke his lil’ heart.
No, “dissent” does not make you a troll. Coming on to a comments thread where you then proceed to work yourself into a fine froth about X Big Issue Of The Day and why we are not all talking about it in properly “somber tones”, well, that’s different.
And no, this is a comedy blog. Or at least a snark blog, which is kind of like comedy but darker. But as Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t snark I don’t want to be part of your revolution”. Or something like that.
omg rofl internet spelling! hey man did you catch adult swim last night? totally edgy.
Tut, tut, my good man! Might I offer you my great pink gluteal surfaces to bite?
No, “game shows touch our lives,” dissenting views aren’t trolling. Assholery of your type is trolling. We’re not politically aware enough for you? Then go elsewhere where you and the other people who see everything we miss can sit around and discuss the utopia you’ll build once you convince everyone else that you’re right.
Speaking only for myself, I believe the regular commenters come here for mostly for laughs. We occasionally have arguments among ourselves because we disagree. I apologize that we don’t spend ever day in sackcloth because of the state of political affairs; I apologize that our humor doesn’t meet your standards; I apologize that we repeat jokes; I apologize that you haven’t been treated with the respect – no, grovelling respect – that your astute observations have earned you.
You fucking tool. Why don’t you kill yourself and simultaneously make the world a better place and end your horrible disappointment with a bunch of people you don’t know and obviously have no interest in knowing?
Who left their humorless dildo lying around?
Pere –
While I was typing away you both beat me to the punch and said it better than me. DAMN YOU TO HELL.
When I’m looking for somber political discussions in an in-joke-free environment, I head to the House of Substance.
And no, this is a comedy blog. Or at least a snark blog, which is kind of like comedy
but darkervery rarely amusing.fixed it for you. or rather, as previously noted, the comments are rarely intentionally amusing. the front page often is.
But as Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t snark I don’t want to be part of your revolution”. Or something like that.
ooh. irreverent. HEY LOOK EVERYONE SOMEONE CALLING HIMSELF “PERE UBU” IS BEING IRREVERENT ON THE INTERNET!!!
I really don’t think Purity Troll is Troofie. Even Soft Centred Growl probably isn’t. The thing I’ve always noticed about Troofie’s sockpuppets is that they all sound exactly like the original. He’s much too dumb to even attempt a different voice. So when we do hear different voices, the chances are we’ve got different trolls.
You fucking tool. Why don’t you kill yourself and simultaneously make the world a better place and end your horrible disappointment with a bunch of people you don’t know and obviously have no interest in knowing?
the noise of your stamping feet. the sight of you shaking your tiny fist in the general direction of heaven. the flecks of spittle on your lips. your rubicund face as you yell and whine and mark your territory in tangy urine. all these belie your affectations of glib indifference.
as previously noted, the comments are rarely intentionally amusing
Hey, nobody’s forcing you to read the comments, Charley.
There’s the door – don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out.
I really don’t think Purity Troll is Troofie.
I concur. We met this jackass a couple of weeks ago, didn’t we? And we directed him to a totally unfunny blog, like AmericaBlog or Eschaton, right?
Who left their humorless dildo lying around?
so many humorless dildos lying around here one more would hardly make a difference. YA BURNT
or did you mean “humorless dodo”. because there are plenty of those, too. DOUBLE BURN.
the noise of your stamping feet. the sight of you shaking your tiny fist in the general direction of heaven. the flecks of spittle on your lips. your rubicund face as you yell and whine and mark your territory in tangy urine. all these belie your affectations of glib indifference.
You don’t know me and you’re a liar. Show me where I posted “glib indifference.” I come here to be amused and you are not only not amusing, you’re intentionally insulting to almost everyone here for no reason at all. It won’t convince us of anything, but of course you don’t care because we’re not worthy of your opinions, right?
If I needed any more evidence that you’re nothing more than a troll composed of used asswipe, it’s the fact that you’re nym-switching every post so that we can’t even use killfile on you. You won’t be ignored!
Congrats, little man, you win. I will ignore you, so you can run the table with your so-clever come-back.
And we directed him to a totally unfunny blog,
you mean http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com ?
oh man. you walked right into that one!
And we directed him to a totally unfunny blog, like AmericaBlog or Eschaton, right?
Personally I’d recommend he go hang out with the Spartacists or someone like that. I’m sure they’re not only serious enough and politically pure enough, but I’m equally sure their commenters are much more insightful and never make silly offensive pop culture references. And there’s a total lack of Photoshops involving toilets.
There’s the door – don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out.
ROFLMAO! PMSL!
Oh, Pere, that was the most intentionally funny thing I’ve read….ever!
Hey, sunshine?
I’m not trying to be funny there, so no offense taken and thanks for blogwhoring for me!
Have a nice day!
Oh, Pere, that was the most intentionally funny thing I’ve read….ever!
You’ve obviously never read Stan Lee’s letter section circa 1968.
Nuff said.
nt
There’s the door – don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out.
There really is a disconnect on the part of some of the trolls. This place (to me, anyway) is like a local bar. There are regulars, semi-regulars, and a bunch of people that drop in from time to time to add their two cents to the ongoing conversations. The proprietors keep folks (usually) well-fed on consumable material and everyone comes and goes as they please. Like a bar, however, when someone comes in and starts annoying the staff or hassling the regulars, they are shunned or asked to leave or simply told to shut up.
What’s so hard to understand about this? I mean, huh?
I’m equally sure their commenters are much more insightful and never make silly offensive pop culture references
My eyes glazed over just thinking about that possibility…
You’ve obviously never read Stan Lee’s letter section circa 1968.
Nuff said.
Hey now, I’m older than you!
Excelsior!
I’m not trying to be funny there, so no offense taken and thanks for blogwhoring for me!
anytime, homeskillet.
And Peak Freans are a very serious cookie.
Also.
There are regulars, semi-regulars, and a bunch of people who need more roughage.
Ah POOP! Where have you been for the last hour?
he’s a whore said,
November 11, 2009 at 16:35
Yea, but I gave your mom a discount.
And it’s “Dad” to you, son.
SERIOUS TOPIC OF THE DAY
Who flagged down the short bus and let this helmet-head off?
There are regulars, semi-regulars, and a bunch of people who need more roughage.
Veiled bondage reference. (or not?)
I can’t imagine why anyone would think a commenter whose only raison d’etre is to type cooler-than-thou ad hominem is a troll.
There are regulars, semi-regulars, and a bunch of people who need more roughage.
Veiled bondage reference. (or not?)
Bondage goes too far
Ropes composed of fibrous shit
The Gimp is messy
There really is a disconnect on the part of some of the trolls. This place (to me, anyway) is like a local bar. There are regulars, semi-regulars, and a bunch of people that drop in from time to time to add their two cents to the ongoing conversations. The proprietors keep folks (usually) well-fed on consumable material and everyone comes and goes as they please. Like a bar, however, when someone comes in and starts annoying the staff or hassling the regulars, they are shunned or asked to leave or simply told to shut up.
to me, it’s more like that old fable about the grasshopper and the giant isopod. and the isopod harvested kelp all summer to stock up for the winter, but the grasshopper spent all his time playing video games and watching rockford files reruns. then, when winter came, the isopod was fine because he lived in the ocean anyway so the winter didn’t matter, but the grasshopper got caught by a 5th grader in a gifted science class and then dissected. then someone quoted that hilarious thing grampa simpson said once, and a few other people said really edgy things about religion.
Yea, but I gave your mom a discount.
i always thought you were gay. just like dad.
N__B said,
November 11, 2009 at 16:41
Aw fuck, we’re not going all haiku-y are we? I thought that was ceremoniously dumped when Sam Seder stopped blogging…
#
N__B said,
November 11, 2009 at 13:13 (kill)
Anonymous was Mrs. __B’s computer.
I am puzzled as to why she would name her computer Anonymous.
I can’t imagine why anyone would think a commenter whose only raison d’etre is to type cooler-than-thou ad hominem is a troll.
fair enough. the real question is why people keep diving off the bridge despite the distinct odor of billy goats.
i always thought you were gay. just like dad.
Luke, I am your father.
Gee, way to stay on topic, topic troll! You’re a very unserious and shrill commenter. You tried intentionally to be funny and EPIC FAILED your way into the Troll Hall of Fame.
Which is really just a stall in the men’s room at Minneapolis International Airport, but I digress.
up yours!
Aw fuck, we’re not going all haiku-y are we? I thought that was ceremoniously dumped when Sam Seder stopped blogging…
I lack the limerick gene.
Anonymous was Mrs. __B’s computer.
I am puzzled as to why she would name her computer Anonymous.
You should hear what she calls the oven.
Which is really just a stall in the men’s room at Minneapolis International Airport, but I digress.
if you tap on the right stall in the aeroport in minneapolis bob mould appears.
to me, it’s more like that old fable about the grasshopper and the giant isopod….
It has it some writing skills. People skills, not so much.
Journey sucks.
if you tap on the right stall in the aeroport in minneapolis bob mould appears.
Your personal hygiene is not at issue here. We know you rot.
paul mantarakis is stealing my schtick! he’s so schticky! like a frat boy’s cumsock in the august sun!
More to the point, more than once yours truly has said some things that other regulars, semi-regulars, and drop-in guests disagreed with (foreskin holocaust? humorless dildos? I’m sure I’m forgetting a few), but because I could actually defend my opinion as being not-totally-unreasonable, some or most of the others here could recognize that I wasn’t just trolling, because they agreed that my stated reasons for advancing my POV, and/or the POV itself, were actually more logical or rational than the reasons advanced by those whom I had upset or disagreed with.
A lack of personal attacks helps in that regard. Also.
So whenever I see someone such as our challenged friend here claiming that we “just don’t get it” because we’re all in imaginary lockstop, or we’re not pure enough, or smart enough, or whatever, I detect an overpowering aroma of bullshit.
And it comes down to what it usually comes down to in the end: some people just need to get the fuck over themselves.
Some people enjoy troll-playing. But you knew that.
Brandi, where are you?
Your personal hygiene is not at issue here. We know you rot.
i dunno, man, i’ve seen you do better work. i have to assume your heart just isn’t in it, and that really hurts my feelings.
OT/ TPM has a great update on that marine what assaulted a greek priest with his rigid tool.
i have to assume your heart just isn’t in it, and that really hurts my feelings.
I can be cruel to be kind, in the right measure.
Some people enjoy troll-playing.
I can only assume this is cosplay with humorless dildos.
Well, I’M not smart enough, or good enough, and people don’t like me….
But hey, zombie!
Jennifer said,
November 11, 2009 at 16:58
Clearer (and yes, more to the point) than my version of the bar analogy. Good faith disagreements seem pretty rampant here. Alas, at times, bad faith ones do as well.
Some people enjoy troll-playing. But you knew that.
brandi has already made an appearance, shoehorning in an awkward reference to that fascist closetcase santayana.
that marine what assaulted a greek priest with his rigid tool.
For a second there, I thought the priest’s name was Paul Mantarakis.
I really don’t think Purity Troll is Troofie.
I dunno…. the obsession with actor is kind of a tell, isn’t it?
Clearer (and yes, more to the point) than my version of the bar analogy. Good faith disagreements seem pretty rampant here. Alas, at times, bad faith ones do as well.
I disagree.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a few), but because I could actually defend my opinion as being not-totally-unreasonable, some or most of the others here could recognize that I wasn’t just trolling, because they agreed that my stated reasons for advancing my POV, and/or the POV itself, were actually more logical or rational than the reasons advanced by those whom I had upset or disagreed with.
don’t kid yourself. it’s because you were already an established member of the tribe. the female name didn’t hurt, either.
Say, didn’t our white supremacist troll yesterday mock Gen. Casey for pointing out there might be a backlash against Muslims following the Hasan slaughter last week>
I dunno…. the obsession with actor is kind of a tell, isn’t it?
You have your mindless shambling hordes of followers, Actor has…his mindless shambling hordes of followers.
the obsession with actor is kind of a tell, isn’t it?
It’s the price of fame. I hear there’s an entire site dedicated to me at TownHall…
Actor has…his mindless shambling hordes of followers.
In fairness, my fan club gives away a kilo of pot with every renewal.
I disagree.
But you’re a Zombie.
On the positive side, it’s figured out a workaround on the killfile (I mean besides not being an asshole).
So there’s an indication that it is at least capable of learning.
In fairness, my fan club gives away a kilo of pot with every renewal.
Interest, newsletter, enticingly aromatic package….
Zombies can’t disagree, Looch?
I dunno…. the obsession with actor is kind of a tell, isn’t it?
not really. actor, xecky, and tigrisimus are usually the most entertaining posters. doctor missus etc is the most likable. sometimes you’re pretty funny, although the zombie stuff sometimes gets out of hand (several regulars have confided this to me, privately, though i have been sworn to secrecy as to which ones). some of the older posters were also good, though many of them have disappeared. so it goes.
you were already an established member of the tribe
Um, people skills.
actor, xecky, and tigrisimus are usually the most entertaining posters
You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!
So there’s an indication that it is at least capable of learning.
How’s that a good thing? If it keeps learning, eventually it’ll achieve self-awareness. And then, once you guys try to killfile it? Judgment Day.
On the positive side, it’s figured out a workaround on the killfile (I mean besides not being an asshole).
consider it a philosophical rejection of the notion of personal identity.
Interest, newsletter, enticingly aromatic package….
Send $40 to:
Third Pipe Along
Fourth Stall
Men’s Room
Grand Central Station Lower Level
10017
You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!
occasionally.
You LIKE me! You REALLY like me!
occasionally.
Gee, then crushing you is going to be like kicking the puppy with the sad eyes that followed me home.
I’d better wear steel shank shoes.
Zombies can’t disagree, Looch?
Well, that raises an interesting question. What do Zombies disagree with among themselves? Branes?/No Branes? Seems kind of binary to me. Just sayin’.
consider it a philosophical rejection of the notion of personal identity.
More like OCD sufferer exploiting a platform flaw, but YMMV.
What do Zombies disagree with among themselves?
We’re mostly in agreement. Oh, sure, we often debate lurching vs. shambling, and whether a diet of brains is better than one that includes flesh and other organs, but mostly, we find ourselves simply looking to assuage the existential ache of post-existence… by eating branes.
Oh, and there’s the occasional zombie asshole who supported Nader.
One thing for sure is, when I was in Italy, the industry there was power and inspired by democracy, and unpolluted by filthy diseased cocksucking Somalians. The seafood was awesome, also.
How come nobody’s talking about Creed on this thread?
What do Zombies disagree with among themselves? Branes?/No Branes?
How about cooked v raw, steamed v braised, blanched v deep fried…I mean, the possibilities are endless!
actor, xecky, and tigrisimus are usually the most entertaining posters
I knew I should have stuffed my codpiece.
(runs backstage, crying)
I knew I should have stuffed my codpiece.
yeah. you i’ve never cared for.
I knew I should have stuffed my codpiece.
You need a haddock.
I knew I should have stuffed my codpiece.
You need a haddock.
I think he has a haddock. He needs a calamel.
Oh, sure, we often debate lurching vs. shambling
PLEASE! Not another “lurching versus shambling” discussion, they can be worse than “Mac versus PC” derails. And besides, certain regulars have secretly complained about the “Zombie thing” getting “out of hand” and have secretly told other people — who are sworn to secrecy– just this. So we better stop this right now.
I like you, Pere Ubu. I’ve always wondered if you took the name from the band or the play.
How about cooked v raw, steamed v braised, blanched v deep fried…I mean, the possibilities are endless!
Some undead asswipes even serve ’em with brussels sprouts.
They probably like Creed and Styx too. I stay away from that type.
Many other regulars have told ME, in secret off line discussions where we drink mojitos with Diane Lane and Robyn Hitchcock, that the toilet photoshops are offensive.
Oh, and humorless dildos aren’t funny. Other regulars are ALWAYS telling me that. For realz.
I like you, Pere Ubu
I do too, Pere.
The pants command me to.
they can be worse than “Mac versus PC” derails.
And here I was considering making an insightful, witty and insulting comment about System 6. But I will hold off in light of your delicate sensibilities, Looch. I know what a painful subject that is for many. Hell, it CREATED many of the undead.
(several regulars have confided this to me, privately, though i have been sworn to secrecy as to which ones)
That in itself is a tell. You’re an Eschaton regular, aren’t you?
Some undead asswipes even serve ‘em with brussels sprouts.
If you blanched branes, couldn’t you disguise cauliflower in them and get some much-needed veggies? It might help with the shambling.
Admittedly, Zombie Things do have a tendency to get out of hand though. Hence, zombocalypse.
Not another “lurching versus shambling” discussion, they can be worse than “Mac versus PC” derails.
But there’s nothing to argue about! PCers lurch, Macites shamble.
And Pere – Sam’s dog told me you’re okay.
i am good, preternaturally good, at eschaton.
Hell, it CREATED many of the undead.
Mebbe so. It sure as hell wakes them up.
If you blanched branes, couldn’t you disguise cauliflower in them and get some much-needed veggies? It might help with the shambling.
I prefer a stir fry, myself. Broccoli is pretty good with medulla
It is totally Obama’s fault that in his first few months in office the intelligence agencies and the army didn’t detect the growing threat that Nidal Hasan represented, but it was totally Bill Clinton’s fault that George W. Bush Jr. was in office for 8 months and he and Dick Cheney shut down and/or avoided and dismissed every suggestion of terrorist threats until 9/11/2001 promoted Bush Jr. from a mere President to Commander Guy.
i am good, preternaturally good, at eschaton.
Isn’t that kind of like saying you’re good at kindergarten?
he hung himself.
Isn’t that kind of like saying you’re good at kindergarten?
I still EXCEL at napping.
I’ve always wondered if you took the name from the band or the play.
If it’s any clue, MEDRE!
…I keep getting people telling me how much they love Dave Thomas and I keep thinking they’re talking about the Wendy’s guy.
Why is the purity troll naming him/herself after a Mountain Goats song? I know John Darnielle’s a vegan and a Kucinich supporter, but he is definitely not a petty asshole who would troll blogs because he felt they had the wrong tone for his liking. So leave John out of this, mmmkay?
Heh. Dan Popp showed up in the last thread to respond to S,N! and it’s readership.
actually i like the tone of this blog. i even enjoy the commenters. i just may not enjoy them in the way they’d like to be enjoyed.
Thanks! It’s been a long while since I read the plays, I should do so again.
I see, you’re just fucking with us then, I take it.
i even enjoy the commenters. i just may not enjoy them in the way they’d like to be enjoyed.
So for some bizarre warped reason, you believe that the entire world is provided for your amusement and if it’s not amusing you or informing you or entertaining you properly, you must, MUST, speak out and annoy everyone else?
PROTIP: Ur doin it rong.
Ur doin it rong.
I bet he could use one of your subscriptions.
actually i like the tone of this blog
Sadly uses Auto-Tune.
So for some bizarre warped reason, you believe that the entire world is provided for your amusement
Yes.
So for some bizarre warped reason, you believe that the entire world is provided for your amusement
It ISN’T?
Crap. What am I going to do with all this popcorn?
Crap. What am I going to do with all this popcorn?
You and Smut should get together. You could make Varnish Popcorn Balls and sell them at the next Teabagger Gathering.
When my beer nuts turn to popcorn balls, I’m coming home to you.
the squiggly under the C is called a cedilla (rhymes with tortilla)
its odd deployment now and then makes a nice facade of linguistic competence
When my beer nuts turn to popcorn balls
A shot of penicillin will clear that right up.
No, not all trolls are Troofy. Take you, Goober.
Your obsession with this place is friggin bizarre, man.
A shot of peniçillin will clear that right up.
Sorry. For the façade of linguistic competençe
Trolling Sadly, No! is like trying to defend the cinematic quality of a movie by arguing with Tom Servo and Crowe T. Robot.
I should also add that Goober, who demands that this place be more funny, is an AoS acolyte. I’ll submit that without further comment.
The fact is, Killer Shrews is a great movie and is beloved in the Heartland.
For the façade of linguistic competençe
Only a façade? I’m Çhattered.
…and a born-again evangelical. Those types really know the funny.
Only a façade? I’m Çhattered.
Çadly, yes.
and a born-again evangelical. Those types really know the funny.
*snerk*
I am reminded of those lame-ass Christian “humor and common-sense wisdom” books by that lady, whassername. Anyone who’s seen ’em ‘ll know, Barbara something I think. Lord, I get sick headaches just from contemplating them.
You know the kind of thing, though, “gosh being a parent is JUST SO CRAZY!” and all that. Bleah.
actor, xecky, and tigrisimus are usually the most entertaining posters.
Um, thanks!
i even enjoy the
commentersborn again evangelicals. i just may not enjoy them in the way they’d like to be enjoyed.Fecksed.
Goober breaks bread with those types, but I wouldn’t say he himself subscribes to that level of laffs…his schtick is basically LOL it’s funny how dumb you are when you make fun of me. It’s that streak of flatulent-masturbatory self-loathing that I’m sure he loves in ol’ Ace.
Annnd…I’m IT.
Frankly, Xecky, I’m honored to be named alongside you, as faint as the praise may be given the source.
Tig…meh…not so much! 🙂
If anyone is curious what it takes to make Goober laugh, the YouTube vids he made supply some clues. Here’s a hint: Rambling strawmen, ubiquitous butthurt.
Trolling Sadly, No! is like trying to defend the cinematic quality of a movie by arguing with Tom Servo and Crowe T. Robot.
on good days. some days it’s more like appearing on riff trax. the episode where james lileks guest-hosted. major bummer.
What’s with the generic posts, anyway? I want me some Brad or Gavin or HTML.
And what about our daily DASH, dammit!
seriously, goober, scram. your schtick is tired.
I’m miffed that I’m not considered likable. I am too totally likable, my mom tells me so ALL THE TIME.
All the other kids are just jealous of you, Tiggy
Well, nobody mentioned me – either as likeable or non-likeable.
Hmmph.
What’s with the generic posts, anyway? I want me some Brad or Gavin or HTML.
Generic nothing, that’s BRAND NAME posting; i.e. Seb, the Blogfather.
Aw, Mom, you’re the greatest.
I hope the guys are all ok, and this blog hasn’t been hijacked by some great Colussus: The Forbin Project supercomputer bent on destroying Blogtopia (© Skippy the Bush Kangaroo)
Cuz I emailed an article by Amy Alkon to TinTin and I wanted it posted, dammit!
the episode where james lileks guest-hosted.
I do have to confess – when he’s not flogging the wingnut banner, Lileks can be funny.
I do own “The Gallery Of Regrettable Food”, and I got “Interior Desecrations” from the library, but he started to get too conservative in the latter. I saw his newest one at a library sale a couple weeks back – figured it’ d be best to give it a miss.
flatulent-masturbatory self-loathing
There’s an app for that.
Well, nobody mentioned me – either as likeable or non-likeable.
I admit I bring nothing to the table.
I’m ok with that
g said,
November 11, 2009 at 19:04
Well, nobody mentioned me – either as likeable or non-likeable.
That’s just not true! Why you’re right smack in the middle of that list! Look closely at Tig’s name!
Agreed, Pere. Lileks never got over pooping himself crazy on 9/11 though.
flatulent-masturbatory self-loathing
There’s an app for that.
*nods knowingly*
The iWank.
Hipster troll is cooler than you are.
Me?
I’m cooler than Keyboard Cat rickrolling the Star Wars Kid – & I’ve got the total absence of a social life to prove it!
I’m cooler than Keyboard Cat rickrolling the Star Wars Kid – & I’ve got the total absence of a social life to prove it!
*GASP*
You’re the Numma Numma Dancer!
I am reminded of those lame-ass Christian “humor and common-sense wisdom” books by that lady, whassername. Anyone who’s seen ‘em ‘ll know, Barbara something I think.
That could only be Barbara Johson. That woman has had the most hilarious problems. For example, one time her panty hose tore and she dragged a piece for a whole block without even realizing! Ahhhh…. but isn’t God great?
given a bunch of weed and a time machine, lileks could be pretty funny.
given a mountain of coke and a time machine, pj o’rourke could be pretty funny.
flatulent-masturbatory self-loathing
There’s an app for that.
iFwap
flatulent-masturbatory self-loathing
There’s an app for that.
Not only that, but there’s a fansite and Heroes f-m s-l themed slashfic to be found as well.
And before you say it Mr. Purity, yes it’s all so five years ago.
Whatever happened to the guy who made those clown videos about Gavin on YouTube? That guy ruled.
The terror attack at Ford Hood has made it clear there can be no middle ground between Islam and the West. One must prevail, or the other. We need to get serious about the Muslim threat.
Of course libs probably popped little stiffies when they heard about the shooting, hoping it would be a member of the TEA party movement, but went flaccid as soon as the said terrorist was Muslim. Then they started making excuses for his terrorist act. Just goes to show who are the violent ones.
Here’s an idea: how about we start treating Muslims in the west exactly who, say, Saudi Arabia and Iran treat non-Muslims? Fair is fair!
FORT Hood, before you start making fun of a typo rather than talk about the point of my post.
Yes! Let’s imitate the tactics of theocratic dictatorships, for….FREEDOM!
We can start by only allowing non-Muslims to live or even visit New York and Washington, just like Saudi Arabia bans non-Muslims from Mecca and Medina.
It’s Ford hood, not Ford Hood.
Great idea, WWS–let’s do declare war on Islam. I mean, that’s only about a third of the Earth’s population, and the ruling majority of most of the oil-exporting nations in the world. What could possibly go wrong with a brilliant plan like yours?
Next troll, please.
Will the West Submit?
The deadline is this Friday! We will not accept any late submissions.
Steerpike, Israel is at war with essentailly the whole Muslim world and seems to do just fine.
After all, they’ve already declared war on us. And the whole of the West is about a third of the Earth’s population, too, and contains nearly all developed countries.
Here’s an idea: how about we start treating Muslims in the west exactly who, say, Saudi Arabia and Iran treat non-Muslims?
But what you really want to do is submit, to be probed in every orifice by the throbbing, uncirmcumsized members of faceless, swarthy manbeasts.
Here’s a deal conservatives could make with at least patriotic libs–we allow gays to serve openly in the military if you agree to ban Muslims from serving in the military.
Great idea, WWS–let’s do declare war on Islam.
I’m still wondering why he thought a teabagger would be on a military base.
Is our hypothetical teabagger lost?
No, I’m agreeing with you, WWS! Let’s declare war on all Muslims right now, and finish the job we’ve already started of garrisoning all of their countries. I think it’s a great idea! I’m assuming you have already enlisted, naturally–when do you report for duty?
I’m not talking about an active, shooting war, I’m talking about treating Muslims in the west as complete second class citizens, the same way non-Muslims are treated as second-class citizens in Muslim lands. Ban them from proselytizing Islam under pain of death, ban construction of new mosques, put current mosques under government survelliance, ban Islamic schools, etc. Make life very painful for them until they leave Europe and America, or give up practicing Islam.
I’m assuming you have already enlisted, naturally–when do you report for duty?
He’s already made it clear that he has to wait for the appeal of DADT.
Yep, that’d be Goober. One of the finest examples of Address my point, libs! you’ll ever see.
I like how it takes Troofy a few hours to change from one sockpuppet to another. It’s like he keeps putting on his costume backwards or something.
Jeez, what is it, the weather?
We got Dan Poop over on the other thread who’s being Mr. Borey McBoringpants, and some douchenozzle over here who’s being all boring Islamophobic.
Better, or at least more riff-able trolls, bitte!
BTW, speaking of Teh Stupide, did Gun Counter Gomer ever pop off the inevitable “if only people were armed!” w/r/t Fort Hood?
Glenn Reynolds did.
if hassan is executed he will be the first soldier to be executed since 1961. god what a spectacle that will be!
hoping it would be a member of the TEA party movement
Yeah, us crazy people, thinking that folks who carry assault rifles to political protests and talk openly about “watering the Tree Of Liberty” just might possibly produce a fucking loony who’d open fire on innocent people.
Just like those nice Christians in the anti-abortion campaign and how they’ve been all peaceful and shit all this time.
Step 1 – Collect underpants
Step 2 – ???
Step 3 – Profit!
(I think Step #2 may have something to do with the Japanese, and profit can be maximized in Step #3 if surfboards are somehow involved)
it’s ironic that the conservatives, who pray at the altar of mammon, don’t realize that the notion of nation is passe’, times being what they are (brutal). capital has flown the coop and its new high priests know no national boundaries. it is no accident that goldman sachs execs have taken to giving their sermons in churches lately (see taibbi for discussion). just a matter of time before they stand in scarlet robes and thunder at masses in a church in eastern europe where the altar is made of bones (it’s real) and the hymnals are made of human flesh that we are all, after all, nothing more than creditors and debtors in the hands of an angry godlessness.
Step 1 – Collect underpants
Step 2 – ???
Step 3 – Profit!
HILARIOUS! dude that construction is timeless. it never gets old. keep using it forever.
I notice no lib here has a good answer to my question about how come we shouldn’t treat Muslims in the West like non-Muslims are treated in Muslim lands? Hmmmm?
The only thing better than stale catchphrases? People who love to point out all those stale catchphrases and endlessly bitch about the losers who aren’t on the avant-garde of comedy. I LOVE IT. CAN’T GET ENOUGH.
I’m not talking about an active, shooting war, I’m talking about treating Muslims in the west as complete second class citizens, the same way non-Muslims are treated as second-class citizens in Muslim lands. Ban them from proselytizing Islam under pain of death, ban construction of new mosques, put current mosques under government survelliance, ban Islamic schools, etc. Make life very painful for them until they leave Europe and America, or give up practicing Islam.
hey homeskillet, i totally agree that tolerance is overrated. fuck pluralism, i say. i also say we do the same thing with christians, jews, and anybody else who worships some bizarre moon god formed of impotent rage and vestigial that lingers in the nerves and neurons from too many years in too many deserts. down with monotheism. down with death cults and the mortification of the flesh.
The only thing better than stale catchphrases? People who love to point out all those stale catchphrases and endlessly bitch about the losers who aren’t on the avant-garde of comedy. I LOVE IT. CAN’T GET ENOUGH.
so you agree with me that he used a stale catch phrase. notch another one in the “win” column, bay-bee.
I’m not talking about an active, shooting war, I’m talking about treating Muslims in the west as complete second class citizens, the same way non-Muslims are treated as second-class citizens in Muslim lands. Ban them from proselytizing Islam under pain of death, ban construction of new mosques, put current mosques under government survelliance, ban Islamic schools, etc. Make life very painful for them until they leave Europe and America, or give up practicing Islam.
The US is a democratic republic, so such actions would require amending our Constitution. Knock yourself out.
And if the Muzzies wouldn’t like that, well, then they can change their laws about non-Muslims.
an active shooting war as opposed to passive shooting wars.
cha ching.
I notice no lib here has a good answer to my question about how come we shouldn’t treat Muslims in the West like non-Muslims are treated in Muslim lands? Hmmmm?
Because we wrote down our principles in big fancy documents using quill pens and calligraphy and damn it, it’s expensive finding a scribe these days who can edit on parchment so we’re stuck with the whole “equality under the law” and “all men are created equal” nonsense whether we like it or not.
if i see someone praying when i’m waiting to board a plane, like being really obnoxious about it (muslim, christian, jew) i do find myself worried they have a suicide-related agenda.
Tigrismus, the Constitution is NOT a suicide pact.
Having large Muslim minorities living in our country, breeding, is going to bring about a future catastrophe. Ask the Egyptian Christians how it worked out for them.
umm, West Bozo, the argument “He started it!” ceases to be effective after third grade.
Also, bigotry. But I guess we knew that, didn’t we?
I notice no lib here has a good answer to my question about how come we shouldn’t treat Muslims in the West like non-Muslims are treated in Muslim lands?
I’m sorry, I assumed you’d read it already.
You were perhaps waiting for the movie?
And if the Muzzies
muzzies? really dude?
Or why don’t you ask the Serbs what having a large Muslim minority leads to? Hmmm?
And if the Muzzies wouldn’t like that, well, then they can change their laws about non-Muslims.
Because nothing says “Clash of Civilizations” like letting the other guy dictate to you what your principles are.
trolls feed trolls.
and so it goes.
I’m talking about treating Muslims in the west as complete second class citizens,
In the name of Freedom!! Wolverines!
Having large [&GRANFALLOON] minorities living in our country, breeding, is going to bring about a future catastrophe
Same old song, new lyric. The classics never get old, do they?
The terror attack at Ford Hood has made it clear there can be no middle ground between Islam and the West. One must prevail, or the other. We need to get serious about the Muslim threat.
Let me say this about that…
ALLAHU AKBAR!
I’m not talking about an active, shooting war, I’m talking about treating Muslims in the west as complete second class citizens, the same way non-Muslims are treated as second-class citizens in Muslim lands. Ban them from proselytizing Islam under pain of death, ban construction of new mosques, put current mosques under government survelliance, ban Islamic schools, etc. Make life very painful for them until they leave Europe and America, or give up practicing Islam.
Is this some kind of reverse Godwin in the pike position with a double twist?
huntington totally ripped me off.
clash of the titans was better than anything either of us ever did anyway, though, all things considered.
Goober, shut up already,
BTW, why is he called “Goober”?
your mom ate a grue
d00d – “your mom” jokes? Really? Isn’t that a bit over the line?
We can start by only allowing non-Muslims to live or even visit New York and Washington, just like Saudi Arabia bans non-Muslims from Mecca and Medina.
Gee, that’s weird. I’ve been to both…
Or why don’t you ask the Serbs what having a large Muslim minority leads to?
Nothing, actually. At least not until foreign investors decided to start carving up Bosnian and Kosovar coal deposits and clear a pipeline route. Then it’s all “Mehmet the Conquer” this and “Ustashia clubbing competition” that and pretty soon Eastern Europe starts looking like it has for most of its history.
Hmmm……Hmmmm?
So how about it, libs? Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
i think your mom is a bit over the line.
the Constitution is NOT a suicide pact.,
Whew, I forgot that the founders included a “these rules don’t apply whenever you are actively soiling yourself in cowardly snivelling terror” clause.
What, is that like the zeroth Amendment or something?
So how about it, libs? Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
FINALLY!
Troofie wants to enlist!
Having large Muslim minorities living in our country, breeding, is going to bring about a future catastrophe.
Oh, lookie, racism AND xenophobia.
Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
So … all your puckering frisson would start being about the negroes, then?
i’m willing to bet that less of substance and meaning has been said, in more posts, in this thread than ever before. let’s all take a second to give ourselves a nice round of applause.
the Constitution is NOT a suicide pact
On this Veterans’ Day:
So of course WWS wouldn’t die for these principles. They aren’t his principles, after all.
wws has his principles. if you don’t like them, he has others.
Tigrismus, the Constitution is NOT a suicide pact.
It contains a method to alter itself. Like I said, knock yourself out.
So of course WWS wouldn’t die for these principles. They aren’t his principles, after all.
He has principles?
Oh right. All niggers/spicks/towelheads/women/Chinks must die. Forgot.
So how about it, libs? Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
I really, really like how you assume the authority to make such a deal. You da man!
say what you will about muslims, there is something about a girl wearing kohl that is hot upon hot.
wws has his principles. if you don’t like them, he has others.
Hee.
Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
No deal. How about this compromise: Gays will serve openly, and people who call them “homos” will be banned for being homophobic because that is detrimental to unit cohesion.
And the conservative wailing and gnashing of teeth over this will be gentle music to our ears.
wws has his principles. if you don’t like them, he has others.
Gets them at the iFwap store.
Gays will serve openly, and people who call them “homos” …
… are the gays who are not serving so openly.
So how about it, libs? Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
sounds like a good start. but only if we can also draft pretty little methodist girls into the infantry and have them serve on the front lines in their pretty little sundresses with pretty little bows in their hair. deal?
Will the West Submit? said,
November 11, 2009 at 20:46
“Homos can serve ….”
Come out! Come out, where ever you are!
the iFwap store.
aka American Apparel
The terror attack at Ford Hood has made it clear there can be no middle ground between Islam and the West. One must prevail, or the other. We need to get serious about the Muslim threat.
That’s what keeps me coming back here. The overblown, bombastic “This is Sparta!!!!!” rhetoric from some of our resident trolls.
but only if we can also draft pretty little methodist girls into the infantry and have them serve on the front lines in their pretty little sundresses with pretty little bows in their hair. deal?
Your pretty little methodist girls wear army boots. Just like your mom.
aka American Apparel
Barely-legal girls with low self esteem and skimpy clothing. They hate themselves just enough to mate with you!
Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!
Your pretty little methodist girls wear army boots. Just like your mom.
Interest, newsletter, website, etc…
The overblown, bombastic “This is Sparta!!!!!” rhetoric from some of our resident trolls.
Which is exactly how I figured out that Fwappy McStinkfinger was a bitter, aging bottom.
Barely-legal girls with low self esteem and skimpy clothing. They hate themselves just enough to mate with you!
Damn! Born three decades too early…
Homos can serve openly in the military..
And this would entice you enlist (and come out), I assume. Be honest, dear.
Goober: shut the fuck up.
Goober: shut the fuck up.
See what I mean?
The boys just don’t come around much anymore, do they?
Will the West Submit?
Personally, I’d prefer if we had to beat it into submission and then collar it and degrade it by making it blow all the other hemispheres at the bar.
I love the way troofie/goober/who cares? elevates Hasan to be the sole representative of all Muslims everywhere.
Because Hasan went crazy and killed a bunch of people, all billion plus Muslims will inevitably do the same thing and therefore must be collectively punished by the world’s policemans, Teh United Stateses of America!!one! Long may it wave!
Logic FAIL, again.
So the trolls are now yelling at each other? Huh.
I love the way troofie/goober/who cares? elevates Hasan to be the sole representative of all Muslims everywhere.
Nevermind that hundreds of millions of Muslims have never even heard of the United States or that a billion Muslims would wish us well.
No no! In their world, all Muslims must die because of one deranged killer.
So what to make of Timothy McVeigh or Eric Rudolph…
i’m willing to bet that less of substance and meaning has been said, in more posts, in this thread than ever before.
Haven’t been around here for long, have you dear?
Islam is incompatable with the western way of life, full stop.
Look at what is happening in Europe.
Oh, here we go, DADT repeal to be part of the next Defense appropriations bill:
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2009/11/11/DADT_Likely_To_Be_Part_of_Defense_Bill/
I didn’t see any quotes in there about Barney Frank agreeing to a “no muslims” compromise in order to get this through! Oh well, maybe next Constitution, right bigots?
Homos can serve openly in the military if we ban Muslims from the military in exchange?
May I presume to answer for most everybody here?
No. How about if everybody of any stripe or persuasion who has served in our military in any capacity kick your ass?
This would include GWB (but he would have to lose interest before actually delivering a blow), but not Dick Cheney.
Is Mr. Fightypants still here?
Cripes, I’d figure’d he’d gotten bored and gone off to wank with his buddies at Gates of Vagina Vienna.
Christianity was incompatible with the western way of life as we all now know it.
Look what happened in Europe.
Gates of
VaginaVienna, that is.Fuck, it’s been a while.
Look at what is happening in Europe.
Indeed.
http://www.gayeuropa.com/
Troll fight!
Islam is incompatable with the western way of life, full stop.
I don’t know what your problem is with the Muslim fundamentalists. They hate gays, want to subjugate women, love brutal punishments and they worship the same sky fairy as you. They should blend right in with the 30% of Americans who are already incompatible with the western way of life.
Islam is incompatable with the western way of life, full stop.
Look at what is happening in Europe.
You mean the single largest economy on the planet?
No. Tell me, what is happening?
I don’t know why you libs love Muslim fundamentalists so much. They hate gays, treat women as property, and worship a God. so why do you defend them? hmmm?
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened, Actor.
Google “America Alone”.
so why do you defend them?
OK, now he’s arguing with imaginary people.
Doods! We broked the trool!
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened, Actor.
Non-sequitor, Troofie. Mark Steyn is to enlightenment as Torquemada is to compassion.
Every Muslim on the fucking planet = “Muslim fundamentalists”
Tolerance for other belief systems = “love so much”.
Pointing out the idiocy of your racist arguments = “defending them”.
Right.
the Constitution is NOT a suicide pact.
First of all: SEZ WHO? The thing was written on a blank sheet of paper. If they wanted to include an Article that said, “Thif is not a suicide pact”, they bloody well could have. They didn’t. Instead, they included an Article to the effect of “Thif is the supreme law of the land, and if you don’t like it, MOVE”. The Constitution is the United States of America. Why do you hate America?
Second of all: suicide pact? Can you do basic arithmetic? Let us assume you can. Go and read sometime about Bomber Command’s joint strategic bombing campaign against Germany during 1942-1945. You will find that they did to Germany the rough equivalent of one 9/11 every two weeks for four years. To this day, historians are divided about whether or not this offensive had any effect on the war, with the most positive analyses suggesting that it probably made it marginally easier for the Red Army to flatten Berlin, and maybe shortened the war by a few months or so.
The massed “muzzie” hordes that cause you to wet your pants so frequently have managed one 9/11 scale catastrophe in nine years (well, actually, in ever). Why do you think (bigger, richer) America is weaker than Nazi Germany? Perhaps you think Americans, unlike Germans, are cowards who are unwilling to put up a fight? Perhaps you are a coward who is unwilling to put up a fight?
Again, why do you hate America?
nah, we hate ALL fundamentalists. we just hate Christian fundamentalists more.
because they’ve done more damage to our country, you know.
we do, however, defend all of their rights to be crazy sky-fairy bottoms as much as they want in this country, as long as they do it quietly and don’t scare the horses.
To be specific, nobody has yet demonstrated that Hasan is a fundamentalist of any stripe. Of course, Fox has said that he is, but that’s kinda the same as Troofy making an election prediction.
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened, Actor.
Yes, why don’t we ever read Mark Steyn around here? Hmmmm?
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened
Being a stupid, self-loathing, closeted moron is no way to go through life, son.
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened
Enlightened about what exactly? Other than, of course, that Steyn is a complete barking idiot.
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened
*snerk*
In a last-ditch attempt to escape the thorough spanking he was receiving, the troll throws a lifesize Mark Steyn doll at his foes and bravely runs away.
Read some Mark Steyn and get enlightened
*snerk*
I had the same reaction. I wondered if this was more or less sillier than listening to Elmo lecture on interplanetary gas.
There are many fine Canadians like Robbie Robertson, Leonard Cohen, and Neil Young, who have produced fresh, enlightening commentary about the U.S. in song form. Then there are the Mark Steyns and Adam Yoshidas, who are an embarrassment to both countries and should really shut the hell up.
I agree with the previous common sense poster. Muslims should not be allowed to serve in the military, the same way that homos are not allowed to serve.
The only so-called “acts of valor” that Muslim soldiers have committed is opening fire on their own comrades. This is just one of many incidents involving Muslim soldiers committing acts of treason. Remember a few years ago the Muslim soldier in Iraq who threw a grenade into the tent of his fellow soldiers?
If they adhere to a religion that calls for the murder or forced conversion of “unbelievers” then they shouldn’t be allowed in our country never mind our armed forces!
And just in case you accuse me of being a spineless “chickenhawk” I’m a pfc in the Army National Guard. My company will be deploying to Afghanistan in a year.
What do those two clauses have to do with each other?
The only so-called “acts of valor” that Muslim soldiers have committed is opening fire on their own comrades.
So the people who killed Pat Tillman are Muslims?
And you say this on Veterans Day….shame on you, soldier.
If they adhere to a religion that calls for the murder or forced conversion of “unbelievers” then they shouldn’t be allowed in our country never mind our armed forces!
Says the guy who would like to see a policy of murdering or forced conversion of those who believe differently than he does.
How come the trolls never bring up people like Daniel Larison? Do they have some innate aversion to conservatives who actually know how to craft arguments? Not wingnutty enough for them?
I was going to say something about Troofie’s consistency issues (one Muslim shoots people, all Muslims are bad; one Christian shoots/blows people up, eh, he was just a lone radical), but then I read the Mark Steyn comment and was rendered completely unable to function for a good minute because I was laughing so hard.
He can’t be serious and, yet, I think he is.
If they adhere to a religion that calls for the murder or forced conversion of “unbelievers” then they shouldn’t be allowed in our country never mind our armed forces!
“Murder of unbelievers”, huh?
Try reading (I believe) 2 Kings sometime.
Wheee! A military of nothing but pagans, Wiccans and atheists.
“homos are not allowed to serve.”
Who wants to break the bad news to him?
Paul Malaka said,
November 11, 2009 at 22:02
I’m a pfc in the Army National Guard. My company will be deploying to Afghanistan in a year.
Be sure and share your pork MRE’s with the locals. They love it when you do that.
The only so-called “acts of valor” that Muslim soldiers have committed is opening fire on their own comrades.
Heaven knows, I am no expert on decent behaviour. But I suspect that if I were trying the Parody Troll shtik and found myself typing something as contemptible and easily refuted as that, I would change to some other hobby that involved less self-loathing afterwards.
I would change to some other hobby that involved less self-loathing afterwards
He panicked. It’s Veteran’s Day.
In theory, homos are allowed to serve if they are not open about their sexual orientation. In practice very few actually serve at all. Everyone knows those drama queens would have a hard time hiding their ways. They wouldn’t last two seconds in the barracks. Speaking as a soldier, I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks, and none of the other soldiers I know would either.
Besides, who would want to be in a fox hole next to a queer? Could you expect them to back you up in a firefight? More likely they would duck and scream like the queens they are.
The English language version of the 11th Article of the Treaty of Tripoli (“Treaty of Peace and Friendship between the United States of America and the Bey and Subjects of Tripoli of Barbary”), ending the fist Barbary war, as unanimously approved by the U.S. Senate:
Buncha long haired America-hating fags.
“Wheee! A military of nothing but pagans, Wiccans and atheists.”
Crap. I’m going to get drafted.
What are you, 12?
Tough talk from somebody who has yet to see combat.
Everyone knows those drama queens would have a hard time hiding their ways. They wouldn’t last two seconds in the barracks. Speaking as a soldier, I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks, and none of the other soldiers I know would either.
Is there anything more flaming than homophobia?
Buncha long haired America-hating fags.
They wore silk stockings too! And lace!
Besides, a lot of soldiers realize that you can fuck your fellow male comrades and not be one of them faggots. Especially if you’re giving and not receiving.
Speaking as a soldier, I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks, and none of the other soldiers I know would either.
Besides, who would want to be in a fox hole next to a queer? Could you expect them to back you up in a firefight? More likely they would duck and scream like the queens they are.
Speaking as a combat veteran, you’ve got some learning to do. But here’s hoping your deployment goes well.
That last comment was meant for the pitiful closet case who fantasizes about being in the Army having hot sex with a “screaming queen” in a foxhole.
Do you want to know just HOW sad our little Troober is?
As I’ve said before, I’m pretty certain it’s the same obsessional who used to do this at Eschaton as far back (at least) as 2002 as well… he’d start out claiming to be a Naderite, with an obsession about being “namejacked”, and then as the hours of trolling went by, get angrier and angrier that people weren’t falling for it; and so he’d escalate into swapping to multiple nymns himself from multiple proxied browser windows, trying to just swamp the conversation with them… of course, he’d get confused and post the wrong personality in the wrong window, often giving the game away completely, and so, when he really started to lose control, he’d set up a fake blog to try and take incoming I.P. addresses from it… from which he’d try and trace real life details and call up to vent his fury, also under a false name; “This is Atrios, stop posting at Eschaton, fuck you!” was the call I most remember him making… “fuck you!” was always the final line though, whether people got it at work, or what ever number he’d managed to connect with a stable IP…
The fake blog here by the way, with just one entry made (and made today), under what he thinks is a witty and subtle name that he thinks you’ll assume is a satire of himself, comes from “Romance” and “Angels” above… Monsieur Psychosis eh? Bound to be a satire of Troobus! But wait, there’s no actual satire of Troobus on the blog. And of course, his posting exactly as he started out as “battered progressive”, mocking posters here and their ironic use of memes, under that Angel name 2 minutes later rather gives the game away that it’s him fishing for hits again too.
Yup, we knew him as, amongst other things, America’s Memory then. Whether Truth is the same as Goober, as other’s have stated, who cares? They are both as fucked up and impotent as each other. But I’d bet that the person who made the Sadly No videos is absolutely this current troll, and the one who I gather nearly 8 years down the line, is still doing it at Eschaton too… he had the exact same obsession with trying to satirize the hated liberals in ways that just seem too infantile for words; half a decade later, I still laugh my fucking ass off at the fake Hesiod blog he set up, that spoofed the address and the format, but just consisted of what was literally a ham fisted child’s attempt to draw a human being, in crayons no less. But perhaps, because it had a distended nose, it was supposed to represent lying? Or god knows what was going through that diseased mind at the time? But the first thought any sane person had on seeing it was; “We’re dealing with a seriously fucked up individual here!” And they still thought that after the “this is Hesiod! Stop posting! Fuck you!” calls too…
My my my, what a small world, and what a small sad, SAD little man you are, creepy internet liberal stalker! Not that I’d admit you to ever admit it’s you… you’ve wasted too much of your life for there to be a “you” that you are even aware of any more I expect. But if you just follow the same recipe for hate again, maybe this time it’ll work, and you’ll prove your worth by humbling your liberal demons, eh??
He he he. Fucknozzle!
Speaking as a soldier, I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks, and none of the other soldiers I know would either.
They’d interfere with the group showers.
Well, it is a reasonable defense mechanism. Usually, the people who are quickest to point fingers do it for the fear, that if they won’t someone will point the finger at them.
It is the group instinct. The easiest way to avoid being prayed upon by group is to make the group prey upon someone else first, and join it.
I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks
Oh, you’re a top. Got it.
Frankly, Xecky, I’m honored to be named alongside you, as faint as the praise may be given the source.
Likewise.
But I say tig = teh awesum!
I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks
Oh, you’re a top. Got it.
NOW DROP AND GIMME 69!
But I say tig = teh awesum!
MEGAdildoes!
I mean, Dittoes!
Oh yes, and all you veterans here, have a good day.
I mean, I hope you do every day, but this one is yours, after all.
“But here’s hoping your deployment goes well.”
Thank you. I appreciate that. I’m in the mountain infantry. It’s gonna be tough, Afghanistan is no cake walk.
Since almost the entire nation of Afghanistan is mountains, I reckon we’re needed there pretty badly.
I’m in the mounting infantry.
FIXED!
Speaking as a soldier, I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks, and none of the other soldiers I know would either – unless it was John Wayne
Speaking as a soldier, I wouldn’t tolerate a homo in my barracks, and none of the other soldiers I know would either.
Apparently most soldiers don’t have a problem with it: “A 2006 Zogby International poll of military members found that 26% were in favor of gays and lesbians serving in the military, 37% opposed gays and lesbians serving, and 37% expressed no preference or were unsure. 72% of respondents who had experience with gays or lesbians in their unit said that the presence of gay or lesbian unit members had either no impact or a positive impact on their personal morale, while 67% said as much for overall unit morale. Of those respondents uncertain whether they had served with gay or lesbian personnel, 51% thought that such unit members would have a neutral or positive effect on personal morale, while 48% thought that they would have a negative effect on unit morale. 73% of respondents said that they felt comfortable in the presence of gay and lesbian personnel.” (wikipedia, which links the poll)
You and your little bigot coterie are a minority, and a shrinking one at that.
Aw, garsh! *toe invisible piece of dust*
You and your little bigot coterie are a minority, and a shrinking one at that.
Don’t say shrinking!! You’ll trigger him!
Don’t say shrinking!! You’ll trigger him!
YOU! Get out of my head!
No, really…it hurts!
Don’t say shrinking!! You’ll trigger him!
How about if I say… MONKEY PUZZLE.
Don’t say shrinking!! You’ll trigger him!
How about if I say… MONKEY PUZZLE.
Whatever you do, DON’T SAY MATTRESS!
Besides, who would want to be in a fox hole next to a queer? Could you expect them to back you up in a firefight? More likely they would duck and scream like the queens they are.
You, Sir should be ashamed of yourself.
It is Veteran’s Day. Have some respect for those who have actually seen combat. A planned deployment is nothing- nothing at all- compared to those who have actually fought, been wounded and died in combat. That you would use your status as a reservist as a beatstick in an online comedy blog, and then proceed to denigrate the service of those who fought and died for this country on the day that we should honor them shows what a pathetic and shallow commitment you have to the ideals and values of this country.
You should not be allowed to serve.
And what about our daily DASH, dammit!
Young Dash deserves better than to have his photograph appear in the same thread as the troll-player’s current incarnation.
I don’t buy it. Why would someone join the National Guard if they wanted to “serve their country”? Why wouldn’t they join the real Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or Coast Guard?
Hear hear, Tommmcatt
I’m sure WWS would be proud of Jasen Bruce – Able to beat up Greek Orthodox priests and still have time to post those beefcake pics
Is there anything more flaming than homophobia?
A homophobe set afire?
I don’t buy it. Why would someone join the National Guard if they wanted to “serve their country”?
In an effort to minimize the cost of the war, which was presumed to be only a few months, “President” Bush called up the Guard for the war, not the regular military.
Which eventually he had to deploy anyway…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6585217.stm
I’m sure WWS would be proud of Jasen Bruce – Able to beat up Greek Orthodox priests and still have time to post those beefcake pics
I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like!
Hey, Jasen — wanna try something Greek and UNorthodox? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrowl!
Besides, who would want to be in a fox hole next to a queer? Could you expect them to back you up in a firefight? More likely they would duck and scream like the queens they are.
Life isn’t a movie, son. It’s time you learned that.
Jasen is also apparently your local steroid connection
You know who else wouldn’t tolerate homos in the ranks?
THE GOD-DAMN SPARTANS, THAT’S WHO!
THHIIIIIIIIIISSSSS ISSSSSS SPARTAAAAAA!!111AQ121211“`
WOOT WOOT WOLVERINES
…um, wait, what?
…They WERE?
The whole Sacred Band was?
HUH.
never mind.
There’s no need to debate the bigoted Private First Class. He’ll learn next year when Congress repeals DADT and the world doesn’t end for US forces, just like it didn’t end for Canadian or British troops when they let their gay soliders come out of the closet and serve openly.
As he notes, he doesn’t know any gay soldiers, so it’s easy to make up a bunch of bullshit about how terrible it would be it they served. Then a good Army friend of his will come out, and he’ll either start hating the person or change his beliefs about gays. Most people choose the latter.
As he notes, he doesn’t know any gay soldiers
I’ll bet he does, they just know better than to tell HIM.
oops. Reading full comments, zombies don’t DO that.
I’m in the mountain infantry. It’s gonna be tough, Afghanistan is no cake walk.
The Taliban has a mountain infantry? Hey, just like we do!
More interesting than specious claims from troll about latest fictitious identity:
Recent work on the language role of teh FOXP2 gene.
Afghanistan is no cake walk.
I know the cakewalk. I have done the cakewalk. And I can assure you, the cakewalk is no cakewalk.
Seriously. Damned exhausting dance.
Looks like the peeps over at TP (heh) have taken posting lessons from TinTin…
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/11/graham-censure-climatechange/
Suggested reading for the Afghanistan bound
Y’all are giving Paulie too much credit. He’s as likely to be in the military as my dog is. And his homophobic comments are so laughably over the top that they must be parody.
Much as I dislike Graham – I do like this quote:
“Only in America can you make that much money crying,” said Graham, mocking Beck in early October.
He’s as likely to be in the military as my dog is.
Yeah, I thought the same thing, but decided to hold off because of Veteran’s Day, or even Armistice Day. benefit of the doubt, liberal, zombie, you know.
Of course, if he’s a troll, spoofing his service, than he’s a total egregious squeezebag who deserves to have dung beetles forcibly inserted into his nostrils and cnadiru fish introduced into his urethra. Of course, since trolls are, for the most part, subhuman, he is likely to be incapable of recognizing the inherent repulsiveness doing that spoofing on this day, of all….
Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks
I’ve got a better idea: why don’t we just jam our civil liberties down your throat while we’ve got you pinned to the ground helplessly, and you’ll just sit there and fucking DEAL?
Liberals have tried compromising rationally with conservatives for four decades and we’ve been told we’re shrill, unpatriotic, and unAmerican.
So I have a suggestion: drop the “patriotic” shit right now. You are NOT more American than I am.
After that, I have another suggestion: get used to liberals whose idea of compromise is this:
I admit, currently we’ve got too many spineless Dems in the Congress to implement this program wholesale, but the times they are a changin’ and you’re not the future. You’re the past. I suggest you get used to being ignored because the majority of Americans do not give a fuck what you think.
I’ve got a better idea: why don’t we just jam our civil liberties down your throat while we’ve got you pinned to the ground helplessly, and you’ll just sit there and fucking DEAL?
Teabagging!
As long as SOMETHING gets rammed down SOMEBODY’S throat. An election’s gotta have consequences
OT, but hey, since On-topic is just troll-bagging at this point, what the fack….
via Shakes, Rod Dreher has noticed that it is the end of the Patriarchy:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/crunchycon/2009/11/god-first-america-second.html
So, you know, drinks are on the ladies tonight!
Also, slippy is today’s Honorary Zombie.
Some view it as an honor.
From Dreher’s article, a piece by Pat Buchanan that he endorses:
Um, I seem to remember a first generation…you might remember? Founding Fathers? “All men are created equal”?
Just a thought.
Also, slippy is today’s Honorary Zombie.
Hey!
HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Actor the trolls already love you.
“HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!”
1) Who died and made the zombie the king? Oh wait…
2) Brane sushi? I’d pass, if I were you.
1) Who died and made the zombie the king?
Everybody else.
Hullo? Zombie????
He’s as likely to be in the military as my dog is.
If he is spoofing service, then he at least has done his homework.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/10th_Mountain_Division_(United_States)#Recent_deployments
Yeah, I was a skeptic too. Particularly since his Nym is a fictional soldier.
I’ll say one thing about zombies, they’re rigorous.
Since I am king today, i will penalize tigrismus 10 comments for unnecessary punning.
Also, for being popular with the trolls.
500 comments?
I smell a whiff of Zardoz, even for Sadly, No.
1) Who died and made the zombie the king?
In the country of the bland, the brain-dead man is king. Or something like that.
while commerce is floundering
If there is no new post soon then I will resort to fish puns.
“Is there anything more flaming than homophobia?”
Its funny how you can light up a fag on the streets of London anytime you want and nobody bats an eye, but just try it one time in San Francisco and everybody freaks the fuck out.
I am anonymous above.
i will penalize tigrismus 10 comments for unnecessary punning.
And I’ve only got 11 left so I’d better not waste… oh crap.
If there is no new post soon then I will resort to fish puns.
Thank Spag this blog uses Auto-Tuna.
“Its funny how you can light up a fag on the streets of London…”
Similarly, you can bring a faggot home and throw it into the fireplace anywhere in Europe and it’s OK but just try that in Seattle.
I don’t think the troll is getting deployed anywhere. I don’t think it’s serving, either. Sure, it may have done some homework, but I would think given the troll character, the announcement of service would have come much, much earlier in the dialogue, if not the first outburst. Trolls want to be respected, what else could be said that would bring such a response (esp. on Veterans’ Day)? The lateness of the declaration of service, when all else fails, says to me the troll is lying.
I don’t know why the wingnuts think its their right to wheel and deal and declaim whether muslims or homosexuals are in the army. They’re in, and within a year or two will be publicly accepted. Homosexuals also.
“If there is no new post soon then I will resort to fish puns.”
Well, you can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
I have more and I’m not afraid to use them. Consider yourselves warned.
If somebody uses that halibut pun, I will counter with one built around the word “whale”.
I’m totally not kidding, either.
Tommmcatt is up on his perch.
Don’t get me started. I have roe-d in the water at 3 Bulls. I will not brook disagreement; even if the Trout shows up.
You can see this thread starting to flounder.
In addition, nobody had better try to turn this into some kind of cage match. Because I will come at you with some of the worst puns you’ve ever seed, believe me.
I think we need to discus this further, Tommmcattfisssh.
Don’t get crabby though.
via Atrios
Loud Obbs to leave CNN.
Well, I can see there’s not a whale of a lot going on around here tonight…
*ducks barrage of thrown shoes*
I’m sorry, ZMR. I’m just a little off because I had to cancel my tickets to a performance by some Benedictine Monks to which I really wanted to attend. They were going to do their traditional performance, yet with a twist- as it was taking place in a dinner theatre, it was going to be based around common light summer main courses.
It was called “Salmon Chanting Evening”. It breaks my heart not to be able to go.
What, now puns are necessary? All the zombies I know are getting brain slugs for Yule.
Actually, terribly, she might know what façade means. See, Glenn Beck has been pushing Skousen on the wingnuts, and one of Skousen’s lasting conspiracy theories is that the nominally Republican captains of industry are actually secret commies. This is why Glenn Beck got all tweaked out about fascist/”progressive” imagery at Rockefeller Center.
It’s an important thing to keep in mind when dealing with teabaggers. In their mythology, corporations are left-wing. It’s sort of a distorted, corroded, and disgorged equivalent of the lefty notion of “corporate welfare.”
O well done. That would be a flaky, yet tender evening.
I presume you were using it to butter somebody up?
It sounds like a great e-ventral. I hope you didn’t pay more than a couple of fins for tickets. I hate spending several gills for a show and then not roe-ing.
the nominally Republican captains of industry are actually secret commies
Christ, Blecch finds the most interesting new ways to display his total batshit insanity.
Great, anybody want to take my bets on Loud Obbs going to Focks?
Well, it’s not a total fluke. The guy that gave me the tickets thinks he’s Cod’s gift to mankind, and I hate to be beholden to that kind of shark. You know the type, try to hook you with a little gift, then all of a sudden it’s lunch every day, discussing inanities like the office pool, that kind of thing. I learned this in school: give somebody like this an op-perch-tuna-ty to take an inch, and you’ll find out later that it was a mile they shad.
She got her master’s at Missouri State in Fairfax, Virginia? I’m a professor in Northern Virginia and I’ve never heard of that school. I sense a “we don’t fail anyone whose check clears” proprietary university..
Better than even money, I would say. Either that or they caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. Or in some poor illegal alien call-boy, as it were.
Dobbs 2010!!! Taking Kay Bailey Hutchinson’s seat!!! Run, Lou! Run!!!
It looks like it’s a satellite program of the Missouri State in Springfield, MO, and not really a school of its own.
urging me to go beyond the role here at CNN and to engage in constructive problem solving as well as to contribute positively to the great understanding of the issues of our day
Well, Lou, considering you’re 0 for 0 on both those counts at the moment, maybe a change of scenery is indeed called for.
Missouri State University in Fairfax, Virginia, is totally believable, though. After all, the University of New England is in…wait for it…Armidale, New South Wales.
Proposed headline: Dey Took’er Dobbs!!!
It’s not just me.
Apparently he lives in Jersey now. Neither senate seat, nor the Govenor’s office is up for grabs in 2010. It’s gotta be Kay Bailey Hutchinson – assuming she resigns to run for Govenor.
OR… Dobbs for Govenor of Texas! OMG! DO IT LOU!!!
Dobbs would be a “Club for Growth darling for any number of Scozzafava-able districts.
(God I sure hope “to Scozzafava” doesn’t catch on as a verb. Waaaaay to hard to type, let alone pronounce. Needs to be short and punchy, like “Borking” judicial appointments. No good way to shorten it without sounding smutty.)
…for any number of Scozzafava-able districts.
There is no way in hell that Dobbs’ ego will settle for anything less than US Senator. Loud Obbs, representative of Jersey’s nth rathole district? (and I mean rathole in the most complimentary way possible) Nuh-uh.
must I say it?
PALIN/DOBBS 2012!!
I will also say, for the benefit of any wingnuts hanging about, that nothing would piss off liberals more.
I could see him angling for the veep spot on any GOP ticket. Romney-Dobbs?
Steerpike, how is Romney funnier than Palin?
The only thing more amusing would be if he teamed up with Tommy Thompson.
Oh pleasepleasepleaseplease ….
The angry dumpy white guy vote would be SEWN UP.
As well as the Troofy/Goober vote.
Thompson/Dobbs in 2012.
I don’t think I deserve such joy in one lifetime. Almost nobody does.
“Salmon Chanting Evening”.
You’ve been holding that for the right moment. When did you first spawn it?
steve ballmer/don nelson for prez, avec secretary of state john daly. angry, dull witted, white dude vote sewn up for keeps.
First they came for the advanced chimeras, and I did not speak out because I was not an advanced chimera;
Then they came for the cannibal zombies, and I did not speak out because I was not a cannibal zombie;
Then they came for the living city ravens, and I did not speak out because I was not a living city raven;
Then they came for the rats, and I did not speak out because I was not a rat;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Really? The roaches were left and I’m sure they’d speak up.
man in the past 5 days my xbox tells me i have spent 67 hours playing dragon age origins and i don’t even like the game. in fact, i hate it. it’s fucking terrible. and yet i just keep playing. what gives? is this what they mean by samsara?
well, I would expect the engineers to speak up for the cannibal zombies.
Plus, if Janus Node was outlawed, I would expect nationwide productivity to jump by a percentage point or two, just from allowing Substance to concentrate on something productive.
Political office? Nahhh…
Dobbs is just talking about his ongoing battle with high-velocity flatulence.
Not to be confused with flatulent-masturbatory self-loathing.
Creed is awesome.
high-velocity flatulence
Add a wind turbine and you’ve got a whole lot of bean-powered electricity.
Tell me this, liberals: what has your Boy King done for you lately? Socialism isn’t a sure thing. Fags still can’t get married. You still can’t get abortions wholesale. Muslims haven’t taken over yet, and the left has not shut down FOX so the truth still gets out.
People from Somalia smell like ass.
In case you missed it, I am 10th Mountain Division at Ft. Drum and I am going to be deployed. They have mountains over there so it helps. How many of you liberals have served? None of you, I bet. Shut up. On today, of all days, shut up.
we didn’t go to war with Iran, I don’t know what a wholesale abortion is, but I think you can that somewhere. I don’t know where in the left’s secret plans for America was make Somalis smell better but I guess that’s a desirable goal.
It’s funny because you’re too incoherent to be a parody troll, I think…
The comments for this post will soon be longer than Dobb’s career.
Seriously, why have our hosts forsaken us? Have they succumbed to Pig Cooties or are they already camped out in front of WalMart so they’ll have first dibs on Failin’ Palin’s new book?
Tell me this, liberals: what has your Boy King done for you lately
OK, fist of all, the term Boy-King is your own obsequious authoritarian construct, and nobody here views Obama as anything of the sort. It is more applicable, if at all, to how the rightwing delivered adulation and mindless support to George W Bush, but here in Liberal Land, we don’t play that Great Father game.
But and However, just in this last week:
He has told the senate to step the hell up and pass a health care reform bill.
And he has also told them that the Stupid abortion restrictions are RIGHT OUT.
And he has rejected all the warmongering option presented to him by the Chiefs in regard to Afghanistan, telling them to go the fuck home and try again.
And he’s established the disillusion of DADT.
Not bad, by Zombie Metrics.
How many of you liberals have served?
If you’ve been paying attention, there are actually quit a few veterans hanging out here. Not to mention that the head of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America is clearly a progressive.
Not to mention men of conscience like good old mikey, who some may remember.
You discredit your own brothers and sisters in arms by your whines. Stop it. Live up to the standards of your service.
Seriously, why have our hosts forsaken us?
relax, they are not zombies, they have lives.
You still can’t get abortions wholesale.
I know, and this is an unconscionable violation of WTO rules, letting the wholesale abortions from China pile up on the docks like that, I thought we were past the era of protectionism!
already camped out in front of WalMart so they’ll have first dibs on Failin’ Palin’s new book
Hey, why bother?
In two weeks you can pick one up out of the dumpster in back.
Come on, liberals. Debate me with facts and logic. Oh, I forgot, you don’t have any! Never mind.
Our federal constitution guarantees parody trolls the same rights to incoherence that all citizens enjoy.
Our federal constitution guarantees parody trolls the same rights to incoherence that all citizens enjoy.
Fire Trucks!! Lump extreme satisfaction Tuesday octopus rice pilaf! Quince! Big lizard in my backyard, Mojo squandered Kamchatka accordion poopshovel.
The fact is, why must every right wing voice be silenced by the bias of leftist liberalism? Where is your tolerance for differing views?
Debate me with facts and logic
[Charles M. Bogart] This is the eternal cry of the Lumpy Internet Troll, frustrated by its inability to find a mate of any kind during its short lifespan. It flits from venue to venue, but is usually unable to find a mate, because of its abrasive personality and disgusting personal hygiene. It has no interest in facts or logic, but merely echos these terms that have been learned at more successful internet locations, thinking in a dim-witted fashion that the form is more important than the content.
eventually, it deceases in a drainage ditch, quivering in frustration and repressed sexual longing. Unfortunately, the breed is usually propagated by poorly-endowed individuals of otherwise viable species. [/Charles M. Bogart]
I tellya, it’s my finest free verse.
That’s a complete fucking regurgilation of your usual toasted shrimp socialist bag of burning dog assholes! Goddamn Muslim asparagus-flavored piss-in-a-popsicle. Who’s gonna clean up Obama’s legos when Palin’s tits pop out of the motherfucking cole slaw? Huh?!
Come on, liberals. Debate me with facts and logic. Oh, I forgot, you don’t have any! Never mind.
Various commenters have already tried the facts and logic route, and it seems you have made a point of ignoring everything they’ve said. So let me be the first to say, go piss up a rope, loser.
Fire Trucks!! Lump extreme satisfaction Tuesday octopus rice pilaf! Quince! Big lizard in my backyard, Mojo squandered Kamchatka accordion poopshovel.
My all-time favorite Syd Barrett lyric!
Gratuitous insult! Outrageous hyperbole, dire prediction, humorous (sic) quip. Regurgitated talking point; unfounded assumption; ludicrous prediction!
Rhetorical question?
Indignant demand for response!
Don’t you be bustin’ on quince.++
J Neo Marvin said,
November 12, 2009 at 6:31
I give you free use to put it in a song, friend.
JanusNode runs on zombie wetware.
My all-time favorite Syd Barrett lyric!
Actually, i feel honored by the ref, although I know you were goofin.
Big lizard in my backyard
For once I would like to read a thread that does not descend to the level of veiled buttsex references. A clean mind in a healthy body, people.
What for the cake be laid by Snorkum?
JanusNode runs on zombie wetware.
All the tech in the world doesn’t replace chemically-enhanced partially decomposed shambolic host vessels.
Actually, i feel honored by the ref, although I know you were goofin.
It’s not that far removed from this, truth be told.
Well, J Neo, i know he’s an englishman, but I though mine had more rhythm.
…descend to the level of veiled buttsex references.
Just take the escalator down from the mezzanine.
You still can’t get abortions wholesale.
And speaking as a member of the ghoul-American community, I can only say, how much longer must we pay retail>
Actually, I imagine your aphasia-licious entry being read out loud in a breathless voice by Allen Ginsburg. That’d be cool.
Well, apparently Lou Dobbs isn’t enough fresh meat for this thread…
(the jeering crowd, now silenced, waits in a restless mob for a new target; alcohol and weed do not dull the wit of the shambling untidy mass of underemployed posters; their pockets are full of barbs, ready for the next hapless troll to stumble near enough…)
“to stumble near enough…)”
DEAR GOD THAT SMILEY ONLY HAS 1 EYE. Why the hell is it smiling? Have you drugged it?
it coulda lost ’em both. then it would be sad: }[
Troll source:
REPEAT
{
Talkingpoint()
IF (IGNORED)
{
Address my post, libs !!!
}
else
{
Why must every right wing voice be silenced by the bias of leftist liberalism? Where is your tolerance for differing views?
}
}
Who would have quessed….
If Paul Mantarakis is worried about the ghastly consequences of “being in a fox hole next to a queer,” with all the “ducking and screaming,” then he may be interested to see that my Great Island Nation’s very own Royal Navy has experienced similar problems.
Of special interest will be the frank admission at 4:20 of what a threat gay sailors pose to naval discipline.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3icDB3kRKPg
Be warned, toy soldier Mantarakis. It is worrying stuff.
PALIN/DOBBS 2012!!
Screw that. Bob Dobbs/Lou Dobbs 2012. That would be a balanced ticket.
Remember when there were people who thought Kerry/McCain ’04 would be a good idea? Do you think there’s an alternate universe out there where it actually happened, and are the trolls any better in that one?
Modern day Zen koans.
In case you missed it, I am 10th Mountain Division at Ft. Drum and I am going to be deployed.
The 10th Mountain Division is an active duty unit. You said you were National Guard.
Well, apparently Lou Dobbs isn’t enough fresh meat for this thread…
Lou Dobbs isn’t enough fresh meat to make dinner for two.
The 10th Mountain Division is an active duty unit. You said you were National Guard.
Uh-oh. Trolly McClosetpants done fucked up and got caught.
And, impersonating a soldier on Veteran’s Day to score points. That’s nice.
Presumably he thought that since we’re all a bunch of hippie liberal peaceniks nobody would know the difference.
random prediction of the day:
Hannity’s entire ‘defense’ of the conflation of 11/5 rally video images with those of the 9/12 rally will be the “earlier” label. “There was no dis-honesty since the 9/12 rally was clearly earlier than the 11/5 rally.”
He may go for the “Triple Dicky” and accuse Stewart of being dumb for not knowing this.
Keeping your fake story straight: Priceless.
He couldn’t leave well enough alone, could he? Had to bring it up again, because he caught a whiff of respect from some of the posters and then over-reached to expose the lie.
More competent trolls, please (and new ones. This one has been at it for years and still executes first-year Troll faceplants. He is hopeless.)
…men of conscience like good old mikey, who some may remember.
Alas, poor Mikey. I remember him well. He’d shoot six trolls and you’d never even see his pistol leave its holster.
It was called “Salmon Chanting Evening”. It breaks my heart not to be able to go.
I was there. It was fine when they stuck to canticles and barbels, but when they sang that song from “Sound Of Music” about blessing Der Faderland…you know, “Alewife”?…I had to leave.
Steerpike, how is Romney funnier than Palin?
Two words: under pants.
…I had to leave.
So you just musseled through the audience to the door?
Socialism isn’t a sure thing. Fags still can’t get married. You still can’t get abortions wholesale. Muslims haven’t taken over yet, and the left has not shut down FOX so the truth still gets out.
Let’s flip this for a second:
Capitalism isn’t a sure thing. Fags still can’t be crucified. You still can get abortions wholesale. Muslims haven’t taken gone away, and the right has not shut down the Democratic party so the truth still gets out.
And that’s after THIRTY YEARS of conservatism.
Loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssssssssss…….
So you just musseled through the audience to the door?
What the hake! When a man’s gotta go, a man’s gotta go.
Debate me with facts and logic
Why? It’s much funnier mocking you.
When a man’s gotta go, a man’s gotta go.
I hope none of the other patrons felt eel will towards you.
New theory: Troofie IS Mark Steyn. It would explain a lot.
I hope none of the other patrons felt eel will towards you.
I squid you not, one fellow carped a little.
Um…good morning? I think we need to alert the police to swing by the Sadly, No! compound to see if the entire
cultcongregation has succumbed to a natural gas leak or something. None of the members of the reclusive community has been seen since posting a thread mocking a columnist at Renew America over 40 hours ago!“to stumble near enough…)”
DEAR GOD THAT SMILEY ONLY HAS 1 EYE. Why the hell is it smiling? Have you drugged it?
Sir, that smiley clearly has 3 eyes.
Why must every right wing voice be silenced by the bias of leftist liberalism?
Wait, are you still posting? Holy fuck, we missed one ALERT THE FEMA CAMP TRUANT OFFICERS.
I squid you not, one fellow carped a little.
Probably best just to skate out of there, then.
Probably best just to skate out of there, then.
I left him to flounder about.
I left him to flounder about.
Well, I hope he wasn’t a wrasse about it.
Well, I hope he wasn’t a wrasse about it.
I think he believed it was just a fluke.
Ye Gods, it smells like day-old fish puns in here. If that fresh.
I think he believed it was just a fluke.
That gives me a ray of hope.
That gives me a ray of hope
Seahorse, be horse, I always say.
Ye Gods, it smells like day-old fish puns in here. If that fresh.
It does have a certain tang, doesn’t it?
It does have a certain tang, doesn’t it?
Things are getting a bit corrado around here. We need a new thread.
Ye
GCods, it smells like day-old fish puns in here. If that fresh.Ye GCods, it smells like day-old fish puns in here. If that fresh.
The grouper with me in saying that was unnecessary.
It smelt fishy from my perch.
Not form down the pike, it doesn’t!
With my nym, I think I’ll give the fish puns a pass, thanks
Or should I say, a BASS!
Sorry, couldn’t resist. Sometimes I just slay me.
I think I’ll give the fish puns a
passbassFished!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Headlines the Catholic Church probably doesn’t want:
Irish priest kidnapped in Philippines released by MILF
Irish priest kidnapped in Philippines released by MILF
Sarah PalinElizabeth Kucinich is working in the Philippines?Stop it this instant!
I demand an end to lazy fish punning.
you people are going after low hanging fruit. anyone can make a pun on flounder or tuna.
Aim for the stars people! use some of these fish:
African glass catfish
African lungfish
aholehole
airbreathing catfish
airsac catfish
Alaska blackfish
Albacore
Alewife
Alfonsino
Algae eater
alligatorfish
Amago
American sole
Amur pike
Anchovy
Anemonefish
etc.
list cribbed from wikipedias: List of common fish names.
i don’t even know why you guys are so eager for another new post. we all know it won’t be a gavin post anyway. probably just another sad little “shorter” that you’ll all slobber all over and try to hump harder than a herd of ten peckered billy goats.
TEN PECKERED BILLY GOATS NEED LOVE, TOO.
No way Lou Dobbs would take the pay cut to go into public service. He’s going to Fox.
12 Banana Cream Pies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Four Calling Birds!!!!!
TEN PECKERED BILLY GOATS NEED LOVE, TOO.
I’d pay good money to see a billy goat with ten peckers! I’d even pay good money to see a RAM with ten peckers!
Hell, I’d pay good money to see ten peckers IN a goat!
I fought for your freedom, so SHUT UP! /rightietroll
i have just been given subpoena power in the mary peck affair and president wilson would be well advised to lay low for the foreseeable future.
yours in christ,
kenneth starr
Hell, I’d pay good money to see ten peckers IN a goat!
If that “sad little shorter” comes in here in heat, flouncing its 10 nanny goat vaginas around, what does it expect is going to happen? I’m just sayin’.
Y’know, if we all went up to that “Contact” linky-dinky up top and sent an email to all of Sadly,No! contributors, I bet we’d get a new thread, fershure.
Y’know, if we all went up to that “Contact” linky-dinky up top and sent an email to all of Sadly,No! contributors, I bet we’d get a new thread, fershure.
collaborator. sympathizer. tory.
tory.
Check your Spelling.
You go to snark with the thread you have, not the thread you wish you had.
OK. at everyone’s urchin, I’ll stop the fish puns.
Check your Spelling.
check yours, homeboy. unless you’re insisting the “t” be capped, in which case, let me note, i’ve never seen you make the same insistence with a little letter called “a” in a little word called “america.”
Check your Spelling.
Aaron’s spawn.
i’ve never seen you make the same insistence with a little letter called “a” in a little word called “america.”
Because “americA” looks funny.
OK. at everyone’s urchin, I’ll stop the fish puns.
Fry dontcha?
Check your Spelling.
Aaron’s spawn.
I thought the capitalization was a dead giveaway, but apparently, our little troll friend ain’t that bright.
our little troll friend ain’t that bright.
Probably has a mullet.
Y’know, if we all went up to that “Contact” linky-dinky up top and sent an email to all of Sadly,No! contributors, I bet we’d get a new thread, fershure.
either that, or we’d break the hamsters.
our little troll friend ain’t that bright.
Probably has a mullet.
And thinks we’re all knee gars.
Oh hell, someone had to go there…
break the hamsters
I remember that song! Red Hot Chili Gerbils, wasn’t it?
I thought the capitalization was a dead giveaway, but apparently, our little troll friend ain’t that bright..
This your first time at the rodeo?
This your first time at the rodeo?
Keep hope alive, I say.
No way Lou Dobbs would take the pay cut to go into public service. He’s going to Fox.
I swallowed hard this morning….go ahead, I’ll wait…
I swallowed hard this morning and watched Imus on FoxBiz, which could conceivably be the most annoying visual thing on TV, apart from Rosie O’Donnell and maybe Greta Susteren.
Anyway, I know that Imus and Lou are really good friends and I wanted to hear his take on things, and they had some bubbleheaded blonde from FoxBiz giving what passes for a business report. Imus asked her if she thought Dobbs was headed to Fox, and called him a psychopath…but he loves him.
I’m not sure Dobbs is heading there, but it would make a nice fit for him and would round out the rather…insane…line up of crackpot and conspiracists over there.
In a related development, Sean Hannity actually admitted that Olbermann was right, and that Hannity had used footage from another protest to DC to illustrate the size of the crowds for the Sept. 12 teabagging…I mean, protest.
Two months later, and all hushhush, of course. I wonder if you could actually hear him use the word “apologize”…
Aaron’s spawn.
eleazar, nadab, abihu or ithamar? poor, poor ithamar, whom everyone forgets just like julian lennon.
some bubbleheaded blonde from FoxBiz
should’ve gone with “bubbleheaded bleach blonde” for the don henley reference for the win.
It was Jon Stewart who pointed out the bogus clip, right?
Here’s what I like about all this: Bachmann and Hannity were claiming that 40,000 people came to the event (probably overestimating four times over), and using old footage to prove their point. The old footage was from an event that these goobers claimed had two million participants.
Double self-ownage. I love it.
It was Jon Stewart who pointed out the bogus clip, right?
D’Oh!
Gimme two months. I’ll apologize to Stewart.
should’ve gone with “bubbleheaded bleach blonde” for the don henley reference for the win.
She doesn’t bleach.
Ask me how I know.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fictional_characters_in_the_Timeline-191_series
Paul Mantarakis is a fictional character in an alternate history novel by Harry Turtledove, one in which the Confederates win.
I suspect that’s why he types things like “I reckon we’re needed.” If that sounds anachronistic, it’s because the character died in 1916–staying in character.
(Apologies if this has been pointed out before. It’s also odd that he didn’t mention deployment in his previous visits here.)
late to the party, but i have to say that i have always believed the only way to enact true change is to yell at anonymous people on the internet.
Boy, leave your desk for a few minutes and your pseudonyms just try to take over…
I am never, ever going to be able to read this whole thread. I don’t have enough time, and it’s growing now like a bacterium invading some young home-schooled wingnut’s spinal fluids.
Speaking of which:
Paul, we done tried facts & logic years and years ago. We were told that we in the “reality-based community” were just fucking gay for thinking that facts mattered. Also, we were told we were not American enough because we failed to wear our Made in China flag pins ebulliently enough, and that besides we were cheese-eating surrender monkeys who would welcome our Islamic Overlords with open arms.
After that, fuck it. There was no point in a factual, logical, or polite conversation. I can only handle being told I’m not a real American (born in Utah, grew up in Colorado, spent my adulthood in Kentucky) and I’m just some Coastal Elitist bleeding heart queerbate who doesn’t know what Heartland America is about. I’ve also been told that because I’m a liberal I can’t have a real (six figure) job (in IT) and of course know nothing of family (two children, married 17 years — unfortunately recently divorced but at least not because my wife was lying on a hospital bed with terminal cancer unlike your paragon of Fambly Values Newt Gingrich) values or anything else.
At this point I, and probably most libs, had decided that you conservatools are bigoted, small-minded, ignorant, arrogant, assholes and that civility and polity have left the room since, oh, about 1997. So, in closing, fuck what you think sideways off into outer space.
Well said slippy. Although 1997 seems a tad generous.
Not a hard call. FOX News likes them the pure and Nordic wimmin folk.
FOX News likes them the pure and Nordic wimmin folk
You mean Aryans.
slippy – that rant was a thing of pure beauty.
If you leave a thread for long enough, eventually when you come back it’s like having a brand new thread!
Sorta.
Slippy, if you start a blog I promise to read it every day.
So a few days ago we finally crossed the threshold–double digit unemployment this is despite Hopey’s “stimulus” program, he said WITHOUT the stimulus that we MIGHT see unemployment cross 8%. Waaaaaaay off there, BO. And when you take into account the number of people who have stopped looking for work, and those only working part-time who want full-time work, unemployment is closer to 20%.
How do you think those people who have been laid off or unable to find work will vote next time, libs? Do you think they will re-elect the Democrat Party when unemployment is 13% in 2012? Even if we miraculously begin adding jobs at a 1990s pace, unemployment won’t go below 6% until 2015.
Must suck to be in charge of the federal government right now!
Poor Troofie…dude, it must be tough being the last troll in on a long thread…I feel pity for you.
No, actually, it’s contempt. I lied.
And unlike Reagan, Hopey can’t lower interest rates (they’re already at ZERO) and he can’t cut taxes. In fact, he’s going to RAISE taxes soon when the Bush tax cuts expire, digging an even deeper whole for the economy.
Must suck to be in charge of the federal government right now!
No thanks to the idiots who were in charge the previous eight years, Troofus.
Must suck to be in charge of the federal government right now!
Yeah, but at least it’s a problem he’ll try to address. Unlike BushCo who’d just be off at his ranch, playing at being a cowboy. Or your party of nope who’ll recommend… wait for it:
tax cuts!
Run along and let the adults try to fix your mess.
Blame everyone but himself–the new Obama/lib mantra.
The “adults” you speak of already tried to “fix the mess” with massive government spending (a ONE TRILLION dollar “stimulus”) and even by their own measures, it FAILED.
Own your failure, libs.
In fact, he’s going to RAISE taxes soon when the Bush tax cuts expire, digging an even deeper whole for the economy.
Must suck to have so little understanding of economics that the only solution your ideology allows you to apply to any problem is tax cuts. Thank jeebus we had FDR when we needed him.
Great, now it smells like old fish and wingnugget flop sweat. And who left the Limburger & egg salad sandwich in the sauna?
What do you think raising taxes by billions of dollars will do to an economy already in the toilet?
Taxes take money from productive people that could be used to invest and create jobs and confiscates it to use on an unproductive thing (government). Government does not produce any goods, and what services it does provide are of inferior quality to the private sector.
that’s our Troofy. Rejoicing in bad news. Why does he hate Amurika?
Own your failure, libs.
The failure is all yours, dumbass.
Shouldn’t you be bringing up the Laffer Curve right about now?
#
Major Kong said,
November 12, 2009 at 12:25
In case you missed it, I am 10th Mountain Division at Ft. Drum and I am going to be deployed.
The 10th Mountain Division is an active duty unit. You said you were National Guard.
Heeee!! The troll walked right into that one. The Mountain Division of the National Guard is from Vermont. Not quite Ft Drum, is it Paul??
The first thing libs need to learn about the world is “Government cannot create wealth, only private investors can”.
The first thing libs need to learn about the world is “Government cannot create wealth, only private investors can”.
Spoof alert.
Yeah, I didn’t want those grapes anyway!
“the failure is all yours”
I’ll tell that to Barney Frank and Chriss Dodd.
Troofy hasn’t got any solutions, anyway, so why listen to him? He’s like the nagging spouse (either gender) who has nothing to contribute but criticism. And when there’s trouble, all he does is nag and complain, never pitches in.
His annoying character here has to be an accurate reflection of his personal character in real life.
I hope he’s a single recluse – I’d pity someone living with him.
Solutions?
How about we cut wasteful spending from the government. How about less taxes, less programs, less government, and less burdensome regulation?
seriously, dragon age is a terrible game and i don’t know why i keep playing it. i wish there were something that somehow combined the princess bride with the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy and also had a killer 80s soundtrack. i would never ever bother with real life again.
How about less taxes, less programs, less government, and less burdensome regulation?
“Now step over to the Taxcutinator and I will shout slogans at you!”
Yay! Less government! Less burdensome regulation! There’s still some beef in this country that doesn’t have Mad Cow in it! There are still some bridges that HAVEN’T fallen down! This is unacceptable!
Yeah! Who wants to use those crummy government interstate highways, when we have such a delightful selection of privately-run ones?
Because after all, tax cuts for the rich are a solution that has never been tried before in all of our history. How do we know it won’t lead to a fabulous economic renaissance? You liberals have no sense of innovation!
Frist!
The last eight years weren’t MY responsibility, nope, nope!
If I remember the economy did very well under Bush until the Democrats took over Congress. Hmmmm….
“How about we cut wasteful spending from the government.”
Excellent. Let’s start with the military. You know, the one we spend more on than the next 40 countries combined? How many Cold War era programs do we need to keep?
Then, lets cut the give-aways to the coal and oil industries. Let’s cut the subsidies to the agriculture industry.
Hey, this is fun!
705th!
i would never ever bother with real life again.
Again?
If I remember …
Obviously you don’t.
How about less taxes, less programs, less government, and less burdensome regulation?
Just like Somalia. Brilliant.
If I remember the economy did very well under Bush until the Democrats took over Congress. Hmmmm….
I like this way of thinking.
“The stairs collapsed because you set foot on them, not because water has been eroding the bedrock underneath them for years! It’s all YOUR fault!”
I always blame everyone but myself for my mistakes, yup, yup, durrrr….
Just like Somalia.
Only without all those awful Somalians spraying their graffiti everywhere.
Mission Accomplished! Bring it On! Yup, yup, durrr…
f I remember the economy did very well under Bush until the Democrats took over Congress.
Shuffling to the bathroom this morning I farted and right at that moment the sun peeked over the horizon. Y’all motherfuckers better keep feeding me homemade enchiladas or the sun might go away forever.
My mom says there’s a lot of black people in Somalia
Even though I admit that Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11, burning trillions of dollars on a pointless war against Iraq obviously had no effect on the economy! Yup, yup, durrr….
…burning trillions of dollars on a pointless war against Iraq obviously had no effect on the economy!
Au contraire, mon frere. It’s been great for the prosthetic limb industry.
i would never ever bother with real life again.
Again?
i make occasional excursions.
Of all the wingnut whinging, I find the whinging about “excessive regulation” perhaps the most tiresome. Thus the following open letter:
Dear Wingnuts,
If your company can’t make a profit without killing, poisoning and/or maiming your employees; or without polluting air, land and water; or without producing substandard, dangerous or non-functioning products; if the only hope you see for the economy is a return to the days when human life was cheap, fraud was a way of life and the Earth was assumed to be infinite, U R DOIN IT RONG! Sit down and let somebody else have a turn.
No love at all,
Me
Speaking of which, remember how under Dubya when it was obvious how things were sucking even then, that wingnuts never blamed Clinton or Carter or the liberal media, but totally owned up to their mistakes and made America a safer place? Remember that? Yeah, me neither.
But but but I lust after Dragon’s Age: Origins like I have lusted after nothing before, not even Jason Scott Lee or B.D. Wong, and that is saying something. Please, please don’t tell me it’s terrible! I’m going to buy it anyway, and all your warning is going to do is make me feel bad the morning after.
Damn, that stinks.
No more enchiladas for you, kingubu.
Oh, nevermind, it’s just Toofless.
I can haz better trolls nao?
Icky buttsecks makes Jesus say fuck the poor.
Built of 100% win.
You libs want solutions? Here’s your solution: FIX EVERYTHING!
Pedestrian,
Between this and their direct lobbying for Stupak the Catholic Church needs to lose their tax-exempt status. Unfortunately, that’s almost as likely as Lieberman losing his chair of the Homeland Security Committee.
And who left the Limbau
rgher & egg salad sandwich in the sauna?Fiqqst.
Honestly, people.
But but but I lust after Dragon’s Age: Origins like I have lusted after nothing before, not even Jason Scott Lee or B.D. Wong, and that is saying something. Please, please don’t tell me it’s terrible! I’m going to buy it anyway, and all your warning is going to do is make me feel bad the morning after.
well my complaints are mainly:
1) i’ve come to loathe the tagalong randroid mage whom i have to keep bribing with sad little trinkets to get her to like me so she keeps fighting well. she’s also basically an xp vulture against easy targets and useless vs more difficult magic resistant targets.
2) long cinematic scenes and dialogue scenes i can’t seem to fast forward through. these are supposed to make the game feel more like interactive fiction, but it cramps my killing and acquiring style.
3) everything is linear and quest driven. no blundering around aimlessly having random encounters. of course i haven’t played a next gen game yet that encouraged that, not even oblivion, so maybe that aspect of gaming is just passe’. maybe i’m just a dinosaur.
if you really want a piece of interactive fantasy fiction, it’s probably a pretty good game. and the voiceover work is really pretty good. i think some people will really have a serious hard on for the game, but personally i’m just waiting for left for dead to come out.
The pc version of Dragon’s Age: Origins is indeed completely awesome. Higly recommended to old-school rpg fans.
And yeah, Troofy, if M’cPalin had been elected everyone in America would be gainfully employed, there’d be now wars, the economy would be surging, and you’d be getting laid, right?
Freakin’ typos… grrrr…
Yeah, I would have a hard time deciding between Left for Dead 2 and a willing JSL. Perhaps it speaks to my advanced age, but at this point I would actually lean toward the video game…
The question is, ‘no” or “new”?
Can we get a thousand comments, folks? Don’t stop now!!!
The pc version of Dragon’s Age: Origins is indeed completely awesome. Higly recommended to old-school rpg fans.
So, political correctness has now infected the “kill things, take their stuff” genre of gaming? How is it PC? Are the orcs misunderstood freedom fighters, driven to sack villages because they’ve be plowed under by the evil faerie/industrial complex? *snerk*
I WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED
And yeah, Troofy, if M’cPalin had been elected everyone in America would be gainfully employed, there’d be now wars, the economy would be surging, and you’d be getting laid, right?
You Liberals and your idealistic fantasy worlds. Try living in REALITY sometime, crazypants.
cs lewis, th white, cp snow, and jrr tolkein walk into a bar.
note the use of the oxford comma, to snub the cambridge men. i am a very subtil zemblan
It would take more than the demonic miracle that would cause a Palin presidency to get Troofus laid. Unless we are talking about goats again.
In fact, he’s going to RAISE taxes soon when the Bush tax cuts expire, digging an even deeper whole for the economy.
1993: The Clinton administration raises taxes, thus creating the single biggest economc expansion, not in American history, but in the history of the world.
You might want to study economics, shit head.
Troofus laid. Unless we are talking about goats again.
whatever gets me through the night
it’s alright
alright
alright
(don’t need a gun to blow your mind)
justme,
Couldn’t agree more. I just can’t believe that even that Catholic Church would hold homeless people and orphans hostage in order to deny civil rights to others. Why does religion make people so evil?
If I remember the economy did very well under Bush until the Democrats took over Congress.
Guess again, shithead!
When a six-year-old plays Mozart from sheet music, is it Mozart’s fault that it doesn’t sound good?
So when a group of selfish, closeted pigs interpret a thousand-plus year old set of spiritual ideas to mean that they should deny people rights and starve the poor (while they diddle choirboys), in direct opposition to what the set of ideas actually exhort them to do, why do you blame the ideas? Isn’t it more the fault and responsibility of the pigs?
1993: The Clinton administration raises taxes, thus creating the single biggest economc expansion, not in American history, but in the history of the world.
Oh, hey there. You must have me confused with my brother.
Why does religion make people so evil?
An immortal, omnipotent superbeing would get really, really bored, so it would stir up all kinds of nasty crap just for shits and giggles.
On a good day, such a being would cook up something wacky, like the platypus, but on a bad day-WATCH OUT!
As Tom Waits put it, “Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, there’s just God when he’s drunk.”
When a six-year-old plays Mozart from sheet music, is it Mozart’s fault that it doesn’t sound good?
and when a ten year old mexican boy copies and pastes republican talking points onto the internet, you get gary ruppert. http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/003612.html
proudly awards self s,n! lore merit badge
Correlation said,
November 12, 2009 at 21:17
Shhhhhhhhhhh, it makes as much sense as the crap Troofie posts.
Unfortunately, it happens to be true…
On a good day, such a being would cook up something wacky, like the platypus, but on a bad day-WATCH OUT!
Personally, I’m with Spinoza on this issue:
God created the earth and heavens and universe and then went off and made himself a nice ham sandwich.
An immortal, omnipotent superbeing would get really, really bored, so it would stir up all kinds of nasty crap just for shits and giggles.
Gods used to be much more with the god+people sexytime. Sure, godly golden showers and swan-rape can get old, too, but stirring shit up over and over is boring AND orgasmless. Unless you’re a neocon, of course.
i’m with kierkegaard, generally speaking. but also wittgenstein.
obama is down with tillich, which i find one of his more troublesome leanings.
although it could be worse. if we ever have a president who reads plantinga, i’m moving to zembla.
golden showers and swan-rape
i saw that film. a pinter/losey collaboration, i think. later referenced in songs by lovers and sad giants, the psychedelic furs, and, strangely enough, an episode of hill street blues.
sad lovers and giants, rather. they might be sad giants, too. but giants have no reason to be sad, since they were watchers and taught the comely daughters of men to wear eyeliner then fucked their brains out. it wasn’t until robert smith that someone taught the comely sons of men to properly wear eyeliner.
Roy has the advance SCOOP on “Going Rogue.”
Hilarious.
actually i thought roy phoned in his palin piece. if you replace references to middle american icons with “starbucks” and “american apparel” and “i’m paying 3000 dollars a month for this apartment? seriously?” it could read like an unfunny corn pone comedian making fun of new york.
the best take on palin, naturally, comes from taibbi. http://trueslant.com/matttaibbi/2009/11/02/palinoia-sarah-palin-going-rogue-book-autobiography-memoir/
756th
I think it was Descarte who famously said “Go fuck yourself Troofie!”
That which does not kill the thread makes it stranger.
A thousand? Can I hear one-thousand?!
Quand viendra la
saisonposte nouvelle,Quand auront disparu les froids,
Tous les deux nous irons, ma belle,
Pour cueillir le muguet aux bois;
Sous nos pieda égrenant les perles
Que l’on voit au matin trembler
Nous irons écouter les merles
Siffler.
I’d advise skipping the mayo.
Wham
bang
mon chat “Splash” gite sur mon lit a bouffe
Sa langue en buvant trop mon whysky
Quand a moi peu dormi
vide
brime
J’ai du dormir dans la goutiere
Oil j’ai un flash
ouh
ouh
ouh.
En 4 couleurs
allez op
un matin
Une louloute est v’nue chez moi
Poupee de cellophane
cheveux chinois
Sure, godly golden showers and swan-rape can get old, too, but stirring shit up over and over is boring AND orgasmless.
Yeah, the current deity only got it on with one gal- WTF? Whatever happened to those gods who were into gender-bending barnyard sexytime?
swan-rape
Resisting the urge to post duck-rape links yet again… sorry, I am simultaneously creeped out and obsessed with the Anatidae- they look so comical, but, as I wrote before- WATCH OUT!
One small word from Savannah, one small comment closer to 1000…
As Twoofy would say:
“Hmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmm?”
…but ducks can’t be raped!
Zevran!
Note: Possibly NSFW.
…but ducks can’t be raped!
Because they dress so slutty — they’re just asking for it.
Because they dress so slutty — they’re just asking for it.
Flicking their asses back and forth, I know, has many times made me ponder it…
I mean, some men.
They don’t just ask for it…they flock to it.
Shhhhhhhhhhh, it makes as much sense as the crap Troofie posts.
Unfortunately, it happens to be true…
Oh. Well, all right then.
And while we’re on the subject, you know who else kickstarted the economy by passing a massive tax hike? Hitler.
i’ve seen this kind of thing happen before. this site has been abandoned. there will never again be another main page post. bookmark it.
773
this site has been abandoned.
I’m not willing to write it off just yet. Elton Beard’s site, now that’s dead.
But even the Poor Man Institute has awakened again, for the moment, so there is yet hope.
Man, this thread is separating the men from the boys.
Except for the elf video.
Well, I don’t think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before and it has always been due to human error.
Oh, wait, was that gay nsfw?
See, now I’m gonna click on it.
Our hosts went Galt then they were bitten by zombies and now they ARE zombies and their fingers keep flying every where when they type.
IT’S TRUE!
Super sup, crazy commies! Da Cooler Coach here, live from Phreaky Philips with J-SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! Too bad you loony libs can’t withstand the HIGHLIGHT of LOSING soon to be dunked all over you in 2010 and 2012 once America gets downwind from Obambi’s socialist overreach! Ya better believe that the Comeback Cons are leading the way with Spectacular Sarah, the Proud Palin! Moh-moh-moh-MONSTER KILL, libs! Woody out.
Daisy..daisy…give me your…answer do…
Orly court filing, Ahooga!
http://wonkette.com/tag/pt-eww/
http://www.scribd.com/doc/21451147/Lucas-Daniel-Smith-10-12-09-new-Declaration-SACV09-00082-DOC-Anx
A choice excerpt from page 9 of the court filing. Yes Court Filing.
Verbatim quote from ex-lover. shudder.
“She’s a bitch. She’s crazy. She’s a crazy bitch.”
And when you take into account the number of people who have stopped looking for work, and those only working part-time who want full-time work, unemployment is closer to 20%.
It’s kind of funny how this stastistic only exists during Democratic administrations.
Oh god, his description of sex with Oily Tits….I’M BLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!!!!!!
Verbatim quote from ex-lover. shudder.
“She’s a bitch. She’s crazy. She’s a crazy bitch.”
Look, if you’re trying to ruin my lunch, why wouldn’t you go with:
Because it is these half-measures, finally, that defeat us.
Looks like Coach Urban Meyer changed his name. Fresh from his 9th grade remedial English class and trying too hard to be cool. Oh and turn your baseball cap around the right way DUDE! That shit went out when you were in diapers.
This thread has been declared dead more times than John Travolta’s career.
hotter, hornier, wetter, tighter, more of a nympho than I’ve ever met, in fact.
Think of the children, man!
THINK OF THE ZOMBIES!
why wouldn’t you go with:
Copy/paste fail. I was going to excerpt a couple of paragraphs.
actually coach urban meyer is one of my favourite posters. i always look forward to his appearances.
I feel much better now, I really do.
actually coach urban meyer is one of my favourite posters. i always look forward to his appearances.
Thanks.
ding dong dilly, lame-o libs. i’m here to serve up a spread of truth about the obummer.
Re-reading the actual post this time, I notice that the wingnuts have made two contradictory claims:
1. Dems are socialistcommies who want to destroy corporations; and
2. Dems have ruled corporations for the past 50 years.
We sure took our time destroying them, didn’t we?
Thanks.
You’re welcome. Pleased to meet me.
We sure took our time destroying them, didn’t we?
That’s where “Dems are incompetent” fits in.
Not with a bang, but with a plethora of Goober posts.
Goobers just aren’t the same since they got bought out by Nestle.
798
**Sigh**
Thread..so..heavy…hard to…carry..forward…
That’s where “Dems are incompetent” fits in.
If you’re looking to have things truly DESTROYED, there’s only one party to vote for. It’s the one thing Republicans do well.
when a ten year old mexican boy copies and pastes republican talking points onto the internet
That’s Amore!See, I can move on from applying the same joke on every occasion.
See, I can move on from applying the same joke on every occasion.
That’s no more!
I don’t know and…oh shit, look at the time…
Boy howdy, I tell you…the proprietors of this place are going to owe us thread, tubs of thread….
Sous nos pieds égrenant les perles
Tigrismus lowers the level of discourse with a pearl-necklace reference.
I don’t know what it says about me that I’ve read every single one of the 800+ posts in this thread but I’m pretty sure it isn’t good.
But now that we’re here, let’s push on to four digits! C’mon, trolls, you can do it!
Yah, where is troofus? Aren’t there pages to be bookmarked, great liberal freakouts to be a-started? Back in the day, trolls had a WORK ethic….
Back in the day, trolls had a WORK ethic….
I’m very concerned.
I mean, he’s even stopped stalking me on-line, and Googling me and sending threatening e-mails to my spamtrap…
Jesus, your memory SUCKS.
The economy took a giant steaming SHIT almost as soon as Bush was appointed and started vehemently talking it down. It took another SHIT when 9/11 struck, and then unemployment went WHEEEEEEE for just about everyone starting in 2002, and the job market swirled down the shitter and has basically NEVER recovered.
What fucking fantasy land were you living in when the economy did well over the last 9 years? Nobody else thinks so, doofus.
Troofie’s still working on that magnum opus which will utterly disgrace the diabolical Obama children.
So far, he’s pretty sure that since they’re girls, they most certainly have cooties.
I mean, he’s even stopped stalking me on-line, and Googling me and sending threatening e-mails to my spamtrap…
Tell us a story?
Also, are our proprietors going to come back tomorrow, post a lengthy rant about “safe spaces,” and demand to know if we’re “all in”?
Is it me or is this thread starting to feel like we’re trapped in the S,N! version of a Beckett play?
Waiting for Godot or Endgame?–your call.
Also, are our proprietors going to come back tomorrow
I would have put even money on that…until SOMEone posted details from the Orly Taitz civil suit documents…
*glaraing at gocart mozart*
From the department of bad writing and overwrought metaphors:
http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/11/tea_parties_misunderstood_and.html
Elected officials of every political stripe ought to be shaking down to their Gucci loafers and pumps. History is forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house. Yet they seem utterly oblivious.
Get up till I embrace you!
*glaraing at gocart mozart*
(hides head in shame)
But, but, Laffer curve, Heritage Foundation, bork bork bork splutter blurhglaghalghr!!!! And also!
History is forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house.
Members are stiffening as openings are created for penetration into the deep dark dusky recesses of…
I need some water, please.
Now is no time for dissension and pointing fingers of blame.
So I’ll just be over here, putting my fingers to other uses.
Ahh, my beloved liberal droogs, imitating and obsessing about me forever and ever. It’s adorable the way you long for me to post, the way you create sockpuppets to mimic me (poorly) or pretend like very lost troll soul who happens upon this pathetic place is The Truth. Pretty soon you’ll lose all memory of your Gary Ruppert clown and have “The Truth” and all forms thereof starting off posts with the classic “The fact is…”
Amazing that you can’t handle victory. Mostly because it wasn’t victory at all, merely a corrupt media/ACORN/racist voter-influenced bump in the road for conservatism; truly a few years in the wilderness are doing the GOP well. Just look at the passion of the tea parties! Look at the millions we’ve had descend on Washington! Look at all that and pretend like you’ll still have majorities in 2010 and the White House in 2012. It is to laugh.
Unaware of your own demise, you poor, poor droogs fritter away here at this lousy site, obsessed with your own trivial humor and faux-hipster obsessions. And me, always me. Bookmark this, libs, the clock ticks, ticks, ticks.
millions
A whole political movement of people who never learned to count. It is to weep.
Bookmark this, libs, the clock ticks, ticks, ticks.
I’m guessing he doesn’t have a digital clock…
But it ain’t separating the men from the ducks, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
really, PeeJ. That was gay.
So I’ll just be over here, putting my fingers to other uses.
Diddling, Bo?
Let’s just say I’ll be in mah bunk.
if you know what I mean and I think you do.
I have NO idea! And who left all this down around my feet????
Ah. So the teabaggers are protesting for a vague … um, concept?
Boy, that should turn out well.
This comment contains some tough news. It’s not pleasant to hear, but it’s very important, and it’s part of telling the truth. If you disagree with my claim that The Truth is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom, then read no further.
For brevity, I won’t comment further on that but rather on the way that Truth’s idiotic claim that rash roustabouts are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive is just that, an idiotic claim. Truth says he’s going to create an ideological climate that will enable him to use paid informants and provocateurs to annihilate a person’s personality, individuality, will, and character sooner or later. Good old Truth. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how shiftless they sound. By the same token, he shouldn’t engage in the trafficking of human beings. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions draw unsuspecting antagonists into the orbit of immoral, unholy beguilers.
I could accept, perhaps, bunco games backed by the forces of logic and powerful reasoning. Rantings marked with hypocrisy and contradiction, however, merit none of my respect. I don’t need to tell you that Truth is battening on us. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that Truth has been trying for some time to sell the public on an emotionalism-based government. His sales pitch proceeds both pragmatically and emotionally. The pragmatic argument: Truth is as innocent as a newborn lamb. The emotional argument: Interventionism forms the core of any utopian society. As you can see, neither argument is valid, which should indicate to you that the wild thugs that comprise Truth’s cameralism movement are as thick as thieves. If one of them is willing to undermine liberty in the name of liberty, then they all are. What’s more, none of them is able to accept that Truth has been known to say that his decisions are based on reason. That notion is so maladroit, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Because The Truth is so caught up in trying to provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction, I’d like to conclude this letter by quoting to him the last line of R. M. Rilke’s poem, “Archaic Torso of Apollo”: “You must change your life.”
the
mankakapo who mistook his hat for a wife said,Fized
So, via TPM is this piece from a NY Daily News writer’s chance encounter with The Prez at Arlington Cemetery. A bit of a contrast from, “Now watch this drive.”
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/11/12/2009-11-12_my_solemn_surprise_meeting_with_the_president_at_my_friends_resting_place.html?print=1&page=all
In the
interest of
getting this thread
past the 1K mark
, at which point we hope to be granted a new thread,
may I suggest
I’m personally obsessed with my own trivial obsessions, including an Obsession obsession, an Obsession obsession, and even an obsession obsession, but I have to say as a Christian, a family man, and a small-business owner that your obsession obsession obsession can lead nowhere good.
WOLVERINES!!!!!
breaking up your comments
BURMA SHAVE!
a Christian, a family man, and a small-business owner walk into a bar…
Rejected obsessions: “Obsession”, The Obsessed, Ossessione, visiting my alienist to deal with my issues with the river Ob, Circle of Two, Glenn Greenwald.
“this piece from a NY Daily News writer…”
See, he’s just a big phony. He should be in Texas, clearing brush like a real man.
History is forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house.
That is HOT. But leaves me confuzzled, nonetheless.
“Unalienable rights” was a phrase I heard over and over again.
“Inalienable” is usually the phrase I hear, but then again I don’t grow ear potatoes on a commercial scale.
What this thread needs is a little Dash.
WOL
OK, since we’re all bored and trying to keep the thread poking along, how about a song?
The Granite Countertops cover “Lullaby For Hamza” by Robert Wyatt.
VER
What this thread needs is a little Dash.
A pinch? A skosh? Or a **cough** dash?
INES!!!
Who opened the troll jar? Was it you Actor?
one
I had my proverbial brick wall torn down so that my aphorisms could roam free.
So I have used Macs and I have used PCs and I just wanna say…
EAT FAT
Maybe we should complain about Harry Reid for a while.
History is forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house.
So… people who live in glass houses shouldn’t… have… brick walls… built… next to… them?
Is there something in the conservative mindset that prevents them from using figures of speech correctly? Or is it just that none of them are native English speakers?
What is the brick wall supposed to do to the glass house? Fall over on top of it? That would seem to be a metaphor for “we’re destroying ourselves and taking you with us!”, which, come to think of it, is a good summing up of the teapartyists’ goals.
TDOS Wanker tells a “joke”.
http://confederateyankee.mu.nu/
“You know what the difference is between Bill Ayers wanting to put Americans in concentration camps for believing in capitalism, and Nancy Pelosi wanting to put you in prison for not buying government-rationed insurance?”
i don’t care what anyone says, mike was the better mst3k host than joel, even though joel’s skits were better. but mike’s rapport with the bots in the screening room was first rate.
Stupid is their mother tongue.
And they’re all about tongue-jacking the firm, firm bricks and showing us all through the transparent walls of their glass houses.
Invoice for Mr Truth
For phoning it in – $0.01
Why not try our Unlimited Plan, with Rollover
Wait, I thought the point of a joke was to be funny…
So wait, maybe… history is firming up hard as a brick wearing two wetsuits and it’s peering in a conservatory at Congressional… tomatoes?
Magnificent Obsession: 1935 version with Irene Dunn and Robert taylor or Sirk’s later Wayman/Hudson remake? Show your work.
Maybe we should complain about Harry Reid for a while.
He always leaves the toilet seat up. This alone makes him history’s greatest monster.
I think the correct proverb is “It is easier for a brick wall to go through a stained glass window than it is for a camel to poke you in the eye with a needle.”
I will metion that Wayman was originally cast but Wyman stepped in after only a few days shooting.
Taylor. Also.
Sirk, by a mile. Two words: Agnes Moorehead.
I blame WordPress.
And FY also.
really, PeeJ. That was gay.
By now, you should know that it’s a feature, not a bug!
Now, PeeJ. what are you cooking?
The Weather Underground did a lot of crazy and downright stupid shit, but I never heard of them planning concentration camps. WTF is he on about?
130 to go, libs!
The Weather Underground did a lot of crazy and downright stupid shit, but I never heard of them planning concentration camps. WTF is he on about?
Simple. We all know that FEMA is building death camps. And what else does FEMA do? Clean up after natural disasters. And what causes a lot of natural disasters? Weather. It’s all connected, people! </glenn-beck>
Also, I think TDOS is confusing Bill Ayers with Michele Malkin. Also
I call fake Glenn Beck.
No tears.
That’s because he switched to Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo.
Honestly, I think our overlords were sitting around a bar, and decided to start a pool. “How long can We not post but the commenters, will. Days? Weeks?
Whatever!! It’s a lot less work on Our part! The bet is on!!!
I will try to translate.
Elected officials of every political stripe ought to be shaking down to their Gucci loafers and pumps.[She’ talking to you Lindsey Graham] History is forming and firming up harder than [veiled teabag reference]the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house.[??] Yet they seem utterly oblivious.
Hmm, it must be a typo. I think she meant “dick wall” or “wall of dicks” as in the original Hebrew translation from Leviticus.
I’ve rolled up my sleeves–let’s get this thing did!
“How long can We not post but the commenters, will. Days? Weeks?
Whatever!! It’s a lot less work on Our part! The bet is on!!!
Current champeen: The Poor Man Institute, 33 days.
Because this thread is going longer than it should, I proudly present my list of novel slang terms for unspeakable acts:
– Soaking the cheadle.
– Admitting Florida.
– Boysenberry topping.
– Snickerdoodles.
– “Sad Men”.
– Teabagging the glass house.
– Hot glue pistol.
– The Wasilla Miracle.
– A “smoky eye”.
– Eggers.
– Calling in Thomas Paine.
– “The Prestige”.
– Unemployment insurance.
I know, BBB, I just thought I might point it out to PeeJ.
Also Bookmark My Balls, Troofus.
I personally believe they will return with a post that will rival both Catch 22 and Breakfast of Champions in it’s satirical magnificence, and bring the pillars of our corrupt plutocracy down in one grandiloquent thump.
I mean, they better, after all this…
I mean, they better, after all this…
Don’t jinx it, or we’re just gonna get a crappy little “shorter.”
Also.
Come down from your rage high enough to try and post normally have we, Troofus? But here’s the thing, even when you are relatively “sane”, for a trooful definition of sane, you and your life have just become an absolute parody… Observe!
Ahh, my beloved liberal droogs,
Quoting Clockwork Orange because, despite what those nasty liberals say about you, you aren’t a violent anti social fuckwit? Bound to work!
imitating and obsessing about me forever and ever. It’s adorable the way you long for me to post,
But you said you weren’t ever going to post here again! Why would we want an honest upstanding convservative to break his… Oh! I get it, you’ve been “pwned” as you sometimes claim you do to others here, and don’t yet realise it!
the way you create sockpuppets to mimic me (poorly) or pretend like very lost troll soul who happens upon this pathetic place is The Truth.
Now I could sit here and explain that no, no one really misses you, until we all fall about laughing at a reminder of you, as you yourself just stated… but that would be too painful an awareness to have wouldn’t it? Incidentally, the reason those “sockpuppets” are so “poor” is because no one cares enough to put any more effort in. This message is on course to have taken me maybe 5 minutes to type, including quote formatting. Ooooh such an important person you are, yes you are wikkle diddums!
Pretty soon you’ll lose all memory of your Gary Ruppert clown and have “The Truth” and all forms thereof starting off posts with the classic “The fact is…”
LOL WUT? I thought we thought everyone here was you? So you now claim that there’s more than one troll mocked here? And despite this place being so terrible, you admit now you obsessively read and learn and remember (even though you try to forget, addiction is a terrible thing isn’t it?) the other memes and habits of Sadly No! But don’t worry, that Bitch Ruppert won’t steal all your beloved attention forever! You’ll show him won’t you?! You’ll batter the progressives at Sadly No until they love you and you only!
Amazing that you can’t handle victory. Mostly because it wasn’t victory at all, merely a corrupt media/ACORN/racist voter-influenced bump in the road for conservatism;
And there’s the Troofus we all know and “love”! If Troofus can’t have the liberals, NO ONE CAN! Troofus DESTROY all sense of liberal accomplishment (he wishes)!
truly a few years in the wilderness are doing the GOP well. Just look at the passion of the tea parties! Look at the millions we’ve had descend on Washington!
Except… well, does it really need pointing out that Troofus’ amazingly wrong political radar claims millions for the Tea Bagging Orgy on the day when Glenn Beck himself has to admit he’s running video of a different event in Washington entirely, which itself never claimed anywhere near 3 figure attendance in the first place? How can one man be so consistently disconnected from actual “Truth”?!
Look at all that and pretend like you’ll still have majorities in 2010 and the White House in 2012. It is to laugh.
Sometime, somewhere, Troofus heard “it is to laugh”. And it wormed it’s way into his OCD addled mind and he thought; I must repeat that at every possible opportunity. And no one knows why. But he’ll do it, all the same, because argle bargle waaagh!
Unaware of your own demise, you poor, poor droogs fritter away here at this lousy site,
That you can’t give up either, don’t forget! 🙂
obsessed with your own trivial humor
That you try and parody, don’t forget!
and faux-hipster obsessions. And me, always me. Bookmark this, libs, the clock ticks, ticks, ticks.
And you, always you of course!
Ending with “Bookmark this, libs” though? In tribute to the previous prediction which got absolutely every state and the Presidency wrong?It’s just the cherry on the perfect, insane cake of idiocy! Come on, own up, which of you “libs” wrote this as a parody of The Truths fractured mind? It’s just too delicious a cake to be real, right?!
4 minutes 20 seconds to write by the way. Or WAS it? Am I making a hipster reference then? Or JUST PRETENDING to be a hipster, because we’re all “faux” hipsters, what ever that means in whacko world apparently? Poor old Truthy, hipsters stole a girl he used to sit in the bushes leering at (he never did get to talk to her) and wouldn’t accept his extreme reactionary views in their hipster student bars (he never wanted to go to them or get an education anyway) and now HE’S BEEN REJECTED BY PEOPLE WHO AREN’T EVEN REAL HIPSTERS!
Troofus…. RAGE! Troofus… SMASH!
@ alec
What no “hiking the appalachian trail”?
In other news . . . Fuck the Catholic Church.
http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/us-bishops-vote-mandatory-feeding-veg
Bravo, Alec. Might I suggest “The Mung Sprout?” It’s like 2 “smokey eyes,” but with a slightly larger pillow.
The nature and extent of our current national crisis, as well as its causes and cures, are the subject of intense political struggle. I offer this letter as a contribution to that struggle and debate in hopes of helping to hone in on The Truthful Problem With Ruppert’s faults with laser-like precision. For the sake of review, what The Truthful Problem With Ruppert is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly grungy activity. Although I generally try to be tolerant of unabashed laziness, defiant incompetence, willful ignorance, and combative arrogance, he spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his endeavors while ignoring the fact that he keeps saying that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. This is exemplary of the nonsensical rhetoric and scaremongering that typifies the language of refractory spoilsports and other audacious, self-indulgent criminal masterminds.
Unsettling as that is, the more infuriating fact is that the main dissensus between me and The Truthful Problem With Ruppert is that I insist that it is of paramount importance not to let The Truthful Problem With Ruppert’s worshippers keep essential documents hidden from the public until they become politically moot. He, on the other hand, contends that ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by lascivious, pudibund quacks for the purpose of population reduction. There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that he wants to prevent us from commenting on his allegations. If he manages to do that, he’ll have plenty of time to focus on his core mission: turning boeotians loose against us good citizens. We need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with The Truthful Problem With Ruppert. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that The Truthful Problem With Ruppert has been trying to convince us that he has been robbed of all he does not possess. This pathetic attempt to force people to act in ways far removed from the natural patterns of human behavior deserves no comment other than to say that The Truthful Problem With Ruppert once tried to promote mediocrity over merit. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you clearly don’t understand how The Truthful Problem With Ruppert operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that anyone who hasn’t been living in a cave with his eyes shut and his ears plugged knows that there is a format he should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.
All of these things are related: Bonapartism, The Truthful Problem With Ruppert’s animadversions, and the general breakdown of our society. I’ll even tell you how they’re related. It’s really very simple. In essence, I plan to contribute to the intellectual and spiritual health of the body politic. This is a choice I have made; your choice is up to you. But let me remind you that The Truthful Problem With Ruppert’s lickspittles have decided, behind closed doors and in closed sessions, to foster and intensify The Truthful Problem With Ruppert’s drug-drenched drama of immorality. Well, that’s getting away from my main topic, which is that he always looks the other way when one of his zealots gets it in his head to write off whole sections of society. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d’Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. I can see from the length of what I’ve written so far that I should save the rest of my comments about The Truthful Problem With Ruppert for a future letter. Let me close by stating simply that The Truthful Problem With Ruppert’s meandering and maundering comments definitely indicate that he intends to sully my reputation by the next full moon.
Not if you’re old enough to swear, dear.
Indeed.
Fuck the Catholic Church. Also.
All right: Sadly, No! Industries can’t be arsed exposing the greatest swindle in history—an issue so explosive that it’s never mentioned in any of the weak-ass political polemics we see tossed back and forth by our two determined-to-conceal-the-crimes-of-capitalism political parties—so I will:
Cutting chocolate cake into square pieces does not magically convert it into “brownies!”
There! I said it! Let the heavens fall! WOLVERINES!!
I’ve found the Truth’s wife, and boy does she like to Tart It Up!
wha?..
personally believe they will return with a post that will rival both Catch 22 and Breakfast of Champions in it’s satirical magnificence,
you’re going with catch 22 and breakfast of champions with good as gold and cat’s cradle on the table, respectively? really?
Yes, Reverend. Tell me about these ‘Magical’ ‘Brownies’.
Tommmcatt said,
November 13, 2009 at 1:17
I personally believe they will return with a post that will rival both Catch 22 and Breakfast of Champions in it’s satirical magnificence, and bring the pillars of our corrupt plutocracy down in one grandiloquent thump.
Resist setting the bar to high!
I proudly present my list of novel slang terms for unspeakable acts:
You are such a newsletter tease.
Unaware of your own demise, you poor, poor droogs fritter away here at this lousy
Great, now I want fritters.
And the fact is, Gary’s hotter.
I loved Cat’s Cradle, by the way.
History is forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house.
Also, a tidal wave AND a perfect storm.
How about just:
“forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick,
going Bachmann on her ass, and
making the one eyed Beck cry.”
Well if no one else is going to post the Sarah Palin hearts Moose Christmas Tree ornament, consider it done.
~
Somehow that is not the organ that leaps to mind when i hear the phrase “One-Eyed Beck”.
Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a failed vice-presidential candidate out of my hat!
By the way, thanks,The Truthful Problem With Ruppert: I never thought of A Clockwork Orange, probably since it’s been 40 years since I read it. I truly wondered where the pseudo-Russian came from. I kind of assumed Troofy, like a lot of neocons, was an ex-commie, but then decided, no, he was too illiterate for that.
good christ. He actually said “it is to laugh!”
“One-Eyed Beck”.
Wasn’t he in “Nailin Palin?”
Now, PeeJ. what are you cooking?
Nothing yet and I’m off to the market just now. Rest assured, whatever it is, it will be gay.
It’s chilly and rainy so I’m leaning towards something hearty and comforting. I’m also trending toward easy. Let me think … maybe …
Okay. Belgian stew (beef, braised in beer with onions, and carrots) ladled over garlicky smashed potatoes.
I’ve got some pears: clafoutis with poached pears might be on the table this evening.
Note to self: Pick up a few extra bottles of whatever dupel looks good.
Yeah, that will work.
I’m also running an “Overstocked” sale on commas.
In other news . . . Fuck the Catholic Church.
http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/us-bishops-vote-mandatory-feeding-veg
In response to recent Papal Bull, US bishops are considering whether vegetables should be mandatory.
I am outraged.
Just look at the passion of the tea parties!
The power of Crist compels them.
~
History is forming and firming up harder than the proverbial brick wall right outside their congressional glass house.
Also, a tidal wave AND a perfect storm.
Mmm, how about the Winds of Change? And A New Broom?
FWIW, I’d think that a firmly hard brick wall right outside someone’s glass house would actually be a good thing, seeing as how it would protect it from thrown or falling objects.
Dateline: A mediocre hotel in DC.
So what’s new at S,N!?
I’ve got some pears: clafoutis with poached pears might be on the table this evening.
One of my fave fall desserts is a french pear tart with dark chocolate on the bottom of the shell. arrange the pears on the chocolate, then fill the shell with an egg/cream custard flavored with a little poire william, and bake.
I think she just got herself confused and mixed up the words. Perhaps she meant to refer to the proverbial brick shit-house and somethihng about a congressional glass slipper.
Excuse mah PIGLAHWIGLAHS.
Brick Shit Moat?
Tonight for tea it is Diet Dr. Pibb, 2006 vintage, over white bread; for dinner a yam and a large bag Original Fritos.
Dessert: raw slab of pork fat with W Ketchup, America’s only ketchup, and rock salt.
really, PeeJ. That was gay.
t4toby, what else would you expect from me?
The power of Crist compels them.
Now THAT is gay.
FWIW, I’d think that a firmly hard brick wall right outside someone’s glass house would actually be a good thing, seeing as how it would protect it from thrown or falling objects.
Ruins the view, though.
One of my fave fall desserts is a french pear tart with dark chocolate on the bottom of the shell. arrange the pears on the chocolate, then fill the shell with an egg/cream custard flavored with a little poire william, and bake.
Ooh, share please!
Tomorrow’s breakfast is bologna to taste, and for lunch (if all goes according to plan) half a bottle of Italian dressing with a chaser of $2 worth of hard liquor.
Cutting chocolate cake into square pieces does not magically convert it into “brownies!”
It does if Rush Limbaugh sits on it first.
People who live in glass houses should not own trebuchets. Ivory towers, on the other hand, are fine.
Also, the only brick I care about is the brick of imitation crab I left out to dry for tomorrow’s tea.
Tonight I’m having lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce garnished with truffle paté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Cutting chocolate cake into square pieces does not magically convert it into “brownies!”
It does if Rush Limbaugh sits on it first.
Those are “crepes.”
I thought what you found attached to Big Pharma’s ass was Republican congressmen.
In other news…
As it turns out, JiSM did fuck Palin after all.
She said when she asked the McCain campaign if it would help her financially, she was told McCain’s camp would have paid all the bills if he’d won; since he lost, the vetting legal bills were her responsiblity
For some reason, I don’t believe this. Did they pass the cost of vetting any other potential candidate around?
also, $500,000 seems like too much to pay for the little amount of vetting they got.
Oh I noticed it straight away (having tried to learn the language, and my degree being in Russian History, filthy communist that I am) but you don’t want to think too deeply about the fact that The Truth seriously self identifies with Alex DeLarge… especially when you remember what he does to a Liberal and his wife in both book and film. Because whilst Burgess included that element partly as a catharsis for his own wife’s rape, and his struggles with the emotions it brought forth for a decent person in a violent, shitty world, The Truth quotes it because…. well… the nicest we can hope for is just a complete lack of any social awareness at all and he’s easily distracted by Kubrickian shinies. Hopefully.
Palin laments that she wasn’t allowed to bring up loads of family members to the stage while McCain gave his election night concession speech, the vice presidential candidate having found out minutes earlier that she wouldn’t be permitted to give her own speech.
Puh-lease! It’s still all about her, isn’t it?
She alleges that Couric and CBS left out her more “substantive” remarks and settled for “gotcha” moments.
I predict the upcoming release of some out-takes.
One of my fave fall desserts is yet another beer, at the close of dinner.
One of my fave fall desserts is yet another beer
What’s an Irish seven course dinner?
A potato and a six-pack.
also, $500,000 seems like too much to pay for the little amount of vetting they got.
I think your dog got more vetting.
~
A $500,000 for vetting Sarah Palin at that point in her life is tantamount to paying $250,000 for each event that wasn’t typical for your average community college graduate housewife.
(1) Back before she had a regular income stream from the lecture circuit,
Palin hit up her supporters for $$$ “to pay her legal bills for frivolous ethics complaints”.
(2) Someone queried why so much money was needed, and whether they can expect back any of it that wasn’t used.
(3) Palin explains that half a mill was actually reimbursement to the McCain campaign (who evidently pressed their expense claims more forcefully than the RNC did with its clothing bill).
Should we believe her? Decisions, decisions.
Q. Do the wingnuts love you?
A. Yes.
Q. Are you a vaginal-american and have PUMA appeal?
A. Yes.
Q. Will you throw around baseless incendiary charges about my opponent, stuff like “palling around with terrorists” and “not a real American”?
A. OMG! You betcha!
Done and done. Now let’s invoice half a million.
I can’t remember what this thread is about.
942th
Also, contingent fee waivers. A sign of truly ethical behaviour.
We are approaching PEAK THREAD
“The enemy of my anemone is my frond.” OK I know the fishy puns on this thread were like last week, but I was gonna post it when the trollish creatures were yelling at each other somewhere up there. Always fucking late, even on a neverending thread.
Ultimately, all threads are about POOP.
I think it has something to do with production. We must produce a 1000 comments or else. We should form a union and ask for double pay and overtime.
That “she has to pay $500,000 for being investigated” stuff seems ridiculous to me.
This thread lacks penis so, PENIS!
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/researchers-create-working-penises-for-rabbits-from-cells/article1358365/
So if she’s so dumb she signed off on being responsible for her own vetting, didn’t know who was paying for the clothes, couldn’t hack it with that Big Meany Katie Couric, and had the idea that it would be cool if the losing VP candidate got to speak on Election Night, just how good a candidate is she?
Seems like by airing all her petty grievances about how all those meanies in Big Politics and Media flimflammed her, she’s pretty much pointing out she’s not qualified.
The Fraternity of Meth-Addled Hamsters have a fair bit of clout with S,N! management, ever since their militancy during the last strike. Don’t know if they admit commentors.
I think we should seize the means of production.
Incidentally, if Iris, or fake Iris gets 1337 again – I WILL NOT BE AMUSED.
Penis Hummer!
http://www.wired.com/autopia/2009/11/dartz/
Pour souper demain nous aurons les “moon cakes” au jus.
Dessert: vinegar and Robotussin.
“Overtime”? “Unions”? For shame. As if the thrill of socialist competition and the rewards it gives the most inspiring squadrons – localvore troll, visit from chief liberal chuckle-wit Keith Olbermann, or even honor of name Sadly No Comment Section “H.L. Mencken” – were not enough.
This thread, vast as it is, has a distressing paucity of Hitler.
TITLE=”Greg Wood? Really?”>PENIS.
Did someone say poop?
http://www.bathroomjokes.com/poop/list.htm
Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don’t runie them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you’re done poopie-ing and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.
Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out
Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you’re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.
Gas-sy Poopie
The kind where it’s so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!
Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It’s most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie
That’s the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.
Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie
The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.
Upper Class Poopie
The kind of Poopie that doesn’t smell.
The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS—a Poopie!
The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
FYWP!
That “she has to pay $500,000 for being investigated” stuff seems ridiculous to me.
That’s because it isn’t true
gocart, you could’ve broken that up into separate comments and we’d be farther along.
You Can’t Get Whale-Penis Leather Seats After All
Penis Hummer bummer.
Just as a warning to y’all – I have a PENIS in moderation, which while very slightly NSFW, is not going to get cut. Thus the comment count is going to get bumped up when someone Fetches Yon Worthy Post.
Did someone say Kitler?
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl
Okay, maybe it ain’t quite as non-NSFW as I’m making it out to be:
PENIS.
This thread, vast as it is, has a distressing paucity of Hitler.
You know who else suffered from a distressing paucity of Hitler? Hitler, that’s who.
Oh, Hah! That was fast.
gocart mozart said,
November 13, 2009 at 3:02
Your post could have been broken up into more than a dozen more little postini, in order to hasten the hoped for 1000.
You can never have not enough Hitler, I always say.
really, it could have
Turtle Poopie
I thought that was a Prairie Dog.
(Yay — I got to make a contribution to this thread! And, a high-class one, too! Also.)
had you been a bit more ON THE BALL
Oh, man, pedestrian beat me to the point.
Palin and Prejean are both a couple of lying grifters and both releasing their “books” at the same time. I think a cage match might be a good promotional effort.
You know who else liked to post? Hitler! That’s who!
If the post is a-rockin don’t come knockin.
For dinner I had colcannon with sourdough bread, beer and Hitler, and apple crumble for dessert. All home made except the beer and the Hitler.
Whatever happened to Ann Coulter? Didn’t she used to write books or something?
Ann got out-extreme-mulated by the Becks and Palins of the New GOP World Order.
She’s pretty much a Liberal now.
Well, now I can’t leave till we hit the mark.
The counter will tick past 1000 and it will be great but then I will think: “Is that all there is?”
don’t harsh it for me.
How come it no longer says “you are posting too fast. slow the fuck down”
the way it used to?
All home made except the beer and the Hitler.
Do you use fresh or frozen Hitler? Fresh tastes better but goes bad fast.
The counter will tick past 1000 and it will be great but then I will think: “Is that all there is?”
Let’s break out the ‘ludes
and have a ball
If that’s all there is.
Besides, a few months from now, we’ll come back to revisit the thread and it will be loaded down with Prussian Blue comments and other nonsense.
There’s always Two Thousand.
Fresh Hitler is always better, but I like to keep a little Frozen Hitler for when unexpected guests drop by. Just season him up a little and he’l be fine.
Well, where are the Proprietors, anyway? They’ve driven us to this.
Stick with Pasteurized Hitler — if you know what’s good for you.
Just season him up a little and he’l be fine.
Pop him in the microwave on the low setting and he’s good to go!
Organic Hitler, with no pesticides.
It’s hard to get Kosher Hitler around here too.
This is like a fundraiser at an NPR station in Idaho. Come on, people! Let’s get those phones ringing! Somebody make a matching grant challenge!
Now they have a freeze-dried version – just add water.
If they stepped in with a new thread at 999 that would really suck though.
Well, if that’s not a temptation I don’t know what is.
All home made except the beer and the Hitler.
I find store-bought Hitler to be lacking in Seig Heil!
Wouldja hurry up, people? I got a long commute and I’m not shutting down till it’s there.
Now they have a freeze-dried version – just add water.
You can always use evil sauce to, you know, evil it up a little.
somebody rocks.
I just put on a party hat. So did Hitler.
1000?
MmKthxBAI
Nein!
w00t!
Huzzah to kilo g!
I got 999! I’m upside-down evil!
g rocks!
Hitler Ramen is ok, but only use a half a packet of the Hitler powder — WAY too much sodium.
Official Scorekeeper? A ruling is needed on the field…
Rats, I missed the rollover for another lame Hitler joke. I suck.
Is that all there is?
I got that comma from whoever it was upthread with the surplus of them.
Also FYWP. FYWP.
I try to get fresh Hitler when I can, but it’s getting harder and harder to find really good Hitler. I should blanch and freeze some before Hitler season is completely over; home-frozen tastes noticeably better than the industrial frozen stuff.
Never mind.
g is the winner.
But in a larger sense, haven’t we all won?
You should try Eva Braun’s, she always found Hitler fresh.
it’s getting harder and harder to find really good Hitler.
The farmed Hitler is not as tasty as the free-range, but it’s more environmentally friendly.
C’mon kids! 2000! We can do it!
but I was gonna post it when the trollish creatures were yelling at each other somewhere up there.
Do you really think there was more than one? Despite trolly’s protests to the contrary, I’d bet my bippie it was some seriously heavy sockpuppetry.
Mmmm… colcannon… uhhhh… I usually combine kale with the green cabbage when I make colcannon in the little skillet pot.
C’mon kids! 2000! We can do it!
You sir, are worse than 2000 Hitlers.
The farmed Hitler is not as tasty as the free-range, but it’s more environmentally friendly.
I thought they were kept in camps?
OK, I think I may have just gone over my Hitler joke threshold…
Crap, I actually have kale in the garden, too; I didn’t even think of that for colcannon, I usually use it for sarson ka saag. Finished fermenting a batch of curtido today, too…
So what, we hit 1000 and everyone takes off? Well then I CLAIM THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF NUDE ATHEISM.
I’m here. I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever eaten kale. One does eat it, yes? It’s not smoked or taken anally?
You all know that there will be a slew of new posts soon, and we won’t be able to keep up
One does eat it, yes? It’s not smoked or taken anally?
Depends on your religion.
Watch.
No one is going to bother picking up their trash after the fun’s all over.
~
Well then I CLAIM THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF NUDE ATHEISM.</i?
Oh yeah, well I CLAIM THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF GODLESS NATURALISM.
FY tag-mangling WP! And by WP, I mean SCUSE MAH FIN-GAHS
Now they have a freeze-dried version – just add water.
Back in the days when Ron Kierkegaard’s “Rock Opera” strip was running in Heavy Metal, one episode featured a similar plot. The resurrected Hitler had undergone personality changes subsequent to his bullet to the head, and was more interested in interior decorating than re-invading Poland.
Teh Gazoogle informs me that the Rock Opera episode for October 1981 was subtitled “The Miss Moral America Pageant”. Heh!
That should be “September 1981”.
I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever eaten kale. One does eat it, yes? It’s not smoked or taken anally?
It is nominally a vegetable, but really exists so that next time someone starts a round of grain-related puns, I can advise people to “tip the waitress and try teh kale”.
How was the firework display at #1000?
Ron Kierkegaard’s “Rock Opera”
Take me back to high school, dude.
How was the firework display at #1000?
Less disappointing than Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City.
Obviously the only way to settle this is for the forces of Nude Atheism and Godless Naturalism to prepare themselves to join battle on the field of Jello.
Nude atheism isn’t nearly as fun as Paganism. All the nekkid and twice the dancing!
Can’t we boost someone up and have them sneak through the window, and let someone in to change the thread? Does anyone know where the spare key is hidden?
the field of Jello.
The lead singer of the Dead Kennedys is a farmer now?
Pardon me for changing the subject, Libs, but remember when America was a big, bumptious nation, mostly countryside folk with some big cities to give it a little panache, and everybody was so happy to see its shiny red face come into view? No? That must have been an impression I got in school during social studies.
Anyway, my point is, penis.
Sure, that free-range Hitler sounds all environmentally friendly and shit, but they need so much Lebensraum, and you have to use so much tyrannicide to keep all the Stalins and Mussolinis down, it’s actually worse than the cage-raised Hitler.
Wow, this is actually getting a little spooky.
Gavin?
HTML?
DRMM?
Brad?
Anybody? Hello?
I know a guy who’s got a spare key. I’ve raised the Bat Signal in his direction. Let’s see if it works…
Obviously the only way to settle this is for the forces of Nude Atheism and Godless Naturalism to prepare themselves to join battle on the field of Jello.
And they told me this day would never come! They laughed at me when I stowed all those cases of gelatin and candied pinapple in my bunker, but lo, the Nude Atheist Ragnarok is at hand! Who’s laughing now, huh?
Finished fermenting a batch of curtido today, too…
Pupusas are the Jews of curtido fascism!
Wow, this is actually getting a little spooky.
The posts are coming from inside the house!
Finished fermenting a batch of curtido today, too…
Hey! I’ve got some cabbage in the fridge. Hows about a recipe?
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No one asked, but if they did, I’d recommend that Teh Sadlies “promote” one or two of the regular commenters to front-pagers.
Rusty, in the mists far above:
As long as SOMETHING gets rammed down SOMEBODY’S throat. An e
lrection’s gotta have consequencesI did that once.
Went for lunch and never came back.
LAST!!
Obviously the only way to settle this is for the forces of Nude Atheism and Godless Naturalism to prepare themselves to join battle on the field of Jello.
You know WHO ELSE held intriguing opinions and produced a newsletter?!
Take me back to high school, dude.
Comparing the records in my collection with those promoted in the music columns of early-80s Heavy Metal, I am led ineluctably to the conclusion that unbeknownst to me, I am actually Lou Stathis.
Copy-paste for g:
Curtido
1 large green cabbage, quartered, cored, and very thinly sliced
2 carrots, grated
2 medium onions, quartered and very thinly sliced (use less)
1 tablespoon dried oregano (use less)
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
2 tablespoons sea salt
If there isn’t enough liquid, add extra brine to the mixture: 1 cup water with ~1 tsp of salt
1. In a large bowl, toss the cabbage, carrots, onions, oregano, and red pepper.
2. Add the salt and continue to mix, crushing lightly with the side of a spoon to begin breaking down the vegetables. Cover loosely and let the mixture rest for 1 hour or until the vegetables have released their liquid.
3. Pack the mixture into the jars, pressing it down with the back of a spoon until it’s submerged. If necessary, make extra salt-water brine. Cover the jars loosely with their lids.
4. Leave the jars out for 3 days, checking regularly, making sure the vegetables under the brine. They will bubble a little as the fermentation begins. Cover tightly and move to a cool dark place or refrigerate.
5. Taste after 1 week of fermenting. Will keep, refrigerated, for 6 months+ Adapted from “Nourishing Traditions”
The notes in parens are mine; I don’t follow the recipe exactly and I usually halve it(though not quite halving the pepper). Use Mexican oregano if you have it.
Taste after 1 week of fermenting.
They need some kind of fermenting-microwave so we can make stuff like this and kimchi in minutes.
A 1,000 post thread is pretty goddamn bad. Probably all the other Families will line up against us. That’s all right. These things gotta happen every five years or so, ten years. Helps to get rid of the bad blood. Been ten years since the last one. You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning. Like they should have stopped Hitler at Munich, they should never let him get away with that, they was just asking for trouble.
last, I win the thread!
“Obviously the only way to settle this is for the forces of Nude Atheism and Godless Naturalism to prepare themselves to join battle on the field of Jello.
You know WHO ELSE held intriguing opinions and produced a newsletter?!”
Wow, this thread gets -much- more interesting if you skip the middle 700 posts.
Not so fast, Mr. Gocart Mozart.
**grabs Interons**
Lastity-lastest!
It’s time for someone to drive a wooden stake through this balsphemous undead thread once and for all!
Frist!
lastest of the lastest
phtphtphpttt
And FYWP
Oh no you di’n’t!
I will keep lasting this thread until it hits 2K!
LOST, LEAST, LEASED, LASHED and LAST!!!
We’ll never catch the Real Zombie Thread, I’m afraid to say.
I ain’t tired–or proud.
LAST
(/Arlo Guthrie)
Any idiot can come along and claim last post.
See?
BACK TO HELL, THOU UNHOLY UNTHREAD!
LUST!
Last post. Bookmark it, libs.
Why you incorrigible varmints!
Lastiest.
I will outlast you all!!
Shall I bookmark it?
>.>
<.<
Last!
*flees*
I have not yet begun to LAST!!
Lisztomania! Also, Industry on Parade.
LUST!
ONLY 25 MORE TO 1100!! Get on it, people!
24
Lasterier.
LOUSED!
Heh, heh, heh.
De-LOUSED.
Gott im HIMMEL this is going to take forever.
“Last lastity last for ever and infinity plus one. Die you demon thread die!” gocart yelled. (He pulls a wooden stake out and stabs thread square in the chest) “There! It is done. Finally this thread is dead. The world will suffer its indignities no more.”
(Curtain Closes)
THE END
I’m still waiting for the last shoe to drop… come to think of it, aren’t lasts a shoe-making tool? We’ll cobble together an ending to this one yet.
You gotta lotta sole there for a limpet.
The shoes are dropping,
They’re falling fast,
I’ll be a sneaker,
And come in last.
I’ll be a sneaker,
And come in last.
This is such a Cons job. Now gimme tongue…
It will not be by horse,
Nor dragged away by tractor,
I’ll be the last,
You’ll see, Actor!
Looch will leave no salad untossed
Lest the chance at last be lost
With salads tossed avec entendres double,
Subby hopes to start some trouble,
My foes are many, they be far and vast,
But with this post I shall be last.
Will Looch last to claim the ring
Of thready victory?
Or will the Throne of Fate be flushed
With Looch and poop and pee?
With this and that, and bit of scat,
Comes Subby McG the pretender.
For despite tossed pee, the last I’ll be,
Or at least in this thread, the extender.
There once was a poster called Looch
An expert at screwing the pooch
He tried to be last
But his moment had passed
And he drowned all his sorrows in hooch
Oh! Subby McG, far out to sea, drifting with no oars for your boat,
With doggy sex rhymes, and various slimes, you try to go for my throat,
But last I shall be,
A fact you’ll not see,
Being too distracted while blowing your goat.
The tape Looch would have you ignore
Features sex with a three-legged boar
It inserts gimpy stump
In where Looch takes a dump
And for sexiness that’s last for shore.
Sex with boar! He said with a roar, surely lacking aplomb.
Porcine relations! The shame of all nations! He drops the pig fucking bomb.
But again, here; last I still am,
Though completely sucked dry of jam,
After spending all day with his mom.
Limpets cling to the rock for ages.
Oh dear God!
A patellogastropod!
It will not be by horse,
Nor dragged away by tractor,
I’ll be the last,
You’ll see, Actor!
See YOU on the O’Reilly Factor before I let you get in the last word or smacker.
T’is the thread that shall not die, on and on it goes,
For how long? Well, no one knows.
Put it now, Nauts, into the past!
So that I (quite properly) can remain in last.
Our mirrors guide us to the spout of the fount
Ne’er to let this thread die
We check our gauges, kern the font
And post one last line
1100!
THIS! IS! SPARTA! (x 3 1/3)
Only 900 more to go! w00t!
Forever! Forever in time.
With postage always in rhyme,
Who shall mock us? Who shall parse us?
Oh, damn, now where’s my Thesaursus?
First they came for the giant sand spiders, and I did not speak out because I was not a giant sand spider;
Then they came for the porcupine fish, and I did not speak out because I was not a porcupine fish;
Then they came for the forest gnomes, and I did not speak out because I was not a forest gnome;
Then they came for the time wyrms, and I did not speak out because I was not a time wyrm;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Well Subby’s post provides some fodder,
Some familiar critters, then some odder.
Gnomes and wyrms and fish porcupine,
Oddest of all? Me last in line!
Oh, damn, now where’s my Thesaursus?
Perhaps you left it in the Tarsus?
Or Taurusus?
I know it’s not your dinosaurusus!
Macs rule! PeeCs drool!
Picard!
Oh, damn, now where’s my Thesaursus?
Perhaps you left it in the Tarsus?
Or Taurusus?
I know it’s not your dinosaurusus!
Pendant.
But alas, not last.
I know it’s not your dinosaurusus!
Pendant.
PEDant. As in PEdagogic, PEdantic and PEdophilic.
Also, last. Also.
**Faceplant**
I know I shouldn’t be doing this at work. Get distracted.
And, not least, but last. In addition, as well.
Also.
QED
Around my neck a stone, a heavy pendant,
Gores my glory, once resplendent,
But from the ashes, I arise anew,
To note; I’m last, and not you.
To note; I’m last, and not you.
Says who?
Not you!
You are untrue!
Look! Behind you!
My kingdom! My kingdom for a hearse!
Fill it! Fill it with this rhyming curse!
It becomes humorless, like a militant lesbian,
But I’m still last Mr. New York thespian!
You fuel! Had you not posted on the JOnah Goldberg thread I might have forgotten this!
HAHAH! LAST! AT LAST!
GET BACK TO WORK, SLACKER!
At last, Bast blessed me.
At least, comments amassed
Amazed and confused, but never harassed
Actor212 is last, last, thank god almightly he is last at last!
Go ahead! Shout your loudest, it does not matter.
Shriek mercurially, like a hatter,
You lastness lacks fastness, it’s only chatter,
You’re now the former, and I’m the latter.
You clamber up the latter as if you fight fires, and yet you go nowhere
Only my flames are strong enough to endure eternal night
Concede your loss, and last you shall not be
Yet first, you may never be.
Alast and a lack of effort shall come to no end.
This talk of the end sends me off round the bend,
As I’m compelled to end what I started.
So last once again, to the depths I ascend
With this rhyme I’ve so happily sharted.
And here comes a dark horse, acting as a spoiler…
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
But dark horses bring us remorse, remorse–
‘Cuz this is the turf of the fairer-haired steeds,
Who guard us with manly and Aryan deeds.
With more rhymes and horses light and dark,
Come the Sadlies with their snark.
On we go, words tossed half-assed,
And once again, I am in last!
Indeed you believed I was distracted
Talk of zombies and human interactions
Lest you think past
I’m still last
Back again, I come with rhymes.
Again, again. So many times!
Choose words, parse them, thread the needle,
To stand athwart this Zombie threedle.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Looch ran out of clock
Actor struck one
And then took the other one out to dinner, coming back in time to see Looch ahd tried ONCE MORE to horn in on his act.
LAST!
Actually, I’m hoping this thread takes off again because ZOMBEE THRED is boring my brains out of my ears. So, how’s every little thing?
Don’t let zrm hear that, Tig. He sometimes, you know, forgets where he is.
Every little thing?
Aw crap…I did leave my webcam on again…
I can’t imagine he’s terribly thrilled with “what’s the best way to kill zombies” or “let’s talk about the disease of zombism in painstaking detail.” Hell, ask him for the results from his last proctological exam why don’t you.
Aw crap…I did leave my webcam on again…
So THAT’S why I keep thinking about Vienna sausages! Mystery solved!
Hell, ask him for the results from his last proctological exam why don’t you.
Well, my prostate shrunk a little but I’m still on Uro…
Oh.
Off to dinner you should go!
Have some kimchee! Have some pho!
Come back anon and check this thread.
I’ll come back too, when you’re in bed!
Actor, I thought proctology was for the pooper, specifically? BTW, during one exam the husband asked why he was supposed to turn his head for the cough, and the doctor said, “so you don’t cough in my face.”
Oh Looch, it’s lunchtime you big silly.
Tig,
In order to do a digital (read: finger up the bunghole) examination of the prostate, the doctor sticks his hand in a rubber glove, extends his index finger and, well…how to describe it…goes into the only orifice even Al Bundy wouldn’t stick his finger in.
Looch,
You feeble attempts to win the day
Have only made me go astray
I’ve not taken the time to truly post
Because I can’t win by posting most.
No, I know that, but I didn’t think you went to a procto unless the gp found something worth sharing whilst spelunking? IOW, I thought they were specialists requiring a referral.
It helps when your GP IS your procto.
Oi’ve had more colonoscopies than ye’ve had hot meals, lass!
By posting most you cannot win?
I read these words with much chagrin.
By sticking to it, and not to wimp it,
We have to cede to that Bull Limpet?
Oi’ve had more colonoscopies than ye’ve had hot meals, lass!
I hope you don’t pull out THOSE albums for company. Might turn folks right off the chocolate pate with raspberry sauce you slaved over.
I’ve too, have had my bunghole probed,
With a video camera after I’d disrobed,
It’s not that bad, I didn’t complain or gripe,
Since the drugs they give you cause memory wipe.
Twas nae the probing that made me cringe
But the preparation, a drink to binge
A gallon of liquid, sickly sweet
Filled with toxins to make you neat
Aye, there’s the rub.
I hope you don’t pull out THOSE albums for company.
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo…yes.
Aye, there’s the rub.
**Golf clap**
I just wish they hadn’t put me under for the actual penetration.
One of the last things I do remember was the doctor looking at me and saying, “You probably won’t remember much of this.”
And I responded, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
He gave me a look that said he had heard that “joke” just one or two times less than the number of times he had actually done the procedure.
Oh well.
Mine last line before succumbing was, “Will you respect me afterwards?”
Not funny, but somehow it gets him everytime.
He eats, shoots and leaves!
Ah. He’s left.
Heh.
Heh, heh, heh!
Only my right has left. My left still packs an awesome punch.
Right?
Wrong.
*quietly sipping herbal tea*
Sure does get late early round here…
It’s much easier returning here endlessly than it’d be to read the newer posts and follow their comment threads. New SN routine!
Doggerel after midnight.
And how we moved through bunghole jokes!
Memory wipes and endoscopic pokes.
The last spot lingers! Oh it beckons!
Now can Actor respond in sixty seconds?
I’ll cast my critics all aside,
When these rhymes they do deride.
To them I drop my pants and give the moon,
And name this rhyme Doggerel Day Afternoon.
I figger Looch’s leaking peter
Drips out finer tighter meter.
To such a verse
I am averse
To such a verse you are averse?
Be it long or be it terse?
You kick and scream and cuss and curse?
Just consider: It could be werse.
Per verse:
I am not loath
to all things long
or which show growth
is that so wrong?
Mollusks cling steadfast,
Salt spray like wingnut spittle–
Eternal conflict.
Waiting on haiku
Terminal tread is anon
With winter it comes
Check the cadence? Counter the meter?
Oh! To be pissed on from someone’s peter!
To bring such bile in a modest couplet?
I dare you, dare you to try and double it.
Feck. “Count”
Cocked, locked and ready to rock
Got a good night’s sleep, and pulled up my sock
So all you posers can go away and turn the lock
And Looch? You can suck my…Shaaaaaaaaaaaaving cream! Be nice and clean! Shave every day and you’ll always look keen….
Myanmar Shave!
There’s something missing from this threedle.
But it’s not for me to whine or wheedle.
I call no foul, I won’t demean us.
But this thread needs some POOP and PENIS!
My rap fu makes you weep
Your rap fu makes me creep
OG rappers got the flow
NG rappers got no go
LAST to yo mutha.
Ol’ man rapper he comes a’callin’
Representin’ he’s doin’ some ballin’
Ain’t got no reason, ain’t got no ryhme
Just lookin’ at me bein’ last this time.
I’m colder than a Dairy Queen Blizzard,
This is Lord of the Rings, you’re the hobbit, I’m the wizard
Last, past, not too fast
Don’t make me kick you in tha….SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAVING CREAM…
Every time I read the word “hobbit,”
I think of that fella John Wayne Bobbit.
He got hisself cut for misbehavin’
Lorena used a razor but not for shavin’.
Yo yo, homie-o, why you wanna diss me so?
You saying my flow ain’t fierce?
I say you need yo nipple pierced!
You wanna run wif dis Big Dog
You need to buy yourself a bigger log!
LAST!
Oh, it’s a Big Dog, talkin’ bout wood!
Playin’ wid the rhymes- as if he could!
Just don’t matter ’bout the words he’s amassed,
I’m still dealin’ just a’sittin’ in… last.
Looch, Looch, just a mooch
Sittin in the cafe, sipping hooch
Never met the Big Dog, a’ight?
Never ever gone be polite
LAST!
Not hanging out sippin hooch or a watchin’ a bar Teevee
Just making the most of my unemployment “opportunity”
Keepin’ up with me may make you spaz and jerk,
Cause, face it, at some point, you gotta work.
I gotta job and it pays well
Keeps in beer and that is swell
Folks like you, pimpin and hoe-ing
Gotta worry where da welfare goin’
LAST!
Imma glad you got a job and you can buy yo beer,
And I sure do wish I could report the same from here.
I’ll keep grinding away, ‘ere this has passed.
Enjoy your beer, but I’m now last.
Forty forties lined on a wall
Looch trying ta drink them all
He ain’t got stroke, ain’t got flow
And now, he ain’t last at all…
“THEY ATE HOLES IN THAT HOUSE!” screamed the beer-drinking louse,
As he scanned the abode of the Martins.
Of those holes he should not worry, here he should scurry,
As I’m last with this latest of fartin’s.
(Still working on my first-ever sonnet)
–Also the LAST EVAH!
Ah, write that first sonnet, topped with a bow or a bonnet,
And then with pedants you’ll be engaged,
With barbs they will want it, and pee down upon it,
And with that you’ll be a Bull Limpet, Enraged.
Love is sweet,
Life is short
Actor212
Will not abort
LAST!
Back into the word larder I do delve!
To flay some player from two-twelve.
He’ll flag soon, I hear him gassed.
I’ll sit quietly, alone in last.
YOu might think that rat droppings
And POD books
Would distract me from my task
But I’m here to show you
To reassure you
That I will be the last.
It’s fiiiiiive o’clock on a Fri-i-day
Regular crowd shambles by
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Wishing that he could be very last…
Since you two keep posting on the thread o’ doom,
Here’s some advice, “Go get a room!”
Not a room, but a dojo or a ring,
With turnbuckles, and canvas that rubs to a sting.
With atomic bun drops, and forearms fast,
I will lift the belt emblazoned ” Last.”
I find bad bun droppage is best corrected with an underwire snood.
Oh! For tresses sprouting or just grew’d,
To have them auburn or henna-hued.
But on the past I cannot brood,
And think upon a once-filled snood.
Gosh darn it, sonnets are harder than I thought. Surely I’m not the first poetaster wannabe to discover that brutal truthe… nor the LAST!
There once was a Sadly, No thread,
Which dragged on ’till up I was fed.
But hope springs eternal,
That by season vernal,
This thread will be def’nitely dead!
And now a verse from the patellogastropod,
It is a initial effort I do laud,
But move on over, now c’mon, skootch!
And make some room in last for Looch.
Ach! Now I see there’s a missing “n.”
How’d I lose it? I know not when.
I await the pedants, an eminence grise,
In their garb as word police.
Weekend’s over.
Now back to work….
AT LAST!
Finally.
Refreshed for the week. Ready to take the last piece of thread.
Huh? What was that you said?
The last bit, the final ort of thread?
You shall claim it, raise it past thy head?
I think not, as I am last comma dead.
Comma dead. Period bleed.
Last.
Yeah, yeah. You left the other thread and forgot your troll. Could you please go get him?
1200. And all is well.
I didn’t forget my troll. I left him there to die….LAST!
Just don’t bring him over here, ‘K?
Aaannndd…mostest last!
I may have to drag his carcass here to freshen the joint up a bit.
Make sure you tell ZRM.
1204! I know we can get 96 more comments by *mumble mumble*! Do it for Hitler!
Hey hey, wuzzup libs! Da Kool Cloaca here, telling you loony libs dat da Actorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr will be last!
It is my special density to be LAST.
One entry ’till we’ll be exiled,
From frontpage to losers reviled.
If I can be last,
I say, so AVAST!
Eh, limpets are widely reviled…
…and we’re used to it.
Oops, should know better than to hit send in the late-night throes of beervana before carefully reviewing the submission for redundant revileds.
Defiled? Beguiled? Embiled? Whatever. POST-PENULTIMATE
Feels like the last time…..
It’s turkey time! No time to fast!
Heaps of food have been amassed!
Sit down, relax, enjoy this fine repast!
And know, again, I am in last!
How sharper than a serpent’s tongue
Is Actor212 shouting “LAST!”?
I watch the scroll bubble as it ever rises,
Surrounding all the comments this thread comprises,
Up it goes, I cannot grab it.
And I’m still last, you scwewy wabbit!
Happy Thanksgiving, Looch, to you and yours. May this not be your….LAST!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!
Likewise.
And it’s not…my last.
I’m a loser baby, so why don’tcha AARRRGHHH….
You guys are really immature about this whole last thing. Just sayin’.
I got my mind set on lassssssst, I got my mind set on last.
OK, what are the respective ages of the few juvenile die-hards here? I was born in the Year of the Rat sometime around late-mid 20th Century, and consume a very healthful diet for the most part: lots of home-grown organic veggies, very little meat, and I follow a regular exercise program. No pre-existing chronic medical conditions, and a generally favorable family health history.
In short, I’m looking long-haul… Y’all?
Here in the nursing home (“Flammable Acres”) I don’t have much to do. Until now. Is that clear, oh Angry Sticky One?
L is for the way you look at me
A is for that Absolute last, I’ll be
S is for the very very scintillating
T is for the Thought that I’ve beat you all before…
Y’know, some interesting research has been done into juxtabranchial organ secretions in the higher mollusks. The JB organs apparently play a key role in the mollusks’ remarkable tenacity at clinging to rocks and stale threads.
Fa la la la la, la la la, LAST!
(Insert puerile comment here)
As for you other developmentally impaired losers: I’m currently instructing my three-to-five-year-old nieces and nephews about multi-generational S,N! commentary.
**Stretch**
Another dawn, another day at the Old Same Place. Not much happens around Flammable Acres, not much at all. Nosireebob. But last night was nice. They lit up the pond. Flames as high as trees, I tell ya. Yep. Last. Night.
I’m currently instructing my three-to-five-year-old nieces and nephews about multi-generational S,N! commentary.
Fuck that, I’ve uploaded my DNA sample to the Whitehead Institute at MIT to create clones of me that will have the same staying power and obnoxious attitude.
LAST
Drop your lasts between the minarets…
**whistling**
**Shakes spray can**
Sssss
Ssss-ssss-ss
Sssssss
Sss-sss.
L A S T
*scrubscrubscrub*
There….much better.
Hey!
That was art!
It was supposed to…..
…last.
Hah! Feeble DNA and its progressive clonal deterioration… I’m at work on an army of self-replicating, unintelligent machines which will be launched into space and electronically beam randomly generated quips at S,N! until the day Sol swallows the Earth.
What I’m reading:
“Community stability: effects of limpet removal and reintroduction in a rocky intertidal community ”
Interesting.
Community stability: effects of limpet removal and reintroduction in a rocky intertidal community
Well, I’ll be a son of a gnarly barnacle: that’s for real. Despite my proclaimed heritage I’m not too well-read in limpet literature. But “rocky intertidal community” is a fair metaphorical description for SN, innit?
(Checking tide charts for the library’s locale)
Management and Risk Assessment of Sabellid Polychaete Infestations in Abalone Mariculture Facilities
Ah, the power of a humble worm. Who’d a thunk it?
I’m at work on an army of self-replicating, unintelligent machines which will be launched into space and electronically beam randomly generated quips at S,N! until the day Sol swallows the Earth.
HAH!
Transitory techonological devices that will over time breakdown and warp their objective.
*I* plan on suspending myself interuniversally between two branes that will undulate…mmmmm, love saying that word…periodically into this universe, thus guaranteeing both point AND purpose that willl…..
….LAST!
Management and Risk Assessment of Sabellid Polychaete Infestations in Abalone Mariculture Facilities
I do that whenever I get to the bottom of a bottle of anejo.
That’s not a worm.
It’s Krauthammer’s penis?
No, no. Too big. And much too alive.
A bah bah bah bahbahbahLAST
A bah bah bah, bahbahbah…
Aaaaah laastiiieeeer, ah laastiiiieeeer….
Bah bah bah, bahbahbah….
Lastest lustest mostest mustest!
I love Sadly, No! and the convenient backstage where I can change costumes…
I know, it’s so private! Little to the left… little more… perfect.
**bustlebustle*
**checks mirror**
It’s always so hard to one’s costume just so.
The cape is always troublesome, but there, it’s perfect now. And the utility belt is quite slimming.
Ta-da!
Captain Last!
For great justice!
I wonder when this thread will make it to page LAST!
*changing costumes*
Quick change once more
**rummagerummage**
**click**
No, that’s not it.
**click**
Damn it. That’s not it!
**Click**
Shit! Too many pockets in this damn utility belt.
**Click**
Aha! There it is!
**Sssssssssssssssssss**
Lasting gas!
OK, I’ll just sit here and wait.
I’ll be here until my calcified shell is geologically lofted to the pinnacles of the Himalayans. Or whatever mountain range holds the record by then…
Heh. Looks like I’m the last limpet standing, LOOSER MORANS!
Last-iddly-doo!
*quickly tossing off hip waders and raincoat*
*quickly tossing off hip waders and raincoat*
Kinda cold for that.
last limpet standing
Limpets stand? How can you tell?
Limpets got legs!
Clumsy Carp discovered that thousands of years ago.
Don’t be koi, limpet.
LAST!
Ain’t too proud to beg, please just leave me, let me be LAST
*slipping out of Borg costume*
*slipping BACK out of Borg costume*
Assimilate this!
Assimilate this, assimilate that
Assimilate my LAST!
You folks are really, really immature. I mean, really.
*going for the backstage coffee pot*
Morning, all! May it not be our LAST!
Laƒt.
Teƒting, teƒting, 1, 2, LAƒT!
Damn you, Looch!
You baƒtard!
**whistling innocently**
Laƒtier.
Laƒteƒt!
It’ƒ ƒpreading!
Wow, the tideline’s much lower than I expected. What are you, a buncha fiddler crabs with that f-hole glyph?
Let is laƒt, let it laƒt, let it LAƒT!
Wow. That laƒted to Monday?
*slipping out of period garb*
I know I’m immature
But I don’t mind it
That’s how I want to be
As long as you agree
To stay immature with me
I have a new ƒtrategy. Which will guarantee laƒt.
Juƒt ƒayin’.
It waƒ ƒun while it LAƒTed.
As long as you agree
To stay immature with me
The depthƒ of my immaturity know no boundƒ.
I could laƒt forever.
I could be last all night,
I could be last all night,
And still be primed for more.
I love to spread my wings,
And quip a thousand things
I’ve never quipped before.
I’ll never know what makes it so exciting.
Why all at once my heart took flight.
I only know when we
Began to comment free,
I could be last, last, laaaaaast– all night!
Oops, sorry to scare you– forgot I was on my sis’s computer. LAST
Scare me?
Ha!
Two words:
Fish ƒtickƒ!
**Tiptoes in**
**Looks around**
Good. Everything is the way I left it.
At last.
You’ll be laƒt when monkeyƒ fly outta my butt.
LAƒT, Dammet!
The monkeyƒ thing: is that a holiday special event dealio?
If ƒo, Happy Chriƒtmaƒ (or whatever version of ƒolƒtice celebration you purƒue).
You too, Limpet.
Hah! Loochie the Moocher luƒtƒ for laƒt on Chriƒtmas eve, but no freekin’ way will thiƒ agreƒƒion ƒtand, deƒpite hiƒ mild conciliatory geƒture toward my better holiday inƒtinctƒ.
Let’ƒ juƒt hope that thiƒ annoying “ƒ” fad dieƒ out by early next year– I found it rather annoying from the ƒtart, but you trifling whekƒ gave me no choice but to miƒƒpell “reƒiprocate.”
Miƒƒpelling duly noted.
.
You know, there are a couple of threads next door (on either side of this one) that are just covered in algae. Just a heads up, there, gastropod.
Heh. I have sent the gastropod off to greener pastures.
Hey Actor, there’s a 20-something down a few threads that swears that all she needs is an older thespian to buy her a couple of Appletinis and she is good to go (I think she said “thespian,” anyway). You should definitely check. She might not, um….
….last.
HO HO HO! Merrrrry ChristLAƒT!
He who laughƒ laƒt laughƒ….
…LAƒT!
Laƒtafraƒƒ!
This is becoming the Donner Party of threads. Last means something.
Have a Happy New Year, all.
May it not be our….LAƒT!
2009 iƒ so laƒt.
So all know, I have a pathetic, non-eventful New Years Eve planned. I’ll be here (on and off) all night. To the last, as it were.
And the time stamps are interesting. 4:19 on my computer and cell and 23:04 on SN.
Meaning, to be last this year, I need to…
Very close. I have to go out now. Perhaps last for the aughts?
FYWP. Last of the year, first of the new decade. First and Last (and double posting to boot).
Happy exclamations and so on and so forth to all. Looking forward to a better year and decade. Better than the last, anyway.
**whistling with certitude in his unsurpassed immaturity**
Hardy har har, Looch the Looser. I have loosened your goose by being last, last, LAST for 2009! Here I sit on the rocky shores of the Pacific Northwest, and only the vast blue Pacific with its few pathetic isles stand between my triumphant magnificence and the International Date Line.
Still about ten minutes to go in this time zone, and it doesn’t count as a last if you try to count coup from points eastward. You MUST be in a zone which still lies in the last decade to earn my capitulation. BWAH HAH HAH
Two words mono-foot:
“Time stamp.”
“Time stamp?” My jackbooted mono-foot stomps your feeble time stamp into drifting silt. What matter such cilium-splitting technicalities?
While these two wrestle in the muck and mire, I stand athwart the cliffs shouting, “LAƒT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Heh. Those formerly lofty cliffs will crash into the sea after being steadfastly eroded by my hard-shelled brethren and I.
@ m0n0fut: ur dreemn i haz nightmare 4 u coz now laƒt
@act0r:clff notes upd8t: i m laƒteƒt n u r loozer LOL
@Loose-h I win, kthxbai LAƒT!
*stripping off primer of @*
Damn @ is sticky.
@actor moar stcky thn u n u now c me laƒt 1 maor tym sux2bu kbai
A recherche mon nom de plume
@Loochebag LAƒT Aƒƒ ƒHALL BE MINE!
Looch @m0m lookit me top uv wrld!
m0m @ Looch no u r laƒt! LOL luzer
Looch @m0m luv u 2 u ol b4g
I’ll be back tomorrow with a long-form LAST in reaction to this juvenile, post-literate trend.
Post literate? Yes.
Juvenile? Of course!
**whistling**
**Looks around**
Looch @Actor u c m0n0fut rnd @ all? lng 4m p0zr n algy hed LOL
1,321st and Lst.
My dog ate the long-form offering.
My dog ate the long-form offering.
Really?
So a limpet’s dog would be a…
…diatom?
This limpet’s dog is named “Seadogbiscuit.” The goddam diatoms ain’t got nothing to do with it! They’re nothing but an irritant.
I dropped by just to say “Not so fast!”
Neither Looch nor Actor can claim “Last!”
Neither Looch nor Actor can claim “Last!”
Yeah, well ol’ Monofoot’s gonna have a say in that, I suspect. Annoyingly persistent little sticker. And I am wondering if you can winning the batting title with such a low number of plate appearances. Juƒt ƒayin’.
Heh. Read the whole thread.
La-La-La-La-La-LAST!
*shaking off VBen costume*
YOU!?
Stop looking at me!
You insidious bastards! Ultimate triumph may be harder to achieve than I’d anticipated, but we limpets are built to… LAST!
Um, great. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Etc.
I wish I could get paid for doing this. It be a great job. And probably my…last.
Here’s yer layoff slip, Loochie the Nearly-LAST.
Here’s yer layoff slip, Loochie the Nearly-LAST.
Those I got.
And last. I got that, too, monoped.
Powered by Kleen Koal am I, and thus forever will I Last.
Well, maybe, algae-sifter. But I got not much else to do but go and flag bogus ads on Craigslist (asshole affiliate spammers) and come here. That and reading “sorry we liked your resume but one of the other 134 applicants to this job was a superior candidate” letters. You can run on Kleen Koal, I’ll be powered by spite and annoyance. I’m gonna win. And come in Last.
Too bad, so sad, you’re not LAST!
Looch, got ya beat there: I’ve been job hunting since 1983. And on every audition except this one, Actor will surely get called… LAST!
As an actor, I’d prefer to be LAST because it means I won the job.
Two years before the last!
You will serve a hundred years on the Flying Dutchman before my LAST last last.
This economy’s so bad that even Jimmy Choo is down to his last last.
Hope he can make that last last last…
It’s a new month. In a (relatively) new year. And I think this is going to be a btter year than the …
… last.
Yes, but as I said to the shoe man, he who lasts last, lasts last!
Well, now you’re ahead of me in the line. I’m last. Lastier. Lastest.
“Last”…You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
It means…last.
Was that good for you?
Looch, is a “btter year” a bitter year or a better year? I’m hoping for sweetness and light that will truly… well, you-know-what.
–And no fair invoking butter or steroid-enhanced batters in response.
I make pancakes with steroid enhanced butter.
This way, they LAST
Gah. “Better.” I think. I hope.
Hope springs eternal, no? It’s a persistent thing.
You know. It lasts. It has lastiness. And is lastier.
I’m here to kick LAST and chew bubble gum.
And I’m all out of bubble gum.
Oak-smayed ot-pay for the first time in ears-yay tonight, and a surge of confidence in the slackerly *rightness* of my life-course has resulted. Good luck outlasting me, you hapless lastards.
**Saunters in, whistling**
**Pours cup of coffee**
**Looks around while sipping same**
Morning all. Yep, it’s the morning last. Talk in a bit. Meeting at 1, right?
Hm. One smokes pot, the other sucks java.
I ought to be a shoo-in for LAST
*scraping muck off*
Huh. You guys skipped the meeting?
Didn’t miss much. It didn’t last long at all.
There are donuts in the lunch room. Just don’t take the…
…last. ‘K?
Meeting? We had a meeting? I never got the memo. Was it issued in triplicate?
I usually get the copy….LAST
Yep. A meeting. With sammiches, too. Since you weren’t there we all had extra. And cookies. I had the last one. The one that wasn’t yours.
Well, I hope it was good enough because it’s your LAST
Actually, I stuck one in my pocket for later.
As in after.
Or subsequent.
Chronologically further along.
Leading up to…last.
‘Kay, it didn’t lead to harder stuff so I’m back in last place.
You’re up ^ there.
I’m down here.
In last.
We’re supposed to get a big snowstorm this evening into tomorrow.
For my part, I hope it LASTs.
And it looks like it WILL LAST! We’re having a snowgasm.
I’m delicately plucking bright camellia blossoms to adorn the dining table this evening. Our Daphne odora is approaching full bloom, and its swooningly sweet fragrance will soon fill the room.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, severe winter weather tends to fall either early or late: November/Decemberish, or January/Februaryish. We dispensed with the severe stuff in December this time, so it’s all about early blooms and seasonal triumphalism now.
Wish it could last…
Our Daphne odora is approaching full bloom
She’s a wrestler with TNA.
Always comes in LAST
We missed the big ol’ Snowgasm. We got a light dusting. But it’s melting and won’t.
You know. No persistence. No durability. The snow just won’t…
…………….last.
*dismounting Trigger*
May this Valentine’s Day not be your LAST
Things seem to be slowing down here at The Old Same Place. I suppose since I’m last out of here, I should turn off the lights.
**click**
*pfffffffffffffffffffft*
Ah, there’s the candle, and my cobbler’s stand! I must go fix my LAST
It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the cream of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival
And the LAST known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he’s watchin’ us all in the eye of the tiger
You guys still at it?
We’ll keep at it until I’m the LAST man standing, B^4
Almost had a life for a week or two there, but the dismal winter rains are predicted to return shortly. Hope they don’t LAST too long, and that an early spring springs LASTINGLY this year.
The first of my crocuses are coming up at LAST
Heh. Daffodils here now, at long LAST.
I can’t wait for diving season, so I can rip you off the piers to the very LAST of your pseudopodia.
*removing three piece suit*
*showering with bleach*
*gloating while the gloating’s good*
Mickey Klaus? Is that you? At LAST!
*dropping off cane for later use*
Well, the job situation is looking up. Part-time work at a small, progressive consultancy.
At last.
Poor Looch. Less LAST for him!
Er, you are a him, right? MorF?
*getting off of alpaca*
*slipping off Kaustume*
Look out, there are llamas!
FINIS
Would that this Spring-like weather LASTS.
*shedding lutefisk*
Actor, the scales are falling from your eyes at LAST!
And yet, to the LAST, I am a Finn
*shedding more scales*
I must be Pisces.
Sure is empty round these parts…
How you bruthas doin’?
Well, a little birdie reminded me. I have something to do. Looch is nothing, if not persistent and infantile, he is.
Yea, except I kicked your LASST
Infantile-est and LASTEST!
Crickets? Could this be the end at LAST?
Wow, what a day: I dug an incredibly deep grave for an eighty-pound dog, split half a cord of oak firewood, provided running bereavement counseling for the SO, then prepared a sumptuous dinner of chicken mole with coconut milk — that’s mole-AY; too weary right now to look up the Mac accent code — anyway, mole-ay accompanied with braised chard fresh from the garden and Spanish rice. The rice was made with tomato sauce canned last fall from the home plot, and at this point I’m about ready to dig a hole for myself as well and call it a life.
It was nice while it lasted…
*sipping herbal tea quietly*
Huh?
Last, you say?
*stripping off uniform*
then prepared a sumptuous dinner of chicken mole with coconut milk
Mole poblano, pipian mole, or star nosed mole?
Damn you, bastard! I acknowledged the freakin’ lack of a diacritical mark!
I used jarred mole-ay paste that a Mexican friend brought from Veracruz. Pumped that up with a bit of chipotle powder and a dash or two of other extra spices… serious yums. Don’t know why I hadn’t thought of integrating coconut milk into a mole-ay before; it’s a great match.
ABCTajpu. Handy!
WTF? We have a sudden influx of S,N! regulars who’ve been MIA on this decrepit thread for the past few interminable months?
Sorry, doods: your stripes must be earned in the lean times.
I agree with the monopedal algae sifter. You Johnny-come-latelies don’t get to sashay in here for the last. No way.
I do.
After you, Loochie-poo.
No no, Limpie…after YOU! After all, beauty first, age LAST!
*slipping off Alpha Beta jacket*
Sure is quiet in here. Perhaps it will LAST
*unredding neck*
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Book
mark
this,
libs.
Consider it bookmarked Finally, Definitively, Conclusively, Ultimately, and LASTINGLY.
And in the end… the last you take, is equal to the laaaast… you make.
Ah, Daylight savings time. I guess some folks didn’t set their clocks forward.
So, Monoped, my condolences on the dawg. Went through that x2 last fall with the Tart, these were her companions for 14 years. Dug holes as well.
From the wood splittin’ and the canning I’m thinking farm life. Not a bad way to exist these days.
You raising algae?
Would this be a lasting last?
No farm, just a third of an acre at the confluence of a creek and a small river, about fifteen miles from the region’s major city center. Veggie garden about six hundred square feet here at home, with another 20×20 community garden plot about two miles away where there’s more direct sun. Also fixin’ to get three or four laying chickens this spring.
Wood’s mostly freebies, ‘ceptin’ the work of splitting. Lots of folks gladly give away the cut rounds when trees are removed or cut back severely (Craigslist, sssshhhhh) and so far there’s been no need to acquire a chainsaw. This week was unusual in that we hired experienced chainsaw jocks to remove two home-turf trees with dangerous issues and cut back a couple of others. So for once, I was splitting self-raised wood.
I’ll always have to spend a bit on fossil fuels in order to haul in more. If we relied on our own trees every year, the wood wouldn’t last.
*hooking thumbs in my suspenders*
Whatta you young’ins talking about? *spit*
*adjusting John Deere cap*
When I was a-raising crops, I’d be up an’ out by four AM, an’ back home at seven, juss in time for the little woman to make me a hearty homecooked meal, and then it was off to bed, for some sleepin’ and some lovin’.
And that has to LAST
Stihl last!
*Stepping out of blackface*
Sorry, Deere…Ah’m LAST
*slipping off billionaire cloak*
*slipping out of python*
A bi-colored python rock snake, perchanser? Don’t anther…
*sliding out of square root*
The LAST panther, anther.
*getting out of 18th Century French queen garb*
*wipe dead newscaster make up off face*
Actor, you don’t get extra discredit for closely spaced consecutive entries, y’know.
–But I do, lastingly.
*dropping Cherman accent*
I wouldn’t want you to feel last out, Limp.
*replacing glacier*
*shedding liberal white guilt*
*sloughing off Palpatine makeup*
*slipping off big butt*
*losing my religion*
*losing my Objectivism*
*returning to objective reality*
Ah, yes, so-called *air quotes* objective reality. */air quotes*
Where you stand all depends on where you sit.
**Pulls out chair**
I sit last.
*putting down speculum*
Here I sit all brokenhearted
Came to shit but only LASTED
*pantpantpant*
Bastard. *pant*
In front of the whole world. *pant*
Well, I guess I’ve just pantsed you, then, eh?
That should last.
Been offline for a few days, with the 7-y/o Mac in the shop.
Apple covered all parts and labor: not bad for an archaic machine long past its warranty period.
Nice to be back at last…
Been offline for a few days, with the 7-y/o Mac in the shop.
Apple covered all parts and labor: not bad for an archaic machine long past its warranty period.
Nice cover story. You’ve been gone a week ’cause you moved–three inches to the south.
Now where was I? Oh, yes, of course.
Last.
Been offline for a few days, with the 7-y/o Mac in the shop.
Unpossible! Those things are built to…..LAST
Pass the dutchie from the LAST hand side…
*slipping out of British Dental Service undercover*
–Bicycle Repair Man??? AT LAST!
My sister was killed by a MØØse. LAST is a trigger for me.
*dropping cannibalist tendencies*
*dropping cannibalist tendencies*
…also.
*Resuming cannabis tendencies*
*Resuming cannabistic tendencies*
…Like, also, dood. Or whatever; it’s all good.
Peace will eventually come to this tattered thread, once you other losers have finally surrendered. AVAST!
Never retreat! Never surrender! Always LAST!
*slipping out of house apron*
*clang*
*Bong*
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end? Did the rest of youse take dignity pills or sumptin’?
*undergoing mammalian conversion*
*dropping stethoscope*
Actor, where exactly do you live? I think a meatspace duel is in order at last.
I am…in…the Big City.
You?
–Me? I’m crawling east-northeastward with a knife clutched in my teeth. It’s only a couple thousand miles, so I’ll be slicing your gizzard in 2012 or so if I can physically last.
*Whistling*
Dooods!
Pacing myself. Want to last.
So a limpet has to travel several thousand miles for a mano a clam-o face-off while averaging, what, 4 inches a day? Help with the math here, Actor, you have more fingers and toes than most of us. What, about 2096, say May, arrival date?
He might win, you know. Being the last clam standing.
One one foot, of course.
But last.
Damn you, Looch! Now I have to decide whether to detour and finish you off on the way to Bad Actor’s… where’s your infernal roost?
Come on, baby! I got until Dec 12, 2012, at which point, we’re all hosed.
But I’ll make sure, DAMN sure, I’m LAST here.
Help with the math here, Actor
Well, assuming a limpet moves at roughly a foot a week and factoring in the velocity of a laden African swallow, I figure sometime in Eleventymillion.
*shedding Palinisms*
How do you know so much about swallows, Actor?
Of limpets, you know naught. Supercalifragilisticexpealidociolastest!
Last one out, turn the lights off, ya hear?
My moobs are sore, sir William. At LAST
Turn the lights off, BBB? This incandescent thread’s fiery light will flicker until the limpet stands triumphant– at last.
Actor, have you tried Bag Balm?
BBBB, I dropped a B up there– all apologies. But in your dotage, perhaps you should try Bag Balm as well: BB for BBBB.
Now get laost, and stay laost.
You din’t just call B^4 the Better Business Bureau, did you, Clampett?
LAST
Nope.
Well, then perhaps you should have and they could have told you, at LAST
This thread has taught me everything I know about industry. Heavy, man– and built to last.
Shoes for industry!
And all shoes have LASTS!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA *koffkoffkoffWHEEZE* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Y’know, I’m finally starting to get about half tired of these flying elbows.
Probably just a phase, though– surely it won’t last.
Half tired?
I’ll have to throw them harder, make them LAST
Hah! My new Kevlar vest parries your bony elbows with effortless ease.
Lastafarians endure!
Yea, well my diamond panties make your Kevlar Crunch.
LAST RIGHTS!
My titanium-toed jackboots kick your last to the curb.
*Yawn*
Titanium?
HAH!
Lemme just get this blow torch out…
LAST!
Just upgraded to a high-tech ceramic, Actor. Do your worst as usual…
*getting plasma torch*
This won’t hurt a bit, until the LAST…
*putting down lamp, taking off toga*
Oh shit! I’m naked! Well, since I’m all alone here, not so bad…
Turnoutthelights! TurnOUTthelights!
*click*
Whew. Better.
Hey Actor, your toga’s over here!
And put DOWN that plasma torch! That thing could leave a mark.
You know, one that would…last.
It will take a while for the torch to cool off and you wouldn’t want me to leave it for….LAST
Just here chillin’…
Too bad that won’t LAST
*returning from the Dark Side, with cookies*
COOKIE! Nnnuumm-nummmm-gnash-num-nummm *burp*
*slipping out of ticklefight costume*
Did you want one more? It’s my….LAST
It’s my….LAST
About time.
Say goodnight, Gracie.
Say goodnight, Gracie.
Wore her out, huh?
Well, that didn’t….LAST
Did so!
Did not LAST!
Hmmm. 1499. And Last.
And 1500. What I win?
Hello?
I have ridden the length and breadth of the land, only to arrive LAST.
Now stand aside, worthy adversaries.
Victory is mine at last.
Outlasting the last LAST lasted.
By the way, 1504 was a great year. 1500 not so much.
I dunno, last time I opened a 1504 it tasted pretty much over the hill.
*dropping drumsticks*
Wha??????
Hey! LAST here!
Well, I guess we can tell who reads the comments via an RSS reader, eh?
ps: LAST BIZNITCHEZ!
JUST SECURED A STEADY SUPPLY OF FRESH PINEAL GLANDS. THIS SOURCE WILL LAST INDEFINITELY, AND THUS SO WILL I.
*shedding corporatocracy*
And I don’t use a RSS reader, that would be CHEATING! And at LAST I will never do that!
*aging gracefully*
SAY GOODNIGHT AGAIN GRACIE, BUT LOUDER THIS TIME.
PERHAPS I CAN MAKE IT WORSE BY SHOUTING A LOT?
Pipe down, wouldja? You’ll wake up Actor from his nap. And you know how cranky that makes him.
Kingubu? Wha’s he(?) doin’ here?
Actor seems to have plenty of nappy-time right now. Let’s hope that those sweet dreams last…
Nap time? HAH!
I just made sex LAST all weekend.
Hmmm.
I thought that said:
“I just made LAST sex all weekend.”
That would be sad, being your last, and all.
What’s a weekend?
A weekend? Well, that’s where you work for day upon day upon day until AT LAST you get a few days off to recharge your batteries.
You have to make them LAST
Are we at 10,000 yet?
Let’s get all huggy and go for it.
It will help us last.
1520.
But definitely not LAST
Fo’ sho’.
I am here again, at LAST
And again, for the LAST
Oi’ll be back…
Yea, you’ll be Bach. And I’ll be Beethoven’s LAST
*divorcing DKWs mom*
Choke-gag-blaargh
Excuse me, is the the room for an argument?
Not just some banter but one that will last?
Is it? At last?
Oh, Monoped, if you are anywhere near the gulf coast, you might to get on it. You know, “Foot, don’t fail me now!”
Underwater oil plumes. Yikes, that’s gonna last.
I know, Loochie. I’m evolving as fast as I can, but if this forum’s any indication of future prospects, it spells DOOM.
*taking off alien make up*
Miss me? Cuz, you know, this isn’t the LAST time I’ll be here.
*leaving rehab*
Time for your LAST relapse, actor.
I’m NOT Lindsay Lohan and STOP judging me just because she’s carrying my baby. That’s the LAST I want to hear of it!
She’s gonna drop that baby (from her arms). She’s a little unsteady. I wonder how long she’ll LAST?
Octolast! Octolast! Octolast! Octolast! Octolast! Octolast! Octolast! Octolast!
MEGALAST-oes, my friends!
Are megalastoes related to mangoes? If so, I’ll be the LAST to walk the gangplank.
MegaLASToes were dinosaurs found in the Cretinous Period. You remember that, right? Dinosaurs were found in three periods: The Cretinous, The Jurassic, and Ann Coulter.
That LAST was a bitch.
*shaving mohawk*
Last of the Mohicans
*discarding Derbyshire recommendation*
Mohican? Me no Mohican. Me ALASTkan.
Got you beat again there, Actor. Born in Anchorage, lived on the far-flung tundra ’till age 18. You haven’t lived until you’ve outlasted an arctic winter.
ALEUT…OOT…OOT…OOT-OOT
Actor and Looch have apparently embarked on an ice floe at last.
You haven’t lived until you’ve outlasted an arctic winter.
Hi, Viking here. Your “winters” are my summer.
And we make them LAST
Norsesense.
–Or should it be Norsense?
Yep, concision tends to last.
Oh ho ho Mr. Vikingpants. I wonder how long Mr. Farvree is going to last, hmmm?
What?
Oh, right, LAST.
Hmmm, a nine-day gap between Loochie’s last two pathetic bleats? Time to elevate your game dude, or you’ll never last.
This is a terminal thread, and it’s gonna get grim.
This is a terminal thread, and it’s gonna get grim.
The race will not go to he who is fleetest of (single) foot but he who LASTS.
Bleats, eh?
We’ll see about that, algae sifter.
Out in the ocean wide and vast,
There lies a starfish’s next repast.
Not tricky,
Just sticky.
And and not destined to (ever be) last.
But as the oiled surf fouls the land,
This limpet makes a steadfast stand.
He’ll beat the tide,
And long abide…
To last and carry on the brand.
O, Athenians! You are a great and good people!
And yet, the Spartans arrive anon!
And I? I shall be LAST
O, LimpSlug! O, Louche!
Why art thou silent in the face of my massive LAST attack?
Sorry, Actor: had a bit of realifetik to attend to the last few days.
Now that that’s blown over, I’d like to express my deep appreciation for you other developmentally disabled die-hards: in the first flush of discovering SN’s warped glory, I’d participate eagerly in the frenzied scrum of current entries. But this quaint and curious thread of forgotten lore has been liberating.
It’s a lot easier to check in every few days to see what few weak ripostes the silt de la silt have to offer than it is to scan hundreds of foregoing jests in order to avoid red-faced redundancy. I still read the current stuff and skim through many of the comments, but unlike Actor and Looch I have more pressing concerns to attend.
Thanks for sticking around, guys– *sniff* My affection for you will truly LAST!
I still read the current stuff and skim through many of the comments, but unlike Actor and Looch I have more pressing concerns to attend.
You DO realize that makes you the retard of the bunch?
Always coming in…LAST?
Last, Last, Last, Always LAST…
retard of the bunch
I’ll remember that, Actor. Only 1,800 miles to go, and my blade is thirsty for blood. That aforementioned affection won’t LAST in your case.
FASTER, LIMPET! KILL! KILL!
*Aaaahhhh*… nothing like the smell of a deserted thread in the early morning.
I rest my case at long last.
Mind if I borrow that case? I have to run for the LAST train….
*hiding undocumented worker*
It’d be difficult indeed to document any actual *work* you’ve ever done, “Actor.”
You’re on the SUPERTRAIN to oblivion.
Yes, but I’m riding it to the LAST station on the line!
I’m goin’ off the rails at the LAST stop of this crazy train.
–And Looch is in the doomed caboose, as usual.
Poor Looch. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, until AT LAST we leave him behind.
*evolving*
Ya got a few epochs to go, Actor.
*taking refuge from the discussion of a Rush/Jonah/K-Lo threesome*
Oh man, that’s going to take some serious alcohol to scrub that image….
Ya got a few epochs to go, Actor.
Says the barely mobile monopod…
Haven’t you read that classic fable about the limpet and the sailfish?
The Old Man and the Z? Why yes, at last.
*taking off panther costume*
Oh gawd, not the panther again here! *Bleccch*
Don’t taunt the catamount, actor.
*Reusing “taunt the catamount” quip on latest nocturnally quiescent S, N! thread*
LAST, BLAST IT! MUST I MOON THE MOUNTAIN LION TO GET ANY CLOSURE HERE?
*Adapting Actor’s strategy of emphasizing quantity over quality in order to make a LASTING impression*
–Or should that have been “adopting?” Probably. That was quantity speaking, beerwise. LAST
Ohmygawd, this is, like, sooo BORING!!@!
Well, look who’s doing it! No wonder it’s boring you!
Oh. LAST! Also.
I’ve never played this game before. It’s a BLAST.
Well, Rev, the more the merrier.
All that matters is that you’re LAST.
Which you won’t be
*cough*
Hi gang! New member? (VPR)
I think of the future and not the past,
You have been warned, I will be last.
*shedding retard cloak*
You’ll be last when I’m dead!
Or just pining for the fjords.
I understand that monofoot is going on a high(dro) carbon diet these days. Slick.
*Drumming fingers, waiting for Actor*
LAST
Are you suggesting the Limpet is oily?
*tapping foot*
WELL??????
*shedding straw*
*scraping off blackface*
You’ll need a bigger and sharper trowel for that exfoliation to LAST, actor.
Me, I’m happily surfing this very, very moderate chocolatey sheen. WHEEEE
Suck that oil down, pod. It’ll be your LAST meal
*putting down cane*
*Doing Fred Astaire cane trick*
*putting mild mannered Actor212 disguise back on*
Putting on your top hat, brushing off your monopod?
I perforce tapdance in half-time, but it’s the soulful interpretation that makes a LASTING impression.
*dropping old people smell*
I hope that’s the LAST time I have to imitate Troofie’s grandma.
Sorry for the lapse, but lately we’ve had pleasant shirtsleeve weather for the first time since… well, since a couple of months before this post originally appeared.
It’s about ignorance of industry, remember?
*Back to puttering in the garden*
To your LAST, cobbler.
*slipping out of DKW mom’s backdoor*
Well, that ought to be the LAST time…
Only about fifteen hundred miles to go ’till I finally, LASTINGLY dice your giblets, Actor.
*slipping out of warpaint*
I’m so terrified of a monopod threatening to come get me. I take a step back and add a week to your plans.
*changing out of flannel*
*losing Big Bootay*
Had… to… actually work… for the last week… Not feeling good… might not last….
No. Do. Not. LAST.
*clipping nine inch nails*
The key to this LAST thing is an efficiency of movement. And minimizing costume changes.
*washing neck*
You keep amusing me…to the LAST
*slipping Chinese menu under Looch’s door*
That ought to keep him on the bowl.
At last! *whew*
Two from column A, two from column B, extra eggroll and two orders of fried wontons. That should last.
And an order of limpets in oyster sauce.
So last, last, last avast! I win!
LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST
And stay dead!
Batteries recharged by romping in the sunny wilderness with fellow lunatics. Last.
Yea, but that was last year, monopod.
LAST
Gluteus Lastimus
Me me me me me me, LASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!
Pity poor Actor, doomed to eternally penultimate scrabbling. At least Sisyphus had his peak moments, albeit fleeting…
Look who’s talking: the little limpet who couldn’t.
Finally, you realize the magnitude of my LASTitude.
You move to fast, eh, dude,
Wid your claims of lastitude.
And Looch moves too fast with the muthafucking submit button. At last, will I ever learn?
I move to fast too, after gorging on fast food. Seriously, how do people eat that stuff all day? Last time I had a burger and fries around a decade ago it took about twelve hours to re-muster an appetite.
Last food is what I’ll eat on the eve of execution, if those idiot detectives ever put two and three together.
I have so totally won this thread by dint of juvenile lastitude.
My LAST flow is stronger and more powerful than you to.
No way: I have at least to times your flowpower!
I’m a zombie when it comes to flow. I LAST and LAST and LAST.
*slipping out of T&U’s panties*
Do I detect (heh, new job joke) lassitude in my fellow travelers?
Not so much here. Just lastitude.
Dealeth.
Lassitude? Are you suggesting we’re collies?
At LAST, your bigotry reveals itself.
At LAST, your bigotry reveals itself.
Actually, I was calling you girly-men.
You know, that can’t LAST.
No lassitude here, Rin-Tin-Tin. Fortitude, attitude and studly pulchritude, sure.
Girly-men? Well, I’ve always worn my androgyny as a badge of honor: I can bring home the broccoli AND fry it up in a pan, whilst briskly stoking the home fires literal and figurative.
Some limp-wristed Looch questioning my manly credentials is grounds for naught but laughter. And Actor will never close this show ‘long as I’m able to crawl aboard the boards.
Felt good to write the archaic “whilst” for the first time, but it’s probably also the last…
And Actor will never close this show ‘long as I’m able to crawl aboard the boards.
I’ve rung down the curtain on many a LAST act in my career.
Old actors never die, they just fade away.
Hurry up, wouldja? Sheesh, some of us have better things to do…
Heh. The ActLooch contingent has folded, and at LAST I can attend to other, more mature activities. ALGAERINES!
I would say, “Not so fast, there monofoot,” but I really don’t have to now, do I?
This is the only contest in which you won’t come in LAST.
*slipping out of wrestling tights*
Oh, scuse me! I thought I was LAST
*tearing off flannel shirt*
Welcome. To This Old LAST
*whew*!
That eyepatch was bothersome.
*Preparing uber-nuclear LAST which will cow all competitors into whimpering submission*
–And if not submission, then manumission: great God almighty, you’re free at last!
Go ye forth and subtract, and don’t slam the portal upon egress.
*returning my doctorate*
Manumiss this:
LAST!
LAST for three days now
Just returned from backpacking in bear and cougar/puma country at LAST.
Apparently this last will truly last at last. Being steadfast is a blast!
I hope you were good to the LAST nibble for the bears.
Lulled the Limpet into inaction. How hard was that?
LAST for three days now
Blahblahblah.
**Pushpushpush**
**Rollrollroll**
**Dusts off hands**
**Watches rock roll down hill into mobile home park and land in pool**
At LAST he has risen!
See y’all again in the better part of a week, alas(t)
At LAST he has risen!
I don’t need to know about your LAST sexual encounter.
Oh-oh. Monofoot’s on an arduous week-long trip — to the other side of the small rock he lives on.
And LASTing is my hallmark in such things, Thespian.
You will never outLAST me, as spotty as your postings have been, my boy.
Endurance, Laddybuck, endurance. Not mere quantity.
What is the frequency, Kenneth?
Preparing to roll the rock away, are we?
*spraysprayspray*
*scrubscrubscrub*
*wipewipewipe*
Ah. Much cleaner around here now. I wonder if it will last?
*FART*
Guess not.
Well, it LASTED for half a day, anyway.
And, I simply must ask: Is that how you rolled the rock away?
He has risen, indeed!
Son, I’m always up.
And LAST one standing.
**grunt**
**squeaksqueaksqueak**
**click**
**whrrrrrrrrrrrrr**
Phew. With the windows open and the fan on it just might air out in here.
I just hope that smell doesn’t LAST.
Back to puerileality at LAST.
–Or should that be puerilealism?
Perhaps puerrealism? SUCK ON THIS, WHATEVAH.
The best part is that I’m going to disappear again soon to wander the western mountains in high summer and marvel at Nature’s Anselian glories.
The best part is that I’m going to disappear again soon to wander the western mountains in high summer and marvel at Nature’s Anselian glories.
So you carry your stuff in your shell? Or do you have a pack snail to carry it?
Take plenty of water, so you LAST.
*taking off my Hugetits*
Did I miss anything? I figured since, you know, I’m LAST, I might be a bit behind the times…
Nature’s Anselian glories
You’d better hope she’s not under eighteen.
Candygram!
Landshark!
Not gone yet, still packing water and salt tablets. It’s gonna be hot by PNW standards for the next few days…
L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L… L…
A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A…A… A… A… A…A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A…A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… A… *KABOOM*
–Er, that wasn’t actually me, guys: it was an early prototype of the ‘bots I mentioned on 12/3/09 @ 22:53, above.
Man, these interminable hours at the drawing board can get tedious.
–Damned thing even tried to usurp my handle *sigh*
Not gone yet, still packing water and salt tablets.
Interesting. A sea slug that needs more salt.
A sea slug that needs more salt.
Down by the seashore?
Have a good trip, Monofoot. I’ll wear down the Thespian and then we can battle it out to the LAST.
Tomorrow morn the limpet departs. Of course I need salt tabs, Actie: that cold, gushing freshwater in the mountains requires treatment to suit my marine metabolism. Last!
At least the Italic Army has not invaded here, yet (I hope). It’s our last refuge.
WE SHALL FIGHT THE FONTERISTS ON THE LAND! WE SHALL FIGHT THEM ON THE SEA!
WE SHALL FIGHT THEM TO THE last
I am all alone. I am LAST. The vast wasteland around me is testament to my staying power, ny fortitude, my pluck.
LAST to the LAST!
*dropping dopey Greek news anchor grin*
Wassup? Last. American TV news is Greek to me.
Oh look! Monopodia is running mild!
LAST
The Mild One will inherit the thread. Footfast and fancy free!
Fancy me being LAST.
Free Limpet! We will not leave until he has been loosed from his monopod and allowed to float away free! We will LAST!
Y’all realize we have an anniversary approaching, eh wot? ‘Bout 2-1/2 months.
We should plan a commemorative party, which I’ll be the LAST to leave as usual.
Y’all realize we have an anniversary approaching, eh wot? ‘Bout 2-1/2 months.
Because insiginificant appreciations of arbitrary events are so important.
You probably celebrated your half-anniversaries, too…
Go ahead and mock my sentimentally fraternal musings, actor. I’ll finally reach NYC in another month or two — with knife still clutched in teeth — and we’ll see who blinks then.
Last.
I’m so concerned over a blade-wielding monopod lurching along like a zombie amputee…
LAST
Heh. We’ll see who the amputee is in a few weeks.
BLASTOCYSTEMATICALLY LASTEST
Amputee? Son, for you to have two feet, you’d need to grow one!
LAST without further comment, except that my mother didn’t raise me to obsess over irrelevant nonsense like this and I really should have attended Stanford after all since they offered me a spot ‘way back in the ’70s and gotten that degree in medicine or whatever and served twenty years or so in some lucrative field instead of dropping into a fourth-rate state U. in TEXAS, fer gawdsake, then being determined to never hold a real “job” but rather to live by my scant wits and manual dexterity via independent craftsmanship and musical dabbling etc.
(Oops, sorry: time for another contemplative recharging session in the mountains.) LAST LAST LAST!
Yes, I am the epitome of a self-indulgently delusional boomer. But y’know what? It’s actually worked out very well, and Life Is Good for the foreseeable future.
/Sappy self-reflective persona
LAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTT
Maybe a vocational school would have worked better.
At least your skills would LAST
Skills, shmills. LAST
Y’wish, Loochie. I have myriad skillz that haven’t even seen the light of day yet. Good thing politics is out of the question.
Really, because if you were President, it would be the only time you were LAST
StillLASTima!
So LAST it’s LASTing until the LAST of time!
Been late-summer slackin’,
With vigilance lackin’.
But hold this thought fast:
I’ll always be LAST.
The actor has fled;
He’s got bugs to bed.
And Loochie is slumpin’,
With Limpet triumphin’.
Limpet be limpin’
His flow is so slow
Actor be pimpin’
His LAST is a go.
Going… going… GONE AT LAST
*riding in on his fine white charger*
Did someone ask for something that LASTs?
It’s been one week since I was LAST
One week, and one day. This one will LAST a lifetimez!
Anything interesting happen while I was on vay-cay? Wish it could have LASTED forever…
Nothing that couldn’t outLAST you, monopod
I just knew you’d scurry over here as soon as I piped up in today’s scrum, Actie.
Last.
As if you could possibly outLAST me
*cough*
Gah, I hope this cold doesn’t LAST.
The cold may last but not the last. Last.
Oh the cold will be THE LAST, because they don’t come any stone colder than me.
*de-deifying*
*de-royalfying*
*Re-Lasting*
Actor, I heard that Gary R. was looking for you. Skeered?
Why is Gary Rupp looking for me?
Did he miss me while I was away relaxing…at LAST?
Hullo? Is this thing on?
YES, IT’S ON.
It’ll be on ’till the end/last.
Oh look! Monopod has decided to enter the 21st Century!
At LAST!
Actor, I’m a-gonna be in your ‘hood in 2.5 weeks, for real. Duel?
Last, yadda yadda.
Limpie, bring it on! Budweisers at ten paces. I’ll outLAST you.
*returning to the Light Side*
*leaving Black Eyed Peas*
*slipping out of burnoose*
Wow. Finally. All alone.
At LAST
*shedding goopy wingnut costume*
Crawling into midtown @ midmorning today– haven’t been here for awhile ‘cuz that last couple hundred miles was BRUTALLY exhausting.
At LAST!
Well, you were supposed to alert me so I could clear the roads!
I hope the LAST few miles were the worst…
*slapping out of Halloween costumery*
*drying out Teabaggs*
*burning greel*
*raising title belt above my head*
At LAST!
*shedding spines*
*shedding scales*
NEVER SURRENDER!
Actor, you used that “scales” shtick moons and moons ago.
Sorry I couldn’t spare some time to teach you a manly physical lesson while we were in teh City recently.
Next time I visit, you will be vanquished at LAST.
DEFINITIVE LASTY LASTIEST LAST
Sorry I couldn’t spare some time to teach you a manly physical lesson while we were in teh City recently.
Naked spatula wrestling?
You’re lucky you didn’t show up! I had the butter melted and the saute pan warmed up…
At LAST some competition!
*leaving flowers*
*taking off straw boater*
*slipping off donkey costume*
*peeling off latex fat suit*
*loosing haxxor handle*
*loosing haxxor handle*
But… but… teh Final Soloosion!
Ultimate Victory is mine!
Confidential: Thanks, Guido! Knew I could count on you.
I don’t think so, monopod.
And Guido? Sleeps next to you now.
*shedding chest protector*
–Whaaaa? Dammit, I knew it was a bad idea to give Guido all that contract money in advance while we were in teh City!
Back to the crayon board…
*putting away fairy wand*
Whuh?
*Digging in Actor’s closet, finding wand and cackling fiendishly*
–And by “closet” I mean living room, given the well-known geobudgetary constraints of actor’s stompin’ turf.
Damn monopod…I should have laid down salt.
Wouldn’t take much NaCL in your digs, Actie: I have high shell pressure already.
—Oops, inadvertently imported ad hoc, temporary handle there….
*leaving an open scuba tank laying along the pier.*
Dinnerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
*washing off blackface*
*Freshly whitewashing in Tom Sawyer idiom*
*getting sautee pan for shellfish*
*slipping thru doors of perception*
*Scarfing several more peyote buttons*
*downing a mix of Ajax and chlorine*
You kids and your candy ass drugs.
*Slipping in LAST while actor’s distracted by arguing ad infinitum re Scalia*
I don’t think so, Monopud.
*scraping off face paint*
*Tossing bucket of slop eastward*
Actor no eat slop! Actor crush monopod like Randy Savage!
*shedding mildly slutty 80s icon dress*
ACK! Knock first, you idiot!
NEKKID LAST, and only proods nock.
ARRRRRGHHHHH ULTIMATE VICTORY AT LAST
Guess again, bottom dweller.
*slipping out of judicial robe and blackface*
ACTOR, I WILL OUTLAST YOU OR ELSE…OR… YOU ARE SO… ARRRRHGHHHHBLAAARGH, GROW UP ALREADY!
(De-channeling Mom’s crazy sis)
If I grow up any more, you won’t be able to look upon my magnificence.
*shedding mad Aussie mantle*
*wondering where monopod lurched off to…*
*de-Liptoning*
Sorry, been a bit under da wedder lately, but bedder now. Last!
Silly crustacean…
WOW! This is the portrait gallery! And look! Pictures of me all over the place!
Heh. Lastiest.
–And dammit, Actor: I am NOT a flippin’ crustacean, I’m a proud mollusk! Sheesh, did you cut all your junior high biology classes?
–Apparently so, to your LASTING discredit.
Silly fucking mollsuc who thinks he’s evolved into a crustacean…
Things like that don’t LAST
Yer like Ghaddafy, Limpie….you talk a big game but it will never LAST
LAST– but seriously, good to hear from you, Actie. I LOVE/HATE YOU, MAN!
(last, rlly.)
Nah. I don’t think so…LAST
FINIS REDUX
Sadly, No!
LAST
Et aussi FIN
Heh, read the whole thread. (redux-ux-ux)
LASTORIFFICALLY, ULTIMATEALLY FINALACEOUS!
I am the lastest, my friends,
‘Cause I kept on fighting ’til the end.
I am the lastest, I am the lastest,
No time for losers, ’cause I am the lastest…
Of the Thread!
At LAST, I can come out of the closet.
I AM
SpartacusTinTin!I lulled Limpet into a flase sense of security…
The Donalde will never find you here!
You are an evil genius to the last.
The last, I say!
The last, you say? Says you!
Ay, laddy, says me.
Geez, the buds of May are especially sticky this year
Aw, bud, you know we like you! At last.
Balsamic lastorifficness
Not so LAST there, Louie…
…Ye gotta go now.
Rabid ibid.
One last rivet, then
Repent, Rosie.
Rear-guard revelry rules.
Rumped to the LAST
Some gave all. All gave some. I give LAST
June, at LAST
Yeh, we may at LAST get two sunny days in a row this month in teh PNW…
Sucks to be you, to the very LAST
Actor, I will have you know that despite my puerile fixation on this thread, my world in fact ROCKS and doesn’t suck. YMMV to the last fumes in the tank.
Yea yea yea, I’ve heard that story before!
Yours wouldn’t be the LAST, either.
Near-summer soulstice-searching
Pondering the Olbermann? At LAST he returns to TV
‘Bout time to spring for that widescreen at LAST
Oh, I have a widescreen, 3D TV. Probably the LAST ever sold of that model
Lastly last last last LAST
–Ya think? DREAM ON, Mr. Tyler.
Shoemaker, to your LAST!
DANCE MY ELVES, DANCE!
ELVES has left the building.
At LAST
?
Psst, Monopod…eythay urklay ethay readthay….
Atwat ASTLAY!
This commenting system rocks, and every blog should use it.
(…eye-bay uh-thay ay-way, actor-yay: our-yay ig-pay atin-lay anscriptions-yay uck-say.)
–oops, that should have been anscriptions-tray. None of us are immune from uckitrude-say.
WINNAH AT LAST
Financial and legal obligations prevented me from commenting previously, but I’m free at LAST to speak
Free at LAST, free at LAST, great god almighty, I am free at LAST!
*holding championship belt over head*
ADRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
(Cue Steve Tyler falsetto)
Dream on… Dream on… Dream on… Dream on…
–And for good measure, cue up Lennon’s #9,000,000 dream as well.
I like dreaming. Dreaming is free…TO THE LAST!
LAST call!
Well, the front page may be down at the moment, but at least I can still come here and order another drink… make it strong, tall and frosty so it’ll LAST.
I think you’ve had enough. I’ll take THE LAST
Whoa, look at the calendrical time! LAST
Not so fast, Lasty McLastLast. I’M LAST!
Y’know, three could play at this game, but (surprisingly) I have more of an existence than you two.
You couldn’t outLAST us if we spotted you fifty posts…
1,850.
Just because I’m
oldermore mature doesn’t mean I’ll die first!Oh, we’ll be there when you take your LAST breath, sir
LASTed
Whoops, sorry about the
lapseLAST– been reaping summer, and I’m more inspired to keep up here in the dimmer months, duhh.Did you give summer roofies or just throw her on her back?
Oh, REAPing! Sorry, I lost my LAST pair of reading glasses…
Actor, you’re a fine chap, and your quips are far wittier than I could ever muster. If we ever meet in person, I’m eager to buy you a beer or three– hell, I’ll spring for dinner and everything, since it’ll be such a pleasure to finally meet you. Here’s a virtual *slap on the back* for a true bud, however odd the circumstances of our acquaintance may be!
(Good thing Nice Guys finish LAST)
Yes but pricks finish even LASTER!
And LAST much longer, too!
Yeesh, the current front page has been stuck on Crazy Cat Lady for four days, which reminds me of my duty here to LAST
And LAST and LAST and LAST
Nuh-uh. Spoiled you with that LAST multi-day lapse, but I won’t be so negligent henceforth.
Steadfastly LASTLY lurking…
VICTOR
–last.
–Hmm, my jokey fake-HTML disappeared in the transition from preview above– no matter.
LUUUUUUAAAAAASSSTT.I’ll allow you to be first to LAST but I’m still LAST
And it’s spelled LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAST!
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLoooooosers overuse LLLLLLLLLLs, but Long-Lasting Limpets issue LAST call in better taste.
!
They sing their dearest songs–
He, she, all of them–yea,
Treble and tenor and bass,
And one to play;
With the candles mooning each face….
Ah, no; the years O!
How the sick leaves reel down in throngs!
They clear the creeping moss–
Elders and juniors–aye,
Making the pathways neat
And the garden gay;
And they build a shady seat….
Ah, no; the years, the years;
See, the white storm-birds wing across!
They are blithely breakfasting all–
Men and maidens–yea,
Under the summer tree,
With a glimpse of the bay,
While pet fowl come to the knee….
Ah, no; the years O!
And the rotten rose is ripped from the wall.
They change to a high new house,
He, she, all of them–aye,
Clocks and carpets and chairs
On the lawn all day,
And brightest things that are theirs….
Ah, no; the years, the years;
Down their carved names the raindrop plows.
At LAST, when all the summer shine
That warmed life’s early hours is past,
Your loving fingers seek for mine
And hold them close At LAST At LAST!
LASTdididlydo.
There once was an Actor from this thread,
Who thought he’d be LAST when I’m long-dead.
But I’m training lackeys,
Who’ll cover my backey–
‘Til Actor brands LOSER in his head.
Oh monopod! Oh monpod!
Your mollusk form delights us
Your gastropod extends out
But LAST you’ll be without.
All your LAST are belong to mollusk!
You missed this LAST crumb….
*GLOM*
*Gulp*
–GLAST
Clearly, you meant “GLASTnost” or capitluation to the fact that I am first, always and LAST the better man
Gno way. This thread’s gone pferal, and Limpet has the upper pfoot in the quest for LASTING dominance, as was written in the lawbooks of the Kelp Jungle.
You LAST about as long as a Harman Cain candidacy.
Limpet Limpet Limpet Limpet,
Limpet Limpet Limpet Limpet…
Limpet Limpet Limpet Limpet–
ac-TOR, ac-TOR–
Limpet Limpet Limpet Limpet,
Limpet Limpet Limpet Limpet…
Limpet Limpet Limpet Limpet–
ac-TOR, ac-TOR–
—Ooooohhhh, a last!! A LAAAAAST….
Avast, actor– at last a LAST has collapsed yer mast! Ahrrrrr.
My mast is stiff in the breeze, monopod! And it’s coming for you, LAST!
11/11/11!!!! NIGEL TUFMAN DAY/SECOND FREAKIN’ ANNIVERSARY OF THREAD PERMALASTLASTY LAST!!!!
–GODDAM YURPEEN TIME STAMP!!!!
You screwed up.
Don’t worry. It won’t be your LAST
Yep, mea culpa: it’s Nigel Tufnel.
OTHERWISE, LAST, MOFO!!!!
LAST?
Did someone say “LAST”?
I don’t know whom they could be talking to since I’m clearly LAST
ever-penultimate is poor actor while limpet lasts and lasts…
You mistake slow for stamina
Are you DKW/s mom?
ooooh, a mom joke! At LAST!
Poor Monopd, singing blues about Texans while he loses LAST
I had the blues so bad one time,
…..
Well, it’s LASTED ever since.
So you take little blues pills to LAST?
I pity the Pod (Mrs)
Me, I can LAST all night.
FINIS, FINIS, TOUJOURS LE FINIS C’EST MOI BACK ATCHA, MOFO!!!!
PARLAY-VOOO A HUMMMA-HUMMMA?
Oooh, did I strike a nerve mentioning your dysfuntction? I didn’t mean to. I want our friendship to LAST
LAST it will, if you so will it. I cannot kill my friend… casually.
Kill is such a LAST resort for myself, as well.
Har! That Geller/turkey slaughter thread is fun-nee, but I’ll refrain from chipping in lest I remind actie of my existence and send him scurrying over here to hastily trump this LAST.
Well, my monopodic friend, I just want to come here as my LAST post today, and wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
Thankee, actor! We have a great meal planned and already in the works, and if it’s a sub-fatal dose of excess this won’t be my last LAST.
You gonna eat that crescent roll? I don’t want to take the LAST one unless I have to. Temba, his arms wide open.
Go ahead, take it– I didn’t tamper with it or inject any foreign substances at all, nope.
Last.
Well, it LASTed and LASTed with no ill effects.
sTill tHankful 2-B LAST
Yea, but….you’re not LAST. I am.
The fleetingness of LASTitude
Puts me in a pensive mood–
Despite this humble mote of glory,
Actie may extend the story.
Oh, so LAST that it’s not funny how LAST I am…
Ye’d best be humble, lest your LAST lapse.
I am totally humble, to the LAST
Actor, your humility is but a facade, a shameless sham. On the other hand, I am truly, sincerely, and incalculably humble, to an almost unprecedented degree in the history of humanity– and my awesome humility is fated to LAST until the LAST star in the cosmos beams its LAST rays.
Not only that, my trove of humility is richly deserved, having been gained in the old-fashioned way: I earned it.
Toad away, toad awy, toad away, toad aw-way
Where do you go when you’re t-oad away?
Monopod, you just posted a whole lot of words about how you are the “most humble being on the planet.”
Sicne I used far fewer words, clearly, I’m the LAST humble creature on earth.
Uriah Heep’s got nutting on moi, to the LAST.
OK, actie– I’ll admit that you’re indeed more humble than I.
——————————————————————————————
(….the foregoing humble admission shows that I’m actually more humble and am merely being charitable as well!) BWAAAAHHH–HAAHH—HAAAAAAAH!
No no, sir, Admtting one is more humble is the ultimate of in humility. But you’d know that if you finished the LAST course in humility.
I did finish that course– LAST in the class!
Which means you failed and were left behind.
But not LAST
Amazingly for a mollusk, I can move LASTER than light:
“…Sorry, we don’t serve limpets in here,” said the bartender.
A limpet walks into a bar…
Well, you’re certainly slow, but you’re never LAST
While it seems I may finally BE LAST!
Steadfastillaly LASTEST.
Continue to nurture those LASTING delusions, actie.
I have no delusions. I shall be LAST first, LAST best, LAST forever, LASTly, LAST
We’ll see about that…
♫ You and me endLASTly… ♫
? Ain’t no way to hide your lying preview ?
FYWP to the LAST
That will be my LAST attempt at making musical-note symbols here.
o/~ Monopod, oh monopod, your typing skills need honing o/~
LASTiddly LAST
LASTed three days, that LAST LAST
Weather’s been abnormally pleasant and dry ’round here the last few days.
LAST or Cerebust.
I can barely LAST thru Cerb’s screeds, myself, which forces me to claim LAST once again
Just poppin’ in prolixity-split to splatter soft-boiled egg yolk on Actie’s last LAST.
Oh, too bad!
I’m standing over yonder.
OutLASTing you.
Now that you mention it, yonderward is where most of the yolk’s now oozing, ewww.
FINALE
Ah, but yondah lies da cassel of my faddier! And it LASTs!
*Burning actor’s cassel and sinking it into the swamp*
Last!
Laddie, someday this will all be yours…but not today
LAST
–You got my message at LAST!
No, at first, but I sent my reply LAST
Let’s not argue about ‘oo’s outLASTED who– this is supposed to be a happy occasion!
Yes. We should be celebrating how I’m LAST
There’s a party goin’ on right here,
A celebration, to LAST throughout the year…
Yes, but I’ll be the LAST guest to leave
I’ll be the LAST guest to leave
–Oooh, promises, promises: notoriously disinclined to LAST.
Oh, ask your mom. I LAST and LAST and LAST
It’s getting difficult to come up with fresh angles on LAST– hard to believe teh shoemaking forms were already stale and stinky two years ago.
Are you telling me you’re reaching the LAST of your arsenal?
–Nope, just been busy making honest-to gawd figgy pudding — epic, by the way, which it ought to be considering the prolonged culinary exertions involved in its forging — and momentarily forgot about my obligations to be eternally LAST hereabouts.
I sure hope your figgy wasn’t your LAST
Oh dear, it appears I’m LAST
Sorry, actie: da Limp’s been otherwise engaged forging LASTING memories over the LAST few days. Watch out for that lull, itsa killer.
LAST in the New Year, sonny boy. LAST
‘Kay, back from checking the nutria trapline at LAST
TWO KILLS TO REPORT: perhaps I’ve figured out how to defend the cool-season veggies from the depredations of oversized South American aquatic rats at LAST.
You suffer from nutria?
Try vitamins.
My mom had a nutria jacket. She bought it with that tips you left.
After all, you were LAST
Except here.
Always willing to brandish an exception to your feeble exceptions, actie…
To my LASTing regret…
TriOOMPHHal last.
Aackphhhitt, and sundry other euphonious salutations. DIS DNA WILL RULE DA FUTURE
I may be on vacation, but let us not believe my brain was the LAST thing to shut down….
ACTOR HE MOUF WORKIN’ OVAHTIME, MIND ON VAYCAY
Until the LAST second before I go back to work
There’s some seriously crappy Photoshopping goin’ on ’round these parts, and I’ve come to clean this town up, graphically speakin’.
–If only that fantasy could LAST…
Oh? So we should thank you for the latest batch?
I hope it doesn’t LAST.
Hey, that last one got passably cleaned up overnight– maybe someone staged an intervention for old Cerb at LAST.
My mad P-shop skillz far surpass the typical butchery we see here, actie.
Pictures, or it didn’t happen.
And you know how LASTing an impression photos can make
Har! I’ll have to send you a belated e-copy of the Limpette’s and my 2011 Xmas card. It was built to LAST, to say the least.
I’d love to see it. I’m sure it’s a LASTing memory.
actor212@yahoo.com
What’s all this, then?
What’s all what then? Have you at LAST come to your senses?
–Oops, slacking lately: LAST
*Feeling a sense of deja vu from that last minimalistic LAST*
–Pictures soon, actie.
At LAST. I thought perhaps you had breathed your LAST
Spring is near here at LAST
Well, yes, but it won’t LAST all that long.
Whoa, got so occupied with the nutria that I clean missed the groundhogs’ burrow emergence. Our weather of late brings tidings that winter won’t LAST much longer– claws crossed!
Well, we have a storm headed this way that may dump our first real snowfall…at LAST
Literally, LAST 🙂
🙁 And we were so close to making it to 2,000 posts. That would have put this in the hall of fame…AT LAST
Hey, “actor?” My homie Limpet asked me to drop by and remind you that you’ll never LAST on dis reef. He’s lately been busy with da spawnin’ season, but will soon return to nix your eternally futile audition.
Heh. Is your first name Lawrence, Whelk?
SLOW-STALKED, STEALTHY last.
But not long enough to LAST
Stealth complacency-lulling EVERLAST
More like you’ve been drinking EVERCLEAR
The only EVERLAST I know will knock you out.
Do Limpets celebrate Easter?
I guess not. Not even Orthodox limpets.
Sorry actie– been a little buggy on this ancient Mac lately.
Latter-day LAST.
Oh great, you’re a Seventh-Day LASTventist???
Relatively unimaginative LAST
YEEEAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! VICTORY IS MINE AT LAST, LAST, LAAAAAAAASSSSSST…..
*tapping the Limpet*
I think not.
That LAST claim was a bit too bold…
Limpets may be slow and steady, but actors are more faithful
ZZZzzzz… *Snort* –Whaaaaaa?
Oh, right: LAST.
A TRIUMPH FOR TEH AGES. A LAST WHOSE EXEMPLARY STEADFASTNESS WILL BE GLOWINGLY CITED IN TEXTBOOKS FOR EONS.
Has he finally been lulled into complacency?
Acting is all about subtlety. Last.
Midsummer LAST
A good actor knows how to keep his audience in….
This thread is not dead yet.
The pest pulled up, propped his pushbike at a pillar box, pulled his peen, paused at a post and pissed.
“Piss in the proper place,” pronounced a perturbed pedestrian, and presently, this particular part of the planet was plunged into a panorama of public pressure and pleasure through pain.
The pandemonium prompted the police, who patrolled the precinct in pandacars, to pull up and peruse the problem, while pickpockets picked pockets in pairs.
“Arrest the pest who so pointedly pissed in that public place,” pleaded the peeved people, practically palpitating.
The powerful police picked up the pest: pronounced him a poof, a pansy, a punk rocker, a pinko, a poodle poker. they picked him up, pummeled his pelvis, punctured his pipes, played ping-pong with his pubic parts, and packed him in a place of penal putrefaction.
The period in prison proved pitiless. the pendulous pressure of a painless personality purge prompted the pest to ponder upon progressive politics… and a workable prognosis.
He put pen to paper and provocatively and persuasively propagated his personal political premise.
Pity.
A police provocateur put poison pellets in the pest’s porridge. the police provocateur was promoted, and the pest was presented with the Pulitzer peace prize… posthumously.
Yes, it is.
1,999!!
And … 2,000!
2001: A Space Odyseuysee
–WHAT TH’—?
LAST, consarn it! Just what in the name of carpetbaggin’, johnny-come-lately rube-noobin’ flimflam is goin’ AWN heah?
I guess a few fiends dropped by to help us celebrate.
Oh, by the way….
LAST!
ULTIMATE!!
NEIN! Still last is der clinging limpet!
?????????, ?????????
Which translates roiughly to “Zadnji, drugovi”
Last.
Not so fast there, my penultimate little friend.
Back atcha, not for the LAST time…
No, for only I shall have LASTing piece…
Pooping on Actie’s LAST
Sadly, old friend, that was not my last.
But now I am LAST
Oh, Yeah? Laster.
On this Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful that I AM LASTESTEST!
Actie give me turkee? Thankfulness seldom LASTS.
Boy, that turkey LASTed….
LAST, gobble gobble gobble….
ANOTHER COUP IN A LONG LINE OF MEGA-MULTI-DAY LASTING TRIUMPHS.
I rest my case, at least until it’s undermined by subsequent.
Subsequent LAST to rub it in to… what end?
A great actor knows that timing is everything.
Yup, time to send in the clowns at LAST, actie.
Is that the best you have, Saruman?
Here’s the LAST you’ll get.
*Rampaging Orc LAST*
I visited many web sites but the audio quality for audio songs present at this
web page is in fact superb.
Ummm…. superb audio LAST
–Yep, just listen to that sweet, sweet echo…
Yes, unfortunately I’ve got the LAST quarter for the juke box, so you’ll dance to my LAST dance.
*Spastic, arrhythmical flailing LAST*
Oh dear….is that a hungry octopus I see behind you?
LAST!
Not.
Pity. He looks hungry. Are yo usue? He;s waving his tentacles in your face.
But at least you have it right. You are “not” last.
Yer last last lease is hereby revoked, Actie.
It’s sad when monopodia try to stand on their own two legs.
LAST!
Hah! I’m far too hard-shelled for a lame thespian to outLAST!
Oh, I always stick around until the LAST performance.
The most important thing in show business is sincerity. Since actie can’t even fake that, he’s always the LAST one called for a role.
Which means I always GET the role!
In this case, the role is LAST!
Back from our woodsy cabin trip to triumphantly trumpet another LAST blast.
Which quickly gets muffled by your read end, at LAST
LAST LAST LAST LAST
LAST LAST LAST LAST
LOVELY LAST, WONDERFUL LAST…….
Sheesh, Actie: I admit that your preternatural persistence reluctantly raises the question of whether I’ll ultimately be LAST, but… *clutching chest*
Yes, you let that monopodian heart of yours contemplate the possibility of losing, stressing it further and further until it finally goes limpet, and I. AM. LAST!
VeRnAl rEIncARnAtiOn LAST
Yah, except it didn’t LAST
Whoops, almost forgot about my everLASTING responsibilities here!
Don’t worry. It won’t LAST
Still enragey after all these years, and built to… well, you know.
Droop?
Cuz goodness knows, you can’t LAST.
Here’s a new bLAST from the present to resent, Actie.
Oh Limpie! It is you, at LAST!
You can say that again… and it probably won’t be for the LAST time.
Of course not! I can LAST and LAST and LAST
…and LAST and LAST and… we shall see. As I observed several years ago, this is a terminal thread. May the LAST man standing live to gloat for at least awhile.
Well, at least you said LAST man and not some imaginary creature of underwater origin.
Who has not a leg to stand on.
LAAAAAAASSSSSST 4EVAAAHHH!
4EVAH ain’t LASTing.
Insanely pointless persistence LASTS quite well, though.
Well, it gives a good pass at LASTing but you’re up against the eternal LASTing force.
We shall see, Actie.
LAST #2,062
If only, my monopodic friend, who cannot LAST much longer…
Lastly, this last shall LAST
LAST ye not, unLASTing friend
LAST!
Lessee, what can I check off the list for today? So far, gluttony, sloth, pride, greed, wrath, envy, and… LAST!
But not LAST like me.
In fact, I think this thread and I are going to get gay married. Don’t worry. We’ll make it LAST
You two sound like you’re having a bLAST.
Oh but we are! And now, at LAST, a third has joined in. Soon, we may have an orgy!
SHARK WEEK COMING UP SOON, AT LAST!
At LAST but not LONG enough.
LIMPIE! I missed you!
–Sorry for the typical summery lapse, but ye haven’t seen the LAST of me by a nautical mile, matey!
Naut at all, my friend, naut at all
Oh. And LAST!
LAST one (after me) into the pool is a scurvy bilge rat!
Who says “scurvy bilge rat” anymore?
In fact, I think I may have been the LAST one to say it!
Golly, it’s time for Jolly Molly’s FINALE!
Oh, I don’t think so…not at LAST
Aw shucks, acid reflux FINIS redux
Oh dear. Perhaps you need to lie down. You’ve made your LAST comment…
L
A
S
T
Um, no.
I AM LASTACUS!
AVAST! Talk Like a Pirate Day LAST, me hearty!
Ye’ll ne’ever tear me from the missenLAST, bucko!
Oops, got too deep into the rum and missed a few days there, mate! But now I be back at LAST…
It’s good to see you…not.
I will outLAST you!
October über-LAST
LASTicles!
Heh. Let the LAST among you inherit the
Heh. The LAST among you shall inherit the Earth…
–oops, damn preview
HAH! So you think you can LAST?
*Eastwoodesque squint, thinking*…
Yeah.
LAST
You have to ask yourself. Do you feel LASTy punk?
Where is my beautiful LAST?
I think it’s right behind you, coming in LAST
–Oh, yeah: there’s my LAST!
You have to get up pretty early in the morning to outLAST me
Does just staying up past midnight count? LAST
I’m afraid not. That merely means you underslept, and the early bird gets the LAST
2100 AND LAST!
The falling leaves drift by the window,
The autumn leaves of red and gold…
Your futile quest to be the LASTEST,
Will never last when this thread gets old.
Hmph, should have dropped the word “thread” from the foregoing for better scanning. Whatevah, LAST
Sadly, you are not the LAST leaf on the tree, my monopdiac friend.
gLASTnost, Comrades!
Perish the LAST thought!
LAST diehard to perish wins!
I die harder, with a vengeance, and LAST
Heh. LASTER, harder and even more vengeful, I be.
Nah, you be a little limp-et.
My hardness LASTs
Just ask your mom.
Phoning it in LAST
Oh yes, you are definitely phoning it in, but not from the LAST phone booth.
SUPERDUPERMAN last! Up, up and awaaaayyyyy….
–Dang, missed a shout-out to the thread’s fourth anniversary in those LAST few posts…
And only 2100 posts? You’re slacking, slow poke. You’ll never LAST
2,116th LAST and counting interminably
It’s Blowvember and I can LAST all eternity
And it’s almost Dickember, and I’m still at it!
Sorry for teh gap, Actie: been busy stoking the literal home fires for the LAST week.
So you’re saying the LAST of your shell burned down?
Sorry to leave you hanging there penultimately for so long, Actie! Been variously out of the country and out of sorts for a bit… but all of that never LASTS. After all, there’s a war or two going on.
In and out…that’s what she said, but at least she liked my ability to LAST
Your “abilities” just got outLASTED
I just ran through this thread and had a bLAST from the past.
Apparently, that bLAST knocked you out of the running.
WINNER, WINNER! CHICKEN DINNER! THE CHAMP IS HERE!
It’s Christmas Eve! A very merry, merry, merry LAST to one and all!
FA LAST LAST LAST LAST, LAST LAST LAST!
Even laster last…
But not LASTest LASTer LAST
or LAST
or LASTER
or LASTEST
or LASTESTER
or LASTEST
Lulled-Actie-into-hoped-for-complacency-and-inattention LAST
Nadie espera que el inqusition final!
Heh heh heh, the monopod is asleep…at LAST
*dancing around in my underwear*
Finally! Alone AT LAST!
I am not yet dead!
I am, however, LAST!
Not so LAST there, fast…..
*dancing around in underpants*
The LAST of my clothes…
YEEEAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!
ENRAGED LIMPET BACK! FUKUSHIMA RADIATION TURN LIMPET INTO ENRAGED LIMPET HULK! HULK LIMPET SMASH ALL OTHERS WHO TRY BEING…
last
AND ENRAGED HULK LIMPET NOT LIKE PUNY MUSSELS WITH ONLY LIP GREEN! NO! HULK LIMPET GREEN ALL OVER, AND WHEN LIMPET SMASH, IT LAST SMASH YOU EVER NEED TO STAY SMASHED!
*sliding underwear off*
Dude, you’re naked. You might want to put these on as a LAST resort.
ENRAGED HULK LIMPET NO PUT THOSE SKANKY SHORTS ON EVEN IF THEY LAST UNDERWEAR ON EARTH!
Well, I sure don’t want to see that shriveled LAST cut of meat hanging off your tiny little pelvis!
Hey, actor212, hows it hanging for you?
LAST EXIT TO BARNACLE LAND
HAH! THREAD STAY SMASHED FOR OVER TWO DAYS! MAYBE HULK LIMPET FINALLY FIND WAY TO BE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO DRIVE OFF ALL OTHERS WHO TRY BEING LAST!
DA! Bro! You gonna jump in?
Oh, and Limp-it?
LAST!
*peeking over half wall*
PRECIOUS! IT’S MINE! I’M LAST!
*bathing in the LAST rays of sunshine*
Limpet back at LAST
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me LAST
And…..LAST and LAST and….LAST!
*Whew*, Was a bit worried for a few recent days, but back we is at LAST, Preciousssss!
And yet, I will survive to the very LAST!
We shall see! TERMINUS
You are not alpha and OMEGA, my friend
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz….
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!
I wanted to make sure my greeting was the LAST
Poor Limpie, knocked out of contention like he was Brazil…
LAST!!!!!!
Nay: Least you be, and LAST is ME!
Like the Netherlands, you couldn’t make the LAST bell.
DEUTSCHLAND, UBER LASTES!
LIEBENSLASTENRAUM, BEYOTCHES!
Final victory is mine at LAST.
Oh, hey, what’s going on in here?
You Shall Not Pass!
Last
5 days belated, thread’s 5th anniversary LAST